Wyrm (A Worm Quest)

Cracks 1.8


[x] I would finally go back home. Grab some clothes and a few more things. It hurt but I needed to wash again and I didn't need to take everything. Just a little. And maybe I could test a few things in the basement.



Faint colours, words I couldn't understand, and the last few flashes of images slipped away when I woke. Blinking against the sun. I was just breathing for now, waiting for things to make sense again and enjoying the few moments in which they didn't. My contentment had faded away again, just like last time, but I didn't feel hungry yet. The sleepiness had faded completely and even if I wanted to fall back asleep I probably wouldn't have been able to manage it. So I blinked at the ceiling for a few moments and then reached for my glasses. I' been pretty shocked to see they at least made it through the crash with only some scratches on the glass. Not enough reason to replace them.

Although somehow the world with glasses had become slightly blurrier. I didn't think they were that dirty, but I supposed I would have to take care of that before I went out. The alarm clock on my bedside table told me it was already past nine. Twelve hours. I'd managed to sleep for a full twelve hours again and had no idea how. I really hoped I would find a way around that problem before I had to go back to school.

And to make matters worse, no matter how long I spent trying to polish my glasses, things weren't going back to quite the same sharp images I was used to. They got a bit better, but that was about it and seemed to come with time rather than anything I could do for my glasses. I was just lucky it wasn't bad enough to be anywhere near blind, I just had a lot of problems seeing things at a distance now. Close by was less of an issue…

I should probably look into that at some point. After a shower and some normal breakfast. Even if it seemed slightly silly considering my new eating habits. I had no idea whether it mattered if I had breakfast or not. My hunger was rising much slower than normal, but there was absolutely nothing wrong with bacon and eggs and it at least made me feel human. Even if I couldn't buy enough of it to satisfy my powers.

While I thought about it, I should probably think about nutrition too. What did my powers want me to eat? How was I supposed to be able to tell? I was guessing that tasty things were probably not poisonous but I had no idea. Powers didn't generally try to kill their owners, right? I had absolutely no clue how resistant to poisoning I was now, but I was really hoping my powers knew what they were doing. The PRT Pamphlet and PHO said that capes would have power related urges so I supposed it would probably be fine, but I couldn't help being a bit nervous about it anyway. Whenever I wasn't hungry at least.

I'd always thought getting powers would make things different. That I would be a hero and fly out to save people, somehow be someone different. And maybe I had thought about Emma, everyone looking up to me too. But I didn't. I had new urges I felt somehow different, but nothing else had changed. I didn't even really want to look at the heroes right now. Some part of me might understand why, logically, but it didn't change anything about Dad.
Some part of me wished the asshole running a red light had survived the experience, just to give me some bit of satisfaction to see him suffer. But I supposed he had done an incredible job at committing suicide.

And I had some nice breakfast now. Although it was odd how my definition of 'crispy' and 'crunchy' had somewhat changed, I could definitely still enjoy normal food anyway.

Maybe I was procrastinating too. I would go home again and my house would be empty, just my house now. But, I hoped, it would also still be home and it wasn't as if I was leaving or would never come back. I didn't think I could ever sell it even if I were legally allowed to. Going home would be good, wouldn't it? It would take me away from researching powers…. But it would also be empty.

I just had to get over myself. I couldn't keep avoiding as much as I might want to. I did want to go home, it wasn't a bad place and maybe some part of Mom and Dad was still left there. I just had to clean my dishes, put on my jacket, grab the scarf and go. I might not feel particularly cold anymore, at least my hands hadn't, but I also didn't feel like drawing attention to myself. Even imaginary attention. Not as I was now anyway. The less chance I had of anyone trying to talk to me the better, right now anyway. I slung a bag over my shoulder.

In the end I walked for much longer than I had intended or maybe I ran. As fast as I could go, until I could feel the pain in every breath. Trying to push myself forward faster, still hurt, I still felt so slow even if I was sprinting faster than I probably ever had before and even if the pain in my lungs never got worse than a bit of a sting. Breathing through my mouth but never actually becoming out of breath. I had no idea whether I would need to eat again any more quickly this way, but I didn't really care right now. I was skipping an entire stretch of bus route and Probably would be there half an hour later than I could have been, but when I finally made it up the street, I felt alive.
Walking up those all too familiar steps, skipping over the rotten one and turning the key in the lock.

Then I was home.

