Dragon Harem Quest - Or: Saying You Were Gay Wasn't The Conversation-Ender You Hoped For

You are a dragon. Perhaps the new people swarming into your life have been forgetting that in recent days -hell you've been forgetting it yourself, the way you've been blindsided again and again- but today that ends! You refuse to be intimidated by a flock of angry geese, no matter how violent and mutated they are, and more to the point Abzu is watching so it's time they saw what you can really do. Every muscle in your body swells against the armoured scales keeping them contained, shifting and slithering as you grow. Bones crunching dully as they reshape within you, joints locking into new configurations, taloned feet sinking deeper and deeper into the springy cloud beneath as you grow heavier. You grow, rise, taller and taller, quadrupedal stance pitching you forward but you arrest your fall, massive foreclaws gripping the tops of the cloud-walls either side as if they were no more than the sides of a bath. You lift yourself up with the barest effort and tower above the flock, above the maze, above it all. It stretches on infinitely in all directions, an endless sea of fluffy white cloud and brilliant blue sky, the sun shining down bright like a brilliant white coin. The cloud-walls beneath your foreclaws dip dangerously with your new mass, but they hold.

You loom over the oncoming swarm at the size of a building, a wide grin stretching from ear to ear, showing off every single one of your many fangs. You doubt the geese have the mental capacity to realise the mistake they've made, but you swear you see a few slow their mad charge all the same. Oh well. Too late for them.

You lunge your head forward and bathe the corridor in a roiling wave of sizzling, keening, crackling lightning. Brilliant blue-white bolts forking and zig-zagging madly, tangled and squirming over each other like a colony of angular snakes, blinding all but the strongest of eyes with its light and deafening all but strongest ears with its earsplitting thunderclap. The clear blue sky itself seems to dim in recognition of its brilliance, the smell of storms and roasted goosemeat filling the air as you track your breath all the way from the head of the pack to the last few stragglers. Consuming them all in your light and your fury.

You snap your jaws shut like a gargantuan steel trap, cutting off the flow of lightning and leaving what remains of your foes to smoke and sizzle. It was overkill, you'll admit that. You haven't topped up in a while and the expenditure's left you with a dull pressure throbbing uncomfortably behind your eyes, but you can handle it. It was all worth it for the sake of showing the true, overwhelming power of a dragon. You find yourself grinning with glee as you track the massive scorch-mark you left, the carbonised lumps that used to be dire geese, all the little intricacies in the burns left by the lesser forks of the roiling storm you unleashed. And there, down on ground level, already so small and even smaller now by comparison, is Abzu. Sheltered in the shadow of your right foreleg, holding up a [Good lord] sign where you can see.

You throw your head back and let out a good old-fashioned earsplitting draconic roa-

CLONK

"Ow what the f-uck?-"

You recoil, instinctively yanking your foreclaw up to cradle your recently-thumped head. You glare accusingly up at the sky only to see... see what should be nothing but open air but now that you're looking close, well and truly up close with this new height and neck-length you swear there's a little mark in mid-air, almost like a smudge where your scaly brow collided. You press your foreclaw to the sky and find-

"This- this is a ceiling!" you exclaim, more offended that the dungeon would dare restrict your draconic majesty than shocked to find that the brilliant cloudy masterpiece stretching out before you is mere trickery.

Then you realise you've left all your weight resting on your left foreclaw and while the surprisingly-dense cloud can handle a lot, it can't work miracles. "WUAH" you cry as it collapses beneath you and you pitch left, thrashing and rolling madly as you do everything in your power to avoid falling on your sprained wing in the half-second of conscious thought you're allotted.

The maze rumbles and shakes as you roll over and over, crushing walls in your wake, striking out with all five limbs for some kind of handhold, one wing drawn up tight against your body, the other flapping just because it can. One minute the whole world is spinning and the next you come to a ponderous stop, splayed out on your chest in what seems to be the central chamber of the maze, bottom half awkwardly held up by what cloud-walls are left, hind legs and tail askew. A plinth lies before you, exquisitely framed between your splayed foreclaws, almost dead-on with your snout. Atop this plinth, embedded in said plinth in fact, is a staff made of some dark-undertoned metal with a kind of golden-iridescent sheen to it, tipped with an angular ornamental head that reminds you somewhat of Makram's lamp. You take one breath and your nostrils are flooded with the scent of magic.

