Fate / Stained Inheritance

-You crack. You can't hold it in.
-Talk with Ruler and Gray.

You gasp for breath, one hand clutching at your chest as you hold onto the balcony railing with a white-knuckle grip. You don't understand. You just did what you needed to do so why does it hurt? It doesn't make any sense- what do you even do like this? You can't let this show you've got to keep this under control you can't let the cracks show you've got to keep this alliance so can't be weak-

" Oh my Master. Oh Mimi…" There's a note of something in Ruler's voice as she steps out on the balcony, brushing against you as she leans precariously back on the railing. You're not sure just what it is… but there is pain there. You can hear that much. "Is there anything you need? What's wrong?"

"No- Nothing. Im-" Im fine. That's all you need to say but you know you can't say it. Ruler knows and you know she knows. You can't. You can't lie to her like this, not when she's never done anything to hurt you no matter how vulnerable you were. She's only tried to help you. She's only done her best to comfort her- you don't know what you'd do if she hadn't been here for you. So there's no way you can lie to her like this.

Your voice cracks as you turn to face Ruler, a gust of wind blowing your veil loose to expose your reddened eyes, tears streaming down your face as you choke on your words. "I don't know! If- if I knew what-how am I supposed to know what this is?"

Coughs wrack your body, leaving blood sprayed on your hand as your lungs object to your sudden outburst but you keep going, everything that had been building up inside of you flooding out from that crack in your shell as your tears blur your vision. "I -don't want- I can;t go back. So that- wasn't that deal something to help that? So- why? Why does it hurt- like ice in my heart. I-I just don't understand- how could I?"

As your throat gives out, sending you doubling over as that raw pain shoots through your chest, you hear a gasp, a sharp, shocked inhalation. You blink your tears away, rubbing your eyes clean as you look up.

Only for your blood to freeze as you see Gray standing at the balcony door. With the wind out here, her hood's blown back just enough. Just enough to see her face, bearing an expression that lets you know she heard everything. You bonelessly slump forwards as the strength drains out of you, Ruler grabbing onto you the only thing that stops you from just slamming face first onto the floor.

It's over for you. No mage would want to work with anyone so weak. So they're going to call off the alliance and then you're not going to have anyone on your side to help ensure you never go back and all because you couldn't keep yourself under control, because you cracked and let all that vulnerability show. Why did she have to see this?

"No- please- you didn't see anything, this never happened." you gasp through a hoarse throat, limply hanging from Ruler's grip. "I- I can't show this. I'm not something useless. So… please…"

Your voice trails off as you just give up. Why are you even trying to salvage this? Why does it sting more to have Gray see you like this than you'd thought being discovered here would? It's over. You brace for your judgement as Gray steps forwards, only to feel Gray grab you below the shoulders and hoist you back onto your feet in a single motion. Slumping forwards again, you find that you don't fall, instead feeling a sharp backwards pull as Ruler hugs you in her arms, leaving you trapped in her grip and more importantly, unable to fall forwards to break your face off the floor. You feel your chin get pushed upwards, eyes refocusing to see Gray right there, a gloved hand holding you gently by the chin.

You start slightly in confusion. Gently is not what you were expecting. It's enough to refocus slightly, getting a better look at Gray; her hoods the furthest off you've seen it, pushed back by the outside breeze. The impressions of androgyny you'd got from earlier glimpses are confirmed with this look; in the right light, she could definitely pass for a boy. It's… not unattractive, with the sharpness to her features and the amber flecks in her green eyes. Though, that impression only holds until the bone-chilling tale Gray gave you of how she got that face forces its way into your memory. Of how she came to this place. What she said to you when you first met. Why she was helping you.

It's no longer a mystery why she's holding you so gently. Why her eyes brim with a warm sadness.

"Ms Yag-" Gray shakes her head slightly, a rare firmness to her voice. "...No- not that. Not for this- Mimi."

You pull yourself upwards with a gasp as Gray uses your name properly, her voice soft and hushed.

"Mimi- I… I don't care about that!" Stumbling over her words, Gray steps forwards and just spits them out, forcing herself to say what she wants to say, even if she falters, even if you can hear her own pain in there. "I- I didn't help you because of the war! It's just… I didn't- don't want you to go the way I could have! So- I'm not going to j-just dump or abandon you- no matter what!"

