-Why was it so easy to forgive someone who'd hurt you?
"Really- Thank you for this help." You mutter, not quite able to look Kiara in the eyes even through your veil. You should go see El-Melloi for whatever meeting he's got planned. You've been here a while now. You and Ruler say your goodbyes, and move to leave.
Except… there's something that stops you at the threshold. One last thing that's bothering you still. Kiara tilts her head to the side slightly as you turn back to face her, awkwardly tapping your hands together. "Well- K-kiara- you're good with people aren't you?"
"I try to be. Is something the matter?" Kiara steps closer, a hand resting on her cheek.
"It's- well. There's something- I- I just don't know how I did it-" Your grind your teeth, forcing each word through a throat that just wants to swallow this topic and be done with it, nails digging into your clasped hands from your white-knuckle grip. "IIII'd seen someone. She was a mage she'd hurt me and she was hurt and I helped her and I don't really understand why. Okay so she looked as pathetic as I used to and I couldn't just leave her like that- it's just- how could I do that why was it so easy surely I hate her so why was it so easy?"
"Oooooh. My my~" Kiara aras, a sun-bright smile breaking on her face as she interrupts your babbling. "I understand just how confused you must feel. I understand exactly how you feel. It might make it simpler if you think about it this way; did you really hate her?"
You stop, blinking slightly in confusion as your line of thought crumbles to dust. You- You've got to hate her, how couldn't you? You were locked up and she was one of the people holding the key. "Of course I-"
"No, no, not like that, Ms Yagami." Kiara shushes, cutting you off as an edge cuts into her voice, her fingers digging into the red-stained bandage on her hand as she leans closer. "True hate is when every fibre of your being loathes someone. When you can't even see them as a person, when you feel nothing but an endless fire that smothers anything rational that you need to keep feeding with more and more of who you are until all there is is that hate. So tell me, did you hate her?"
With a gasp of air and a hacking cough as your heartbeat pounds in your ears, you realise that you'd forgotten to breathe when Kiara was talking then, lost in her hellish description. The edge vanishes from Kiara's voice as she pulls back. You blink for a moment, mouth half open as you try and think of what to say. If that's- you think back to how Felicia begged. She was just like you there. So…can you really say that? If that is hating?
"...No." You just can't. Not with what you felt then "-If that's it. No."
"And you have no idea how happy hearing that makes me." Kiara whispers, tears at the corner of her eyes as she embraces you. "Thank you."
Kiara trembles as she holds you to her. You're not sure why. But slowly, carefully, you wrap your arms around her and return the embrace, shoving that recollection from your mind. You don't hate mages. You don't know what that really means. It's not like you like the bastards. But what Kiara described there, that self-consuming pyre of raw hate… That is not what you feel. You're certain of this.
And you're glad. You're not sure why. But the thought of destroying yourself to destroy something else, of losing everything you have for a spiteful victory… it almost scares you more than Berserker did.
Giving you one final squeeze, Kiara pulls away from you, wiping her eyes before pulling your veil aside. "You're not a bad person Mimi, and you never hated them to begin with. That's why it was so easy for you to help them."
The veil falls back over your face as Kiara releases it, leaving you stunned for a moment. Surely it's got to be more complicated than that? You've barely been a person for a couple of days- it can't be that simple. And yet, you can't give any real response to Kiara, instead simply turning on your heel and going to leave, a final whisper passing your lips as you go. "Thank you."
The cool, fresh outside air is a welcome relief as it hits you, the chapel doors swinging closed behind you as you walk down the path, still wincing a little as you accidentally put a little too much weight on your leg. There's the faint crunch of gravel behind you as Ruler falls in behind you. "She's not wrong, my Master- There's no way I could get along with the sort of person who could hate that much. We'd be oil and water."
Again, what does that mean for you? How does that change anything- you still don't like mages even if you hate them and you don't know what that sort of moral stuff changes? You shake your head slightly, turning back to Ruler in a blatant change of topic. "The meeting- where is it?"
"Oh, Gray did say the place was near the park you were at yesterday, sooo that's all fine no need to worry about getting lost on the way." Ruler moves in, offering you a bit of support on your injured side which you gladly take.
It's another half-tense-half-relaxed bus ride back to the park, the seat a welcome rest after the short dash you'd needed to make to catch the bus. You don't say much at the start of it, but towards the end you've managed to recenter yourself enough to make some small talk with Ruler, the on-off crowd scanning at each stop having served to distract you from what Kiara'd said. You don't need to think about that right now. Eventually, you get off, and wander around the outside of the park for a bit before Ruler darts off ahead, dragging you in her wake to where a familiar cloaked figure waits outside a coffee shop.
"Ah- Ms Yagami, Ruler, there you are. Sir's just inside." Gray greets you with a slight nod, trailing off for a few moments "... it's good to see you're both fine."
"Ah- Hello… Gray." You mumble in response, once again grateful for the veil. "It's- I'm glad you're not hurt either."
There's a bit of an awkward silence then as neither of you really say anything. Gray's the first one to break it. "We shouldn't stand around too long. Sir's waiting for us."
You nod, following Gray into the coffee shop as she leads the way in. It's a fairly nice place inside, rather well decorated with a very nice smell in the air. El-Melloi's off in a more secluded area ahead, sitting at a fairly large table recessed in a nook. Sitting opposite to him is a woman you don't recognise, with long, raven-coloured hair and wearing a matching, rather good quality kimono. There's a faint fuzz in the air as you take a seat at the table, halfway between El-Melloi and this newcomer, Gray sitting next to him while Ruler just leans against the wall next to you. You tense as she turns to you, piercing blue eyes half hidden behind hair and glasses giving you an assessing look, deep bags under her eyes.
"Ah. You would be the girl Lord El-Melloi mentioned." She states, her voice cool and collected… although she does sound a bit tired, she still gives off the air of someone who is definitely used to being in control of the conversation. You nod ever-so-slightly in response, your hands clenched tightly beneath the table. The way she's staring at you- you don't like it at all- it's dangerous. "My name is Hishiri Adashino. And you are?"
How do you introduce yourself
[] By Name
[] Master of Ruler
[] Say nothing, let El-Melloi say something.
How much do you actually say in the meeting
[] As little as possible- this woman doesn't feel safe you don't want to give her anything
[] Take a slightly more active role, try and make a better impression of yourself.