Everything still smelled the same, everything was still the way Mom had arranged it, the same pictures on the wall. No one had entered. No one had come here but me. I had to stand for a few minutes just to breathe in. Expecting Dad to come around a corner every minute now, even if it was morning and much too early for him to be home from work. Closing the door behind myself and walking inside, I felt like I was half dreaming. Walking somewhere sacred I didn't dare to disturb, looking at every piece of furniture and every scratch in the table as if I would never come back.

This is how it would stay. How I wanted it to always look, with everything still haphazardly strewn across the kitchen table, with the TV remote on the couch and a laundry basket next to the stairs.
How I wanted it to stay.

I had no idea when my face started feeling wet. Running my hand over the couch, looking at the clean laundry still not folded but already dry. Taking the scent in with every breath maybe more vibrant than it had ever been before. I couldn't be sure. Maybe I had just never really noticed. I was leaning against the wall.

The keening noise made me finally collapse. My keening noise. My eyes starting to force themselves shut. It just felt so heavy. So empty and so very much not. I could still smell Dad. Try to tell myself I could just wait and Dad would come back home and we would start talking again, but it wasn't working. It didn't matter how close he felt. How close Mom felt here, like I could just reach out. It didn't. No matter how much I wished it did, no matter how I could vaguely hear the fridge humming from the kitchen and see warm everything still felt and could see Dad's laundry in the basket.

He wouldn't come back.

Home would never be the same again. The utilities would have to be turned off and the warmth would go away. No matter where I went, there was just no point in having two houses. In leaving it on and just stand empty at least until winter. Until now. When I at least had some excuse of not wanting the pipes to burst and make everything rot away.

But it didn't matter. It didn't matter if I kept the house as some stupid memento, they wouldn't come back. And this was the only thing I had left. Empty and fading and probably warm for the last time in a long time.
I couldn't bring myself to look at the pictures or care about the tears hitting the floor now or sinking into my sleeves. I didn't even really feel cold anymore. Just so empty.

I had no idea how long I spent on the floor. I didn't even know hope I got there or Why this of all things suddenly made me gasp for breath. I didn't want to get up. The floor was still warm. Still smelled like home, still good. The wood felt good against my face, wet but good, and if I could I would have tried to pull it even closer. Everything was wet now but I still didn't care. If I weren't so awake I probably would just have slept.

The pain wouldn't go away, I couldn't escape, I couldn't run , I couldn't sleep, and I couldn't even end everything. Mom and Dad would never have wanted me to, but they weren't here anymore. I just still couldn't give up. For some stupid reason that part of me was still refusing like it wasn't even a real option! Because I was still alive even if I had no idea what I would even live for.

What I would do.

I didn't feel like much of a hero. I didn't feel like much of anything really.

But some stupid part of me still thought I was better. And maybe it was right. I had powers. I had no idea how they worked or what was up with the food, but I had powers and I could do something and I refused to give up. I would have liked to think that Mom and Dad would have been proud of me. Would be proud of me at some point.

I just had to figure out how to be a Hero.



Which meant closing my eyes and getting off the floor. There were things I needed to pick up. Clothes, toiletries. I would have to empty the fridge. Turn down the heaters until they were set to only just high enough not to let the pipes freeze over. Take care of everything that would spoil. Take care of the garden and the lawn and make sure the Gangs knew it wasn't abandoned. Would never be abandoned. I would take my school supplies too. Just put them all into my schoolbag and started going through my drawers.

The determination helped. Knowing what I was going to do helped.

Even if every bit of Dad's favourite mustard I ate reminded me of him, it had to go. As did our bacon, the pickles, jam… everything inside our small freezer. And I was eating all of it. Cooking what needed to be cooked as much like Mom would have done as I could manage. But I ate the plastics containers too. And the paper and the glass and what little metal there was as well. They just added more flavour. And I kept eating even when I stated getting close to being full, I still had to keep going. Even when I felt more than just full. It had to go. And it was like a ritual, taking care of things.

Making sure everything was where it was supposed to be. Cleaning up after myself. Unplugging the fridge because I knew it would just cost more money I didn't have or may well need for something else if I got any assistance from the PRT. I knew I would be coming back. I would have to come back, be it to explore and see what was hidden away in the basement or the attic or to take care of things or just to be here, but I would be coming back. And I also felt overstuffed, felt that there was too much material and my power was having trouble processing it all, but I had to.

