NSMS
Probably evil, unfortunately.
- Location
- A rapidly widening tear in the fabric of reality
A Skirt's Not So Bad [Harry Potter]
- Thread starter Tekomandor
- Start date
While I do hope Holly does get inundated with people asking her; me thinks this might be that point where the line gets drawn between those whose response to Holly coming out and transitioning is "she's a girl, cool/ok I guess" and "she's a Girl" if that makes any sense?
I mean there is Ginny as the fallback, or even Ron and/or Hermione as the platonic backup plan (we've all been there) but it may be even more awkward
I mean there is Ginny as the fallback, or even Ron and/or Hermione as the platonic backup plan (we've all been there) but it may be even more awkward
Voldemort: I need a drink
- Pronouns
- She/Her
To be fair, it's already been spread all over the papers that she bats for both teams, probably no good reason to not just ask a girl to be less bothered with all of that nonsense.
One thing that I've noticed over the course of this fic is that the transphobia so far has been very white and black, either it's juvenile bullying or people are perfectly supportive. Nothing like the kind of concern trolling, etc etc. you see in the real world, where people try to mask their transphobia as something reasonable and/or are just genuinely uncomfortable with the idea of trans people because of the ideas they were raised with.
Of course, this story doesn't have to perfectly emulate real life transphobia, frankly I get enough of that in my real life, but it has been something that's teased at the back of my brain for a while and here would be a perfect place to bring some shades of grey in.
In fact, I can honestly see that happening with Cedric now that I think about it, especially with Amos Diggory's accidental (I presume?) misgendering of Holly prior to the World Cup finals. Amos comes off as fairly conservative while Cedric comes off as an accepting sort, but I could certainly see him internalizing some things that could be hurtful to Holly without even meaning to, especially if she wants him to take her to the Yule Ball.
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As I said earlier, the "Wizarding world" appears to be very ignorant on the entire subject. Among other things, I expect that means they generally haven't gone through the process of coming up with "reasonable" sounding excuses for transphobia. Before somebody tries to mask bigotry as something more reasonable, they first have to come to the realization that it's something they should mask.
I expect that the great majorty of wizards aren't thinking in terms of transgenderism at all. They seem ignorant enough of the concept that most of them probably think of it as a personal, unique "Potter issue".
- Location
- France
- Pronouns
- She/They
But then you have the other awkward factor of "I like her but I think she's straight". Girls asking other girls out is not as straightforward as it sounds!
NSMS
Probably evil, unfortunately.
- Location
- A rapidly widening tear in the fabric of reality
Honestly, what surprises me is that nobody's done stuff like like call her him or Harry, not out of maliciousness or ignorance, but purely out of habit and reflex. It's past the point where that could really happen now, but early on I would have expected it at least once or twice.
ExNihilo
SPACE!
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I mean, I think Amos Diggory did, in the Portkey bit. So the point is not so far behind.
Dopplerdee
Accident Prone(Yes the caps are necessary)
- Location
- Happy Place
- Pronouns
- She/Her
And if nothing else it looks very bad that Krum only managed a tie with a 14 year old because of blatent favoritism.
Honestly worse than losing.
And if score factors into the final event like canon then the win is forever tainted.
JennyDracos
Eccentric Hugging Lady
- Location
- Chicago
On the bright side, after the Veela demonstration Ginny and Holly both know they both find women attractive.
- Location
- France
- Pronouns
- She/They
McG: you can ask younger students, hint hint.
Kaernetron
Feuergeist
- Location
- Weit, Weit dort Oben
Yup, reflex is a thing. Even if you talk to the person daily, you still have to watch the words trying to pass your tongue like a hawk for a few weeks.
Source: I blinked once.
- Location
- Academy City
- Pronouns
- They
There doesn't need to be such a rule in place. The relevant factor is relevant points, not absolute points, after all. He can get away with a little unfair judging, but if he gives, say, Fleur, Holly, and Cedric 5 less points then they deserve, then any of the other 4 judges could just give Krum 5 less and it evens out their relative placing. Potentially worse, since more than one of them can do so. It's not going to be the default option because all of them either ant to judge fairly or give the impression of judging fairly, but he has exactly as much room to fuck around as his other judges let him have.
