DracoDracul
Transbian Communist
- Location
- Austin
- Pronouns
- She/They
Well either that or under the sway of some dark force that promised to make her nightmares go away.
🦋 Team Butterfly Forever 🦋
- Thread starter open_sketch
- Start date
- Original Mature Novel
- Location
- France
I think that any realistic "Kimiyo is secretly evil now" option will strongly focus on the trauma of it. "She turns evil due to trauma and must now be defeated by the power of friendship" is too close to an adventure story played straight, IMO. It'd be something like the post above mine, where everything remains driven by the reality ensues of being a protagonist.
NotInventedHere
MSV, Desert Class
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Esme, not Kimiyo - the one that was a child soldier, not the one that's Eve's girlfriend - but also yes, I don't expect a "the power of friendship overcomes the dark influence and everyone hugs it out" here.
Coyote Niff
the most transbian obligate scavenger on the 'net!
- Location
- Misery!
- Pronouns
- She/Her
HOT TAKE: ESME IS THE NEW SHADOW QUEEN
- Location
- Outside the Box
- Pronouns
- She/Her
The twist is that everyone on Team Butterfly is secretly trying to become the next shadow queen. (Yes, even Andy.) They're not going to be defeated by the power of friendship so much as the sheer colossal embarrassment of realizing that they're all going through their evil heel-turn phase simultaneously.
- Location
- Soviet Canuckistan
She needs all the hugs. They all do. Hopefully they get 'em.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
If I do not miss my guess, that's the story's goal!
Gears
I now make shiity tanks for C&C Generals.
Are we talking spinebreaking hugs that leave you paralyzed or something?
- Location
- Ottawa
- Pronouns
- She/Her/Whatever
believe it or not I pitched this story to my friends as a light-hearted alternative to Buried in Steel
Admittedly all of them were like "jesus that's dark wtf" and "erika i think your perspective on what lighthearted means might be really fucked"
but i'm not sure what they're talking about. it's magical girls!
Admittedly all of them were like "jesus that's dark wtf" and "erika i think your perspective on what lighthearted means might be really fucked"
but i'm not sure what they're talking about. it's magical girls!
ThatGazzer
Minds Eye Bind
- Location
- PNW
- Pronouns
- They/Them
As one of those friends, I'm keeping an eye out for the 5 Across The Heart References!
What's the point of writing magical girls if you can't be indulgently self-referential?
Coyote Niff
the most transbian obligate scavenger on the 'net!
- Location
- Misery!
- Pronouns
- She/Her
what's buried in steel?? where can i see/read it??
- Pronouns
- He/Him
- Location
- Outside the Box
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Link he-ok, link above, too. Sketch has all her threads linked to in her signature, as do some other writers. You can also do a search for all threads created by a specific user.
10ebbor10
DON'T PANIC
- Location
- Present
Always remember, gamma radiation is light, so hitting someone with the deathray is lighthearted as long as you aim center mass.
Names For Those Who Need A Guide
New
- Location
- Ottawa
- Pronouns
- She/Her/Whatever
If it helps, here's everyone's names and corresponding magical girl identities. And full name reveal for a bunch of characters gasp!
Butterfly Knights
- Eve Nakamura (Butterfly Ward)
- Okamoto Kimiyo (Butterfly Sage)
- Brigid Aisling O'Connell (Butterfly Spark)
- Riley Bailey, née Carter (Butterfly Heart)
- Esmeralda "Esmé" Castillo (Butterfly Shine)
Knights Errant
- Tracy Sinclaire (Butterfly Echo)
- Lyra Moreau (Butterfly Veil)
Allies
- Amara Stewart (Prince/ss Rose) (No you don't get to know her deadname)
- Androcles "Andy" the Magical Talking Cat
DracoDracul
Transbian Communist
- Location
- Austin
- Pronouns
- She/They
Not often I see a Castillo in fiction.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
thank you for this! I am bad with names, lol
- Location
- France
I did mean Kimiyo. Her odd behaviour could all be explained by a dramatic shift towards despair and the "dark side".
But yes all that could also apply to Esme.
- Location
- Germany
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Time to re-read everything from chapter 1 I guess, this time with a cheat sheet.
