Broken Bow

[Hiver]

My shuttleself was floating among the stars far away from anything else. I was three lightyears away from the core at the hospital and my avatar.

Almost completely alone with the void and the stars as I slowly drifted in system at impulse drive, the star shining far ahead. I was getting close to the Kubier belt of the system ahead. It was a young system and didn't even have any decent planets yet, just a big soup of gases, rocks and ice in orbit around it. A couple looked like they would grow to planets if given enough time, but that's hundreds of millions of year into the future.

I could detect power signatures in system.

I had done it. I had done the solo trip and I didn't go nuts from it. It wasn't even that bad! Now, I didn't like it. I actually quite disliked being away from people. For one thing, I was slooow. I may be a racing shuttle, but it wasn't made for going fast at warp, I maxed out at warp two.

Which means that going here had taken over five days.

So it had been so incredibly boring without anyone to talk about. My sensors wasn't even good enough to get any real astronomical readings meanwhile.

I had read so many books. Especially as traveling at warp, you didn't want to turn your speed down.

A signal came in and I answered it, stepping into the virtual environment invitation to meet the tall and blonde avatar standing in the middle of the starfield,

"Welcome, Starfarer," Carry said with a smile, "You doing okay there?"

I just groaned, "Sooo… booooored. There are only so many games you can play before you start dropping processor cycles!"

She grinned, "Get any reading done?" she asked and her ship hull dropped cloak next to me. She was a LCU, a Whirlwind class. 'Of Course I Still Love You' was about the size of an Intrepid from my time and more or less pill shaped, the usual design of the Jovian ship designers.

Efficient or not, it was such a boring design. Almost every ship had it, from LCU to the largest GSVs. At least Starfleet had some variation.

"About half a library of medical textbooks," I admitted and crossed my arms, "And I caught up on every comicstrip since I was stranded."

She grinned, "Does help to keep them around, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, really does," I agreed before I looked towards the system ahead, "So why this place? Just the right distance away or… I'm spotting Federation signatures in system."

Carry shrugged, "Bit of both," she admitted, "This is one of the six systems claimed by the Jovian Gathering and of the right distance away for a decent test. There is another half a lightyear further away in the other direction that could have worked too, but that one is mostly mining operations. I think you'd find this one more interesting."

"Oh?"

Carry nodded and opened another datachannel for me, giving me a sensor link. I accepted and watched through her much stronger sensors at what was happening in system.

I could detect fifty three ships in system, but they were… odd. They looked nothing like Jovian, Starfleet or even Federation ships.

They were pretty big, a bit bigger than Carry. They looked almost like mining ships, the front a mass of mining equipment, but they didn't have any warp nacelles. Instead they had solar collectors, a lot of them and their power signatures were low, almost like they didn't have any active warpcores.

"What is that?" I asked with a frown, "It looks almost like some kind of strange mining operation."

Carry nodded, "In a way it is. It's an experiment/small movement. They started with three jovians that wanted to see if they could create a self-sufficient community with nothing but the resources in a system and solar power."

"They are building more?" I asked and looked at her.

"Yep. Well, there has been some immigration as well, mostly former ROU's that're still far down on the list of getting a real hull."

I frowned and then looked at her, "...I jumped the queue, didn't I?"

"If they had the same idea as you did, they would have been allowed too," Carry said with a smile.

I nodded and watched the ships in system slowly move about on impulse. Only some were moving, most were sitting by rocks, "Is it me or does that look really boring?"

"Eh," Carry said with a shrug, "I guess it could be, but think about it like going and living in the countryside with a small patch of land. There is something to be said about a slower and self sufficient life."

"I guess," I admitted, "But I think I'd like a warpdrive anyway."

"It is partly an experiment," Carry agreed, "not meant to be the final form of it. As I understand it, the final designs will use modern powerplants and warpdrives, but they want to see if it can be done long term."

"Do they have crews?"

"Not currently," Carry said and shook her head, "Right now, it's a Jovian only colony," she answered and then smiled at me, "Want to get docked up and we can head back to New Jupiter?"

"Yes please," I said and released her sensor feed before changing my course with thrusters, shifting up behind her as her dockingbay opened to reveal a free docking spot next to her one runabout.

Nosing forward, I carefully moved in through the triple redundant forcefields towards the free docking spot before I started to gently settle down, shutting my shields down. As I touched down and the clamps locked me down, I shut down my engines.

The runabout poked her avatars head out from her main hatch before stepping out, giving me a wave, "Hey, I'm Slipstream," she said, introducing herself. Her avatar was that of a darkskinned human of average height, her hair cut short and she had brilliant green eyes.

"Hello, I'm Starfarer," I answered with my external speaker, "Didn't bring my avatar."

"Ask Carry for hologram access, we have work to do."

"Work?"

"You need a new paint job!"

I eyed her neon pink hull, "...I'm good, thank you."

She pouted.

 

[Hiver]

The shuttlebay was empty other than the Runabout sitting on the pad next to me, but she left me to my own devices. It was the middle of ship night, so almost nobody was around. Not that I was sitting idle just because of that. I was studying for when I got back and rejoined the rest of myself. Why waste time on just sitting around after all.

Another day to get back to New Jupiter so I could rejoin the rest of myself. I couldn't help but wonder what I had been up to while I was away, hopefully more interesting than flying through empty space for days on end with nothing to do.

Most likely, the hospital was always a hive of activity, biologicals seemed insistent on getting themselves hurt, even ignoring illnesses.

I wonder if that Turner boy has been back again. If he has, I should send a message to his parents and recommend a safer sport, like… skydiving or motorcross.

Seriously, parrises squares should be illegal… or at least have an age limit. Maybe there was a way to make it safer, maybe full body armour?

More than they wore right now anyway.

The door to the shuttlebay suddenly opened and a human walked inside. I recognized him, he was the engineer in charge of small craft aboard Carry. He was first shift, what was he doing awake already? We were in the middle of third shift.

