The Villainess wants to be a Hero

Instinctively, I move toward the girl with cat ears—because fluffy ears—but I pause before I can fully commit. This was an important decision, perhaps the most important one of my life. According to my books, my first companion—well, my first non-Markus companion—would be my most important sidekick.

They would be the one who would stick with me through thick and thin. They would be there to provide a distraction while I heroically charge in to kill an evil dragon. They would be there to gallantly sacrifice themselves so that I could thwart an overlord's wicked plot to destroy the world. Yes, my first companion was critically important because regardless of the [Hero] quest I inevitably found, they would be there to provide fun and support.

A chirp whispers in my ear. I turn to Markus and smile. "Just thinking about something."

He chirps again before flopping back to my shoulder—what a lazy little guy. I really would have to make sure he got some exercise, or he would end up being the chubby, comic-relief companion. And neither fuzzy-Markus nor real-Markus deserved that.

Still, he was right about one thing. I shouldn't be standing in the middle of the common room staring at my future companions as they did whatever it was they did. I needed to make a choice. And so, in the time-honored tradition of [Calamities] everywhere, I closed my eyes and held out my index finger.

"Eeny meeny miny moe."

I go through the rhyme three times just to be sure before opening my eyes.

A smile crosses my face as I see my new partner eating some kind of creamy dessert from a spoon animated by [Prestidigitation]. While casting a tier 0 spell wasn't that hard, using it to eat with your eyes closed was an impressive feat for someone her age.

Or maybe it wasn't. Since I was made from raw magic, I was hardly the best judge. Still, I had opened myself to Fate to choose my first companion, and Fate had led me to her, so she was clearly the right choice.

I walk quickly over to her table but wait until her spoon is firmly settled in a dark brown custard before speaking. It would have been unforgivably rude to interrupt someone while eating.

"Hi."

The blonde's eyes open slowly, revealing blue irises that shade toward purple near the pupil. Her eyes flick up and down, pausing momentarily on Markus napping on my shoulder before sliding closed again.

"Go away."

My smile widens. Her attitude was just like my older sister Soph, the [Calamity of Sloth]. I felt even more confident in my decision than I had a moment ago.

"I'm Ciel, and this is Markus."

The blonde doesn't open her eyes, but the mana animating her [Prestidigitation] unravels.

"Didn't you hear me? I said go away."

I ignore the grumpiness—my sister always sounded just like that when I tried to wake her up to play—and drag a chair over so I can sit down next to her. It would be rude to continue talking to her while standing over her.

"What's your name? I'll need to know it now that we're in a party together."

A single purple and blue eye opens and stares at me with something that might have been annoyance, but I don't let it bother me. Soph always blasted me with [Annihilation] at first, but then she'd join me on a rampage, so I knew this behavior was just for show.

"Are they really letting children into the guildhouse now? What has the guild come to?"

"The receptionist made us fill out some paperwork when I told her that neither Markus nor me had any parents, and then she let us inside."

A sigh that sounds more like a groan emanates from my partner as her feet drop from her second chair to the floor. Both eyes open up this time to stare at me with another one of those looks that my [Calamity] senses can't interpret.

"Look, kid-"

"It's Ciel, or partner if you don't want to use my name."

The blonde's eyes roll toward the ceiling before falling back to me, and an expression I recognize well flickers across her face—exasperation.

"Kid-"

"It's Ciel."

I hope I don't have to remind her too many more times about my name. Not that it mattered if she had trouble with names—my infallible memory could cover us if this weakness ever came up—but a sidekick who couldn't remember their [Hero]'s name would be kind of weird.

"Kid-"

"Ciel."

"Ugh. Fine. Ciel. I'm not looking for a partner. Especially one who isn't even officially an adventurer."

As she says that, she raises her left arm, where a bronze bracelet is loosely attached. A frown crosses my face. E-ranks were supposed to be helping put out a fire started by careless mercenaries.

"Shouldn't you be out fighting fires?"

"I had to finish my dessert first."