He also gives his scores last, so he's most able to fuck with the scores.
- Location
- I am located here.
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
Luckily, words are not quite as dangerous as Weeping Angels, or else you'd have to watch them forever.
Also, are your words hawk-like, is your tongue hawk-like, or are the words doing some sort of hawk-like maneuver past your tongue, or ... ?
Yeah; to be honest I felt sorry for Krum, he's getting publicly screwed over by the guy.
If you think I asked for a sex scene, then I have certainly not. Yes, she is fourteen, and I haven't forgotten that.
And although I fully agree that nothing irreversible should be done in The Real World™ before their age of consent (at least), because all teenagers have a mush instead of a brain especially with regards to their sexuality, I could believe it should be different in the magical world, if there is reliable diagnosis that a person actually is living with wrong gender, and if full change is possible.
Epsilon Rose
The King of Unrest
Thinking about the reaction to Holly's transition in the magical world, I can't help but wonder if a large part of the difference is it legitimately isn't an issue in the Wizarding world. A few things to consider:
If that's true, the I'd also attribute Holly getting flack to two factors: First, her transition was very public, while most others would be handled quietly and without anyone realizing they had happened, which makes her more unusual and "worthy" of comment, especially when you factor in her preexisting fame. Second, and more importantly, she's Holly Potter and there's a large group of people looking for any reason to put her down, even if it's dumb and they wouldn't normally care. (Also, most of the people doing it were pure blood supremacists and they've never found an odious idea they don't like.)
Hmm. Now I'm wondering if gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, or similar conditions are one of the factors that can cause someone to become a Metamorphmagus. Given what we've seen of accidental magic "Since you dislike your body so much, fix it until you do." sounds like the sort of thing it would cause.
- People transforming themselves, in fairly substantial ways, is more or less a common occurrence for wizards. Off the top of my head, you have animagus, who can turn themselves into animals; Metamorphmagus, who can freely shapeshift to some unspecified degree; and polyjuice potions, that can let you look like anyone else. That doesn't even get into the possibility of more tailored spells and potions, that let you pick your form, or illusions and glamors that cause more superficial changes. Someone merely changing their gender isn't that large of a change compared to any of those.
- Accidental magic is a known phenomenon with unclear limitations. It's perfectly possible that a young child experiencing gender dysphoria might just accidental magic themselves into the correct body without even thinking about it.
- The population is relatively tiny, meaning there are correspondingly fewer trans wizards.
- The Wizarding world seems very insular and prone to hiding things, even from each other.
If that's true, the I'd also attribute Holly getting flack to two factors: First, her transition was very public, while most others would be handled quietly and without anyone realizing they had happened, which makes her more unusual and "worthy" of comment, especially when you factor in her preexisting fame. Second, and more importantly, she's Holly Potter and there's a large group of people looking for any reason to put her down, even if it's dumb and they wouldn't normally care. (Also, most of the people doing it were pure blood supremacists and they've never found an odious idea they don't like.)
Hmm. Now I'm wondering if gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, or similar conditions are one of the factors that can cause someone to become a Metamorphmagus. Given what we've seen of accidental magic "Since you dislike your body so much, fix it until you do." sounds like the sort of thing it would cause.
- Location
- Here
Plausible, but there's also people for whom dysphoria is more mild and/or not immediately mentally connected to gender until later in life (when something else gets them considering it). Before that, you've just got someone who felt generally bleh all their life, gets rolled in with chronic depression or anxiety or general self-loathing, or who thinks "sure, I'd rather be a girl, doesn't everyone?"
If you don't have the idea that being trans is a thing, you might not think of "change my body" as a solution. Actually, that's basically the situation Holly was in, according to this story - dysphoria just blurred into all the other unpleasantness, and she didn't realize gender was part of the problem until it went away.
If you don't have the idea that being trans is a thing, you might not think of "change my body" as a solution. Actually, that's basically the situation Holly was in, according to this story - dysphoria just blurred into all the other unpleasantness, and she didn't realize gender was part of the problem until it went away.
