68 – Some Kind Of Psychic?
68 – Some Kind Of Psychic?
She was…Yuriko.

That was it.

No, that wasn't right.

She was...Yuriko-13.

That had been her name for as long as she had lived...which wasn't actually very long. She had been grown full to term to the precise age of Yuriko-Prime. She wasn't supposed to know that either but after spending more than three months fighting at the speartip of numerous Imperial assaults upon the western barbarians and cretins who infested the world had allowed some telepathic bleed through. There were none in the entire Army that could shield their mind from her if she truly desired knowledge. Not that she would ever go that far, as ripping out the knowledge from the minds of her imposed comrades was never a simple or easy to disguise sight.

There were whispers of thought from more senior soldiers when they passed by her spartan quarters, from when she floated across the battlefield and unleashed her powers to bring death to the enemy. Shades of fear and worry as they thought of others of her kind. The original was somewhere further to the west, fighting against the Allies and Soviets directly right on the quite literally bleeding edge of the war. Others had fought as well with herself included but some had also died. Some had been unstable. Some were not. Some of the clones had tried to leave, explore, 'discover' themselves only to be taken down and returned to the Shiro Sanitarium.
It was thought – heh – by some that those clones and others were to be used in something new. A weapon that had not yet been completed but would eventually prove to be yet another trump card in the ongoing war. She didn't think about those sorts of things however. She didn't allow herself to. None of them wanted to go back to the Sanitarium. Even if they were produced to be expendable she did not like the idea of being…expended.

So.

Here she stood guard, floating almost a foot off the ground but with her eyes on the horizon, miles and miles away from the nearest fighting.

Deep within the Soviet's homeland.

Was it Vladivostok or Vorkuta? She did not know, and no one had seen fit to tell her. Either way it was cold enough to make her shiver near constantly.

With her powers she kept the constant snow fall from actually touching her but even so she could not push away the cold entirely. How these Soviets managed to not just fight but live in this terrible land was entirely beyond her. Behind her the patrolling soldiers did their best to suppress their inherent and yet nevertheless disgusting desires as they passed by her. The fact that she had to expend just that little more of her powers to keep her skirt from flying upwards as a natural result of her keeping herself off of the ice and snow was yet another notch of irritation in a slowly growing belt.

None of them joined her.

None of them spoke to her, ever.

The only conversations she'd ever held were responding to the orders of her commanders.

Screaming at the enemy in fury and hearing them scream in pain and fear in turn didn't really count in her mind.

"Wow. What a dour expression."

Yuriko-13 blinked.

"Sure, Vorkuta isn't a super great posting, but at least you aren't getting shot at, right?"

She whirled to look at the man who stood there with a steaming mug in hand. It was an incongruous sight. Despite the snow being piled up so high there was all of a sudden a small area around him, this man who wore clothes entirely not meant for this sort of climate. A raggedy pink bathrobe? An oversized logo-less black t-shirt? Pajama pants? All of this together would have been impossible enough but then she finished looking down at him and couldn't help but stare at what she saw.

"What are those?"

Those were flip flops. Sandals? One of the two. But inside of that pair of flip flops were socks, with the man's feet presumably inside them. In fact, at her question, he slowly wriggles his toes and rolled back and forth on his feet.

His reaction of course was not at all what she expected. His eyes bugged out slightly and his mouth pursed.

"Pfft…hah. Nice. I didn't even know that was…oh," his expression turned puzzled. "You weren't doing a bit."

"I don't…wait a minute."

The confusion had been an effective fog upon her but it could not last forever. She was a psychic, and so her powers flared as she glared at the man who had somehow managed to approach without her even catching a hint of his presence. Without a hint. That was supposed to be impossible. Any properly gestated Yuriko should have been able to detect anyone coming up behind them regardless of the technology itself guarding them. Optic camouflage could not possibly camouflage one's mind. But he had somehow come up without her noticing him.

"Wait," he raised a hand in surrender, "I'm not gonna attack you."

