Lost on the Road of Life (An AU Naruto Quest)

Shizuka padded across the steeply angled roof. The craftsmen of the Umineko family were quite skilled, for every single roof tile had been firmly affixed, and she barely needed to test the tiles to tell they wouldn't slip or knock around as she crossed from rooftop to rooftop, heading towards the massive double-story building at the heart of the Umineko's lands.

The Umineko had more samurai than any of the other neutrally-aligned families on the island of Sea, and they were on the south side of the central strip of land controlled by the Irabi and their allies – while the Nishikigoi controlled the north side. If the Umineko could be turned against the Irabi, the usurpers would be surrounded, something which the Nishikigoi boy had repeatedly said mattered a lot. Apparently, though the Samurai had impressive physical abilities that rivaled ninja at times, they didn't have nearly the same overland mobility so tactical positioning mattered a lot more.

She lined up her target, an open window without any lights within, and leaped. She flew too high to land in the window, but too short to land on the roof. Instead, she brushed her fingers across the extended lip of the roof, using chakra adhesion to catch her fall once, then twice against the upper edge of the window as she carefully redirected her momentum into the room. Blessedly, neither the beams of the house nor the floorboards creaked as she smoothly rolled across the floor and rose without a sound.

She spun to survey the room, noticing a drawer, a desk, a bed. A bed, she noted with alarm, with someone already in it sleeping under a pile of heavy blankets in the cold winter air. She reached for a kunai, then paused. Another irritating difference between the samurai and ninja, as Nishikigoi had informed her, was that they didn't actually have the nerve to kill their enemies. Even when their armies met in open battle, it was rare that either force would suffer even a tenth of their people as casualties. Stranger yet, they would surrender when the battle was lost, and the enemy would simply accept the surrender, then trade the hostages back to their families for concessions or other hostages in return.

It was monumentally stupid, but they had all reluctantly decided to adhere to Nishikigoi's rules while they were scouting. The three ninja had an unspoken understanding that they would have to spill blood eventually, but better not cause too many problems before they understood any consequences of their actions. So, cursing herself all the while, Shizuka relaxed her grip on the knife, double checked that the breathing pattern of the person in the bed was stable, then slowly padded out of the door.

The inside of the house was richly appointed with silks and tapestries. She followed the paintings of ancient battles and busts of family heroes long gone as they steadily got older and finer, hoping to find the clan leadership at the heart of the house. Even this late at night, a few people still wandered the halls, but the high rafters above gave her plenty of places to hide. The occasional samurai, easily noted by their incredibly noisy gait, merited a swift genjutsu to keep her hidden, and there was no difficulty. Instead, she struggled to find any information worth her time. She passed a room with a samurai man having a nightmare, a room with a woman quietly having sex with a servant, a room with a pair of teenagers drinking and playing dice, but nothing interesting until she decided to go down to the busier bottom story.

It took a long half hour to move through the large open halls connected to the stairway down (next time, she resolved, she would simply use the servant's staircases and kill anyone who saw her) before she managed to get outside a private study, where a few old men seemed to be talking about local fisheries. She paused. Something about these men's voices seemed authoritative. They were leaders of some sort.

She waited. The back rooms of the lower story were less used than even the upstairs, and no servants seemed to be coming from the main areas to disturb these men, so she tensed up as approaching footsteps signaled a newcomer. There were few places to hide in this tiny corridor next to the study, so she burned a little more chakra to make the approaching old man see the wall at the end of the corridor just a few inches farther forward than it should have been, hiding her behind the illusion.

The man didn't notice and turned into the study. Shizuka sighed imperceptibly and released the illusion.

"Ah, Aizu. Welcome back. Have the Irabi given us their silver?" said a gruff voice.

"I have just returned from a meeting with Irabi Wamaru. He tells us to have patience, and that the money will come," said the newcomer, his voice sonorous.

"Hmph," said the first voice, "I trust you reminded them, subtly, that we surround them with the Kimura family, and that we have yet to make our stance on the Shogunate known?"

"Yes, Gonji," said Aizu. "They reassured me that their coffers were deep, and that they would be fools not to keep to their deal."

"Damn right," said Gonji.

"In fact," said Aizu, "they had another question, and a request of us."

"Bold of them to make requests of us when they can't even fulfill their side of the agreement," said a third voice, rather reedy.

"Yes, I said as much to them. They apologized for the inconvenience. They had some paper-thin excuse about manpower needed elsewhere. Regardless, they did seem eager to pay for this new request, and it's one they would need to pay well for. It seems the Irabi are curious at what price they can purchase not our neutrality but our active support."

"They wish for us to field Samurai to their cause?" asked Gonji, incredulous.

"Indeed. They claim that if we swing our swords as one to finish off Kimura and Tako, then they will be able to use the Tai's naval advantage to quickly and painlessly sweep through the Nishikigoi and make Ebi and Fugu bend the knee."

