Tengu Reporter Quest (Touhou) (World 7 - Wheel of Time)

Attempt to speak to whoever is on the ship.


"They're looking for us, aren't they?" You glance at Hatate, then back up at the ship. You smile and shrug.

"Maybe. Probably. I guess the real question is whether or not they respect the right of reporters to conduct their business without interference." Hatate slowly turns her face toward you.

"You're not thinking of going up there, are you?" You frown and look down at where the Koopa Troop had been. You certainly wouldn't want to be hit by it, but it doesn't seem particularly destructive, at least not generally. Or they have very good aim and angled the beam just so it wouldn't obliterate too much of the landscape …. Your smile returns and you pat Hatate's shoulder.

"If you want, you can stay down here, but I am going up there to see if there's anyone to talk to. Maybe they're our kind of people." You stretch your arms, flap your wings, and hop into the air, holding position a few meters up to see what Hatate decides. She takes a deep breath and nods, then follows you as you fly up toward the ship. You notice a design on the front 'blade' of the ship – no, not a design. Is the ship itself perhaps one giant tsukumogami? That's definitely an eye following you, after all. It doesn't react apart from watching you, however, and you land on the top without trouble. The sides are studded with small cannons, but the top is bare of apparent weapons. But that beam had to come from somewhere, and the only place you can see is … the mast-like axe in the middle of the ship. It, too, has eyes – almost a face – but you're distracted by a blinding starburst, and leap well back, dragging Hatate with you again.

"We fight for evil!"
"We live for disorder!"
"We like what we do!"
"We struggle for chaos!"
"We are ..."

"... The Axem Rangers!" The initial flash of light having faded, you can now see the five figures standing impressively before you, and another, dimmer, strobe of multicolored lights flares behind them. … No, they aren't standing – they're posing. It's embarrassing, but you have to admit some level of debt to Sanae, since you wouldn't know what was going on if you hadn't overheard her drunken overture to Reimu about forming a 'Miko Sentai' – and the resulting explanation. Thanks to that, you can peg the leader as the red one in the middle, the pink one as a probable healer, and the black one – because there's no blue one – as the second-in-command. Unless Sanae was wrong, or this world just has different rules … but you don't think the latter is likely. You can't see Remilia sending you to a place with a law of chromatic superiority where red wasn't the best. Of course, by now your and Hatate's reactions are completely identical: you take pictures.

"... Er, aren't you … the least bit concerned about us?" Most of the 'Axem Rangers' – and they're all carrying axes, ha ha – seem confused about what their reactions should be, but the Green one is the only one that seems to be confused about your reaction. You lower your camera and raise an eyebrow.

"Should we be?" Red glares at you and stamps the haft of his axe on the floor of the ship.

"Of course you should! Didn't you hear our creed just now? Evil, disorder, chaos! We just blasted your world's defender with our Breaker Beam! You should be quivering in fear, not unlike Yellow when he laughs!" The quite round ranger glares at his leader, but you smile and put the image out of your mind.

"Ah, well, there's two points you made that don't apply at all, and a third that needs a bit more detail. I don't suppose you'd care to do an interview, answer some questions?" Red, Green, and Yellow all give you conflicted looks, but Pink clasps her hands together excitedly, and Black … maybe looks interested? It's hard to tell with the sunglasses, really.

"Ooh, yes, yes! I'd love to answer your questions!" Pink starts to skip forward, but Red hooks her with his axe.

"Hey! None of that – or did you forget where we are?" Pink looks over at Bowser's Castle – at the sword rising amid the towers – and steps back, chastened. You cock your head at Red, and he points his axe at you. "First, which points did you disagree with?" You look at Hatate, and she trades her camera for pen and notebook. It's still your interview, of course.

"Well, there's your classifying Bowser as a 'defender of the world,' which I think everyone, him included, would disagree with. He seems to be responsible for causing trouble – chaos and disorder, if you will – rather than trying to help anyone else. He's just fighting you because you invaded his castle."

"Ha! These turtles can't fight – not against the Smithy Gang!" Red elbows Black and quiets him with a glare, and you pretend to not notice the byplay.

"As for this being 'our world' – we're visitors here, actually. We've probably been here less time than you have." As you half-expected, that gets the Rangers looking at each other worriedly, and they back away to huddle together.

