How a Gentleman Deals Part 2
Hood raised her eyes but not her chin from the intricate wood grain of the table and wondering at the whorls and width, of what each meant in the life of the tree that had provided the table. Among the five empty glasses, she saw another. She normally stopped at five gin and tonics. But after hearing about the latest triumph, she might have ordered a sixth, she didn't remember.
She wasn't so far gone that she couldn't reach the glass and bring it to her lips as she sat up. She was far enough gone to miss the flavor of electrified paint thinner until she'd drained half the glass.
"Gackahhh!" she said as she set the glass down.
"You can't get good wodka here," Gangut said as she threw back a tumbler of the same stuff and refilled her and Hood's glass.
"Gangut? When did you get here?" Hood asked as she searched the empty gin and tonic glasses for any liquid left in them to get the taste out of her mouth. They were all dry. "The Yanks and their ice in everything, I guess it does serve a purpose."
"I, sometime in the middle of, 'Captain, better than me. What have I done?' Implying accomplishments lacking, and 'What have I done?' implying actions regretted." The Russian battleship threw back the tumbler. "Ahhh! But it tastes like bad mineral spirits, good wodka should taste like dry-cleaning fluid. Your mistake is drinking these and calling them medicine. You need quinine in the tropics, not in London, and if you were Russian, you'd drink the quinine and take your tipple straight. You want flavor, drink American sodas."
"So Russians drink just to get drunk." Hood looked at the glass dubiously.
"Ha!" Gangut threw back the tumbler. "Ahh! Nyet, a Russian drinks to become more Russian!"
Hood tried to duplicate Gangut's technique, and was certain she'd snuffled out her boilers, and still set her engine room on fire. She couldn't even cough.
"You are sitting here, alone, pretty Hood, terror of the Kriegsmarine, and why?" Gangut asked, "Because you were stupid. It happens."
Hood stared at Gangut in horror, but the Russian continued, "You are alive, so you do all things, clever and stupid, and those that look as one but are the other. Now you think everyone hates you. HA!" Gangut said and threw back another tumbler of vodka, "Now, most Englanders cannot be true friends, but warships, yes they maybe. So, the question is, do you wish to continue being stupid, or do you go to your friends and say 'I was stupid, can you help me be less stupid in the future.' All it requires is you doing the same." Gangut stood up and leaned over the table. Her breath nearly constituted a flash fire hazard. "No one hates you as much as you hate you, they have seen that, they want you to let them love you again. So Gangut was on his way to the Med., so he stops to know where are all the British fishing boats, and maybe get an escort of Japanese torpedo boats." She whispered the next, "They'll be there anyway, we all know that."
Hood could only stare at Gangut as she walked deeper into the club. Hood put her forehead on the table and wondered if she'd offended St. George, St. Andrew and St. Patrick.
"So, since 'Mighty 'ood' never uses her H," she heard Gangut's voice, "She gives it to you on 99-year lease, then you can finally spell your name right."
If I seem I've passed out, Hood wondered, Will she leave?
"Wales isn't spelled with an 'H'," Prince of Wales said archly.
Hood's eyes shot open but she kept her head on the table.
"Wha?" Gangut announced in horror, "You mean KGV An-son isn't a law firm? I've been bamboozled?"
"Yes, you've been bamboozled," the fourth of the King George the Fifth class explained patiently, one of the reasons the battlecruiser of the same name had been seconded to the JMSDF.
"Ah! Hood, with a candle stick in the conservatory, and people say Russians don't have Clue," Gangut said.
Hood found herself pulled upright and Gangut's hand clamped on her jaw. While she stared in horror at the four KGV's, and Suffolk and Norfolk. It was worse when Gangut moved her jaw and she heard her own voice saying. " 'I was stupid, please my loyal friends will you help me be less stupid in the future.'"
Gangut set down the glass of water she'd been drinking while the speech was made and carefully set Hood back face down on the table.
"It must be a hard thing to say such, but Gangut was glad to be here to hear it," the battleship said. Hood sat up on her own.
