Chronicles of a Young Woman's Love Life
- Thread starter Optimal Robotics
- Start date
Kinda giving your adversary more ammunition here, my dude.
Pinkie "We can trust the changeling because they get more by working with us than by turning against us! Their queen should be an utter irrational moron to try it. Enlightened self something or whatever!"
Tanya, ears perking up "Did you say enlightened self-interest by chance? Working with you is going even more delightful that I had imagined"
Yearling, shuddering from hundreds of miles away "Oh no, something terrible is happening, I can tell it."
There is a lot of difference between tolerating the presence of someone in your territory because your highest authority ordered it and actually interacting with them in a meaningful manner.
While Pinkie stipend is certainly generous, she will have to actually do some work to get it.
Tanya is a madam in an MLP cross... a combination I would have never imagined. And yet it makes total sense and it's awesome.
"Bye mom, bye pops, I'm off to help the soul-sucking bugs to become accepted by the wider community! I will get a suspiciously high amount of money for it! And an unspecified amount of cuddles with one or more new partners, I haven't decided yet! Also I will not return home for two or three weeks so don't wait up for me!"
sigh.. "Sure dear, just try to be saf... to be yourself ok?"
I think Tanya regressed to her old training officer habits and is now operating under the "I don't care how scared or resentful of me they are, as long as they are alive and with the skill to survive" principle.
Which is fair considering how close to destruction the changeling were, but it's also pretty sad.
Mgunh1
Not an AI, honest!
- Location
- Northern Luna Base, Module 5, Sublevel 15
*Narrows eyes* "Someone is seducing my wife!"
Jack_Trade
Chasing the Green Fairy
- Location
- Scotland
Y'know speaking of love triangles, I wonder if that dragon that tried to marry Tanya is gonna show up.
This Dragon in case anyone doesn't remember.
Trimontar
Weed Dragon
- Location
- Behind You
The dragon I want to say was Torch the current dragon lord
blood fiend?
It only took her being turned into an empathic and parasitic species to understand and cultivate the power of love. How very Tanya.
It only took her being turned into an empathic and parasitic species to understand and cultivate the power of love. How very Tanya.
Chapter 10: Traveling
So my plan for the plays was to have a couple of sappy romances to butter up all the ponies and get them in the mood for, uh, well... at least a chaste hug. The first play was about forbidden love and how sincerity in relationships can win the day. A little on the nose, but that's nothing compared to the second one. For that one I drew from something that existed a few hundred years before I had even arrived in Equestria. One of the few plays personally approved by Celestia herself, in fact!
It features an interracial romance that the local sheriff tries to end. The shenanigans that ensued slowly escalating in both scope and improbability until Celestia herself had to come lay down the law that this romance will. Be. Allowed! Going so far as to even officiate the wedding for the finale. I made sure to keep the earth pony and unicorn backgrounds unchanged though. I'm not trying to get lynched for actual heresy.
Things did not go as well as I was hoping they would, though... I was hoping for a high school level performance at minimum. What actually happened was far too many technical failures, and everybody forgetting their lines so often that I had to literally feed them to the actors with encoded love from under the stage. In the end it felt more like a kindergarten level production.
It was after this disaster that I found out, to my utter bucking horror, that nobody except my infiltrators know how to modulate their love intake! What was Chrysalis even doing with these kids, raising child soldiers!? Yes. Yes she was. I then spent the next couple hours completely reworking my cuddle tent concept into something resembling training their control. And then came the first violent altercation. Well at least it took this long.
A colorful assortment of characters had chased one of my drones back to the stage. Apparently, she had fallen back into old habits when trying to talk to a mare she liked. Or at least that's the most generous interpretation of events as they were told. I simply looked over to regard her with utter dispassion and she proceeded to embarrass us both in front of the locals by freaking out. Honestly, I would've just sent her back to the hive. I'm not Chrysalis...
The second play, at least, went marginally better than the first. Got all the way up to grade school level quality. Then I stole the scene as Celestia. Came swooping in from nowhere, saving the two cornered lovebirds with illusory fire and fury. I had a painted target backstage where I would be aiming my underpowered combat spells at, and the sheriff pretended to get hit by them as I stripped her of her titles. When it came time for me to perform the 'marriage' between the couple at the end I made sure to read all my official lines as "radda radda radda." I didn't want to marry my two changelings by accident after all. Holy matrimony would have long lasting consequences for them! Honestly, wouldn't it be better if it were two infiltrators who know how to act, instead of Nunya and a random drone she requested?
