Well, that was fun. Though @Fellgrave, I gotta ask, is anyone else from Worm gonna be joining the story, or even be relevant for that matter? Cause so far It's only been Jeanne, Taylor, Danny, Rodin, Enzo, and a bunch of OCs.
Well, that was fun. Though @Fellgrave, I gotta ask, is anyone else from Worm gonna be joining the story, or even be relevant for that matter? Cause so far It's only been Jeanne, Taylor, Danny, Rodin, Enzo, and a bunch of OCs.
More should show up once I get to the actual party. Liz is kinda a canon character, eg Rune, but with how changed she is I suppose she's more of an OC at this point, albeit one with connections to other canon characters that will soon be involved in things.
Also, one canon character kinda has a cameo in this chapter if you look carefully, and the next interlude will be the full introduction into the story. As for relevancy, that's hard to say at this point. Certainly I plan to have other Worm characters involved in the story as it goes along. Once I hit the party though, then things'll really kick off.
Also, one canon character kinda has a cameo in this chapter if you look carefully, and the next interlude will be the full introduction into the story.
. I felt a pressure from behind me and I twisted my body into a tight spin, just in in time for a flash of green to blur past me. The shadow woman had her blades out and ready to gut me, only for the blur to catch her in the shoulder and spin her around like a top.
...This? May be Velocity, but I don't recall anyone else that fits the bill.
Also, Shadow lady kinda reminds me of Black Kaze with her instantaneous movements. Though the extra abilities throw that into question, it's familiar enough to point out imo.
...This? May be Velocity, but I don't recall anyone else that fits the bill.
Also, Shadow lady kinda reminds me of Black Kaze with her instantaneous movements. Though the extra abilities throw that into question, it's familiar enough to point out imo.
Nope. Not Velocity. I may have misremembered a few details slightly though. Its supposed to be Miss Militia.
Shadow lady's power isn't speed or clone-based like Black Kaze though. Her porting during the fight is basically a sped up version of her disappearing act at the end, which also ties into her permeability.
I felt a pressure from behind me and I twisted my body into a tight spin, just in in time for a flash of green to blur past me. The shadow woman had her blades out and ready to gut me, only for the blur to catch her in the shoulder and spin her around like a top.
Hmm... can't be Miss Militia, that was who I was thinking of when a green flash was mentioned, but the flash of green occurs when she changes her weapon around, it has nothing to do with her ammo. Well, unless MM was physically charging the shadow girl, but MM is physically a normal person so that doesn't fit. And unless she was sniping from a rooftop or something I would think Taylor would have seen MM when she turned around, but the narrative seems to imply the attack came from directly behind Taylor, as opposed to from above and behind her. Weird, I don't think any of the BB capes have the speed to move so quickly that Taylor wouldn't be able to see them attacking or at least notice them afterwards, and MM is really the only one who has a ranged attack where Taylor wouldn't be able to see the actual attack. (I mean, Rune could have been throwing stuff but as far as I know Rune can't get stuff moving that fast so uses big stuff to compensate and if it had been Rune throwing hunks of concrete Taylor would have noticed it.) So another Bayonetta OC or something?
Taylor was in the air when the blur passed her, so it didn't come from directly behind. The pressure Taylor felt was supposed to be more of a sense of an incoming attack. I might end up rewriting that section for better clarity. Thanks for your comments on it.
Taylor was in the air when the blur passed her, so it didn't come from directly behind. The pressure Taylor felt was supposed to be more of a sense of an incoming attack. I might end up rewriting that section for better clarity. Thanks for your comments on it.
Good point, forgot about the jump. The main problem is that its written like the flash occurs right next to Taylor as opposed to behind her, which would only occur if MM was directly beside her. The green flash occurs when MM uses her power to change her weapon around. Since she's generally HOLDING it when that happens it makes no sense for the flash to be beside Taylor, unless MM is going to physically attack shadow girl, which makes no sense as MM is only as strong and tough as a regular human.
Probably make it so that she felt the "pressure" and/or saw the green flash of MM changing her weapon, did the spin as the shot MM fired went past her. Or something to that effect. Also, do you have a beta? I've noticed numerous missing words here and there in the narrative as well as a few other mistakes.
No, no beta. The narrative errors might have slipped since I wrote this in sections over thr last few months, but I thought I'd gotten all the missing words though.
