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An Exciting New Announcement! (April 1st)

Ford Prefect

Ford Prefect

What is Project Zohar?
Director
Location
The Hague
Pronouns
He/Him
The following April Fool's joke was masterminded and developed by @Redshirt Army. We would like to thank him for putting together one of the funniest things we've ever had on SV.

There's nothing worse for a website than stagnation. Constant innovation - the churn of new ideas - is the lifeblood of any website. And that's why we're so pleased to announce that SV is taking a new and unprecedented step forward in the world of web forums.


Yes, that's right. We're taking the plunge and creating the world's first forum cryptocurrency, taking a bold step towards Web 3.0 technologies, a true generational leap forward! Once the rollout is complete, you will be able to mint and trade SVCoins directly on the forum platform, enabling a whole host of blockchain-based technologies to be implemented!


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The most important of these will be the ability to mint NFTs on the SV Blockchain, both of any post that strikes your fancy, and an exclusive series of Lazy Lampreys!


We know that you will all have a great deal of questions, so here is our attempt to get ahead of the curve:

Q: When will SVCoin go live?
A: SVCoin's ICO will happen as soon as Xon is able to work out the remaining kinks in the protocol and publishes the SVCoin whitepaper, which should happen very soon.

Q: How does SVCoin work?
A: Unlike traditional altcoins, SVCoin goes even further in terms of decentralization, by using an alternative PoW method that democratizes the process of mining itself. Each SV user will be given utility tokens that they can freely choose to apply to messages posted on SV, and these tokens will be used to demonstrate Proof of Work in postcrafting.

Q: How can I invest in SVCoin?
A: While SVCoin itself has not yet gone live, the printing of NFTs backed by the SVCoin blockchain is already possible. Simply click on the "Mint NFT" button under any post and you will be able to contribute to the arts.

Q: What is cryptocurrency?
A: Cryptocurrency is "currency" which nobody understands, thus making it "cryptic".

Q: What's a blockchain?
A: For additional security, we have attached our physical ledger to a heavy concrete block, using a steel chain. This makes attempting to steal the ledger very inconvenient.

Q: Why? For the love of all that is holy, why have you done this?
A: Do you think God stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he's created?
 
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I'm free from my hexagonal prison! Let me tell you, getting minted on the blockchain is uncomfortable. 0/10 wouldn't recommend. I'm glad that's over and done with.
 
Wait I got the purple now... it was just subtle enough to make me think it didn't change. Can't believe I got gaslit by a UI. :V
 
ok, so i am indeed still changing. looks green-teal/cyan/insert other word now. i wonder if it will go full circle.
 
April 1, 2022 is a day I will always remember. It was the day I became cynical, bitter, and distraught. You may call it an overreaction for me to feel this way simply because of the business practices of a single internet forum, but let me explain what all of this means to me.

My life was thrown off balance and I never regained my footing after that day, because I lost my ability to respect. An essential part of being human is to feel respect for those who may or may not be deserving of it. But it is equally human to feel painful disillusionment when someone or something you respected turns out to be much less than you thought. But the level of betrayal I felt when Sufficient Velocity announced the release of a SV NFT tore something from me that I'll never be able to recover. They tore away my ability to respect anything, and they tore away my ability to feel human.

Sufficient Velocity was a forum I respected, and their staff were people I looked up to. User Fiction, Quests, Creative Discussion & Worldbuilding, and Fanworks Discussion were all quality subforums that combined in-depth research with creativity. These subforums may have been niche and insular at times, but deep down they were always posted in with a level of care and thought that won appreciation from readers all across the internet. This announcement was to be their newest addition to forum technology, and the internet was in unanimous agreement that it would be of unparalleled quality.

Then SV Coin was announced. This was not just an announcement of NFTs, it was announcement of Sufficient Velocity's self-destruction. It was an undertaking intended to completely disregard any sensible forum governance, and instead shock the entire world with its lunacy. Sufficient Velocity had gone off the deep end and raised the middle finger to everybody who stayed loyal to them. They had announced that they didn't care anymore, that they didn't care for their community, and they were going to go out of their way to sabotage everything they had spent years creating.

The pain I felt from this betrayal has destroyed me on an emotional level, and has deprived me of my primary source of entertainment. No longer can I read quests without remembering the day I ceased mattering to people I devoted myself to. SV had not just destroyed me or their forum, they had destroyed the one force of stability in the world: Trust.

JK, of course. With apologies to the CK2 community from whom I stole the copypasta template for this post.
 
theorion said:
@Datcord I didn't know you were a senator! Any tips on picking up below market value real estate in the DC metro area?
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Lift with the legs.

Sterr said:
Amazing, within moments this activated every bone in my body and all of them are in attack mode.
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This is just anti-skeleton hate speech. :( Bones have never attacked anyone ever that anyone still living can prove.

Also, my only complaint is that the video will be outdated in 18.32 seconds, when @Magery changes avatars yet AGAIN. (Imagine not picking the perfect avatar the first time, smh.)
 
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Hey so I doubt it's physically possible for you guys to see this but something the admins just did borked the website. Now everything is almost completely black. I tried on Windows 10 and on iPhone, but both are so dark I can barely see what I'm writing.

EDIT: And now it's immediately oversaturated instead.
 
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Oh god my eyes.

I dunno if it was purposeful but I think we just entered the goddamn eye strain dimension.
 
Hey how do I change the vision mode to what you guys are seeing? I've kept mine in night mode for like 4 years now and I've forgotten how to change it.

Neat that it's browser dependent.
 
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Patch said:
Hey how do I change the vision mode to what you guys are seeing? I've kept mine in night mode for like 4 years now and I've forgotten how to change it.

Neat that it's browser dependent.
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Doesn't seem like it's browser: I'm getting similar results in both Chrome and firefox. If you don't close the tab and just keep navigating around the site it just slowly becomes, well, that.
 
I saw the words ICO and NFT and I'm instantly hooked. I need to throw my money at this with reckless abandon so I can be the world's first quadrillionaire in a week. Stonks! Need to satisfy my gambling and dopamine need, man. Can I buy in ahead of time so I get to ride the pumping instead of the dumping?
 
Very important test:



Since the forum is currently on eyebleed, I needed to see what happened if you started with an eyebleed image.

EDIT: Aw, no more eyebleed.
 
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