Crazael
Rehydrated Demon King
- Location
- Lost to the vagaries of time.
He said it would be something original, but I wouldn't be surprised to find references to various things in the places he goes.
Tachikoma's Aunt
Priestess of Yog-Sothoth
- Location
- Variable
Radiation poisoning can take as much as two or three weeks to kill, depending on exposure and treatment. And the initial symptoms are generally flu-like and can take a couple hours to present themselves. Plus, the thing about radiation poisoning (well, alpha and beta anyway) is that it's really easy to treat: simply remove yourself from the vicinity of the rad source and drink as much diuretics (coffee, alcohol, soda) as you can choke down without vomiting. Your kidneys will filter out the radioactive material along with all the excess fluids. In more severe cases, as above, but also take a bunch of potassium iodide.You may or may not have to worry about cancer in few years thanks to the genetic damage, though.
XelianEmperor
Fragile. Handle with care
Love it please more
The footage didn't show much, in the end.
More of the tunnel and heavy wooden and metal doors at each side from time to time. Same gray stone walls.
However, I apparently spent three minutes running it against a door at the end of the tunnel before I turned it around and headed back.
Well, that's just the price to pay for not streaming video.
That was a week ago and I had finally gathered everything I thought I might possibly need.
"Okay... Let's see." I said as I knelt down to do a final check of my surplus military backpack. "Couple of days worth of food, three liters of pure water, water purifier, bathroom supplies, fire starting materials, lighter, matches and fire piston thingy. Extra set of clothes along with winter jacket and sleeping bag. First aid kit. Small laptop with good battery. Manual laptop charger."
I checked it all off on the checklist before closing the backpack.
"Lightweight tent." I then continued, strapping it to the backpack.
I estimated that the expedition would only take a maximum of forty minutes to give me all the buffer in the world in case something went wrong, but I had watched Sliders.
Just in case, if the worst thing happen and I got stranded, I didn't want be unequipped.
Okay, next would be me.
"Good boots, socks, underwear, surplus military pants, black t-shirt. Military vest, pockets stuffed with small useful items." I quickly went through them and checked against the list. Most of them contained candy, but there was also a pocket knife and a small torch, pen and paper.
Everything seemed to be in order.
"Belt...good knife, hard drive for the head camera. Secondary, manually charging torch."
I think that was everything.
I nodded and started to get ready, putting my surplus military flak helmet on before adjusting the GoPro camera in place and turning it on before sliding a second thing around the helmet above the camera.
Headlamps were way too damn useful not to use. Keeping my hands free could be really important.
I shrugged the backpack on and did a couple of bounces to check that it was comfortable enough, if a bit heavy. Then I draped the length of rope diagonally across me over my left shoulder.
Rope was too damn useful not to bring.
Finally I picked up my last piece of equipment. A heavy-duty crowbar, a full meter long. Just as good a weapon as a baseball bat and way more useful for other things as well.
If it was good enough for Freeman, it was good enough for me.
Honestly, I would have preferred a gun, but even if I technically could get my hands on one, it would take six months of courses to do. Not waiting that long.
Not that I wanted to be waving one around during first contact anyway.
I took a slow deep breath and then reached for the last piece of equipment and picked up the Crystal Device.
Okay then. Let's go.
I aimed it at an empty spot and pressed the button, causing a portal to open up to show a misty forest.
Nope. I need somewhere that might have something useful. Okay, new planet and everything, but what could I find there that I can actually examine?
Also, forests had animals that might want to eat me.
I closed it and opened it again. Dusty desert.
Nope. I needed artifacts.
I kept zapping until a brown tunnel showed up. It was dungeon-like, but not exactly like the other one I explored with the MALP before.
The fact that this one was clearly laid and carved stone was about the only thing they had in common. This one had more carvings and was clearly built in a different style, if just as dark and damp.
This place did not look inhabited. While there were a couple of torches on the walls, none of them were lit.
Still, even abandoned, it should contain interesting artifacts.
As horrible as it might sound, hopefully something I could sell. All the equipment I bought was quite expensive for me.
"Come on, Malpy. Let's have a look, then." I said and picked up the MALP and remote control before stepping through the portal and looked around.
Interesting, I was at the end of the corridor and the portal had opened at the end of the tunnel. Was it built for this?
Maybe the device was broken and jumped between pre-programmed locations, or maybe there was something missing.
Putting down the MALP and a weight, I drove it down the tunnel about five meters, causing a string of green fishing line to unspool behind the malp as well as check for traps ahead of me.
Good, it worked. That would guide me back if I needed it.
Making sure the Crystal Device was secure in my inner pocket, I slid the large crowbar into my belt before I started to slowly and carefully follow the MALP into the dark.