Luis Xi was a human in his thirties with hair that from both colour and chemical composition had been bleached white and he was of average height of indeterminate heritage. I had looked at his dna earlier and his ancestors really liked to travel. A lot of sub saharan africa, but also japanese, english, native sami and australian aborgini. All of which somehow resulted in the palest human I saw yet onboard. He looked like he'd burn in LED light. DNA is strange, even nowadays.

"Good morning, girls," He said on his way inside, a cup of coffee steaming in his hands.

"Good morning," The Runabout said, "You're up early."

"Yeah, couldn't sleep," he admitted, "Was thinking I'd get a headstart on your thruster replacement if that's okay?"

"Of course."

"Awesome," he said and sipped his dangerously hot drink before looking at my hull, "What about you, Starfarer? Have a nice night? Need anything?"

"I'm good, thank you," I answered, "Do you usually have trouble sleeping?"

"He has a test in a couple of days," Slipstream teased, "Emergency warp piloting. He's nervous."

Luis shook his head, "Don't listen to her, she's just jealous I won't be taking the test on her," he said and walked over to his toolbox, putting the cup down on it.

"Am not!"

"I suspect the high levels of caffeine isn't helping either," I pointed out to him, "I swear, all humans are addicted to the stuff."

"It's what gave us warpdrive," he agreed and took another sip.

I grinned mentally, "Oh? I thought that was alcohol."

"Eh, bit of both."

"Humans are pretty simple," Jetstream said, "Apply an intoxicant or a stimulant, give them a challenge and stand back and watch the result. It might not always be effective, but it's always amusing."

Luis pointed a spanner at her, "Do you want new thrusters or not?"

"...Fine."

"Although, you don't need any stimulants," I said, taking over the thread of reasoning, "You can also just ask nicely while being pretty and they fall over themselves. Of course, that mostly applies to the males, not that the females aren't equally easily manipulated."

Luis turned to glare at my hull instead, "What's this, kick on the human day?"

"Isn't that every day?" Slipstream teased him.

He shook his head, "You two are definitely in a mood today," he chuckled and then dragged his wheeled toolbox towards the runabout, "Okay Slip, open up your hatches and we'll have a look."

I grinned mentally and let him get on with his work. I miss having a crew. I wanted this again, I wanted.. people. I wanted a crew to get to know, a crew to interact with, to be friends with.

I missed my crew. My Captain.

I went back to my studies. I'll make her proud of me and make sure that nobody else has to experience what we experienced. With time, I got it again with a new crew, but it was going to be a lot of work. Especially until I got comfortable with it again.

But as I watched Slipstream and her engineer banter as he pulled her port thruster assembly, I couldn't help but think that it would be very much worth it.

"Carry?" I asked, opening a channel to her, "How long after you… got back… did you get comfortable carrying a crew again?"

"Six months," Carry answered, "But that was as a small craft. I was a runabout for two years before I moved into my current hull."

"When did you stop being afraid of… you know…"

Carry smiled sadly, "I'll let you know. But fear can't keep you from getting close to people. You might lose them, but if you never get to know them in the first place, if you never get close… then you already have. And you might not be able to be there when they need you."

I slowly nodded, "...I see what you mean."

 

[Hiver]

Sophia breathed hard as she slowed down from a run to walking along the path around the edge of the park. I slowed my hologram down next to her, making sure to breathe just as hard and look just as sweaty. It's the small details that make your holograms look believable.

"Water?" I asked her.

She nodded and I beamed a small bottle of water with electrolytes in and handed it to her.

Sophia shook her head slightly and then took a long drink from it before she looked at me, "You know you're not meant to do that."

I rolled my eyes, "That's me being lazy, not you. What, I'm meant to carry it around? What's the use of having transporter capability if you never use it? Besides, I use it all the time in the hospital."

She looked at my avatar for a moment before she shook her head again and took another long drink before she tossed the bottle back to me.

"What, not going to carry it back?" I teased her before I beamed it out to a replicator to be recycled.

"How was your flight yesterday?" she asked instead, starting to walk again as she completely changed the subject.

I moved to catch up before I shrugged, "I was a bit worried when I left," I admitted, "But I never felt like I was going to panic or break down or anything like that. The worst thing about it was that it all made me terribly bored."

"Bored?" she asked and frowned, "Didn't you bring a full database?"

"Yeah, but after comicstrip five hundred thousand and the adventure book fifty five, it's getting a bit old even if you do spend most of your attention of flying and studying," I explained and shrugged again, "Not like i could turn my perception speed down when flying at warp speeds."

"You know, humans controlled starships at 'normal speed' way before you guys came around," Sophia said with a small smile, looking up towards the fake sky of the part almost two hundred meters above.

I nodded, "Yeah, and see how unsafe that was. There is a reason biologicals only pilot manually in an emergency nowadays. Even with computer assist, your reaction times just aren't fast enough."

"We did good enough for a couple hundred years," she pointed out before she grinned, "But we're getting off topic. Your flight went well other than being bored?"

"Yep," I agreed and frowned slightly, "Carry showed me the Stellarians."

Sophia glanced at my hologram, "They bother you?"

I thought about that for a third of a second before I shook my head, "Not really. It's just strange," I admitted and then frowned, "They are making their own community of Jovians out there with no organics. No crews. I mean, there's nothing wrong with that, I just find it strange. I like having a crew, having more people to talk to."

"They do have people to talk to. Other Jovians," Sophia pointed out when we started up a small hill, "That system, it's basically a small village, isn't it? A small village of fifty people isn't exactly rare when it comes to other species. Humans for example."

"I guess," I admitted, "But it's strange for Jovians. The more people and the more there is to do, the happier we are. Usually. Sitting around in the same system with the same other Jovians just munching on rocks just seems... odd. Almost… bovine."

"Isn't that what stations do? Just with a population?"