Just like I had to pack my bags and just like I would have to make a decision soon enough.

Maybe I would even come back to see whether anything in the basement was tasty, we had so much scrap, just broken electronics down there,m not to mention anything Dad had needed for some building project he never got around to, gardening tools, anything that wouldn't fit upstairs and was rarely ever needed. I didn't think Dad had touched the grill in over a year. But for now I should go.



I would:
[ ] Go back to Kurt and Lacey's and try to make dinner.
[ ] Go back to Kurt and Lacey's and go for a walk until they get back.
[ ] Go back to Kurt and Lacey's and give in to my urge to sleep. I had no idea what delaying it too much would do. (Dinner conversations becomes moved to morning)
[ ] Take the long way, your bags are a bit unwieldy but they don't really weigh much to you.
[ ] Stay at the house and… (write in)

Once I was back, I would see where after dinner conversation would take us but maybe I should start talking about a few of those things now, even if it would hurt.
[ ] Alan Barnes and what to do about this situation
[ ] The PRT and how to deal with power testing or whether I should go at all and what to do afterwards.



Hunger: 120/100
Humanity: 70/100
(options not chosen can probably be taken again at some later point, you can start giving me suggestions for interludes and I hope the next posts will be much less depressing, but this needed to be gotten out of the way.)

Cracks 1.9


[x] Go back to Kurt and Lacey's and give in to my urge to sleep. I had no idea what delaying it too much would do.
[x] Alan Barnes and what to do about this situation



No. I just felt too full. Too strange. It didn't hurt, it just felt weird. Off and distracting. I was still content, but this time I could something else going on. Falling asleep right then and there definitely sounded like a good idea too, but that had happened before and I knew I could put it off. I just had no idea what putting it off did or what my body needed so much sleep for.

I got back as fast as I could. Taking the bus all the way because while I might be able to run faster, I definitely couldn't keep up with a car and it wasn't as if the bus route would take me through downtown. Even if it did, it wasn't late enough to make walking the faster option yet. I almost fell asleep. When I was walking, I could keep myself awake just fine, but sitting around and just trying to pass time made the urge almost overwhelming. I might even have given in if I weren't aware of how many things could go wrong with that idea. Without considering how long I might end up asleep for.

So staring at other passengers and standing despite the free seats it was. With my dark jacket and the scarf covering my face, I was almost invisible. Combined with jeans and sneakers might as well have been the default outfit and not enough people cared to wear anything else for anyone to have a chance at identifying me. Even if my hair was spilling out of my hood. It was strange and reassuring at the same time, I could have been anyone and no one would have cared and was probably the best shot at invisibility I would get outside of actual Stranger powers, but if I disappeared no one would care either. They couldn't see how weird I felt, like I was part of them, just one more person moving about the city, but also not. I had powers and no one could see me or cared. Full as I was, I felt weirdly distant.

From them and through the glass also from the rain outside.

I filed the mystery away for another time as soon as I got off. At least walking seemed to help. I might be able to make dinner like this and still talk, but I had no idea what not listening to my power's ideas would do and until I could find out more, it might just be better to sleep.

The last thing I clearly remembered doing was to leave a note on the table and dropping the bags off. After that I started giving in, drifting through my routine already half asleep. I was gone as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Drifting.

Dreaming.

This time, when I woke up, I at least remembered that much. I had been dreaming. And the dreams were important somehow, but I still couldn't remember, as if I was still too far away somehow. Wiped away as soon as I woke up, fading back into wherever they came from and leaving me to stare at a blurry ceiling. A look to the side and some squinting told me it was half past six. Over twelve hours again. I wasn't even surprised anymore. I just really hoped I could find some kind of solution. I would have to go on PHO again, I couldn't keep going like this.

At least Kurt and Lacey shouldn't have left yet. I reached for my glasses and put them on. Maybe the weirdness from yesterday had decided to go away and my eyes would be just fine now. I had no idea what caused the weird blurriness back then but…

No. Apparently not. In fact, things had only gotten worse, because I could see exactly as well with my glasses as I could without.

I checked.

I could still walk around without running into anything, but reading was going to be difficult and no amount of squinting or waiting seemed to fix it either. On the other hand, I could read without my glasses. It was difficult sure, but I could. Somehow. Read without my glasses.

…

It took a moment, then I jumped out of bed.

