Demon Queened

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Chapter 30
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    • Devilla


    I wish I could say that my deal with Feyra brought me joy. That I felt pride in the proposal I'd made, in order to give myself more time. In truth, however, it made me feel a little like a coward. Risking everything, because I couldn't trust Lucy with my secrets… Not to mention the fact that I was basically bullying Feyra into keeping quiet. Even if I managed to convince her that I meant no harm to her or Lucy, nothing could change the fact that she was currently being forced to live in terror of me. At the same time, however, her fear - and my inability to work around it - was the very reason that I hesitated to tell Lucy the truth.

    The simple fact was that I had been lucky in my travels so far. Lissera had overlooked my identity because I was the savior of her village. Lucy was willing to let me keep it secret because she wanted me to feel comfortable revealing it. And yet the moment I had to actually convince someone that I wasn't so horrible a monster as the church made me out to be, I'd failed to find even the slightest argument in my favor. What's more, I'd literally spent all my time insisting to Lucy that I was a worse person than she thought!

    On the other hand, one could argue that Feyra was a blessing in disguise. If I could convince her, someone completely set against me, that I was actually sincere in my desire for peace… Well, surely I could convince Lucy of the same? Though how I was going to go about convincing either of them was beyond me…
    It was with such dark thoughts weighing me down that I returned, in silence, to the guild. Feyra, besides me, was glowering at nothing, clearly displeased with the arrangement. Something that did nothing for my mood. Though, really, I couldn't imagine anything capable of improving-

    "Eena!"

    "Lucy!" I… smiled? I smiled. Why was I smiling? One minute, I was brooding, and the next… Well, the next moment, I was more concerned with the Heroine throwing herself into my arms. The Heroine, and the horse trailing behind her. "...I assume there's a reason for the horse?"

    "She's here for Feyra!" Lucy explained, parting from me after a brief squeeze. "So she can keep up with us!"

    "Of fucking course she is," Feyra replied, following the statement up with a tired sigh. "You do know I have no clue how to ride a horse, right?"

    "I'll teach you!" Lucy promised. "I used to ride all the time, back before I was strong enough to just walk everywhere!"

    "I wasn't aware you could outpace a horse," I remarked, raising an eyebrow. It sounded rather impressive for a human, Heroine or no.

    "Well, I wouldn't say I can go faster," Lucy corrected me. "But I can keep up with one easily enough! And I'm pretty sure you could, too. But I don't think Feyra would be able to keep up with either of us, endurance wise."

    "Understandable, I suppose. Though I do have to wonder if there's a reason you didn't go for three horses? We'd likely have an easier time keeping in lock step, that way." And I'd have an easier time of it, in general, for that matter. Not that I couldn't keep up with a horse - I was fairly certain I could outpace it, and Lucy, both - but walking in heels on the uneven forest floor sounded like a nightmare.

    "Well, I was sort of hoping we could walk hand in hand?" Lucy admitted, cheeks red, but eyes trained on me. Unflinching, even as she bared her ulterior motives.

    "...I suppose I could manage a walk, if it means keeping you in my grasp," I conceded, my own cheeks striving to match hers in coloration, even as my gaze slid to the side, failing to equal her straightforward courage.

    "Fucking hell," Feyra grumbled, from behind me. "Why do I have to get stuck with the only two lovebirds I can't even tell to get a room?"

    "Well, I don't know about a room, but I did get one big tent for the two of us!" Lucy admitted. "And a smaller one for you, too, Feyra!"

    "Appreciated," I murmured, with a smile.

    A mere hour ago, I would have actually considered that to be an issue. I had plans to visit the tower during the night, after all. Plans to teleport, from the safety of a private tent. Plans that were all but ruined, with Feyra traveling alongside us. She'd be able to tell if I disappeared, in all likelihood, and who knew what she'd do during my away time?

    No. Sharing a tent with Lucy was the best arrangement I could hope for, under these circumstances. Both for the sake of keeping Feyra's mouth shut, and growing closer to Lucy herself. Hopefully Abigail would understand and be content with me teleporting written communication in and out for a while.

    Just how selfish was I, though, that some part of me actually hoped that she would miss me?


    Abigail


    "The things I do for Devilla," I grumbled, looking up and down the street outside my house. I'd set up a time to meet Nivera, via Chloe - something that was shockingly easy to do, because apparently Chloe knew everyone. No less than five of my coworkers had shared drinks with her, and I was pretty sure at least two of them had slept with her at some point. They actually fought over who got to pass the message along.

    Honestly, I wasn't sure who I was looking forward to meeting less. Chloe, the popular whirlwind of a fox I had zero clue what to make of, or-

    "Abigail."

    I spun, caught off guard by Nivera as she came slithering out of the alleyway. Also known as the one direction I hadn't been looking towards… unlike Bailey, I guess, because her expression was amused.

    "Nivera," I said, silently deciding that I was going to have a talk with that wolf later. What sorta bodyguard let their charge get caught off guard like that? "Where's Chloe?"

    "I asked her to get me something I 'forgot' at home, then ran off without her," Nivera said. "I wanted to talk to you alone."

    "...You ditched your fiancee?"

    Nivera snorted. "Like I could trick her with a lie that obvious. No, it was basically code for 'give me a few minutes.' She's around somewhere - ready to jump in the moment I make an ass of myself."

    "...Right…" When. Not if. At least she was self-aware, I guess?

    "Look. Chloe gave me an earful when I told her how things went with you. Said I was even more of a bitch than she expected, and that I needed to apologize."

    "...So you're here to say you're sorry?" I asked.

    "...Maybe," she muttered, looking away from me. "Maybe I took some of my… issues out on you. But to be honest, I think it was warranted."

    "Funny," I said, looking around. "I thought Chloe was going to come out when you started making an ass of yourself?"

    "Look…" Nivera ran a hand through her hair. "I… I gave up on Devilla getting better, you know?"

    "Huh?" I asked, glancing at Bailey. She… didn't look at me. Her eyes were solely trained on Nivera.

    "I wrote her off, thinking she was a lost cause. A casualty of the fucked up system we bloodliners are raised in. And it wasn't like I was alright with it, but… Then you came along, and suddenly she's not acting like a brat anymore! She's getting salt for the tower. Pulling back on her spying. Acting nice… All because of you."

    "And that's why you think it was alright for you to bitch?" I asked, incredulously. The fact that I wasn't the reason for all that aside… "This has to be the worst apology I've ever heard."

    "No! I mean, yeah, maybe some part of me hated you for doing what I couldn't. For making me own up to the fact that maybe I could have done more. But I could get over that. Until you went and got the bloodliners involved. Accidentally, I know - but I didn't know that when we met. I figured you were either the biggest fucking idiot I'd ever met, or you were using Devilla for your own ends. And I honestly didn't care which. All I could think about was the fact that you were going to break her all over again."

    I wanted to say 'fuck you.' I wanted to tell her that a nice story didn't excuse her for treating me like shit. That she could have given me the benefit of the doubt. I probably would have, too, if it wasn't for how lost she looked.

    Which wasn't to say that I was going to forgive her or anything. I mean, sure, maybe I felt a little sorry for her, but mostly I just wanted to know something. "Why do you care so much? Devilla figured you'd hate her. Didn't she ruin your life, or something?"

    "Is that how she put it?" For a moment, Nivera's face was blank. Then she let out a bitter little laugh, and wiped a tear from her eye. "She really is back to how she used to be, isn't she?"

    "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I asked, glancing at Bailey. Who, again, kept her eyes trained on Nivera. I guess she wanted to absorb as much of this as she could.

    "Do you know why Devilla befriended me?" she asked, instead of answering.

    I hesitated a moment, wavering between telling her to fuck off with the whole 'telling a story instead of answering a damn question' thing, or playing along. You'd think it would be an easy decision, considering I literally came there to hear more about Devilla, but it was honestly a close one. "No."

    "Because she was told to." Nivera laughed again. "She was such a perfect little puppet back then. So fucking desperate for approval. For affection. So when the generals introduced her to a bunch of their children, and told her to get along, of course she tried her best. And of course all the children were more than willing to play along."

    "Okay?"

    "But then there was me," Nivera continued. "The only brat who wasn't willing to play nice just because her parents told her to. I don't even remember why. Maybe I was just being a spoiled brat. Or maybe I didn't like the look in her eyes. But Devilla… she saw me as the only obstacle between her and a job well done. So you know what she did?"

    "I don't know… tried to kick you out of the group or something?" I could imagine Devilla doing that. Or at least Devilla as she used to be.