AN// Many thanks to Grey Rook for betaing this section.
More of the tunnel and heavy wooden and metal doors at each side from time to time. Same gray stone walls.
However, I apparently spent three minutes running it against a door at the end of the tunnel before I turned it around and headed back.
Well, that's just the price to pay for not streaming video.
That was a week ago and I had finally gathered everything I thought I might possibly need.
"Okay... Let's see." I said as I knelt down to do a final check of my surplus military backpack. "Couple of days worth of food, three liters of pure water, water purifier, bathroom supplies, fire starting materials, lighter, matches and fire piston thingy. Extra set of clothes along with winter jacket and sleeping bag. First aid kit. Small laptop with good battery. Manual laptop charger."
I checked it all off on the checklist before closing the backpack.
"Lightweight tent." I then continued, strapping it to the backpack.
I estimated that the expedition would only take a maximum of forty minutes to give me all the buffer in the world in case something went wrong, but I had watched Sliders.
Just in case, if the worst thing happen and I got stranded, I didn't want be unequipped.
Okay, next would be me.
"Good boots, socks, underwear, surplus military pants, black t-shirt. Military vest, pockets stuffed with small useful items." I quickly went through them and checked against the list. Most of them contained candy, but there was also a pocket knife and a small torch, pen and paper.
Everything seemed to be in order.
"Belt...good knife, hard drive for the head camera. Secondary, manually charging torch."
I think that was everything.
I nodded and started to get ready, putting my surplus military flak helmet on before adjusting the GoPro camera in place and turning it on before sliding a second thing around the helmet above the camera.
Headlamps were way too damn useful not to use. Keeping my hands free could be really important.
I shrugged the backpack on and did a couple of bounces to check that it was comfortable enough, if a bit heavy. Then I draped the length of rope diagonally across me over my left shoulder.
Rope was too damn useful not to bring.
Finally I picked up my last piece of equipment. A heavy-duty crowbar, a full meter long. Just as good a weapon as a baseball bat and way more useful for other things as well.
If it was good enough for Freeman, it was good enough for me.
Honestly, I would have preferred a gun, but even if I technically could get my hands on one, it would take six months of courses to do. Not waiting that long.
Not that I wanted to be waving one around during first contact anyway.
I took a slow deep breath and then reached for the last piece of equipment and picked up the Crystal Device.
Okay then. Let's go.
I aimed it at an empty spot and pressed the button, causing a portal to open up to show a misty forest.
Nope. I need somewhere that might have something useful. Okay, new planet and everything, but what could I find there that I can actually examine?
Also, forests had animals that might want to eat me.
I closed it and opened it again. Dusty desert.
Nope. I needed artifacts.
I kept zapping until a brown tunnel showed up. It was dungeon-like, but not exactly like the other one I explored with the MALP before.
The fact that this one was clearly laid and carved stone was about the only thing they had in common. This one had more carvings and was clearly built in a different style, if just as dark and damp.
This place did not look inhabited. While there were a couple of torches on the walls, none of them were lit.
Still, even abandoned, it should contain interesting artifacts.
As horrible as it might sound, hopefully something I could sell. All the equipment I bought was quite expensive for me.
"Come on, Malpy. Let's have a look, then." I said and picked up the MALP and remote control before stepping through the portal and looked around.
Interesting, I was at the end of the corridor and the portal had opened at the end of the tunnel. Was it built for this?
Maybe the device was broken and jumped between pre-programmed locations, or maybe there was something missing.
Putting down the MALP and a weight, I drove it down the tunnel about five meters, causing a string of green fishing line to unspool behind the malp as well as check for traps ahead of me.
Good, it worked. That would guide me back if I needed it.
Making sure the Crystal Device was secure in my inner pocket, I slid the large crowbar into my belt before I started to slowly and carefully follow the MALP into the dark.
AN// Many thanks to Grey Rook for betaing this section.
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- Location
- Logan, Queensland, australia
...Perhaps you meant 'Fishing' line?
Black Noise
Curious
- Location
- About 1AU from Sol
No note/will plus attached video explaining to anyone who might take offense to your disappearance that you went out of their lives in the most awesome way ever?
You know, in case you do become a Slider with a better remote.
You know, in case you do become a Slider with a better remote.
I slowly made my way down the tunnel, the only sounds accompanying me was the whine of the electric car and my own footsteps.
It didn't take long to reach a corner and I stopped the remote control car to peak around it.
Great job, genius. You have a headlight on your head. I'm sure there would have been no way for anyone to see me, walking around with a ton of lights down a dark fucking tunnel.
Sadly, that thought didn't strike me until after I had already done it. Luckily, though, the tunnel was clear.