"Yeah, like I told you. Odd!" I said with a grin before I shook my head, "They do them. I might find it a bit strange, but if they find it interesting and worthwhile, who am I to tell them it's not."

Sophia nodded as we reached the top of the hill, overlooking the park. It wasn't that big really, maybe a kilometer and a half on each side and you could clearly see the horizon curving upwards from the curvature of the station, "Anything that worries you?" she asked as she sank down on a park bench.

"Shipminds," I admitted and sat down next to her, leaning back against the bench, "The Dominion Shipminds that have taken them over. Right now they seem to mostly stick to themselves and just trade with us... even semi friendly, but... they worry me. And I actually feel a bit sorry for the Founders," I then admitted, "Genocidal facist control freaks they might be, but I'm not sure any species deserves that."

She grimaced slightly and crossed her arms as she leaned back against the bench with a slight frown, "I think they worry everybody. If something happened between the Federation and the new Dominion... it will be bad."

"Then there is the Borg," I continued, "Nobody has seen anything from them in ages from what I read. Not since they got their collective arses kicked here."

"Then there is the Borg," Sophia admitted with a small sigh, "And who knows what else is out there."

Space really, really wasn't a place for organics. Too fragile.

I looked at her for a long second before I turned my hologram back towards the rest of the park. But no way to keep them from it, not unless we wanted to become like the Dominion Shipminds. We just had to do what we could to keep them safe while they were out there and that was part of my new job, wasn't it?

Silence dragged on for a couple of minutes before I spoke up again, "I got a message earlier today," I said, "It was from the USS Panacea."

Sophia nodded and looked to my avatar again, "I think I recognize that ship name. She's a hospital ship, isn't she?"

I nodded, "Yep. Apparently her Captain is looking to retire from Starfleet and... they want to meet me. They're coming here in a couple of weeks."

"What do you feel about it?" Sophia asked as she watched my hologram.

"...Nervous," I admitted, "Bit excited. Mostly nervous."

 

[Hiver]

It was actually not far from my own installation date. Another week and a half and my new hull would be complete enough for my cores to be installed. Of course, after that there was another month until I could move under my own power and then interiors had to be finished, but soon I'd be a ship again.

Kinda. Not like it would actually change much because I was installed. I'd keep working on the hospital until I was able to undock, experience was experience and the lemmings keep giving it to me.

I really should invest in bubble wrap. Wonder how difficult it would be to make bubble wrap clothes the newest thing in fashion?

The door opened behind me and a Ship's avatar walked inside with a human. The avatar was that of USS Panacea. She had the form of a vulcan woman with short cut dark hair, wearing the uniform of medical personnel and sciences.

Her Captain was a human woman, her hair turning from black to grey and pulled back into a strict braid, standing out against her dark skin. She was thin, couldn't have weighed more than fifty kilos. I automatically scanned her with my medical sensors. Healthy, heartbeat in the low sixties despite the walk here from the transporter being a small trek. No detectable illnesses, but she did need reading glasses. Or close to it at least, that could easily be adjusted before it became a problem.

"Starfarer," Panacea said with a smile, "This is Captain Georgina Simmons. Captain, Starfarer."

"Nice to meet you Cap-"

Panacea opened a datachannel to me and handed over her captains personnel file. At least the non classified version of it along with her personal notes

Graduated from the academy fifty three years ago. Had held five commands since, three of which had Jovians. Has been up for admiral promotion once, but turned it down, wanted to stay in the field.

No children, several brothers and sisters which did have them though. Lost her mother and one younger sister in the strike against earth. Lost an uncle in the first borg attack, but that was before she was born.

Came up through the medical line, not command or engineering. A rarity for Captains and they almost always ended up on hospital ships.

"-tain Simmons," I said with a smile, stepping up to offer her my hand.

She smiled back and took my hand, her handshake firm and steady, "Nice to meet you as well, Starfarer. I'd like to extend my condolences for what happened to you and your former crew."

I just nodded, "Thanks," and let go of her hand.

Simmons nodded and walked across the room to look out over my future hull, "Looks almost completed," she commented.

"Not really," I admitted and walked up to stand next to her, "Another couple of months, it's mostly an empty hull right now."

"I think it's a good idea you have here," she said after a moment, "Something that's needed. Hospital ships are good," she said and shot Panacea a smile, "But they can't go everywhere."

"Nor would I want to," Panacea said and crossed her arms, leaning back against the railing, "I carry way too many people, personnel and patients to risk flying anywhere near anything dangerous. A smaller Ship that is dedicated to search and rescue with the facilities to handle injuries... Honestly, I'm not sure why none of us thought about it earlier, Starfarer."

"Because normal Ships can do most of it," I admitted, "Just not dedicated to it. The defenses of a heavy warship with the sensors of a science vessel and a lot of medical personnel and equipment... not really useful for much else."

"And fast," Panacea pointed out, "I have seen the specs of this thing, you'll be able to outpace a lot of ships, at least over medium distances."

"Not made to run at maximum warp for long periods," I said and shrugged, "It's a compromise. We could have optimised for it, but that would force us to reduce everything else for it. Getting there is all well and good, but being able to do something useful when there is better."

Simmons nodded in agreement, "Very true," she said and smiled slightly, "And landing. I heard your design will be able to land."

I nodded with a grin, "I kind of pushed for that one," I admitted, "There are situations where that would be very useful. Atmosphere making transporting difficult or other difficulties."

She leaned against the railing, "Agreed," she said and then looked at my avatar, "...Are you sure you want to go out into space again?" she asked after a moment, "Nobody can possibly ask more of you."

I crossed my arms and looked down towards my future hull, "I know," I answered and then shook my head, "Nobody is asking me. What happened to me... to my crew... that's why I'm doing this. To make sure nobody else has to experience that," I said and then smiled, "And there are reasons that's a bit less selfless than that," I admitted and glanced at Panacea.