You imagine your pupils dilating to a pair of thin black slits as you drag yourself forward by your claws, shifting down mid-motion until your bipedal form is picking itself off the ground and stumbling up the few shallow steps between you and your prize. You kick away the skeleton clinging to the base and yank it free with barely an effort, holding your prize aloft with palpable glee.

fwoomp

The floor suddenly vanishes beneath you, and before you even have time to process what happened you land again. You're left confused mostly, blinking and looking down at your feet where they stand planted on something a lot less springy and yielding than the magical cloud you were just on. It mostly just looks like... flat, polished, blued alloy?

You lift your gaze and not a trace of the maze remains. You stand in a metal-plated cube of a room, maybe 25 metres each side, featureless but for the scorch marks where your lightning burned through even the illusion stretched over it like a hide, lit by nothing but the grey twilight that darkness becomes to your eyes. You turn in a complete circle, brow furrowed in confusion as you scan the room, but all you see is Abzu approaching and one very lost and confused snowy goose HONKing in consternation at the corner it's found itself stuck in. You turn away so that it can preserve at least some small measure of dignity and face Abzu instead, still clutching the staff.

[Well that was...] [Unexpected] they sign at last.

"Yeah no kidding," you say, casting one more glance around the darkened, silent (HONK okay 'somewhat') room. "That can't have just been an illusion, can it? I mean sure I hit the limits eventually but you saw me touching the clouds, those were definitely solid."

[Perhaps the answer lies in that control rod you've got there.] [May I see it?]

You don't say 'but it's mine though' out loud. You just think it very, very hard. You look down at the staff in your hands, back up at Abzu, back down at the staff. Back up at Abzu with a look that impresses upon them just how seriously they should take handling a dragon's rightfully-claimed prize. "... fine. But I want it back!"

[Don't worry! I like my staff anyway.] They politely pluck the stolen staff from your hands and rest their own against their shoulder, falling 'silent' as they turn the precursor artefact this way and that, poking and prodding at anything that looks mildly interesting with gloved fingers that trail golden traceries of light. Finishing the analysis isn't the hard part - it's trying to free one hand to start signing again without dropping anything. You feel like stepping in to help would come off patronising so you wait patiently.

[It's just conjecture at this point but I think it's related to djinn lamps] they sign, their actual staff tucked into the crook of their arm. [It makes illusions, but special kinds of illusion with actual mass and weight according to what they're mimicking.]

"Like what?"

[I don't know yet! I just picked it up, I'm not the god of magic ]

"Yeah, well... can I have it back now?" you ask, trying not to get all furtive and desperate about it. Abzu flashes you a [;P] sign because they can't help themselves (the bastard) but hands your rightful prize back all the same. You shiver with glee to have it in your hands again, sucking in one more heavy sniff to catch the scent of its power. You hold up one talon for Abzu to wait and turn away, tipping your head back as far as it will go and slowly feeding the entire length straight down your throat like a chicken bone for safekeeping. You smack your lips contentedly as it drops the rest of the way.

[No gag reflex huh?]

"What?"

[What?]

You stare at Abzu. They stare back innocently.

HWONK goes the lost goose in the corner.

After a long moment of silence you experimentally pat your stomach, testing how the relic sits within. The shape and size are a little awkward, but on the whole you think you can last 'til you're back at your hoard just fine. Then it can go on the pile with all the other artefacts of power.

[There's no way that could fit inside you if all you did was swallow it] Abzu observes out of nowhere. [Does your stomach have some kind of extradimensional quality?] [I mean you're already doing the impossible by drastically changing your mass between true form and this one.] [Ooh does your stomach stay the same size as your true form or something!?]

"I-i don't-?" you stammer to a start, mind reeling once more at all the questions about your own body Abzu forces you to think about. "I don't... get as hungry as I do in my true form so-"

[Oh and dietary requirements I really want to see how you metabolise lightning] [I think all the cutting-edge 'electricity' stuff uses things called circuits that look a lot like your markings!]

They go to raise yet another sign, only to pause halfway through. They drop their gaze, arm dipping down only to rise with a slightly different sign. [And that will all have to wait.] [Sorry but I just realised I've still got two free-standing portals left to make and those are draining.]