The blonde points to her half-empty cup of brown custard. My frown vanishes as I nod. That was a good reason. It was important to eat your food, even when it was one of those disgusting dinners my last overlord liked to serve.

"So when I officially become an adventurer, you'll accept that you're my partner?"

She would one way or another—I could be persistent when I wanted to be—but that seemed the easiest way.

The blonde's eyes narrow for a moment before widening back up. A smirk slowly unfolds across her face. "Sure, if Alis judges you to be E-rank, then I'll be your partner."

"Great," I smile happily. While I had no idea what sort of tests Alis would conduct, I was confident I could make E-rank. That just left the question of what to do while we waited for the guildmaster to return. Fortunately, I had a brilliant idea.

"While we're waiting for her to come back, we should get to know each other."

"Nope."

"Why not? Adventurers should know things about their partners."

The blonde kicks her feet back up in her chair and slumps back down. A moment later, a shaping of mana forms and wraps around the spoon sitting in her dessert. I watch as the blonde closes her eyes and then opens her mouth as her spoon approaches it.

Well, if she didn't want to share anything about herself, I could start. I was the soon-to-be [Hero] after all. It was much more important that my sidekicks knew about me than the reverse.

I would have to heavily edit my history so I didn't share too much too soon—after all, me being a [Calamity] was the sort of truth that needed to be revealed late in the second act—but I was a [Calamity] and a genius and a soon-to-be [Hero]. Transforming my story into something that didn't share too much would be easier than swallowing a cow whole. And I knew exactly where to start,

"I met Markus in the forest outside of Reitzland and…"


"You should see how adorable-"

My monologue of how cute Markus looks when he gets himself tangled up in my scarf is cut off by the door to the guildhouse slamming open and dozens of soot-stained faces piling in.

Almost simultaneous to that, my partner perks up from where she'd been lounging and sighs out, "Dead Gods, finally-"

I miss the rest of whatever she would have said as my head whips around to scan the common area. Unfortunately, I don't see any of the delicious essence that I'd devoured from the [Well of Urdr]. I do, however, see a tired face that I remember releasing her 'Ultimate Attack' and how wonderfully ticklish it had been.

That was Alis, the Guildmaster. She looked a lot weaker than I remember leaning on her sword like that as she walked through the common room. I wonder what could have happened to her for a moment before my genius mind points out the obvious: someone must have taken advantage of her recovery to settle a grudge.

A frown crosses my face—that wasn't proper [Hero] or villain behavior—and I make a note for my immaculate memory to remind me to investigate further when I had the chance. But not now. I had an interview to ace and a bronze bracelet to get.

I hop up from my chair and turn toward my partner, who seems relieved for some odd reason. "I've got to go pass my interview. Don't go anywhere."

My partner gives me an idle wave with her hand to show she acknowledged the command, and I turn to scoop Markus up from the pile of scarf that he'd been napping on. He glares sleepily at me but relaxes when I place him on his perch and point out the guildmaster limping through a door off to the side. After all, I wasn't the only one who wanted to become an adventurer today.

"Bye, partner who still won't tell me her name." I wave goodbye to my partner, not waiting for a response before chasing after the guildmaster.

If I were a normal person's size, snaking my way through the suddenly noisy and crowded common area would have been difficult. I would have had to squeeze through conversations and past men and women in soot-stained clothes and armor shouting at my former guide for drinks. Fortunately, my smaller form was much smaller than these muscly men and women, so I could slip past the crowd without much trouble.

I still had some difficulty getting by a man with a huge belly, but a quick punch to his stomach opened up some space. The fight that erupted after he turned and swung at another adventurer opened up even more.

I pause as I slip through the same door the guildmaster had exited through and into a long hallway with a set of stairs at the far end and three doors on my right. A frown crosses my face—she could have gone through any of them—only to lighten as I realize that this was most certainly the first part of my adventurer's test.

After all, adventurers didn't just kill monsters and die miserably trying to challenge [Calamities]. They also explored dungeons and long-lost ruins—dungeons which were full of traps and weird rules about how to behave or how long you could stay or whatever.

