Crossover Omake: Everybody Loves The Adversary
Queen Fiona
Am I good enough for your heaven?
- Location
- The Throne of Want
- Pronouns
- She/Her
"Hey. Himeko."
You look up from your radio, brushing back some of your raven-covered locks as you gaze over at your friend Priscilla, sitting up on the counter and kicking her feet around. She's only been here a few weeks, but she's already more than made herself at home.
"You shouldn't sit up there," you say. "What if someone comes in looking for the Coordinator? You have to think about first impressions."
"I like it up here, though," she says, and…she leans forward, her silky platinum blonde hair, her deep cerulean eyes, staring so intently at you, like she has since she'd recovered from her injuries…
You found Priscilla at a nearby metro station, where you were helping Rose - the local Coordinator, who helps the community of the Order - and your other friends distribute pamphlets telling the story of the Goddess, and what she did for the world…and what the Order could do, for women who are suffering, who need a helping hand.
When you found her, stumbling into the metro, in twilight, when most of the City had already gone to rest, Priscilla was seriously injured, covered in blood…
(but not all of it was hers.)
You nursed her to health, alongside Rose. She said nothing of what she was, but…you could not refuse her, knowing that she was in need, and wished to run away from the surface and her old life, whatever it may be. And since then, she's been staying here, in Rose's office; just as the First Coordinator did so long ago, Rose cares for girls in need, and she's offered Priscilla shelter. It does make things a bit crowded, but…
(Well, you don't really mind when Priscilla crawls into bed next to you, but it's awkward, you know? First Nora, then Kuro, now her…)
She's not been able to find a space for herself in the community yet, because - distressingly - her main skills in life appear to be appearing respectable in high society…and murder. She's already protected your life before now, but you really wish she can have a peaceful life…once she figures out what she can do to help out, at least.
It's just as well, though. You're able to support the lives of Nora, Kuro, and Priscilla with your talents with technology. It's just, it is crowded here, which is just supposed to be an office for one…
"Tell me a story about the Adversary," she asks. Not the first time, nor do you expect it to be the last.
"Why do you always ask that?" And it's not the first time you've asked Priscilla that, either.
"Because…" Priscilla looks up, again kicking her legs. "Because she reminds me of you, I guess."
"...I'm really not that special," you mutter. Sure, with your long black hair, and your thick glasses, and eyes that slip just into the tinge of violet…perhaps there's a physical resemblance. But you really don't think you can match her, the goddess you worship…
The Goddess of Sin.
…deep in the Underground beneath the City, where those considered unworthy to participate in society on the surface are forced to reside, there is a cult known as the Fourth Order. It is built upon the story of the Goddess, the so-called Princess of Sunlight, who wielded the ancient magic and ascended from humanity to become a concept that envelops the whole world in her boundless hope, to protect girls and women everywhere as her children. Once forgotten by history, the one obligatory tenet of the Order is to remember her.
Remember that someone is fighting for you, and that you are not alone.
There are countless other tales, of other girls like the Goddess, who wielded magic and miracles, all with their own wish in their hearts. All of them fighting their own battles, as girls, to protect what they hold dear. Rose follows the path of the First Coordinator, who offered shelter, respite, and resources to the city of rumors and spirits, empowering and changing girls with whispered words and gloved hands…
But you follow the Adversary.
Someone who loved the girl who would become the Goddess so much, she shattered time itself to save her from the Betrayers that craved to exploit her power. And when even the Goddess' ascension and conquest of reality itself was not enough to save her from the Betrayers, the girl took the only path she could…
To rip the Goddess straight from Heaven.
To disrupt the providence of the world, for the sake of love.
She became the Goddess of Sin, she who transgressed so that the Goddess might live on. A demon, whose love was strong enough to equal the Goddess' power. A pact sealed, for the sake of the world the Goddess loved, and the Adversary who loved her in turn.
To most people, in a contaminated world devoid of magic and miracles, of greedy corporations and fascist governments wielding war machines that walk on two legs, where women are so often treated like merchandise more than human beings…a faith like this has little meaning. Who would ever care about something as absurd as 'magical girls'?
