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Dragon Harem Quest - Or: Saying You Were Gay Wasn't The Conversation-Ender You Hoped For

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I haven't even finished and this is wonderful already.
Takara is hillarious, her constant teasing is clearly not something Eldingar can deal with.
I wonder if everyone actaully knows who Eldingar is or she is speaking hyperbolie.
It would fit for Eldinger if he fucked up the double identity.
ZerbanDaGreat said:
"I am not shocked I just need a few moments to adjust!" you protest. You pause, shooting her one more dubious look. "So you're... not a woman?"

"Nope."
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GO ON
Potential genderlessbando.
...wel not genderless, I am getting genderfluid vibes.
But still, if Takara is on the map both me, Takara and Mekram wil have a good ol' laugh.
Edit: Welp I just realised that Eldingars human name is Elding
I feel dumb right now.
Also I love Eldingar and has total lack of social skill and adorable obession with gold.
Because its fucking hillarious how he reacts to it.
If one of the husbando's is a sapient gold pile Eldingar wil be so happy.
Or a gold golem or something.
 
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[X] The gold. Fuck it. Just start grabbing dripping clawfuls and shoving them in the bag, you're a thief for a night so you will abscond with a literal sackful of money!
--[X] Write-in: Roll around in the gold before anybody takes it

Sadly one bag doesn't appear to hold enough to properly roll around in; how inadequate! Will settle for proper 'rolling in dough' jokes for one update before we divvy up gold, I suppose.
 
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NemoMarx said:
I think Abzu is agender and they're bigender or fluid, yeah. Or that's the vibe?

I hope they join the hoard though, they have excellent tastes.
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Eldingar wants to hoard gold, but he also hoards husbando's
Entirely on accident.
Stars I love this dork.
But yeah Takara is quite wonderful, it wouldn't suprise me if she joins the hoard.
And, again, if Takara finds out that she on the boyfriend-detector she is just going to look Eldingar in eyes and LAUGH
 
[x] The bearer bonds. The idea disgusts you as a dragon on every conceivable level, but Takara does have a point that it's more value per pound, and by design you can use them for whatever the fuck you want by virtue of holding them in your hand.
-[X] Find one particularly interesting magic item too, just because. Oh, and this glorious diamond!
 
*points finger at @ZerbanDaGreat*

VERILY, I HATH OBSERVERD WHAT THOU HAST ACCOMPLISHED WITHIN THIS LOCALITY

You, sir, have shamelessly ripped off Batman: Arkham City/Knight.


(It was the video-gamey Bat-ice-grenades that sealed all doubt, you see.)


As for the vote, my choice is:

[X] The magic items. Sniff it out with that beautiful dragon nose of yours and stuff it all in the bag. What's valuable will be worth a lot and what's not will at least entertain you with its gimmicks.


There are two important reasons for my vote. The first is that magical items have been hilarious so far.

The second is that it sends a message to the Rossos: don't fuck with Lord Elding.

Those items are very, very distinguishable - the moment Eldingar and his subordinates fence the items on the street, the Rossos will realize that Lord Elding was the one who stole from their treasury. And that means he was able to sneak past all their defences, plunge their house into a chaotic blackout, and rob them of some of their greatest treasures as if it was nothing. And that was him being subtle - who knows what the dragon* would elect to do if he ever elected to truly go on the warpath?

*And the Rossos do know that Lord Elding is a dragon - Takara told us that it is an open secret in Sofnun.
Adhoc vote count started by Mechasaurian on May 22, 2018 at 11:10 AM, finished with 20 posts and 11 votes.
  • [x] The bearer bonds. The idea disgusts you as a dragon on every conceivable level, but Takara does have a point that it's more value per pound, and by design you can use them for whatever the fuck you want by virtue of holding them in your hand.
    [X] The magic items. Sniff it out with that beautiful dragon nose of yours and stuff it all in the bag. What's valuable will be worth a lot and what's not will at least entertain you with its gimmicks.
    [X] The gold. Fuck it. Just start grabbing dripping clawfuls and shoving them in the bag, you're a thief for a night so you will abscond with a literal sackful of money!
    [X] The gold. Fuck it. Just start grabbing dripping clawfuls and shoving them in the bag, you're a thief for a night so you will abscond with a literal sackful of money!
    --[X] Write-in: Roll around in the gold before anybody takes it
    [x] The bearer bonds. The idea disgusts you as a dragon on every conceivable level, but Takara does have a point that it's more value per pound, and by design you can use them for whatever the fuck you want by virtue of holding them in your hand.
    -[X] Find one particularly interesting magic item too, just because. Oh, and this glorious diamond!
Click to expand...
 