"Russian sense of subtlety," battleship Howe said as she massaged her forehead.
"Da, you must be very sneaking to be so obvious. She couldn't say it, now it's been said." A hand clamped on Hood's shoulder. "Now she will say it for real."
Hood wasn't quite sure if it was a threat or a drill instructor to a raw recruit. She looked at the four battleships and two cruisers, and noted that the entire club seemed to have gone silent.
"In your own time," Gangut said, "But it will happen, tonight."
------------------------------
Missouri reels back as if I had hit her. Houshou buries her face in my side to hide her laughter. "Gangut has admired Hood for a while, and was willing to 'do me a solid' to get her back on the right track," I say, "Once she got started, Hood gave an apology that brought the house down. Even Gangut was part of the group hug. So I solve problems, even those I had a hand in, but you and Yamato, it's clear all you needed was a push."
"Especially from behind." Houshou manages to suppress her laughs down to quirking smiles and she looks at Missouri. "If you don't mind, I'd like to put him to bed. We are going to a hot springs soon."
Missouri numbly nods and turns away like a ship on autopilot.
"So Gangut and Hood are dating?" Houshou asks quietly.
"They're further along on their relationship than we are," I admit, "Apologies, perhaps I hate in others weakness I see in myself."
"Well, if I haven't been signaling 'slow ahead' I haven't made my desires clear. Both of us can enjoy the anticipation, and just cuddling. You're like a big destroyer in that regard." She laughs. "And your idea of what fair fighting odds are."
"Touche," I admit, "I will have to send the drilling back to H&H for a refurbishment."
"Well, Chesty Puller, on seeing a flamethrower asked where to put the bayonet, perhaps that might be a question to apply to them."
I nod.
------------------------------
Missouri was still in a bit of a daze when she arrived back at the Iowas' temporary quarters. New Jersey's hail broke her out of her funk.
"You might want to bone up on Naruto," New Jersey said.
"Why?" she asked.
"It seems one of the forum posters you enjoy arguing ship-girls with, Tenzoo Konoha-nin, well I looked it up on a Naruto wiki," New Jersey said in subdued tones.
Missouri walked over and looked at the entry. "Oh no."
"Something else to talk about," Iowa offered.
"I thought Tenzoo was a man!" Missouri insisted.
------------------------------
Houshou sat on the edge of the tub and washed Howe's back. She smiled at the shorts he wore, while she still wore a one-piece swimsuit.
"You don't have to do this," he said.
"One, after a few days in the bath, and after the battle, you don't smell so good. Two, you washed out my hair," Houshou said.
"If I insist on it being long, I should at least help in the upkeep," Howe said, "Besides, I find it relaxing."
"Well, I find this relaxing, and if I chose the soap, I get to pick what you smell like in bed," Houshou said.
"Ah, good thinking," Howe said.
"This is not the right time, but, are you getting those other girls together so you must settle for me?" Houshou asked, "Getting temptation out of the way?"
"To be perfectly honest, I don't find Yamato or Missouri all that interesting. I find that Garfield the Cat explains it well: 'cute rots the intellect.' As for Hood, the Yandere and Tsundere are people needing extensive psychiatric treatment, they do not make 'cute' girl friends once you get through their defensiveness."
"Sorry, I guess I'm used to serving a purpose, and getting set aside for something newer and shinier," Houshou said.
"Then understand, no, you are not my 'ideal' but everyone who approaches that ideal, the woman who could stand beside me in line of battle, has proven a coward, insane, or both. Such a requirement is unfair to you, my armor belt alone outweighs your standard displacement. So you are what I need rather than some nebulous Glauce that later becomes a bunny-boiler when there are no wars left to fight." Howe turned and collected her into his lap. "I also want someone who is petite enough to snuggle with, yet strong enough of will and intellect to tell me when I have gone foolish, discerning enough to understand when I'm intentionally being silly and when I have started down a foolish path. Someone able to challenge me, without becoming an endless war of tit for tat."