But you still believe. That the ancient magic will someday return, that the lovers that ruled existence shall make their presence known to the poisoned Earth, and that the Ravens that wield the last remnants of the old world's technology - the humanoid weapons known as Armored Cores - are the Goddess' children, successors to the ancient magic, who can use that strength to change the world.
And so, you follow the Fourth Order, named for the fourth precept of the Adversary - 'ai yo'. Or as it's most often rendered in this language, in the Order: "Love conquers all."
You believe in love.
So…it's like that. You don't think you can live up to a goddess whose very existence is defined by love. That Priscilla says it so readily just makes you wonder if she truly appreciates what it is she's telling you.
But you've never been able to stop her, and so…you may as well indulge, right?
"I was told a new story today, actually," you begin. Stories themselves have meaning - each telling is different, and the lessons taught change as well. And simply through telling a story, it can become true, if one believes. Somewhere within that comes an idea that is communicated and transmitted from person to person, and even though the tales change, that idea somehow remains the same.
Some of Rose's books call it a 'meme', the cultural analogue of the 'gene', that spreads from mind to mind, person to person. Ideas take root, and bloom, and change those touched by it. And the Order lives on, the ideal eternal, even as the stories change…
(take root, just as they took root in you, dreaming late at night of a black-feathered demon, feeling a nameless longing that soon consumed your entire existence in shining black.)
You smile, recalling your friend's words at the meetings. "It was the last of the Adversary's loops, before the Goddess' ascension. The Goddess stood there, watching as her beloved fought to prevent Walpurgisnacht, and once more her efforts were in vain. The Betrayer stood before the Goddess, and asked her for her wish…"
Priscilla gazes intently at you, drinking in every word. She loves all the tales of the Order, and has memorized every one she's heard…but she always seems to listen a little closer, when it's you.
"And she wished that all the Adversary's efforts would be worth it. That in the new world, the new loop, she would be finally rewarded for her dedication.
"The Adversary awoke to her hospital bed, but the world had changed. Where none had wished for her presence before, now, there were countless letters wishing her well. The hospital staff saw her as she was discharged, and utterly adored her, in a way she'd never seen in the most aberrant of loops."
"As they should," Priscilla says, gaze still locked upon you.
"The Adversary could not trust this. She sought out one of her greatest enemies, a name spoken of in the same whispers as the Artist or the Genius - the Oracle. The one who sought to kill the Goddess, fearing her fall to despair as a weapon to surpass even Walpurgisnacht.
"Instead, she found the Assassin. The partner of the Oracle, whose devotion was a crazed thing, the result of a wish gone wrong. But…this Assassin didn't know the Oracle. Not closely, at least. But here, even down the barrel of a gun…she felt a bond with the Adversary, and could not feel threatened. And she pledged her service.
"The Adversary, unable to comprehend this, accepted - for the sake of the Goddess, of course. Just an alliance of convenience, so she'd tell herself.
"And so the Adversary proceeded on her mission, with the Assassin by her side. To watch over the Goddess…and the Assassin following her, loyally, not minding at all where the Adversary's eyes lay. She cured the Cheesemonger's mother, preventing her from falling to despair…and when they went to lunch, the Adversary fed the Assassin dessert from her spoon, while telling herself it was reluctant.
"The Adversary met with the Veteran, and her eyes too saw the Adversary as someone to love. The Veteran, when granted a target of romantic interest…her aim was as true as ever, when seeking a target like that, but the Adversary, consumed by despair, did not allow herself…
"But she started to waver.
"The Assassin openly suggested the idea that love did not need to be so limited, to simply one and another. That the Adversary deserved it, deserved to be happy - just as the Goddess had used her vast, limitless power to remake the world to ensure. But the Adversary could not accept it, even as she began to think about the idea, and think of the Assassin more and more fondly.