In between these two plays I found out that an impromptu farmer's market had popped up in front of the stage, along with several other vendors. This served to attract a steady stream of customers to the cuddle tent throughout the day, where I was previously expecting none. That was very good news! Asking around on how this happened revealed that it was a pink party pony that arranged all this. One that I even managed to snag for her continued services!
Though my enthusiasm for this success was dampened by a few factors. First one being that she was apparently friends with those aforementioned colorful characters. They seemed quite concerned about my intentions and capabilities when we last interacted. Normally a commendable trait when dealing with nominally hostile parties, but really darned inconvenient to the reparation and peace efforts! And then there's the other issue with her...
It's a new day today. In-between the two plays, and one of my infiltrators was filling me in on my new hire's identity.
"What do you mean she's one of the elements of Harmony?! Aren't those things kept under lock and key in the capital?" The infiltrator in front of me shifts uncomfortably.
"Our intelligence indicates she's the wielder of the element of joy. Our prewar intelligence that is... During the invasion of Canterlot she quickly knocked out thirty of our drones all by herself, laughing all the while." She shudders in fear before continuing. "Furthermore, she hasn't exuded any emotion other than unrelenting joy. She may be incapable of anything else, in fact. My Queen, are you sure that the jewels in Canterlot aren't just decoys?" This is very troubling. And it's not something I can just dismiss due to my experience in my past life interacting with a 'divine' artifact. I'm not sure if this would be the same kind of magic, but half of the Elements of Harmony are explicitly emotion based. Hmm...
"I'm not worried about her. She was only violent towards us when presented with violence. Heck, she has even helped us unbidden in our endeavors. Send her in." She salutes and opens the door to my chambers. My hypothesis about this pony is proven correct in the following conversation. No hostile, false, or disrespectful moves were made on her part towards me or mine. I managed to pry out of her that she wouldn't be able to be quite as successful in the other towns we'd be visiting, so I lured some other vendors on the road with us. I made sure to treat everypony with respect and strict guest rights. I even got my errant drone back from the constabulary by leveraging their own unwillingness to feed her against them! Everything was going exactly according to plan...
That is until the following morning, when I found out that another element bearer was tagging along with us in Pinkie Pie's wagon!
It was quite nerve-wracking to be walking around with these Changelings at first. Though strangely enough, not any more so than any other new person. It helps when I start viewing their behavior as I would an animal's. Starving, fearful, and lashing out fits their behavior all too well. That combined with the pamphlet I got in town makes me shudder in horror and pity when I look at their exoskeletal holes for too long.
It's enough to make you just wanna go up and hug them! Which I did, in fact. A few times already! I put my love into it to really make them feel wanted. I was a little bit tired afterwards, but nothing too bad... Luckily they don't react too aggressively when you do that to them, only two seconds of anemic flailing followed by slackened acceptance. I wouldn't dare do that to a hungry bear, but that's just the kind of advantage you get when dealing with civilized folks, all the while being more used to interacting with animals!
After a couple hours of walking out of town, I'm summoned to walk side by side with the queen. Oh my...
"Y-yes your m-m-majesty?" I stutter as I trot up to her. I fail to suppress a flinch at the stuttering.
"It has come to my attention that I have two Element Bearers tagging along in my camp even though I only invited one. And I didn't know Pinkie as anything other than an event planner at the time."
"Oh, th-that. Um, that w-was because m-me and Twilight Sparkle had a disagr-greement about your i-intentions. She just doesn't know what it's like to be sc-scared all the time. W-We got into an argument, and I'm here because I need my sp-space while I cool off."
"Oh." She looks somewhat taken aback. "Well, could you write the Princesses a letter describing the situation? It would be unfortunate if there were any misunderstandings due to one mare's paranoia."
"S-sure!" I stutter out. Though after I say that I start to look at her. And I mean, really look at her... Past the facade she puts up, to what I can find out with my talent. And what I see is hurt, deep and ragged. Like what I saw with Princess Celestia right before Luna accepted her peace offering, though somehow both old and new...
Without thinking about it, I wrap my hooves around her for the best hug I've given today. Unfortunately, she tenses up under me and telekinetically removes me from her almost instantly.
"I appreciate the sustenance, but I am a married mare." She then dismisses me with a simple flutter of her wing. I make sure to leave posthaste. Married? Oh my goodness! Didn't she come to the wedding with an invitation? Or at least, that's what Twilight said anyways! Ooooh, this has so many implications!!