"Oh? Oh, right. Back to the spire and then back to your tower," you say. "How draining do you mean? Will you be alright?"

[Oh yeah I'll be fine! No worse than a bad headache.] [It's that I'll be too distracted to get any work done is all.] They pause a moment, then sidle a little closer to you with a strange sort of light in their pure white eyes. [It was really cool watching you cut loose like that, y'know.] [I've seen your true form before but I've never seen it like that.]

"It was nothing," you reply, as cool and aloof as you always are. "As you saw yourself, the illusory trap itself that attempted to ensnare us was no match for my full might."

[Oh and what might it was!] [Just one burst from your breath was stronger than any spell I could possibly hope to make] [I knew already I had nothing to fear when adventuring with you but to think you would prove me so right!]

You preen smugly, worrying away at some imaginary dirt in the cracks of your scales with your clawtips, smoothing back your many-pointed golden-yellow horns. "I suppose an analytical mind like yourself would appreciate hard confirmation of things the whole world knows is obviously true," you say modestly.

[I won't lie, it was pretty sexy.]

"I'll sa- what?"

You double-take, staring down at Abzu's upturned face as if searching the near-featureless blank blob for some sign of their intentions. They oblige a moment later with a proudly-upheld [:3] sign. You clear your throat loudly in a closed fist and seize control of the conversation.

"Right so I must ask, the portals you make, is the strain distance-based or just the act of opening one?"

[Both, basically] they sign back. [There's an initial cost to opening a portal, physical distance just makes it worse.] [So I'd wipe myself out teleporting between rooms trying to be lazy.] [Ultimately stopping at your place to drop you off is probably easier than portalling straight home.]

"I see, I see," you say, scratching your armoured chin. "In that case may I make a proposition?"

[Shoot!]

"I have a little business in Söfnun I'd rather take care of sooner rather than later, but with my wing situation who knows when I'll be well enough to head out and handle that myself. Would you like to take us both into the city for now, and then stay the night at the spire when I need to return?" you ask. "It only seems fair, you let me stay overnight at the tower when we first met."

[] Abzu reaches out and snags your hand again, lacing their gloved fingers together with your claws and squeezing. [Sounds like a date!]

"A-ah, good! Well then!" You feel strangely hot under the scales, but you find yourself squeezing back instinctively. You scratch your chin again, hoping to cover the burning need to let out a little laugh (not a 'giggle') with the sound of your talons raking over your armour. "Since we'll be in town I'll happily pay for- wait do you eat?"

[Probably!] Abzu glances down. [We should probably bring the skeletons too.]

"Skeletons? What-" you glance down at what they're looking at. The one that was clinging to the base of the staff before you dispelled the illusion is still there. "-oh right those skeletons. Yes that seems fair."

After all you did do one of the League's available dungeons unsanctioned just because you were bored. Bringing back the remains of the lost pioneers only seems polite. Abzu casts a spell which suffuses the skeletons in golden shrouds, 'animating' each bone individually to create a pair of jiggling uncanny nightmares that you quickly advise them will not send the right impression when walking in through the front door of an Adventurer's Guild. Seeming a touch despondent but conceding your point, they stuff the bones in a small sack of holding instead.

On your part, as you step through the freshly-created portal into a back-alley of Söfnun, you finally work out what happens when you shift down into a form with no wings while one of yours is sprained. It's the weirdest sensation you've ever had the misfortune of experiencing in your life and in your Lord Elding guise it manifests as an incredibly uncomfortable knot in your back muscles that takes everything in your power to ignore.

The first part goes fairly smoothly. Ilyana may be far from happy to hear about the deaths of two adventurers, but you've heard about enough expedition casualties secondhand to know full well it doesn't shock her any more. She only thanks you for thinking to bring back the remains before the Beyond could change and scatter them to the winds forever. Having Abzu with you to say [Hi!] and introduce themselves probably helped smooth things over too.

Regardless, you unleash yourself and Abzu upon the city. It's not quite the full day of shopping and fun that you might have suggested had you thought of it this morning, and the energy the pair of you have already expended on your little adventure up north does dull the mood somewhat, but not completely. You're almost productive! You pick up a pair of beef skewers on the way to the Plutocracy quarter, witnessing Abzu simply thrusting the entire thing into their face and pulling the skewer back out clean. You buy them some tonic or another formulated to counteract spellcaster exhaustion with a lightning bolt etched into the side of the bottle and watch them 'drink' that by just sticking the neck into their mouth-area without any discernable lips, tip their head back and chug down the bright blue fluid like water passing through soil to reach a plant's roots. They sign [Thank you, I feel a lot better ] and you find yourself smiling without meaning to.