    Nivera shook her head though. "I wish… No. She took it on herself to make me happy. To make me her friend. Even to the point where she ignored the others - I mean, they were all pretending to be her friend, no matter what, anyway… But me? I made her work for it… I made her get me stuff. Do stuff. Even had her issue orders to my parents, once or twice, to make them pay me more attention, or buy me stuff… Next thing I knew, she'd gone from wanting to please the generals to trying to appease her one and only 'friend.'"

    "You used her." There wasn't any accusation in my voice. Not over something she did when she was six. I was just stating a fact.

    That didn't keep Nivera from flinching, though. "Yeah. I did. And the worst thing is? I started feeling good about it. I mean, the generals were making her do boring shit. She was having fun with me, at least. We'd play games together - and sometimes I'd even let her win. We'd talk. Or I'd talk, anyway, she mostly listened… She treated me like a sister… and then my parents forbid me from spending time with her."

    "Which is when everything went wrong."

    "She somehow got it in her head that firing my dam would solve something… or more like someone put the idea in her head, but that's a story for later. The important bit is that my parents got mad at me, which got me mad at her, and caused our friendship to split. My parents, meanwhile, all but disowned me - I went from being their precious daughter to the disappointment they wanted nothing to do with. They made sure my basic needs were met, but… well, they only ever talked to me to tell me what a disappointment I was to the family."

    "And the point of this whole story?" I asked. "Because as nice as it is to hear about Devilla's past, I don't really get what it has to do with you caring about her."

    "The point is what happened to us after. On my side? I hated Devilla. For a long time. Eventually though, Aunt Sallina helped me realize something - namely, parents who'd disown their kid like that? Over losing a fucking job? Shouldn't be parents. I mean, we both know how fucked up I am. Imagine how much worse it would be if they'd kept raising me. If Devilla hadn't exposed them for what they were? If Sallina never took me in? I don't even want to imagine what would happen."

    "And Queen?" Bailey asked, leaning in a little closer.

    I didn't say anything, but I was curious too. Almost despite myself, but still.

    "Devilla had it worse. She'd been used by the generals, and abandoned by me. She tried running things… She tried making decisions for herself, and passing laws, but she was a kid, so of course it ended in disaster. She tried reshuffling the tower hierarchy - which sorta worked, with Sylvanna taking charge, but it mostly just made her more enemies. I'm pretty sure she almost caused a civil war at one point…"

    "So what?" I asked. "You blame yourself for her turning into a bad ruler?"

    "I don't blame myself for shit," Nivera replied, crossing her arms. "It was the generals that fucked us both up, but I was able to get out thanks to her, even if it was unintentional. Devilla, on the other hand… gave up."

    "On ruling? Or on you and the generals?"

    Nivera shook her head. "On herself."

    First things first, I just want to assure everyone that we're not leaving Devilla behind for the next few chapters. I'm planning to split the upcoming chapters between her and Abigail - the two events are happening more or less simultaneously (give or take a few hours) and... well, I know the tower stuff can drag on sometimes, so I'm experimenting a little and taking a reader's suggestion to see if I can keep up with both. Future chapters will likely have a more even split, or maybe even lean towards more Devilla. This chapter is a bit of an exception, due to their being a brief time lapse between Devilla and Lucy's cute reunion and the next Big Thing I have planned. (Or at least that was the intent when I wrote it.)

    In terms of the chapter itself... Well, I must admit that I'm curious what people will think of Nivera after this chapter. She's a lot more relaxed, now that she's out of General Yara's office. She's still a bit bitchy, and completely unable to give a straightforward answer for the life of her, but she's not nearly as antagonistic. In fact, she's actively trying to help Abigail understand Devilla better - but good luck getting her to admit it...
    Also, Lucy and Devilla are so adorable together. I absolutely loved writing them - Devilla is completely defenseless against Lucy's straightforward attacks!

    Finally, I just want to thank my proofreader FallingLeaf and my beta reader Lulla - their help makes this story better, and I'm so glad to have them. (Also want to give thanks to all you readers - your views, favorites and comments are all fuel for the fire! I'm already up to chapter 32 on Patreon - at least in terms of preproofread rough drafts.)
     
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 31
  • Threadmarks

    • Devilla


    I remembered there being a joke, of sorts, back on Earth. One that declared handholding to be one of the lewdest things imaginable. Depictions of intertwined fingers would be pixelated, and the mere thought of grabbing a crush's hands might lead to reddened cheeks or even scandalized gasps. It was a bit of humor I often laughed at as Jacob.

    Walking down the street with Lucy, her fingers intertwined with mine, my ever accelerating heartbeat made it increasingly difficult to remember why I'd ever found that joke so funny.

    "Are you sure you're okay, Eena? Your face is really red!"

    "I'm fine," I promised her. It wasn't a lie. I was fine - even if my heart was beating a mile a minute and my face was on fire. Even if it felt like everyone we passed was staring and whispering. I was fine. And I would continue to be fine so long as Lucy continued to sport that goofy smile.

    "I don't even want to think about the rumors that are going to spread from this," Feyra complained from astride her mount. "The Heroine traveling with a cursed girl, while grinning and holding hands with a highborn whose face is so red you'd think she was walking down the street naked, or something."

    "I'd like to see you keep your calm under the eyes of every passerby," I retorted. The fact that I'd be significantly less embarrassed to walk around unclothed was likely better left unsaid.

    "I wouldn't worry too much about it," Lucy replied. "I'm sure everyone's just curious about what I'm up to! Especially since I don't usually travel with people…"

    "At least we're near the gates," Feyra remarked, placing a hand above her eyes to shield them from the midday sun. "Not having to deal with too many people on the road is the one good thing about the Monster Movement, so far as I'm concerned."

    "It's really bad for the smaller villages, though," Lucy pointed out. "I've asked around, while traveling, and apparently merchants just completely stop visiting some places! And their costs go up everywhere they do go. It's one of the reasons I want to find the cause and put a stop to it!"

    "Really?" I asked. "I would have expected your reasoning to be more along the lines of wanting people free to explore the world the goddess gifted them, or some such."

    "Well, of course I want that!" Lucy affirmed. "But traveling is always going to be dangerous. So long as there are monsters, there's danger! Not to mention the harm people can do to one another, when they get desperate or greedy… but that doesn't mean we can't make things better! If the Monster Movements stop, then the monsters will stick to their territories, and the merchants will be able to figure out the right routes to take. They'll be able to visit the smaller villages, and sell things at reasonable rates! And people will be able to get healberries at the normal prices, too!"

    "That's… rather practical of you," I remarked, eyeing Lucy. I'd thought her the sort to tackle the world's problems without a second thought. To fight for a better tomorrow, in any and every way she can. And I still did believe that to be true - we were talking about the same Lucy who'd tried to single-handedly end a two thousand year war in Tower Conquest after all. But perhaps there was more than blind optimism guiding her movements. "This wasn't a spur of the moment quest for you, was it?"

    "Not at all!" Lucy confirmed. "I've wanted to do it ever since I became an adventurer! But the last monster movement ended right before I joined the guild."

    "Did you ever try to take a more proactive approach?" I questioned. "To put an end to the movements before the next had a chance to begin?"

    Lucy hesitated a moment, before replying. "Once. But I wasn't allowed to go into the forest… The churches near Daroom Woods double as outposts, and the guards that work there try to keep people from going too deep when there isn't a Monster Movement. It's to stop people from triggering one early… But if it's already happening, then there shouldn't be an issue!"

    "Shouldn't be an issue?" Feyra questioned, narrowing her eyes from atop her horse. "Heroine. You did run mission by someone, didn't you?"

    "Don't worry!" Lucy replied with a bright smile. "The outposts empty out for the Monster Movements, so there shouldn't be anyone to stop us!"

    …Of course, the whole reason her attempt at ending the war was 'single-handed' was because she'd gone against the church to do it in the first place…

    "I am so going to hell," Feyra whispered.

    "Come on!" Lucy called out, picking up her pace a little. "We're almost out the gates!"

    "Is there something special about that?" I questioned her, arching an eyebrow even as I picked up my pace. A feat made slightly more difficult by my choice in footwear. Still manageable, though, if only because I was using small amounts of magical energy to flatten the ground whenever it grew too bumpy.

    The things I did for the sake of Lucy's smile…

    "It'll be the first steps of our adventure!" the girl in question replied, the aforementioned smile still firmly affixed upon her face. "I mean, I think some people count it from the time you leave the guild until the time you come back home? But to me, this whole city is basically my home! That's why the adventure can't truly start until we've walked through the gates!"