"When she visited the Heroine, she bought a gift for the Assassin. When she stole a battleship -"
"She WHAT?!" Priscilla, predictably, said the same thing you did.
"Yep. When she stole a battleship, she was thinking of the Assassin on the train. When she hunted another creature of despair, the Assassin and the Veteran plotted to love her together…
"But it all came to a head when the Adversary finally confronted the Oracle, face to face.
"The Oracle was dressed in lingerie, greeting both the Adversary and Assassin with a feast. Let me remind you, of course, who this is - the Oracle, the one woman the Adversary hated most in this world, who had earned an ire greater than even the Heroine's, who should never act this way toward the Adversary…
"In lingerie. Greeting her with a feast. And telling her about the future - a future where, if the Adversary played her cards right, she would prevent Walpurgisnacht. A future where the Adversary could be together with her beloved Goddess at last. A future where…
"Where the Adversary could love all she wished, and was surrounded by those she loved.
"Told to her by a girl in lingerie, clearly hoping, wishing, to be loved by a person who, until now, had never once thought of the Oracle in anything but contempt.
"The Adversary snapped. She ran. She took the Assassin with her, and…
"She begged. She begged, to help the Adversary. To help her in any way possible, even if not to return her love - this girl who had done so much for her, who had dedicated herself with no expectation of reward. Here, alone, in her atelier, in her home, trembling, so full of love, and the Adversary stood at a crossroads…all her hurt, her trauma, her doubt and pain telling her to refuse - and part of her, surely, wondering if it would betray the Goddess to return it - but she was so tired, and here was someone who would love her, and surely…
"Surely, the Goddess would never refuse her. There was no reason to fear. The Adversary, beyond all that she had built up to protect herself…just as she was originally, and just as she would be at the end of eternity, she was still a being of love."
…you pause, looking to Priscilla, utterly in awe…well, she always looks like that when you tell a story. And once she realizes you aren't continuing, she asks, "And…what happens next? Did the Adversary give in? Or did she try to guilt herself more, push the Assassin away once again?"
"I don't know," you say, shrugging. "He hasn't finished telling me yet."
"...he? He's a boy?" Priscilla seems…confused. "But, he's part of the Order, right?"
Huh. That…was not a question you expected to ask, but given Priscilla's ignorance of the Order - and the fact that she'd only been exposed to you, Nora, and occasionally Kuro - it'd probably be reasonable of her to assume all of it was made up of girls, girls who loved girls and girls who chose to be girls.
Priscilla hasn't come to any meetings yet, of course. She's mostly been adapting to life in the Underground, spending time with Rose and your other friends, and trying to find ways she can help out. She's not really a part of the Order yet, though you expect it won't be long until she chooses that path, and comes to a meeting to pledge to remember the Goddess and her sacrifice.
(Even if, on some level, you know she already has…)
"There are boys in the Order," you say. "Lots of them. Like that musician from Redentor, who's making that remix album of our hymns. And of course, the person telling me this story."
Priscilla looks…unconvinced. "It's all about love between girls, right?"
"Mostly." There are some stories about love with boys, like the ones your acquaintance Asagi favors, but you've found every last one you've heard distasteful one way or another. "But, well, I think you can appreciate that love without wanting to participate in it. Kind of like how Rose doesn't have any interest in sex, but she still enjoys stories that have sexual elements. Or some girls, who don't even want romance, but like hearing about it. There's plenty to appreciate in the Goddess' message, and the Adversary's, even for boys. And if they're just in it to hear about girls kissing and having sex, well…better this than anything you'd find in lesbian 'porn' on the surface, let alone how girls like me are exploited…"
"Like you…how you thought you were a boy, right? I think it's really tragic…it's so horrible, how you had to think that!"
…jeez. Priscilla's somehow internalized the Order's teachings faster than you did. You'd have expected a surfacer to at least need some adjustment, but…
"It's true, I was born that way. But, well…not all boys are like I was. I don't think you should treat them all as candidates by default." You sigh, and pluck your glasses off your head, wiping them down. "If they're interested in the Order, there's a much better chance they are than any random man off the street. I won't deny that. And it was because a girl, a girl a lot like you, told me I could be a girl, and I didn't have to let anyone else decide that for me, that I was able to make this choice. Helping candidates, and encouraging them, will always be one of the Order's roles.