"Who are you," she growled, her eyes narrowing as in one hand she began gathering together enough power to tear him apart.

At her words his face twisted, a brief flicker of emotions that she could not catch all of. At least one of them was…sorrow?

"I'm uh…," he looked down at himself and then back at her before shrugging. "I'm The Guy."

"The…Guy?"

"Yeah. The Guy. Sort of like The Dude?"

She blinked again.

This time he sighed.

"Right. Major cultural divergence. Ugh. It's…1986. The Soviets did their thing in…1927. Man you guys don't have any of my stuff."

"I don't understand," and even if she didn't she was starting to grow irritated.

She was staring right at him and she couldn't feel his mind! It was infuriating! Only her fellow clones could block off their minds, there wasn't a single male psionic in the entire Empire! It was like staring at a machine, and even then shouldn't she have been able to-

Yuriko whirled again and froze at the sight of the Imperial Warriors who were still there behind her.

That she couldn't feel anymore.

But they weren't moving either. Behind them, in the distance, a shinobi was still mid-run along the roads, and she couldn't feel their mind either. Or that of any of the other soldiers at the base!

"Hey," said The Guy, "I know that you might be a little freaked out about them being all…well, like that. But that's not why I came by."

For the first moment since she'd seen him there was a flicker of uncertainty in her. It was like time itself had frozen. How long had it been like that?

"Yeah, anyway, you looked like…really cold, man. You know what with the whole skirt and non-winter jacket?"

She stared at him again, trying this time not to summon telekinetic power but instead to pierce his mind. To at least feel him on some level at all! But all she got was a vague skeleton in all the vaguely human places. Things that shifted and pulsed beneath his skin that were about in the same places as organs. Except…for the strange thing in the center of his torso. Just focusing on it made her head hurt and buzzed her ears with static.

A sigh brought her out of it.

"All right, seriously, look. This is…taking way longer than I expected it too and I kinda want to get back to my place. Here," he proffered the mug.

She stared at it, then at him, and then back to the mug.

"It's just hot chocolate, Yuriko, seriously. You looked cold and I have some," he waved his free hand absentmindedly, "I dunno…sympathy? Yeah. For the whole situation regarding you and uh…the first you."

"Who are you?"

"I'm just The Guy. And yeah, I stopped time itself to give you a mug of hot chocolate because you looked cold."

The trickle of uncertainty began to grow in strength along with fear.

"You…you stopped time?!"

It made no sense. It shouldn't have made any sense. It was horrifying to even contemplate that someone who dressed and acted like this would have even a modicum of power over time itself!

"Yuriko," he snapped his fingers, "Seriously. You're making this weird. Stop making this weird. Take the hot chocolate. Drink its goodness, and then get ready for a big ol' fight because Moskvin is coming at you full steam in abouuut," he checked a naked wrist, "Now."

Now she was confused, cold, irritated, scared, and mad. Her instincts flared but even as she began scanning for the cloudy and foolish minds of the West she could not detect them. Only a few seconds later did she realize that she apparently couldn't sense anyone while in this strange bubble of non-frozen time that The Guy could make on a whim.

"Seriously, look, it's one of the missiles from one of his dreadnoughts," The Guy pointed up towards some tiny dot in the sky that she squinted at. "Now c'mon, you're making me feel like the 'Eat All The Eggs' guy."

She turned back, her hands clenched into fists as she warred between moving against the enemy, informed her commanders who she couldn't and attacking The Guy for showing up out of nowhere and just being…just being! He waggled the mug at her and she, glaring at him all the while, took it and drank it down. It's not like she wanted something warm or anything, she was just taking it so that he would stop bother her and let her get back to fulfilling her purpose!

…oh that was warm.

"Yeah, see? Now you're all warm and raring to go and fight the Soviets," his tone was wry. "I mean, I'm pretty sure you'll lose. This is a tiny little base – symbolic, obviously, as one of the first incursions against the whole Union ordered by George himself, but it's also just one base. Moskvin is one sadistic fuck sure but he's got some tactical skill and a lot of numbers on his side her."