Tossed the covers aside like they didn't weigh anything at all. Yesterday I'd felt light, off by a bit somehow, but today I was even lighter. Everything felt lighter. Like I could just reach over and concentrate and I would crush the wood without even trying. I'd been a brute before but things just seemed to get easier. I didn't know why but I had felt faster yesterday too, like the exhaustion meant even less. I didn't dare try how high I could jump. Just looked down at my arms,. My hair. And they looked a bit different too.

Staring at myself in front of a mirror, even with my impaired vision, vision that was suddenly a lot less impaired than it should be I was starting to realise, I could still sort of see it. I had always been skinny, but I wasn't athletic. Not even after summer camp. I'd always spent more time with books than outside, but now I could see the beginnings of muscles. Just starting to show up. I could feel them too, more than I'd ever had before, building up under my skin.
Actually, I was so glad that I would be able to wear long sleeves at school because that would be difficult to explain. Even if I wasn't sure anyone would care to look.

Hopefully it would be done with my eyes soon. Right now, my glasses didn't even help. I might as well get the tangles out of my hair and go downstairs without them. I thought I could hear Kurt and Lacey talking downstairs and they seemed concerned, even if I couldn't pick out exact words.

I was still clumsy, still felt clumsy, getting dressed and staggering downstairs, but I suddenly had a fairly good idea what my body and power were doing while I was asleep and I was slightly afraid to see the end result.
When I got to the bottom of the stairs I froze. The conversation had stopped and I had no idea what I was supposed to say. "Um… Good morning? Sorry I just fell asleep."

Lacey still looked worried, but Kurt smiled after a moment. "A little more warning would have been nice but I don't blame you. It's your powers making you sleep again is it?"

I supposed I shouldn't have been surprised they figured it out. Or maybe just guessed because almost nobody slept over twelve hours every day. I just nodded, my eyes entirely too attracted to Lacey's eggs on toast. It would have been too much to ask to just be less hungry today, wouldn't it? "Yeah… it's whenever I eat too much or maybe just eat enough I think. I just feel like I need to sleep." And there was one very obvious way to test this. One very obvious way you were not at all keen to try. "I'm hoping it's just for a while." Really really hoping on that front. Not just because of how much I slept, if you just kept changing, what sort of end result were my powers trying to get?
Lacey swallowed. "I don't know about that. The PRT said that most of the changes regarding powers would probably be permanent, but maybe you could try eating to just below what you see as full? Unless there's something I'm not seeing."

"Maybe. I'm hoping it's just making some changes? I can sort of see without my glasses now and I definitely couldn't yesterday."

She didn't seem convinced. "They were almost certain you had some kind of healing ability in the hospital. This could just be some kind of delayed side effect."

"Or it's doing both. Changing and healing just one faster than the other." Kurt was scratching at his beard and definitely fully awake now.

"And you're thinking building something new takes longer than just fixing it and she can't do it while she's awake?"

Kurt nodded. I sank into a chair and smiled slightly, because I could at least tell myself that made sense and hope it was the right explanation. I wanted powers,, but I also wanted to not spend most of my day asleep for the rest of my life. Then I remembered I hadn't actually gotten myself anything to eat. Or even a glass or a plate.

When I came back from the kitchen, they were both looking at me. And I was fairly sure one of them has spotted the small amount of extra muscle. Maybe it was my expression or the way I was trying to hide while simultaneously being annoyed I was trying to hide of all things that did it, but neither of them said anything about it. "I'm hoping it'll be better in a week." Or at least something would have happened by then to let me get an estimate of how long it would take.

I sat down before I said anything else. I knew they were still somewhat worried, but they didn't say anything and I was grateful for it. There was one more thing I still didn't want to talk about. Unfortunately, I would also have to, before anything else could be taken care of. I closed my eyes and just breathed. I was just talking to Kurt and Lacey. Emma wasn't here. And I wasn't afraid. Or Maybe I was, but I wouldn't just be cowed. I refused to back down. Even if I was shaking.

So I forced myself to relax.

"You said Mr. Barnes was offering to let me stay with them?" Just breathe. If it were before, I probably wouldn't have been able to talk about it, but now I was still pushing forward. Something inside was still pushing. I had decided I would talk to them about it and I would. "I… Emma has been refusing to talk to me ever since I got into Winslow." Which was months ago. "I'm not sure what would happen if I tried or what happened to her but she was just... different." If it were Emma from before the summer vacation, you would have loved to move in with her, but now you had no idea. "And… We should probably talk about what happens now."
Lacey nodded.