JennyDracos
Eccentric Hugging Lady
- Location
- Chicago
Heck, you could make the argument that she still didn't - not until it came back.
- Location
- Here
Fair. Point being - the wizards who have it worst are more likely to get their transition resolved quickly and without much fuss, which reduces overall cultural awareness, which reduces the chance that people who aren't quite as distressed think of that particular solution to the problem.
Year Four, Chapter Twenty One
- Location
- Australia
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Year Four, Chapter Twenty One
Holly heard whispers and giggles all around her, and as McGonagall talked she could feel almost all the eyes in the transfiguration classroom turn to her. Holly just stared straight ahead and tried not to take any notice of them, because if she did that would open the floodgates and she'd never get out of the classroom without being mobbed.
"Miss Potter? Stay behind, please," McGonagall said, and Holly gulped. She was sure she wasn't going to like whatever McGonagall wanted to talk to her about. After everyone else had left, Holly joined her transfiguration professor up in the front of the classroom.
"What did you want to talk about, Professor?" Holly asked.
"Just to inform you that the champions and their partners traditionally open the ball. I imagine you can't dance?" McGonagall asked.
"Definitely not at a ball," Holly said.
"Well, it's really not especially hard - there will be lessons available. I would strongly suggest that you attend so that you do not embarrass the school by stepping on some poor boy's feet," McGonagall said, and Holly nodded.
"Do - do I have to take a boy?" she asked, nervously.
"There are no rules against taking a girl, but... Potter, listen to me carefully. Whoever you take might find themselves put into a spotlight they are not ready for, and that would go doubly for any girl you happened to take," McGonagall said, carefully.
"I - I understand, Professor," Holly said, and she hurried off to get to her next class. All throughout the day the idea of who to take ate at her, not to mention that she was already fending off proposals from older boys, most of whom seemed to have been put up to it on a dare.
She saw quite a few snickering mates throughout the day, at any rate. Holly was used to hearing the things they giggled about, and although it was embarrassing and hurtful her past experiences let her get through it with only minor emotional injury.
"Hey, Potter!" Cormac MacLaggen shouted from across the corridor.
"What do you want, Cormac?" Holly asked, and she fought not to roll her eyes as she saw Cormac's buddies inexpertly hiding in a classroom across the hallway.
"Just wanted to know if you'd got a date to the Yule Ball yet, you know? I've heard you're pretty popular with the lads this year," Cormac said.
"I don't have one yet, no," Holly said, blushing. She could stand up to a roaring dragon, but talking about something like this with a handsome older boy, even one she disliked, was embarrassing.
"Just my luck then, eh? I know a lot of guys are asking you on a dare, but I reckon you'd look pretty good in dress robes. What do you reckon?" Cormac said, and Holly felt her hand twitch.
"No thanks," she said, not looking at Cormac.
"Come on - you're not gonna get a better offer - what, do you think Cedric Diggory's gonna date a scrawny little -" Cormac began, but whatever he was going to call her was interrupted by Holly.
"I said no, Cormac. Why you'd think I'd ever say yes is beyond me, but perhaps you haven't got the memo. I think you're an obnoxious ass, and never in a million years would I go to the Yule Ball with you," Holly said.
"Fine, enjoy being alone or going with some fat-ass like Longbottom," Cormac said, turning away from her.
"Don't talk about Neville like that," Holly said, and Cormac laughed. She drew her wand and hexed him, causing pimples to break out all across his face. Even his poorly concealed friends laughed at that, and Cormac rushed away from her.
Holly stormed off, angry. She wanted to transform and go flying, but the school was too crowded for her to get away with that. So instead she walked out onto the bridge to brood, savouring the feel of the cold wind against her face.
She had no idea who to ask to the Yule Ball, and that was even if they'd accept her. She thought she might be able to handle rejection, but if they said no because she was trans...
Holly sat down against the wooden sides of the bridge and wondered. Who could she ask to go with her to the Yule Ball? She felt like she could admit she thought Cho Chang was very pretty but did she even have any interest in girls? Holly had heard rumours about that, of course, but that was just a stereotype any girl who played quidditch had to deal with. Then there was Cedric Diggory, who she knew liked girls, but he was several years above her - would he even be interested?