I'm also pretty bad with names, and having so many new characters introduced at once, while needing to connect them to the as-of-yet unnamed magical girls from the prologue was pretty confusion, so this helps a lot.
Intermission 1 🦋 September 28th, 2004
New
- Location
- Ottawa
- Pronouns
- She/Her/Whatever
A single set of footsteps echoed in the dark, empty mall, a steady tap-tap of expensive shoes against well-worn tile. In the middle of the hall, the woman who had stood unmoving behind the large new kiosk turned slowly, her eyes fixed with unnatural focus on the source of the sound.
From the shadow, lit by the silver of moonlight emerging from the skylight, a man emerged. He was tall, finely dressed in a suit and tie, his hair cropped short and with a single silver earring.
"Umbra IV, report," he said. The woman snapped a fist to her chest and bowed.
"Yes, my Prince. Over four hundred devices were distributed today. Young adult humans appear skeptical of the contract's generous terms, but adolescents and older humans are easy sells and do not ask questions," the woman reported. "We will need more devices."
"Very good, Umbra IV. More will be arriving with the morning. To quicken distribution, the Queen has authorized the deployment of another. This is Lamenta II; it is a more sophisticated model, and you are now subordinate to it," the man snapped. Behind him, a shape loomed, just briefly, but it shrank and changed as it approached the light until all that remained was a young woman with hair in an elaborate braided bun and a plethora of plastic jewellery around her neck.
"Reporting, my Prince. What do you order?"
The man turned to address the newcomer, then stopped. His eyes shifted, scanning the dark, a smile crossing his face.
"Clever bitch…"
"STOP!" a voice ran out. He and his servants turned, and there, perched on the railing like a balance bar, was a familiar figure in white and blue, the moonlight's silver redoubled against armour plate. "Cell phones are a miracle technology that connect friends and family no matter where they are! To corrupt them to foul schemes is an act of profound injustice! It's evil! It's wrong! It's un-American!"
She stepped off the balcony, landing on the tile so lightly she didn't make a sound. The bronze buckler on her arm unfolded like elegant origami, butterfly wings fluttering into a tall tower shield that seemed to glow with a golden light.
"I am the beautiful defender of the people of this beautiful city, and I will not stand to see it harmed! Now is your last chance to surrender!" she declared her arm outstretched, the shield weighing nothing to her.
The man laughed.
"You again. This won't be like last time, Butterfly Ward; my Queen has been quiet generous. Umbra IV, Lamenta II… kill her."
The two woman's gaze snapped to her with unnatural speed, and they moved. Umbra leapt over the kiosk and landed heavily, heavy footfalls tearing up the tile, while Lamenta simply launched herself with full force. Butterfly Ward planted the shield into the ground and shoved, timed exactly right to meet her attacker. The woman recoiled off and rolled against the ground even as Umbra skidded past to flank her.
Ward pivoted on her armoured heel, tearing apart the flooring as she brought the shield around with a heavy thump and a shower of blue sparks. Umbra span away onto all fours, her head snapping up to expose the hideous ruin made of her youthful face. The skin and muscle was torn away to expose a metallic, inhuman skull under it, the surface unworked and raw, eye glowing with teal fire. It hissed and scrambled forward again, fingers distorting into lengthening blades.
Ward's gauntleted fist came down in an overhand punch that drove it headfirst into the ground, then she slammed the lower edge of the shield into its neck a moment later. There was a snap.
"Jesus," the man exclaimed with a wince. The girl jerked the shield from the shattered remains of the demon; molten lead dripped onto the floor. She locked eyes with the man and began to advance, trailing motes of amber light and flowing, diaphanous ribbon.
Then Lamenta came back in like a thunderbolt, tackling Ward to the ground. The blow had torn loose the disguise on the top of its forehead to expose the brassy crystalline structure under it and the insectoid compound eyes lurking in its sockets. It raised back its fist and drove it down into Ward's face, rebounding her head off the floor and vapourizing the false flesh on its knuckles.
"Bright Star Aura!" Ward called, her body suddenly flaring gold. The demon shrieked and recoiled, what was left of its disguise burning away wherever the light touched, sloughing off and dripping like melting wax. The light faded just as quickly, but it gave time for Ward to stand and wipe the blood away from her nose. She was panting, and sounded like she was choking back tears.