    "The adventure, hmm?" I questioned her, unable to resist a smile of my own. "I'd have thought such a thing would become rather mundane to you, by this point. You've been an adventurer for quite a while, have you not?"

    "Ever since I turned eighteen!" Lucy confirmed. "It's always exciting to go out again, though! To help people! To show everyone that the Goddess is watching, and that she cares… that their Heroine is willing to fight for their happiness! It's always meaningful to me…"

    For a moment, as I listened, it felt like I wasn't talking to Lucy anymore. That it was the Heroine who's hand I held, and who was pulling me towards a mission to help her people. But then she turned to me, her eyes sparkling and her smile somehow growing even wider. "But this time's special, even aside from that, because it's our first time going on an adventure together!"

    I laughed. Mostly at myself, for having forgotten something vital - that Lucy was the Heroine. That the girl who wished to save the world was the very same one who took such joy simply from existing within it. To see her as a symbol, while ignoring the girl underneath, was a sin, in my opinion. But by the same token, ignoring the symbol she strove to represent would mean ignoring her passion, and heartfelt desire to lead the world into a better tomorrow.

    "Then let's take the first step together," I declared, slowing to a stop as we neared the threshold. When she gave me a curious glance, I smiled. "On the count of three?"

    "One!" Lucy declared by way of response.

    "Two," I replied, a small smile on my lips.

    ""Three!""

    It was sappy, I knew. I could literally hear Feyra groaning about it, too. But so what? When the day inevitably came that Lucy saw me for who I was, I'd be happy for a 'sappy' memory or two to cherish.


    Abigail


    "What do you mean, 'she gave up on herself'?" That definitely wasn't the impression I'd gotten, back before the Rite of Insight. If anything, she seemed pretty full of herself - always talking herself up, and putting everyone else down.

    "I meant what I said," Nivera replied, narrowing her eyes. "Or did you never think it weird that the supposedly selfish brat was planning to fight to the death for all of us? That she never ran away? Or even pass a bunch of selfish laws?"

    "She literally made it illegal to say your name around her."

    "...Okay, so she passed a selfish law… But she could have done way worse! She could have made it illegal to badmouth her. She could have executed anyone and everyone who looked at her funny. She could have turned into a tyrant! But what did she do instead?"

    "Yelled at her maids for getting her toast cut wrong, and threw people in the dungeon for saying they were prettier than her?"

    "For, like, a day or two at a time!"

    "I think what she's trying to say," came a voice from up above our heads, "is that Illa only acted that way because she'd given up on herself. Y'know, the whole 'it's fine if nobody loves me, because I don't need anyone anyway' mindset people sometimes get into when they're super depressed? Or like a kid who gets into an argument with her friend and then pretends they were never really that great a friend anyway, because facing up to her problems would mean dealing with a ton of emotions she isn't equipped to handle. Except kids usually have parents, or guardians, or at least other friends to help them through it, while Illa had nobody. And I'm pretty sure nobody ever taught her the tools to actually deal with her problems."

    I didn't reply right away. Mostly because I was too busy gawking at the kitsune sitting on the brothel's rooftop. "How long have you been up there?"

    "Hmmm…." Chloe frowned, tapping her chin and pretending to think. "Since before Nivera called you over? She was doing pretty good until now, though, so I didn't really see the need to interfere. Super proud of you for that, by the way!"

    "I was still doing fine!" Nivera protested.

    "You were getting worked up and shutting conversation down," Chloe replied, before casually leaping off of the rooftop. This time I actually got to see her shift into a fox - though there wasn't much to see, with an instantaneous transformation. One second she was a girl, the next she was a fox, landing atop Nivera's head before bouncing off and landing on the ground, back in her demonoid form all over again. "You know you need to keep your temper in check if you want to communicate."

    Nivera didn't so much respond as grump, pulling her lips into a pout and looking away from the two of us.

    "And you are being too hard on your friend," Chloe continued, pointing a finger towards me. "Illa might have had a lot of problems, but you of all people know how she's been struggling to change. Do you think that could have happened if she was really as heartless and selfish as everyone paints her out to be?"

    My first instinct was 'yes.' I mean, she'd only changed because of the Rite! Because of her past life memories! But there was one thing bothering me about all that… "I still don't get what you meant about her being back to the way she used to be."

    "I mean that she's always blamed herself when things go wrong," Nivera replied, turning back towards me. Her voice was calm, but I couldn't help but notice the way her tail was curling and uncurling, like when she'd gotten mad at Yara. Thankfully she didn't seem to be reaching for anything, this time. "Some random bitch didn't want to be her friend? She must have done something wrong. Someone asked her to get something, but was super vague about it? Her fault for not getting clarification before acting. Maybe that really did change for a bit, when she went all bratty, but I'd be willing to bet she was just trying to protect herself from all the self-recrimination. That she wanted to believe she didn't have anyone because she didn't need anyone, rather than because she couldn't have them. Because the moment she started caring about people again? She's already back to viewing herself as the one who fucked everything up, isn't she?"

    "That's…" I hesitated. Was she right? Had Devilla really been suffering the whole time?

    "She's mostly just speculating," Chloe added. "I mean, they haven't talked in forever, y'know? And she's totally definitely biased in Illa's favor, too! But… I think it says something that Illa changed the moment she got a friend, don't you?"

    Except it wasn't getting a friend that changed her… but she had needed one. Desperately. To the point where she'd basically been willing to do pretty much anything to keep me around. Even telling me all her secrets… I wasn't going to say that Nivera was right about everything. Not when she was missing so many pieces of the puzzle. And I definitely wasn't going to pretend that Devilla being pitiful made up for everything she'd done. But… maybe Devilla's whole self-hatred thing wasn't exactly new, after all?

    "Oh, but we should probably get to the point about why we brought you out here," Chloe added, drawing my attention back to the present. "Because you know that whole thing about how someone put the idea of firing Niv's dam into Illa's head? As of about…. an hour ago? That just became a whole lot more relevant."

    I... was not originally intending to write the scene we got from Devilla, here. I was planning to shift directly to the group being beyond the gate and maybe running into trouble of some sort. But then the bit about handholding being lewd occurred to me, and everything sorta flowed from there? No regrets, in the end. It was cute, and fun, and just a little bit painful (because it wouldn't be Devilla if she didn't try and ruin everything for herself.)


    Abigail's scene is actually of a similar nature. Except I didn't really have concrete plans for it? I was mostly trying to figure out a way to get towards that last line in a way that would feel natural, and it ended up taking the whole damn chapter.


    I'm not sure how satisfied I am with Chloe's bad metaphor in this chapter - it's not really bad enough - but I had to give her one because she's Chloe... Actually, I went back and looked over some of Chloe's last chapter to try and get her voice right. Hopefully I did alright? It wasn't as easy to get her whirlwind energy in this time, since she's playing mediator. (Communication is actually really important to Chloe, so she's taking the role seriously! It's a whole thing with her. Even if that communication sometimes happens in a non-standard way when it's with Nivera.)


    I'm still working on chapter 33 right now - new antidepressant/ADHD meds have led to some trouble, though I'm still hoping to get the rough draft up today or tomorrow - but chapter 32's is already up on Patreon!


    Thanks, as always, to FallingLeaf for proofreading and Lulla for beta reading!
     
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    • This background context for the Princess adds a wrinkle to the fact that she was also overwritten. Almost like the Rite of Incite worked correctly after all, and actually, this new personality is some kind of trauma response/dissociative identity rather than actually being a human isekai.
     
    outwrangle said:
    This background context for the Princess adds a wrinkle to the fact that she was also overwritten. Almost like the Rite of Incite worked correctly after all, and actually, this new personality is some kind of trauma response/dissociative identity rather than actually being a human isekai.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    I wouldn't say she was overwritten, to be honest - though trauma and a desire to escape her identity certainly factored into her originally leaning towards Jacob's identity. (That, and my own thoughts on her identity shifted over time...)