Nobody there, but there was a sturdy wooden door in the left wall about five meters further away.
Damn it, be more careful.
Think or you might get killed. Or worse, trapped.
Stepping around the corner again, I drove the RC car down it, following in it's track about five meters behind, driving it past the door.
When I reached the door though, I stopped to look over it.
It looked very solid and very old. A pair of heavy metal hinges on one side, black metal bars across it, holding the solid oak planks together. A big heavy handle.
The door looked like something that would had belonged on a very old and solidly built barn, if thicker looking.
Putting the remote control down on the floor, I checked my wrist watch timer. Five minutes passed, thirty five minutes left before I have to start back.
I pulled the crowbar from my belt to hold in my right hand as I reached out to start to slowly push the dusty door open.
While the design looked human enough, who knew what kind of aliens I could run into. Of course, the dust on the handle and in the corridor did point towards this place being long abandoned.
The door started to slowly creak open and I gave it a push before stepping back and taking cover against the wall.
The door hit the wall with a creak and a wooden thump and then there was silence other than my breathing.
I carefully peeked around the corner into the room. No use bothering with the headlight then, if they didn't notice the door opening, they wouldn't notice the light either.
The room was dusty, I could see barrels, a table and chairs, empty bookshelves and a chest. No windows. Nobody in there.
Considering the dust on the door and corridor, I really would had been surprised if there had been somebody in the room.
Even so I let out a relived sigh. No aliens was better than aliens wanting to eat my face. Still, this place really did not look alien.
Even disregarding the lack of high tech, it looked like something you could expect to find in a medieval castle.
Walking into the room I looked around. No, it looked exactly like it did a second ago. No writing on the walls, no large red buttons or glistering jewels.
The room just contained old furniture and nothing else.
Honestly, you would think exploring distant worlds would be more exciting. I mean, this could have been Earth for all I knew.
Actually, it could be Earth. But considering the portal once opened to somewhere with a red sun, I kind of doubted it.
How old was this Crystal Device? Was this some kind of proof that humans had spread through the galaxy far in the past?
Pushing that theory into the back of my mind for now, I crossed the room towards the chest as I knelt down to feel along the edges, giving the lid a small tug.
Locked.
Muttering a apology, I jammed one end of the crowbar in beneath the lid. If my archeology teacher saw this, she would have had my scalp.
But I only had enough thirty minutes and there was no way to say if I would ever find this world again so I didn't have time to try to fiddle a lock open. There was a lot more of structure to examine and I needed to get this open, check inside and then move on.
I put my weight on the crowbar and the lid snapped open with a groan of metal and snapping of wood.
Putting the crowbar down on the stone floor, I pushed the lid open and peaked inside.
Empty. Well, almost empty. Reaching in I picked up a bundle of cloth only to find that it contained something.
Closing the lid again I put the small bundle down and started to unwrap it. Ooh, nice find. It contained a piece of armor.
It was a pair of those forearm covers. Sure, it was a pretty simple looking pair and they were only made to cover the top of the forearm with a wide strip of metal attached with leather straps, but considering the condition of the rest of the room, the condition of the vambraces was pretty remarkable.
The metal was bronze like but it wasn't eroded or rusted or anything. If you replaced the leather straps, you could likely wear these into combat.
Wow, very nice find.
A loud crash behind me brought my out of my thoughts and I grabbed the crowbar as I span around, getting up, stumbling as the backpack almost caused me to lose my balance.
What was that?
Whatever it was, it killed my MALP. The light in the corridor is gone.
There was a scraping sound, slowly approaching as I squeezed the crowbar in my hands. Swallowing I forced myself to speak up.
Possible first contact. Don't screw this up!
"H-hello... I come in peace!"
Oh, great job there, Kirk.
I was saved from more snarky comments by my own brain as the source of those sounds shambled in through the open door.
The skeleton was wearing a torn and almost completely decayed set of leather armor, a sword in it's right hand, it's left arm was missing at the elbow.
It didn't do anything but start to shamble in my direction, raising it's sword slowly above it's head, so I did the only logical thing I could think of during those circumstances.
I screamed in terror.
AN// A bucket of thanks to macdjord for betaing this section.
It didn't take long to reach a corner and I stopped the remote control car to peak around it.
Great job, genius. You have a headlight on your head. I'm sure there would have been no way for anyone to see me, walking around with a ton of lights down a dark fucking tunnel.
Sadly, that thought didn't strike me until after I had already done it. Luckily, though, the tunnel was clear.
Nobody there, but there was a sturdy wooden door in the left wall about five meters further away.
Damn it, be more careful.
Think or you might get killed. Or worse, trapped.