Houshou pressed herself against him and held him tightly.
------------------------------
Armidale, Curtatone and Lupo were walking along the beach. The trio were going over a map of the area around the restaurant, seeking ambush points, places to be occupied to 'dissuade' paparazzi, and where to place the reserves. They'd walked the ground themselves over the last few days with several other destroyers. The 'Howe Plan', of ordering many kids meals and then concentrating on what was favored had been communicated. The place wasn't Italian, it was seafood that boasted both Japanese and more Western specialties.
The sound of weeping brought their attention around. They knew what their nations and their dad-bote would expect of them. Looking down the short sea wall they found themselves looking at a figure. The tattered sundress and disheveled black hair with the pigtail gave the impression of Ranma Saotome in mid-transition. Her tearful, miserable expression would have melted their hearts, except the blue glow of her eyes and imagining the girl wearing just a black bikini and the image of her Abyssal rigging.
"Please," the Abyssal said in soft tones, "Tell Mister Howe I told everyone I could." She burst out in sobs. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do next!"
The trio turned to look at each other, wondering what to do next.
------------------------------
The Ri stared at the camera, speaker and microphone set up. No human interrogator would be left alone in a room with her. The small collection of Legos(tm) before her a tell into her mental and psychiatric status. They were also too light to punch through the walls if thrown.
"We understand you don't like humans," the interrogator said from another room.
"If you all dropped dead I wouldn't mind," she replied
"Yet you knew that Mister Howe had sided with the humans," the interrogator said.
"That's not his fault!" the Abyssal screamed as she shot to her feet, "I can change him!"
The interrogator glanced over at the facepalming battlecruiser. Howe nodded. They'd discussed this, and the interrogator hadn't believed it possible.
"What if he already has a girl friend?" the interrogator asked.
The abyssal sat down, staring at the Legos, more moving them around than assembling anything, but not smashing them either. She finally said, "I guess I could share."
------------------------------
The sack thrown over her head forced the Abyssal awake, the hissed 'Silence!' told her that this was a test rather than an abduction. Her imagination ran wild as her expectation and terror made an exploding cocktail as someone, she knew who, threw her over his shoulder and stormed away. She could feel she was outside and smelled the sea when she was roughly set on a rock. When the bag was yanked away, she saw the face of the insipid carrier she'd ferreted out had ensnared Howe.
Then she froze as the carrier's eyes glowed purple. She looked over to Howe, whose eyes likewise showed the same purple light. She never even heard of Abyssals with purple eyes, and no ship-girl could make their eyes glow that way. She quickly bowed to the carrier. "I am sorry, I didn't know," she said, while punishment for such actions could be extreme, apologizing meant she might survive.
Howe grabbed her chin to stare at her. He blinked a long while, and when he reopened his eyes, they were indistinguishable from a ship-girl's. He turned her head to look at the carrier, who did the same, blinked long and then appeared to be a ship-girl. She was realizing just how badly she'd screwed up, and she hoped her death would be quick as Howe turned her to look at him again.
"What do the Abyssals plan once the humans are destroyed?" Howe growled.
Eager for any hope of extending her life, even a few moments, she opened her mouth to answer, and with growing despair realized she didn't know. She was sitting there waiting for the blow to fall, when the carrier asked, "How did you return so soon, aren't their other Princesses you could be warning?"
That had a simple answer. "They'd shoot me dead, before they'd listen to me." She knew what an inadequate answer that was and sought anything that would extend her life. "I returned for more orders." It was only half a lie, no Princess would accept a Ri who'd been part of that massacre, so she had nowhere else to go. Howe had shown mercy once, when he apparently needed her, he might show it again if she could make herself needed.
"Now put those two thoughts together," Howe ordered.
She trembled at the menace in his voice, but it made him beautiful beyond his physical appearance. "We would war on each other?" she offered, she was only a Ri, but that seemed the only conclusion she could draw.
"So, if we do not have the ideas that would end the war with our victory," the carrier said.