"Hm, that would be quite troublesome," said a fourth voice, this one ridiculously deep. "We have oaths and alliances with the Tako and the Nishikigoi both. Many of the younger generation, even my own son, are growing angry that we do not come to the support of our supposed allies. Convincing them to raise their weapons against those self-same allies would be challenging. Perhaps we can merely agree to aid against the Kimura? I don't believe any of our number wish them well."

"Are you serious?" said the third voice. "Look, I'm not against staying out of trouble, especially when the Irabi are going to pay us so generously for the opportunity. We get to avoid spilling blood and take Irabi silver in the process, but allying with them? Not only would that never fly in the clan, it would be rather dishonorable, no? Irabi Houseki will never make an impressive Shogun, and we would go down as those that piloted the Umineko into a profoundly dishonorable alliance."

"Thank you for your thoughts, Jukito," said Gonji. "The fact of the matter is that we can make no alliance with them until they have made good on their payments for our mere neutrality. Though… Aizu, how much were they willing to offer for our swords?"

Shizuka heard the sound of a servant coming down the passageway as Gonji spoke, and she moved to make her leave. Aizu listed out his figures and she heard jaws drop in the room as the servant rounded the corner with an elaborate tea set, and she made him see herself as another servant with a tray piled high with dirtied plates. She carefully balanced her invisible load as she skirted around the young man, and made her way back out of the Umineko grounds to rendezvous with Hatake.


"And after we got out of the Umineko lands, we went south to the coast and talked with some of the boatsmen." Kakashi watched as he saw Nishikigoi's jaw work at hearing the Umineko's story. He knew that'd piss him off – the boy talked about honor a lot, but didn't seem to realize that not everyone agreed with his ideas of what that meant. For a ninja, the only surprising part of the arrangement was that the Umineko didn't try to start a bidding war for their allegiances.

"The boatsmen weren't affiliated with any of the samurai families, they seemed honest, and their stories lined up. Apparently there've been a lot of monsters in the straits between the Ashika island and the mainland, and that's been keeping them busy. I'd guess that if we killed those monsters off, the Ashika would be able to join up against the Irabi," Kakashi said.

Momochi stood up, reaching for his sword where it leaned against the door in the small Nishikigoi outbuilding.

"Where are you going?" Nishikigoi asked, visibly stamping down his anger at the Umineko elders.

Momochi paused in the doorway, looking over his shoulder as he lowered the sword to a casual ready stance at his side. "At long fucking last, there's a problem that goes away if we kill it. We've had enough bullshit here that you say we can't deal with the proper way. I can kill monsters." He turned to leave.

"You know," Shizuka said, thoughtfully. "I don't think we spoke with anyone from Ashika. We don't know if they'll join the conflict on our side if we free them up. Nishikigoi?"

Nishikigoi hesitated. "I… am not certain. They have traded with the Benizake and the Tai for a long time, and it's unclear if they have fully realized Irabi's treachery. It's possible they may end up being our enemies, if they are freed from their monstrous woes."

Momochi growled and slammed his sword back against the wall as he sat back down. "Fucking fine. What do we have to do to get them on our side?"

Nishikigoi considered for a moment. "We merely need to tell them that we will handle the creatures for them provided they ally with us."

Shizuka raised a hand. "Any of us," she gestured around the room to Kakashi and Momochi, "could reach the island fine, but they won't make a deal with us. You'll need to send some diplomats from your own clan."

Nishikigoi frowned. "But the ship would surely get destroyed by monsters."

She shrugged. "Momochi can keep the ship safe until it arrives, and once the negotiations are done for the Ashika's alliance, he can kill off the rest of the monsters. If he stays unseen, that's an impressive feat for your diplomats to have their side of the deal done before they even board the ships to leave. Does that sound good?"

Nishikigoi nodded slowly. "I see. That seems likely to work. You are a shrewd one."

"It's not that hard to see," she said lightly. "Any ideas on how to deal with the Umineko? I was thinking we could kill off one of the elders at their next money hand-off and frame the Irabi."

Nishikigoi raised both his hands. "I think that would be a bad idea. Apart from the fact that it would be profoundly dishonorable," all three ninja in the room snorted, "the Irabi would bend head over heel to convince the Umineko elders that it wasn't them, and the treachery could well push them to the Irabi's side."

"There's no way that they would somehow interpret an elder getting killed while meeting an Irabi as a plot not by, but against the Irabi, right?" Kakashi asked.

"Not when the Irabi would deny it so vehemently."

"They would deny involvement either way," Kakashi said.

"They would not lie," Nishikigoi said.

Kakashi stared wordlessly at Nishikigoi for several long seconds. Momochi cleared his throat. "I found some useful shit too. The Tai have some damn good ships. The boatwrights back in Mist could learn a thing or two from them. They've been patrolling the waters around the Fugu island in a blockade. You said you ain't heard shit from the Fugu, Fishsticks?"

