There is a...literal, golden banana guard. It's nice to see that Adventure Time still has a good following, and you began walking towards him with your newfound elf posse. Seras on one side, Lelith on your arm, and Khan to your left. You were walking up like the Joestars in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, a crew of badasses ready to kick ass.
Hey, you know what'd really fuck with Adam? Being (read: acting like) a respectable member of society, while rubbing salt into his wounds about being seen as the God Emperor of Mankind.
Striding up, the Banana Guard gave one look at you before sighing. "Normally, seeing a pale, black haired man stride up with xenos and what looks to be a daemon." Hey, Khan may be big but the guy's got feelings! But ignoring that, you kind of want to see what's changed. "But now, with the Emperor finally speaking, things have started to get weird. Stuff like 'Inter-Dimensional Warp Fuckery', and now this." That's Adam for you, he's probably pissed because he's being worshiped. The world's most stuck up atheist, surprised it took him this long to get that stick out of his ass.
Welp, time to meet good ol' Addy, see if he remembers you from the Vatican Christmas Party.
Good times!
...
Stepping into the large palace, you were nearly blinded from all the gold here. Seras even had to cover her eyes and have Pip lead her, while you were doing okay with your circular red shades. Banana Boy was leading you through the halls, and you're pretty sure that there shouldn't be this many skulls around this place. Floating cyborg skulls, skulls on walls, and weird pasty, cyborgs walking around with their eyes sunken deep into them.
Yeesh, and you thought that the Catholics had unhealthy obsession. But it can't be all bad, you're pretty sure there's a perfectly rational reason that there's skulls everywhere.
"There's a lot more skulls and icons than last time I was here..." Khan noted, stroking his beard while deep in thought. Seras in the mean time was still covering her eyes, shouting how she can't see anything. On the plus side though, your knife eared friends seem to have adjusted to the glow. But there was something brighter coming, and was that JoJo music you're hearing?
Who the hell are those guys behind Banana- OH DEAR GOD YOUR EYES, WHAT IN THE NINE CIRCLES OF HELL ARE THEY?! The glow produced off of their muscled bodies is near blinding, and it was starting to burn your retinas.
"Ah if it isn't little Kitten leading a tour, have fun dealing with them while WE visit his Holiness!" Why in the Nine Circles of Hell does Adam have Male Strippers? You knew he was getting lonely but god damn. Maybe ditch them the moment you can, because they're starting to blind you. Just as you were about to ask them to fuck off, Seras was bumping into a pillar.
"Why is everything dark, and is anyone there?" She was walking about, looking for anything until she knocked herself in the face with a statue's outstretched hand.
"Well, we best be on our way if we want to bask in the MAGNIFICENT LIGHT of our lord." Another one of the Pillar Men stated, before disappearing with the two other freaks. Meanwhile, Seras was still walking around blindly. So this was going to be a fun trip, and maybe you should get someone to help SEras before she breaks something important.
"Well that was...Something." Jaghatai mentioned, a bit disturbed and somewhat confused by what happened. "Did our Father's companions lose their senses? If so, then I pity them for falling to the temptations of Slaanesh." Oh god, not those assholes again. The Chaos Freaks that Adam mentioned, the weird ones that were freaking insane.
You looked like a well adjusted member of society compared to them! But time to move on from that, you've got a date with Adam Nathema. Still hope he's in one piece, though judging by Jaggy's reaction and the strippers, things might have gone worse than expected.
...
"And this is the throne room," Banana Kitten introduced, showing you the large, almost tomb like room with a skeleton sitting at the center. Just as you were about to speak, the skeleton spoke.
"OH DEAR, YOU'RE BACK."
Taking a slight bow, you decided that acting like a respectable (shudder) member of society. "Old Friend! I, Prince Vlad Tapes of Wallachia, Known as Count Dracula have returned! What is your will Oh Mighty God Emperor?" You added the accent from Drac, making it look like you had gone made in the time between your meetings. "And I have brought one of your sons, Jaghatai Khan." There was a moment of silence, and Adam finally replied after what felt like eons waiting.
"WHILE I AM OVERJOYED THAT MY LITTLE KHAN HAS RETURNED, WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU ALUCARD? YOU USED TO BE SO...WHAT'S THE WORD? OH I KNOW, BATSHIT, UNREASONABLY, FUCKASS CRAZY."
While trying to hide your snicker, it didn't work and your burst our laughing. "Did you really think I'd turn out to be one of those squares Old Addy? No, I'm still me." Adam let out a long, Microsoft Sam sounding 'No' at that, before saying 'Sigh'. "Now what's happened in the past few years, and where's Integra? I've got unfinished business with her."
"OH FUUUUUCK..." Adam began, sounding nervous despite the mechanical tone. "ALUCARD, INTEGRA HAS BEEN DEAD FOR OVER...THIRTY EIGHT THOUSAND YEARS." That...That can't be right, Integra's too stubborn to die. "UPON HER DEATH OF OLD AGE, I HONORED HER WISHES, AND ENTOMBED HER WITHIN THE HELLSING ESTATE GROUNDS, MY FINAL GOODBYE TO AN OLD FRIEND." He's lying...This is all some sort of elaborate prank right? "SHE GAVE ME EXPLICIT INSTRUCTIONS TO TAKE HER BLOOD, AND KEEP BOTH YOU AND SERAS SEALED, ALONG WITH THE FACT I NEEDED TO CREATE MORE IN ORDER TO KEEP THE HELLSING LINEAGE ALIVE."
"You're pulling a prank on me, this can't be true. Integra's probably hiding behind you, cake in her hand, ready to surprise me." You didn't like the sinking feeling in your stomach, something was deeply wrong here.
"ALUCARD, DESPITE OUR DIFFERENCES OVER THE YEARS. I WOULD NEVER LIE TO YOU ABOUT THIS, EVEN TO HURT YOU." Adam gave his condolences, before continuing his little speech. "IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER, HER DESCENDANTS ARE STILL AROUND IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO PAY A VISIT." Well...Is it really true?
...
[] What should you do?
-[] Go for a Walk, you need to let off some steam.
-[] Visit Integra's Grave
-[] Visit Integra's Descendants
[] Write In...