But first I'll have to write some letters. I'm going to write two as fast as I can. One going to Princess Luna and another to Princess Cadenza. Hopefully I can get Pinkie to write the one to Princess Celestia instead of me... I swear, she can be so flighty sometimes!
AN: Beta credit to Pandora
It features an interracial romance that the local sheriff tries to end. The shenanigans that ensued slowly escalating in both scope and improbability until Celestia herself had to come lay down the law that this romance will. Be. Allowed! Going so far as to even officiate the wedding for the finale. I made sure to keep the earth pony and unicorn backgrounds unchanged though. I'm not trying to get lynched for actual heresy.
Things did not go as well as I was hoping they would, though... I was hoping for a high school level performance at minimum. What actually happened was far too many technical failures, and everybody forgetting their lines so often that I had to literally feed them to the actors with encoded love from under the stage. In the end it felt more like a kindergarten level production.
It was after this disaster that I found out, to my utter bucking horror, that nobody except my infiltrators know how to modulate their love intake! What was Chrysalis even doing with these kids, raising child soldiers!? Yes. Yes she was. I then spent the next couple hours completely reworking my cuddle tent concept into something resembling training their control. And then came the first violent altercation. Well at least it took this long.
A colorful assortment of characters had chased one of my drones back to the stage. Apparently, she had fallen back into old habits when trying to talk to a mare she liked. Or at least that's the most generous interpretation of events as they were told. I simply looked over to regard her with utter dispassion and she proceeded to embarrass us both in front of the locals by freaking out. Honestly, I would've just sent her back to the hive. I'm not Chrysalis...
The second play, at least, went marginally better than the first. Got all the way up to grade school level quality. Then I stole the scene as Celestia. Came swooping in from nowhere, saving the two cornered lovebirds with illusory fire and fury. I had a painted target backstage where I would be aiming my underpowered combat spells at, and the sheriff pretended to get hit by them as I stripped her of her titles. When it came time for me to perform the 'marriage' between the couple at the end I made sure to read all my official lines as "radda radda radda." I didn't want to marry my two changelings by accident after all. Holy matrimony would have long lasting consequences for them! Honestly, wouldn't it be better if it were two infiltrators who know how to act, instead of Nunya and a random drone she requested?
In between these two plays I found out that an impromptu farmer's market had popped up in front of the stage, along with several other vendors. This served to attract a steady stream of customers to the cuddle tent throughout the day, where I was previously expecting none. That was very good news! Asking around on how this happened revealed that it was a pink party pony that arranged all this. One that I even managed to snag for her continued services!
Though my enthusiasm for this success was dampened by a few factors. First one being that she was apparently friends with those aforementioned colorful characters. They seemed quite concerned about my intentions and capabilities when we last interacted. Normally a commendable trait when dealing with nominally hostile parties, but really darned inconvenient to the reparation and peace efforts! And then there's the other issue with her...
It's a new day today. In-between the two plays, and one of my infiltrators was filling me in on my new hire's identity.
"What do you mean she's one of the elements of Harmony?! Aren't those things kept under lock and key in the capital?" The infiltrator in front of me shifts uncomfortably.
"Our intelligence indicates she's the wielder of the element of joy. Our prewar intelligence that is... During the invasion of Canterlot she quickly knocked out thirty of our drones all by herself, laughing all the while." She shudders in fear before continuing. "Furthermore, she hasn't exuded any emotion other than unrelenting joy. She may be incapable of anything else, in fact. My Queen, are you sure that the jewels in Canterlot aren't just decoys?" This is very troubling. And it's not something I can just dismiss due to my experience in my past life interacting with a 'divine' artifact. I'm not sure if this would be the same kind of magic, but half of the Elements of Harmony are explicitly emotion based. Hmm...
"I'm not worried about her. She was only violent towards us when presented with violence. Heck, she has even helped us unbidden in our endeavors. Send her in." She salutes and opens the door to my chambers. My hypothesis about this pony is proven correct in the following conversation. No hostile, false, or disrespectful moves were made on her part towards me or mine. I managed to pry out of her that she wouldn't be able to be quite as successful in the other towns we'd be visiting, so I lured some other vendors on the road with us. I made sure to treat everypony with respect and strict guest rights. I even got my errant drone back from the constabulary by leveraging their own unwillingness to feed her against them! Everything was going exactly according to plan...