"W-wow, this one can hit," she admitted, squaring herself up. "O-oh God, come on. Let's go, let's fucking go…"
Lamenta II lashed out, an inhumanly long arm whipping around Ward's shield and pulling her forward. As she stumbled, its other arm came forward, tipped with a blade, and plunged for her chest; she deflected with her gauntlet, but not far enough to avoid it cutting deep into her arm. A kick to her leg sent her down to a knee, and she looked up groggy into the pitiless eyes of the demon looming over her.
"Finish this," the man ordered, and Ward gave a bloodied smile.
"B-Bright Star Aura," she stammered, and wrapped the creature's waist in a hug. It screamed, not like a person but like escaping steam, hot iron plunged into water, flailing and pushing and unable to escape. It simply came apart in the middle, and Butterfly Ward was left doubled over, its red-hot remains flowing off the shimmering golden halo as she breathed heavily.
"Okay… okay… I got this… I got this…" she muttered, pushing herself back to her feet. She was crying, face screwed up from pain, blood dripping from the cut on her shield arm, but she stood. "It's over, Prince Thornheart."
"It is," the man said, stepping forward. He reached into his suit and drew something forth, something that glinted in the light. "You are magnificent, you know that? We weren't expecting this kind of resistance from the mortal world, especially not from one so lovely."
Butterfly Ward shivered. This dude was like, what, forty? She squared up behind the shield, watching him approach through the loophole, her other hand closing around her sword. Maybe this was the time it was truly needed.
"I could use someone like you," the man said, and then he held out a mirror in his hand. Eve caught sight of herself, cowering behind the shield, caught sight of a wide eye staring through the loophole, and then she could see nothing else, vision locked. "Lower your guard, Butterfly Ward."
"No," she said firmly, as the shield fell away.
"Hand off your sword, Butterfly Ward."
"N-no," she said, as the hilt slipped from her fingers and her hand fell loose to her side.
"On your knees, Butterfly Ward."
"... no…" She fell, head bowed, and the man approached and reached out.
Then something caught his arm. Something pulled, and he stumbled, the mirror dropping away. Butterfly Ward gave a weak sob and collapsed to her side, grasping ineffectually at the floor as the man turned.
"Disgusting old man! Take your hands off her!" a voice called.
"Fuck off, another one?" the man exclaimed. He gripped his tie and pulled it loose, and the suit went with it with a ripple of fabric, exposing a suit of dark steel armour, a flowing cape of turquoise and gold, and a crown of iron. He drew a long falchion smoothly with one hand, the other still gripping the mirror. "The one from LA, I presume."
There, standing atop the food court sign was a new figure. She wore a long red skirt and white vest, her arms and shoulders protected with lacquered crimson steel that gleamed in the moonlight. She stepped forward and walked down through the air, a string appearing in mid-air and drawn tight to form a staircase that vanished as soon as she walked on.
"Aren't you going to give your little speech?" the man mocked.
"Hikari no ito," she replied, drawing her hand into a fist. Instantly, a dozen spectral ropes looped around the man, constricting as she squeezed her fist tighter. The armour cracked and crumpled against the force of it. She pulled her fist downward, and Prince Thornheart crashed heavily to his knees. "Not so fun, is it?"
The man twisted and found his leverage, and his sword passed through the strings in an instant. The girl gasped and staggered, her hand opening involuntarily as the threads fell away, then she drew herself up again and cast her arm out. The sword parted the strings with ease, and then the Prince was standing before her, the mirror raised to her face.
"What is your name, girl?" he demanded.
"Butterfly Sage."
"On your knees, Butterfly Sage," the man snarled.
"No," she replied. She grabbed his wrist and drove her elbow into his armoured breastplate, and there was a bang as the metal deformed around the impact. The Prince was blown backward, feet digging furrows in the ground until he stopped. He glanced down at his mirror, then back.
"Next time, Butterfly Knights," he spat, and then he turned and was gone. The mall now was silent, echoing only with the sizzling sound of molten metal and Butterfly Ward's pained, sobbing breaths.
