You were going to try to save Jesse. He was meant to be one of Xander's friends. His death had heavily impacted Xander. You had taken Xander's place, so it was only right that you did your best to save the guy from being turned into a vampire. You carefully planned out how you were going to approach this. You would do your best to be in the library to "eavesdrop" on Buffy and Giles to learn about vampires. When you all went to the Bronze to hang, you would make up an excuse that you wanted to stick close to Jesse and Willow, a hangout for just you guys.
Once you all helped Buffy stop the Harvest ritual to free the Master, you could talk to Willow about how you were changing and needed some time to think. With the big change in reality Willow would easily agree, and you could just be yourself as her friend. Anxiously you hoped that Willow wouldn't dislike new Xander too much. Once that had passed, you could start figuring out how you'd track down news of what was going on around Sunnydale.
Your plan seemed great, no major flaws. You weren't going to lie, beyond not being Xander, and you'd get a chance to help everyone do better than they had in the show. You even planned to avoid Xander's mistakes. That alone would help to untangle a fair amount of things. And if you were lucky, Anya was a very beautiful woman with a lot of experience. Perfect to end up with.
Your plan lasted all the way to school when you saw Buffy for the first time and was hit in the face with how incredibly hot she was.
That was not something you had expected. Yes, Buffy was beautiful. Yes, she was extremely attractive. But that should not have caused you to slam right into a pole! You were really glad that Buffy didn't seem to notice you at all. Oh sure, some people laughed at you, but that was pretty much par for the course for someone like Xander. It did sting, but at least you could pretend they were laughing because of Xander's goofiness and not because you had completely messed up.
It didn't take long for you to realize that there was a very major kink in your plan, and it wasn't Buffy. No, it was being a teenager again. You had forgotten just how easily it was to get turned on. It felt like you were constantly being hit in the face with the need to jerk it off and being distracted. You had been able to accept being attracted to Buffy, and Cordelia was somewhat expected as well, but Harmony? Cordelia's utterly brainless lackey?
You were utterly exhausted by the time lunch arrived. Had you heard anything that was said in your classes so far? How had Xander managed to not be completely red from embarrassment all the time? Right, he was used to this. You on the other hand, had suddenly found yourself dunked back into the horrors of puberty with no warning. You really had to find a way to pull yourself together!
"Hey, my man!" Jesse clapped a hand on your back. "Heard the news? There's a new girl!"
"Yeah, what's the word?" you asked blankly.
Jesse shrugged. "New girl."
You chuckled. "Really? Everyone knows that. Seen her at all?"
"Nah, not yet. You?"
You looked away. "Saw someone new when getting here, but that's it." You stood up. "Gotta pick up some books from the library. Willow promised to help me study." Jesse laughed and waved you off.
You did your best to hide in the stacks. Thankfully Giles was far more focused on his Slayer than any of the students milling around. He didn't realize that there was anyone still in the library when Buffy entered. Your throat entered your mouth again when you saw her and you quickly ducked back. You just needed to focus. Vampires. That was far more important than wanting to stare at Buffy's curves.
At least you had your reason for knowing set now. You were really relieved when school ended and you got to go home. This was not how you had thought it would go. How were you going to handle these...these...reactions? You were used to being cool and in control, not letting hormones jerk you all over!
Buffy was really hot...
No, don't think about it!
>>>
You got pulled into the rhythm of school all over again far too fast. Granted you were struggling to focus whenever there was a remotely pretty girl around, but you thought that you were starting to get it. At least no one expected anything of you. Xander was a complete loser through and through after all, only passing because Willow had taken pity on him and Jesse since they were childhood friends. The good news was the Bronze was tonight, and things would start setting up for the Harvest. A corpse had already been found in the school, though it was shockingly easy for you to not think about when there were so many other things going on. Part of it was likely that everyone else had already moved on from it. It was just a slight blip in normal life.
You had tried to convince Jesse and Willow to stay close, but Willow had ended up inviting Buffy along and was focusing on girl things with her, and Jesse wanted to dance with hot girls, not stick with you. He even found you a dance partner, which was pretty cool of Jesse, really. If it wasn't getting in the way of keeping him alive.
It was only when you saw Willow leaving with a guy that you recalled yourself. You were quick to excuse yourself and start following after her. Willow was rather naive at this time, afraid of breaking rules, and you knew she'd be terrified when she realized she was being herded off to a dark corner. You did your best to run after them and called for Willow. She turned around in surprise. "Xander?"
"Hey, why're you cutting out on the Bronze?" you asked. You gave a grin. "Where's Buffy, wasn't she with you?"
"She said she had something to do," Willow said. She glanced at the vampire beside her awkwardly, clearly unsure how to explain this to her crush.
"Ah, I see. So she's not with you?"
"No," Willow said slowly.
"And Jesse's gone too," you complained.