Stepping around the corner again, I drove the RC car down it, following in it's track about five meters behind, driving it past the door.
When I reached the door though, I stopped to look over it.
It looked very solid and very old. A pair of heavy metal hinges on one side, black metal bars across it, holding the solid oak planks together. A big heavy handle.
The door looked like something that would had belonged on a very old and solidly built barn, if thicker looking.
Putting the remote control down on the floor, I checked my wrist watch timer. Five minutes passed, thirty five minutes left before I have to start back.
I pulled the crowbar from my belt to hold in my right hand as I reached out to start to slowly push the dusty door open.
While the design looked human enough, who knew what kind of aliens I could run into. Of course, the dust on the handle and in the corridor did point towards this place being long abandoned.
The door started to slowly creak open and I gave it a push before stepping back and taking cover against the wall.
The door hit the wall with a creak and a wooden thump and then there was silence other than my breathing.
I carefully peeked around the corner into the room. No use bothering with the headlight then, if they didn't notice the door opening, they wouldn't notice the light either.
The room was dusty, I could see barrels, a table and chairs, empty bookshelves and a chest. No windows. Nobody in there.
Considering the dust on the door and corridor, I really would had been surprised if there had been somebody in the room.
Even so I let out a relived sigh. No aliens was better than aliens wanting to eat my face. Still, this place really did not look alien.
Even disregarding the lack of high tech, it looked like something you could expect to find in a medieval castle.
Walking into the room I looked around. No, it looked exactly like it did a second ago. No writing on the walls, no large red buttons or glistering jewels.
The room just contained old furniture and nothing else.
Honestly, you would think exploring distant worlds would be more exciting. I mean, this could have been Earth for all I knew.
Actually, it could be Earth. But considering the portal once opened to somewhere with a red sun, I kind of doubted it.
How old was this Crystal Device? Was this some kind of proof that humans had spread through the galaxy far in the past?
Pushing that theory into the back of my mind for now, I crossed the room towards the chest as I knelt down to feel along the edges, giving the lid a small tug.
Locked.
Muttering a apology, I jammed one end of the crowbar in beneath the lid. If my archeology teacher saw this, she would have had my scalp.
But I only had enough thirty minutes and there was no way to say if I would ever find this world again so I didn't have time to try to fiddle a lock open. There was a lot more of structure to examine and I needed to get this open, check inside and then move on.
I put my weight on the crowbar and the lid snapped open with a groan of metal and snapping of wood.
Putting the crowbar down on the stone floor, I pushed the lid open and peaked inside.
Empty. Well, almost empty. Reaching in I picked up a bundle of cloth only to find that it contained something.
Closing the lid again I put the small bundle down and started to unwrap it. Ooh, nice find. It contained a piece of armor.
It was a pair of those forearm covers. Sure, it was a pretty simple looking pair and they were only made to cover the top of the forearm with a wide strip of metal attached with leather straps, but considering the condition of the rest of the room, the condition of the vambraces was pretty remarkable.
The metal was bronze like but it wasn't eroded or rusted or anything. If you replaced the leather straps, you could likely wear these into combat.
Wow, very nice find.
A loud crash behind me brought my out of my thoughts and I grabbed the crowbar as I span around, getting up, stumbling as the backpack almost caused me to lose my balance.
What was that?
Whatever it was, it killed my MALP. The light in the corridor is gone.
There was a scraping sound, slowly approaching as I squeezed the crowbar in my hands. Swallowing I forced myself to speak up.
Possible first contact. Don't screw this up!
"H-hello... I come in peace!"
Oh, great job there, Kirk.
I was saved from more snarky comments by my own brain as the source of those sounds shambled in through the open door.
The skeleton was wearing a torn and almost completely decayed set of leather armor, a sword in it's right hand, it's left arm was missing at the elbow.
It didn't do anything but start to shamble in my direction, raising it's sword slowly above it's head, so I did the only logical thing I could think of during those circumstances.
I screamed in terror.
AN// A bucket of thanks to macdjord for betaing this section.
... is this a munchkin crossover? Cause this seems like a muchkin crossover, though the order of monster and looting was swapped.
Retsof
I will keep you safe.
Quick question. Will you eventually meet someone that isn't trying to kill you (or can at least be talked out of it)? Because as fun as it would be watching you grind for loot, it's not much of a story without character interaction IMO.
(I ask because dont dungeon crawls tend to be solitary affairs?)
(I ask because dont dungeon crawls tend to be solitary affairs?)
It will. But not for a while.
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To bring: An aluminum baseball bat.
Or 3.
Or 3.
- Location
- The INTERNET!
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
Eh, heavy duty crowbar is better, does more damage, and it's more useful.