That is until the following morning, when I found out that another element bearer was tagging along with us in Pinkie Pie's wagon!
Fluttershy
It was quite nerve-wracking to be walking around with these Changelings at first. Though strangely enough, not any more so than any other new person. It helps when I start viewing their behavior as I would an animal's. Starving, fearful, and lashing out fits their behavior all too well. That combined with the pamphlet I got in town makes me shudder in horror and pity when I look at their exoskeletal holes for too long.
It's enough to make you just wanna go up and hug them! Which I did, in fact. A few times already! I put my love into it to really make them feel wanted. I was a little bit tired afterwards, but nothing too bad... Luckily they don't react too aggressively when you do that to them, only two seconds of anemic flailing followed by slackened acceptance. I wouldn't dare do that to a hungry bear, but that's just the kind of advantage you get when dealing with civilized folks, all the while being more used to interacting with animals!
After a couple hours of walking out of town, I'm summoned to walk side by side with the queen. Oh my...
"Y-yes your m-m-majesty?" I stutter as I trot up to her. I fail to suppress a flinch at the stuttering.
"It has come to my attention that I have two Element Bearers tagging along in my camp even though I only invited one. And I didn't know Pinkie as anything other than an event planner at the time."
"Oh, th-that. Um, that w-was because m-me and Twilight Sparkle had a disagr-greement about your i-intentions. She just doesn't know what it's like to be sc-scared all the time. W-We got into an argument, and I'm here because I need my sp-space while I cool off."
"Oh." She looks somewhat taken aback. "Well, could you write the Princesses a letter describing the situation? It would be unfortunate if there were any misunderstandings due to one mare's paranoia."
"S-sure!" I stutter out. Though after I say that I start to look at her. And I mean, really look at her... Past the facade she puts up, to what I can find out with my talent. And what I see is hurt, deep and ragged. Like what I saw with Princess Celestia right before Luna accepted her peace offering, though somehow both old and new...
Without thinking about it, I wrap my hooves around her for the best hug I've given today. Unfortunately, she tenses up under me and telekinetically removes me from her almost instantly.
"I appreciate the sustenance, but I am a married mare." She then dismisses me with a simple flutter of her wing. I make sure to leave posthaste. Married? Oh my goodness! Didn't she come to the wedding with an invitation? Or at least, that's what Twilight said anyways! Ooooh, this has so many implications!!
But first I'll have to write some letters. I'm going to write two as fast as I can. One going to Princess Luna and another to Princess Cadenza. Hopefully I can get Pinkie to write the one to Princess Celestia instead of me... I swear, she can be so flighty sometimes!
AN: Beta credit to Pandora
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xbox432
Lover of Editing
Oof, yeah, it would seem that Fluttershy was able to see underneath Tanya's mask. And what she saw was TRAUMA. I wonder what the Princesses' reactions will be once they read Flutters' and Pinkie's letters?
Also, aw, Tanya is insisting on maintaining her loyalty to her wife. That's sweet. Hmm, I suppose she's fine with feeding off of ambient love, but only wants to cuddle with Daring? I wonder if others are going to realize that, between the "Tax" she sent Cadance and all the Love she has had to dole out to her new hive, Tanya has been living on a (quite literal) starving deficit?
Also, aw, Tanya is insisting on maintaining her loyalty to her wife. That's sweet. Hmm, I suppose she's fine with feeding off of ambient love, but only wants to cuddle with Daring? I wonder if others are going to realize that, between the "Tax" she sent Cadance and all the Love she has had to dole out to her new hive, Tanya has been living on a (quite literal) starving deficit?
Jack_Trade
Chasing the Green Fairy
- Location
- Scotland
At least some of the changelings have probably figured it out, which probably making them (even more?) fanatically loyal to Tanya even with her leaning so hard into her drill sergeant tendencies.
Tho with no doubt more and more people figuring that fact out as the story continues. I can picture ponies and changelings running off to find Daring to convince her to maybe please make up with her wife already.
Pandora
Gotta say, blood IS as tasty as I make it look~
- Location
- Brazil
Well, some ponies have already noticed the new holes adorning her form as well as some changelings!
I wonder when they will ACTUALLY link the dots between her starting to develop new holes in her body, and her starving herself to care for the new hive, while avoiding excessively feeding from the ponies around her!