Willow quickly crossed over to you. The vampire frowned but let her, trying to stay subtle. "Hey, we can still have fun," Willow promised.
"Yeah." You grinned and gave a quick scan. Where was Jesse?
Just in time you spotted Buffy up ahead. "Wait, isn't that Buffy?" Excuse in hand you dragged Willow with you into the graveyard. Sure enough, there was Buffy fighting vampires. You looked around desperately and spotted Jesse. "Jesse!" You darted over to him. "What happened man?"
"Girl's crazy about me," Jesse said hazily. He had a hand clamped to his neck, and didn't look very good.
You hurriedly pulled him up. "Come on man, let's get out of here." Willow looked just as concerned, clinging to your other side tightly. Unfortunately that was just when more vampires turned up. Their demonic features were in full view as they started circling around.
"Where do you think you're going?" A beautiful voice asked. You glanced over and spotted Darla watching. "Take them, boys!" The vampires launched forward. Willow screamed and ran, a terrible move that split you up. Not that you actually had that much of a chance anyways, it seemed. Buffy was working through the group, but you could barely see her fighting as two vampires dogpiled on you and started dragging you somewhere. You yelled and struggled, but it felt like iron was clamped around you instead of flesh. How did original Xander ever manage?
Buffy was suddenly there, dusting the two vamps and helping you up. "Get out of here!" she told you.
"Wait! Willow and Jesse are here!"
Buffy huffed and turned back to the vampires. You heard Willow scream and ran to get her with Buffy. You were far too slow, but at least you were there to give Willow a hug as Buffy killed the ones attacking her. That left just Jesse. You started looking for him, but- the vampires were gone, and so was he.
No, this wasn't supposed to happen. Wait, you knew where the entrance was! You hurried over to the crypt and started pushing at the stone lid.
"What are you doing?" Buffy asked.
"Hidden passage here," you huffed as you pushed. "Maybe-maybe they ducked down here and took Jesse."
Buffy quickly moved over and threw the lid you had struggled against aside. You jumped down and looked around. Buffy followed.
"This way," Buffy said. She ran, and you followed.
You caught up to her holding Jesse, and you took a deep breath of relief. You'd done it! You'd saved Jesse!
Except...Buffy looked at you apologetically. "I'm sorry."
You frowned and walked over to pull Jesse up. He dangled limply. He was colder than he should be too. "Come on, we gotta get him to a hospital."
"Xander..."
"What? We need to hurry."
"Xander. He's..."
No. Not after all of this. You'd changed fate. You looked to Jesse for reassurance, only to find his eyes closed. Okay, so he passed out. He had been hazy. You reached up to feel his breath. It wasn't there. Your breath choked. "No."
This wasn't how the story went. This wasn't how it should go at all. Jesse didn't die drained of blood. They turned him into a vampire, and then Xander accidentally dusted him.
Except you hadn't done the same things Xander had done. You had tried to stop them. You had even followed them down the secret passage!
And that had rushed them enough to make them decide to kill Jesse and drop him behind.
You looked up at Buffy numbly.
>>>
It almost felt like you were in a haze for the next couple days, forcing Buffy to admit the truth because you couldn't. Willow was quick to jump on helping Buffy, especially when the vampires trapped everyone that was at the Bronze to start sacrificing for the Master. You hurried along in a daze, glad that your actions at least hadn't changed things here. Buffy still managed to save the day, and you were looped in with Willow on the truth about Sunnydale.
You just didn't know where to go next. Could you actually change things? Or were you just imagining that you could? Willow seemed to be doing her best to move on from Jesse by clinging to Buffy. You felt guilty. You weren't Xander. You couldn't miss Jesse like he would have. But he had been your first dead body, and you had hung out at school for a bit. You were afraid that this would change things.
No, no, this was just the start. You couldn't think that way. You didn't have any training for what was going to happen. You had clearly overestimated what a regular human could do against a vampire, and what they would do. You had thought they would leave Jesse alive, not kill him. You'd made a mistake this time, but next time you would do better.
You looked at the list of events that would be coming up. The witch that took over Amy's body would be targeting the cheerleaders. Perhaps you could ask about if there was anything besides vampires that could be a problem. The praying mantis demon would be coming up too. You were a lot more nervous about that now that you were aware of how you reacted around girls. What if she completely dragged you down? You really needed a solid plan to keep from being completely pulled in!
General Actions
[ ]Ask Giles about how to stay safe
[ ]Focus on ways to keep focus around girls
[ ]Start working out
[ ]Write-in
Witch Plan
[ ]Ask about what's there beside vampires
[ ]Ask about magic
[ ]Focus on looking for other points of the supernatural around school
[ ]Write-in
Mantis Demon Plan
[ ]Ask Willow to study with you every day after school- can't meet with her if you're busy
[ ]Write a note to yourself about the demon
[ ]Wear a mask to block the pheromones
[ ]Write-in