I dropped down and leaned my head back against the cool brick wall. I was still sitting there when I heard the sound of tires screeching against the road and the slamming of doors. I glanced up briefly only to sink down further when I spotted who was standing there.
"You young lady," Dad said, his voice as tight as the grip on his shotgun. Jeanne stood next to him, her body sheathed in a white leather bodysuit, and a strange cat-like mask that left her mouth and chin bare and did nothing to hide how upset she was. "Are so grounded."
How much time has passed here? Cause if Miss Militia WERE the one who saved Taylor she would definitely have gotten closer and talked to her to make sure she was all right. The way it is written almost makes it sound like she just left, which makes no sense at all.
Also, I had assumed the flash was just a glimpse of Shadow Stalker's armor, with the blurring coming from her activating her power. If that actually is supposed to be MM, then the reaction to whatever she fired also seems off, since it's probably coming out of a gun. There should also, probably, be a mention of noise when the weapon fires.
Hello everyone. It's been a while, hasn't it. This isn't what you were probably expecting, though, then again, it probably won't be too much of a surprise either. This fic is dead, unfortunately. I tried to continue it, but as with many of my other stories, my interest in it waned, and after multiple rewrites and stumbling blocks I finally gave up on it.
I figure I might as well do a sort of post-mortem on the fic, reveal some stuff about the characters, where the plot would have gone, things like that.
First off, yes, Bayonetta was killed. But, her soul was not dragged down into Inferno. Instead, she was taken prisoner in Paradiso. The last bit of the story would have involved Taylor freeing her, the two uniting to face down the world-ending threat, and then returning home to their hard-earned happily ever after. At least, mostly, there'd be hints that some in Inferno would take advantage of the power vacuum, leaving a hook for a potential sequel.
Second, this was a multi-cross/fusion, with elements borrowed from the following series: Worm, Bayonetta, The Malazan Book of the Fallen, Anima Beyond Fantasy, Danny Phantom, Warhammer 40k, Kurohime, Spider Man, Disney's Hercules, Hawk and Fisher, League of Legends, Metal Gear Risingmaybe some other things I can't recall at the moment.
This was my rough outline/to-do list:
Arcs:
0. The Party Arc. Basically, Stryker attacks! Sends in mundane troops first. When that fails, Stryker sics a pack of Angels and flees when they're defeated. One of his lieutenants left behind sacrifices himself to summon a greater Angel. Taylor defeats it but is wounded and completely spent in the effort.
1. Stryker Chase. Divided into 3 mini-arcs; 1 Brockton, 2 Boston, arc interrupted by...
2. Endbringer fight - Simurgh, the fight set in two distinct phases, the first against Ancient tech revived by the Simurgh, ala the Golem from Bayonetta 2, and then the fight against the Simurgh itself.
3. Rest mini arc, not sure how this would have gone. Maybe a beach party, ends with Myrdin delivering the location of Stryker, leading to...
4. Saintsborough, and the end of the Stryker arc. Final fight against one of the Angel's responsible for killing Bayonetta, and laying of hints to future events.
5. Shadow dancing 2 arcs. First arc is finding Giovanni's organization and facing off against his men, second arc is chasing him down in his Realm of Shadows. Ends with reveal of true threat, and his deal with Paradiso
6. Breaking into Heaven 3 arcs, 1 storming the Crimson Church, the Cardinal of the Church of Purification is the point of contact for Paradiso on Earth and from his death a portal can be opened to Paradiso, 2 3 fighting to the Garden of souls, the prison where all souls that refuse to be absorbed into Paradiso are kept separate from the rest of the realm.
7. God is not dead (but he will be) 3 arcs, 1 reunited at last, Bayonetta and Taylor fight their way to the Divine Throneroom, 2 the final battle against the angel that had subsumed Scion and transcended into godhood, drawn back to Paradiso by the slaughter of his comrades in their holy sanctuary.
8. On Gabriel's death, the manipulator behind everything, the one who drew the Entities to Earth, who convinced Aesir to gift his powers to humanity and split himself, who whispered in Alraune's ear, who manipulated events for millennia, steps forward, taking the 31st and final piece of its self from Gabriel's corpse. Reunited at last, Void moves to destroy the walls that separate the Trinity of Realities, to restore the universe to the state of nonexistence before God and The Devil arrived from the death of their own universe on a ship of souls. In a place beyond time and space, the very fate of existence itself hangs in the balance.
