Chapter 28: For Beth
Alaric
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Chapter 28: For Beth
There is another bedrock of your home: An unfathomable sacrifice. One that will explain everything.
You gently take Agriculture's hands, lean against Her shoulder, and whisper to Her with so much pain, sorrow, and relief that your words are hardly intelligible.
"I'm ready to let them know."
She nods a little, blinking an equal amount of emotion from Her eyes with a stunning smile.
Everyone has quieted down. Tension crackles in the air like a building lightning storm.
The land was barren. You were the last man working late into the sunset, trying to make the most of Mercy's blessing. No matter how intensely it beat on you, the light of day felt as if it was never enough. The harvest would not come. Not as it should. Another season of toil. Ever dwindling yields. A single crop for every hundred seeds planted.
Evening was closing in fast, yet you spoke with hope for a brighter day.
"Goddess of Bounty: of death, of life, and everything that comes between! I beg of you. Hear my plea. Hear our cries. Hear the land, and all of its people. We are dying. Our bodies fall— we return to Your bosom— but nothing takes us in turn. We do not feel Your embrace. No flowers climb from our graves. Our prayers have gone unanswered."
There's a hard squeeze on your hands.
Agriculture's smile is somehow twice as pained as how you feel. "I'm right here. It's over. It's okay."
You remember how to breathe, but have to take a few moments of raggedly gasping for breath to keep from slipping back into one of the most traumatic memories of your life.
You're not on hands and knees, vomiting seeds and blood into the dirt. The nausea on you is real, but you are not in the throes of the worst invocation of your life.
You're not taking on a hundred year curse. The agony you endured can be seen and felt on the equally disturbed Goddess beside you, but you have been through this together.
You're not being stripped of everything you know and love. There are not years on end of pain ahead of you. Not if you can just explain.
Agriculture squeezes your hand harder and speaks to the whole room. "This is incredibly difficult for Father Anscham. I ask that you all remain respectful and do not interrupt him."
One more deep breath. You look to the council sitting before you— to their worried and confused faces— and level out your voice.
Your words still come out so pained, everyone flinches.
"It will be four years ago this month. I am not saying this to disgrace Beth's memory, but to honor her. She taught me everything that has mattered. Everything. She's why I was able to love. She's why I was able to think of my family first. She's why I—" Your voice cracks. You can hardly see from how much mist is in your eyes, but you are not going to stop now for anything.
"I invoked Agriculture for the first time here. Right here, in the fields of the Church." You and your partner share a look that says more than any of these clergy can hope to ever understand. "I asked for Her to listen."
Everyone sitting before you is slowly piecing it together. There's no protests. Just grief, and a lot of people who look like they wish things could have gone differently.
"She did. She heard my pleas. She heard that our children were dying, thinking that their prayers had gone unanswered. She heard that we had nary a flower to place upon their graves. She heard that we lacked the strength to do so much as hold each other in our wasting arms and hearts, and I BEGGED for Her to listen. She did. Agriculture heard of our pain, and I knew in that moment that She was in pain, too."
The hold on your hands gets a whole lot tighter. You've never seen your partner look so furious.
"She had not scorned us. The very idea is so absurd that I hated myself for ever thinking it. Agriculture had been CURSED by a Vengeful King over an age ago, and She could not ask us for our aid. She had to endure, while Her children lived and died cursing Her name."
You part from the hold on Agriculture's hand to take Her properly into your arms. It looks like She's going to break down, but is obviously taking tremendous heart from you saying this all on Her behalf.
The strength in your voice redoubles. "King Vaughn would not have his victory. Agriculture imparted Her curse onto me."
Several people take in a quick breath— Sister Jolland, Everard, Sister Schafer, Tathan and Ethel— but no matter how badly it looks like they want to say something, not a single one of them interrupts.
The woman in your arms gives Her children an incredibly appreciative smile. She's still furious, though, and the impression borders on terrifying. "I cannot tell you all how difficult of a choice this was. I thought it would kill him. I could have done so for any one of my clergy before, but the thought— I couldn't do it. Not unless I was certain whoever asked was willing to bear whatever this curse entailed."
Agriculture leans hard against the side of your shoulder, closing Her eyes in anguish. "Richard had already been through so much. It was so selfish of me. But I knew he could take it." She whispers in your ear, "I'm so sorry."