"You're not going to help?!"

The Guy blinked at her words.

"Uh. No? I'm half Asian…ish…but that doesn't make me loyal to the Empire of the Rising Sun."

"Then…then you…," she sputtered, waving a hand at the apparent dreadnought missile in the distant sky, "Why…why are you here!?"

The Guy shrugged.

"Honestly? I don't really know. I'm mostly just…moving around on impulse and inertia. Only reason I came by is because I wanted to."

"You…but….urgh!"

She gave up on it and out of her mounting frustration flung a full wave of force against him. Not enough to outright flatten and pulp but at least enough to just send him flying! Except he didn't.

Instead the moment she let loose he flickered slightly and disappeared.

"Ah c'mon, don't be like that."

Yuriko-13 shrieked in a manner that she had never ever done since coming out of the pods as The Guy's voice echoed from behind her. She turned on him only to see him standing there with a single raised eyebrow and the mug gone into the ether.

"How-,"

"I just said I'm controlling time in this immediate area. Did you not think I can't move around in it how I want?"

He waggled a finger at her.

"I did nothing to provoke you, and you tried to smack me around with your brain. Not cool."

If she had not been trained by the finest psionic experts in the world, she would be tearing her hair out right now in a blatant display of unprofessionalism.

"Who are you!?"

She did not scream. She yelled. Powerfully. Like a soldier.

"I'm just The Guy," he shrugged again. "I was planning on saying, 'Hey Yuriko-13, according to the files of your commanders you've been underperforming and were slated for eventual return to the Sanitarium for integration into the ongoing Decimator project, you want a free of charge rescue?' but noo you had to be all weird."

The fury guttered out at his words and her control slipped enough for her feet to once more touch the ground.

"W-what?"

The Guy winced.

"Ah fuck. Man I suck at this. Fuck, one second I'm a troll, the next an asshole. Ugh."

Yuriko fell to her knees, uncaring of the cold now seeping into her bare legs.

"But…," then the anger returned and she flew upwards again. "You're lying," her voice trembled with anger.

A thick folder was waggled in her direction.

"Nope. I've got papers and electronic documentation to prove it."

She grabbed them before he even finished speaking. As she started reading, she could feel her resolve weakening. Too much hesitation? Not enough viciousness shown to enemy combatants? Soft?! None of that really hurt her though so much as the final conclusion.

"Overall unsatisfactory performance, recommend transferal to Decimator project," she read aloud, her voice wavering.

"Oh he's totally covering his ass, mind you," The Guy said from above her. She'd fallen to her knees again without noticing.

For some reason when she looked up at him the whole world was watery.

"He would have been fine under Keiji, but under Shinzo? The Serious Shogun of Serious Samurai? Nope. Got busted to a crap post, again and again, and tactically kind of just isn't great. So he's trying to blame it on the 'defective' psychic commando he got assigned."

"But…but I…"

"Tatsu is a brutal son of a bitch," The Guy shrugged. "He's got hundreds of clones being pumped out of the Institute's facilities. They can, and I apologize for the language, afford to replace you."

"I…I am a loyal servant to the Empire!"

The Guy leaned down, and offered her a handkerchief of some kind. She didn't know why, just because the world was all blurry now didn't…didn't mean…

She was not crying!

"Yeah. I hear you. Problem is, he already sent the forms off. So you're…kinda supposed to be decommissioned?"

"What," she grabbed the rag he offered and wiped it over her eyes, if only to clear them of whatever substance had gotten caught in them, "What is the Decimator project?"

"If you're going for a 'well at least I can still serve the Empire thing' I guarantee you're not going to like it."

"What is it," she insisted.

"You, and about a dozen or so of your fellow clones, are gonna be stuck in some pods. Sort of lobotomized, and then used to make big explosive blasts a la sort of psychic nuke."

Apparently the horror was more than evident on her face because The Guy frowned and offered her another mug that was mysteriously full of hot chocolate again.