A sigh of defeat slips out of your throat as you force yourself back onto your own feet. Once again, Gray's beaten you here. You can't say anything back. Not with the raw emotion written on her face. Not when, for once, you don't need Ruler to tell you if someone's being honest.

No longer needing to stop you from slamming face first into the floor, Ruler reaches a hand out, gently patting Gray on the head and ruffling her hair just a bit, before pulling Gray's hood forwards to hide the slight blush on her face.

"A pure heart like that is something rare. He's lucky to have you around." Ruler says softly, before hopping up and perching herself precariously on the balcony railing, leaving you stumbling for a moment as you steady yourself. "So then, my Master. Now you've let it all out, do you feel better?"

You blink once, just putting a hand on your chest by instinct as you try and get a feel for yourself, keeping your gaze fixed upon Gray. You know she wasn't lying then, but you still can't help but look, on edge for any sign that she's not taking it well.

You don't feel better. Not really. Gray's words may have banished that deep fear of being discarded by her- by them. But… that ice is still there. You can still feel that aching cold that's been tearing you up ever since meeting Adashino, resurfacing in your mind now you've been pulled out of your immediate collapse. Another twinge digs it just a little deeper into you as you think of it again. Of what you did.

"No." Slips past your lips in a whisper, as you scour Gray's face for any hint of rejection at that sign of weakness, still cautious despite what she'd told you. After a couple of seconds of nerve-wracking pause, you continue, nervously pacing around the balcony as your gaze keeps lashing back to Gray.

"No. I'm not- I'm not better." You try and swallow the lump in your throat as you pace, each word a struggle to form. This isn't some raw, uncontrolled outburst. You're having to force yourself open here. To admit this vulnerability to someone who isn't Ruler. To someone you desperately want to trust. "It's still there. That feeling- that ice. It's still stabbing me when I think of that and- I don't know what it is or why I'm feeling it!"

"Okay, okay then Master. Let's work through this then. Just like we did last time. Remember, you're sturdier than you might realise." Ruler says softly, hopping down from the railing to pull you into her arms again, wrapping you up in her calming presence, stopping you from working yourself up with the pacing. "If it is as bad a pain as that…"

Ruler trails off for a moment, her voice sombre. "Every time that I've seen someone hurting like that, when someone's been in that much pain... It's because they've done something that simply goes against who they are. Just because humans can go against their nature, doesn't mean they should."

"Then- what? Why?" You gasp, reaching up to clutch at Rulers comforting arms. "Why is it just- like this? I- I'm doing something for what I want- What about it's going against me?"

"It's not about why. I think." Gray interjects hesitatingly, her hands clasped together and fidgeting with her good now back to its usual concealing position. "I… I've seen Sir look like that in the past. Or, something like it. It's- usually when he's thinking about the last Grail War. If he's thinking about what he could have done differently. I think he feels guilty over it. So maybe- it's what, not why. I think."

"Well well, I think you're onto something there." Ruler nods approving you, disentangling from you to lean on the corner of the railing, idly tapping the side of her face. "Try giving it a thought from that angle, Master- when this pain started, and what you'd done."

Why's she asking that- she's got to know, she was watching you, you saw how pained she looked when you made that deal with Adashino that's when it started. It all started then… when you… sold Lainur out.

Ah.

A sad chuckle escapes your throat as the realisation hits. "I sold someone out just to help myself. How Mage-like of me."

Your voice is wormwood-bitter as you spit it out. You became just like them for your own sake. If Gray's right- if it's you regretting what you did, if it's you feeling guilty for your own actions. Then no wonder you feel like this. "But- I need something- I can't go back I'm not going back there- I need something to stop that. Adashino can give me that- but if doing that makes me feel like this? If I need to sell people out for it?"

[] Should I give up on Adashino's deal? Find my own way after this?

[] I need Adashinos help- But how can I get it if I need to do that for it?

[] Is there anyone- anything else that could help me instead of Adashino? A way where I don't need to do these things?

-Is there anyone- anything else that could help me instead of Adashino? A way where I don't need to do these things?