Baseball bats are optimized to be lightweight and easy to swing, so they can send a small ball faster. For caving in animated skulls, you want something with more heft and durability.
Baseball bats are optimized to be lightweight and easy to swing, so they can send a small ball faster. For caving in animated skulls, you want something with more heft and durability.
Lordhighalnder
Student, smarter than some.
- Location
- Long Beach, CA
...One of the older wooden ones? Harpoon gun? take a leaf out of JoergSprave's book, and build badass slingshots?
- Location
- The INTERNET!
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
Slingshots are pretty hardcore, at least the higher grade ones. Easy to get more ammo, and if runes of explosion are a thing in this setting....
Lordhighalnder
Student, smarter than some.
- Location
- Long Beach, CA
Magic. When all you need is a force multiplier, 'exploding runes' seems to work just fine.
Ursine
Concerned Citizen
- Location
- Home, Sweet Home
Honestly, when faced with a possible hostile environment, I would have been packing at least a slingshot, since it would take too long to get a firearm. Probably some molotov cocktails, and a couple of good axes/hatchets as well.
Actually, I do not know if you could get this in Sweden, but they make nailguns that fire using the equivalent gunpowder charge of a .22 round. Accurate range is low, and they are heavy, but they are essentially semi-automatic pistols, and I do not think they require a firearms permit.
Actually, I do not know if you could get this in Sweden, but they make nailguns that fire using the equivalent gunpowder charge of a .22 round. Accurate range is low, and they are heavy, but they are essentially semi-automatic pistols, and I do not think they require a firearms permit.
Lordhighalnder
Student, smarter than some.
- Location
- Long Beach, CA
A bit of duct tape and some pencils nets you a decent slingshot, as long as you get the rubber for it. Shouldn't be too difficult, especially if youre waiting for something else to come in. If you add in a few cherry bombs to your arsenal, or some colored smoke gernades, (A combination of sugar and potassium nitrate 2:3 ratio, with some baking soda to increase the reaction time.
Alternativly, just get a few pieces of tree-stump removing dynamite, for that 'look, a distraction!' moment
also, getting a few eggs, and filling them with glass shards, ghost chili oil, salt, or flower and ground up chili seeds, then wearing gloves and smashing it between your fingers before throwing the powder into the eyes of whatever attacks you so you can run. Thats if you cannot get any sort of OC spray or have to use indigenous stuff.
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Scrambling backwards away from the shambling terror my backpack hit the wall and I almost stumbled.
Shit!
Trying to get away I was suddenly jerked to a stop. My backpack had caught on something.
"Fuck!" I yelled and tugged, trying to untangle myself from the straps but the ropes draped across me and it were getting in the way, slowing me down.
I managed to just barely wriggle out of the shoulder straps and rope, ducking down as the skeleton slammed its sword against the stone wall just where my head had been a second before.
Crawling out of the way I rolled to the side, quickly scrambling beneath the table and out the other side.
By the time I was back on my feet and could get my eyes back on the horror again, the skeleton had started to shuffle in my direction again, slowly raising its sword once more.
Actually putting something solid between me and the scientific impossibility.
What in the actual undead shambling fuck!?
The skeleton ran into the table and started to shuffle along the edge to the right. It waved its wide short sword in my general direction, but it acted like it could barely lift the weapon.
What the hell was that thing?
I slowly moved to the right, mirroring the skeleton-like creature... no... the undead skeleton. Call it what it was.
It was a fucking necromantic horror. As in undead walking minion of evil.
It's bloody dead, just not dead enough!
What do I do? What do I do?
Calm yourself. It's just an undead skeleton.
...yeah, just an undead skeleton. Trying to kill me.
Stop. Calm. Think.
Yeah... have to think. I'm smarter than it. That's how you survive. Out-think it. First, a weapon.
Trying to keep from panicking, I kept the table between me and the shambling necromantic creation as I looked around for where I dropped my crowbar.
Rushing to grab it by the chest where I dropped it, I gripped it in both hands, facing the skeleton as it started to round the table, shambling in my direction.
Okay. Slow. Armed. I have better reach.
Come on... a little closer.
It started to raise its sword as it got closer and I stepped in, swinging hard with my crowbar, catching its sword mid blade, ripping it out of its hand and causing the blade to clatter across the stone floor before I took another step and swung again, just as hard and higher.
The undead creation didn't react as I swung at its skull, which shattered as if it was an old vase. When its skull was destroyed it simply collapsed in a pile of bones and old rotted armor.
Panting softly I slowly lowered my crowbar, staring at my former adversary.
I killed it... It's dead. Deader.
I think.