"Wait, is someone else coming?"
"No one we know about. Maybe they're lost?"
"If they're here for the same reason we're here …."
"We should eliminate them. Do they think they're safe from us?"
"They could be lying."
"They look too confident. Something's wrong."
"I'm hungry."
"Shut up, Yellow!" You wince as the other four Rangers yell at their rotund comrade, then break away to come back to you. They're now much warier than they were before, and even Yellow watches you suspiciously. You smile innocently.

"Anyway, perhaps you wouldn't mind answering a couple questions? What are you here for? Who are you? Who do you work for?" The Rangers look at each other, and shrugs ripple through them. Finally, Red steps forward again.

"We work for Smithy, and we're going to conquer this world. You, whoever you are, cannot stop us – and if you really are from another world, my suggestion would be to run along home and let everyone know we're coming! And if you don't …." The Axem Rangers raise their weapons menacingly. Hatate shuffles back, but you just cock your head. A potential threat to Gensokyo? If that's really the case, you probably should do something – even if they do end up going through Remilia first, at least you could do some investigation of their capabilities, first.


What do you do?

[ ] Try to crash the ship.

[ ] See if you can make it inside the castle.

[ ] Flee! Or, fly away, anyway ….
- Where?

[ ] Other?

Oh my is that a challenge? Maybe you should show them why all should bow before the awesome Tengu (reporters)!


A smile creeps across your lips, and Hatate backs away. "Aya …." You wave her away.

"Go on, I won't be long." She looks back and forth between you and the Rangers, and when she jumps, Black dashes toward you, axe sweeping up. You step back – he's certainly fast, but only so much as to be a threat to beast youkai. As his weapon passes through empty space, you wonder about taking his sunglasses; it's hard to tell just how surprised he is at your move.

"Green!" Red and Pink dart forward as well, the leader coming right behind Black while Pink dashes to your side. Yellow shuffles to the side to cover Green, who stands still for a moment before swinging his axe in a circle. Black, after several more easily-avoided strikes, darts to your right, opposite where Pink is aiming for, and tosses a spread of small orbs behind you.

"Ha!" The sky ripples with blue light as Green finishes, and a dome of shimmering energy covers the deck as Black's bombs explode – more like firecrackers than destructive devices, but suitable to restrict movement. He, Pink, and Red all aim toward you with their axes. You take half a step back, eyes watching the incoming weapons, then leap to your right, between Black and Red, turning to slip through the gap and still strike Red with your wing. A mistake, that; they're harder than they look, and you dismiss your intention to tackle Yellow into Green. You like having intact shoulders, and hitting Yellow at any kind of speed would probably do bad things to whichever part of you hits him. Instead, you slide around him and past Green, easily snatching the upraised axe from the magician's hand.

"Wow, so fast!" Red glares at Black for the praise, but Pink dabs at her cheek and glances at her hand. Did she get hit by something from one of the bombs? You spin the axe experimentally, getting used to the weight and balance as Yellow turns to face you and Green runs to hide behind the other three. You grin fiercely – you're even less an axe-user than you are a swordsman, but the basics are even more effective. Then you slide back as the ship angles up, catching yourself on the axe-mast as the ship picks up speed. The Axem Rangers don't seem affected, though, protected by either something holding them to the deck or simply by having gravity localized to the ship instead of the ground. You could fly … but maybe holding back just how maneuverable you are might be the better decision.

Black dashes forward again, zigzagging instead of coming straight, and as he slips behind the mast to come at you from behind, Yellow leaps at you, his sheer mass more dangerous than his weapon. You can't block or parry him, and you see more of Black's bomblets fly out when you glance at him. You jump, forward and over Yellow, and your wings spasm as the blue dome crackles toward them. Hissing in pain, you land heavily on the tilting deck, between Red, Green, and Pink on one side and Black and Yellow on the other. "You're pretty fast," Red says, smiling confidently, "but we're the Axem Rangers!" Green gestures again, and star-shaped points of light surge toward you. You whip out your camera and snap a picture, erasing some of the stars, and leap through the gap, much to everyone's surprise. Landing among the trio, your borrowed axe hooks Red's weapon and you yank up, almost disarming him before you disengage and chop down across his body, slashing open the metal in a shower of sparks. Then you dash back to Black, smashing your weapon directly into his face, shattering his sunglasses and sending him skidding across the deck.

