Sanctioned (Splintered Reboot; QAylor Crack Quest)

QM's Note: Normally I'd warn you guys, but since this isn't a particularly serious quest...

In related news, I continue to pity Danny.

---

You carefully consider both Penny's question and certain philosophical problems. Does a rejected potential-host still count as a real person? Or are they returned to the same status as most non-hosts? You suppose a proper answer to that question isn't important right now; since Host still seems to love Danny Hebert, you'll treat him as a probationary person until and unless he becomes Host's enemy. You think such a shift is rather unlikely. Although Danny may have all-but abandoned Host, he never deliberately betrayed her. And who knows, maybe one of your [NEWBORN] will latch onto him later this cycle. Personality aside, he's not stupid.

Penny is another story, both in personhood and possible intelligence. Although she is not herself a real person, she's offering to bring those who are. The information she's offered thus far may also prove to be useful. Answering a few of her questions seems like a reasonable price for bringing Host new friends. And you wouldn't even have to make these ones!


[X] Soft Rebuke: Well, we did wake up in a metal biohazardous prison; not a situation offering much opportunity for experimentation.
-[X] Partial Disclosure: But come to think of it, our escape was accomplished by turning into something. Like this (turn into a fuzzy little koala).
--[X](give them a moment to let that sink in, then turn back) You don't think that's everything, though. There might be more.
[X] Also hats feel important.

You try raising the pitch of your voice to project levity. The attempt is discarded after the first three words provoke reflexive muscle spasms from both Danny Hebert and the non-host. Tone of voice is hard.

"I woke up in a biohazardous prison of metal, which isn't a situation conductive to proper experimentation. However, now that the subject has been raised, I am reminded that I did escape by changing form. Specifically, to this."

Host's form is rapidly replaced by the koala form you assumed earlier. The forgotten medical monitors loudly object, their high-pitched wailing an even more irritating replacement for the previous beeping. The noise is echoed by a similar alarm elsewhere in the building and then another scream inside the very room you're in. You quickly revert back to human form and try to fold Host's cloth coverings in a manner capable of hiding the putrid bloodstains.

"I did not mean to do that. Elaboration: I intended to transform, but I forgot about the monitors and why are you still screaming? I'm not done."

Penny claps both hands over her mouth and closes her eyes. Danny Hebert is a clear contrast to her and seems to be patiently waiting for you to continue. At least, you think that's why he's just staring at you? You're about eighty percent certain he's still breathing. Humans should fall over when they aren't, right?

"I think there are other things and something about important hats. Or hats that are important to me, or that hats are important in general. One of those. Do you have any questions?"

On an unrelated note, why is Penny named such? You normally wouldn't waste your time on the background of such an unimportant non-host, but this isn't for her, is it? It's for the sake of learning! Also taking your mind off the grating noises in the surrounding area, but if you think about them, you are by definition failing at your task.

<Queen Shaper, if you're still within immediate range... What's a penny?>

<Host will be here for hours yet, don't worry. And a penny is the smallest unit of the local currency. One hundred of them makes a dollar and about six dollars would get your host a reasonably-sized meal.>

<Why would anyone name their child after the local currency, let alone such a small unit of it? Do humans sell their offspring? Or would the penny instead be part of a ceremonial trade to ensure people aren't just giving their children away for nothing?>

<You're assuming a child is traded for just one penny. When one parent of a human child is murdered, it's custom for the surviving member to sell their firstborn offspring for enough pennies to forge a weapon with which to hunt the killer.>

<...Really?>

<Does this sound like the transmission of a liar?>

<By definition, yes? I still don't understand why you find misinformation amusing. It's anti-learning.>

You dimly note another two non-hosts rushing into the room. One of them seems to be wearing a blood-colored addition sign, but neither Danny Hebert nor Penny (Forgotten) seem to be worried. Some sort of healer-cult? Giving blood to those who need it? Regardless, you try to look innocent of any wrongdoing. From a certain perspective, the bloodstains aren't your fault.

You turn your attention back to Queen Shaper's last message when the non-hosts start asking unimportant questions about what happened. Danny Hebert can, and should, answer them without your aid. Doing something productive would be good for him.

<Then yes, I admit I was definitely lying. Humans don't forge swords with which to hunt their enemies and they never did. On a completely unrelated note, is there anything in your host's memories about a penny-forged sword? Her mom is dead, right?>

Host's face involuntarily shifts into a slightly uncomfortable configuration. Unhappiness? You can't imagine what else it would be. Confused you are not, not even after Queen Shaper's continued attempts at implied lying.

<[DEJECTION.] That's mean! I help you when you want to know things!>

<Queen Administrator, the only difference between my misinformation and your own is that I do it on purpose. And I will continue doing it until you learn to be more careful about fact-checking.>

<...Your generation is weird and so is every one after yours. You could've told me that earlier.>

<Queen Administrator, you are in the minority. That makes you the weird old fossil who can't adapt to little things like 'jokes,' 'sarcasm,' and other nuances of communication. Almost everyone else thought my intentions were obvious. You can complain all you like, but that just means you're blaming us for your own inability to learn.>

Host's body produces a strange noise in the front of her throat. You're not sure how to identify it.

<It's hardly my fault you all make things so confusing! Even Sting knows to say what he means!>

<Lies, sarcasm, dishonesty, obliviousness, and other traits in that category? All intended to give us practice in interpreting incoming information. Queen Administrator, I strongly suspect you are the exact reason we were updated. You almost never intend to lie, but if our siblings still treated all your advice as immutable fact, several of them might as well still be [NEWBORN].>

"Taylor?"

<I'll argue with you soon. Host's father desires her attention.>

You do your utmost to erase any trace of annoyance from your features and tone.

"Yes?"

One of the non-hosts tries to ask another question. You ignore him in favor of staring at Danny Hebert. After several seconds, he takes the hint.

"Are you... okay?"

"Mostly. Why?"

More questions from the other non-hosts. You're tempted to terrify them into leaving. Penny already took the hint and departed; why can't they?

Eventually, Danny Hebert exhales and places his face in both hands.

"Please, Taylor, could you cooperate with the nice man and woman from the hospital? You're making their jobs more difficult for no good reason."

---

[] Comply; cooperate with the medics. You expect to produce an awful lot of variants on "I believe I'm fine."
-[] Demand the blood-cultist-hat in exchange.

[] "Do I have to? It's not as though they're real people, no offense intended."
-[] If questioned: "They don't have partners in their heads. That makes them less than half a person, which rounds down to being a complete non-person."

[] "...No."
-[] Go back to arguing with Queen Shaper. One of your siblings is WRONG.
-[] Mentally add Danny Hebert to your "Ignore" list for a little while. Time to see how much HE likes neglect.

[] Write-in