I gave the pile a poke with my crowbar, staying as far back as I could. It didn't move.
Okay. Stay calm, you can panic when you get away from here. Back at home.
Reality check: So not super technology. Magic wand portal wand thingy.
Okay then, let's change paradigm. I'm not an explorer of a fantasy dungeon. Stop thinking like one.
Closing my eyes for a moment I took a slow, deep breath before letting it out again. Time to start thinking like an adventurer and then get the hell out before you get your brain eaten by an Illithid.
Go by the Adventurers' motto:
Keep calm and loot the place.
Opening my eyes again I quickly snatched up the vambraces and put them on the table as I kept my head on a swivel, keeping a good look around as I moved to untangle the backpack from the torch holder it had caught on.
Stuffing the vambraces into it, I took another look around before quickly retrieving the sword of the skeleton.
It didn't look rusted or overly damaged so I grabbed that in my right hand as I put the crowbar in my belt before shrugging my backpack on.
I glanced back and then left the rope behind. It made it too hard to get out of the backpack and almost got me killed, I had to leave that behind.
Carefully I peeked out of the room, short sword in hand as I looked both ways down the corridor, listening.
No sounds... but I didn't hear that thing coming either.
Something glinted in the light of my headlight and I quickly moved to snatch up the malp camera before I turned and ran back the way I came.
I didn't stop before I was safe in my living room and could close the portal behind me.
AN// A couple of buckets of thanks to DonLyn for betaing this section.
Shit!
Trying to get away I was suddenly jerked to a stop. My backpack had caught on something.
"Fuck!" I yelled and tugged, trying to untangle myself from the straps but the ropes draped across me and it were getting in the way, slowing me down.
I managed to just barely wriggle out of the shoulder straps and rope, ducking down as the skeleton slammed its sword against the stone wall just where my head had been a second before.
Crawling out of the way I rolled to the side, quickly scrambling beneath the table and out the other side.
By the time I was back on my feet and could get my eyes back on the horror again, the skeleton had started to shuffle in my direction again, slowly raising its sword once more.
Actually putting something solid between me and the scientific impossibility.
What in the actual undead shambling fuck!?
The skeleton ran into the table and started to shuffle along the edge to the right. It waved its wide short sword in my general direction, but it acted like it could barely lift the weapon.
What the hell was that thing?
I slowly moved to the right, mirroring the skeleton-like creature... no... the undead skeleton. Call it what it was.
It was a fucking necromantic horror. As in undead walking minion of evil.
It's bloody dead, just not dead enough!
What do I do? What do I do?
Calm yourself. It's just an undead skeleton.
...yeah, just an undead skeleton. Trying to kill me.
Stop. Calm. Think.
Yeah... have to think. I'm smarter than it. That's how you survive. Out-think it. First, a weapon.
Trying to keep from panicking, I kept the table between me and the shambling necromantic creation as I looked around for where I dropped my crowbar.
Rushing to grab it by the chest where I dropped it, I gripped it in both hands, facing the skeleton as it started to round the table, shambling in my direction.
Okay. Slow. Armed. I have better reach.
Come on... a little closer.
It started to raise its sword as it got closer and I stepped in, swinging hard with my crowbar, catching its sword mid blade, ripping it out of its hand and causing the blade to clatter across the stone floor before I took another step and swung again, just as hard and higher.
The undead creation didn't react as I swung at its skull, which shattered as if it was an old vase. When its skull was destroyed it simply collapsed in a pile of bones and old rotted armor.
Panting softly I slowly lowered my crowbar, staring at my former adversary.
I killed it... It's dead. Deader.
I think.
I gave the pile a poke with my crowbar, staying as far back as I could. It didn't move.
Okay. Stay calm, you can panic when you get away from here. Back at home.
Reality check: So not super technology. Magic wand portal wand thingy.
Okay then, let's change paradigm. I'm not an explorer of a fantasy dungeon. Stop thinking like one.
Closing my eyes for a moment I took a slow, deep breath before letting it out again. Time to start thinking like an adventurer and then get the hell out before you get your brain eaten by an Illithid.
Go by the Adventurers' motto:
Keep calm and loot the place.
Opening my eyes again I quickly snatched up the vambraces and put them on the table as I kept my head on a swivel, keeping a good look around as I moved to untangle the backpack from the torch holder it had caught on.
Stuffing the vambraces into it, I took another look around before quickly retrieving the sword of the skeleton.
It didn't look rusted or overly damaged so I grabbed that in my right hand as I put the crowbar in my belt before shrugging my backpack on.
I glanced back and then left the rope behind. It made it too hard to get out of the backpack and almost got me killed, I had to leave that behind.
