Dragon Harem Quest - Or: Saying You Were Gay Wasn't The Conversation-Ender You Hoped For

[Camellia]

[x] Accept his offer(?) to stay the night in the spooky empty mansion. You don't know what Issachar was talking about with this 'bedroom' business, you're going to sleep right here right now on all this money and there's nobody who can stop you.

Uwawawa. He's great. He's so great. I kinda want to see him show off and talk about all the work he did building the puzzles. But I'll settle for listening to him talk if that's not possible.

 

[Vindictus]

[X] Accept his offer(?) to stay the night in the spooky empty mansion. You don't know what Issachar was talking about with this 'bedroom' business, you're going to sleep right here right now on all this money and there's nobody who can stop you.

 

[LupineVolt]

[x] Accept his offer(?) to stay the night in the spooky empty mansion. You don't know what Issachar was talking about with this 'bedroom' business, you're going to sleep right here right now on all this money and there's nobody who can stop you.

Uwawawa. He's great. He's so great. I kinda want to see him show off and talk about all the work he did building the puzzles. But I'll settle for listening to him talk if that's not possible.

Click to shrink...

oh no, the vampire got to our bunny artist D:

 

[WanderingEye]

[X] Accept his offer(?) to stay the night in the spooky empty mansion. You don't know what Issachar was talking about with this 'bedroom' business, you're going to sleep right here right now on all this money and there's nobody who can stop you.

Starting to thing Issa is not really a potential lover but a chaperon- nay a babysitter.
Also the previous update made me realize that Eld must reconsider his career to become a Dungeon/Lair reviewer.

 

[Vaalintine]

[X] Accept his offer(?) to stay the night in the spooky empty mansion. You don't know what Issachar was talking about with this 'bedroom' business, you're going to sleep right here right now on all this money and there's nobody who can stop you.
-[X] Shift a whole bunch of it near Lyrros' coffin.

Gold gold gold goooooooold.

 

[greatoz]

"Oho," he says. "Willing and able."

"In all things," Issachar replies.

Click to shrink...

...Yeah, I'll ship it.

 

[Archeo Lumiere]

[X] Accept his offer(?) to stay the night in the spooky empty mansion. You don't know what Issachar was talking about with this 'bedroom' business, you're going to sleep right here right now on all this money and there's nobody who can stop you.

 

[karmaoa]

[X] Accept his offer(?) to stay the night in the spooky empty mansion. You don't know what Issachar was talking about with this 'bedroom' business, you're going to sleep right here right now on all this money and there's nobody who can stop you.

 

[Squirtodyle]

[X] Accept his offer(?) to stay the night in the spooky empty mansion. You don't know what Issachar was talking about with this 'bedroom' business, you're going to sleep right here right now on all this money and there's nobodywho can stop you.

Eldingar deserves this.

 

[Imrix]

Chapter Twenty-Eight: The Night's Symphony Is Elegant And Stylish But You Did Not Expect It To Contain This Many Fireballs

Click to shrink...

Well that bodes... poorly.

"This is really good," you say. "Very on-mood - did you compose this yourself?"

He tries to hide it but you know proud preening when you see it. He tilts his head back, gazing down his nose at you with a half-lidded look of amusement. "You have excellent taste, then. But flattery alone will not save you, no matter how well-deserved~"

Click to shrink...

Oh that's good, he needs to look like that more often. Especially in bed.

He starts stabbing you. He does not stop stabbing you. His arm literally blurs before your eyes and he keeps you aloft in the air with the sheer, relentless force of his unending flurry of thrusts. It's like lying on a mattress made of punches and pain. You're jostled and jarred this way and that, all five limbs dancing madly in the strange 'hurricane'.

"What-is-e-ven-hap-pen-ing-here!?" you exclaim in staccato.

Click to shrink...

... Air juggling. He's not only a theatre nerd - he's a Dante LARPer!

Boyfriend material or not you have half a mind to end this nice and quick with some full-power lightning to the thorax. You get as far as parting your jaws when-

your own breath hits the pile of gold and everything comes apart lightning flashes thunder booms in the confined space it goes up as if someone planted a bomb at the very heart of it every single piece goes flying off in a different direction gleaming golden shrapnel pelting your scaly hide like hailstones the jingle of coin and crown and jewels and precious magic items bouncing off the walls alone is enough to be earsplitting you just stand there frozen solid wide-eyed unable to breathe as your precious hoard is spread across every inch of your lair coins rolling into every nook and cranny and the heart of it all the clump that took your breath directly a sad steaming slagged pile of half-molten gold
​

-you think better of it for a lot of reasons.

