So You've Been Hit By A Truck

IT'S ALIVE!

[X] Head straight to the brothel and start some shit [Destiny +]

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You were not feeling being around this Lei-Lei chick and her creepy sack gimp any longer. Given Heiyou's worried chuffing and tugging on your arm, neither was she.

"Fine," you spit, "I'll get your 1000 HL."

Lei-Lei gives you a smile that doesn't reach her eyes. "And you shall have your training. Good luck, grasshopper." She says grasshopper like a lizard would, looking at a meal.

You and Heiyou leave, side by side. She's watching your back, you catch her growling at Sack Guy as you leave. You mumble an apology to her for all this; you didn't think some random shrine maiden would be such a psycho.

Once you've left the grounds, a weight leaves your shoulders. To be honest, you were scared shitless of Lei-Lei. She had that real bad Yak cleaner feel to her, the kind of person who sees others as insects to be exterminated. You hated those kind of people. Still do. So did Aneki. If she were here, you were home, the two of you'd relish beating humility into her.

But you aren't home and Aneki isn't here. You're a newbie to this, so eating a little shit is to be expected. You just need to rank up; shitty as it is, Lei-Lei's given you your best option right now. You didn't know about this Carp-face dude, but if he was legit, he would be a great measuring stick. If you struggle, then you need her training. If you mop the floor with him, you'll feel more confident improving your rep at her expense.

Heiyou tugs on your sleeve. "Honey seem happy."

"I get happy when I think about kicking ass."

"Butts. Make Heiyou happy too!" Heiyou smiles broadly, eyes trailing down and behind you.

You blush, shaking your head, and dash to the brothel. Heiyou keeps pace a step behind. Embarrassment brought to boil, you bust down the brothel's double doors with a flying kick.

"WHICH ONE OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS IS CARP-FACE TOHRU?" You take a Jeet Kune Do ready stance, nose flick and all.

[Destiny +1!]

The brothel's eyes are on you now; a certain silver haired killer pixie's included.

"Hi Lulu!" Heiyou waves to said pixie.

"Heiyou? Fool?" Louise points to her massive stein. "I'm in the middle of something, here. Please be stupid somewhere else."

Heiyou chides Louise. "Lulu. No drink alone. Heiyou and Honey. Make show for Lulu!"

Louise frowns, head resting on her stein. "Heiyou, I came here to get away from the clownshow." Her cheeks are ruddy with inebriation.

Before you can retort or apologize, a massive man emerges from the second floor balcony, glaring down on you like a hedonistic Buddha. He's draped in women, wearing loose britches and a Pollock painting for an opened robe. He's covered in tattoos, except for his broad, flat face. Bulbous lips, greasy, ruddy hair and unkempt wiskers make him look like his namesake.

He shifts one of the women over his shoulder to take a pull from a gourd as wide as your waist. You notice the woman isn't wearing clothing. "Who dares disturb my honorable self?"

[How Do You Respond?]
[ ] Camille Asuka. Take it with you to the grave.
[ ] You don't deserve to know my name.
[ ] Magical Girl of Love and Hate, Absolute Goku☆Doll Acchan!
[ ] Pull out your Red Dragon Pistol and shoot him [Cost 1 Destiny]

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By a country mile.

[X] "I am the Magical Girl of Love and Hate, Absolute Goku☆Doll Acchan."

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The logical part of you says to shoot this fool and shake him down, Indiana Jones style. But logic isn't your strong suit. It sure as shit isn't your strong suit when you have so many people watching you, waiting for you to make a move.

The sight of women being tossed around triggers something deep and primal within you. Even in this world, even in this form, you know what you must do. Your body moves with effortless grace.

"I am the Magical Girl of Love and Hate," you do a slow kata, face flushed with excitement. "Absolute Goku☆Doll Acchan." With a wink and a kiss, you chamber a kick and strike a pose; showing off your legs, thighs and butt. "Prepare yourself~♡"

Eternity stretches before you as eyes are drawn to places you feel they really shouldn't. Four words burn in your mind, obliterating all else.

I WANNA FUCKIN' DIE!

You didn't think it was possible to be this embarrassed. It hits you like a physical blow. You don't want to fight, you want to crawl into a hole and disappear. If there were a truck, you might just run into it, take your chances in another world.

[Camille takes 1 Stress!]



[Camille Success!]

You squeeze your eyes shut and shudder, still holding the pose. You can't drop The Pose, it's against the Magical Girl Code. The place is quiet, everyone transfixed by what they just saw.

Carp-face Tohru is the first to speak, his voice bowling over the silence. "You're a little masculine for my tastes, but you have a good face, girlie. Honest."

The air returns to the room, a torrent of catcalls and jeering with it. A distinctly higher pitched laughing is mixed in with it. Sure enough, Louise is laughing her ass off; her little legs waggle wildly.

"Fuck, could you sound like more of a H-antagonist?" You spit. "Next you're gonna say 'I bet your body's as honest as your face'."

"Haitchi...an terrorist?" He laughs like crashing waves. "So you're a foreign girl too?" He licks his bulbous lips; it looks like a snail poking out of its shell. "It's always good to try new things."

You feel your embarrassment turn to disgust and drop your pose, falling into a more natural ready stance. "Well you're gonna taste sole soon enough."

He laughs again, his aura flaring. The women draped on him shudder and scream, weak silver qi flowing into him. They melt and slough off him. His stomach tattoos, a turtle and snake intertwined, ripple with fat and energy. His aura is oil-slick black, you can feel the sleaze from here. It's stronger than anyone you've ever felt, it gets stronger the more he pulls from his girls.

You draw Grandfather Gun from your back with a flourish, clearing the air with your own qi. "In the name of this gun," you point it between his eyes "I will punish you."

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[How Do You Start?]
[ ] Cautious. Feel him out, see what he can do. [Cunning Trap activates]
[ ] Aggressive. Rush him down before he does something stupid. [Against All Tyrants activates]
[ ] Phone a Friend. No honor among thieves.
-[ ] Heiyou
-[ ] Louise
[ ] Shoot him now. You got your introductions done. [Fire Attack vs Water Cultivation]

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