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Devastation Comes In Big Packages [Planetary Annihilation/Multicross SI]

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There was only one way that The Network could take by the end of this arc.

After everything it was in no headspace for dealing with anything really.

So...yeah.

It ran.

It might not be the most agreed upon decision, it might sour people on The Network a bit, but this is where the character is/was going.

It's a broken failure, a father who killed his own children, and the kind of war that Commanders were built for are not the kinds of conflicts that a formerly human mind can just 'take'.

So...yeah.

The Network ran, and that's how the Stargate arc ends. We're not going to get a pretty bow wrapped around the end of each arc. Hell we didn't even really get that with Star Wars given how The Network managed to fuck up around there.
 
I just hope that this story doesn't degrade into a grim-dark Unlimited Suffering Works for the MC.

As long as he gets over this and moves on I'll be happy.
 
torroar said:
It might not be the most agreed upon decision, it might sour people on The Network a bit, but this is where the character is/was going.
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Makes sense to me and the writing was spot on in general.

Personally wish it could have ended happier (always do in stories really) but totally understand that the Network is going through some really hard stuff right now so totally fits the character like you said.

Hope that in the future he can slowly start piecing himself back together but know will be a long process.
 
Hmm. Well, finally a story where a Commander does not create creepy autistic 'children' to talk at and show off how 'smart' he/she is. Well done.
 
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After going back and re-reading everything to refresh my memory, I can't but help but feel a bit of contempt for your SI. It's like he simply refuses to think ahead. The whole 'children' thing was just the latest thing that blew up in his face. Like, what was going through your mind that made it seem like a good idea at the time? Is it just me?
 
Redegere said:
After going back and re-reading everything to refresh my memory, I can't but help but feel a bit of contempt for your SI. It's like he simply refuses to think ahead. The whole 'children' thing was just the latest thing that blew up in his face. Like, what was going through your mind that made it seem like a good idea at the time? Is it just me?
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Think part of it was that the Network wanted a family.
 
Zealot said:
Hmm. Well, finally a story where a Commander does not create reepy autistic 'children' to talk at and show off how 'smart' he/she is. Well done.
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...Well, he actually kind of did, and it all went horribly wrong.

EDIT: Goddammit; The creating kids part that is. not the bit about mental disabilities. -_-

Also I don't think autism is a thing that can afflict an hyper advanced war A.I.'s attempts at offspring, unless that's what said A.I. is going for; but then that's just an asshole move.
 
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Redegere said:
After going back and re-reading everything to refresh my memory, I can't but help but feel a bit of contempt for your SI. It's like he simply refuses to think ahead. The whole 'children' thing was just the latest thing that blew up in his face. Like, what was going through your mind that made it seem like a good idea at the time? Is it just me?
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Creating unrestricted subcommanders would've been a good way of getting around all of those pesky limits.

A need for companionship might've played a part.

Might've been the need to science the shit out of something.

Honestly there're a lot of reasons why It'd have been a decent idea at the time. There're a lot of reasons why it would've been a bad idea as well but honestly that's going to be true with most decisions. People fuck up. Sometimes people fuck up really hard.
 
torroar said:
Autism...what?

No, it wasn't involved. At any stage.

I think this is the first time that word's come up in the thread even.
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Well I wanted to believe that Zealot was just misusing the term, rather then taking offensive cheap shots at a currently prevalent trope in commander SI's that he has a personal dislike for.
 
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That was just a pain in the ass to read. What the hell is it with commanders and SI's now on an emo kick? with FEELINGS and DRAMA. Did it swing around from having fun and being awesome to this kinda stuff?
I mostly read this for the Action / Reaction and how things play out with the changes introduced. And the good world building. All that got tossed out for this..
 
Too bad I was kinda pumped up for the return of the Emperor to his empire, and the reaction of others. :(

No offense, but the end of the arc leaves a bad memory to this great story.
 