Carefully I peeked out of the room, short sword in hand as I looked both ways down the corridor, listening.
No sounds... but I didn't hear that thing coming either.
Something glinted in the light of my headlight and I quickly moved to snatch up the malp camera before I turned and ran back the way I came.
I didn't stop before I was safe in my living room and could close the portal behind me.
AN// A couple of buckets of thanks to DonLyn for betaing this section.
XelianEmperor
Fragile. Handle with care
It would be interesting if you start to get some gold and sell it then the govt would notice that gold prices are dropping and starts to investigate the SI. there would be a new facet of the story where you would have enemies not only in the dungeon fantasy world but the real world as well.
I know that seeing a skeleton would probably be fucking terrifying....but I couldn't resist.
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Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
He'd need to get a whole lot of gold for the prices to start dropping.
It's far more likely he'll be investigated by the local IRS equivalent.
So out of curiosity. Have you started contacting your union rep about your illegal job loss? Your union would love to get that kind of story going their way. A boss basically creating a condition to fire you would be quite the feather in their cap.
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I admit, I'm not a fighter. The last time I got into a fight was something like sixth grade.
Fuck, I'm not even all that brave.
So the fact that I had to fight an undead impossible fucking necromantic horror kind of bothered me a bit.
As in, as soon as I had the portal closed, I calmly and quietly freaked the hell out before collapsing into my bed to fall asleep once the adrenaline rush faded.
What followed was a couple of days spent watching the recordings from the cameras.
Honestly, when seen on the screen... shaky headcam or not... while still horrible in its implications, that shambling skeleton was nowhere near as scary as when I saw it in person.
It was slow and looked very clumsy.
The skeleton moved like a classic slow shambling zombie armed with a sword. Hell, the way it swung its weapon it looked like it was barely strong enough to lift it.
If I had been thinking clearly, I could likely have taken it even if I was unarmed, slow and weak as it seemed to be.
I could have sworn it looked faster and stronger in person.
Shock or illusion?
I was going with shock and surprise.
But the question was: what would I do next?
I sighed and let my head drop to rest my forehead against the table next to my teacup. What the hell do I do now?
Reality check: The Crystal Device opens a portal to some kind of fantasy realm with magic. For all I know it might open it to one of the actual DnD worlds.
And as sad as it might sound, the different realms of Dungeons and Dragons were actually some of the better options out there. At least those contained about equal amounts of good and evil beings.
What if the world it opened to was something like Diablo? Where the evil guys were evil, the neutral guys were evil and the good guys were dicks and/or evil.
But... didn't just the fact that it clearly opened to a world with magic make it even more important than if it had opened to alien worlds?
Because functional fucking magic. A completely new thing that, as the Crystal Device had shown, clearly worked on this world as well.
If I managed to learn it and get it here... fuck the Randi Prize, even though that would be nice. If we could bind fire elementals or something to use for heating water... hello unlimited bloody energy. Even if that didn't work, undead skeletons were clearly a thing.
Skeletons in a giant hamster wheel were also free energy. Even just that could save the world. That's not even going into other possible stuff like if you could figure out how the Crystal Device worked and could replicate it to use portals for transporting goods and people.
No more need for airplanes.
Hell, if there was no range issue it could give humanity... if not the stars, then the asteroids and planets of the sol system.
Raising my head I looked at the empty teacup. No... I simply couldn't stop. I had to continue, there was too much to gain.
All I could lose was were my mind, life and quite possibly soul if there was such a thing.
The possible gains, on the other hand, included things like, say, the stars and the continued long term survival of the human race. Not to mention what treasure I could find on the way.
I reached across the table to pick up the shortsword I had stolen from the dungeon. The leather around the handle was old and fragile, but that could be replaced, same as on the vambraces.
While the blade had some damage to it and some parts were slightly rusted it was still sharp. With the lack of a crossguard and the wide blade it actually looked more roman than classically medieval.
If I was doing this, I would need it. It was the closest thing I had to a usable weapon and not just a heavy piece of metal to clobber things with.
I had no idea how to actually use it, but it had to be better than a crowbar. I'll bring one of those too, but a smaller one.
In any case, I needed to rethink how to do this. Less exploring, more Adventurer smash and grab. Hell, if I could find enough gold, I might be able to hire a PMC or something to do it for me.
Leave the smashing and grabbing to the professionals.
But until then, I had to handle it on my own. I could ask my friends for help but... No, this was my risk to take.
I couldn't risk anyone else's life on this.
First of all, start going to the gym and sign up for martial arts classes. If I was doing this, I might as well learn to do it right. I need a gun too. A shotgun would seriously have ruined that skeleton's day.
Need to sign up for classes for a hunting license.