"…you know what? I should have stayed in the ship. Just…let the conflict play out without my interference. I'm just fucking it all up again," he sighed as she took the cup and drank it down.

"Yes, you are," she said. She didn't actually know what he meant by the 'again' part but he certainly hadn't done perfectly in this event either.

"…yeah."

The two of them sat like that in the frozen time for just a moment longer before she looked up again, sniffling. It was all the snows fault. On that note she lifted off again, if only to keep from sitting in it any longer.

"You…you could be lying," she decided.

"You can check the commander," he pointed out, gesturing with the mug towards where the commander's compound was. "He's not a Shogun, all of them are in Europe or guarding Japan itself. He's pretty weak willed. If you wanted to check, you could."

"I can't use my powers in your frozen time," she said through gritted teeth.

"We can move through it, if I'm the one controlling it. C'mon."

For a moment she contemplated trying to hit him again, before she looked at the soldiers who always looked at her in fear and lust, then up at the missile in the sky.

Then she followed him.

The Guy made his way through the base and as she floated along behind him she stared at all those stopped mid-motion. Even tanks and the repair drones of the Mecha Bay! But there was no time to dawdle and she didn't want to find out if she would freeze alongside everyone else if she was too far away from The Guy. It was only a few moments later when they reached the commander's quarters. She'd never even learned his name. Only his rank and that was – according to her training – enough.

"Hey there sleepy head!"

Yuriko looked up in time to see The Guy kicking down the metal reinforced door with a single kick, only for the nature of the warping time around him to come into effect with the door pausing in its fall immediately after leaving the frame. With one hand The Guy grabbed it and placed it to the side and gestured for her to come in. What she saw was…disappointing?

This was her commander? By the divine order of the Emperor?

"Junichi Ikari. Or…Ikari Junichi? Eh," the Guy pointed at him. "That's him. Sleeping, despite the fact that the Soviet attack fleet has been coming on for an hour. Lax, lazy dude. Anyway, all you really need to do is check his brain, I guess. Or look at his diaries and stuff."

"I already told you I can't use my powers where you've frozen time," she growled.

"I'll shrink it down, let you check his stuff, and then when you're ready you can check him yourself."

Despite herself, she almost felt a premonition then. Reading the future was not actually an ability that any of the Yuriko's possessed, but Yuriko-13 investigated nevertheless. A strange trembling built in her all the while. The suddenness of everything, the shock of it all, it was beginning to set in and grow worse as she checked for Commander Ikari's journals. His notes. All of which confirmed The Guy's words. Her anger built as well until finally she turned to where The Guy was spinning around in the commander's chair.

"I'm ready."

"M'kay."

Within an instant she could suddenly feel someone else's mind nearby. Only one. Apparently he hadn't removed the frozen time from the rest of the base. But this one was all she needed right now. He was slumbering…but he wouldn't be for long. Yuriko let the anger build to a fever pitch, providing a focus and energy she would need. She was not nearly as strong as Yuriko-Prime, but she was powerful enough. She was more than powerful enough! She had served loyally; she didn't deserve decommissioning! That she would be so some lazy bastard could…ugh!
"Mmm, lady Shogun, there's no need to thank me like that..," the bastard mumbled in his sleep.

Yuriko didn't yell. She didn't need to. Loose papers and objects in the room whirled around her as she glared down at the bed's occupant. The Guy's sudden 'woah now' as he too was carried around on the chair he had been sitting on was ignored. Only for an instant to Junichi manage to awaken before Yuriko-13 put her hands on his head with a hiss. The commander screamed…and his memories burned into her own as she tore them out. It only took a few seconds but it was enough.

The Guy caught her as she stumbled backwards from the corpse in the bed, tears filling her eyes.

"He…he…and they…"

"Yeah. I know. I know. Fuck I'm bad at this."

"I…I don't want to die…"

"Few people do. Anyway, I…think I should go."

Yuriko sniffed, and used his handkerchief to wipe her eyes and nose again before turning around and shoving it into his hand. He looked apologetic, but he just thought he could leave? After dropping on her and…and all of this?!