The words catch in your throat as you think. You turn to look over the street, clutching Ruler's hand in yours, fingers interlacing as her warmth melts the ice in your heart just a little. "I- I can't"

You turn back to Ruler and Gray, wide eyes flickering between the two of them as you shake just a little. "If it'll hurt this much- I just can't"

There's another nerve-wracking moment as you desperately search for acceptance in what you see of Grays face, inwardly pleading for her to not be judging you, to not be rejecting you as you keep swallowing down the lump in your throat. Seeing none of what you're afraid of seeing, you keep forcing word after word out of your mouth. Ruler's there. You can focus on her, cling to her heat. It's… not as hard to speak like this at least, since so far you've not seen any trace of Gray reacting harshly to you, with how sincere she's been in her replies. You might have cracked open your shell here, but neither Gray nor Ruler have hurt you for it. So- hard as it is, you can at least speak here.

"So- I- maybe there's another way?" You ask, your free hand clutching the railing to stop it trembling. "I need what Adashino can give but that pain it's just too much I can't cope- I can't live with that ice in my heart but is she the only way I can get this or is there something else? Someone else? There's got to be some other way I can get that- something else I can do to some other way I can get a future right?"

You're pulled off balance as Ruler draws you back into an embrace, wrapping her warmth around you once again as she humms approvingly into your ear, her hair brushing against you as she nods gently. "Clever girl~ That's right, nobody ever said that that viper lady was the only way you could get yourself backing. There's always a path to be found. You just need to see it"

"Right…" You whisper in response, just letting Ruler wrap you up more, your heart slowing back to a normal pace with the slow, soothing strokes of her hand down your back, massaging away the tension.

"Well- if I may," Gray speaks up, her slight fidgeting drawing your attention to her soft voice. "I don't think I'm the only person here who's noticed- who sees similarities between us. I'm sure- I think Sir has as well. So, I'm sure that he'd be willing to help, just like he did for me..."

She pauses for a moment, her voice trailing off. "...Though, I understand if you don't trust him enough. I promise he's a good person- but it's your choice here."

"I… see." You say quietly. That's… an offer. It's tempting. You have to admit that. You'd get to see more of Gray, and you have to admit that you're getting used to some bits like this. Even the in-your-faceness of Flat isn't bad, in its own way. But Gray's right about the trust bit. You can't ignore the weight of El-Melloi's title, the hushed rumors you heard in the vaults enough to keep you on edge around him. You nod at Gray, before looking away bashfully. "That's- worth a thought. Thank you."

But Gray definitely has a point about trust there. If you're able to find someone you trust, someone you know, that's one option- you can make sure you'd not need to do anything that'd hurt you on the inside that way to grab that future. Then all you need to do is make sure you find someone like that first. You nod your head slightly, golden eyes and sweet perfume flashing briefly across your mind as the idea takes shape, before turning to Gray. "Really- that… does help. But… Do- could you check on the others? Make sure they don;t get the wrong idea or something just play it down- That there's no concern, that I'm fi- I'm better."

That last bit is something that for once, feels right to say. You can still feel that ice there, but, with Ruler's presence, with an idea of how to not do that again… it's melting a bit. Enough that you can feel normal again.

Gray nods, turning to leave the balcony, before stopping at the door, turning to look back at you, a slight smile under her hood. "I'm glad you're feeling a bit better."

And just like that, she's gone, leaving you and Ruler alone on the balcony. You take the moment to disentwine yourself from Ruler, standing there facing her properly, picking a single cherry-red hair off from where it had stuck to your habit from that last embrace.

"Thank you as well, Ruler." You give her a weak smile. "That's one more time you've helped me like this. Really- what would I do without you? You've done so much for me…"

"And I would give you that much and more all over again, Mimi." Ruler says with a smile, the opal on her bracelet glimmering in the afternoon sun as she places a hand over her heart. "You are my Master. I have judged you, and you are worthy. To support you in every way is my task. Because I want to see you grow, I want to see the heart that called out to me. So whenever you falter, I will be here, to share my warmth with you."

You have to look away at this point, a faint blush creeping over your cheeks. Saying things like that while bathed in the warm sunlight, her amber eyes glittering… it's enough to make your heart skip a beat.