Butterfly Sage walked over to her and leaned down, turning her over and inspecting the wound. With a twirl of her finger, threads wove through the cut on her arm, stitching it closed, then she reached out a hand. Butterfly Ward took it, wiping her other gauntlet across her cheeks to dry her tears.
"T-thank you," she said, sniffling. "What was that? It felt so awful…"
"Butterfly Ward," Sage said sternly. "Go home."
"W-what?" she said, blinking behind her glasses.
"Whatever that was, you're too weak to stand up to it. You're terrified, you're crying, you obviously don't want to be here," she said. Her voice was stern, but there was concern there. "I'll take it from here."
She turned, her footsteps silent as she walked away.
"Wait!" Ward called. "I… can't we work together? Everything's easier with a friend."
The girl paused, clearly thinking about it. Something about the words resonated with her.
"Tomorrow night, meet me at Oracle Park. There's something wrong there; I can see it in the strings," she instructed.
"Okay. Thank you!" Ward called out. Butterfly Sage ducked through the doors of the mall, and she was gone.
Butterfly Ward staggered toward the opposite door, where a tiny off-white cat bound out from his hiding place just inside the Limited Too.
"Oh thank the Goddess, Ward, I was terrified," Andy said, glancing down the hall.
"Did you know she was going to show up? Butterfly Sage?" Ward asked. The tiny cat shook his head.
"Hadn't the foggiest, but twas a good thing. Come now, Butterfly Ward, chin up! You did well, though I daresay you could learn a thing or two from that Sage."
"I hope so," Butterfly Ward muttered, glancing through the door. "Oh, cops again. Let's go to the roof. And… yeah. You sure I can't tell anyone about any of this?"
"Positive, Butterfly Ward, the secret is what protects you and those who care for you," Andy instructed as they made their way up the stairs.
"That sucks. I bet Kimmy would love to know about Butterfly Sage." Ward paused on the stairs, frowning. "Hey Andy, who's the one from LA Prince Thornheart mentioned? Is that her?"
"I don't know, Butterfly Ward. There is much it seems I haven't been told," he said. "Now, be a dear and pick me up, and do hold on tight when you jump. I may always land on my feet, but from a certain height that is a somewhat academic distinction."
From the shadow, lit by the silver of moonlight emerging from the skylight, a man emerged. He was tall, finely dressed in a suit and tie, his hair cropped short and with a single silver earring.
"Umbra IV, report," he said. The woman snapped a fist to her chest and bowed.
"Yes, my Prince. Over four hundred devices were distributed today. Young adult humans appear skeptical of the contract's generous terms, but adolescents and older humans are easy sells and do not ask questions," the woman reported. "We will need more devices."
"Very good, Umbra IV. More will be arriving with the morning. To quicken distribution, the Queen has authorized the deployment of another. This is Lamenta II; it is a more sophisticated model, and you are now subordinate to it," the man snapped. Behind him, a shape loomed, just briefly, but it shrank and changed as it approached the light until all that remained was a young woman with hair in an elaborate braided bun and a plethora of plastic jewellery around her neck.
"Reporting, my Prince. What do you order?"
The man turned to address the newcomer, then stopped. His eyes shifted, scanning the dark, a smile crossing his face.
"Clever bitch…"
"STOP!" a voice ran out. He and his servants turned, and there, perched on the railing like a balance bar, was a familiar figure in white and blue, the moonlight's silver redoubled against armour plate. "Cell phones are a miracle technology that connect friends and family no matter where they are! To corrupt them to foul schemes is an act of profound injustice! It's evil! It's wrong! It's un-American!"
She stepped off the balcony, landing on the tile so lightly she didn't make a sound. The bronze buckler on her arm unfolded like elegant origami, butterfly wings fluttering into a tall tower shield that seemed to glow with a golden light.
"I am the beautiful defender of the people of this beautiful city, and I will not stand to see it harmed! Now is your last chance to surrender!" she declared her arm outstretched, the shield weighing nothing to her.
The man laughed.
"You again. This won't be like last time, Butterfly Ward; my Queen has been quiet generous. Umbra IV, Lamenta II… kill her."