Click to shrink...

Oooh, trauma's a bastard, ain't it?

Straight into the side of the coffin. The thick stone cracks and crumbles and you fall headfirst into it, horned head flopping down on the mattress-thick leather padding along the bottom. You roll over, blinking blearily - that's weird, why are there four people fighting now? You didn't know Issachar had a friend. And the other guy too. You really want to lie down. Your head hurts and you're tired. There's even lots of gold around here too, perfect place for nap.

Click to shrink...

I love you, you big blue dumbass.

But then, all of a sudden, he relaxes. He rakes his gloved claws through his long, silky locks in one slow, luxuriant, self-indulgent motion, complete with a brisk flick to fan out the ends. Clearly feeling much better about himself now he whirls around, his cape billowing out to accentuate the motion as he dramatically points at the pair of you.

Click to shrink...

Oh no, he's mastered the hair flip.

"If we beat you does that mean we get all this money?" you ask.

"Of course," he replies. "Consider it the bet I placed on myself to succeed."

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay."

Click to shrink...

!

Hurrah! Shinies for Eldingar, everything is good now!

Lyrros whirls away from you both, drawing his cape across his body with an elegant flick of his wrist. "You may go where you wish and do as you please within these walls," he says imperiously. "Filled with ghosts and memories they may be, none will dare harm you while I walk these halls."

"... A simple 'yes' would have sufficed-" Issachar starts.

"Begone with you!" Lyrros declares over the top of him, throwing his cape back over his shoulder with a clothy flap and flutter. "Whether to home or to bed!"

Click to shrink...

Calling it, he's flustered, probably blushing and doesn't want anyone to see.

In which Eldingar is mercilessly pounded by a handsome vampire.

Click to shrink...

Ohhhh my~
You forgot the part where double team the handsome vampire.
Sweeping the vamp off his feet and giving him a pounding.

Click to shrink...

[X] Accept his offer(?) to stay the night in the spooky empty mansion. You don't know what Issachar was talking about with this 'bedroom' business, you're going to sleep right here right now on all this money and there's nobody who can stop you.

We are never leaving this gold. Plus this way Lyrros gets to talk more, and he learns what draconic priorities are.

 

[keenscythe]

[x] Accept his offer(?) to stay the night in the spooky empty mansion. You don't know what Issachar was talking about with this 'bedroom' business, you're going to sleep right here right now on all this money and there's nobody who can stop you.

 

[Guessmyname]

"Yes!" he declares. "In this moment I, Lyrros, concede that the two of you have bested me! By right of combat I forfeit claim to this crypt!"

Click to shrink...

...Huh. Lyrros?

I just went back to scan the past few updates to see if that came up anywhere and nope, the only Douglas family member fully named is the patriarch Éamon. Douglas, Eamon etc sounds fairly Celtic, Lyrros I admittedly am less good at identifying (and so is Google) but I think maybe Greek? Or there abouts? They sound from two places far apart, is what I'm saying.

Or put another way, Lyrros Douglas doesn't quite roll off the tongue, does it?

Edit: closest match google I've found is Macedonian, assuming it isn't just a made up name and I'm grasping at straws

Lyrros slowly, slowly, sloooooowly swings his gaze over to look at you. Lying amid the rubble of his stone-sided bed. You bare your fangs in a smile and wave. You feel confident you made a good impression.

Click to shrink...

I-

I'm-

E-Eldingar, never change.

[X] Accept his offer(?) to stay the night in the spooky empty mansion. You don't know what Issachar was talking about with this 'bedroom' business, you're going to sleep right here right now on all this money and there's nobody who can stop you.

Naturally. And hey, we stayed with Abzu with even less 'we can't get back because concussions'-related reasons, so denying his hospitality now would just be rude...