I nodded and put the sword back down. Even if I don't find any gold, I should be able to find other stuff like this sword to flog on ebay to pay for rent and food.
One month of practice and training so I don't get myself instantly killed, then we try again. Not enough to get the gun, but I can't wait the six months or so that would take, but I can at least get started on the process to get one while I work.
Armor. I need some armor as well. I also have to make sure that nothing escapes back through the portal either. Last thing we need is an Illithid skulking around the city.
Sigh... there goes a lot of cash. I better find something good soon.
AN// Many thanks to DonLyn for betaing this section.
Fuck, I'm not even all that brave.
So the fact that I had to fight an undead impossible fucking necromantic horror kind of bothered me a bit.
As in, as soon as I had the portal closed, I calmly and quietly freaked the hell out before collapsing into my bed to fall asleep once the adrenaline rush faded.
What followed was a couple of days spent watching the recordings from the cameras.
Honestly, when seen on the screen... shaky headcam or not... while still horrible in its implications, that shambling skeleton was nowhere near as scary as when I saw it in person.
It was slow and looked very clumsy.
The skeleton moved like a classic slow shambling zombie armed with a sword. Hell, the way it swung its weapon it looked like it was barely strong enough to lift it.
If I had been thinking clearly, I could likely have taken it even if I was unarmed, slow and weak as it seemed to be.
I could have sworn it looked faster and stronger in person.
Shock or illusion?
I was going with shock and surprise.
But the question was: what would I do next?
I sighed and let my head drop to rest my forehead against the table next to my teacup. What the hell do I do now?
Reality check: The Crystal Device opens a portal to some kind of fantasy realm with magic. For all I know it might open it to one of the actual DnD worlds.
And as sad as it might sound, the different realms of Dungeons and Dragons were actually some of the better options out there. At least those contained about equal amounts of good and evil beings.
What if the world it opened to was something like Diablo? Where the evil guys were evil, the neutral guys were evil and the good guys were dicks and/or evil.
But... didn't just the fact that it clearly opened to a world with magic make it even more important than if it had opened to alien worlds?
Because functional fucking magic. A completely new thing that, as the Crystal Device had shown, clearly worked on this world as well.
If I managed to learn it and get it here... fuck the Randi Prize, even though that would be nice. If we could bind fire elementals or something to use for heating water... hello unlimited bloody energy. Even if that didn't work, undead skeletons were clearly a thing.
Skeletons in a giant hamster wheel were also free energy. Even just that could save the world. That's not even going into other possible stuff like if you could figure out how the Crystal Device worked and could replicate it to use portals for transporting goods and people.
No more need for airplanes.
Hell, if there was no range issue it could give humanity... if not the stars, then the asteroids and planets of the sol system.
Raising my head I looked at the empty teacup. No... I simply couldn't stop. I had to continue, there was too much to gain.
All I could lose was were my mind, life and quite possibly soul if there was such a thing.
The possible gains, on the other hand, included things like, say, the stars and the continued long term survival of the human race. Not to mention what treasure I could find on the way.
I reached across the table to pick up the shortsword I had stolen from the dungeon. The leather around the handle was old and fragile, but that could be replaced, same as on the vambraces.
While the blade had some damage to it and some parts were slightly rusted it was still sharp. With the lack of a crossguard and the wide blade it actually looked more roman than classically medieval.
If I was doing this, I would need it. It was the closest thing I had to a usable weapon and not just a heavy piece of metal to clobber things with.
I had no idea how to actually use it, but it had to be better than a crowbar. I'll bring one of those too, but a smaller one.
In any case, I needed to rethink how to do this. Less exploring, more Adventurer smash and grab. Hell, if I could find enough gold, I might be able to hire a PMC or something to do it for me.
Leave the smashing and grabbing to the professionals.
But until then, I had to handle it on my own. I could ask my friends for help but... No, this was my risk to take.
I couldn't risk anyone else's life on this.
First of all, start going to the gym and sign up for martial arts classes. If I was doing this, I might as well learn to do it right. I need a gun too. A shotgun would seriously have ruined that skeleton's day.
Need to sign up for classes for a hunting license.
I nodded and put the sword back down. Even if I don't find any gold, I should be able to find other stuff like this sword to flog on ebay to pay for rent and food.
One month of practice and training so I don't get myself instantly killed, then we try again. Not enough to get the gun, but I can't wait the six months or so that would take, but I can at least get started on the process to get one while I work.
Armor. I need some armor as well. I also have to make sure that nothing escapes back through the portal either. Last thing we need is an Illithid skulking around the city.
Sigh... there goes a lot of cash. I better find something good soon.
AN// Many thanks to DonLyn for betaing this section.