Would he, she wondered, think of her as a girl when it came to something like this? He hadn't said anything about doubting her, and he'd seemed embarrassed by his dad, but Holly knew there was a world of difference between accepting her as a friend who happened to be a girl and as a girlfriend.
Beyond that, how could she get him to ask her? Surely he'd ask someone like Fleur, or another older girl, not someone like her. How could she compare to the part-Veela girl?
"Screw it. I'll just have to ask him myself," Holly said to herself, standing up. Maybe he'd say no, and it would be awful, but at the end of the day, it would only be social mortification. She'd experienced that before, and she could do it again.
She knew that tradition dictated that boys were supposed to ask girls to this sort of thing, but when had she ever bothered with respecting tradition? She didn't care if some stuffy witch writing in to Witch Weekly would disapprove - someone would probably disapprove whatever she did.
So Holly gathered up all her courage and went to find Cedric. After retrieving the map from her room, it was easy enough to track him down to the owlery, and Holly was lucky enough to catch him alone there. All she had to do was go up and talk to him. A simple, easy task.
Naturally, she found it incredibly difficult. What should she say, she wondered? She was so absorbed in trying to think up some perfect opening line that she actually managed to arrive at the Owlery without noticing.
"Holly?" Cedric asked and she looked up in surprise. There he was, as handsome as ever, tying a letter to the leg of an owl.
"O-oh, hey there, Cedric," Holly said, blushing. Why had she just blundered in, thought?
"You here to send a letter too? Just writing to my dad - you saw how he was at the tournament," Cedric said, waving his arm in an embarrassed-yet-fond sort of way that Holly had only understood after she started living with Sirius and Remus.
"No, um, I was actually - I was actually looking for you," she said, the words coming out in a great big tumble.
"Is it about the tournament? Listen, I've found-" Cedric began, but Holly cut him off in her nervousness.
"No, not like that. I - I... I just wanted to ask you to go to the Yule Ball with me," Holly said, and she felt her cheeks turn crimson. This was mortifying and he hadn't even answered yet.
Then Holly saw Cedric's expression, and it was like she stepped through a vanishing stair. He didn't look happy, or interested, or even bemused. He looked sad and awkward. Even, some small part of her whispered, uncomfortable. He's going to tell you he couldn't dance with a boy, the part of her that had never really left Privet Drive whispered. He's going to tell you that you're not good enough, that you're an ugly little stick with nothing to speak of.
"I can't. I'm - I'm really sorry, you know? It's not about you being... what was the word? Trans? It's not about that. You're a good looking girl, and whoever you go with will be lucky as all hell. But I'm dating someone already - before the Ball was even announced," Cedric said, and Holly felt a conflicting whirlwind of emotions. Relief, that he hadn't said something awful. Pain, because he'd been so nice and charming in letting her down gently - so that she liked him even more as he was saying no. Sheer, wild, absurd humour, because she'd worked herself up so much for something she'd never had a chance at in the first place.
"Oh," was all Holly said, quietly.
"Can you keep a secret?" Cedric asked, and Holly nodded mutely. "Cho and I are dating - you know how it is with the Quidditch rivalries in this school. Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw aren't exactly Gryffindor and Slytherin, but..." Cedric said, and Holly laughed. Of course he was dating the other person she'd wanted to ask. The whole thing felt like some mean joke the universe had played on her, and she couldn't help but laugh wildly.
"I'm sorry, Cedric - that wasn't about you. The other person, um, that I was considering asking was Cho," Holly said. He laughed too then, a little ruefully.
"Well, I can see you've got good taste. But you know, I'm sure you'll find someone you like. I - I guess I'm not too good at this," Cedric said, awkwardly.
"It's - it's okay. I, um, I guess I'll go now?" Holly said, and she turned to leave.
"Wait, Holly," Cedric said, and for one moment a surge of stupid, impossible hope surged through her. She stopped and turned back to face him. "Abot the tournament... I didn't really say thank you for warning me about the dragons. Have you opened your egg yet?" Cedric asked. Holly blinked.
"Um, no, I haven't," Holly said. She'd been so busy that it had slipped her mind.