"Who else can we consult with?" Howe asked, his cruel smile made her force aside images of him beating her into submission, and doing things to her bleeding body that humans were reputed to do with ship-girls, that kept ship-girls their loyal slaves.
She covered her mouth with her hands to help stifle the scream of torture and revulsion that the obvious conclusion tried to draw from her.
"I think she gets it," the carrier said.
"The Abyss will give us the answer once we've won!" she hissed, remembering not to shout at the last moment. Her life still hung by a thread.
"You are merely a cruiser, a battlecruiser and even more an installation must plan for all eventualities, and we can't ask them once they're all dead," Howe told her.
"So, you're spies?" she asked, "Spying on the humans?"
"Of course not, hardly a chance of that, we are both perfectly normal ship-girls," Howe said and then leaned close, "Aren't we?"
She managed a nod, and to avoid peeing herself. If only he'd hit her, it would make the event perfect.
"Information is available everywhere, what we need at any rate," Howe said.
"So you will behave, you will learn all you can about human social interactions," the carrier said, "We know you hate humans, so request a group of destroyers to screen you."
"They will assume it is to protect the humans from you," Howe said, "Let them think that, encourage them to think that. Avoid investigating anything about weapons or ship systems or strategic goals or any other secrets. Those are meaningless to us. How humans live, how they have lived, and speculation about how they will live in the future, those are worthy targets."
"Also study their animal companions, and their prey animals," the carrier said, "Their social interactions, that is what we need."
"Officially we will be socializing you, if things make you uncomfortable, we will discuss it. After all, we'll need to apply it to all Abyssals," Howe said, she nodded eagerly.
"When will we discuss transmitting this?" she asked, and felt she had disappointed them both.
"We will not ever discuss it, when it is necessary it will be obvious. Once we are done here, this conversation never happened," the carrier said, "As far as they know, we are lecturing you on 'how to human', the minimum needed to survive. That is do not start any fights even if they are easily winnable, only fight to prevent your death, injuries are second to the mission."
"Understood," she said feeling more smooth seas under her keel.
"The destroyers may cuddlepile you, this is not a hostile swarming attack, but an affirmation of their bond," Howe said.
"The destroyers here are okay, they at least know ships are for fighting and killing," she said.
"Fighting and killing the enemy, right now they are sources of information," Howe said, "Do not assume. We will inform you if that changes. Until we do, it has not."
She nodded.
"You have already drawn a conclusion about other ships?" the carrier asked.
She nodded, and explained, "Yes the Kongo battlecruiser, if she continues her leaping assault on the Admiral, she will eventually catch him near a window, drive both of them through. She will likely land atop him killing or crippling him instantly."
"You don't like humans, correct," Howe asked.
She nodded. "I understand I am forbidden to hurt them." She was shocked that both Howe and the carrier were laughing.
"We never said that," the carrier told her, "You have to be subtle."
"Take what you just described, if you congratulate Kongo on her plan to assassinate the Admiral and make it look like an accident, it will hurt her," Howe said, "But you can claim ignorance, or sarcasm, once you figure out what sarcasm is. Likewise the many spies watching you will be looking for patterns. Humans have a pattern-matching intelligence. If you avoid all military intelligence, they will assume you will be seeking some deeper secret. If you go shopping, they will assume you are training for infiltration, if you cook food, they will assume you are getting ready to poison an audience. In short, by doing nothing, they will assume the worse of every action and scramble to mitigate it, losing credibility in their allies' eyes and harming themselves. And you have zero ill-intent. But are just following orders to take no offensive action, they will assume wilder and more insane possibilities."
She couldn't help but smile at that.
"All right, any questions?" the carrier asked.
"Are you both going to be beating me?" she asked and trusted she was wearing an expectant expression.
The carrier approached. "No," she said, her breath tickling the Ri's skin, "There are ways of inflicting pain from the littlest mote to screaming agony, and all without harming the flesh. Among humans, it's almost forbidden lore, but it is there." The carrier licked her ear. "I can have you screaming for the release of death a dozen times a night, and leave not a mark on you."