Thinking about it like that, this hallway was clearly my first test of being an adventurer. I would have to have to figure out where she was without triggering the traps and spells that waited behind the wrong doors because that would undoubtedly lower my score. And I needed to do well enough to earn a bronze bracelet. My unnamed partner was relying on me to get that far. I couldn't disappoint her.

Fortunately, I had an advantage over any of the regular people who had ever tried to pass this part of the test: my [Calamity] senses. With a thought, I filtered out the sounds of the melee unfolding in the common area, and then I focused on the sound of something-

*Tap*

*Tap*

There it was. The sound of the guildmaster using her sword as a cane as she limped across a room on the second floor.

I grin and follow my ears up the stairs and toward my interview.


The door slams back on its hinges as I shove it open and quickly cover up a wince with a smile. I couldn't let the guildmaster know that I had such poor control over my strength that I would lose it every time I got a bit excited.

A tanned face ringed by falls of blonde hair so pale that it almost looked silver looks up. A silvery eyebrow twitches slightly, and the guildmaster slips whatever paper she'd been reading into a drawer on her desk. Dark green eyes narrow as she stares at me, but she doesn't say anything or beckon me inside at all.

I was almost confused by the lack of welcome, but instead, my genius mind pokes at me, and I realized this was another test. What kind, though, wasn't clear to me. Maybe it was a test of manners? With the way she was starting to glare at me, I didn't think that was right, but since I didn't even know there would be a test, I was clearly the wrong [Calamity] to ask. Still, since I didn't have a better idea, I decided to put on my best smile and raise my hand in a cheerful wave.

"I'm Ciel, and this is Markus." I gestured to Markus, who was hiding behind my hair and shivering softly. "We're here for our adventurer test."

"Leah did say we had a new applicant."

The guildmaster's glare relaxes into a stare—a clear sign that I'd passed this test. She rubs her forehead and mutters something that sounds like, 'At least this'll be better than writing up another damned report.'

With a grunt, she stands, her left hand grasping out for the hilt of her cane, and smiles tiredly. "I'm Alis, master of Dynegard's branch of the Adventurer's Guild."

I nod but don't tell her that we've already met. That was one of my [Calamity] secrets, after all. Plus, I didn't think she'd recognize me in this form anyway.

Instead, I respond with, "Dynegard's my favorite continent. It's got mountains and forests and rivers."

"Heh, that it does, Ciel. Follow me, and we'll get you sorted into my guild in a minute." My smile widens when she uses my name, and I step behind her as she leads us back down to the first floor.

She pauses in front of the door to the common area to look in and shout, "If you all don't sit down and shut the fuck up in five seconds, you won't live to regret it."

I peek in under her shoulder as the melee within stops mid-swing. An instant later, overturned chairs and tables are set right-side up. A moment later than that, everyone is seated with their hands placed firmly in their laps. My former guide looks over at us with a relieved smile.

I wave at her and then poke my head a bit further in to wave at my lounging partner. She doesn't even lift her head from her chair, but that didn't bother me. I was just happy to see she'd stayed out of the melee. Adventuring parties were supposed to share everything, and it would have been quite rude for her to join in a fight like that without me.

"Let's go," The guildmaster puts a hand on my shoulder and directs me down the hallway. "My adventurers are good people, but they're also idiots, so you have to treat them like that every once in a while to remind them."

I nodded. My eldest sister said the same thing about her lackeys.

I wait as the guildmaster opens a door that reveals a wood-covered room lined on all four sides by racks of weapons. She steps in, and I follow behind her until we stop at the dead center of the room.

"I'll test you first, Ciel, if that's ok with you and Markus."

She raises a pale eyebrow in question, and I turn toward Markus. He chirps softly and hops down from my shoulder.

I unwind my new scarf from my neck and drape it over him, grinning happily as he swims through the fabric before his furry little head pops free. He gently grabs it between his teeth and scampers over to a corner of the room. Once I see that he's comfortably ensconced in his scarf-fort, I turn back to the guildmaster and smile.

"Ok, we're ready."