"Right, so be careful when you do... it makes a fucking awful noise. But it's not so bad if you take it with you when you have a bath. Just put the egg in the water with you and... mull things over. You can use the prefect's bathroom if you want - fourth door to the left of that statue of Boris the Bewildered on the fifth floor. Password's 'pine fresh'," Cedric said, and Holly nodded slowly.
"Um, thanks I guess?" Holly said, and before she could feel any worse she dashed out of the owlery.
Even flying over the grounds transformed into a raven did nothing to soothe her upset feelings, and Holly soon returned to her dorm to sulk. It was patently, bizarrely unfair that Cho and Cedric were dating each other. It was just - it was awful and not fair at all. She sat on her bed with the curtains drawn closed and dried her tears.
Who else could she go with? She didn't like anyone else, and she didn't want to go with some random boy. Especially not the type who'd been pushed into asking her by his laughing mates. Maybe going with one of her housemates would be okay - they were at least likely to be interested in her beyond her fame.
Her bad mood persisted until the weekend, and she went down to the Quidditch match only because Ginny would be duelling beforehand. Maybe she could boo Hufflepuff, she thought.
Holly hadn't talked to her friends about what had happened, but she knew they'd noticed her sudden change in mood. She hadn't talked to anyone about it, not wanting to betray Cedric's confidence or to embarrass herself further.
The Third Year duelling competition was substantially more exciting than the previous two, though, and Holly found herself enjoying it despite herself. People could finally actually defend themselves, and there was plenty of decent 'fencing' with disarming charms, minor hexes, and basic deflections. People moved more, and nobody was very good at hitting people despite the short-range.
Holly knew from experience that accuracy when nobody was shooting spells at you was very different from when it actually counted. One kid from Durmstrang managed to bind his opponent in writhing coils of rope he transfigured, and the Second Year winner won a bout before being disarmed.
Then Ginny had her first duel, and Holly cheered just as loudly as Ron when Ginny managed to stun her opponent in one clean shot. She'd simply stood still and let the minor hex he cast sail right past her before she jabbed her wand at him and knocked him clean out.
Ginny ended up going all the way to the final duel using an impressive combination of hex deflections, all the hexes and jinxes she'd picked up living in the Burrow for thirteen years, and her excellent stunning charm.
She faced a boy from Durmstrang in the final, and they both had clearly mastered the stunning charm from their previous bouts. Holly thought that it might come down to speed, with both being able to cast a spell they wouldn't be able to block with simple hex deflection, but she was amazed when Ginny bounced the boy's stunner right off her shield charm.
Holly was even more amazed when the boy shielded himself from his own deflected stunning spell. Ginny and the boy fought one another fiercely, both casting much faster than the other third years. Stunning spells, disarming charms, and all manner of hexes flew between them.
In the end, Ginny was simply faster on her feet and on the cast than the boy. She drove him backwards, spell by spell until she sent him flying backwards with an especially powerful stunner.
Professor Flitwick, who was co-ordinating the duelling, quickly had the boy back up on his feet. He didn't seem too upset about losing to Ginny, and the two of them shook hands amicably as all the Hogwarts students cheered.
Holly even enjoyed watching the Quidditch match, and she managed to restrain herself from booing Hufflepuff. That probably would have been both uncalled for and a dumb move in the current climate. Cedric caught the snitch in a daring dive, and Holly clapped. But only a little.
As Holly and her friends were walking back to the castle, she talked to Ginny about her duels.
"That was really well fought, Ginny," Holly said. It had been a great performance, especially for a third year. She'd used OWL level magic, and more than a little cunning, to pull out Hogwart's first victory in the duelling.
"Th-thanks, Holly," Ginny said, blushing, and suddenly Holly felt very stupid. There was a very pretty girl at Hogwarts who she knew liked girls, and who really knew her. Who made her feel safe, in a way very few people did. Who could understand why sometimes her hands shook and why she so often woke from nightmares.
"Can I talk to you?" Holly asked Ginny as they neared the castle. Ron and Hermione were busy having one of their fun arguments and were completely involved in it.
"Sure," Ginny said, sounding a little puzzled. Holly looked around to make sure they were alone, and then she gathered up all the courage she could find - then she found a little extra under a pillow.
