A Storm Of Blood (A Warhammer 40K/Hellsing Quest)

"Oh to Hell with this place," You say, stretching your nonexistent muscles. "Adam Jr, Seras, Hesperax, Edge-Lady, do you know any elf boys or girls who would be interested in oh I don't know..." Doing an on point dramatic pause, you mimic the appearance of thinking before continuing. "...Going on a road trip to Earth?" Aesdra seemed to be utterly confused, Khan was busy cutting off stray hairs with his makeshift sword, and Lelith was talking with Seras.

After a few moments of waiting, Lelith began taking steps towards you. "I might know of a few, if you'd like to invite more than one partner." Oooooh ho ho ho, now you're feeling it.

Sweeping her up in a hug, you were really happy for a few moments. "Lelith darling I could just kiss you!" A few moments into the hug, you felt (and heard) the sound of your nethers being stabbed. Doing a double take and and maybe a calming breath or two, you calmly began to re-enact that scene in one of your favorite movies.

"Is there a knife in my-"

"Yes, now let me go." While you were hoping she'd at least let you finish, it seems that she's going to be the one wearing the pants here. Not that you didn't mind, you just wanted a ride home...

And maybe a bit more...

...

Lelith had lead you and the gang to a large shipyard, or what looked to be one in this crack den of a city. Even their ships had edge, which was a bit stupid. Oh what are they going to do? Run them over in a plane? But that wasn't important, as a large group of very...lovely dressed knife-ears appeared. Some with wings, others with an appendage with a blade, you were more excited than Michael Bay in an Explosions Show.

Your new friend spoke to them in the crack-tongue you've heard before, when you woke up. In the mean time, you were picking at a few parts of your body that still felt fresh and itchy. Seras was busy talking with Aesdra, and Pip finally showed up. That...Now that was a surprise, you thought he died in the battle of Britain.

Aesdra seemed surprised as well, jumping nearly a few feet in the air. Jaghatai nearly took a sword to Seras, but after firing Casull in the air everyone seemed to calm down.

Hesperax returned, giving you a smile. "Our allies are willing, now, are you ready to cause some mayhem?" Oh, now she's talking about real fun! You thought this would never happen, and now it is. After turning to your new lackeys, you noticed that they were wearing red and black. Ah, all men like you need an army of lackeys with class like yours.

Could do without the flayed skin and spikes though...

Thinking of a good speech, you get the attention of your new crew. "Attention, Adam Jr., Seras, Edge-Lady, Hesperax, and Knife Ears everywhere!" You bellowed, smiling. "Today we're going on a road trip, to fuck with Adam Nathema!" A chorus of cheers rose from them, and you were ready to go, until Lelith stopped you.

Raising an eyebrow towards her, she spoke. "Aren't you going to name your Kabal...Archon?" Oooooh, now this is going to be perfect. Your own road trip and complementary roadies!

Now what to call yourselves?

...

[] Name them the...
-[] Kabal Of The...

...

Now that you were on board a ship full of alien wine, beer, and whatever else, you were ready to kick back and relax. Maybe have a bit of a snort of the local cuisine, or read a magazine.

You're the boss here, now where to go...

...

[] Ask...
-[] Jaghatai, he's pretty knowledgeable.
-[] Lelith or Aesdra, they know the best spots to party.
-[] Seras, trust your kid protege

[] Write In...

This is the only time you'll take them seriously, since they're your roadies and you're bored. That, and the Kabal of the Bird of Hermes sounds like one hell of a badass name. Who knows, this could be a good venture. Once you get the hell out of here, you'll be able to find Adam and get back to dicking around. Maybe go for a walk, if he's still alive.

Once you boarded the ship, it disappeared into a slip of light. It was a bit trippy looking at it, but better than nothing.

...

Clapping your hands together, the party on board was in full swing. Some were drinking, others snorting, and some even dancing. It was just like Vegas! Or Hollywood, depending on the time period. Though you won't admit it, this was actually just what you needed. Some babes, booze, and you're about to meet an old friend after so long.

Today was great, or was it night?

Before you could figure that out, you shoved it off and decided to focus on the task at hand. Turning it Jaghatai, you decided to see what happened over the years.

"So what the fuck am I looking at Speedy, and more importantly how much has your old man fucked up I NEEED to know" You asked, a mad grin beginning to form on your face. Adam probably fucked up badly, but you neeeeeeeeed to hear it. Just how bad did he fuck up? Was it like shattering the moon bad, or something else?

Jaghatai sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose before speaking. "Well, last time I checked," He began. "Father was on the Golden Throne, and the Imperium began worshiping him as some sort of god." There was a slight pause as you computed that, and it was hilarious. The world's most staunch atheist, now worshiped as a god?

Priceless!

It was almost too much to handle, but laughter escaped your lips anyways. This was probably his biggest fuck up since giving the Church the Enhanced Human Project, and that was something you personally experienced.

Once you finished laughing, you turned to Seras to ask her what she thought of where to go. "So kid, where do you want to go first?" She thought it over for a bit, before answering.

"Earth, since I know fuck all about the rest of the universe." Good answer, and now time to talk with Hesperax until the ride is over. Might have some dinner and a show on the way to Earth, and maybe something more if you want.

Oh well, time to have some fun.

...

There was a crashing sound as your ship impacted something, and you woke up from whatever you were sleeping in. "The fuck was that?" Shifting into a more comfortable form, you realized that your ship just crash landed right in front of a golden palace. You thought the cathedrals were opulent, but this was a bit overkill.

Well, it's time to meet your favorite atheist...

...But it seems someone is stopping you, who is it?

[] It's...
-[] A golden banana guard, Adventure Time's still got a nice following. (Kitten)
-[] A group of people dressed in armor and carrying weapons, some sort of cross is with them. (Inquisition)
-[] DEAR GOD YOUR EYES, WHAT ARE THEY? (Fabstodes)

[] Write In...