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[X] The bearer bonds. The idea disgusts you as a dragon on every conceivable level, but Takara does have a point that it's more value per pound, and by design you can use them for whatever the fuck you want by virtue of holding them in your hand.
 
ZerbanDaGreat said:
"Sweetheart..." They shift their hand down and pat your chest, just over your heart as they lower their voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "(Your true name is Eldingar and your elf disguise is named Lord Elding. Everyone in the city knows.)"

You make a face like they just pried your ribs open and took a shit inside of your chest. You helplessly splutter out a few false starts to a sentence you don't know the end or middle of.
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*sigh* He's really not so good at being a dragon.
 
[X] The magic items. Sniff it out with that beautiful dragon nose of yours and stuff it all in the bag. What's valuable will be worth a lot and what's not will at least entertain you with its gimmicks.

Magic items are interesting and could lead to good stuff, and I want literally anything except the bearer bonds.

Good update. Thank you for pandering to me, specifically, with the catsuits.
 
[X] The magic items. Sniff it out with that beautiful dragon nose of yours and stuff it all in the bag. What's valuable will be worth a lot and what's not will at least entertain you with its gimmicks.
 
ZerbanDaGreat said:
"Sweetheart..." They shift their hand down and pat your chest, just over your heart as they lower their voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "(Your true name is Eldingar and your elf disguise is named Lord Elding. Everyone in the city knows.)"
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Oh noooooooooooooooooooooooo.

ZerbanDaGreat said:
"Prepare for aerial insertion!" Takara declares proudly.

"Stop. It."
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Don't stop.

I officially apologize to the entire thread for voting against this course of action after the last update.

[X] The bearer bonds. The idea disgusts you as a dragon on every conceivable level, but Takara does have a point that it's more value per pound, and by design you can use them for whatever the fuck you want by virtue of holding them in your hand.
 
ZerbanDaGreat said:
"Sweetheart..." They shift their hand down and pat your chest, just over your heart as they lower their voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "(Your true name is Eldingar and your elf disguise is named Lord Elding. Everyone in the city knows.)"
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Is anyone surprised? Please, someone, insert surprise here.

ZerbanDaGreat said:
"(I... walk digitigrade in this form anyway,)" you answer with a shrug. "(It's really a sideways step if anything.)"
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Huh. Advantages!

ZerbanDaGreat said:
No, bad Eldingar. No getting distracted just because they don't have breasts any more, you are not that easy to please. You are a classy and distinguishing dragon of wealth and taste and you will not salivate over any half-masculine rear in sight even if it is vacuum-sealed in rubber.
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I'm having Batman movie flashbacks.

You know the one.

ZerbanDaGreat said:
This heist has made you feel a lot of very weird things and you'd like to go home now.
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I'm so glad we voted for this option.

I'll admit I was kind of expecting a more multi-length heist sequence with a planning vote but no duh what self-respecting thief would offer planning input to Eldringar good call.

[X] The magic items. Sniff it out with that beautiful dragon nose of yours and stuff it all in the bag. What's valuable will be worth a lot and what's not will at least entertain you with its gimmicks.

Excellent compromise between 'transportable', 'expensive' and 'fun'

(assuming a cheap magical bag of holding can actually hold them, of course)

EDIT: That awkward moment when you realise you've been misspelling Eldingar's name as 'Eldringar' the entire time.

Why am I so bad with names.
 
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[X] The bearer bonds. The idea disgusts you as a dragon on every conceivable level, but Takara does have a point that it's more value per pound, and by design you can use them for whatever the fuck you want by virtue of holding them in your hand.

Eldingar: "Aww, bearer bonds, I wanted gold!"
Eldingar's brain: "Bearer bonds can be used to buy many gold."
Eldingar: "Explain how."
Eldingar's brain: "Money can be exchanged for goods and services!"
 
ZerbanDaGreat said:
"Sweetheart..." They shift their hand down and pat your chest, just over your heart as they lower their voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "(Your true name is Eldingar and your elf disguise is named Lord Elding. Everyone in the city knows.)"
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Then why on earth did anyone try to steal from us?
ZerbanDaGreat said:
Not about the paper money thing, it's an affront to nature and you'd eradicate it from the world if you could.
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Investment in character broken, Eldingar reported to Yuan Dynasty China.

[X] The bearer bonds. The idea disgusts you as a dragon on every conceivable level, but Takara does have a point that it's more value per pound, and by design you can use them for whatever the fuck you want by virtue of holding them in your hand.