 

[Zavvnao]

Honestly the way he so easily parted with the Douglas fortune is sort of interesting. It doesn't seem like he has any particularly strong attachment to the legacy and per Castlevania Alucard is some weird half-vampire hybrid thing and...hrm. Eamon (I think that's right) was the last surviving Douglas as per the dining room table and the puzzles around the house were by and large telling something of a story. About the decline of the family's fortunes, how they dwindled down one by one (largely in relation to blood stuff).

So where did Lyrros come from?

Click to shrink...

You are saying he is a Dhampir? Those are half vampire.

[X] Accept his offer(?) to stay the night in the spooky empty mansion. You don't know what Issachar was talking about with this 'bedroom' business, you're going to sleep right here right now on all this money and there's nobody who can stop you.

I hope it is magic gold that snuggles in around Eldingar, but normal gold is just as good.

 

[Salty]

[X] Accept his offer(?) to stay the night in the spooky empty mansion. You don't know what Issachar was talking about with this 'bedroom' business, you're going to sleep right here right now on all this money and there's nobody who can stop you.

I'm sad I'm not the first one to get to this updoot, but very happy because this is a good updoot and Lyrros is so Goddamn CastleVania it hurts. Extra points for future reveals of bat/wolf/gigantic bat demon transformation powers.

In the meantime, Eldy learns to channel his trauma into good decision making, finds out he absolutely sucks at frontlining, and figures out that Trip is a much better Combat Maneuver than Bull Rush.

 

[Lizard Knight]

I think Eldingars
...
Racooness is throwing Everyone around him off.
With a Dragon you expect a massive murder beast.
Instead Eldingar is a shut in derp that loves puzzels but refuses to become a dungeon boss Because He just wants to lie around.
However the big Blue baby is very lovable through all his faults and can grow, Which attracts the love interrests I think.
Eldingar is like a gaint, gold obessed, lightning eating puppy.
Or kitten
Or baby Racoon

 

[Salty]

Eldingar is like a gaint, gold obessed, lightning eating puppy.
Or kitten
Or baby Racoon

Click to shrink...

one of these things is not like the others

one of these things will give you fucking rabies

 

[Lizard Knight]

one of these things is not like the others

one of these things will give you fucking rabies

Click to shrink...

Wel Then, I seems our Harem has a 1/3 chance to get Rabies
From Eldingar
The baby lightning Racoon

 

[Guessmyname]

Wel Then, I seems our Harem has a 1/3 chance to get Rabies
From Eldingar
The baby lightning Racoon

Click to shrink...

at least he's thweatening now

 

[Lizard Knight]

at least he's thweatening now

Click to shrink...

Not even that
Healing Magic
Or Alchemy Vaccines
Or dear blue baby wel never be thweatening
But that is because he is a lovely little bab
our lovely blue baby

 

[Vindictus]

Well that bodes... poorly.
Oh that's good, he needs to look like that more often. Especially in bed.
... Air juggling. He's not only a theatre nerd - he's a Dante LARPer!
Oooh, trauma's a bastard, ain't it?
I love you, you big blue dumbass.
Oh no, he's mastered the hair flip.
!

Hurrah! Shinies for Eldingar, everything is good now!
Calling it, he's flustered, probably blushing and doesn't want anyone to see.




[X] Accept his offer(?) to stay the night in the spooky empty mansion. You don't know what Issachar was talking about with this 'bedroom' business, you're going to sleep right here right now on all this money and there's nobody who can stop you.

We are never leaving this gold. Plus this way Lyrros gets to talk more, and he learns what draconic priorities are.

Click to shrink...

What are all these Racoon comics from, anyway?

 

[OctarineShrike]

What are all these Racoon comics from, anyway?

Click to shrink...

cooncomic.com

 

[Who?]

He tries to hide it but you know proud preening when you see it. He tilts his head back, gazing down his nose at you with a half-lidded look of amusement. "You have excellent taste, then. But flattery alone will not save you, no matter how well-deserved~"

Click to shrink...

Cute. Not a blush, but I am going to take it.

One moment you're blinking at a red-rimmed shadow of the man where he used to be, the next you hear a whumpf of air being displaced behind you, and then a loud clang as he swipes his sword across your spine. It doesn't break your scales, of course not, even most magical blades can't do that, but boy does it hurt all the same with the strength he puts behind it. You're knocked off your feet and sent hurtling forward with a cry of confusion.