"Would you, um, would you like to go to the Yule Ball with me?" she asked and hoped that she really wasn't going to have to do this a third time.
Holly heard whispers and giggles all around her, and as McGonagall talked she could feel almost all the eyes in the transfiguration classroom turn to her. Holly just stared straight ahead and tried not to take any notice of them, because if she did that would open the floodgates and she'd never get out of the classroom without being mobbed.
"Miss Potter? Stay behind, please," McGonagall said, and Holly gulped. She was sure she wasn't going to like whatever McGonagall wanted to talk to her about. After everyone else had left, Holly joined her transfiguration professor up in the front of the classroom.
"What did you want to talk about, Professor?" Holly asked.
"Just to inform you that the champions and their partners traditionally open the ball. I imagine you can't dance?" McGonagall asked.
"Definitely not at a ball," Holly said.
"Well, it's really not especially hard - there will be lessons available. I would strongly suggest that you attend so that you do not embarrass the school by stepping on some poor boy's feet," McGonagall said, and Holly nodded.
"Do - do I have to take a boy?" she asked, nervously.
"There are no rules against taking a girl, but... Potter, listen to me carefully. Whoever you take might find themselves put into a spotlight they are not ready for, and that would go doubly for any girl you happened to take," McGonagall said, carefully.
"I - I understand, Professor," Holly said, and she hurried off to get to her next class. All throughout the day the idea of who to take ate at her, not to mention that she was already fending off proposals from older boys, most of whom seemed to have been put up to it on a dare.
She saw quite a few snickering mates throughout the day, at any rate. Holly was used to hearing the things they giggled about, and although it was embarrassing and hurtful her past experiences let her get through it with only minor emotional injury.
"Hey, Potter!" Cormac MacLaggen shouted from across the corridor.
"What do you want, Cormac?" Holly asked, and she fought not to roll her eyes as she saw Cormac's buddies inexpertly hiding in a classroom across the hallway.
"Just wanted to know if you'd got a date to the Yule Ball yet, you know? I've heard you're pretty popular with the lads this year," Cormac said.
"I don't have one yet, no," Holly said, blushing. She could stand up to a roaring dragon, but talking about something like this with a handsome older boy, even one she disliked, was embarrassing.
"Just my luck then, eh? I know a lot of guys are asking you on a dare, but I reckon you'd look pretty good in dress robes. What do you reckon?" Cormac said, and Holly felt her hand twitch.
"No thanks," she said, not looking at Cormac.
"Come on - you're not gonna get a better offer - what, do you think Cedric Diggory's gonna date a scrawny little -" Cormac began, but whatever he was going to call her was interrupted by Holly.
"I said no, Cormac. Why you'd think I'd ever say yes is beyond me, but perhaps you haven't got the memo. I think you're an obnoxious ass, and never in a million years would I go to the Yule Ball with you," Holly said.
"Fine, enjoy being alone or going with some fat-ass like Longbottom," Cormac said, turning away from her.
"Don't talk about Neville like that," Holly said, and Cormac laughed. She drew her wand and hexed him, causing pimples to break out all across his face. Even his poorly concealed friends laughed at that, and Cormac rushed away from her.
Holly stormed off, angry. She wanted to transform and go flying, but the school was too crowded for her to get away with that. So instead she walked out onto the bridge to brood, savouring the feel of the cold wind against her face.
She had no idea who to ask to the Yule Ball, and that was even if they'd accept her. She thought she might be able to handle rejection, but if they said no because she was trans...
Holly sat down against the wooden sides of the bridge and wondered. Who could she ask to go with her to the Yule Ball? She felt like she could admit she thought Cho Chang was very pretty but did she even have any interest in girls? Holly had heard rumours about that, of course, but that was just a stereotype any girl who played quidditch had to deal with. Then there was Cedric Diggory, who she knew liked girls, but he was several years above her - would he even be interested?
Would he, she wondered, think of her as a girl when it came to something like this? He hadn't said anything about doubting her, and he'd seemed embarrassed by his dad, but Holly knew there was a world of difference between accepting her as a friend who happened to be a girl and as a girlfriend.
