Shimmer, Glimmer, & Gleam - A Quest of Loss & Gain

The next shift will be getting out of the showers soon, and...well.

"I'm going to go check on the girls," you tell Garnet. "Do you need anything?"

"Nothing you can provide at the moment," Garnet says offhandedly. "...Good luck."

Yeah. Good luck. You say your prayers silently while you and Garnet share a brief hug, and then you skitter carefully back towards the warehouse. People have gotten good at giving you a wide berth, but you're faster than the average two-legged human and this relationship goes two ways, y'know? No need to bowl people over. You're just in time to help lay out breakfast yourself after you wash your hands, which you do before you get yourself lunch and - there they are, the next six. Topaz, Amethyst, Shondra (a stage name taken from a famous actress who shares Shondra's gorgeous natural hair), Glitter, and Jasper. They seem pleasantly surprised to see you, but you can see they haven't slept well. Red eyes, exhausted expressions...Glitter won't stop rubbing her forearm with her hand, and she picks around her food, avoiding looking at the small stack of bills she needs to live.

Not for the first time you wish someone better could be there for them, not like, a better person, but someone better-trained who still understood. Some kind of, you don't know, therapist spider, or a more educated Cathar than you, or...

Something.

But they have you. So you say some pleasantries and get those pleasantries back while you sit near Glitter, and you smile kindly at her. It's the smile that does it; she breaks down crying, and while the others look away, trying to keep themselves together, you touch her shoulder and invite her, as best she can, to lean against you.

It really does not escape you that Glitter's body is the one that displays marks of home and family and children.

"Let it out," you murmur. "You don't need to be strong right now, let it out..."

"I d-don't w-wanna fucking be strong," Glitter bawls. "I w-wanna be NORMAL!"

Everyone goes. Real quiet. Shondra sets her plate down and quietly says: "Tough shit," before being the first to leave. One by one the others also go, and your heart hurts as you're left alone with Glitter, who bawls against you and shoves her food away...

"Alright Glitter," you murmur. "We're spending the day together. You need to touch grass." She gives you an offended look, which was your goal - her shaking breaths are a different quality as you just sideswipe her spiral of negative emotions. "So much grass, Glitter."

"Diamond, I don't need to t-touch fucking grass."

"You know where I can find grass that fucks? And you've been holding out?" She laughs against her will, and you press your forehead to hers. "Come on. I'll take responsibility"

We're going to...
[ ] Go pray Nope. Glitter is an old-school worshiper, no need to...well, no need to dig up old fights.
[ ] Go for a walk. It should be safe, right? We'll find somewhere high up to look at the world.
[ ] Spend some time fishing. It worked when your dad tried it on you, right?
[ ] Spend some time people watching

So in the nature of warehouses, the 'back' door is sized for people with what you're increasingly thinking of as the 'human classic' body plan. However, your new community had kindly agreed to your quiet requests to not have facilities facing towards a set of the loading doors, and that means there's a private place to leave from, at least as long as the electricity lasts. You want to lead Glitter by the hand but that just ends in a tangle of legs and torsos hitting the floor, so...

Still, you stay alongside her, and you lead her out into the docks, stopping only to let her wash her face.

"Look at me, not at them," you advise Glitter as the two of you step outside. "...Nightmares again?"

She sighs; one of her hands rests on a knee, going up and down with the motions of the arachnid leg. Glitter isn't looking at the other people, and she's not looking at you; she's mostly looking at the ground. "...No. Not new ones anyway. I know what you're trying to do."

"Fascinating, I don't." Glitter scoffs. "I don't! What makes you think I have enough brains in my head to have an evil scheme?"

"Bold words from the woman who cleans up every poker night with 'I'm not a bimbo, I just play one on stage'," Glitter shoots back, finally looking at you with a defiant expression. That's better. You flash her a guilty grin as the two of you pass by the sentries at the edge of the young settlement you call home for now, and head out towards the pickets. You've got a spot in mind. "You're gonna give me some big speech about how I'm still beautiful and I'm no less a woman now and all that shit, but I dunno if you've noticed, women don't generally need to lay their eggs in other women. We're monsters, Diamond."

"You want me to reply to that now or after we're past the pickets?"

She makes an 'oof' kinda noise. "After, after. Sorry."

"Hey, it's your ass you're showing to the world," you say with a shrug and a playful smile. "You're fine, Glitter. I ain't mad. Just worried."

Your destination is a radio tower, for communicating with ships in the harbor. It stays in sight of the pickets, who are well used to you spending alone time up there. The standard cautions are given, the standard thanks are returned. One of the younger girls, maybe seventeen and clutching her rifle uncertainly, blushes when you smile at her and turns her head away; Glitter looks uncomfortable, and why not? No one has forgotten that all of you used to be sex workers, objects of desire when people are in a certain frame of mind. You don't mind turning that glamour to your advantage, but that was never Glitter, who hated being recognized off the job, who always wore a wig on stage.

The two of you climb up in silence and hook your legs around the metal.

"Okay," Glitter says. "Get it out the way. How am I still a normal girl?"

"You're not," you tell her, flatly. "...I'm gonna tell you something my dad told me. Alright? So try to keep a respectful tongue. I don't know if he's alive or dead and I can't afford to worry about it, so you're gonna say nice things or keep his name out your mouth."

Glitter stares at you, and then gives you a quiet nod. It's not an unusual experience in this community. A lot of people are missing loved ones, and not going out to try and rescue them. How would all of you even count the dead? Anyone who got glassed and was out in the street got killed by that storm. This city is a mass grave now.

"...You've got two options," you tell her quietly. "You can live or you can die. You're gonna want to pick one on purpose. Not 'I don't want to die', but 'I want to live'. I put on a brave face, sure, I was the first one of us to wake up and I had to be the ambassador and yeah I kinda love being this now. I do. I really do. But I wouldn't have if I didn't decide, on purpose, that I want to live. Maybe someone can change your body again later, but if you're in a world where no one can, where you're what you are forever, do you still want to live?"

Silence. Absolute silence. You kinda expected that, so you gesture out at the city. "The dogs are made of glass now. The crows have feathers made of tarnished silver. A bunch of the engineers have visible brains! It's weird! Garnet's dating a guy like that! We're all different kinds of monster now, and...I'm sorry, I really am sorry, that your kind isn't a kind you like. But that doesn't change the options on the table. Live or die, Glitter. I'd prefer you live. I like you. I want you to be happy. But I don't have to be the one living your life, do I?"

"No," Glitter mutters, breathlessly.

"I'll be upset if you decide to die. But I can't stop you. I won't even try." You lean your face against the cold metal of the tower, and look out towards downtown, where Dad worked. Where he might be still.

So...
[ ] I'll leave you be. Let you think.
[ ] Let's head back, when you're ready. If you don't mind me making some arguments for the benefits of living.