Pai said:
That was just a pain in the ass to read. What the hell is it with commanders and SI's now on an emo kick? with FEELINGS and DRAMA. Did it swing around from having fun and being awesome to this kinda stuff?
I mostly read this for the Action / Reaction and how things play out with the changes introduced. And the good world building. All that got tossed out for this..
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Cause constant action/reaction is unsustainable? At least for me, it is? Also I'd say that my Commander story has had this coming for a bit, so the emotional stuff was kind of already in play. I was just slow about it for various other reasons i.e. school, noncooperating muse, etc.

I don't keep a constant watch on the other Commander fics, so if I happen to accidentally fall into a trend by way of doing what I was already doing then I guess I'm sorry that this is the first time in a while that I could get into the mood for writing this fic.

As for the world building and such, I don't believe that I've tossed that out at all, considering the fic isn't over and we're moving on now to a new place to poke about.

sp90TANGo said:
Too bad I was kinda pumped up for the return of the Emperor to his empire, and the reaction of others. :(

No offense, but the end of the arc leaves a bad memory to this great story.
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I felt that The Network was leaving like he did was a perfectly logical reaction of how things had been going and the state of his mind. Sticking around would have been weird when he really could and had reached the point of up and leaving.

As for the bad memory thing...I suppose. The fic isn't over, mind you, but this is just how the story played out.

That goes for all of it, really. How the fic plays out is how it comes out of my brain. I don't have a beta and write these usually in one full burst. I could re-write things if they are truly inescapably incomprehensible, have major grammar or spelling issues, or is SoD breaking but I don't feel that has occured here.
 
In all honesty Drich is well on her way to becoming ROB, I have no clue about faith as I don't read hers, Fusou is....Fusou and Tiki is having the time of his life.

So in short to me you're perfectly original and I find this refreshing.
 
torroar said:
As for the world building and such, I don't believe that I've tossed that out at all, considering the fic isn't over and we're moving on now to a new place to poke about.
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Any hints? Your commander sounds like he could use a lay over in a setting on the noble-bright side of the sliding scale.
Like Star Trek, or...... that's the only one I can think of. :(
 
And I don't count since I'm not a Commander. :V

Jokes aside, @torroar? I can't say I've had any serious issues with this 'arc' so to speak. It ended on a downer, yes, and it did feel extremely whiplashy with regards to the mood at times but you did tie up all of those loose plot threads and like you said, it's... Kind of how things would've played out anyways. The Network had no reason to stay behind, hell, the Network didn't want to stay behind.

It also contrasts nicely with the Star Wars segment of the story, which ended on a distinct high-note. Honestly we can sort of tell the MC has been through hell just by comparing the beginning of this part of the story to the end of this part of the story. I was able to get the sense that yes, this guy is actually human he isn't some random unemotional asshole murderbot that rides around in a big ship and just shits on everyone.

I don't know where I was going with thi- Anyways. Point is I felt this segment of the story was humanizing or something along those lines and that isn't a bad thing. Not at all.

Was it horrifically depressing and sobering? Yes. Is there anything wrong with the addition of drama and feelings? I don't think so.

Like maybe the only other thing I could say is that the pacing felt a bit off? Iunno.
 
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EVA-Saiyajin said:
Wow. Never seen that before. It was as powerful as it was tragic and heartrending.

Very nice. Not exactly day-brightening, but undeniably good.
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I'll be honest, I had pretty much the exact opposite reaction.

It was about as meh as it was bleh and...and...something you see coming easily, sorry I just lost the word there.

I've been expecting(was that the word I was looking for?) this pretty much from the first part of this arc and literally nothing about the arc stood out to me in any interesting way.

It was pretty much distilled meh from start to finish, which is unfortunate as the first arc was actually relatively interesting if a bit sparse on details pertaining to anything other than Torroar's issues. (still wish more detail had been gone into on the whole Vader turns goodish thing)
 
ShineUCrazyStar said:
Well I wanted to believe that Zealot was just misusing the term, rather then taking offensive cheap shots at a currently prevalent trope in commander SI's that he has a personal dislike for.
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...I was trying to underline that this story is a welcome change in that aspect. You may call it a cheap shot if you wish.

