feedback appreciated

The Sun rises on the last day of the creation of the Sanctuary. It's not a particularly *impressive* sunrise mind you, there's been plenty as the Sun was made about ten years ago, but it's there and it's still beautiful. Honestly I'm tempted to say hi but . . . I won't. The Sun is probably way...

Chapter 1 Rain pattered against the windshield of the van as it raced past traffic that pulled over for it. Bold, white letters on its side were visible for only a second as it came and went: PRT. Everyone knew they meant 'Parahuman Response Team'. For locals, it was an unfortunate and...

AN: Originally posted in my snippet corner. I'm doing much better these days; a warm "thank you" for anyone who was concerned! As for this story, which I'm enjoying quite a bit: feedback is an author's food pellets. Feed me, Seymour. A searing screen of sunlight sliced the town of Little...

“The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.” - Herb Caen Immortality: a highly coveted yet scorned state of being. It’s very controversial as many argue whether or not it improves or diminishes life. Does having no end make life meaningless? Does it all become...

The sound is cacophonous. Gunfire, explosions, the screams of the wounded, the roars of beasts. But Tiffany is listening to two quieter sounds. "Ping," goes the motion detector. "Beep," goes the data tracker. The signals are coming from the same place. Tiffany bites her lip, staring into the...

You've been thinking a lot about choices lately, and how obvious the right answer is in hindsight. "Should I have bought more and maybe better food before going through Reflection Cave?" Yes, as the last can of beans bubbling next to the fire in front of you illustrates. "Should I have let Ziggy...

Prologue From behind, the other passengers of the cruise liner Oceana would be forgiven for assuming that Aevis Willow was just a normal teenager. The boy made for a mundane sight, huddling against the ocean breeze in a dark green jacket over a white shirt and khaki pants. The lower parts of...

I came up with this Sword Art Online OC-insert fusion multi-crossover idea: https://gitlab.com/RandomDSdevel/as-yet-untitled-sword-art-online-oc-insert-fusion-multi-crossover-idea/ This thread is for any discussion of it. Update frequency: Irregular Other settings brought in that aren't...

Your full title is "The Empyreal Threat Analysis and Countermeasure Development Network", but your human creators simply nicknamed you Eta. You are an experimental artificial intelligence designed to assist in their research of the Warp and the development of possible defenses against the...

Slowly boiling with irritation, Aranea clenched her fangs as fingers tugged at the long ear again. Her arm shot out, eager to catch the culprit, but the fingers closed around nothingness. Darn it. "Please be still, daughter," Gregor purred. "I am standing still!" Aranea snapped. "You're the...

AN: This was originally posted in my snippet thread and the AdMis thread. Hopefully, prior setting knowledge will not be required, and the story may contain Supergirl and/or Administrative Mishap spoilers because of it. Prior knowledge will at least help, though. Queen Administrator was...

Chapter 1 - As If a Dream It was the dream that did it. Or at least that's what he tried to tell himself any time he looked back on that day. Rather than a sudden or shocking change, it was a gradual transition. One moment he was dreaming of shaping worlds with finely tuned tools while...

Everything hurt, that much was certain. The wolves that had attacked me, that I had just barely driven off with my newly mastered move, had left their mark on my body. Wincing in pain as one of the various wounds covering my body throbbed, I continued limping back to my den. Those damn wolves…...

Taking one last swig of cheap alcohol I drop the bottle from my lips to the ground, empty. My name is Abram and after 48 days I've failed the cycle once again. I thought I had all the answers, that I was strong enough to keep going, but in the end, I'm just a failure. I could never do it before...

Wanted to try writing again, decided to try something with dialogue, and only dialogue. Any feedback would be great. ----- “Lacuna?” “I am here, mammal.” “First, don’t call me mammal. My name is Riley, use it. Second, get up. We're having a roommate meeting.” “I cannot get up. We...

Packing everything up to run away was an experience, you could say that much. The days spent carefully squirreling away your belongings, specifically the ones that you absolutely had to take with you, into a hiking backpack. Buying items from stores, then immediately hiding them away, afraid...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ride of the dragoon! Worldbuilding Ah...

AN: For those who have a strong preference, there is a separate poll for which viewpoint (first-person, second-person, third-person, or the narrative vs. vote contrast seen in this OP) will be used for the quest. I’ll retroactively edit the OP to match the winner after a few days. EDIT: Annnd...

Authors Note: I love the Yakuza Series. I love its wackiness, its seriousness, how it's tone varies to cover so many topics and subjects. From the myth of the neighbourhood Yakuza clashing with the brutal criminal reality, from Karoake to gang wars. But for such a diverse cast, despite its...

Hi I am looking to do slow-motion micro filming with a compacted Camera (Sony RX M6) I have researched online and found that the best one would be 1:1 ratio So I was just wondering if people know what anything more about them. Also check out a video I've done. Love all feedback on how to...

Chapter 1: Hearthhome Tavern ‘Warm yourself by the hearth.’ Such was what was written on the plaque, lazily hung over a peg. It was… not exactly the most splendid advertisement. After all, those who knew how to read and write were few and far between. It be better to etch out what the inn had...

What a fool you had been. You are Brent Harley, 23rd richest man in the world. Though you suppose none of that matters now. You were born to a well-off family of doctors and entrepreneurs, even if your dad was a boor who made money flipping antiques. Though your starting point was high, you...

Hello there! I have some characters I am making for a story I plan to write, and I would love some feed back. I have a 5 man band set up, with some basic backstory and goals for them. Tell me what you think? Amelia: The daughter of a farmer with a deep talent for nature magic, she is drawn to a...

QM’s Note: Yes, I know I have a ton of quests already, but I have 0 empire-builders. I wanted to try one and I was able to redirect my muse from an even less productive project in the process. I also made a separate poll (link at the end of this first post) for what POV to write this in. It’s...

Blockade Runner a Star Wars Story - News of the destruction of the DEATH STAR has spread among the galaxy like wildfire. Across a thousand worlds IMPERIAL authorities struggle to retain order without the SENATE while worlds slip through their fingers. In the OUNTOONA sector in the...