    I like to compare her identity to a cake, with "Devilla" being the cake itself and "Jacob's memories" being a glaze laid atop it. The end result is definitely different... but it's still the same cake, underneath. Similarly, Devilla's perspective shifted dramatically as a result of having all those memories crammed into her head, but she's still Devilla.
     
    outwrangle said:
    This background context for the Princess adds a wrinkle to the fact that she was also overwritten. Almost like the Rite of Incite worked correctly after all, and actually, this new personality is some kind of trauma response/dissociative identity rather than actually being a human isekai.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    I think early chapters can be seen more in a way as her trying desperately to reconcile all the Outside Context Information, outsider perspective on her current state, effectively a prophesy of what is likely happen and a second set of memories. I can't imagine anybody not acting weird with all that stuff piling up ON TOP of thar trauma, overwhelming sense of guilt and crushing loneliness.

    As time went on, Devilla integrated memories and reasserted her identity. Normalizing her environment by getting people she can confide in safely, being genuinely cared for and 'mentored' in the ways of being a person, meeting new people who (almost) don't have previous history with her might've helped with that process significantly. She is healing.
     
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    Chapter 32
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    • Devilla


    The momentous nature of our first steps aside, there really wasn't anything that impressive immediately outside the town walls. The most noteworthy thing was the ever present line of people waiting to enter the city. Though I did notice a few things that had previously escaped me - namely the fact that almost everyone was clumped together in groups of at least two or more. There was also a tension to the travelers, easily detectable from the way people's eyes darted about with every noise.

    A result of the Monster Movement, perhaps? If Lucy and Feyra were to be believed, it made the world outside considerably less safe… if it could even be called safe to begin with. It was likely that only the desperate or the foolhardy would dare to travel alone, in such cond-

    "GAH!"

    "...Did anyone else hear a scream?" I questioned, glancing first to Lucy, and then to Feyra. The latter merely shrugged her shoulders, while the former shook her head. That shake was quickly followed by a question, however.

    "Do you know where it came from? Could you lead us there?"

    "Lead us where?" Feyra interjected. "I didn't even hear anything!"

    "Me neither, but I trust Eena's sense of hearing at least as much as my own! If she heard someone scream, then we should check it out!"

    "It could have been nothing," I warned her, even as I tugged at her hand. It wasn't a lie, or a false assurance. While I'd certainly heard a scream, it could easily have been someone reacting to a spider, or - Fallen forbid - a rat. There hadn't been any follow up, after all, nor had the initial scream come with any form of context… But if it did signal genuine danger, and we ignored it, the result would doubtlessly haunt Lucy. I wouldn't be exactly untroubled by it, either.

    Besides which, the voice sounded oddly familiar.

    "Fuck!" came the cry again, closer this time. It was paired with the noise of metal clashing on… something hard? Not metal, I was fairly certain. It was more akin to when Lucy had blocked the spiked bear's claws with her sword - though not quite that, either.

    It didn't matter. A few more steps through the woods, and I'd have my answer.

    "I think I heard something this time!" Lucy declared, relinquishing my hand in order to grab at the hilt of her sword, while picking up her pace.

    I hesitated a moment, eyeing the bumpy forest floor with its carpeting of roots, leaves, and twigs. Tripping hazards for a girl in heels. I could potentially levitate myself? It would certainly be a fast mode of travel. It would also gobble up far more magic than simply flying with my wings, and prevent me from utilizing any other form of magic… Maybe I could bounce between the trees, then? Or…

    I fought with myself. Long enough for Feyra to pass me on her horse. Long enough for Lucy to pass through the trees before me, drawing her sword from its sheath. Long enough for me to curse myself for being a fool, who would put vanity before the safety of one she cared about. Then I gathered up my courage, undid the straps of my shoes with a bit of magical manipulation, and stepped barefoot onto the forest floor.

    Freed of my footwear, which I'd quickly stowed in my pack, it was trivial to outpace Feyra's horse and catch up with Lucy. I chose not to look in her direction, though, not wanting to see the expression she might make, at seeing my reduced height. I doubted she'd be disappointed by my diminutive appearance, but… it was best to keep my eyes upon the trouble ahead.

    Trouble that came in the form of a familiar blonde figure, facing against what looked to be a massive spider made of stone.

    "Is that Kalice?" Feyra called from behind me.

    "Cute… I mean, who's Kalice?" Lucy asked.

    "Someone who caused trouble for Feyra in the recent past," I explained, frowning at the blonde debt collector as she warded off one of the spider's legs by punching it with a steel clad fist. "And I suppose she is attractive enough, yes - though it hardly seems the time to mention it?"

    To be honest, she seemed more 'hot' than cute to me, clad as she was in leather armor that clung closely to her curves. With her blonde hair swept back into a ponytail, and her orange eyes burning with determination as she deflected strike after strike from the spider with her gauntlets, there was a certain fierceness I could see attracting someone. Indeed, it might have drawn me if not for her previous behavior rather tainting my opinion of her…

    "You're probably right about the timing," Lucy confirmed, with a nod as she strode forward. "But I was actually talking about you!"

    "M-me?!" I sputtered. "F-for the last time, I'm not… just because I took off my heels, doesn't mean I'm… For Fall…. By all that is good in this world, can we please focus on the girl in trouble?!"

    "I am focused on her!" Lucy protested. "But it's usually considered bad manners to interfere with a monster fight unless you're asked. Can you step in while I heal her if things go wrong, though?"

    "Could you please shut up and let me concentrate?!" Kalice shouted, jumping back as one of the spider's legs crashed into the ground, where she'd been standing a moment prior. "This thing is hard enough to beat without an audience!"

    "Sounds like she's fine, to me" Feyra remarked, pulling her horse to a stop next to us. "If anything, we're getting in the way by being here…"

    "I guess," Lucy admitted, frowning, before lowering her voice. "Maybe we could just hide out of sight? That way we can leave if everything goes well, and interfere if it doesn't. I can heal any injuries that don't kill her instantly, so long as Eena buys me time!"

    "Easy enough," I confirmed, turning to walk back through the trees. "Though, regardless of the results, I think I'd like to have a word with her when this is done… She made some vague threats, when last we met, and I'd honestly rather tie up such a messy loose end."

    "She threatened you?" Lucy questioned, following after me as we put a few trees between us and the fight. A tingle in the air alerted me to Lucy's use of magic - likely preparations to distract or block the spider in a hurry, if need be.

    "Uh. Am I the only one worried about the super fucking ominous thing Eena just said?" Feyra asked, drawing a frown from me.

    "Did Lucy put you up to saying that? Because I really don't see what's so problematic about wanting to put a preemptive end to any trouble she might cause us in the future."

    "Don't worry," Lucy interceded. "Eena's just bad at phrasing things! I'm sure she isn't planning to kill her or anything like that!"

    "Kill… I know you don't think much of me, Feyra, but I'm hardly going to kill someone for an inconvenience they may or may not be intending to one day inflict upon me! I simply hope to use Lucy's status as the Heroine to make her think twice about future entanglements… assuming you don't mind, that is?"

    "I don't!" Lucy confirmed. "Though I also don't think you should get mad at Feyra, when she's only reacting to your phrasing. And I'm still kind of curious about what's going on? It sounds like she caused a lot of trouble for you and Feyra, but Feyra never mentioned any of it to me!"

    I bit back my instinctive protest at Lucy's words, choosing to instead think back on what I had previously said. I… still didn't see anything wrong with my initial word choice. Yes, I suppose it could be misconstrued as a threat of sorts, but I was hardly the sort to maim or kill just to 'tie up loose ends' - even at my brattiest, there were always lines I would not cross. Feyra didn't know that, though. In fact, she quite obviously thought the opposite. Something that irritated me… but was that really an excuse to get mad at her, in the here and now? Or was I simply being too sensitive, when it came to her opinion of me? I hadn't gotten mad at Lucy when she reacted that way before, after all. And even if I did have a right to be annoyed at Feyra in general, snapping at her wasn't exactly productive to winning her over.

    "I apologize," I said at last, nodding my head towards Feyra before turning my attention towards Lucy. "Though as for sating your curiosity, I do believe the duty belongs to Feyra. Assuming she's willing to share?"

    "There's nothing to share," Feyra grumbled, rolling her eyes - whether at my apology, Lucy's curiosity, or both, I could not say. "I borrowed money. She came to collect. Eena interfered."

    "Is that why you said you paid your last guide in saints?" Lucy asked, smiling at me. "You were paying off her debt, weren't you?"

    "...It was as much to extricate myself from trouble as anything," I informed her, not entirely happy with the look Lucy was giving me. One that seemed to promise praise and hugs, if I wasn't careful. Not that I'd have minded the latter, but… "It was my fault that they caught Feyra to begin with, besides. She was hiding just fine until I gave her away with my gaze."