Kurt sighed. "We'll have to talk to Alan. I'm not saying you're wrong, but he's worried about her too. Probably knows what's going on but he didn't say. You know you can always stay here. We wouldn't have you stay anywhere you don't want to and I'm not just saying that because of Danny either." Although you were sure you just put more strain on them they hadn't complained yet. I was sure I just made things more complicated for them, they hadn't complained yet. And I would try to make it as easy as possible. "I know he'd like you to stay with them, probably because of his daughter and he's helping because Danny was his friend too." He carefully started drinking his coffee.
I just didn't know what to say. Everything was swimming in front of my eyes and getting even blurrier. Wiping them with my sleeve could only do so much.

"And you've asked Emma and I'm assuming she hasn't said anything?" Kurt might be leaning back, willing to let it go, but Lacey was watching me. I wouldn't say she looked worried, but she was definitely paying attention.
I could just shake my head. "Unless you're counting 'get out of my way' and 'Go away'. She's got this new friend, who really doesn't like me." And I'd never even met the girl before. I was almost certain she was running into me on purpose. The only good thing was that nobody but Emma and maybe Madison seemed to like her either. "She always looks so tired in school too." I could understand why Mr. Barnes was worried actually. I just didn't know what to do about it. Something must have happened, but Emma definitely wasn't willing to talk. "Did he, does he have any idea what happened to her?"

"He didn't say, but he also didn't seem to be trying to find out why, so I'm guessing he does. I would have asked if I knew, but it might be better if you ask him yourself and try to explain it. You can always stay here, but Emma has been your friend for years, hasn't she? If you give him that explanation he might be willing to talk about it." She paused. "We're going to have to worry about your powers too. I think he might suspect, but even if you managed to figure it out, you can't expect them not to notice right now."

Lacey was right there too. I would have to figure out where and how to get my food somewhere else and I would need to explain my sleeping patterns if I wanted to have any chance of success. But what would they think? What would Emma think? Sophia would call me weak, but I was pretty sure I was much stronger than her now. What would Mr. Barnes think? He might be guessing, actually there was one thing I had to ask. "Did the PRT give him those pamphlets too?"

She shook her head. "We only got them once it was clear that you would be coming home with us and emphasized that they didn't have a conformation, only what they were calling enough suspicion to give us the material."
Kurt coughed. "I would bet they've got you down as Parahuman, but until you do something illegal they can't do anything. And If your mom was right not even then unless they catch you in the act if you're wearing a costume. Unless you do something worse than the gangs."

"...What?"

"You've never wondered, why they're not trying to get at the gang leaders without their masks? They're either so incompetent you don't have to worry or there's something else going on." he finished his coffee. And I knew which theory he was behind.

Even if it made absolutely no sense to me. Why didn't they try to just arrest them?

I definitely had to do even more research now.

Lacey sighed. "Either way, I wouldn't be worried about that right now. Mr. Barnes probably has some suspicion too and he was fairly persistent and you'll have to choose. Unless you don't think you can do it, we should probably have a meeting at least with him, tomorrow would probably be best, if not today and try to sort the legal problems out some more. But if you don't want to tell him about your powers, I'm not going to say anything and I don't think Kurt is either."

Kurt smiled. "So what's your plan for today?"



Well.
[ ] I had just found out you needed to do even more research. I should probably do that.
[ ] We should set up that meeting with Mr. Barnes, today preferably.
- [ ] Tell him about your powers.
- [ ] Don't tell him about your powers.
[ ] I should go looking for more things to eat or things to do. We were going to test what I could do tonight so I wasn't sure how much was really needed, but just going out would be good too. Maybe I just wanted a walk. Going back home again would hurt too much right now.
[ ] Read, cook, just make sure I had a really nice dinner for them ready once they got back. I would be cooking anyway, but I might as well try to make it as good as I possibly could.
[ ] Write in.




Hunger: 50/100
Humanity: 70/100
Hunger and humanity are percentile.
I might have written this slightly drunk. Sorry about that.

edit: I am also still looking for interlude suggestions.
edit2: if anyone is confused with vote options or anything else, you can ask me questions about things, I just won't necessarily answer.