Character time:
* Taylor: Would have slowly gotten more powerful, her time stopping ability getting strong enough to counter even her mother's. Her Beast Within forms would be jaguar Within, Raven Within, Dragonfly Within,
and Python Within. Her own strength and agility would also improve fairly rapidly, particularly after each major boss defeated, as she was rewarded for her actions by her friends on the other side. After the Party, she finds she's developed a streak of white in her hair. As she gets more powerful, it spreads more, coinciding with memories not her own. This leads to Taylor rediscovering the lost magic of Bullet Arts.
She also had a whole suite of gear in the wings waiting for her.
Samain Night * Titania, Morrigain, Tanaquill, and Mab - Taylor's Revolvers, given to her by Rodin, reforged from the Unforgiven that belonged to her grandmother. Each gun is embossed with a bird in flight, respectively an Eagle, Raven, Falcon, and Owl.
Peer Gynt Suite 1 * Grendel - A hinged blade axe, designed to look like a massive set of open jaws, on impact, the bottom half snaps up. Can then be wielded as a large executioner's axe.
Verdi's Anvil * Brunhilde - Gauntlets, generate black lightning that arcs from , the lightning can pick up magnetic objects, either throwing them or manipulating them.
Mercury, the Winged Messenger * Shiva - A pair of chakram, can be thrown, slow on hit, and inflict freezing on combo strikes. When equipped to feet, become bladed roller skates that leave a trail of ice behind them.
Scheherazade's suite, 1888. * Cleopatra - A snake-themed extendable spear. Can wrap around and grasp distant objects, allowing Taylor to pull herself to them or swing over chasms.
Tchaikovsky 1812 Overture * Gilgamesh - pair of underslung artillery cannons, wielded similar to tonfa.
Ave Maria * Yggdrasil - A two-handed sword's handle attached to a giant revolver's cylinder, from which projects a blade of pure magic. The ultimate sword, capable of killing gods.
* Fi and Vi Armstrong: based off of Fiora and Vi from League of Legends. Both inherited the nanomachines that flow through their father's veins. It manifests differently for each of them, and their own talents lie in different directions. Fiora was tutored in swordsmanship by her mother and her father's bodyguard Jack. When she activates her nanomachines, her skin and hair darken, and her body becomes more malleable, allowing her to transform her limbs into blades of various shapes while also becoming more resistant to damage. Vi was taught to fight by her father, her nanomachines manifesting primarily as brute strength. When activated though, her hair goes white and her skin turns red before igniting into flame, drastically increasing her physical capabilities and granting her a small degree of pyrokinesis. They are the reincarnations of Sword and Asura, respectively.
* Lois Iphera and Peter Iphera: Based off of Danny and Danni Phantom. Related to the Pelham/Dallons, they are third-gen capes. Peter is the inverse, instead of generating energy, drains it, uses it create 'dark matter' ropes and webs. Operates under the name of Twilight. Lois is more true to her original, with energy generation, flight etc, under the name of Morningstar. Would have shown up at the house party accompanied by their parents Maddie and Ben.
* Brigid Mclain, aka Ember. Due to her father, much more shy and withdrawn except when around friends, when she can be every bit as much the caustic hellion she's based on. Strongly driven towards seeing justice done, after seeing it suborned and subverted so much around her father. Strongly feminist as well, again due in part to her father's stifling attitudes, but also due to her friends and association with the Headmistress of the school. Her father is Hades, a cape who controls territory in both New York and New Jersey. A pyrokinetic, capable of transmuting his entire body into smoke and flames. Brigid has a lesser degree of this, her hair permanently turned the blue of her flames, but also allowing her to generate 'hands' constructed of non-burning flames. The reincarnation of Zero.
* Alicia Dominica and Selena Dominica. Based of the Sisters of Battle from Warhammer 40k. Alicia is the leader of The Crusade, a parahuman force related to the Christian Church, fighting for peace and freedom across the world, and hunting down supernatural threats. Alicia is a tinker, who produces gear that requires faith in order to function. Selena herself carries some tinkertech with her wherever she goes.