"You said you could take me out of here, right?"

"Uh…yeah, I guess."

"I…we will lose against the Soviets here?"

"Barring a sudden teleportation of a huge amount of reinforcements, yeah. Also you kind of…like, killed your commander. That's pretty bad too."

Yuriko-13 blinked, and then shook her head.

"I don't care. I want to live. I'll figure out what to do next later. If…if the Empire won't have me, and the Soviets will kill me, then I want out of here!"

The Guy clenched his hand and the mug disappeared from his hands in a flicker of light. His eyes narrowed and for once there wasn't a lazy half smile or sheepish frown on his face.

"You sure?"

Yuriko thought for a moment. She was being rash. Maybe the Empire wouldn't hunt her down and stuff her into a machine that would cut out part of her brain. Maybe they could beat the Soviets here and she could blame the commander's death on them. Maybe…but then again, maybe not. She'd read the papers. The response from Tokyo that The Guy had brought. The memories she'd just torn out of Junichi's head. She was being rash. But she was also angry and terrified.

…she could let it all sink in later, when she was in a safer place.

"Yes."

The Guy shrugged.

"Ok. Fair warning, after this I'm going to go steal a cow from Texas, we'll have to deal with any freakouts you might be having later."

Yuriko…she didn't even know how to react to that statement.

"Ahhhhh don't look at me like that. There's no super Japanese beef in this universe, I gotta make do with good old American stock."

Light surrounded them but she still caught his last words before her world was pulled out from under her.

"It's only gonna be one cow! How else can I figure out how to make the perfect steak if not with practice!?"
 
Last edited:
Seriously, if I want a burger, I have to consider my current desire for beef.

Do I want something pretty with weird toppings? I get an Asian boutique burger.

Do I want something bound to be overly expensive with a fancy name to espouse its deliciousness? I get a European style.

And if I want something quick, tasty and not have to spend ten minutes deciphering the menu?

Good ol' American burgers at any random ass hole in the wall.

True, unless we're talking cars.
AFTER the 80s.

Because American Muscle and Classics were the shit.

Still are.

I'd rather drive a 70s Camaro over some overpriced Rolls Royce or Mercedez-Benz
 
True, unless we're talking cars.
Well American cars used to be great.
"Ok. Fair warning, after this I'm going to go steal a cow from Texas, we'll have to deal with any freakouts you might be having later."

Yuriko…she didn't even know how to react to that statement.

"Ahhhhh don't look at me like that. There's no super Japanese beef in this universe, I gotta make do with good old American stock."

Light surrounded them but she still caught his last words before her world was pulled out from under her.

"It's only gonna be one cow! How else can I figure out how to make the perfect steak if not with practice!?"
Man has his priorities straight!:D

Hope Guy and Yuriko-13 can bond with each other in general over not wanting to deal with other peoples' shit.
 
And the old commander just got himself a magical girl.

Why don't you go and get a ship girl as well while you are at it?

And a tank girl... And a witch girl... And a robot girl...:p
 
That's...not really what he was going for.

I'm serious, tho.

The Guy, and how I'm writing this specific incarnation of The Network, runs largely on impulse because he's been so badly worn out from war, leading, etc. etc. to the point that he's gone full on slacker and what not.

Which means I sat down to write this about two hours or so ago, and thought - what is he gonna do? - and then took that random thought and put it onto Word.

The other scenario was going to be him wandering around in Tibet to see if he could learn some martial arts or something.
 
The Guy, and how I'm writing this specific incarnation of The Network, runs largely on impulse because he's been so badly worn out from war, leading, etc. etc. to the point that he's gone full on slacker and what not.

Which means I sat down to write this about two hours or so ago, and thought - what is he gonna do? - and then took that random thought and put it onto Word.

The other scenario was going to be him wandering around in Tibet to see if he could learn some martial arts or something.
Very interesting.

Wonder what the Guys' next move will be in general and if Yuriko will partly influence his impulses or not.