She was trembling with anticipation as the bag went over her head and Howe carried her onto her new life.
She wasn't so far gone that she couldn't reach the glass and bring it to her lips as she sat up. She was far enough gone to miss the flavor of electrified paint thinner until she'd drained half the glass.
"Gackahhh!" she said as she set the glass down.
"You can't get good wodka here," Gangut said as she threw back a tumbler of the same stuff and refilled her and Hood's glass.
"Gangut? When did you get here?" Hood asked as she searched the empty gin and tonic glasses for any liquid left in them to get the taste out of her mouth. They were all dry. "The Yanks and their ice in everything, I guess it does serve a purpose."
"I, sometime in the middle of, 'Captain, better than me. What have I done?' Implying accomplishments lacking, and 'What have I done?' implying actions regretted." The Russian battleship threw back the tumbler. "Ahhh! But it tastes like bad mineral spirits, good wodka should taste like dry-cleaning fluid. Your mistake is drinking these and calling them medicine. You need quinine in the tropics, not in London, and if you were Russian, you'd drink the quinine and take your tipple straight. You want flavor, drink American sodas."
"So Russians drink just to get drunk." Hood looked at the glass dubiously.
"Ha!" Gangut threw back the tumbler. "Ahh! Nyet, a Russian drinks to become more Russian!"
Hood tried to duplicate Gangut's technique, and was certain she'd snuffled out her boilers, and still set her engine room on fire. She couldn't even cough.
"You are sitting here, alone, pretty Hood, terror of the Kriegsmarine, and why?" Gangut asked, "Because you were stupid. It happens."
Hood stared at Gangut in horror, but the Russian continued, "You are alive, so you do all things, clever and stupid, and those that look as one but are the other. Now you think everyone hates you. HA!" Gangut said and threw back another tumbler of vodka, "Now, most Englanders cannot be true friends, but warships, yes they maybe. So, the question is, do you wish to continue being stupid, or do you go to your friends and say 'I was stupid, can you help me be less stupid in the future.' All it requires is you doing the same." Gangut stood up and leaned over the table. Her breath nearly constituted a flash fire hazard. "No one hates you as much as you hate you, they have seen that, they want you to let them love you again. So Gangut was on his way to the Med., so he stops to know where are all the British fishing boats, and maybe get an escort of Japanese torpedo boats." She whispered the next, "They'll be there anyway, we all know that."
Hood could only stare at Gangut as she walked deeper into the club. Hood put her forehead on the table and wondered if she'd offended St. George, St. Andrew and St. Patrick.
"So, since 'Mighty 'ood' never uses her H," she heard Gangut's voice, "She gives it to you on 99-year lease, then you can finally spell your name right."
If I seem I've passed out, Hood wondered, Will she leave?
"Wales isn't spelled with an 'H'," Prince of Wales said archly.
Hood's eyes shot open but she kept her head on the table.
"Wha?" Gangut announced in horror, "You mean KGV An-son isn't a law firm? I've been bamboozled?"
"Yes, you've been bamboozled," the fourth of the King George the Fifth class explained patiently, one of the reasons the battlecruiser of the same name had been seconded to the JMSDF.
"Ah! Hood, with a candle stick in the conservatory, and people say Russians don't have Clue," Gangut said.
Hood found herself pulled upright and Gangut's hand clamped on her jaw. While she stared in horror at the four KGV's, and Suffolk and Norfolk. It was worse when Gangut moved her jaw and she heard her own voice saying. " 'I was stupid, please my loyal friends will you help me be less stupid in the future.'"
Gangut set down the glass of water she'd been drinking while the speech was made and carefully set Hood back face down on the table.
"It must be a hard thing to say such, but Gangut was glad to be here to hear it," the battleship said. Hood sat up on her own.
"Russian sense of subtlety," battleship Howe said as she massaged her forehead.