Beyond that, how could she get him to ask her? Surely he'd ask someone like Fleur, or another older girl, not someone like her. How could she compare to the part-Veela girl?
"Screw it. I'll just have to ask him myself," Holly said to herself, standing up. Maybe he'd say no, and it would be awful, but at the end of the day, it would only be social mortification. She'd experienced that before, and she could do it again.
She knew that tradition dictated that boys were supposed to ask girls to this sort of thing, but when had she ever bothered with respecting tradition? She didn't care if some stuffy witch writing in to Witch Weekly would disapprove - someone would probably disapprove whatever she did.
So Holly gathered up all her courage and went to find Cedric. After retrieving the map from her room, it was easy enough to track him down to the owlery, and Holly was lucky enough to catch him alone there. All she had to do was go up and talk to him. A simple, easy task.
Naturally, she found it incredibly difficult. What should she say, she wondered? She was so absorbed in trying to think up some perfect opening line that she actually managed to arrive at the Owlery without noticing.
"Holly?" Cedric asked and she looked up in surprise. There he was, as handsome as ever, tying a letter to the leg of an owl.
"O-oh, hey there, Cedric," Holly said, blushing. Why had she just blundered in, thought?
"You here to send a letter too? Just writing to my dad - you saw how he was at the tournament," Cedric said, waving his arm in an embarrassed-yet-fond sort of way that Holly had only understood after she started living with Sirius and Remus.
"No, um, I was actually - I was actually looking for you," she said, the words coming out in a great big tumble.
"Is it about the tournament? Listen, I've found-" Cedric began, but Holly cut him off in her nervousness.
"No, not like that. I - I... I just wanted to ask you to go to the Yule Ball with me," Holly said, and she felt her cheeks turn crimson. This was mortifying and he hadn't even answered yet.
Then Holly saw Cedric's expression, and it was like she stepped through a vanishing stair. He didn't look happy, or interested, or even bemused. He looked sad and awkward. Even, some small part of her whispered, uncomfortable. He's going to tell you he couldn't dance with a boy, the part of her that had never really left Privet Drive whispered. He's going to tell you that you're not good enough, that you're an ugly little stick with nothing to speak of.
"I can't. I'm - I'm really sorry, you know? It's not about you being... what was the word? Trans? It's not about that. You're a good looking girl, and whoever you go with will be lucky as all hell. But I'm dating someone already - before the Ball was even announced," Cedric said, and Holly felt a conflicting whirlwind of emotions. Relief, that he hadn't said something awful. Pain, because he'd been so nice and charming in letting her down gently - so that she liked him even more as he was saying no. Sheer, wild, absurd humour, because she'd worked herself up so much for something she'd never had a chance at in the first place.
"Oh," was all Holly said, quietly.
"Can you keep a secret?" Cedric asked, and Holly nodded mutely. "Cho and I are dating - you know how it is with the Quidditch rivalries in this school. Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw aren't exactly Gryffindor and Slytherin, but..." Cedric said, and Holly laughed. Of course he was dating the other person she'd wanted to ask. The whole thing felt like some mean joke the universe had played on her, and she couldn't help but laugh wildly.
"I'm sorry, Cedric - that wasn't about you. The other person, um, that I was considering asking was Cho," Holly said. He laughed too then, a little ruefully.
"Well, I can see you've got good taste. But you know, I'm sure you'll find someone you like. I - I guess I'm not too good at this," Cedric said, awkwardly.
"It's - it's okay. I, um, I guess I'll go now?" Holly said, and she turned to leave.
"Wait, Holly," Cedric said, and for one moment a surge of stupid, impossible hope surged through her. She stopped and turned back to face him. "Abot the tournament... I didn't really say thank you for warning me about the dragons. Have you opened your egg yet?" Cedric asked. Holly blinked.
"Um, no, I haven't," Holly said. She'd been so busy that it had slipped her mind.
"Right, so be careful when you do... it makes a fucking awful noise. But it's not so bad if you take it with you when you have a bath. Just put the egg in the water with you and... mull things over. You can use the prefect's bathroom if you want - fourth door to the left of that statue of Boris the Bewildered on the fifth floor. Password's 'pine fresh'," Cedric said, and Holly nodded slowly.