"Yo, Red! I broke my shades!" Black's voice is dazed and groggy, and you're modestly surprised he's still alive, but since he's currently unarmed you temporarily dismiss him and drive your axe into Yellow's back. Youkai can survive similar wounds, after all, and so long as he's incapacitated for at least a short while, you have some extra options.

"Serves you right!" You yank the weapon through Yellow before leaping away, arm sore, and you nod as pink blossoms swirl over Red and Yellow, patching their injuries before Pink sags. Your wings are mostly fine, still tingly, and the one is probably going to have a nasty bruise if one hasn't formed already, and your camera is half-recharged. Black is out, Pink seems exhausted already, Green looks worried, and you've made convincing hits on Red and Yellow. If these idiots were rational, they'd back off and try to come to an agreement. Instead, Red holds his axe parallel to the deck for a moment, and briefly glows with red light, and Green does something that makes the air around you cold. You nod to yourself, and surge forward once again. They barely react – hardly have any time to react – and you drive the spike on the haft of the axe into Pink, shoving her into Green and pushing both away, then grab Red and simply fly off with him. The electric wall hurts to go through, but it's survivable, and then you're well above the castle, and the ground, and the ship, and you're the only thing keeping Axem Red from falling. After a moment, he drops his axe and clamps his hands around your right arm. You look at the ship, and then you see Hatate, leading it on a chase. She looks up, sees you, and immediately flies past the ship to meet up with you.

"Aya, you're al- er, are you alright?" You look at your arm, sore and with a metal person hanging onto it, at your wings, scorched and tingling, and shrug, immediately regretting the decision.

"I've had worse." She gapes and you shake your head. "Anyway, what do you think we should do with this? Let it go, or just drop it?" Red's hands clamp more tightly on your arm, and you fight back a wince as it feels like your bones start to bend. "Actually, maybe you could go grab an axe and cut my arm off. I'll get better." Red either doesn't see Hatate's horrified look or chooses to believe you actually would cut your arm off just to watch him fall, and his grip loosens. The ship turns toward you and starts approaching.

"Ah, um, if you – if you set me back on the Blade, I-I'm sure we'll forget about you and just go back to work. You'll be free to go!" Hm. Is he afraid of heights, maybe? Or have you just sufficiently shocked his senses?


What do you do?

[ ] Drive the ship into the ground, but don't crash it.
- [ ] Explain to Red about that third point, then let him go.

[ ] Crash the ship.
- [ ] Then take Red with you as you examine the Sword in the Castle.

[ ] Let Red go and leave.
- Where?

[ ] Drop Red and leave.
- Where?

[ ] Other?


Note: "Dropping" Red means disconnecting him from Aya at a high enough altitude to harm him. "Letting him go" means setting him on the ground or the Blade.

Let Red go
- Interview the Axem Rangers


You tap your chin for a moment, thinking. "I think I would take you up on that offer, but I believe Hatate and I still have some business with you and the other Rangers." They give you similarly confused looks, but Hatate figures it out after a moment and smacks her forehead. Red, on the other hand, tries to give you a stern look.

"Maybe you can defeat us, but we won't give up – we'll keep fighting for Smithy until -!" You wave your arm rapidly, shaking the Ranger, then smile at him.

"In-ter-view." He gives you a confused look again and you sigh. "We're going to interview you and the other Axem Rangers. You know, we ask questions about you and you all do your best to answer them? Like I said before you started that silly fighting nonsense?" You can almost see, almost hear the gears struggling in his head – rather than the smooth and almost soundless sight of properly-working clockwork, there's a constant clicking as the teeth of each gear has to slip off its neighbors' teeth and into position. After several seconds he goes limp, releasing your arm from his vice-like grip.

"An … interview. Yes, I – sure, we'll let you interview us." He sounds so utterly lost and confused that you want to smile and pat his head. Instead, you simply nod at Hatate and fly toward the ship. The other Rangers – even Black – ready their weapons, but as you set Red down on the floor of the ship they watch you curiously. He looks back and nods, then walks toward the other Rangers, explaining what's going to happen when they go into their huddle. He doesn't get it, none of them do, but he does get them to go along with it, and when they come out of the huddle, their weapons are down, their expressions are neutral, and Red waves for you to follow them into the ship. Not too far, it turns out, as there's a nice meeting table just off the first hallway. The Rangers take their seats on the far side, after Red opens a small window – he probably doesn't mean anything specific by it, but it's still a nice touch – while you and Hatate sit with the door to your left. You look at the Rangers, waiting expectantly for you to begin, glance at Hatate with her notebook out, and nod.

