It might be worth accepting for now and seeing if we can't get someone more senior in the family later.
While this isn't exactly impossible, it's difficult. Courtship among noble families is a sanctioned process; changing which relative you are courting is difficult at the best of times, although it does happen. If you managed it, Toshiro would likely consider himself spurned and deeply offended even if the rest of the family is okay with it.
What tends to happen more among ambitious upstart is that they settle for marrying the junior, then begin an affair with a senior relative which they use to obtain more covert power.
Why is everyone rejecting this offer, this is basically free stuff, we aren't agreeing to anything permanent and this could really help us with getting set up and for all we the guy good actually be suitable.
Well, it's not quite free. You can back down before marriage at any moment; but the further you allow the courtship to continue, the more official it is considered, and the more backlash you risk facing if you break it off. Milking courtship for benefits before breaking them and moving away is something that happens relatively regularly, but it is not without consequence for the "unfaithful" party.
It is also likely that past a certain point, the Tenshin will start asking
you for favors to get you to show your genuine engagement in the process.
In the end we can we can still choose how far to go, also we might actually like the guy.
@Omicron if we did marry him would we be subordinate in any way, especially considering we're of imperial blood and have an bunraku and he doesn't?
It's complicated.
In theory, a noble family is subordinate to the Imperial Family. Specifically, Toshiro (assuming it is he) would cease being Tenshin Toshiro and become Toshiro, Prince of [BLANK]; he would ascend to the Imperial Family, rather than integrating you into his family.
In practice, the Imperial Family is too disconnected to back up this tradition. The Tenshin's political wealth and political clout would allow them to put pressure on you no matter what formal ranks said. Of course, this would in turn mean you having access to that clout and wealth.
This makes sense, we
are poor, homeless and without backing. The key is to
fix that fast enough to not end up under the Tenshin family's thumb. My concern with accepting is that, if we accept this courtship, it gives Kozakura some stake in keeping us dependent, and invites retaliation from the Tenshin family toward any other allies we choose to make.
@Omicron, thoughts on that?
Besides, maybe Toshiro is a great guy? Worst case scenario he's a problem and we tell him and his family to get stuffed. Give'm a chance, is all I'm saying. If he's mediocre we can just back out or try to trade up for a better Tenshin.
If Kozakura's son is courting you (or you him; the gender roles here got a bit blurry), she would absolutely have a stake in keeping you relatively independent from lord Summer. This means giving you the
tools of that independence - escalating the further into the courtship you go, eventually giving you access to their wealth, their skilled retainers, their bunraku workshop, and their political connections - but it also means demanding things of you in return; asking you to make decisions which are more advantageous to them than to your lord, expecting you to inadvertantly drop details that you are not supposed to disclose in dinner conversations (nothing so crude as "espionage," of course), politely suggesting that you shouldn't associate with people you don't like (although they will not oppose getting friendly towards those they are neutral towards), and so on.
It offers resources, and influence, in return for a loss of freedom.
There is also, of course, a character aspect. Tomoe is 23, which is relatively old for an unmarried noble lady; before the Fall a member of the Imperial Family would have had an arranged marriage set up long before they reached twenty. She's been married to her job as long as she served Autumn, and it is unclear whether she regrets this and fears growing old and alone, or if she is fine with it and doesn't want to tie herself down in a family life. Her new trait, "A ghost in the flesh," would incline her towards the latter.