* Giovanni: appearance based on Lucanor Giovanni from the Anima RPG, the character himself Shadowthrone/Ammanas/Kellanved from the Malazan book of the fallen. Would have been the second to final antagonist. Not a cape, he employs several in his organization, including Sorry. Taylor would have a role in defeating him, mostly by keeping Sorry and The Rope busy, the battle would come down to Shadowthrone vs. Myrdin, aka Quick Ben, the reason why Shadowthrone is on Bet.
* Sorry: just another girl picked up and possessed by The Rope. This time it was done willingly, which afforded a greater degree of autonomy and separation between her and The Rope compared to the original. PRT codename: Shadowdancer, for her ability to travel through shadows, attack through them, vanish, and her phasing and healing abilities.
* Myrdin: Quick Ben, wandering through a Warren after the end of the Malazan Book of the Fallen series, searching for the source of another great disturbance. He stumbles into the Entities punching through the Warren of Shadow from beyond even the Warren of Chaos, similar to the Chained God, something that Shadowthrone blames him for, having found Quick Ben at the scene just as the wizard is trying to fix the damage. He ends up jumping through the hole before the furious god can tear him apart.
His many Warrens, dimensions of primal energy, some possible to travel through, serve to help establish him as one of many Capes on the world he had found himself on. He spent years working to hunt down both the Entities and the path home, but the Warrens aren't quite the ones he remembers, and he dares not try to sneak through the Warren of Shadow when Shadowthrone is certain to be waiting.
* Stryker: the first major villain Taylor would face. He would attack the housewarming party with his Purifiers. After the initial attacks are rebuffed, the sick, elderly and infirm among his followers commit ritual suicide, the act summoning forces of Paradiso to the battle.
Taylor chases him down, the trail leading to Boston, where she links up with Myrdin whose investigating a series of impossible murders at places like graveyards and churches, the two teaming up to track down Stryker's base.
The break in, busting heads, and Taylor brings the fight to the heavenly armed and armoured Reverend.
On the verge of defeat, he takes his own life, the ritual sacrifice summoning the angel that was his patron, Levanael.
* Levanael: the Spirit of the Night. Unlike many other Angels, Levanael is neither soldier nor scholar; rather he is a divine assassin. His wings are black as night, his porcelain mask featureless.
Levanael cut a deal with Shadowthrone via his association with the Rope. In exchange for their aid with eliminating a thorn in Paradiso's side, the Angelic Host would help locate the one they sought.
Facing defeat, Levanael opts to retreat, though not before revealing the nature of his arrangement with Shadowthrone.
Levanael and Taylor meet again during her storming of Heaven. That encounter results in his demise.
* The Warden. Protector of Paradiso's prisoners. He guards the souls that resist being subsumed by Paradiso through magic, demonic taint, or sheer force of will. Bayonetta happens to possess all three. The Garden appears unguarded, except the Warden is the prison itself; an angel of titanic proportions, a mobile fortress covered in cannons, traps, and other defenses that are hidden until the intruder is too far in. Defeated by entering his mouth and tearing his seven hearts apart from the inside.
* Gabriel. Formerly an Archangel, he found Scion, and offered his mercy to the eldritch being who suffered so greatly after falling to Earth. The two became one, distancing Gabriel from the affairs of Paradiso, Earth and Inferno, while at the same time magnifying his power a thousand fold. Takes the form of a many headed beast, large enough to swallow the horizon, its body serpentine and long enough to wrap around the Earth itself.
Taylor's actions and the deaths of so many of the Angelic Host, and so many high ranked ones at that, brings his attention back to Paradiso. Only the combined efforts of Jeanne, Bayonetta,and Taylor is enough to defeat him, in doing so breaking the divine power base for centuries.
* Void: The Primal entity that embodies the concept of Nothingness or Nonexistence. Was torn apart when God created light, created something to exist. His malevolence and hatred for all existance was sealed in thirty-one pieces of black metal and hidden across the world. Thirty were united by accident, drawn to the confluence of divine energy on Earth, resulting in the destruction of the source of divinity. The thirty pieces would reanimate the bones of the Son of God, using it travel the world in search of the final piece that forever locked away its great power. Finally, upon detecting a massive portal to Paradiso, it also picked up the scent of the last piece, bestowed by God before his great journey to his most loyal Angel.
Other notes:
Emma would have attended the party, and it would have led to the following unfinished scene
Taylor! It's been ages, how are you?
"I..." Emma... "Why don't we go catch up, in private." "She winced as my nails dug into her arm. "Why are you here. I hissed.