"But sometimes…a boy is just a boy, even if he's in the Order, and remembers the Goddess and her sacrifice. And that's fine. Plus there's people who are both - let me tell you about the Starlights, sometime."
Priscilla sighs, hopping off the counter and puffing her cheeks, sitting down in front of you. "I don't get it. You've helped lots of girls, you know? Like…you know. Charlotte. The one who likes dolls, and likes imagining herself as one…"
(...why do you get the sense Priscilla is imagining the same?)
"Charlotte was never a boy, of course," you say. "Just as I never was. But until then, I wasn't sure. At first, I didn't see anything in her of that. But I was willing to accept her as part of the Order - after all, even before she contracted, she accepted me as a newhalf, and the love between girls around her, as something normal - even something to be loved. It was only later that we started to talk more, I started to suspect, and she started to come to the realization…that she wanted what I had, and that she could become Charlotte, if she so wished it.
"But if she wasn't Charlotte, that wouldn't change that she's part of the Order. The Goddess shall accept their support and kindness all the same, even if she laments they'll never feel what it's like to be a girl, and touch their cheek to another."
"...but, you were just going on about someone else, weren't you? Yesterday? Someone who still thinks she's a boy, and you're already saying she's a girl…"
"I did say that we shouldn't treat them as candidates by default…" You raise your hands, to properly express your feelings through the ancient magic of finger-quotes. "But when a 'boy' comes up and says, she wants to be a Raven tainted by evil, corrupted by shining, dripping blackness and empowered by dark forces whispering in her mind…and when she starts 'roleplaying' as her, every single meeting, only referring to herself as a 'boy' when directly prompted…you can probably safely assume she's a candidate, simply waiting for the Adversary to bloom within her and show her the way."
…well. That was quite an extreme example, there's plenty of leeway in which you'll still feel comfortable calling someone a candidate…but it makes your point well enough. Taking on a girl's guise occasionally is hardly enough evidence, just as a girl might choose to play as a man when roleplaying sometimes…but if one spends all of their waking hours 'pretending' to be a girl, or does so consistently and without fail, that's when anyone in the Order should start asking questions.
"Shouldn't you tell her that, then?" Priscilla asks - a simple question, that suits the way she sees the Order so far.
(…you wonder, how she'll feel after years of life in the Underground has hardened her to the difference between truth and ideals.)
"She has to come to the realization on her own. And we have to accept her when she says no, so we don't push her away. Even if, someday…" You think back, to that person who told you that, so long ago - and whose assertion that you were a girl you first rejected, before realizing the truth. "She will kneel before the Goddess' emblem, and pray, without really knowing why."
"I still don't get it." Priscilla puffs her cheeks again. "If someone were offered the chance to be a girl, and love girls…if it were you telling someone that, why would they say no?"
"I'm not saying I understand it." You settle your glasses back on, and look Priscilla in the eye. "I'll always tell them, 'you can be a girl too'. And if they wish to join me, in the Adversary's image, I'll welcome them with open arms. But once we start seeing everyone as a candidate, well…besides the ethical issues inherent in that, in practice that just ends up driving people away who would be better approached in a gentler fashion." The idea of driving anyone away from this - driving yourself away from this - terrifies you, after all.
It's easier to accept what you cannot change, than to push people into the wrong decision, simply because you're scared they won't make what you assume is the right one.
"...even so…" Priscilla pops her elbows onto the table, and props up her chin in her hands. "If it were up to me, everyone would be a girl - and everyone would love the Adversary, and become hers."
"I wonder, if maybe there's a world where that's true…" you say, once more locked with Priscilla's eyes…
(…and why does Priscilla saying that make you blush so much?)
Well, I'll chalk it up to the fact that...