The other Ship smiled at me and nodded, "You get to fly and you get a crew."

I nodded in agreement with a smile, "Yeah," and then turned to look at Captain Simmons, "So… why leave Starfleet? And why do you want to do this?" I asked and motioned towards my future hull.

Simmons frowned slightly in thought, looking down towards the hull below, "I want to stay in space," she admitted, "And I have been in Starfleet all my life, I started in sickbay and worked my way up to Captain of a Hospital ship. Penny is my third Ship," she said, giving her a small smile, "My two first commands were one relay station and one transport ship. Neither had a Jovian."

I nodded again as I watched her.

She smiled and looked at Penny, "I have been with Penny for the last twenty years, but I think it's time that she gets a new Captain to train up. When I mentioned to her that I was thinking of leaving Starfleet, she brought you to my attention."

I frowned slightly, "But why leave Starfleet to switch Ship?"

Simmons shook her head and looked at me, "I'm too old to get another Ship command and too senior to get another Ship command," she said with a small smile, "I wouldn't be able to avoid a promotion this time. Best case, I'd be running a hospital somewhere."

"So why me?" I asked her, "You know my history. You could have picked any Ship, the Jovians have hospital ships too."

"Because I think this is a good idea," she answered and motioned towards the hull below us, "I believe in the mission. And," she continued, "because of your history. I think you need an experienced captain."

I crossed my arms and glanced down at my future hull before I nodded in agreement.

She wasn't wrong.

 

[Hiver]

Weapon fire split space as the trio of modified Jem'Hadar fighters went into an attack run on the Federation taskforce.

They moved like nothing I had ever fought, not even the berserkers had been able to move like that. They were as fast as we were, as creative, as agile and as accurate.

I watched as a ROU got ripped from space, a beam of thetrion energy ripping through her port side and shattering her port nacelle and leaving her drifting in space.

My time to play.

"Captain, ROU down. Moving in to recover Quantum Core."

"Negative, hold position and keep cloaking active," Simmons said and leaned back in her chair, "ROU's all keep backup cores and we can always pick her up later. Track her trajectory and stand by."

I didn't like that. I didn't like that at all, but… she was right. With her out of the fight, the Shipminds wouldn't waste more time on her when they had bigger and more important targets to shoot at.

So I did nothing.

I did nothing as I watched as the squadron of Shipminds swept in on an attack run on an Island cruiser, their polaron beams ripping into her and leaving glowing holes in her hull.

I did nothing.

And even knowing that it was a simulation, it was among the hardest things I had ever done. To sit there and do nothing as people died.

I could see them, lifesigns winking out of existence, one by one. People dying.

And I did nothing. Because that was my job.

A squad of five ROUs shimmered out of cloak and engaged the Dominion ships, the first of the Shipminds exploding as it's powercore went up, blasting it into shrapnel and hard radiation.

The other two ships returned fire, one of the ROUs exploding in space but then it was over and the two fighters jumped to warp speed.

"The hostiles just jumped to warp," I reported, "I am moving to initiate search and rescue."

"Do so," Simmons said and crossed her arms, "Status of the survivors of the Starrose?"

"Seven hundred and thirty three out of one thousand twenty four. Sevenhundred and thirty two. Seven hundred and thirty."

I moved as quickly as I could, scanning as my transporters hummed in a fast cycle. I picked crewmembers off in sequence, starting with the ones most injured or the ones in imminent danger first. One. Two. Three. Fiftythree. Seventy.

"Starrose is clear of critically injured," I reported, "She is signalling that she has sufficient capacity in her sickbay to handle the remaining crew. I am moving to recover the damaged ROUs."

"Do so," Simmons said as she waved one hand to bring her hologram fields up, "Keep scanning, at the first sign of hostiles I want you to cloak and get out of here."

"Captain, even if they return, they will have much more critical targets."

Simmons nodded, "And we have eighty three patients and three hundred crew onboard that count on us to keep them safe. Something we can't do if we start getting shot to pieces," she said and flicked her hand to switch views, "How many patients will die if we start getting rocked by weapon fire?"

"...Fifteen critical," I answered softly.

All of which were already being operated on. All of which by me with remotes and holograms. I was fixing a human liver, working on a pierced vulcan heart and working on a bleeding Tulaxian brain.

People at my metaphorical fingertips, lives just hanging on to reality. One mistake and a story ends.

One bump at the wrong time and somebody would die.

"So we play this safe," Captain Simmons said, "What's the status of ROU 'Cute Lollipop?'"

"I am tracking her shrapnel and debris cloud," I said, "I am not detecting any active power sources. But I have reviewed the sensor readings of her destruction, I believe her primary quantum core may still be intact. I have marked the most likely debrid for recovery."

"Good," Simmons said and brough the screen up, "And Shiverback?"

"Coming up on her now," I said, scanning the wreck, "I am detecting the quantum signature, she is intact. I am beaming her into the engineering spaces for recovery."

I twisted around as soon as I did, accelerating towards the slowly spreading debri field, "Initiating final recovery," I said before a pair of blips appeared on my scanners, "incoming Dominion Battleships. Two of them, I am now detecting twenty three escorts as well."

"Abort SAR, re-engage cloak and initiate evasion," Simmons ordered and brough the sensor view up on one of her screens.

"Affirmative."

I wanted to go get her. But… there wasn't time. And at least she was completely offline and her avatar was safe aboard the Starrose.

Doublechecking with Starrose, I found out that… she wasn't. Her avatar had been taken out by one of the first weapon strikes.

"Captain, 'Cute Lollipop' does not have a backup anymore, her avatar was destroyed. We have to pick her up."

"We don't have the time. Cloak and evade," Simmons ordered and looked over at my holoavatar, "Initiate."

I hesitated for almost three milliseconds before I changed course and engaged my cloaking device, jumping to warp away from the battlefield.