    "Hiding from problems doesn't solve them," Lucy pointed out. "You did that. And you did it by paying Feyra for her services, too - which meant she got to keep her pride, and got helped! By someone who could have easily left on her own, if she wasn't a better person than she gives herself credit for!"

    "I'm not the hero you think I am, Lucy," I protested. "If not for the guilt I felt, I might not have interceded at all."

    "But you did help!" Lucy insisted. "Maybe you felt like you had to, but you still did it! Plus, you could have just beaten up the people chasing her, but you helped her deal with the root problem instead!"

    A faint flush touched my cheeks. Partially because of Lucy's compliments, but mostly… "I did fight them, actually…"

    "If you could call that a fight," Feyra scoffed. "She basically played with them - blocked their punches, pushed them into each other, made them sprawl in the mud… I don't think she even threw a single punch."

    "I did throw one of them into the other," I reminded her. "But no. I didn't trust myself to calculate the right force - too much and they might have been permanently injured, too little and they'd have thought me weak."

    "So… You saved Feyra without hurting anyone too badly and paid off her debt?" Lucy asked, eyes sparkling.

    "I threw about a couple ruffians too weak to harm me, and then paid someone for her services so that we could all move on with our lives. And even so, I apparently embarrassed the blonde - Kalice? - enough to swear vengeance upon me. Hardly the story of a hero."

    "I'm pretty sure that's exactly what I would have done, though? Including the part where they're weaker than me! I mean, assuming they would even be willing to try and fight me, anyway - people don't really like doing that, for the most part…"

    "That's because even if they won, anyone who found out would beat their fucking asses for you," Feyra interjected. "I mean, you're the fucking Heroine! The savior of humanity? Doing anything that even has a chance of putting your life at risk would basically make them a traitor to our whole species."

    The loud crack interrupted our conversation, and drew our attention back to the fight happening a scant few feet away from us. Kalice had apparently managed to land herself upon the stone spider's back at some point, and was now engaged in viciously punching it.

    "...You know, it occurs to me that we're talking rather loudly, considering our proximity."

    "Don't worry!" Lucy reassured me. "I'm doing something to the air around us, to keep her from hearing us! It's sort of like my privacy spell, but it uses arcane magic instead of holy magic."

    "I see…" Something to do with sound waves, perhaps? I was fairly sure simply stilling the air immediately between us and her would be enough to keep our voices from reaching. "Well, I suppose there's little for us to do but wait until she's finished pounding it into submission."

    "Or we could talk about how you're totally a better person than you give yourself credit for, while we wait?" Lucy suggested.

    "Or how the public is going to react to the Heroine going all lovey dovey around some unknown highborn," Feyra muttered.

    …Was it too much to hope that Kalice ended her adversary quickly?


    Abigail


    "What are you talking about?" Nivera demanded, narrowing her eyes at Chloe. "How did it 'become relevant'?"

    "Well, I've been looking over some reports while looking at you," Chloe declared, holding up a piece of paper which… I was pretty sure she hadn't been holding a moment before. "I'll circle the relevant bit."

    "Where that come from?" Bailey asked, eyes locked on a pen that Chloe definitely hadn't been holding a second ago. "Wild magic?"

    "Sorta. It's a partial activation," Chloe explained, with a grin. "You know how my clothes disappear and reappear when I transform? It's basically that, but harder."

    "Harder is an understatement… Isn't that supposed to be insanely difficult?" Partial activation of wild magic basically meant complete mastery over it! It took a ton of training. From what I'd been told, anyway. I hadn't exactly ever tried to learn, since it was kinda useless for succubi - I mean, what was I going to do with it? Learn to fly without using my wings? Maybe try to taste lust without eating it?

    "It's like needing to sneeze, starting to sneeze, and then just… stopping your sneeze?" Chloe explained. "Without using your hands. Except to do stuff like this!" Her fingers morphed into claws - claws which probably looked pretty small and cute when she was a fox, but which looked pretty damn vicious when sized up. "Oh, and not to brag, but it's way harder with storage spaces. I mean, it's meant to store all my stuff when I transform, and stop storing it when I turn back, so when I want to put something in or take something out I basically have to keep track of everything I don't want it to suck in or spit out."

    "Can we please focus on the report?" Nivera interrupted.

    "Right…" The absolutely ridiculous level of control Chloe had over her wild magic had thrown me for a bit of a loop, but… "What the hell's all this about someone putting the idea of firing your dam into Devilla's head? And how's it relevant now?"

    "Alira Aleesendra," Nivera told me, all but growling the name. Even Bailey was looking at her weird for that one!

    "She used to be the general of the ninetieth floor," Chloe told me, lowering her voice to a whisper as she handed over the report. "She was in charge of internal affairs and royal prestige. Which basically meant keeping an eye on how people are doing in the tower - y'know, making sure they're all distracted by their day to day lives, and not panicking about the inevitable demise of our species, or plotting a rebellion. Which… she's still sorta doing? Even though Illa kicked her out of office, and stripped her entire bloodline of any and all right to hold government positions. Revenge for the whole 'you should totally fire Niv's dam' thing - which, to be fair, Alira suggested purely because the two of them had a serious rivalry going on? So it wasn't like Illa wasn't right to be mad. She might have gone a little bit too far by physically throwing Alira out of her office, though. And down a bunch of stairs. She uh… kinda broke a couple bones on the way down…"

    "Don't feel bad for her," Nivera snarled, through gritted teeth. "She was also in charge of maintaining Devilla's public image. Another thing she's still doing, by the way - unless you think it's a coincidence that every single mistake Devilla makes somehow ends up being common knowledge? That everyone in the tower knows how she treats her maids, for example. Or that she skips supposedly 'important' meetings where absolutely nothing gets done, because nothing can get done, because we're all fucking trapped in a tower - but obviously the real reason nothing gets done is because the queen who was never actually taught how to rule wasn't there! And everyone thinks she should just go out there and reclaim our lands, nevermind all the issues with doing so! You know, like the fact that there's a giant wasteland stretching in every direction, all around us? But why not just pile all the blame on Devilla? The generals get a fucking lightning rod for the public's hatred, Alira gets her fucking revenge on a child who threw a tantrum, and the only one who has to suffer is the girl who's going to die for everyone's sake, anyway, because she cares too much to abandon us all to our fates! And now her own fucking spymaster is meeting with Alira, for some Fallen forsaken reason, and we're probably going to see a whole new round of terrible rumors, right when Devilla's getting back on her feet!"

    "Niv has…. feelings on the matter," Chloe added.

    Yeah… That was kinda obvious. Not that I could blame her. I'd kinda always taken it for granted that Devilla was an incompetent brat who wouldn't know how to lead someone down a one-way hallway, but… Now? I was starting to question where exactly that idea had come from. Not because it wasn't true - Devilla still didn't strike me as a leader, even with all her other improvements - but… well, it wasn't really her fault, from the sound of it? She'd been raised as a puppet, not a queen, but she was still the one getting all the blame. For everything.

    There was something a bit more immediately concerning, though.

    "Spymaster?" Bailey questioned, tilting her head to the side. Trust her to cut right to the heart of things.

    "General Araina," Nivera grumbled. "From floor twenty. Though she's really more like Devilla's gossip hound. The girl has an unhealthy obsession with what people think of her…"

    "Had," I said. "She told Araina to stop with that a couple days ago." Which was probably for the best, considering what people tended to say. I'd heard the rumors about Devilla spying on her populace, long before I'd even become her maid. People were actually pretty split on whether they believed it, mostly because there weren't heads flying in every direction, despite all the crap people said. Personally? Knowing it was true? And taking into account everything Nivera had told me… Well, I was starting to realize that maybe I hadn't put enough thought into what that actually meant. What listening to everyone must have done to her, all these years… "These self esteem issues really aren't new, are they?"

    "No," Nivera confirmed. "They're not. And if we don't stop Araina from doing… whatever the fuck she's trying to do? They're going to get a whole lot worse."

    "Well, then…" Chloe grinned. "It's a good thing I know Araina's dinner plans, isn't it?"

    For those who have forgotten, Kalice was last seen in chapter 12, while Araina is from chapter 11.

    I think my favorite part of this chapter is actually the bit where Lucy tells Devilla not to get mad at Feyra. Mostly because of how it shows off the dynamic between the two of them - that Lucy isn't the sort to show favoritism when it comes to enacting her ideals, no matter how she feels about "Eena," and that Devilla is willing to listen to Lucy even when she doesn't really want to. And she kinda has a reason not to? Feyra's been pretty bitchy to her, and Devilla's reaction here was more or less the result of a standing issue! But Lucy doesn't know that, and since Devilla wasn't willing to share that fact… she responded as reasonably as she could.