The two woman's gaze snapped to her with unnatural speed, and they moved. Umbra leapt over the kiosk and landed heavily, heavy footfalls tearing up the tile, while Lamenta simply launched herself with full force. Butterfly Ward planted the shield into the ground and shoved, timed exactly right to meet her attacker. The woman recoiled off and rolled against the ground even as Umbra skidded past to flank her.
Ward pivoted on her armoured heel, tearing apart the flooring as she brought the shield around with a heavy thump and a shower of blue sparks. Umbra span away onto all fours, her head snapping up to expose the hideous ruin made of her youthful face. The skin and muscle was torn away to expose a metallic, inhuman skull under it, the surface unworked and raw, eye glowing with teal fire. It hissed and scrambled forward again, fingers distorting into lengthening blades.
Ward's gauntleted fist came down in an overhand punch that drove it headfirst into the ground, then she slammed the lower edge of the shield into its neck a moment later. There was a snap.
"Jesus," the man exclaimed with a wince. The girl jerked the shield from the shattered remains of the demon; molten lead dripped onto the floor. She locked eyes with the man and began to advance, trailing motes of amber light and flowing, diaphanous ribbon.
Then Lamenta came back in like a thunderbolt, tackling Ward to the ground. The blow had torn loose the disguise on the top of its forehead to expose the brassy crystalline structure under it and the insectoid compound eyes lurking in its sockets. It raised back its fist and drove it down into Ward's face, rebounding her head off the floor and vapourizing the false flesh on its knuckles.
"Bright Star Aura!" Ward called, her body suddenly flaring gold. The demon shrieked and recoiled, what was left of its disguise burning away wherever the light touched, sloughing off and dripping like melting wax. The light faded just as quickly, but it gave time for Ward to stand and wipe the blood away from her nose. She was panting, and sounded like she was choking back tears.
"W-wow, this one can hit," she admitted, squaring herself up. "O-oh God, come on. Let's go, let's fucking go…"
Lamenta II lashed out, an inhumanly long arm whipping around Ward's shield and pulling her forward. As she stumbled, its other arm came forward, tipped with a blade, and plunged for her chest; she deflected with her gauntlet, but not far enough to avoid it cutting deep into her arm. A kick to her leg sent her down to a knee, and she looked up groggy into the pitiless eyes of the demon looming over her.
"Finish this," the man ordered, and Ward gave a bloodied smile.
"B-Bright Star Aura," she stammered, and wrapped the creature's waist in a hug. It screamed, not like a person but like escaping steam, hot iron plunged into water, flailing and pushing and unable to escape. It simply came apart in the middle, and Butterfly Ward was left doubled over, its red-hot remains flowing off the shimmering golden halo as she breathed heavily.
"Okay… okay… I got this… I got this…" she muttered, pushing herself back to her feet. She was crying, face screwed up from pain, blood dripping from the cut on her shield arm, but she stood. "It's over, Prince Thornheart."
"It is," the man said, stepping forward. He reached into his suit and drew something forth, something that glinted in the light. "You are magnificent, you know that? We weren't expecting this kind of resistance from the mortal world, especially not from one so lovely."
Butterfly Ward shivered. This dude was like, what, forty? She squared up behind the shield, watching him approach through the loophole, her other hand closing around her sword. Maybe this was the time it was truly needed.
"I could use someone like you," the man said, and then he held out a mirror in his hand. Eve caught sight of herself, cowering behind the shield, caught sight of a wide eye staring through the loophole, and then she could see nothing else, vision locked. "Lower your guard, Butterfly Ward."
"No," she said firmly, as the shield fell away.
"Hand off your sword, Butterfly Ward."
"N-no," she said, as the hilt slipped from her fingers and her hand fell loose to her side.
"On your knees, Butterfly Ward."
"... no…" She fell, head bowed, and the man approached and reached out.
Then something caught his arm. Something pulled, and he stumbled, the mirror dropping away. Butterfly Ward gave a weak sob and collapsed to her side, grasping ineffectually at the floor as the man turned.
"Disgusting old man! Take your hands off her!" a voice called.
"Fuck off, another one?" the man exclaimed. He gripped his tie and pulled it loose, and the suit went with it with a ripple of fabric, exposing a suit of dark steel armour, a flowing cape of turquoise and gold, and a crown of iron. He drew a long falchion smoothly with one hand, the other still gripping the mirror. "The one from LA, I presume."