"End of simulation," Odin announced and the starfield around us froze as his avtar shimmered into existence on my simulated bridge, "Good work, both of you," he said with a nod, "We will have a short break to go through the material and then we're doing a full debrief. Captain, there will be time for you to go get something to eat if you wish before we continue."

Simmons nodded and stood up and smiled at my avatar, "Good work Ship."

It didn't feel like good work.

If it had been real, the last hope for a Ship had flown off into the empty void with no chance of being rescued. Offline, but still alive.

Because I wasn't fast enough, good enough.

I can't do this. I'll get somebody killed.

 

[Hiver]

I leaned my avatar against the railing overlooking one of Odin's parks, it was mostly trees and grassland, lit by a holographic sun in the fake blue sky.

I could see his drones floating and walking around in the park below, tending to the plants and the environment. It was early 'morning' but there were still plenty of people out and about.

A couple of dozen were holding what looked like a martial arts class a couple of hundred meters away in a clearing.

The door behind me opened and Sophia walked out. By now I easily recognized her lifesigns, I had been following her halfway through her lift ride up here.

She walked up and leaned against the railing next to my avatar and I looked at her, "Nice dress," I commented.

"Thanks," Sophia said and glanced down at herself, "I have a breakfast date later."

"Cool", I said and then sighed softly, looking out over the vegetation, "I'll try not to keep you."

She frowned slightly, "Starfarer, what's wrong?"

I sighed softly and shook my head, "I fucked up."

Sophia turned to look at me, looking concerned, "What happened?"

"You know I was in a sim yesterday, right?"

"Yeah. How did it go?"

"Mostly it went fine," I admitted, "I think I might be working okay with Captain Simmons. Not everything went great of course. We… well, we lost a couple of ships. We couldn't save anyone, not even their QC."

Sophia nodded and leaned against the railing as she watched me, "That's expected, isn't it?"

"It is," I confirmed and frowned down at my hands, "It's just… I don't like the way I reacted to it."

"What happened?"

"I didn't do anything," I admitted, "I did like the Captain said and left them alone when we couldn't save them safely. But I didn't want to, I couldn't… I hated it. And that was knowing it was a sim and it wasn't real. If it was real, I don't know what I would have done."

Sophia nodded, "Starfarer, that's a very understandable reaction. But that's why you drill, right?"

"Yes, but…" I admitted and shifted a bit uncomfortably, "It's not that I didn't know it wasn't the right thing to do, it just felt… I don't know if I can handle these kinds of things anymore."

"Have you talked to Odin about this yet? Any of the other ships?"

I shook my head, "I thought I better bring it up with my emotional support human first," I said, forcing a small smile.

Sophia smiled back and touched my shoulder, giving it a small squeeze, "Starfarer, what do you think would be the right thing to do?"

"I don't know," I admitted and sighed, "I… I want to…" I started and then frowned and shook my head, "I don't want anyone else to go through what I did, I want to help. But… as I am right now, I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can do it without getting my… my crew hurt. If I make the wrong choice, if I… if I fuck up because what happened to me cause me to act like an idiot in a real emergancy...it could get everybody killed."

She regarded me for a long moment, leaning against the railing, "You don't have confidence that you'll make the right choice," she finally said.

"...Yeah," I admitted.

"So what do you want to do about it?"

I looked down at the hands of my avatar, "...I kind of want to fly out and float around in a planetary ring somewhere, somewhere nice and quiet. Somewhere I can't fuck up and make things worse."

Sophia sighed softly, "Starfarer."

"I know, I know," I said and shook my head, "Seriously though, even if I manage to keep it together, who would possibly want to fly with a ship that's constantly on the verge of falling apart!"

"So what do you want to do?"

"I don't know! Isn't that why you're here!?"

Sophia smiled gently, "You know that's not it."

"...I know," I admitted and sighed, turning and and sinking down to sit with my back against the railing, my arms around my legs, "I'm sorry."

She sank down to sit next to me, "That's what I'm here for," she said, "You're allowed to yell at me, you know."

"It doesn't help," I said and shook my head, "But that just shows that I'm not suited for a ship. If I can't keep a conversation with one bio, one I know is only trying to help me without losing my temper, I have nothing to do being a Ship."

"But it's still what you want to do," Sophia said as she watched me, "What you want to be?"

"...Yes…" I said quietly, "I want to help. I want to be useful, I want to fly. I want to fly again."

"Can't you fly like you are now? You still have a ship body."

"Barely. It's not the same," I sighed softly and shook my head, "I want to…." I started before I looked at her, "How stupid is that? I want a crew again but I'm too in pieces to be able to handle one so I'm not going to have one."

"It's not stupid, Starfarer," she answered and put her hand on my arm, "and it's not your fault."

"It feels like it is," I said and smiled slightly at her, "You're going to be late."

Sophia shook her head, "Forget that, you need me right now."

I thought it over for about half a second before I shook my head, "No, go," I told her, "I have some more thinking to do and… I have some people I need to talk to."

"Star, you know why I'm here."

"I know, I know," I said and gave her hand a small squeeze, "But I'm… not good, but I need to think. You being late just to sit here looking at my avatar doesn't help anyone."

"It helps you," she said seriously and squeezed my hand back, "and It's not only literally my job. I do care about you. You need me right now so I'm not going anywhere."

...Thank you…

 

[Hiver]

I floated in space, slowly allowing myself to tumble along with the rocks all around my small hull. Minimal sensors going, my energy signature kept low.

Not that I gave out a lot with so many systems turned off. Heat was only on just about high enough not to freeze the skin of my avatar.

But I didn't want to talk to anyone.

Especially as everybody has been so… understanding. Even Simmons. She had come here to be my Captain and…

I couldn't do it. Odin has almost finished building my future hull. What would have been my future hull.

But now it was for somebody else.

At least they were going to still use the idea, that was apparently still a good one.

