@Magoose
Never Was
When shinobi that become too dangerous settle down, they develop certain habits. Such as blaming Danzo for every little thump, frog croak, and bird song in g# at midnight. Danzo is always out there after all! A shinobi has to be prepared for Danzo.
Shining far above Shiro's head was a bright crescent moon with her vanguard of twinkling stars.
"MISTRESS OF A THOUSAND WINTERS! I HAVE COME TO BARGAIN!" shouted Shiro Hyuuga with hands clasped near his mouth to project his voice. A trail of destruction could be seen in his wake leading to the front door mansion of Ayako Kurama, ex-missing Konoha ninja. Long grooves of freshly turned dirt covered barely visible corpses of dead rodents of unusual size, cats larger than most men are tall, birds that had given their very best attempt at flying with chakra tags primed to explode.
A shinobi had passed through the front yard of a dangerous woman, at near midnight. Someone liked to live dangerously, one day their shrine would say 'Dumb Swan flew too close to Mama Tiger's mouth'.
Ayako Kurama opened her door. Death stared into the face of Shiro Hyuuga. Three sets of eyes narrowed.
"Speak minion, or die," spoke Death.
"AM I NOT YOUR FAVOURITE MINION?" The charcoal spoke. Death waved her hands, reality caved.
"
AM I NOT YOUR FAVORITE MINION?" The charcoal whispered.
"
You are here." Ayako handsigned, as Kagami spoke, "
Rude, I was sleeping."
Shadows writhed into shapes that broke the minds of lesser animals.
"Tsunade's spy network in Konohagakure in exchange for you both exercising your body for a small amount of time at Training Ground Forty-Four in one hour to test a team of ninja traveling to the Tower in the centre as a training exercise."
Death blinked, weighing the value of the offer. Tsunade denied it's existence, repeatedly. Hired ninja denied it's existence, repeatedly. Foreign hired ninja denied it's existence, repeadedly. Foreign hired Kage denied it's existence repeatedly. Danzo denied it's existence, once. Hiruzen smiled when asked about it's existence.
"My FAVOURITE MINION!" Screamed the night in a thousand animal voices.
Dark Bargains were struck that
early morning night.
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Sounds of concrete shattering sounded out in a quiet tower, as a hole formed. A team of genin crawled out of the hole into a tower surrounded by forest.
"Shino," Hinata voiced.
Shino immediately sent out his bugs. As a member of the Aburame clan, he used insects to scout, attack, and defend himself. For the last three hours Shino and his teammates had been going through shifting terrain. Most were genjutsu as utilized by a Kurama, which almost made them indistinguishable from reality. After five minutes, they reported back.
"I believe we are in the tower," Shino reported.
Hinata flashed her byakugan, a power in the eyes native to her clan that allows a near complete 360 degree of vision.
Kiba took a long breath.
Both of Shino's teamates nodded in agreement.
"Finally! Where is our sensei?" Kiba shouted.
Shino pointed behind Kiba, to a sign congratulating them on passing the test and to meet their sensei tomorrow at Training Ground 8.
"Huh, at least going home will be easy," Kiba said.
Shino knew he would not need to explain how wrong Kiba was with that statement. The stampeding herd of giant tigers invading the tower would do that soon enough.
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"Heh," Shiro Hyuuga chuckled to himself, as he walked down the streets of Konohagakure. Those lucky genin of his were in for a hard time. Good teamwork, excellent awareness after the first fifteen failures to be aware of their surroundings, unlike some shinobi.
"I found you!" Shiro joyfully whispered to the rookie ANBU under a henge making her look like a civilian. Shiro generously performed Kai for the hide and seek player. Giving her... uhhh, huh. The woman was under a triple henge. One to make her look like a civilian, the next to make her look like a thirty year old ANBU, the third to make her look like one of the Inuzuka dogs bred for genjutsu wearing a scarf that pronounced the dog is on a training exercise.
When the henge released, Shiro was looking at a kunoichi near his age of sixteen, perhaps seventeen, with red ringed irises. Clearly of the Sarutobi clan from her chakra signature. Wore a Konoha headband and chunin flak-jacket, muscle tone and genjutsu skill indicated she was near ANBU rookie quality. Shiro had never seen her before today.
Unknown native Konoha shinobi --?
Selecting Greeting --- Kakashi, Danzo, Gai, Hinata, Council of Elders, Council of Nara, Council of Itachi...
Greeting Selected
"Hello New Friend! Want to eat food together at Akira Akimichi's store?' Shiro asked while smiling and posing just the way Kakashi's Emergency School of Facial Manipulation taught him, "I'll be buying."
"Uhhhh..." The kunoichi was at a loss for words. 'Gai's School of Tragedy' taught him well in this situation.