It feels like every scar on your face is being committed to your clergy's memory. Like it could somehow tell them how to best serve their own Goddess.
You place a small kiss on Agriculture's cheek. "It wasn't selfish of you. There is nothing to apologize for. I knew exactly what I was asking for, and I wanted it with all of my heart. I would do it all over again, if I was only given the chance." You meet everyone's stares with all the resolve you possess. "Three years. I could not eat or drink for three years without it feeling like broken glass, or seeds in my lungs, or— or any other number of nightmares you all do not need to know of. Any man would have killed himself after three months, but it— that doesn't matter—"
"It matters." Agriculture shifts upright, firmly wrapping an arm around your back. "They should know."
You try to keep breathing. Instead of air, a nervous smile escapes. "It was easily one of the worst experiences of my life. It felt like the only thing I could think about. But I couldn't— I was still—" Running a hand through your hair in exasperation does nothing to help.
Agriculture boops you on the nose with a grape, which you gladly take and spend a moment relishing. It helps. The tightness in your chest eases up.
Everyone in the room suddenly looks a whole lot more understanding. You've spoken only with Father Wilhelm and Father Pevrel about this at length before, but they didn't seem to fully understand the nature of your relationship until right now.
Your partner readjusts Her hug so She can lean even closer against you. "Richard, Mercy, and I had an unparalleled experience earlier this year that enabled us to be rid of this curse once and for all. It is no longer a threat to his health or to any of our safety. I wish I could tell you all exactly how, but I am not the Goddess of Intellect. It is something I am still searching to understand."
Everyone looks incredibly understanding. It's enough to make you tear up all over again.
Agriculture is still looking for something, and She seems to find it in the people sitting in this very room. "What truly matters is that the sacrifices that we all have made should never be forgotten. I ask that you all show your respect towards Father Anscham's sacrifices."
You're not going to break down in front of all of these people, but you're close, and can't stop yourself for one second longer from burying your face in Agriculture's hair. Taking Her into the biggest hug that you can is mandatory.
"What about your sacrifices?"
She laughs in a way you can't help but love, and hugs you right back. "What about mine? Everyone can piece that together. It's getting it through everyone's thick skulls that you're a hero that seems to be the real problem!"
The two of you keep your hold for several long moments. Nothing else in the world matters but the softness of your lover and the smell of strawberries.
With dry eyes and a world of determination, you slowly break apart. That is to say, Agriculture stays on your lap practically glued to you, while you keep both arms around Her and direct your attention towards your clergy.
Pensive, brooding, but grateful faces are in all directions. It looks like Sister Jolland and Father Wilhelm really want to say something, but judging by the dissatisfaction on Everard's features and Tathan's nonstop fidgeting, you're not done.
"Mother Bethaea may have not died to fix the fields, but everyone knows that something happened to her—" Agriculture tenses under your arms. The looks you're both getting completely confirms your suspicions. "—and I am starting to believe that she took a great big fall for ALL of us. She isn't the hero people think she is. She's one far greater than that. She died taking no laurels, only giving US the best possible shot at doing better: an opportunity to grow."
Tybalt shares a knowing, bitter look with you. You meet his eyes. "The only true disgrace to her memory would be not doing the absolute best we can with what she had given us. To dither with infighting."
Sweeping your gaze across the room is met with more verve than you could have hoped for. These people seem determined to do better.
"I know egos are bruised and this is the most uncomfortable everyone here has probably ever been—" Nervous laughter leaves Petronilla, Bobert, Father Wilhelm and Ethel. Tightening your hold on Agriculture elicits a small and precious sound of delight from Her, too. "—but I refuse to let our Church be pushed around like a wet rag by anyone. Like it or not, we are all in this together."
The laughter falls. You know that this council is already united, but many hate-filled stares are going towards Father Pevrel, and plenty more distrustful stares towards Father Wilhelm.
You practically bark, "if we can't get our act together, no one else is coming to help."
The severity of the situation seems to finally be sinking into the council. You don't back down from their terrified faces. "I am really sorry that everyone has had to go through so much suffering, but none of us— none of us have had it easy."
There's some story behind the way Renne looks like she's suddenly the hardest and most upright woman in all of Corcaea. Same for the bitterness on Tybalt's features, and the anger stewing in Everard.