Poor Flutters will be pretty sad to realize that. Rainbow and Applejack would probably admire her caring and loyalty for her family, while Rarity would surely be proud of her generosity! Pinkie would like that she is focusing on bringing others more joy, but I have no idea on how Twilight would react...
I didn't even realise that! Let me do some quick math…. So 10% to the Changlings, 10% to the Alicons and let's say 5-10% in general usage.
That's 25-30% of her love reserve! That's why she has holes in her legs now!
Surely Tanya would be familar with the different kinds of love by now?
Or perhaps she has purely focused on romantic love because it's the most potent, and arguably the easiest, or perhaps fastest to induce.
Or perhaps she has purely focused on romantic love because it's the most potent, and arguably the easiest, or perhaps fastest to induce.
- Location
- United States
Could just be that Flutters came on a little strong in an already stressful situation. Then again, Tanya's prefered feeding method has been happy matramony and that has worked to an amazing degree.
Guys I gotta say, the only new hole Tanya got was in her left front hoof. Her love stores are doing fantastic in an absolute sense too. Even in the least generous of interpretations she still has enough raw power to blow up Canterlot castle seven times over.
The only thing I believe I didn't say explicitly say in story was that some of the holes that already closed up left scars. I think one character referred to these while not realizing that.
The only thing I believe I didn't say explicitly say in story was that some of the holes that already closed up left scars. I think one character referred to these while not realizing that.
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RogueInquisitor
Unexpected!
So, how fast can Pinkie and Fluttershy get letters to Canterlot explaining the situation, versus how quickly Twilight and Rainbow can get a letter to Celestia to the effect of "Queen Tanya just left with 2 of the Elements of Harmony," and how long would it take the prinvesses to react to the latter?
Should be addressed in the next couple chapters.
This reaction to an act of genuine, selfless kindness is just so sad actually.
That's not going to be an easy conversation for Yearling. If Tanya is in a bad headspace, hers is agreeably worse.
First she thinks her wife has been replaced, then she realizes that it was really her wife but she had a dark, terrible secret™, after that when Tanya tries to open up to her and ask her help to peacefully integrate her people, she panics, kick her in the face and run away.
And now people tell her that Tanya still succeeded in her plan for peace, alone, and while starving herself because she is just so heartbroken.
Like, every time something happens is a gut punch made of regrets, sense of inadequacy and self doubt.
Chapter 11: Bunneh Business
"I still can't believe anybody would defy a Celestial Edict like that. This is the second time too!" I look over to the pink one from my cozy roost. Is she still going on about that? Power reaches only as far as you make it after all, and it sounds like this 'Celestia' doesn't make the rounds as often as she should. I warble as much into my friend's ear.
"Y-yes Angel, we all know you take an animalistic view to power, but you only need to look at the sun to be reminded of Celestia's." I make a raspberry noise. Yeah, no way anybody's that powerful! They both freeze up at that. Oh, I think I made my friend mad. I hop off her head and dash out of the tent before she can make her displeasure known. She may have a soft and fwuffy extewior, but I don't wanna hear her yell at me ever again. I'm gonna cause some mischief in the bad town while I wait for her to cool off.
First on my order of business is to season a pie I spotted cooling, with a few rabbit pellets. Really liven up these ponies palates! Then I wander around town a bit, eavesdropping for something new about the bug horse things. Not that I had to wait too long... These ponies just love to talk.
"I can't believe those monsters thought they could get away with faking a Celestial Edict!" Looks like an old gossipy mare and her son. "The nerve of them. Too bad they outnumber our guard or else we'd have whipped 'em real good!"
"Mee-ma, are you sure it was a forgery? It used real gold for the lettering and-"
"Pshaw, of course it was fake. No way the Princesses would let these monsters back in after what they did... What's that in your hoof son?"
"Just a pamphlet somepony was handing out..." The walking raisin snatches it from his hoof.
"Changelings And You? What rubbish! Where did you say this was being passed out, son?" I bounce out the window. I'm pretty sure I know where that song and dance is going, and I don't want to be there for it. Going through the town I kick over some potted plants for kicks and then... Go back to my friend? Ah, but I don't want to risk it! She could still be mad at me! I choose to wander around the camp a bit, weaving through all these bug horse things, when suddenly I catch one of their eyes. Oh boy, that doesn't feel good. I know what a predator's gaze feels like! Then she suddenly turns into a female bunny and cutely flutters her eyelashes at me...
You know what? I'm down for that.