Shiro gently took the kunoichi by the hand, and with a light tug she was following along to Akira's bar. A nice establishment with great ambience, clean kitchens, a dedicated customer base. Close enough to a ANBU base to call for support from the ninja at the bar, or from the ANBU base.
"Great, everyone loves Konoha. We have everything. From diamonds, to paperwork, to the Green Beast. Our current hokage, Lord Third, does his best, some days it seems like a challenge to have one more day of peace, and we only need one tiny little country to go through a dramatic implosion to halt trade. Of course, our food is our greatest quality. Akimichi auditors, they run a very tight ship on our food supply." As Shiro regaled the kunoichi on the wonders of Konoha. Shiro spied one of those grimace/smiles that natives of Konoha tend to wear upon exposure to Gai. Further narrowing down who she is, and why he had never seen her before.
With both being shinobi, it wasn't long before they arrived at Akira's
"Hyuuga Shiro!" spoke Akira Akimichi in greeting. Like most Akimichi, Akira is big. Clan tattoos on the cheeks. "Who's your friend?"
"My friend just came in from one of the long term field patrols. Come on, introduce yourself Sarutobi." Shiro tapped the kunoichi on the shoulder.
"Greetings Akimichi-sama. This one is Sarutobi Mirai." she spoke. Mirai gave a stiff bow.
"Welcome to my store. Take a seat anywhere," said Akira.
"We'll have all the rice wine, with your chicken Akira. Going to have a bit of a drinking competition. Winner gets to have a blanket made by Hatake Kakashi, the man is a master at those blankets," said Shiro.
"One of the silk ones with custom illustrations?" asked Mirai.
"Yes."
Mirai's expression changed from the stiff serious one she'd been wearing since he met her to the more familiar form of a kunoichi facing impossible odds about to achieve the impossible.
Shiro and Mirai found seats at a table for four. The rest of the store was mostly empty at this time.
"So, how is your first C-Rank?" Shiro asked.
"What?" Mirai questioned with a face of puzzlement.
"The First C-Rank. The first mission to prove yourself. The one mission all shinobi across the Elemental Nations will swear up and down is cursed beyond all the hells. Yours clearly got you dimensionally displaced." Mirai's mouth started to fall. "You are skilled at infiltration, but you really can't hold the character for deep cover. You are also stuck here. If you fear never being born, don't. Any action you take while here is part of a different timeline rather than part of your world's past."
"How?" Mirai gestured in the air. According to Gai's School of Tragedy that meant someone wanted to learn more information.
"You'd have to outdrink me first, lightweight."
"Oh, it is on!"
4 Hours Later
Shiro and Mirai were walking down the streets of Konoha. Shiro walked, Mirai hung from his neck like a scarf.
"The mission was GREAT! I've done C-Ranks before. I have!" Mirai voiced for the hundredth time that night.
"Maybe it wasn't completely officially stamped, but they were C-Ranks! Escorting Ex S Class Ninja to the hot springs in Tanzaku Gai. Lots of catching a cat named Tora too. Then I take my first solo mission. INSIDE KONOHA!" Mirai slapped Shiro's hair in outrage. "Cleaning out a site for construction workers, the hokage didn't want any chakra stuff that might have been lying around since the village founding." Mirai's hands braided Shro's hair, but she kept fumbling around so her hands were mostly petting the well cared for hair. Gai approved hair product, only found in Konoha.
"And WHAT DO I FIND? Lord Fourth's Garbage Dump!
Not that it was obvious at the time." said Mirai. Shiro nodded in support. Lord Fourth wasn't the most careful shinobi about his garbage. The Ninja Village system had long ago almost made Kage semi-religious leaders among the superstitious ninja of the Elemental Nations. A Kage's garbage needed to be protected or left to proper authorities. Hm, Shiro should probably go grab Kakashi to look for Lord Fourth's lost garbage dump if something from there allowed someone to displace universes.
Shiro shook his head. Displacing the shroud of Mirai's hair covering his vision.
Mah, to much work, just make it a D-Rank.
Shiro nodded his head, chewing some of Mirai's hair.
Eventually the duo made their way to a soft bed.
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The Next Morning
Brrrriing, went Shiro's alarm clock.
"MY EYES!" went Shiro's bedmate from his kitchen. A quick use of the byakugan showed Mirai on the floor having been blinded from the light hitting his spotless kitchen. Best defense against intruders, a kitchen that shines, everyone should have one. If the shine causes blindness that's what medical ninjutsu is for.
Shiro used medical ninjutsu to ease his hangover. Then he opened his eyes to the harsh rays of noon.
Shiro should go off to meet his genin team, it's the responsible thing to do. As a shinobi of Konoha dealing with the universal displaced kunoichi must take higher priority. Lord Third will understand.
But first, Shiro must save his beloved kitchen from the criticism of a stranger!
Edit: Mirai Sarutobi is a canon character, Kurenai and Asuma's daughter. But yeah, this omake is mostly for fun.