Did the guy ever think about visiting a spa or something to simply relax?
 
A spa somewhere in North America

Attendant, "I'm sorry miss, but I'm having the strangest deja vu. I think I've seen you somewhere, maybe on TV?"
Yuriko, ". . ."
SI, Waves hand "No you haven't this women before."
Attendant, glazed eyes "I haven't seen this women before."

I'm sure he has some sort of Jedi Force like manipulation trick.
 
I really do approve of this way of handling stress. Saving a cute girl with hot chocolate, trolling and a warning about the lined up backstab & planned lobotomization? Yeah. It should work. NO idea where it will go from there - but who cares? And I don't think Yuriko would really have a problem with someone stealing american stuff to train in cooking. Besides, now he has someone to help taste check the results!

Hmm. Would 'The Guy' be enough of a troll to put up screens in with everything going on over the globe, including different leaders 'dirty laundry' while grilling?

I think yes.
 
Yesss... The Tsun is strong in this one. You missed out in Jedi and Hoc'Taur minions, good to see you correct this. A Jedi, a Hoc'Taur and a Psychic walk into a bar.
 
Last edited:
Next week on Yuriko & Tormander's Excellent Adventure, our intrepid duo steal a cow, possibly while drunk.
Those were flip flops. Sandals? One of the two. But inside of that pair of flip flops were socks, with the man's feet presumably inside them. In fact, at her question, he slowly wriggles his toes and rolled back and forth on his feet.
Ahh~* so comfy. Truly the finest combination of foot coverings.
 
Last edited:
69- No Cheese On The Moon
69 - No Cheese On The Moon
"Moo."

"C'mon man."

"Moo."

"No!"

The cow was not responsive to my requests. This vexed me.

It wasn't even hard to just fly over Texas and suck one up into the ship, the benefits of Ancient teleportation technology melded with the Asgard version that had been modified for less 'advanced' beings made it is. Well, that and the fact that cow herds are huge as all get out. One disappearing from the middle of it all probably wasn't going to be that noticeable unless the cowherd and what not were able to pick out that something was wrong out of that giant morass of mooing. I wouldn't be surprised to be honest given how crazy this version of Earth was.

Speaking of mooing…

"Mooooooo."

"No, man, c'mon. I gotta do it."

There was something that just felt kind of wrong standing in front of the cow with a cleaver while it was still alive. How can I tear a galaxy apart but not be able to just butcher an animal? Wait should it be tranquilized? Or something? I have the manuals that I downloaded, the books I bought out of the shops around the world…I can check those but haven't yet. It wouldn't be impossible for me to just outright build a butcher's shop on the ship, I've got plenty of empty space left, but still.

"Stop looking at me with them big ol' eyes and just…ah fuck it. I can't do it."

I let the cleaver dissolve into nothingness back into my metal reserves and ended the staring contest. Are cows supposed to have such soulful eyes or am I just projecting or something? She's a big one, that's why I grabbed her. Not pregnant, not even that fat, just kind of big. Didn't that mean she would be good for eating or something? Or milk and cheese? I don't even know. I just…stole a dude's cow. Well. Not a dude. More like some greater farm group owned by a corporation but that wasn't important right now.

Then it came closer and just kind of sniffed at me before bumping its head into my hand.

"Moo."

What, like a cat or something? They don't…I mean yeah I'll scratch it behind the ears but that's it. Besides, cats are carnivorous and cows are vegetarian. I think. Mostly? They eat grass, right? Ah, fuck, that's right, I don't have any grass.

Damn it I already stole the cow I'm not just going to give it back!

"Fine. Fine. But I still like hamburgers and steaks. Looking you in the eye isn't going to change that."

"Moo?"

I would have continued my conversation with a fucking cow what am I doing but other things distracted me right around that point. Specifically Yuriko-13 finally having her vaguely scheduled freakout somewhere on the third deck. I'd put her there because there wasn't much to throw around except for my original Theta body but that was about it. I mean yeah she can lift entire carriers out of the ocean but unless she was planning on throwing it into the windowed parts of the sphere part of my ship then it was probably fine. Let's see…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Sounds about right.