    For Abigail's half, partial activation of wild magic is something I've been planning to introduce for a while now. Like Abigail says, it's meant to be a difficult technique that takes a lot of practice and concentration to get right - and depending on the wild magic at your disposal, it can be either incredibly useful or almost completely useless. (Devilla would love to know about that flying without wings trick, though!)

    And then there's Alira. Another plot wrinkle I've been planning for a while. You might remember Devilla mentioning that bloodline she stripped of power? Well, trust her to only focus on the bits she did wrong…

    This is the last big reveal about Devilla's past I've got planned, by the way. At least in terms of adding context to her past behavior? From here on, we'll be focusing more on fixing stuff in the present, and maybe seeing some of what she actually did do wrong in the past. (My goal so far hasn't been to excuse any of her actions, but rather to add more depth to her character. I also wanted to make it clear that Devilla's changes aren't a result of her being overwritten by her past life memories, but rather her growing as a person thanks to new information.)

    I might have to skip next week's update. I've only written up to chapter 33, and I'm really trying to keep at least 2 chapters in my Patreon buffer. It basically comes down to whether I can finish writing chapter 34 today, and still get chapter 35 done by next week. It's... possible? But I'm really trying not to push myself too hard, because I don't want to burn myself out. Depression keeps getting in the way, as it stands...

    Regardless, I want to thank you all for reading, with a special shout out for all of you who've left likes or even comments! Also a special thanks to FallingLeaf for proofreading, and Lulla for beta reading, while I'm at it!
     
  • Threadmarks
    • Well now.

    Praying for Alira's slow and painful death in 3...2...1...
     
    Kylia Quilor said:
    Praying for Alira's slow and painful death in 3...2...1...
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    Hmm, that feels to merciful for this type of person to me. Please Forgive me for feeling that we need to add in some humiliation, a dash of eternal shame, and one case of soul imprisonment in a statue commemorating the humiliating shame in such a way that things only get worse for Alira if she somehow escapes said punishment.

    This might be enough of an example that no one gets similar ideas for Devillas lifetime or at least a few generations of Mamono.
     
    X-777TheReQUium said:
    Hmm, that feels to merciful for this type of person to me. Please Forgive me for feeling that we need to add in some humiliation, a dash of eternal shame, and one case of soul imprisonment in a statue commemorating the humiliating shame in such a way that things only get worse for Alira if she somehow escapes said punishment.

    This might be enough of an example that no one gets similar ideas for Devillas lifetime or at least a few generations of Mamono.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...


    I like the way you think.
     
    Chapter 33
  • Threadmarks

    • Devilla


    Kalice's enemy did not meet its end swiftly, or quietly. Instead, it ended after what must have been a hundred blows, with a loud crack, and a squelch as her armored fist broke through its armor and smashed through its flesh, bringing it to an ignoble end.

    I barely noticed, however, more preoccupied with the dreadful words that had most recently slipped from Lucy's mouth.

    "So why didn't you want me to see you outside of heels, anyway?"

    "That's…" I hesitated, not quite able to look Lucy in the eyes, even as she squeezed my arm against her armored chest.

    Partially because I hadn't put my heels back on yet, and would have had to look slightly upward to do so.

    "You don't have to tell me if you don't want," she assured me, her voice filled with an odd mixture of innocence and determination - as if she were readying herself to keep me safe from whatever unknown foe might try and drag the answer from my lips.

    "It's fine," I assured her, still attempting to figure out how best to phrase things. How to tell her that I simply didn't like the fact that she was taller than me. In the end, there really weren't any clever phrases I could use to work around it. Not if I wanted to be upfront with her. "I simply… dislike being seen as small. It's ridiculous, I know, but-"

    "It's not ridiculous!" Lucy protested, squeezing my hand. "I might not get it, but if it bothers you, then it bothers you, right? It doesn't matter if there's a huge reason, or a tiny one! Just that it's important to you!"

    "Not to interrupt," Feyra interrupted, "but has anyone noticed the lack of crashing or cursing over the last couple seconds? Because I think the battle's over, one way or another."

    "We'll discuss this later, alright?" I promised, honestly rather thankful for an excuse to put things off, if only because I didn't know what to say. It wasn't as if there was some grand reason for my distaste of being short. I suppose if one were to try and analyze me, they might claim it was a physical representation of my inability to measure up to my mother, or ancestors in general… but that was likely assigning too much depth to a simple issue of vanity.

    Regardless, it was best to think about that later. For now, I was eager to slip back into the comforting embrace of my heels, withdrawing them from my pack and utilizing my magic to buckle them without bending down. The restoration of my height was perhaps a little more assuring than I wanted to think about, in the moment - and the warm and caring gaze that Lucy was sending my way certainly wasn't helping. All it did was remind me that I was making her worry over nothing, just because I couldn't come out and admit to my flaws. I did my best to ignore all of the above, though, as I walked past the limits of Lucy's sound seal and towards the assumedly victorious Kalice.

    "Ugh," came her voice. "You interlopers still haven't left yet? If you were hoping to pick off a weakened enemy, you're too late for the spider, and far too early for… " Kalice trailed off, crossing her arms and looking me over. Despite knowing that she couldn't hurt me, the blue ichor leaking from her gauntlets did add a certain element of intimidation to her look. "You."

    "You remember me, then," I confirmed, arching an eyebrow at her cold reception. "I do hope you aren't planning to use this as an opportunity to make good on your threat to get back at me?"

    She scoffed. "As if I'd waste my time on petty revenge. What money's there to be made in that? I just said that in order to save some face in front of the goons. What about you? Here to humiliate me some more? Or did you only do that to impress that lumbering potion addict?"

    "I'm not an addict!" Feyra protested, emerging from the forest behind me. Sans horse, I noted. "I just… need them. To feel like myself, alright?"

    "...So she's here, too, hmmm?" Kalice asked, keeping her attention on me. "Let me guess - you enjoy playing her knight in shining armor? Careful she doesn't drain your wallet dry - anyone who'd borrow from a loan shark to get something that makes them feel good is an addict, no matter what they say."

    "We're going on a mission together, if you must know," I informed her, narrowing my eyes. While I didn't entirely disagree with her words, I got the impression that Feyra was 'addicted' in much the same way a person might be 'addicted' to their antidepressants. Her friends obviously condoned her medicinal use of the potions, after all… Though, by that same token, I did believe Feyra had a problem of sorts - specifically with her pride, which was severely detrimental to her wellbeing, considering she went so far as to go to a loan shark when her actual potion supplier was obviously more than willing to help her out. "I imagine she'll be able to pay for her own potions, without my input, when all is said and done."

    "If you're going on a mission, then why are you here?" Kalice demanded.

    "To ensure an ideal ending to your fight," I answered honestly. Not that I was entirely sure why I cared, at this point. "And to tie up loose ends, in regards to your ill intentions towards me."

    Kalice flinched at my words, before scowling. "Is that some sort of threat?"

    "I believe you're the one who threatened me," I reminded her, rolling my eyes at her dramatics. "I simply wished to see if you'd keep to it. If you're unwilling to act upon your hostilities, though, then I don't suppose they matter much in the end."

    "So, in other words, you've got no business with me?"

    "...I suppose not," I confirmed, glancing at Feyra. I considered suggesting that an apology was in order, but feared that it would come across as an attempt to ingratiate myself, or some such. Perhaps rightly - it wasn't as if I had a reason to care about whether the girl's honor was insulted. Even if Kalice's attitude did rub me the wrong way.

    "Then maybe shoo?" Kalice proposed, waving me away with one hand. "I need to dismantle this thing for parts before any predators come in."

    "Happily," Feyra interrupted, glaring at me when I opened my mouth to reply.

    "Couldn't you be a bit nicer?" came Lucy's voice, preempting my somewhat reluctant agreement. "I know Eena didn't phrase it very well, but she was really worried about your well being, you know? She's the one who heard what sounded like trouble - and even though she had a bad time with you before, she wouldn't have even hesitated to lend a hand if things had gone wrong in your battle!"

    "Oh, great," Kalice muttered, directing her attention past me and towards Lucy, who was pushing her way through the branches of a tree. "Ano…ther…. Heroine?!"

    "That's me," Lucy confirmed. "And you're Kalice, right?"