"Da, you must be very sneaking to be so obvious. She couldn't say it, now it's been said." A hand clamped on Hood's shoulder. "Now she will say it for real."
Hood wasn't quite sure if it was a threat or a drill instructor to a raw recruit. She looked at the four battleships and two cruisers, and noted that the entire club seemed to have gone silent.
"In your own time," Gangut said, "But it will happen, tonight."
------------------------------
Missouri reels back as if I had hit her. Houshou buries her face in my side to hide her laughter. "Gangut has admired Hood for a while, and was willing to 'do me a solid' to get her back on the right track," I say, "Once she got started, Hood gave an apology that brought the house down. Even Gangut was part of the group hug. So I solve problems, even those I had a hand in, but you and Yamato, it's clear all you needed was a push."
"Especially from behind." Houshou manages to suppress her laughs down to quirking smiles and she looks at Missouri. "If you don't mind, I'd like to put him to bed. We are going to a hot springs soon."
Missouri numbly nods and turns away like a ship on autopilot.
"So Gangut and Hood are dating?" Houshou asks quietly.
"They're further along on their relationship than we are," I admit, "Apologies, perhaps I hate in others weakness I see in myself."
"Well, if I haven't been signaling 'slow ahead' I haven't made my desires clear. Both of us can enjoy the anticipation, and just cuddling. You're like a big destroyer in that regard." She laughs. "And your idea of what fair fighting odds are."
"Touche," I admit, "I will have to send the drilling back to H&H for a refurbishment."
"Well, Chesty Puller, on seeing a flamethrower asked where to put the bayonet, perhaps that might be a question to apply to them."
I nod.
------------------------------
Missouri was still in a bit of a daze when she arrived back at the Iowas' temporary quarters. New Jersey's hail broke her out of her funk.
"You might want to bone up on Naruto," New Jersey said.
"Why?" she asked.
"It seems one of the forum posters you enjoy arguing ship-girls with, Tenzoo Konoha-nin, well I looked it up on a Naruto wiki," New Jersey said in subdued tones.
Missouri walked over and looked at the entry. "Oh no."
"Something else to talk about," Iowa offered.
"I thought Tenzoo was a man!" Missouri insisted.
------------------------------
Houshou sat on the edge of the tub and washed Howe's back. She smiled at the shorts he wore, while she still wore a one-piece swimsuit.
"You don't have to do this," he said.
"One, after a few days in the bath, and after the battle, you don't smell so good. Two, you washed out my hair," Houshou said.
"If I insist on it being long, I should at least help in the upkeep," Howe said, "Besides, I find it relaxing."
"Well, I find this relaxing, and if I chose the soap, I get to pick what you smell like in bed," Houshou said.
"Ah, good thinking," Howe said.
"This is not the right time, but, are you getting those other girls together so you must settle for me?" Houshou asked, "Getting temptation out of the way?"
"To be perfectly honest, I don't find Yamato or Missouri all that interesting. I find that Garfield the Cat explains it well: 'cute rots the intellect.' As for Hood, the Yandere and Tsundere are people needing extensive psychiatric treatment, they do not make 'cute' girl friends once you get through their defensiveness."
"Sorry, I guess I'm used to serving a purpose, and getting set aside for something newer and shinier," Houshou said.
"Then understand, no, you are not my 'ideal' but everyone who approaches that ideal, the woman who could stand beside me in line of battle, has proven a coward, insane, or both. Such a requirement is unfair to you, my armor belt alone outweighs your standard displacement. So you are what I need rather than some nebulous Glauce that later becomes a bunny-boiler when there are no wars left to fight." Howe turned and collected her into his lap. "I also want someone who is petite enough to snuggle with, yet strong enough of will and intellect to tell me when I have gone foolish, discerning enough to understand when I'm intentionally being silly and when I have started down a foolish path. Someone able to challenge me, without becoming an endless war of tit for tat."
Houshou pressed herself against him and held him tightly.