"Moo."

"Now now, cow," I pushed its head away for a bit. "I gotta go make sure she doesn't destroy part of my ship. I mean…I don't really think she can, she's not more destructive than a beam from a Death Star or the sun but…yeah."

I was a bit harder to leave after it forlornly moo'd again as I teleported down. I made a note to put in a bunch of grass or whatever on the top deck of the sphere. It shouldn't have to live in a flat metal plane. But it would not be allowed on the middle deck. That's mine, that's the pillow pile and all my other tinkering and projects. Of the three decks, I can separate it like that if I have to. Top one is the cows, second is mine, and I guess that means I'll have to move my Theta body up there so that the third one can be Yurikos if she plans on staying.

"Hey Y-," my greeting got cut off as my current body got slammed into one of the walls of the bottom…third…bottom deck.

Not because she hit me with the Theta body though that was swirling around too but rather because there was just a large openly visible telekinetic whirlwind filling up the entire deck. See that is why I didn't put in stairs or fireman's poles all over the place. I'm the one who teleports around, and everyone else can suck it. Of course at the moment she was flinging my current body around with wild abandon at speeds more than powerful enough to snap a human neck and tear off more than a little bit of the skin layer of my body to reveal the artificial musculature beneath. Hopefully she wouldn't get down to the underlayer. I don't wanna go through the whole 'Oh no I'm actually a robot sort of kinda' thing.

"Hey Yuriko!!"

Still no response. She was making winds out of nothing though so that's not that surprising that she couldn't hear me through her little mini-hurricane thing. At least now she's moved on from the single word screaming and has moved onto ranting.

Which means that she held it together since we left Russia for about…forty-two minutes. Good for her I guess though I'm certainly no expert on mental trauma and issues. On the other hand, wouldn't it be cool if she wasn't ranting about the Emperor, duty, honor, and woah hey no

"Yuriko!"

In the second it took me to say her name I'd already turned on the freeze fields. It's a good thing that Ancient time dilator technology worked on command or it might have been too late! She didn't see me march over through a corridor of real-time but she definitely saw my scowling face when I dropped it all and pulled her hand away from her stomach.

"What the hell dude!?! Seppuku!?"

It took a second for the psionic knife thing she'd made to dissipate into nothingness but holy hell was it a long second.

Then...she started crying.

Damn it.

Oh.

Now she's hitting me. Fists mainly but I caught a good shot to the quantum-crystalline bits which made her hop back and hiss a little before starting in again. I let her, though I pretty easily could have stopped her barring another tornado forming out of her brain.

"Listen, Yuriko, I know it's kind of crazy right mldjl," I moved her fist from where it had lodged in my left cheek, "But that's no reason to kill yourself."

"I... betrayed...the Emperor!"

"Well...,"

"I slew my commander, abandoned my comrades, I cast myself away from his divine will!"

She's crying less, which is good. She's also getting mad and glaring at me which is...less good.

"This is all your fault!"

I should have mag-locked my feet to the ground but instead I went flying.

"I was happy, serving Him and His empire! I was!"

Thankfully she didn't catch my muttered 'I don't think you were' or else she might have thrown my body around some more. I mean...if things got too bad I could technically space her. Of the two units within my cap, the ship is the second one after all.

"But then you show up, and...and you ruined it!"

I dusted myself off as I spoke.

"Oh thank you, Guy, for saving me from being totes lobotomized. You're so cool, you gave me hot chocolate and clothes that weren't a schoolgirl uniform which was all I'd had since being born four months ago in a freaking tube because Tatsu sees all Yurikos as weapons and nothing else."

"He made us what we are!"

"And what is that, precisely?"

We shouldn't be having this conversation with her in a snuggie and me dressed...well like I normally am. It's way too serious.

"A weapon to be feared? A girl who never got to grow up before she was taken from her home? A dehumanized resource to be put into a machine built solely for war?"