There, standing atop the food court sign was a new figure. She wore a long red skirt and white vest, her arms and shoulders protected with lacquered crimson steel that gleamed in the moonlight. She stepped forward and walked down through the air, a string appearing in mid-air and drawn tight to form a staircase that vanished as soon as she walked on.
"Aren't you going to give your little speech?" the man mocked.
"Hikari no ito," she replied, drawing her hand into a fist. Instantly, a dozen spectral ropes looped around the man, constricting as she squeezed her fist tighter. The armour cracked and crumpled against the force of it. She pulled her fist downward, and Prince Thornheart crashed heavily to his knees. "Not so fun, is it?"
The man twisted and found his leverage, and his sword passed through the strings in an instant. The girl gasped and staggered, her hand opening involuntarily as the threads fell away, then she drew herself up again and cast her arm out. The sword parted the strings with ease, and then the Prince was standing before her, the mirror raised to her face.
"What is your name, girl?" he demanded.
"Butterfly Sage."
"On your knees, Butterfly Sage," the man snarled.
"No," she replied. She grabbed his wrist and drove her elbow into his armoured breastplate, and there was a bang as the metal deformed around the impact. The Prince was blown backward, feet digging furrows in the ground until he stopped. He glanced down at his mirror, then back.
"Next time, Butterfly Knights," he spat, and then he turned and was gone. The mall now was silent, echoing only with the sizzling sound of molten metal and Butterfly Ward's pained, sobbing breaths.
Butterfly Sage walked over to her and leaned down, turning her over and inspecting the wound. With a twirl of her finger, threads wove through the cut on her arm, stitching it closed, then she reached out a hand. Butterfly Ward took it, wiping her other gauntlet across her cheeks to dry her tears.
"T-thank you," she said, sniffling. "What was that? It felt so awful…"
"Butterfly Ward," Sage said sternly. "Go home."
"W-what?" she said, blinking behind her glasses.
"Whatever that was, you're too weak to stand up to it. You're terrified, you're crying, you obviously don't want to be here," she said. Her voice was stern, but there was concern there. "I'll take it from here."
She turned, her footsteps silent as she walked away.
"Wait!" Ward called. "I… can't we work together? Everything's easier with a friend."
The girl paused, clearly thinking about it. Something about the words resonated with her.
"Tomorrow night, meet me at Oracle Park. There's something wrong there; I can see it in the strings," she instructed.
"Okay. Thank you!" Ward called out. Butterfly Sage ducked through the doors of the mall, and she was gone.
Butterfly Ward staggered toward the opposite door, where a tiny off-white cat bound out from his hiding place just inside the Limited Too.
"Oh thank the Goddess, Ward, I was terrified," Andy said, glancing down the hall.
"Did you know she was going to show up? Butterfly Sage?" Ward asked. The tiny cat shook his head.
"Hadn't the foggiest, but twas a good thing. Come now, Butterfly Ward, chin up! You did well, though I daresay you could learn a thing or two from that Sage."
"I hope so," Butterfly Ward muttered, glancing through the door. "Oh, cops again. Let's go to the roof. And… yeah. You sure I can't tell anyone about any of this?"
"Positive, Butterfly Ward, the secret is what protects you and those who care for you," Andy instructed as they made their way up the stairs.
"That sucks. I bet Kimmy would love to know about Butterfly Sage." Ward paused on the stairs, frowning. "Hey Andy, who's the one from LA Prince Thornheart mentioned? Is that her?"
"I don't know, Butterfly Ward. There is much it seems I haven't been told," he said. "Now, be a dear and pick me up, and do hold on tight when you jump. I may always land on my feet, but from a certain height that is a somewhat academic distinction."
Last edited:
- Location
- Soviet Canuckistan
The beginning of a beautiful friendship
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Fun fact for Andy, a cat's terminal velocity and ability to position their body mid-fall is able to reduce their terminal velocity to the point where even very high falls are somewhat survivable, which is part of why they get their reputation. Not always survivable though.
Really like the imagery in the action. Mainly the hug of obliteration. The dialogue is also just, so good
Really like the imagery in the action. Mainly the hug of obliteration. The dialogue is also just, so good