My friend would only find me about an hour later, completely exhausted, and resting on top of a pillow.
A couple days later, I'm running around under the stands, as you do, when one of the couples being seated starts whispering in embarrassment.
"Well how was I supposed to know that's not what they meant by love soaked?"
"Relax honey, they didn't seem to mind. They even said it was a good conductor for love magic. They probably just overcharged you a bit." I sniff the air. Smells like estrus. Stupid ponies being weird about sex then, again. I'm not even sure why, even. Not like this hasn't happened about twenty times already since the tour began! I pop my head up to deliver a loud squeak just under their hooves and run away. Ahahahahaha!! Stupid ponies.
My random walking, not really, Of under the bleachers soon found a pair of horse bug things to eavesdrop on next.
"I cannot believe this play harvesting strategy is actually working. It's ridiculous!"
"Well, what did you expect dude? Our new queen had to have fed herself somehow before ruling the hive."
"Well yeah, but she didn't do it as herself, did she? And I don't think asking nicely like this has ever worked for us before."
"...Did Chrysalis even let us try that?" Bored now! Moving on.
Going to mess with the Queen now~! She's mostly been a good sport about things. Doesn't get angry as long as I don't break things, and is a pretty deft paw with her telekinesis. I find her in a room behind the stage.
"You've all come very far in the time we've had to practice the plays I've set out for us." Looks like she's talking to one of the shyer bug horse things. "We're not going to be making professional grade performances by the time we reach the capital, but we will be at least passable by then." I catapult myself off of a tall rack or something straight into her face. She dodges it deftly.
"Oh, it's you again." As the other bug horse thing scampers off I bounce off the wall to buffet her flank, only to be foiled by another dodge. Oh, the way she moves is so unnatural! Her first dodge put her on the path for my poofy self to bounce off of her, but she just switched her momentum around like a particularly unconvincing illusion. What a challenge! We continue like that for a couple minutes before she just catches me with her magic. Awww...
"No pouting, you. I have a play to supervise, still. You're lucky you've never done this when Nunya was in the room with me. She takes physical threats to me very seriously." A few minutes later we're back to my friend's tent.
"Fluttershy, your bunny attacked me again. Please keep a better eye on him. If he disrupts any of the plays I'm putting him in a box until we reach Canterlot."
"Y-yes Q-q-queen Degurechaff. I'm t-terribly sorry ab-bout Angel, he's usually such a g-good b-boy!" She stammers. Oh, she really does care about me. I wave and squeak at her.
"If you say so. Where did Pinkie Pie go?"
"She's sp-pending t-time with another stallion again." My friend stammers out for entirely different reasons, her face turning red.
"Hmm, well, as long as she doesn't exhaust herself. Speaking of, are you entirely sure you don't want to avail yourself of any of those services? You're already feeding several of my drones with your donations."
"I'm s-sure." The Queen stares at her for a few seconds. She starts wilting under the Queen's heavy gaze.
"Well, suit yourself." As she sets me down and leaves. I cheerfully squeak at my friend.
"Oh no you don't mister." As she grabs me. "You're staying right here with me until the plays are done." Then, she snuggles us up into her warm bed. Ah~, life is good!
AN: Beta credit goes to Pandora
"Y-yes Angel, we all know you take an animalistic view to power, but you only need to look at the sun to be reminded of Celestia's." I make a raspberry noise. Yeah, no way anybody's that powerful! They both freeze up at that. Oh, I think I made my friend mad. I hop off her head and dash out of the tent before she can make her displeasure known. She may have a soft and fwuffy extewior, but I don't wanna hear her yell at me ever again. I'm gonna cause some mischief in the bad town while I wait for her to cool off.
First on my order of business is to season a pie I spotted cooling, with a few rabbit pellets. Really liven up these ponies palates! Then I wander around town a bit, eavesdropping for something new about the bug horse things. Not that I had to wait too long... These ponies just love to talk.
"I can't believe those monsters thought they could get away with faking a Celestial Edict!" Looks like an old gossipy mare and her son. "The nerve of them. Too bad they outnumber our guard or else we'd have whipped 'em real good!"
"Mee-ma, are you sure it was a forgery? It used real gold for the lettering and-"
"Pshaw, of course it was fake. No way the Princesses would let these monsters back in after what they did... What's that in your hoof son?"
"Just a pamphlet somepony was handing out..." The walking raisin snatches it from his hoof.