I can tell she's still angry, the hormones and heartbeat on the scans tell me so, but she's also calming down. Also she's sad but it's not like that is news at this point.

"We were respected."

"Tanks are respected. Battleships are respected. Weapons in general are respected. But, god Yuriko, how fucked up is it that the best commando in the Empire comes from a sanitarium!?"

Normally, she floats off the ground. A few seconds ago she was as well. But now she's on the ground again doing that slowly collapsing onto sprawled leg things that I've seen her do.

"I don't know what I'm supposed do. I was made to aid the Empire, to fulfill the Emperor's will on the battlefield..."

I have to sit down next to her to be face to face. All that power and yet the general shortness of Asians holds true.

"Yeah, well, Viagra was made for heart disease or something."

She blinks, but doesn't move towards trying to fucking disembowel herself again.

"Turned out, it was way better for ED. Dynamite was for mining but got used in combat cause explosives are good in a fight. Guy who made potato chips was trying to spite a crappy customer. Just cause something was made for something doesn't mean that it has to be like that. Also, like, fuck dude, you're a person. You can make your own decisions and whatever."

"You don't understand."

"Ah c'mon, don't look away from me. Just... okay, look. You want to go back to Japan?"

Well, at least she's not looking away from me anymore.

"I can drop you off at the doors to the sanitarium if you want. We can be there in like five minutes and you can get all lobotomized and whatever within the hour."

...ah, yes. Silence, my old conversational friend, you have returned to me. And while we've been here the cow pooped on my clean metal deck several hundred feet above where Yuriko and I now sit.

What to do, what to do...

"You know what I think we need? Food. When's the last time you ate?"

"...I don't eat. We have a calorie rich drink that reduces waste and provides all our nutrition needs."

Goddamn, that is some horrid shit. That is fucked up!

"That is some evil shit!"

"It is efficient!"

On a very detached level I guess it makes sense. Reduce waste, reduce time wasted. For one of the most sophisticated and technologically advanced members of the war it doesn't seem that far out of place. After all, they've got nanomachine clouds and shit. US Marines get MREs, Soviets get vodka and borscht rations, and the Empire gives out...nutrient paste.

Even discussing it is kind of saddening but keeping her distracted and vaguely mad is better than fucking suicide.

"Does...does it at least taste good?"

"It is tasteless and odorless to keep the enemy from tracking us in the field."

That...is awful. That is terrible. That is some horribadble shit! I...I just...

Note to self: Do Not Let Empire Win!

Yeah no! Nope! They are off the list of who gets to win this war!

"Yuriko."

I have to shake her by the shoulders a bit to get her out of her own head again.

"I promised to save you earlier."

"And I am beginning to think I should not have accepted."

"No, no," I shake my head, "You don't get it. I haven't saved you yet."

"What?"

It takes no effort for me to bring her to her feet.

"Here, put these clothes on. We have to go somewhere."

They're basic jeans and whatever but she's not going around with me in a school uniform. I ain't no sugar daddy.

"Wh-where are we going?"

Ah, to hell with it, I'll be dramatic. I retract the protective metal shutters away from the windows and point down at the Earth from high above its atmosphere. Behind me she gasps at the sight....oh right I never told her we weren't on-planet anymore. Or ever.

"I have to take you to EVERY FIVE STAR RESTAURANT ON EARTH!!! Also some local delicacies...in most countries on Earth. Well," I check the news and all three proto-nets, "Some of the restaurants are uh, gone cause of the fighting...but a lot are still open!"

Instead of remarking on anything I just said, she kind of makes a weird choking noise.

"You...you...we're in...

"Space, yes. Lunar orbit if you want to be particular. But that's not important right now."

"It's extremely important!"

Wow that is a new high pitch from her.

"No, it's not! You know why? Because I am straight channeling my inner grandma so you young lady are going to be spending your time at my house gettin' FED!!"

"I...I've gone insane. This - this isn't real!"

"SET COURSE FOR SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY!!"

And we dove towards Georgia.
 
Last edited:
Back
Top