Time to practice some self control.
Adhoc vote count started by Mechasaurian on May 22, 2018 at 11:10 AM, finished with 20 posts and 11 votes.
  • [x] The bearer bonds. The idea disgusts you as a dragon on every conceivable level, but Takara does have a point that it's more value per pound, and by design you can use them for whatever the fuck you want by virtue of holding them in your hand.
    [X] The magic items. Sniff it out with that beautiful dragon nose of yours and stuff it all in the bag. What's valuable will be worth a lot and what's not will at least entertain you with its gimmicks.
    [X] The gold. Fuck it. Just start grabbing dripping clawfuls and shoving them in the bag, you're a thief for a night so you will abscond with a literal sackful of money!
    [X] The gold. Fuck it. Just start grabbing dripping clawfuls and shoving them in the bag, you're a thief for a night so you will abscond with a literal sackful of money!
    --[X] Write-in: Roll around in the gold before anybody takes it
    [x] The bearer bonds. The idea disgusts you as a dragon on every conceivable level, but Takara does have a point that it's more value per pound, and by design you can use them for whatever the fuck you want by virtue of holding them in your hand.
    -[X] Find one particularly interesting magic item too, just because. Oh, and this glorious diamond!
Click to expand...
 
Ah, I see the dingo has finally decided to include a Tamamo that makes use of their shapeshifting prowess. From classic to Vicchi, even. I wonder when we'll get to see Cat or Shark...

Eldy's identity being less an open secret and more an "everybody knows but don't tell him he likes to think he's clever" situation is of course what should have been expected.

[X] The bearer bonds. The idea disgusts you as a dragon on every conceivable level, but Takara does have a point that it's more value per pound, and by design you can use them for whatever the fuck you want by virtue of holding them in your hand.

Eldingar: Aww, but they suck
Also Eldingar: Take them now and your hoard will be bigger
E: buh...how?
E2: All money is money.
E: but it's all dry and fragile and stuff!
E2: You can pay off your debts with it, which preserves your hoard. Plus, it's anonymous.
E: ooh, 'nonymous?
E2: *Nods head* 'Nonymous!
 
Salty said:
Eldy's identity being less an open secret and more an "everybody knows but don't tell him he likes to think he's clever" situation is of course what should have been expected.
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Honestly, I pretty much assumed that was what was going on the moment we got to see Eldingar's human disguise.

I mean, major trade city. Having a dragon investing in one of your merchant houses is a big boon - it means that other dragons who raid you or your shipping are implicitly stealing from the dragon who invested in you.

And Eldingar is short on unfortunate habits, from the city's point of view; doesn't eat people, doesn't try to micromanage their operations, doesn't even raid the lightning farms that often.
 
Salty said:
Eldy's identity being less an open secret and more an "everybody knows but don't tell him he likes to think he's clever" situation is of course what should have been expected.
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everyone thinks eldy is cute, including the players

"oh my god he thinks that being a dragon makes him inherently threatening that's adorable I want a plushie."
 
We should merchandise his image.

[x] The bearer bonds. The idea disgusts you as a dragon on every conceivable level, but Takara does have a point that it's more value per pound, and by design you can use them for whatever the fuck you want by virtue of holding them in your hand.

Portable, high density money means we get more gold to lie on
 
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Bah. All voting for paper money are heathens.

Salty said:
E2: You can pay off your debts with it, which preserves your hoard. Plus, it's anonymous.
E: ooh, 'nonymous?
E2: *Nods head* 'Nonymous!
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"Anonymous" is exactly why I don't want to take the paper money. I want to humiliate the Rossos and let them know that Eldingar is not to be fucked with.

Plus, if we steal the money anonymously, everyone will go right on thinking that they can outright steal from Eldingar without repercussions. And, because he has all the fiscal sense of a haddock, they will continue to rob him blind whenever he is not looking. We need to make an example of the Rossos by stealing their easily identifiable magical items.
 
[X] The bearer bonds. The idea disgusts you as a dragon on every conceivable level, but Takara does have a point that it's more value per pound, and by design you can use them for whatever the fuck you want by virtue of holding them in your hand.

Listen. I am 95% sure that Takara is a Husbando now, and that we are probably going to go on many dates with them that involve us dressing up in fetish gear and taking rich people's money. If we want to go for shinies on one of those later dates, we can do it on that later date. For now, we need to save our merchant house, which means what we're taking isn't actually going to our private hoard anyway, and so we should just take the most valuable stuff.

(Also we need to wean Eldingar off of this.... this filthy goldbuggery as soon as possible)
 
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