"Um, thanks I guess?" Holly said, and before she could feel any worse she dashed out of the owlery.
Even flying over the grounds transformed into a raven did nothing to soothe her upset feelings, and Holly soon returned to her dorm to sulk. It was patently, bizarrely unfair that Cho and Cedric were dating each other. It was just - it was awful and not fair at all. She sat on her bed with the curtains drawn closed and dried her tears.
Who else could she go with? She didn't like anyone else, and she didn't want to go with some random boy. Especially not the type who'd been pushed into asking her by his laughing mates. Maybe going with one of her housemates would be okay - they were at least likely to be interested in her beyond her fame.
Her bad mood persisted until the weekend, and she went down to the Quidditch match only because Ginny would be duelling beforehand. Maybe she could boo Hufflepuff, she thought.
Holly hadn't talked to her friends about what had happened, but she knew they'd noticed her sudden change in mood. She hadn't talked to anyone about it, not wanting to betray Cedric's confidence or to embarrass herself further.
The Third Year duelling competition was substantially more exciting than the previous two, though, and Holly found herself enjoying it despite herself. People could finally actually defend themselves, and there was plenty of decent 'fencing' with disarming charms, minor hexes, and basic deflections. People moved more, and nobody was very good at hitting people despite the short-range.
Holly knew from experience that accuracy when nobody was shooting spells at you was very different from when it actually counted. One kid from Durmstrang managed to bind his opponent in writhing coils of rope he transfigured, and the Second Year winner won a bout before being disarmed.
Then Ginny had her first duel, and Holly cheered just as loudly as Ron when Ginny managed to stun her opponent in one clean shot. She'd simply stood still and let the minor hex he cast sail right past her before she jabbed her wand at him and knocked him clean out.
Ginny ended up going all the way to the final duel using an impressive combination of hex deflections, all the hexes and jinxes she'd picked up living in the Burrow for thirteen years, and her excellent stunning charm.
She faced a boy from Durmstrang in the final, and they both had clearly mastered the stunning charm from their previous bouts. Holly thought that it might come down to speed, with both being able to cast a spell they wouldn't be able to block with simple hex deflection, but she was amazed when Ginny bounced the boy's stunner right off her shield charm.
Holly was even more amazed when the boy shielded himself from his own deflected stunning spell. Ginny and the boy fought one another fiercely, both casting much faster than the other third years. Stunning spells, disarming charms, and all manner of hexes flew between them.
In the end, Ginny was simply faster on her feet and on the cast than the boy. She drove him backwards, spell by spell until she sent him flying backwards with an especially powerful stunner.
Professor Flitwick, who was co-ordinating the duelling, quickly had the boy back up on his feet. He didn't seem too upset about losing to Ginny, and the two of them shook hands amicably as all the Hogwarts students cheered.
Holly even enjoyed watching the Quidditch match, and she managed to restrain herself from booing Hufflepuff. That probably would have been both uncalled for and a dumb move in the current climate. Cedric caught the snitch in a daring dive, and Holly clapped. But only a little.
As Holly and her friends were walking back to the castle, she talked to Ginny about her duels.
"That was really well fought, Ginny," Holly said. It had been a great performance, especially for a third year. She'd used OWL level magic, and more than a little cunning, to pull out Hogwart's first victory in the duelling.
"Th-thanks, Holly," Ginny said, blushing, and suddenly Holly felt very stupid. There was a very pretty girl at Hogwarts who she knew liked girls, and who really knew her. Who made her feel safe, in a way very few people did. Who could understand why sometimes her hands shook and why she so often woke from nightmares.
"Can I talk to you?" Holly asked Ginny as they neared the castle. Ron and Hermione were busy having one of their fun arguments and were completely involved in it.
"Sure," Ginny said, sounding a little puzzled. Holly looked around to make sure they were alone, and then she gathered up all the courage she could find - then she found a little extra under a pillow.
"Would you, um, would you like to go to the Yule Ball with me?" she asked and hoped that she really wasn't going to have to do this a third time.
*canon ships intensify*