You're not one to sugar-coat things. "It is probably going to get harder from here on out. We NEED to know if we can ALL trust each other enough to get this done."
Brother Foster can't help himself. He jerks a thumb in Father Pevrel's direction. "You're crazy if you think I'm goin' to work with 'im."
Before the irate priest of blood can speak up, you shout, "I AM crazy."
The room falls totally silent. Disbelief and nervous smiles are on almost everyone's faces (save for Petronilla, Father Whelm, Father Pevrel, and Ethel, who simply look worried.)
You lower your tone. "Between us all are lifetimes dedicated to the Church. It would be a travesty if we couldn't find a way to keep serving our Goddess. Call me crazy. I think I'm crazy enough to think that this just might work."
Shakily getting out from her seat, Sister Jolland slowly approaches you and Agriculture. When she's only a foot away, she holds out an open hand. In her palm is a single mustard seed. The minute speck is barely visible against the cracks in her well-worn skin, but you appreciate its meaning tremendously.
Faith, no matter how small.
"For Beth."
You look up to the old woman with tears in your eyes, and instantly place your hand over hers. "For Beth."
Agriculture's chin is quivering from how hard She's trying not to cry. "For Beth."
It takes Bobert one step to cross the circle and to place his hulking hand atop the pile. "For Beth."
Every other council member gets up and joins in on the huddle, save for Tybalt and Everard.
Tybalt is talking in hushed whispers to the older man. "Just go join in, for fuck's sake. You can go right after—"
"Shut up, Ty, you couldn't make me even if I wanted to. She should understand why I don't want nothin' to do with Rot-eye, the 'Lord of Nightmares,' and the—"
Still in arm's reach of you, Sister Jolland hollers at the top of her lungs, "will you both quit making an embarrassment out of the whole damn Church and get your asses over here?!"
"Yes, ma'am." While your ears are still ringing, Tybalt instantly bows his head towards the older woman, kicks Everard in the shin, and comes over to place his hand atop all of yours.
"...yes, ma'am." Wincing, Brother Foster finally joins the rest of the group. He obviously hates it, but he places his hand atop everyone's as well.
With all ten of you standing and sitting around in a little huddle, there's not much elbow room, and you all are way too close for comfort. Petronilla is entirely unfazed by this, however, and cheerily smiles at you all.
More grumbling, from Brother Foster. "Now what?"
Sister Schafer locks her bright-green stare with your own. "Thank you for all that you've done, Father Anscham."
"Oh. Yeah." Pet blinks a few times, and continues beaming your way. "Thanks. And to you too, Agri."
Gratitude is murmured around the entire circle from everyone present. Even Tybalt.
Agriculture elbows you. You hurriedly murmur, "you're welcome."
The Goddess by your side is still teary-eyed, but She couldn't look more pleased. "Ev raised a great question. As much as I'd like to stay here with you all day, I don't want to push Richard too hard. We all have a lot of work ahead of us, so we had better get to it."
>A] Invite Father Wilhelm and Father Pevrel over to your little huddle. You're really going to harp on the fact that they're allies of the Church of Agriculture, no matter how forced it might feel right now.
>B] Propose uniting everyone via your Relic. You'll make a convincing argument, and will not force anyone to do so who is uncomfortable with the suggestion.
>C] Do not bring up your Relic. Let everyone naturally build their relationships with you and your allies. You've done a lot today to restore their trust, and would like to see how well everyone can work now to solve the problems plaguing the nation; especially given just how much everyone in the room likely wants to say.
>D] Everard definitely needs to be talked to.
>1] Ask Agriculture to have a few words with him.
>2] Talk to the lad with Agriculture's support.
>E] Tybalt might still be a problem.
>1] Ask Agriculture to have a few words with him.
>2] Talk to the lad with Agriculture's support.
>F] There is someone else who you're still worried about. (Write-in anyone else you would like to speak with separately before leaving the meeting.)
>G] It is incredibly rare for Agriculture to meet other people, and it's not every day that you summon Her. (Write-in anything else you would like to say or do with Agriculture before ending the summoning.)
>H] Write-in. (Anything else you would like to say or do with the council while you have everyone here, before interrogating Sister Schafer or leaving the Church.)
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