    "Y-yes, Heroine!" Kalice replied, giving Lucy a nervous smile. She looked deathly pale. "I-I'm so sorry, I didn't know that you were there, or-"

    "Or you would have treated my traveling companions nicer?" Lucy interrupted. "You shouldn't be so mean to people who want to help you, whether I'm there or not!"

    "I understand, Heroine," Kalice said, bowing her head. "I was in the wrong. Would a donation to the church help to make amends for my mistake? I'll gladly donate all my proceeds from this request, if so. Or even if not so! I'll do it! I mean, it's the least I can do to thank the Heroine for watching over me as I fought. I'm sure your presence brought the Goddess's benevolence down on me, just as your own forbearance has kept her judgment of my errors at bay."

    Lucy nodded. Not that anyone but me saw it. Kalice's head was bowed so low I doubted she could see much past the obstacle that was her chest, while Feyra had her head in her hands and seemed to be muttering a prayer for the Goddess's mercy.

    It wasn't just Lucy's nod they missed, though. It was the sad look in her eyes, and the forced smile on her face as she said, "I'm sure you'll do better in the future! Just remember that the Goddess is always watching, even when I'm not, okay? And try to do your best!"

    "Yes, Heroine! I promise, Heroine! I'll do my best, Heroine!" Kalice declared, her head still lowered.

    Lucy nodded again. To an audience of one, yet again. "Come on Eena, Feyra. We've got a journey to get back to! And a horse, which I probably shouldn't have left alone!"

    "...Did you seriously leave our only mount in a forest of deadly monsters?" I asked, exasperation laced through my tone. Not that I really had the heart to be upset with Lucy, in the moment, but I thought I understood now why she so treasured my willingness to go against her. Far be it from me to deny her that bit of normality.

    "I'll hurry back!"

    I let out a sigh, before narrowing my eyes at Kalice and Feyra alike. I had quite a bit I wanted to say to them both. It could wait, though. For now, I needed to talk to Lucy about what just happened - and maybe work at restoring her real smile, while I was at it.

    Moving after Lucy, I copied Lucy's sound seal as soon as I was out of Kalice's sight - a wall of magic, which saturated the air and refuted the progression of sound waves from our side of it. My understanding of the physics involved was sub-par, so it was surely taking more energy to maintain than if I could properly dictate my wants, but the cost was ultimately negligible regardless. Saturating the air itself took more out of me than any active effect thereafter, and I could easily afford that a thousand times over.

    More important than the details of my magic was the expression on Lucy's face when I found her, holding the horse's reins. Her sad smile had fallen by the wayside, the mask of joy discarded in favor of downcast eyes and furrowed brow.

    "Is it always like that?" I asked, before I could stop myself. "So blinded by your title that they can't see the girl who simply wishes to help?"

    "Except with you," Lucy confirmed. "And Feyra, I guess? But it's different with her…"

    "She treats you as the Heroine," I remarked, even as I felt Feyra stepping through my magical field.

    "That's because she is the Heroine. Chosen of the Goddess? Heroine of humanity? The most important human on the face of the planet!"

    "But still just a human, all the same," I pointed out. "One who grows lonely. One who wishes for companionship - friendship. And who doesn't deserve to be treated like an… outsider."

    "It's fine, Eena," Lucy tried to assure me with a smile. But it was the same downcast smile that I had seen before.

    "Aren't you the one who told me not to lie?" I protested. "How can it be fine when you're alienated?"

    "I have you," she pointed out.

    "And you'll continue to have me, for as long as you wish," I promised. "But that does not change the fact that you deserve more. You deserve to be acknowledged as an individual."

    "It's… I won't say it's fine," Lucy replied, shaking her head. "Or that I don't hate it. But you're more than I ever had before? And that makes me really happy! It gives me hope that I'll find even more people who will accept me some day! And that's good enough for now… Though…" She glanced at Feyra.

    "Like I don't have enough trouble without being known as the Heroine's cursed pity project," Feyra groaned. "I don't need everyone looking my way whenever you make a blasphemous comment in public, alright? I have enough problems surviving already, without people thinking I'm corrupting their precious Heroine."

    "And yet you're here," I pointed out. "Being seen on a mission with her. Because you care about her wellbeing."

    "Only because it'll be even worse if she goes off and dies in some hairbrained scheme, and people find out that I didn't do anything to prevent it!"

    "I don't think anyone knows we spend time together, though," Lucy pointed out. "I mean, I even avoid defending you, just because I know you don't like it."

    "Is that why you never mentioned her name during the confrontation with Kalice?" I questioned. "I didn't have much time to think of it at the time, but it was rather odd that you didn't protest Feyra being called an addict…"

    "Well, Feyra would have gotten annoyed at me…"

    "And I suppose you take it as a win that Feyra's even willing to express that annoyance at you?" I questioned, before sighing when Lucy gave a nod. "Well, I suppose I can't blame you for taking victories where you can get them… but do note that I refuse to be satisfied with such. You deserve to be seen, Lucy, not just as the Heroine, but as the charming, kind, generous, and pure soul that you are."

    "I'm not sure that's really possible…" Lucy confessed. "But I'd be happy to work towards it with you! Especially since it goes well with my own goal!"

    "Your own goal?" I questioned. Feyra, too, looked curious, arching an eyebrow.

    "Uh-huh!" Lucy gave me a grin - an honest, happy one that lifted my spirits - before stepping forward to take my hand. "To help my friend Eena see herself as the beautiful, charming, sweet, and generous soul that she is!"

    "...I think you're going to have your work cut out for you with that one," I remarked.

    "Seriously…" Feyra agreed.

    "That's alright," Lucy responded. "I mean, I'm already expected to defeat the Demon Queen and end the war - I'm sure beating back the hatred in your heart can't be any more difficult than that! I'll help you conquer those bad feelings of yours, team up with you, and end the threat that faces this world all in one go!"

    …I knew, intellectually, that she was essentially promising to work towards my death. Alongside me, at that. I knew that. What I didn't - couldn't - understand was how in the world she managed to make it sound so endearing.


    Abigail


    I closed the door to my apartment with a sigh, grateful for what little alone time I could get my hands on while Chloe went out to 'case' the restaurant, and Nivera did… something or another? The girl wasn't exactly great at communicating.

    "Something on Maid's mind."

    …Well, relatively alone time. Bailey still had it in her head that she needed to guard me. "Lots. And I really need to sort it out, so if you could maybe be quiet for-"

    "Honey?" a voice called. "Is that you?"

    "...Yeah, Mom, it's me."

    "Back from work already?" Mom asked, walking into the main living space of our apartment, to greet me. "I thought Queen Devilla was running you ragged, of late?"

    "I never said that!" I protested, crossing my arms.

    "I have eyes, Abigail," Mom replied. She probably rolled them at me, too. Not that I could prove it, with her stupid pitch black succubus eyes. "You've been exhausted, lately, for reasons you won't even speak of. She isn't pressuring you to do anything untoward, is she?"

    "She wouldn't," I replied quickly, glancing at Bailey. I half expected the wolf girl to start growling at mom for the accusation, but she just stood there, back ramrod straight. Even her tail was still!

    Then again, she didn't seem to really like going against Mom, anyway. Something about it being her territory… Which…. Crap. Meant I had to be the one to growl at her, huh? Metaphorically, anyway. "Devilla wouldn't make me do anything I'm not comfortable with. Hell, I'm pretty sure she'd be happier if I stopped pushing myself for her sake."

    "Really?" Mom asked, raising a brow at me. "That doesn't sound like the queen I know."

    "Well, maybe that's because you don't know her like I do!" I… snapped. Shit. That wasn't good. Mom was totally going to do the whole hands on her hips, 'now you listen to me, young lady' thing, wasn't she? That's what she'd normally do. Except… for some reason, she was only raising one of her eyebrows?

    "It seems like you have pretty strong feelings on the matter," she remarked, instead of giving me the lecture I expected. "You know, I have noticed that you can't stop talking about her, lately. Even if it is mostly complaints…"

    "I guess?" I agreed, not really sure what her point was. It was probably better not to look a gift horse in the mouth, though. Mom had a way of making me feel like a little kid again when she got mad at me. "I just think she's trying harder than anyone gives her credit for. And maybe… maybe there's a reason she wasn't trying, before, I guess? Maybe it's just because nobody ever gave her a chance."

    "Before you?"

    "That's not what I… I mean, she's just… I've just been learning a lot about her, alright? And I don't think things are as simple as everyone makes them out to be."