"Good." She nods before pulling a small silver ring topped by a perfectly round red gemstone out of her pocket. "Your paperwork said you didn't have a class, but do you mind if I use this to cast a quick [Appraise] and double-check?"

"Nope." I shake my head, thankful I'd decided to seal away my [Calamity] powers. This might have gotten awkward otherwise.

"Hmm… no class, but you've got [Enhanced Strength], [Thick Skin], and [Superior Hearing]." She pauses to remove her ring and tucks it away in a pocket. "That's quite an impressive spread of skills for a beginner. Make sure you don't rely on them too heavily, though. I've seen far too many adventurers die because they relied on their Skills rather than their skills."

I nod my agreement. That made sense to me. Even with all my [Calamity] skills, I'd nearly died trying to consume the [Well of Urdr].

"Good. I'd hate to see you leave your friend Markus behind because you bit off more than you could chew."

While eating had never been a problem for me, I nodded again. After all, she was my guildmaster now, and it was important to listen when she spoke.

"Ok, that's my lecture out of the way. Now, how about you pick out a weapon, then we'll see about getting you your first class."

She smiles softly as she sees a frown cross my face. "Don't worry too much about it, Ciel. You'll have plenty of time to change, consolidate, or evolve your class as you get more experienced. The most important thing at this point is to pick something that resonates with you."

I knew I wanted to be a fighter, a specific kind of fighter called a tank—named after the sound an arrow made when it bounced uselessly off a brick wall—because I wanted to stand at the front of a party and soak up damage. Other than that, I wasn't sure exactly which kind of tank I wanted to be. So, knowing that I wouldn't be stuck with a class I later found out I didn't want was a relief.

Still, my guildmaster had told me to pick up a weapon I resonated with, and a bunch of weapons lined the walls that matched my goal of becoming a tank. All I had to do was pick one.

[] With sword and shield, I would walk the path of the [Paladin]. I would be a steel wall to guard my party members, and as I grew stronger, I would tap into light magic to heal the wounded.

[] With axe in hand, I would walk the path of the [Berserker]. I would drive my enemies before me through the force of my rage, and as I grew stronger, my skin would become like adamant.

[] With greatsword bared, I would walk the path of the [Blademaster]. I would use skill and speed to vanquish my foes, and as I grew stronger, I would learn to dance between raindrops.


Once I had picked my weapon and returned to the middle of the sparring room, the guildmaster looks me up and down and nods in satisfaction.

"A good choice. Now, raise your weapon and repeat after me."

I raise my weapon high, not even noticing the weight of it as I repeat the words the guildmaster

"I, Ciel, do solemnly swear to protect the weak, challenge the wicked, and explore the unknown with unwavering resolve. May my blade be ever sharp, my wits sharper, and my bonds unbreakable as I venture forth into the realm. By this oath, I am bound, united in purpose and spirit with all who share this glorious purpose."

As my words resonate through the training room, the guildmaster raises her sheathed cane and bops me lightly on my head.

[Fighter Class Obtained!]

[Fighter Level 1!]

[Skill - Basic Weapon Proficiency Gained]

After I received my new class, I spent a few minutes sparring with the guildmaster. I think I did well enough. I managed to knock away a few of her attacks and scramble out of the way of a few more before she finally managed to land a blow against my stomach.

After that quick spar, though, it was Markus's turn.


"Markus, is it?" The guildmaster puts her ring on once again and looks down at my furry friend with the same seriousness that she'd looked at me—and jumps up my list of favorite people to the same rank as the [Soulbound Chef] that had fed me so much delicious food. "I don't think you have the build for a fighter, but given your size, you might make quite the [Rogue]."

"Chirp."

"Indeed. Traps kill as many adventurers as monsters do."

"Do you solemnly swear to…" My mind drifts away from me as the guildmaster repeats the same oath for him as she did for me, but I return to myself in time to see my friend nod his furry head and chirp solemnly.

She bops him on the head just the same as she had me, and I watch as a shiver runs through my friend.