"Your Dad invited my Dad and I didn't have a good reason for my Dad to not be here. You can go ahead and hit me, I know I deserve it.
Why would I do that?
I made school a living hell for you!
Hell? Not even close. A nightmare, sure, but at the end of classes, I could wake up from it.
I tormented you for years!
What do you want from me Emma?
Slap me across the face! Punch me! Scream in my ears! Something!
Why?
That's... that's how it's supposed to work.
That makes no sense.
That day at school, when you beat up all those skinheads? I was coming to tell you I was done.
You're fucking with me. Right? Why the fuck would you care, huh?
Just because I treated you like shit didn't mean that I wanted to see you dead! I never wanted that.
Emma?
I saw it, all of it, on the news? I made you run, if it was t for me you would have never been near the bank.
That wasn't your fault. Why the hell was i defending her? She was the bitch that had tortured me for years.
Except... the quiet, reserved girl in front of me wasn't that girl.
Yes it was! God, I
I know you won't ever forgive me. That's alright. I can handle it. It's like Sophia always says, there's the strong, and the weak, and-
The hell are you talking about! That bitch is as bad as you are! Why the fuck would I care one bit what she says?
She saved my life!
What.
The last time we talked, on the phone, you remember?
Yeah. I remember.
She saved me. And Daddy. If it wasn't for her...
Emma...
Don't touch me! I don't want your pity.
It's not pity, its sympathy.
That's... No, I don't need that, I'm stronger that that. I'm a survivor.
Emma... You stupid bitch!
Wha-
Why the hell didn't you just tell me?
You're damn right.
I thought I'd finally gotten rid of that last bit of hope that there was still a little of the Emma I used to know left in you, then you do this!
I'm sorry?
Yeah, there would have been a bit of reconciliation between the two of them.
Taylor's code name by the PRT would have been Elphaba, though she would fight to change it to something else. Jeanne would have been Glinda. Cutie J was unfortunately subject to a number of copyright lawsuits.
I think that's everything... if you have any questions, feel free to ask.
this was a multi-cross/fusion, with elements borrowed from the following series: Worm, Bayonetta, The Malazan Book of the Fallen, Anima Beyond Fantasy, Danny Phantom, Warhammer 40k, Kurohime, Spider Man, Disney's Hercules, Hawk and Fisher, League of Legends, maybe some other things I can't recall at the moment.
...yeah. Pretty sure this is your problem right here. :/
If I had any advice to give, it would be to dramatically narrow your focus. The more elements you try to cram in, no matter how cool or fitting they may seem at first, the more difficult you make things for yourself further down the road.
It was, for the most part. Honestly, that was a list of all characters that were mentioned in the story, not necessarily core parts of the plot.
If I had to consider which ones were central to things, what the story actually covered, it would be Bayonetta/Worm/Kurohime. Maybe with Marvel and MBotF for the villains too.
...yeah. Pretty sure this is your problem right here. :/
If I had any advice to give, it would be to dramatically narrow your focus. The more elements you try to cram in, no matter how cool or fitting they may seem at first, the more difficult you make things for yourself further down the road.
I'm aware. That wasn't necessarily the issue here. I did have everything kind of outlined, and those crosses were there for a purpose. The main ones at least, the ones in my response to OverReactionGuy. The other ones I listed were for things I borrowed to flesh out the world, particularly the students of Immaculata.
If I were to continue it, I'd try to get the party arc out of the way quickly, potentially skipping it wholesale with a timeskip, so I could move onto the more narrowed down VS. arcs.
I agree multi crosses rarely work........you either have to write a lot for a lot of side characters no one knows or cares about or in my cases I get lost with all of the characters.
WormxBayonetta would have been enough. I'll keep this on watch, the muses might strike you again.
Two or three dead stories have been resurrected so I plan to keep hope alive!
I really dislike handheld games consoles.............and a exclusive just to make you buy a new console?
Bayonetta the first one came on a variety of consoles.........2 and 3 Wii U and Nintendo Switch.
I LOVE the franchise........hate handheld consoles, guess its true you get stuck in your ways as you get older.
I really dislike handheld games consoles.............and a exclusive just to make you buy a new console?
Bayonetta the first one came on a variety of consoles.........2 and 3 Wii U and Nintendo Switch.
I LOVE the franchise........hate handheld consoles, guess its true you get stuck in your ways as you get older.