    "Very little in the world ever is," Mom agreed. Or at least I thought she agreed? The look she was giving me seemed to imply there was something more to it. Something I was missing. "I'll try to keep an open mind about Devilla, dear. She was different than I expected when we met, after all. But make sure you keep your eyes open, alright? Just because she treats you differently doesn't mean she's actually changed."

    "She has changed," I insisted, stomping my foot. Which… wow, childish much? But Mom always brought that out in me.

    …I probably needed to see about getting my own place, didn't I?

    "Of course, dear," Mom said, in that tone of voice that said she was humoring me as much as anything.

    "Wait. You didn't use her title? Why didn't you use her title? You always use her title."

    "Just… getting used to it, I suppose," Mom replied. "Just in case…"

    "In case of what?" I asked. Mom just laughed and turned towards the kitchen.

    "How about I make us breakfast for dinner, hmm? Maybe some of the same dishes you taught Devilla to make? And you can tell me all the ways she's different than I think while we eat."

    "...Okay?" I replied, staring at her back in confusion as she walked away from me. "What was that about?"

    Bailey met my question with a blank stare. I thought that was all I was going to get out of her. I kinda wish that I was all I got out of her, because when she finally did speak it only confused me more. "Said nobody knows what Maid thinks of Queen. Starting to think Maid doesn't know, either…"

    What the hell?


    And we're back! Writer's block - and depression - really kicked my ass on this chapter. Specifically during part of Devilla's section, where Lucy came out to defend her - our poor Heroine was put in a really awkward situation, which resulted in the writing feeling awkward, if that makes any sense? (She wants to stand up for Feyra, but Feyra will get really mad if Lucy fights for her, but she can't just stay silent, but when she tries to interfere it ends up like this and she hates it.) It took me several days to push through just that small section.

    Abigail's section, by contrast, took me maybe two hours. It also feels a bit odd to me, but more because talking with her mom brings out a different side of Abigail than what I'm used to. It was a lot simpler to write, regardless - and a lot more fun~!

    I'm a bit worried that the story's pace may have slowed down too much, of late, between Devilla's side largely focusing on cute interactions and Abigail's being all about exposition. I'm not sure if it's a concern anyone else shares, but I'm happy to say that we'll be moving into actual plot progression territory going forward.

    Thanks, as always, to FallingLeaf for proofreading and Lulla for beta reading! And to all of you for reading, while I'm at it. :)

    PS: Depression is a bit better, and I've written up to chapter 35 on Patreon! Which, one, means you can read ahead for as little as a dollar, but also two, means that the next two weeks of updates will be released at the usual time!
     
  • Threadmarks
    • Hey, another great chapter!


    I've been hit by introspective spell, yesterday, while on a train going home from a regretfully short vacation, visiting my girlfriend. I got a semi-offtopic rambly thought from it, which I don't know where to share at the moment, so, let me indulge it, pretty please.

    When I don't read Worm fanfiction about an abused girl rising above her shitty situation to become the best hero she can be, I read plenty of self insert stories and occasional peggy sue. Why exactly these stories are popular in general is a different topic entirely. What is of interest here is why do I find them so fascinating.

    Many stories, especially HP fanfiction tends to have main characters that don't behave like children. Peggy Sue and SI/isekai protagonists especially are more often than not are adults dealing with adult problems from a position of being seen and treated as children, whether it hinders or helps their efforts. It's never about nostalgia of childhood for me, because I can't experience it. But I can't help but wonder if for a person who experienced parentification, neglect or other forms of abuse the adventures of heroic, independent children not only with agency but also success running their childhood lives against all odds might feel therapeutic. Being adult is not easy for an average person and it can be absolutely soul crushing for those who didn't have a normal childhood, but I don't want to be coddled and wrapped in a warm blanket – I want to be the mistress of my own fate. Now, only I can be the parent to my inner child, that I deserved when I was a kid, no relationship with a parent, friend or beloved can change that.
    That said, I wouldn't say no to more adult characters with experiences similar to mine. Child and teen characters often come with a lot of complications, that fandoms fail to handle with dignity and grace they deserve.

    Another aspect to it, relevant to Peggy Sue characters, but more often to SIs is secrecy, the double life of being a person, and another more complete and real person, but only in secrecy of their own mind, because the truth could be too dangerous. Being compelled to work for better future under the guise of secrecy, hiding your thoughts from the powerful actors, that would abuse or misuse your knowledge, would hurt you or people you care about. Or it could be something as simple as rejection, disbelief, distrust or some other form of estrangement. The fear o such rejection is enough to keep the secret tightly locked.

    While not exclusively that, it strikes me as a very trans (and also queer, as well peeople with mental health conditions) experience. Maybe less so today for some parts of the world, but very real to those who grew up over the last 30 years or more. Can't help but think this is why it is so appealing to me.

    Lastly, I am thankful for all these lesbian romantic stories I've got to read recently.

    I spent many years not falling in love and not being sure if I ever will. I spent a long, long time thinking of myself as asexual, that changing the frame of reference to call myself a lesbian is a bit strange. And yet when I could hold the hand of a person I love, the label to describe me was the least important thing.

    All these girl love stories definitely helped in their small ways to make me feel more certain and more bold. 😉 I was the normal one, it felt right to be together with her.
    Definitely, a feeling worth fighting for and worth writing about.

    This book about Devilla teaches a lot of good lessons and doesn't shy away from digging deep into painful feelings to help the characters learn to be better people. To be uncompromisingly kind and honest, to follow the passions and to help another feel comfortable.
     
    Last edited:
    Lain said:
    Hey, another great chapter!


    I've been hit by introspective spell, yesterday, while on a train going home from a regretfully short vacation, visiting my girlfriend. I got a semi-offtopic rambly thought from it, which I don't know where to share at the moment, so, let me indulge it, pretty please.

    When I don't read Worm fanfiction about an abused girl rising above her shitty situation to become the best hero she can be, I read plenty of self insert stories and occasional peggy sue. Why exactly these stories are popular in general is a different topic entirely. What is of interest here is why do I find them so fascinating.

    Many stories, especially HP fanfiction tends to have main characters that don't behave like children. Peggy Sue and SI/isekai protagonists especially are more often than not are adults dealing with adult problems from a position of being seen and treated as children, whether it hinders or helps their efforts. It's never about nostalgia of childhood for me, because I can't experience it. But I can't help but wonder if for a person who experienced parentification, neglect or other forms of abuse the adventures of heroic, independent children not only with agency but also success running their childhood lives against all odds might feel therapeutic. Being adult is not easy for an average person and it can be absolutely soul crushing for those who didn't have a normal childhood, but I don't want to be coddled and wrapped in a warm blanket – I want to be the mistress of my own fate. Now, only I can be the parent to my inner child, that I deserved when I was a kid, no relationship with a parent, friend or beloved can change that.
    That said, I wouldn't say no to more adult characters with experiences similar to mine. Child and teen characters often come with a lot of complications, that fandoms fail to handle with dignity and grace they deserve.

    Another aspect to it, relevant to Peggy Sue characters, but more often to SIs is secrecy, the double life of being a person, and another more complete and real person, but only in secrecy of their own mind, because the truth could be too dangerous. Being compelled to work for better future under the guise of secrecy, hiding your thoughts from the powerful actors, that would abuse or misuse your knowledge, would hurt you or people you care about. Or it could be something as simple as rejection, disbelief, distrust or some other form of estrangement. The fear o such rejection is enough to hold

    While not exclusively that, it strikes me as a very trans (and also queer, as well mental conditions) experience. Maybe less so today for some parts of the world, but very real to those who grew up over the last 30 years or more. Can't help but think this is why it is so appealing to me.

    Lastly, I am thankful for all these lesbian romantic stories I've got to read recently.

    I spent many years not falling in love and not being sure if I ever will. I spent a long, long time thinking of myself as asexual, that changing the frame of reference to call myself a lesbian is a bit strange. And yet when I can hold the hand of a person I love, the label to describe me was the least important thing.

    All these girl love stories definitely helped in their small ways to make me feel more certain and more bold. 😉 I was the normal one, it felt right to be together with her.
    Definitely, a feeling worth fighting for and worth writing about.

    This book about Devilla teaches a lot of good lessons and doesn't shy away from digging deep into painful feelings to help the characters learn to be better people. To be uncompromisingly kind and honest, to follow the passions and to help another feel comfortable.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    If Demon Queened has helped, in any way shape or form, then I'm all the happier to have written and shared it.❤️‍🔥
     
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