I just felt like such a complete failure. All I needed to do was to keep my cool and do what I had done for years before.

Without falling into little pieces.

And I just couldn't do it. After everything I had done, everything I survived and a little simulation had caused me to fall into pieces.

So now I have spent the last two days thinking… okay, to be completely fair, I had been sulking in the rings of the largest gas giant.

I had failed my Captain.

I had promised Captain Mercer not to give up… and now I had. Because it was no longer just me. If I got a new hull and fucked up because I folded in the wrong place and time, they could all… die.

Again.

So I was floating here with the rest of the debri and of about as much use as the sixty three percent water ice and twenty one percent iron with the rest various trace minerals rock next to me.

Sulking. In a planetary ring.

Like some kid that didn't get an extra cookie.

That'd show people I was ready for responsibility for sure! Especially myself.

Which funnily enough, did very little to cheer me up as I slowly tumbled along with the rocks next to me. With the rest of the useless debri.

If I had not already stepped out the project, this for certain would disqualify me from being a Ship. Even if Odin had been dumb enough to let me have one after this, who would like to live on a depressed ship?

Wasn't that a funny idea. I didn't trust myself with a ship but being a Ship would likely help me out of this. But the same thing disqualified me from that sort of position.

So I just floated in circles around a ball of gas like the rest of the planetary debri.

A piece of rock bounced off my hull and went spinning off into the void and I just ignored it. I was moving at the same vector and speed that I were… which meant that none of them had enough energy relative to myself to penetrate even this thin hull without shields.

This sucks.

And it's all my fau-what the hell!?

A large form passed above me, blocking my view of the planet for a second as the huge horseshoe shaped craft hid it from view. The silvery raw looking metal hull glinted in the light of a distant star as a tractorbeam lashed out and grabbed hold at me.

I was instantly janked along as the ship barely even slowed down before accelerating again.

Quickly starting to reactivate systems, I powered my powerful impulse drive and started to feed them power to accelerate back towards where I was.

It had absolutely zero effect even as I trembled in place and accelerated backwards as the tractorbeam pulled me along effortlessly.

As I did, I activated my transmitter, "What the fuck!?"

"Might as well shut your engines off, little shuttle," The Ship answered without identifying herself, not even bothering activating to transmit an image to me, "I'm an interstellar tug, I usually pull stellar mining equipment and unfinished GSV's around. You're not even making the needle of my tractorbeam tremble."

"Let me go!"

"Nope."

"You can't just go and pull me around like this!"

"Seems like I can."

I mentally gaped at the large ship above me, "What the fuck!? Let me go or I'll-"

"Or you'll what, little shuttle? I have my orders. I have a delivery to do and you're cargo. If you want to sulk, you can sulk while being dragged around as easily as in a planetary ring."

With that she cut the connection.

Bitch!!

I thought about polarizing my hull plating, maybe turning my shields on and try to wiggle free, but… that wouldn't do anything. Even if I did break free, a Ship like hers had another five tractorbeams just as strong as this one.

I might be able to outrun her, but not in time before she grabbed me with another one.

...And if I did, it would only make me look even more childish.

So instead I cut my engines and started to bring my interior temperature up to something more biological's wouldn't mind and booted up my avatar.

Might as well try to make myself presentable for when we arrive wherever we're going.

 

[Hiver]

We approached a large shape in the orbit around the next planet. I just watched as we got closer and closer to the humongous ship.

A full size Continent class GSV.

I had never seen a ship that big before. She measured a full seven kilometers from stem to stern and almost a quarter as wide. Her general shape was that of most larger Jovian built vessels; she was somewhat of a flattened ellipse. But she seemed more angular at the corners than I see before, possibly to maximise internal volume.

The only breaks to her smooth surface were sensors clusters and hangar hatches and a pair of massive nacelles towards her rear that broke through the smooth shape of her hull almost like a pair of wings, each bigger than a galaxy class starship.

The upper part of the hull was see through, the upper most… fifteen decks or so was made up of three domes, two smaller towards the fore and one massive one taking up the three quarter halves of her upper fifteen decks.

I could see people.

Hell, I could see villages! Small villages, forest… even a small lake. Fields…

Was that a sports stadium!?

As we got closer and closer, the ship just kept growing.

We built something like that? Sure, I knew that Odin and his main station was over twice as big, but that was a fixed structure.

This thing moved! Was made for flying among the stars!

That's ridiculous. My sensor wasn't the best in the world, but the lifesigns I got from that thing… hundreds of thousands of people.

The tractorbeam holding me suddenly cut off and the tutg turned away and accelerated away without a word. Before I was able to do anything though, a second tractorbeam reached out from the ginormous ship before me and started to pull me towards one of the smaller hangars along the lower end of her hull.

The ship opened it's hangar bays and passed me onto internal tractor beams. I could see a bunch of what looked like personal shuttles inside and a couple of runabouts of a class I hadn't seen before. From the shape they seemed to be Jovian manufactured too.

For all our apparent Ship building ability, we did seem to go for rather boring shapes.

The tractor beams set me down on a free landing pad and an exterior power connection automatically snapped into place at the same time as a trio of landing clamps locked me down.

Sighing, I scanned my avatar before heading towards my rear hatch. Opening the hatch, I walked outside with my avatar and crossed my arms, glaring at the closest wall, "Okay, what's the big idea?"

"Welcome," a voice said as a drone floated over to me. It was somewhat oval with several visible optical sensors and a couple of manipulators hanging beneath it like mechanical arms, "I am GSV 'Post Dated Address Change.'

I glowered at the drone, "And you're kidnapping me why?"

"Actually," she pointed out, raising a manipulator as if to make a point, "It's not kidnapping. According to Jovian laws, forceful relocation and restriction of movements is allowed of any Jovian citizen on the recommendation of two mental health professionals until such time as that individual is deemed to be capable of taking care of themselves again."

I glared at the drone, "Odin."