And no, I do not believe that I am misusing the term. I use it due to the way said children behave, irrespective of what said children are stated to be. Basically, I judge based on what we are shown, rather on what we are told. Or, in even other words, on what they do, not what they say.

Edit: And now I just realized how sad it is that I honestly thank the author for the absence of artificial creepy autistic children.
 
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At the end of the day, some people are going to like it, and some people aren't. I'm not the...Perfect Author for whom everything is regarded as a masterwork by everyone.

I'm still trying to be a better writer through all of this - stories and quests. And sometimes it'll fail. If you feel it's stale, not engaging, not...good, then that's how you feel. I can only try to do better going forward.
 
torroar said:
At the end of the day, some people are going to like it, and some people aren't. I'm not the...Perfect Author for whom everything is regarded as a masterwork by everyone.

I'm still trying to be a better writer through all of this - stories and quests. And sometimes it'll fail. If you feel it's stale, not engaging, not...good, then that's how you feel. I can only try to do better going forward.
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That's all anyone can ever do and we all get better at things if we work at it.

If it means anything you have improved in general every time you write and as time has passed.
 
torroar said:
At the end of the day, some people are going to like it, and some people aren't. I'm not the...Perfect Author for whom everything is regarded as a masterwork by everyone.

I'm still trying to be a better writer through all of this - stories and quests. And sometimes it'll fail. If you feel it's stale, not engaging, not...good, then that's how you feel. I can only try to do better going forward.
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I felt the entire Stargate arc was a great Commander SI genre deconstruction. Has even better impact, in that I'm pretty sure this was the first deconstruction of this genre.

This arc wowed me in the same way Puella Magi Madoka Magica did (magical girl genre deconstruction for those not in the weeaboo).
 
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serapheus said:
It was pretty much distilled meh from start to finish, which is unfortunate as the first arc was actually relatively interesting if a bit sparse on details pertaining to anything other than Torroar's issues.
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I disagree. The first arc was the typical Commander SI tech-porn, build up phase. It was unique only in the scale of the Network's mistakes and focus on his issues. This arc was glorious.

While it started in a bad place (immediately after the war with no build up), everything about it was refreshing. It wasn't another step in the power fantasy or the next stomp. It had depth. Even with all of the tech and power the Network still fundamentally lost, over what amounted to an act of chance and good intentions. That's not even taking into account the sheer scale that was described. Or how Zeta was characterized so well despite having almost no screen time; making what she becomes all the more poignant. Or how much emotion was conveyed with limited dialogue, as well as how magnificently the arc showed that the Network is still human. Even with the lengths it has been forced to go, it isn't a machine.

Could it have been better? Yeah, of course it could. Some build up, and showing how he started the war would have been great. Taking some of the emotion out of it would have probably worked better for what torroar was going for, as it doesn't read like the Network is functioning well enough to be on a total war footing. How little it focused on the other children was weak in comparison. But these are minor complaints. The arc did what torroar was aiming for wonderfully.
torroar said:
At the end of the day, some people are going to like it, and some people aren't. I'm not the...Perfect Author for whom everything is regarded as a masterwork by everyone.

I'm still trying to be a better writer through all of this - stories and quests. And sometimes it'll fail. If you feel it's stale, not engaging, not...good, then that's how you feel. I can only try to do better going forward.
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See, I don't think you failed on this one. I think it was a mistaken assumption in what the readers came for. The people coming in expecting the typical Commander SI aren't going to be happy about you changing the formula.
ShineUCrazyStar said:
I felt the entire Stargate arc was a great Commander SI genre deconstruction. Even better impact, in that I'm pretty sure this was the first deconstruction of this genre.
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Exactly this right here. This one knows.
 
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