A rustle of cloth draws your attention as Ruler reaches out to you, affixing your veil where it belongs, leaning in to whisper to you. "I do mean it, Mimi. To help you like this, to be your guide… this is all the reward I could wish for."

"I- really…" Your voice trembles as you and Ruler stand up, facing each other again, the world you see slightly tinted by the comforting distance of your veil. You've never thought Ruler had anything but your best interests at heart, yes. But to hear it like this… Your heart's pounding, and there's tears in your eyes… but it's different this time. "Thank you. So, so much. It's- Gray should have had the time there. We should go back in."

What do you do now?
Votes to be tallied from winning category then subcategory.

[] Interact with El-Melloi, see if you can get more of an idea of his trustworthiness by interacting directly.
-[] Discuss more about your reports from the Cursecraft archives, about what relationship you have to this war.
-[] Discuss the last grail war, since you know he was involved, and you were found in the city it took place in.

[] Interact with Flat and Scathath, try and get an idea of El-Melloi's trustworthiness indirectly.
-[] Talk about your battles from last night.
-[] Talk about Izabetha, as Flat seems to have had some knowledge of her in the past.
-[] Talk about what you've been given by Kiara- Scathath in particular is taking an interest on that front.

-Interact with El-Melloi, see if you can get more of an idea of his trustworthiness by interacting directly.
-Discuss the last grail war, since you know he was involved, and you were found in the city it took place in.

Right. If El-Melloi is someone you need to get a better handle on, you might as well try and get a better idea of what he's like. You'd have to do this sooner or later so why not do it now right? That and your leg is starting to hurt again from all the standing you've been doing here, so you really should take your weight off it. Flat gives you a wave from the sofa as you reenter the apartment, where he's slumped over with some sort of handheld. He looks like he's about to run over, but a look from Scathath stops him in his tracks, where she's just poring over a few maps.

Giving Flat a weak wave back in response, you instead make your way over to where El-Melloi sits at a table, quietly making some notes in a book. There's a distinct whump as Ruler plops herself down on a different sofa as you carefully pull out a chair that's not quite opposite El-Melloi, before gently taking your seat. A faint sigh escapes your lips as the weight on your leg vanishes as you gently massage the bandaged wound on your leg. It's still sore, but at least everything you've done today hasn't reopened it. But now comes the hard part.

You have to actually talk to him. To a Lord. you might have managed that last night but that was in the heat of the moment and you still don't know if he's mad about the way you spoke there. So you try to speak, to say anything to get his attention, and just find words failing you, leaving you with a vaguely fish-like expression as you keep opening your mouth to try and say anything and finding nothing coming out. It is just the focus he's got here, the lack of concern for anything outside the notebook he's reading, it all combines with his usual gloomy expression to look simply thunderous. Like the instant anyone disturbs him they'd be struck down by his wrath. How are you supposed to just say things to him?

You flinch as El-Melloi closes the notebook with a sharp snap, giving you a look over his glasses. "So? What's the matter?"

"I- No I really didn't mean to disturb you-" you stammer, unable to meet his gaze even through your veil. He's got to be mad, hasn't he.

You almost bolt away as El-Melloi sighs, putting his book down on the table to give you more of his attention. "Given your usual attitude to me, you wouldn't have approached me to begin with if you didn't have something you wanted to discuss."

He pauses for a moment, forcing his voice to be a little less harsh. "We are on the same side here. You can talk to me."

A mousey noise slips through your throat as you push yourself back slightly at his comment, before slowly, tentatively pushing yourself forwards and back to the table, your voice still quiet and apprehensive as you speak. "Then- the Grail War. The last one- The file; it said I was found in the place it was so I want to know about it and she- Adashino said you had something like experience with it? Just- maybe something you say might jog a memory?"

"Honestly- did it have to be that?" El-Melloi sighs, irritably rubbing his forehead as you flinch away.

"No- if you don't want to talk about it that's fine you're the Lord here." Your hands twitch in panicked motions as you babble deflections, your heartbeat racing.

"No. I said you could talk to me. You couldn't have known." El-Melloi shakes his head, your heart pausing in its acceleration as you remain un-struck down by lightning or whatever magecraft El-Melloi prefers for his smiting. "Although what I can tell you might not be what you want to know."