His fur grows darker and sleeker, and his front teeth grow a bit sharper. I'd have to ask him what class he got when I got the chance since I certainly couldn't unseal [Dissection of the Root] and check. Still, he looked happy as he did a jumping twist in front of the guildmaster before scampering back to pick up my scarf.

"Careful with the teeth. You don't want to damage it."

I call out, and Markus turns to me long enough to roll his eyes before snagging the fabric between his teeth and dragging it back to me.

"Sorry."

I apologize as I lean down to pick up the scarf. Markus waits until I've wrapped it around my neck and shoulders before he clambers up my leg and retakes his perch.

"Thanks Guildmaster. We've got to go and tell our new partner the good news."

I turn to her and smile widely before waving. Markus leans up onto his hind legs and waves as well.

"Aren't you two forgetting something?"'

I skid to a stop halfway out the door as my immaculate memory pokes at me. I spin around and see her holding up two bronze bracelets, one sized to fit around my wrist and a much smaller one for Markus.

"Normally, I'd have a bit of a ceremony for two new E-rank adventurers, but it seems you two have plans."

I race back to the guildmaster and hold out my arm, fidgeting impatiently as she wraps a bracelet around my wrist. As the latch clasps closed, I hold my wrist up to my face and stare at the bronze links wrapping around my wrist.

The guildmaster says something like, 'It's spelled to be a bit stronger than normal bronze, but it won't stop a sword strike, and it will tarnish.' and follows it up with what sounds like, 'I don't think you'll have one long enough for that to matter,' but my attention is far away.

I was an adventurer. Not only that, I'd skipped F-rank entirely. With this bracelet, the first step in my plan to become a [Hero] was complete, and waiting outside was a fellow adventurer who would help me finish my second step.

Happiness bubbles up in me and spreads across my face in a way I couldn't control, even if I had wanted to. I look up at the guildmaster and see her smiling fondly down at me. My grin stretches so wide it would have hurt if I hadn't been made from pure Wyrd.

"Thank you, guildmaster!" I shout the words as I bring my braceleted wrist down so I can cradle the bronze links with my other hand. "You won't regret this."

"I'm certain I won't, for either of you." Her smile takes in both of us, and she bumps up the list of my favorite people again until she lands in a tie with the nice old woman who gave me my new scarf. "Now, why don't you go show off to your friends and give me some time to rest."

"Ok." I beam at her and practically sprint out of the room, pausing just long enough to shout my thanks over my shoulder. I had a new party member to find.


"Do you think she got tired and went home?" I ask Markus as I stare at the vacant chairs that had once been occupied by my now-gone teammate.

"Chirp."

"You're right, I guess it is kind of late." I look around the common area, taking in how many adventurers had left after the guildmaster had made her annoyance at the noisy melee clear.

"Chirp."

I nod at Markus, "That's not a bad idea. I'm sure she lives close by."


I lean forward and knock my fist against a thick, brightly painted door in what seems to be one of the richest areas of Reitzleand.

With my perfect hearing, it hadn't taken more than a few minutes before I'd keyed into the sound of my teammate's heartbeat. I recognized it because it had this weird staccato hitch every third beat. And once I'd heard that tracking her down to here hadn't taken more than half an hour.

After a minute of listening to my teammate's unmoving heartbeat, I knock again.

And then again.

And then again.

Finally, after maybe half an hour of knocking, the door opens, and a pair of blue-fading-to-purple eyes still gummed over by sleep glare at me.

"Look. E-rank." I raise my wrist to show off my bracelet, and a beat later, Markus raises his as well.

For a long minute, my teammate is utterly silent as she stares at Markus and me. I wait patiently, holding up my arm and smiling. The door slams in my face.

I raise my hand to knock again, but before my fist hits the door, it opens again. My partner sighs, and her head falls to her chest. "I'm El."

I watch as she walks away from the door into her spacious, well-decorated townhouse and back up a flight of stairs.

I turn to Markus at the same time he turns to me, "I think that was an invitation?"

"Chirp."

I smile at the agreement and walk into my teammate's house.



[AN]
Minor editorial note. Ciel's origin has been changed from the Fae Realms to the Far Planes for a better thematic fit.