Nishigikoi nodded.

"Yeah. The blockade is keeping them from doing anything. Unlike the other island, that's gotta mean that they would join up on your side if they're able, right?"

Nishigikoi nodded again, slower. "I believe so, as they have been friends of my family in the past. However, the Fugu are a smaller family, like the Ebi and Kaki, so would likely be inclined to neutrality as the Kaki have been taking. I suspect their will to fight will depend on how the battle with the Ebi goes. If the Ebi are crushed under the Irabi's heel, then I suspect that the Fugu will be less sanguine about rendering us aid."

On their way back from running around the island, Kakashi and Shizuka had seen the start of a staged offensive by the Irabi, with an army thousands strong marching north towards the land of the Ebi, the Nishikigoi's allies. Nishikigoi had said that the Ebi's battle for their homeland would be a pivotal point, yet didn't suggest any subterfuge at all. Kakashi didn't make the obvious suggestion because he knew that Nishikigoi would strike it down, but killing off the Irabi's leadership would give the Ebi a far better chance of survival.

Kakashi turned to Momochi. "What's so special about the Tai's ships?"

Momochi shrugged. "They're nothing special, just really well crafted. Good balance, good streamline. When the wind was good and they had all the oars moving, the boats were practically flying across the water."

"Ah yes, the Tai are the largest family in Sea. Our use of chakra can produce physical strength well in excess of what you are used to, and the Tai have both the craftsmanship to make mechanisms that can harvest that strength well, as well as the manpower to actually man such ships with samurai."

Kakashi raised a hand. "Wait, hold on. You're telling me that the Tai's ships, that they're sailing around the island, blockading the Fugu, and harassing your family's ships with, are filled to the brim with samurai?"

Nishikigoi nodded slowly. "Yes, of course. What else would they do? Their rowing lets the ships sail faster, and the samurai's martial abilities are essential in fighting against enemy vessels and sea monsters alike."

"Why don't they just go over the water directly?"

"Well, swimming is certainly not an option."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at Nishikigoi for a second, and the boy's eyes widened in response.

"Oh, I see," he said with a smile. "No. Our chakra makes us stronger and faster than you ninja, but we sacrifice some of the finesse that you have access to. We cannot simply walk on top of water."

"So," Kakashi said slowly, "the samurai pile into ships made of wood and waterproofed with tar to sail around the island and do battle?"

Nishikigoi looked at him, confused. "Yes, of course. Why is this surprising?"

Kakashi suppressed a grin as an idea came to him. Just like anywhere else in the Elemental Nations, the ships were made of flammable sailcloth, flammable tar, and very flammable dried timber. He knew a way to send the Tai's naval dominance up in smoke, using a jutsu that would no doubt make Uchiha Fugaku smile all those miles away.

"Well, it seems like we've covered everything," Kakashi said, "the Ashika's monster problems, the Fugu getting blockaded by the Tai, the Umineko's bribes, and the Ebi about to fall underneath the Irabi. Enough with the information gathering, I think it's time we got this show on the road, and I've had some ideas…"

---

Kakashi and Shizuka scouted the south part of the island, where Shizuka infiltrated the Umineko family estate. They also learned about the Ashika on the southmost isle. Coming back to the Nishikigoi island through Irabi territory let them see the marching Irabi army approaching Ebi lands.

Momochi scouted the islands to the east from the ocean (as a skilled user of Water Release), letting him observe the Fugu's plight and the Tai's naval supremacy.

Nishikigoi spoke with his family to convince them to accept the outsiders. You've been allotted a dilapidated mountainside house far from civilization. Sugiyama has been busy working the Nishikigoi to be more positive towards you, as the fishboy didn't have enough status to actually shift anyone's opinions.

Approximately two days have passed.

Voting Time! What do you do now?

Here are some options to get you started.
[] Show the Tai why ninja are better. Manufacture a reason to have them send a massive fleet out, then send them all to their fiery, watery graves with Fire Dragon Bullet.
[] Send Shizuka to assassinate the Umineko elders and frame the Irabi for it.
[] Find the Irabi army marching on the Ebi, and work with the other ninja to kill the Irabi commanders, so their offensive falls apart.
[] Ask Shizuka to sneak into the Irabi army and poison their food supply to give the Ebi an edge.
[] Speak with the Nishikigoi elders directly, get them to buy out the Umineko's support.
[] Send Momochi to free up the Ashika as planned. Be careful not to leak that there's ninja involvement.
[] This is all far too easy, why hasn't any other ninja hasn't done all this already? Ask Nishikigoi where ninja can be found on the island, and figure out what they've been doing.
[] Write-in

Remember, we use approval voting, so you can vote for as many plans as you like. Feel free to ping @Paperclipped or @MMKII to ask setting or detail questions that Kakashi could plausibly know.

Voting is open, and closes at 12pm Pacific time, Wednesday June 22.