On the business side of things, you put your recently-lost-and-won financial security and working arrangement with Plutocracy contractors to good use. You finally buy a sending stone like you've been meaning to for a few years - the saleswoman tries to upsell you by talking about how this kind has fingerprint locking like you both don't already know you don't even have fingerprints if you can help it - and make sure it's attuned to the contract office first thing. An arrangement to have the kitchen stocked regularly here, a deal to spruce up the outside of the spire too there, getting a head start on personalising everyone's rooms on the side, you're certain you must look very impressive and connected to Abzu which only spurs you on.

In all the excitement you lose track of time. By the time Abzu conjures the portal back into your spire the sun is starting to set, casting the secluded alley it occupies into steadily-deepening shadow highlighted with flame-gold, and you for one are very much ready to pass out atop your treasure. Maybe even wake up with a fixed wing. You stride across the threshold hand in hand and emerge to find the main cavern empty but for Jun-ho - what else? - sitting with the blobby familiar having the time of his life. Maybe you should invest in a cat or three, it seems like he'd appreciate them too.

"Hey!" he calls as he notices your arrival, springing to his feet and carrying the familiar over in his cupped palms. "How'd it go? You were gone a little longer than I expected."

"Mee-ma-mo!" the familiar squeaks in agreement.

"Ah," you say, face falling a little, "I got very wrapped up in business and forgot to mention the extension." You hold up your brand new sending stone by way of explanation. "So I don't have to return to town for every minute detail any more. In very short order the kitchen and pantry will be fully stocked and the proper personalisation of everyone's rooms can commence!"

"Ah, speaking of room decorating," Jun-ho says suddenly. "Don't worry about Lyrros, he headed straight into his room to do that personally and he hasn't been out all day."

"Yeah that sounds like him," you reply. You glance back at Abzu, and the day's festivities bring another memory flooding back. "Ah. I feel the need to apologise once again for our last outing, Jun-ho. Today was a lot more successful and we should arrange to make up for that at some point."

"Oh don't worry about it!" Jun-ho says with a wave of his hand. "I mean- well yeah on the one hand it was pretty stressful and frightening. But on the other we got to meet Datu and his sister! So it wasn't all bad. But um... I would like to go out with you again sometime soon, yeah."

"It's settled then," you say.

Jun-ho looks at Abzu. "Your familiar is really cute," he says.

[Aw thanks. So are you :3]

"O-oh, well that was- I mean- (eehee)," Jun-ho stammers, barely hiding his happy smile. He doesn't leave so much as practically abscond at the first opportunity, as if in fear of what another round of flirting would do to him. Or perhaps he's making room for you and Abzu? You're not sure, and you feel a twinge of something you can't quite place. Tomorrow, you decide. Tomorrow you'll tell everyone about your plans whether or not Datu's shown up and get everything out in the open.

[You've got great taste in guys, going by who the map's picked] Abzu comments.

"Oh shush you," you say, no real malice in your voice. "I'll show you to your room. Or at least try to find you a spare one. (Should get some nameplates and a noticeboard done up at this rate mumblegrumble...)"

You stop and hack up the staff you've been carrying in your stomach for half the day into your hoard before you forget. It's mostly a lot of laboured breathing and false starts until eventually it shoots free like a hurled spear and buries itself halfway into the pile. You're satisfied nonetheless.

It takes a lot of false starts, knocking on doors and listening intently for a response, a lot of awkward half-conversations as you explain your goal and Abzu says [Hi!], one declaration through the door from Makram that he will be entertaining no visitors tonight, muffled music and brightly-flashing lights filtering through the cracks of Lyrros', before finally you find the unoccupied one you were looking for.

"Bed, bathroom, all this can be changed," you explain, pointing out the various features of the admittedly bland guest room. "Write down any suggestions you have, don't feel limited in the slightest, bring things over from the tower even if you want. Any questions?"