------------------------------
Armidale, Curtatone and Lupo were walking along the beach. The trio were going over a map of the area around the restaurant, seeking ambush points, places to be occupied to 'dissuade' paparazzi, and where to place the reserves. They'd walked the ground themselves over the last few days with several other destroyers. The 'Howe Plan', of ordering many kids meals and then concentrating on what was favored had been communicated. The place wasn't Italian, it was seafood that boasted both Japanese and more Western specialties.
The sound of weeping brought their attention around. They knew what their nations and their dad-bote would expect of them. Looking down the short sea wall they found themselves looking at a figure. The tattered sundress and disheveled black hair with the pigtail gave the impression of Ranma Saotome in mid-transition. Her tearful, miserable expression would have melted their hearts, except the blue glow of her eyes and imagining the girl wearing just a black bikini and the image of her Abyssal rigging.
"Please," the Abyssal said in soft tones, "Tell Mister Howe I told everyone I could." She burst out in sobs. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do next!"
The trio turned to look at each other, wondering what to do next.
------------------------------
The Ri stared at the camera, speaker and microphone set up. No human interrogator would be left alone in a room with her. The small collection of Legos(tm) before her a tell into her mental and psychiatric status. They were also too light to punch through the walls if thrown.
"We understand you don't like humans," the interrogator said from another room.
"If you all dropped dead I wouldn't mind," she replied
"Yet you knew that Mister Howe had sided with the humans," the interrogator said.
"That's not his fault!" the Abyssal screamed as she shot to her feet, "I can change him!"
The interrogator glanced over at the facepalming battlecruiser. Howe nodded. They'd discussed this, and the interrogator hadn't believed it possible.
"What if he already has a girl friend?" the interrogator asked.
The abyssal sat down, staring at the Legos, more moving them around than assembling anything, but not smashing them either. She finally said, "I guess I could share."
------------------------------
The sack thrown over her head forced the Abyssal awake, the hissed 'Silence!' told her that this was a test rather than an abduction. Her imagination ran wild as her expectation and terror made an exploding cocktail as someone, she knew who, threw her over his shoulder and stormed away. She could feel she was outside and smelled the sea when she was roughly set on a rock. When the bag was yanked away, she saw the face of the insipid carrier she'd ferreted out had ensnared Howe.
Then she froze as the carrier's eyes glowed purple. She looked over to Howe, whose eyes likewise showed the same purple light. She never even heard of Abyssals with purple eyes, and no ship-girl could make their eyes glow that way. She quickly bowed to the carrier. "I am sorry, I didn't know," she said, while punishment for such actions could be extreme, apologizing meant she might survive.
Howe grabbed her chin to stare at her. He blinked a long while, and when he reopened his eyes, they were indistinguishable from a ship-girl's. He turned her head to look at the carrier, who did the same, blinked long and then appeared to be a ship-girl. She was realizing just how badly she'd screwed up, and she hoped her death would be quick as Howe turned her to look at him again.
"What do the Abyssals plan once the humans are destroyed?" Howe growled.
Eager for any hope of extending her life, even a few moments, she opened her mouth to answer, and with growing despair realized she didn't know. She was sitting there waiting for the blow to fall, when the carrier asked, "How did you return so soon, aren't their other Princesses you could be warning?"
That had a simple answer. "They'd shoot me dead, before they'd listen to me." She knew what an inadequate answer that was and sought anything that would extend her life. "I returned for more orders." It was only half a lie, no Princess would accept a Ri who'd been part of that massacre, so she had nowhere else to go. Howe had shown mercy once, when he apparently needed her, he might show it again if she could make herself needed.
"Now put those two thoughts together," Howe ordered.
She trembled at the menace in his voice, but it made him beautiful beyond his physical appearance. "We would war on each other?" she offered, she was only a Ri, but that seemed the only conclusion she could draw.
"So, if we do not have the ideas that would end the war with our victory," the carrier said.
"Who else can we consult with?" Howe asked, his cruel smile made her force aside images of him beating her into submission, and doing things to her bleeding body that humans were reputed to do with ship-girls, that kept ship-girls their loyal slaves.