"So, you five are the Axem Rangers – Red, Black, Pink, Green, and Yellow. Do you have names apart from that?" The five shake their heads.

"Why would we need other identifiers?" Red frowns at Green, but you don't mind the counter-question.

"What if you were to act outside your personas as the Axem Rangers? Or what if one of you were to unfortunately die? There are only so many colors, after all." Again, blank looks of confusion study you, but after a moment Red nods.

"Of course. That explains it." Everyone looks at him curiously, and he smiles confidently at you. "We are the Axem Rangers, created by Smithy. We just … are the Axem Rangers. There isn't anything else. We serve Smithy, as we were made to do – and if one of us is destroyed in the course of our mission, then we will be replaced by Smithy, either with an upgraded model or, if our performance is flawed, with a separate line." You nod, then glance out the window at Bowser's Castle.

"So Smithy is your creator. Is he a magician?" The Rangers shake their heads.

"Smithy is Smithy. He created us – the entirety of the Smithy Gang is his creation, either directly in the case of original works, or through the Smelter and Factory in the case of the mass production models." Green seems to delight in explaining their origin. "He is an unrivaled weaponsmith: hammers, axes, swords, bows, spears, you name it and he's crafted it. No one can match his skills. After all, he made us, the Blade, even Exor. Have you ever seen any weapon half so magnificent as any of us?" Admittedly, Smithy's ability to craft living and intelligent creatures as weapons, rather than utilizing shikigami on already-living creatures, or hoping for tsukumogami to form – assuming he isn't simply able to force tsukumogami into existence – is quite impressive. However, you're certain that if you had your chokuto, unimpressive as it is by oni standards, the Axem Rangers would be in awe of it.

"Hm. Does Smithy have some reason for crafting weapons, or is that all he wants to do?" Red scoffs.

"Well, a world filled with weapons is a grand goal in and of itself, isn't it? But, yes, Smithy does want to conquer worlds, and fill them with weapons as well. Eventually, there will be nothing but weapons!" The other Rangers nod happily, and you wonder if Smithy expects to succeed, or if he thinks that somewhere along the line, he'll be defeated.

"But – but what then? If you are weapons, then don't you want to be used?" The Axem Rangers frown at Hatate, who shakes her head. "I mean, yes, you'll be used during the conquering portion, but what comes after that? After you've conquered all the worlds, and there's nothing left but Smithy and weapons … what then?" The Rangers stare at her for several seconds, then look at each other. Eventually, Green shrugs.

"Then I suppose Smithy will decide what to do, if he doesn't already have a plan ready. It doesn't really matter to us, as long as Smithy wins." Hatate frowns, but it's perfectly sensible from Smithy's point of view. His weapons are tools, more like shikigami than tsukumogami, and just as expendable. It does raise some other questions, though ….

"Alright, so Smithy made you, and this ship. Why give you color themes and self-identities? Why not just give you numbers, or different kinds of axes? Why do you have characters instead of just being … well, just weapons?" Again, your question is met with blank stares, until finally Pink shrugs.

"What does it matter? Smithy made us, and he made us this way. He wanted us this way, for whatever reason. I mean, why are you two so different from each other?" You shrug and smile.

"We weren't created by the same person, or even by similar people. We weren't even consciously made – we just are. And that's part of why we're interviewing you. Even before we found out about you, we were curious, but now that we know about that, we're even more curious, because you're very unlike most things where we come from. What you are is interesting." Hatate frowns, apparently disagreeing with some point you just made, but the Axems just nod. The question, of course, is how much you'll continue to get from them. Maybe you should just move on to their creator? Although that might be a lost cause; not everyone can be buttered up sufficiently, and Smithy seems like he might have a one-track mind.


What do you do?

[ ] Keep interviewing the Axem Rangers.
- What do you ask?

[ ] Maybe you can interview Smithy?

[ ] Thank them for the interview and leave.
- [ ] Ask them where they don't have forces.
- [ ] Ask if you can enter Bowser's Keep and interview some of the residents.
- Go somewhere else.

[ ] Other?