Abzu rests their staff up against the wall beside their bed and sits down heavily on the edge. They bounce. You suspect they'd keep bouncing if they didn't have other things on their mind. They glance up at you, and despite their rudimentary features you swear they were half-expecting you to already be gone from the doorway.

[I had a lot of fun today, y'know.]

"Of course you did," you say dismissively. "I only choose the most exotic and intriguing of locales for my day trips, and you had nothing to fear so long as I-"

Abzu holds up a sign. It has no words on it, just a drawing of a person of ambiguous gender quirking their eyebrows up with a distinctly unimpressed expression. It somehow conveys the emotion of 'really?' far better than any number of words could allow.

"-I... had fun too," you finish sheepishly.

[What'cha got planned?] they ask. [Tonight, tomorrow, etc.]

"Ah. Well tonight I was just thinking an early night, let my wing finish healing and all that," you reply, tapping your talons against the carved stone doorway. "Tomorrow? I'm not sure if Datu will be showing up that early, but my fingers are crossed. Nevertheless I'm going to gather everyone in the main cavern and discuss how things are going to proceed. It will be..." a hairline fracture in your words as the full enormity of trying to convince everyone that a polyamorous relationship can and will work crashes down on you like a shipment of anvils "... stimulating."

[You like 'em all, don'tcha? :3]

You grimace briefly, but there's even less point in hiding it now than ever before. "I do have... feelings for everyone at this spire, yes. And I discussed what to do about said feelings with Belial a short time ago. Consider it a particularly grand experiment."

[No no, not that.] [Well I mean yes that's exciting too but] [What I meant was just now with Jun-ho, y'know?] Abzu wriggles a little further up the edge of the bed. [He didn't seem like an afterthought. You'd just gotten back with me but you jumped right to worrying about he felt.]

"That seems a little generous an assessment," you say, wondering where Abzu is going with this.

[I'm saying it's sweet, silly. Seeing you care.]

You don't really know how to respond to that. You scratch at the cracks between your scales and avert your eyes, lips twisted up into an S-shape. One of these days your boyfriends and other will stop saying things that knock you all off-balance, but today is not that day.

You hear the sound of footfalls, and a gentle tap on the shoulder. You look up - oh, idiot, Abzu can't talk to you when you aren't looking at them, it's just so ingrained it slipped your mind for a moment. You open your mouth to apologise but Abzu presses a gloved finger to your lips, shushing you.

[Can I ask you something?] they ask.

"What's the occasion? You've never needed permission before," you remark.

They silently giggle. [Okay that's fair.] Their expression grows more serious. [I wanted to ask you something a little more important than all the other asking I do is all.] [And make sure you know that any answer is fine, y'know?]

"Of... course?" you reply slowly, the barest inkling of what Abzu means beginning to sprout in the back of your mind while the rest of you lurches and staggers just to keep up. A soft-edged, cross-hatched white blush slowly spreads across their cheeks as they wrap both hands around the next sign they raise.

[Do you want to sleep with me tonight?]

It's not the question itself that's the most surprising thing, not really. It's how you feel about the question. You know in your rational mind that you should be reeling as if punched, sputtering, stammering, making excuses and running, whatever worst-case-scenarios you can conjure up. But you aren't. It's disarming, oh by every god you can name it's disarming, but you're merely silent. Merely thinking about it. That cage deep inside you is unlocked and what lies inside has pricked up its ears. It's not ravenous any more. Just hungry.

[I hope I haven't upset you!]

"No! No, no you haven't upset me," you reassure them quickly. "I promise you haven't it's only... I need to think."

[Hey, sure. Think away ]

You smile slightly, averting your eyes so you don't distract yourself staring at Abzu, and you think. Is... is this alright? Is this what you want? Is this what you need? Is this the right thing to do? Absurd as it is, you almost wish you could step out of the room and ask Belial. But, dammit what kind of self-respecting dragon would back down from a question like this? It's your answer to give and you should own it proudly. That sounds a bit like something Belial would say.

[ ] Say yes. Explain to them what you intend with the greater relationship as clearly as you can and... well... let whatever happens, happen.
[ ] Accept in the more literal sense. Explain that you don't feel comfortable getting that physical at this stage, but sharing a bed does sound... interesting to try.
[ ] Refuse. Explain that you don't feel comfortable going this fast at this stage, but that in no way means 'never'.