Click to shrink...

Straight up Castlevania dashes. Man, but Lyrros has so much style.

The man takes a deep, theatrical bow, flourishing his extended rapier as he straightens back up. A heartbeat later and he's gone, vanished into afterimages as he goes skating around the edges of the room to appear behind Issachar. The so-called humble farmer swings his stolen mace around behind his head without even looking, deflecting the imminent slash with a keening clang. The man retraces his steps in the same fashion, reappearing before Issachar.

Click to shrink...

H-holy shit. That's amazing. Bet Issachar's expression didn't even change. Angel, huh?

Instead you divert the power down lesser channels and let it erupt from your hand instead, aiming a more precise bolt at the exceedingly pretty coffin-sleeper the moment he disengages from Issachar. He senses it early and whirls, parrying the bolt aside with a sweep of his blade - but it leaves him open, and Issachar capitalises.

Click to shrink...

Smack goes your tail against his ankles from behind, and it must be like getting tripped by a hellish combo of a whip, a flail and an entire thrown crocodile because it knocks his legs out from under him so violently he practically goes horizontal in mind-air before he hits the ground, hard.

Click to shrink...

"What kind of dragon takes levels in Rogue?"

"One who's helping his boyfriend kick your ass."

"If we beat you does that mean we get all this money?" you ask.

"Of course," he replies. "Consider it the bet I placed on myself to succeed."

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay."

Click to shrink...

Eldingar's day has dramatically improved - fun puzzles, incredibly sexy vampire, and a bunch of cold hard cash. Frankly, even considering that said vampire juggled him like it was fighting game tournament, still pretty great.

Lyrros whirls away from you both, drawing his cape across his body with an elegant flick of his wrist. "You may go where you wish and do as you please within these walls," he says imperiously. "Filled with ghosts and memories they may be, none will dare harm you while I walk these halls."

Click to shrink...

"Welcome to my house. Come freely. Go safely; and leave something of the happiness you bring!"

Click to shrink...

"... A simple 'yes' would have sufficed-" Issachar starts.

"Begone with you!" Lyrros declares over the top of him, throwing his cape back over his shoulder with a clothy flap and flutter. "Whether to home or to bed!"

Click to shrink...

The instant Issachar tries to convince Lyrros to stop being some dramatic, Lyrros tells him to fuck off. Just registering this because it's probably a good bit of character interaction to remember.

Also something to note - vampires were traditionally said to have pointed ears:

His face was a strong—a very strong—aquiline, with high bridge of the thin nose and peculiarly arched nostrils; with lofty domed forehead, and hair growing scantily round the temples but profusely elsewhere. His eyebrows were very massive, almost meeting over the nose, and with bushy hair that seemed to curl in its own profusion. The mouth, so far as I could see it under the heavy moustache, was fixed and rather cruel-looking, with peculiarly sharp white teeth; these protruded over the lips, whose remarkable ruddiness showed astonishing vitality in a man of his years. For the rest, his ears were pale, and at the tops extremely pointed; the chin was broad and strong, and the cheeks firm though thin. The general effect was one of extraordinary pallor.

Click to shrink...

So he might not actually be an elf, but a human turned into a vampire?

 

[Vindictus]

"What kind of dragon takes levels in Rogue?"

Click to shrink...

I can't wait for Eldingar to level up and become a Gentleman Thief.

It'll probably take like 1000 years, but hey, he's a dragon. He has time.

 

[Salty]

Recall how the Douglas family has all their causes of death to do with blood?

It might be the case that Lyrros is not part of the Douglas family, but that he was their curse.

 

[Glassware]

Honestly the way he so easily parted with the Douglas fortune is sort of interesting. It doesn't seem like he has any particularly strong attachment to the legacy and per Castlevania Alucard is some weird half-vampire hybrid thing and...hrm. Eamon (I think that's right) was the last surviving Douglas as per the dining room table and the puzzles around the house were by and large telling something of a story. About the decline of the family's fortunes, how they dwindled down one by one (largely in relation to blood stuff).

So where did Lyrros come from?

Click to shrink...

I figure vampires are like hermit crabs, you leave an ancient estate with a tragic backstory lying around unclaimed and before you know it a vampire's set up in the basement and installed some fog-generators.