She covered her mouth with her hands to help stifle the scream of torture and revulsion that the obvious conclusion tried to draw from her.
"I think she gets it," the carrier said.
"The Abyss will give us the answer once we've won!" she hissed, remembering not to shout at the last moment. Her life still hung by a thread.
"You are merely a cruiser, a battlecruiser and even more an installation must plan for all eventualities, and we can't ask them once they're all dead," Howe told her.
"So, you're spies?" she asked, "Spying on the humans?"
"Of course not, hardly a chance of that, we are both perfectly normal ship-girls," Howe said and then leaned close, "Aren't we?"
She managed a nod, and to avoid peeing herself. If only he'd hit her, it would make the event perfect.
"Information is available everywhere, what we need at any rate," Howe said.
"So you will behave, you will learn all you can about human social interactions," the carrier said, "We know you hate humans, so request a group of destroyers to screen you."
"They will assume it is to protect the humans from you," Howe said, "Let them think that, encourage them to think that. Avoid investigating anything about weapons or ship systems or strategic goals or any other secrets. Those are meaningless to us. How humans live, how they have lived, and speculation about how they will live in the future, those are worthy targets."
"Also study their animal companions, and their prey animals," the carrier said, "Their social interactions, that is what we need."
"Officially we will be socializing you, if things make you uncomfortable, we will discuss it. After all, we'll need to apply it to all Abyssals," Howe said, she nodded eagerly.
"When will we discuss transmitting this?" she asked, and felt she had disappointed them both.
"We will not ever discuss it, when it is necessary it will be obvious. Once we are done here, this conversation never happened," the carrier said, "As far as they know, we are lecturing you on 'how to human', the minimum needed to survive. That is do not start any fights even if they are easily winnable, only fight to prevent your death, injuries are second to the mission."
"Understood," she said feeling more smooth seas under her keel.
"The destroyers may cuddlepile you, this is not a hostile swarming attack, but an affirmation of their bond," Howe said.
"The destroyers here are okay, they at least know ships are for fighting and killing," she said.
"Fighting and killing the enemy, right now they are sources of information," Howe said, "Do not assume. We will inform you if that changes. Until we do, it has not."
She nodded.
"You have already drawn a conclusion about other ships?" the carrier asked.
She nodded, and explained, "Yes the Kongo battlecruiser, if she continues her leaping assault on the Admiral, she will eventually catch him near a window, drive both of them through. She will likely land atop him killing or crippling him instantly."
"You don't like humans, correct," Howe asked.
She nodded. "I understand I am forbidden to hurt them." She was shocked that both Howe and the carrier were laughing.
"We never said that," the carrier told her, "You have to be subtle."
"Take what you just described, if you congratulate Kongo on her plan to assassinate the Admiral and make it look like an accident, it will hurt her," Howe said, "But you can claim ignorance, or sarcasm, once you figure out what sarcasm is. Likewise the many spies watching you will be looking for patterns. Humans have a pattern-matching intelligence. If you avoid all military intelligence, they will assume you will be seeking some deeper secret. If you go shopping, they will assume you are training for infiltration, if you cook food, they will assume you are getting ready to poison an audience. In short, by doing nothing, they will assume the worse of every action and scramble to mitigate it, losing credibility in their allies' eyes and harming themselves. And you have zero ill-intent. But are just following orders to take no offensive action, they will assume wilder and more insane possibilities."
She couldn't help but smile at that.
"All right, any questions?" the carrier asked.
"Are you both going to be beating me?" she asked and trusted she was wearing an expectant expression.
The carrier approached. "No," she said, her breath tickling the Ri's skin, "There are ways of inflicting pain from the littlest mote to screaming agony, and all without harming the flesh. Among humans, it's almost forbidden lore, but it is there." The carrier licked her ear. "I can have you screaming for the release of death a dozen times a night, and leave not a mark on you."
She was trembling with anticipation as the bag went over her head and Howe carried her onto her new life.