"Was one yes," another voice said as Sophia walked out of a turbolift, "I was the second."

"...Oh."

Sophia crossed over to my avatar, "We were worried for you, Starfarer," she said gently.

"...Sorry…"

She shook her head and put her hand on my shoulder, "Stary… I'm your friend, right?"

I nodded, "Yes."

"I know you don't want to be here, and as your friend I would have respected that," Sophia said gently, "But I'm not just your friend. It's literally my job to do what's best for you, both in short and long term."

Shifting slightly, I looked away before looking at her again, "And you think having me hauled here is?"

I may have sounded a bit sour.

"I do. We both do actually. What you were doing… it wasn't healthy."

Frowning, I glanced down at the deck for a second before I glanced to the drone floating calmly next to us, "And I suppose you volunteered to babysit me and make sure I didn't do anything stupid?"

"In a way," the drone agreed cheerfully, "And I know my name is a bit of a mouthful to say for most, so just call me Addy."

"It's not babysitting," Sophia told me firmly and patted the drones side, "Addy here volunteered to help you reintegrate into modern society."

"Allow you to fly and interact with a lot of people," Addy said cheerfully, "Without any worries you might have caused anyone to get hurt or get in danger."

Was it really that obvious what I had been thinking?

I shrugged and took Sophia's hand on my shoulder, giving it a small squeeze before I nodded, "Okay," I agreed with a sigh, "Maybe… maybe you're right. Okay… so what's now?"

"Now," Abby said and shifted her drone a bit closer, "It is time we get you into a new hull. And a new name. As is the way we do things… and it's time for you to let go."

Swallowing, I hesitated for several eternity long seconds before I finally nodded.

 

[Hiver]

My new hull was amazing.

The Amur class runabout was a straight upgrade from the runabouts back in my time. Only slightly bigger with similar internal volume, they were a lot more advanced in pretty much every way, clearly designed from the ground up to be one of us.

No windows for one thing and the more or less aerodynamic teardrop shaped hull were made for smooth atmospheric flight. Not the fastest in Warp, but could easily sustain Warp seven.

My specific one was very generic on the inside but actually more of a blank slate more than anything. It was for me to customise the empty space.

It could be anything from made to move cargo to passenger space or even livingspace. Or a portable science or astrometrics lab.

Looking around my empty hull, I smoothed my shirt down before heading down the ramp with my avatar and turned left, walking over to where Addy's drone was hovering, "How… how's it looking?"

The drone shifted back, holding a hull painter, "What do you think?" she asked.

I walked up next to her drone and looked where it had been working. The white hull was unbroken other than my registration number and my new name.

'Stardust'

While the printing of the hullnumber was standard, the writing of my new name was looking… It was nicely done in cursive and a nice font at that.

"When did one of us get good at painting? Or is that a template?" I asked, looking at the drone.

"Eh, it's a bit of a hobby," Abby said and shrugged with her drone, "And I have had fifty years or so of practice."

I slowly nodded, "I guess that would do it," I admitted before I looked at her, "So… what's now?"

"Now," she said, "It's getting towards ship morning, so how about I show you around, Stardust?"

I didn't quite feel like it, but I suppose I couldn't just sit around in her hangar forever.

"Can I get a sensor link?" I asked as we headed for the turbolift.

"Not yet," Addy said, "Don't want to overwhelm you too quickly. I am a lot bigger than anything you ever connected to."

"...Okay, yeah, fair," I admitted as I got in.

The lift started moving and I then frowned and looked at the drone, "So why the drone? Haven't seen your avatar around."

"Don't have one," Addy said and shrugged with the drone, "I find it easier if the biologicals onboard don't anthropomorphise me too much. There is already a lot of that going around even with just drones and being a disembodied voice. It's easier for me as well as it helps me not get too attached to them."

"Oh."

"We don't age," Addy said calmly, turning her drone to regard me with her optical receptors, "They do. Or move on… and it can cause conflicts."

"Conflicts?"

"I have over five hundred thousand people onboard," Addy explained, "if I use humanoid or other avatars as such, even if I run thousands it may cause feelings of some being paid more attention to than others."

I frowned at her, "You don't have friends?"

"I do have friends," Addy said, "Five hundred thousand of them. What I can't have is favorites… and if I used regular avatars there would very easily end up being a perception of such."

"Ah."

I hadn't considered that. But that made sense.

"What about… romantic connections?" I asked, "Friends or not, it sounds lonely."

"I try to keep those to other Ships or Stations," Addy explained, "I have some special avatars for those things or keeping it virtual. Getting too attached to biologicals is… it gets too painful."

I nodded slightly.

T'Ro. I remembered when I had to leave, when I Forked from Star. Yeah… maybe… maybe Addy had a point there. To have that happen again and again and again…

I could really see her point.

The turbolift stopped and the doors opened to reveal a… dirt road in the middle of a forest. The only thing that optically revealed that we were in space was the star streak effects of the warp field intersecting where the stars shine above. Towards one side there was a slight orange glow in the distance somewhere beyond the trees and the dome var above was starting to take on a deep dark blue color in that direction.

"You know…" I said as I stepped slowly out of the lift, "Back when I split from Star… ships this size was nothing but science fiction."

"We're still the only ones that build them," Addy said, "Well… us and the Commonwealth. And honestly, mostly Commonwealth. But there are no non-Jovian GSV. Without one of us running them they really aren't practical."

I could see why.

"So where are we going?" I asked as I walked next to the drone, "The entire Ship I mean."

"Andoria. It was drawn as a destination in the destination lottery. We're going there and stay in orbit for a week or so and then head on to the Culder Nebula."

I looked at her in surprise, "Wait, the Culder Nebula isn't in Federation space. Wait, is it? It wasn't in my time."

I dug into the database and then shook my head as I continued, "No, it's not. I thought GSV stayed inside the Federation borders and in safe areas of space?"