"Changelings And You? What rubbish! Where did you say this was being passed out, son?" I bounce out the window. I'm pretty sure I know where that song and dance is going, and I don't want to be there for it. Going through the town I kick over some potted plants for kicks and then... Go back to my friend? Ah, but I don't want to risk it! She could still be mad at me! I choose to wander around the camp a bit, weaving through all these bug horse things, when suddenly I catch one of their eyes. Oh boy, that doesn't feel good. I know what a predator's gaze feels like! Then she suddenly turns into a female bunny and cutely flutters her eyelashes at me...
You know what? I'm down for that.
My friend would only find me about an hour later, completely exhausted, and resting on top of a pillow.
A couple days later, I'm running around under the stands, as you do, when one of the couples being seated starts whispering in embarrassment.
"Well how was I supposed to know that's not what they meant by love soaked?"
"Relax honey, they didn't seem to mind. They even said it was a good conductor for love magic. They probably just overcharged you a bit." I sniff the air. Smells like estrus. Stupid ponies being weird about sex then, again. I'm not even sure why, even. Not like this hasn't happened about twenty times already since the tour began! I pop my head up to deliver a loud squeak just under their hooves and run away. Ahahahahaha!! Stupid ponies.
My random walking, not really, Of under the bleachers soon found a pair of horse bug things to eavesdrop on next.
"I cannot believe this play harvesting strategy is actually working. It's ridiculous!"
"Well, what did you expect dude? Our new queen had to have fed herself somehow before ruling the hive."
"Well yeah, but she didn't do it as herself, did she? And I don't think asking nicely like this has ever worked for us before."
"...Did Chrysalis even let us try that?" Bored now! Moving on.
Going to mess with the Queen now~! She's mostly been a good sport about things. Doesn't get angry as long as I don't break things, and is a pretty deft paw with her telekinesis. I find her in a room behind the stage.
"You've all come very far in the time we've had to practice the plays I've set out for us." Looks like she's talking to one of the shyer bug horse things. "We're not going to be making professional grade performances by the time we reach the capital, but we will be at least passable by then." I catapult myself off of a tall rack or something straight into her face. She dodges it deftly.
"Oh, it's you again." As the other bug horse thing scampers off I bounce off the wall to buffet her flank, only to be foiled by another dodge. Oh, the way she moves is so unnatural! Her first dodge put her on the path for my poofy self to bounce off of her, but she just switched her momentum around like a particularly unconvincing illusion. What a challenge! We continue like that for a couple minutes before she just catches me with her magic. Awww...
"No pouting, you. I have a play to supervise, still. You're lucky you've never done this when Nunya was in the room with me. She takes physical threats to me very seriously." A few minutes later we're back to my friend's tent.
"Fluttershy, your bunny attacked me again. Please keep a better eye on him. If he disrupts any of the plays I'm putting him in a box until we reach Canterlot."
"Y-yes Q-q-queen Degurechaff. I'm t-terribly sorry ab-bout Angel, he's usually such a g-good b-boy!" She stammers. Oh, she really does care about me. I wave and squeak at her.
"If you say so. Where did Pinkie Pie go?"
"She's sp-pending t-time with another stallion again." My friend stammers out for entirely different reasons, her face turning red.
"Hmm, well, as long as she doesn't exhaust herself. Speaking of, are you entirely sure you don't want to avail yourself of any of those services? You're already feeding several of my drones with your donations."
"I'm s-sure." The Queen stares at her for a few seconds. She starts wilting under the Queen's heavy gaze.
"Well, suit yourself." As she sets me down and leaves. I cheerfully squeak at my friend.
"Oh no you don't mister." As she grabs me. "You're staying right here with me until the plays are done." Then, she snuggles us up into her warm bed. Ah~, life is good!
AN: Beta credit goes to Pandora
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- Location
- Elsewhere
Reality has a limited animation budget.
Admittedly the sudden POV shift caught me off-guard. Took a few tries at the first paragraph to properly grasp that it was Angel Bunny.
xbox432
Lover of Editing
Bunneh is based. Angel knows how to truly live.
Also, heh, Fluttershy can act as reticent as she wants. Tanya sees her. She'll crack and join a cuddle pile eventually!
RogueInquisitor
Unexpected!
So, what are the consequences of ignoring a Celestial Edict? I would expect them to be severe, but these are ponies we're talking about. Celestia might be angrier about the rampant racism than the defying of her aithority.