"Wait- you've got Sir to talk about the last war?" Flat shouts from the sofa, hurling his handheld away to sit bolt upright, leaning over the sofa with rapt attention. "He's always been all cagey about it before."

"Because there is a time and a place for such topics, and the idle curiosity of my students is neither." El-Melloi sighs, before his voice takes on an altogether different tone. Wistful? "But something like this is different."

You pause for a moment as El-Melloi takes a sip of tea, gathering his thoughts. You're lucky he's in a forgiving mood- it looks like this is a sore spot for him.

Eventually, El-Melloi speaks up again, Flat hanging on his every word. "Adashino was understating things when she said I had experience with Grail Wars. In the last one, I was the Master of Rider, Alexander the great…"

You do your best to keep your focus on El-Melloi as he begins to recount his experiences with the last war, to keep focus on him as much as what he's talking about. But it's hard; there's just something about the way he's speaking that draws you into his words as he gives you an abridged version of his participation. There's much that he doesn't say. But even with you getting drawn into the tale at times, you're still able to get a few insights into El-Melloi from this. You can scarcely believe he's the same person who went into the war, if what he's saying is really how he used to be. But when he talks about Alexander, or the previous Lord El-Melloi… even with how little you know about him, you can tell that both of these people meant a lot to him. That he wouldn't be who he was today without them. The slightest of cracks in his stoic appearance showing admiration and pain underneath. He might hide it well, but… when he talks about Kayneth, you can see the faintest twinges of pain. It's hidden well, but how can you not recognise the same thing you felt not even an hour ago?

But as he speaks, picking away at old scabs, you find some of your fear being stripped away with each wound El-Melloi shares, humanising himself. The weight of his title might still be crushing to think of… but at least you know there is a person under that crown.

It's at the end of El-Melloi's account that it happens. When he says something that rings a bell. He's talking about the end of the war. He had lost, but survived. And as he was making his retreat, his last glimpses of what unfolded. As far as he could tell, the last of the Masters still in play were making their stands in the centre of town, making their fight on the site of the grail's manifestation. But when it appeared, it was nowhere near there; the grail appeared somewhere else entirely, right on the edge of town. It's only a passing reference in his account, swiftly passed over as El-Melloi finishes his tale.

And yet…

Ś̴̢͝į̸̀͢r҉̨́̀͡ȩ̷n͢ş̨ ̡̡̢̢a̸̢̛͢p̵̢͜҉̡p͟͡r̡̢͢o̵̢͝a͟͟͠͞c̵̢h̴͡ ̧̛͢҉͝y͜҉̡͞o̢͘ù̴̢͠͞ ̢a̶s̨̡͟͞ ̧͏y̵̶̷͢ơ͘̕͜u̴͝ ̢̕͞l̵̕͢͜͢ò͠o̢͟͝͞k̡͏ ̴ḑ̸̨͜o̸͞w͏̴̀ǹ̶͢͡͏ ̷̡ú̸́̕p̸҉o̸̡͞n̴̢ ͝à̴̛͢͜ ̷͠d͞͡i̷͡s҉͠͞a̧̡͠s̕̕t̶e̡͘r̀̕͜͝-҉͠s̷̛t͟͢ŗ̀́u̷̡͏̢͘c̸̀k̸̷͝͡ ̸̢̛̀͢ḉ̵͘͠i͞҉̧҉t̵͟͜҉y͜͞҉͡

An image still flashes into your mind, brief and indistinct, slipping through your fingers as you grasp for it. But you were there. You're sure of it. It's not just the files saying you were in Furuki. Even if you can't grasp it, you know you were there. It's something to think about, at the very least. And if nothing else comes of that image, you still think you might be able to face El-Melloi now, even if just a little.

But with the sun beginning to lower in the sky and the scent of food coming from the kitchen, you're left at another impasse as to what to do next.

Each line will be counted individually.

Before the meal
[] Help Gray with the cooking.
[] Talk to El-Melloi about your armaments
[] Talk to Scathath about your armaments
[] Just spend some time with Flat. Get to know him better.
[] Just spend some time with Ruler. No breakdowns, nothing serious. Just a moment of relaxation together.

After the meal
[] Discuss tactics with Waver, Flat and Scathath.
[] Go to meet Izabetha again, to see what she's learned so far.