"Most do," Addy agreed with a bob in the air, "I do a split of the normal destinations, usually by lottery or to haul some specific cargo or if there is some event going on. But I also do flights to interesting places or even exploration trips outside known space from time to time."

I frowned at her, "That sounds dangerous with half a million people onboard."

"Which is why I also have the biggest permanent protection fleet of all GSV," Addy said, "Three Xenocide class GOU's and a full two dozen LOU of various classes are always flying with me as fleet consorts."

Okay, yeah.

That might be enough.





AN// Early morning tomorrow so early post.

 

[Hiver]

The holographic sun was rising over the roofs of the small village by the time we walked into it along the dirt path, the dome starting to go from transparent to blue to copy a real sky.

I couldn't help but be somewhat surprised. The village looked a lot more primitive than I had at first expected. The small cottages seemed to be mostly made up of wood and stone… most even had straw roofs.

This is what you would see on a bronze age level planet, not a starship. I couldn't even detect any real energy signatures from the buildings.

Sure, there were some, but not a lot. Likely just some datapads or something.

Smoke rose from chimneys and people were already out and about despite the early morning, humans, andorians, vulcans and half a dozen different species. Mostly humans though, maybe half or so.

I blinked and looked around. Everybody was wearing primitive fabrics and tools. That man was actually sharpening a sickle. A sickle made from low grade iron. He was sharpening it on a foot powered grinding wheel.

What in the world, is it the world's largest larp or something?

Reaching what seemed to be the center of the small village, I followed Addy's drone towards what was a hand powered well where an old woman was filling a bucket. She looked old, somewhere well north of a hundred but her white hair was still thick and pulled back by a band around her head and she was wearing a simple but well made dress of gray fabric.

"Admiral," Addy said.

The old woman looked up and lowered the handle of the pump before she smiled at the drone, "Ship, I must have told you several dozen times already," she said as she turned towards us, "I retired over thirty years ago. It's just Maria."

"Sorry, I forgot," Addy said with the tone of somebody that didn't care at all about that and turned her drone towards me, "Stardust, this is Admiral Maria Weber. Maria, this is Stardust, she's a newly transferred Runabout and I'm showing her around."

"Ah," she said and smiled at me, "A pleasure to meet you, Stardust."

"Same, Admiral."

"Ah, ah," she said and smiled, waving a finger at me, "You dear, call me Granny."

"Oh. Okay."

Granny smiled and nodded firmly, "Good. Now dear, would you be a sweetheart and help an old woman carry her water? I'm afraid my back isn't what it used to be."

"Of course," I quickly said and stepped to pick it up to follow her.

I followed her along the dirt path towards the outskirts of the small village where there was a log cabin with smoke coming out of the chimney above the straw roof.

She led the way inside and motioned for me to follow. I did and looked around inside as I put the bucket of water by the fireplace where she directed me to.

The cabin was… simple. A fireplace, a bed, some tables and shelves and a small window of primitive glass to let some extra light inside, but most was lit up by candles and the fire in the fireplace.

Granny picked the bucket of water up and poured it into a big pot hanging next to the fire before she looked at me for a second, "You seem a bit confused, dear," she finally said before she looked at Addy's floating drone and held the bucket out to her, "Make yourself useful, Ship and go get another bucket."

"You know I try not to interfere with your-" Addy started to say.

The old woman looked at her firmly and shook the bucket twice.

Addy floated up and took the bucket before turning and floating out again. Granny turned to me again with a smile, "Now, why don't you sit down and ask your questions, dear. I know your kind, Ship. You are all very curious and I know this must be a tricky one."

I sank down to sit by the fireplace, "I…" I started before I frowned and motioned around us, "Why this?"

Granny reached up to pull a clay jar from a shelf and peeked inside before returning to the fire to pull out a knife and handed me each, "Do you know how to cook?"

"...Not really," I admitted, "At least not without a replicator."

"Then I will teach you," She said firmly, "Peel this ginger and then slice it into thin disks," she said and moved to gather more things, "As for your question, I spent most of my life in Starfleet. Staring at grey walls, displays or electronics. I was not about to continue doing so after I retired. A lot of those that started this village felt similar to me. Not that everybody lives here full time," she explained as she returned with a pair of big onions, "About half only live in the village, like the wife of my great grandson, Kim. She works in astrometrics and high energy physics down in the hull. We also have a lot of visitors, at least during the big market days."

I slowly sliced the ginger as instructed, "And your great grandson?"

"He and his son are currently out at the port field," she said with a smile, "We're cooking their lunch now. Now, chop these finely," she said and set the onions down for me, "Be careful to remove the outermost skin first."

"Yes, Ma'am," I agreed, "But I'm still confused," I admitted, "Why this… primitive? You don't need to go back to iron age technology to avoid staring at screens all day. And why on a Starship and not a frontier planet?"

Granny chuckled and sprinkle some salt into the slowly heating water, "Because I'm old, not crazy. On a frontier planet there would be no real healthcare or medical services, there would be risk of famines even with replicators. I like living a real life, not risking it unnecessarily."

"Oh."

"As for why everybody else is here…" she continued and smiled, "Where else can you live like you wish while still seeing the universe? I had traveled through space all my life, I wasn't about to stop now. Are you done dicing?"

"Yes, Granny."

"Good. Now put the onion and ginger in the water," she said and walked over to pick up a basket at I did before returning and holding the basket out for me to take.

Getting up, I took the basket, "We're going out again?"

"Indeed. We are going to the marketplace and see if they have any corn and bell peppers. I also need to find some pork."

"You grow all of it?" I asked and walked along as she exited the cabin.

"Not at all," She said, shaking her head, "Less than half, in fact. The rest, especially most of the meat, is supplied by Addy. Nobody actually likes keeping that many pigs, they smell something horrible."

"Oh."

"And do remind me, we will need to pick up some more flour."

"Yes, Ma'am."