Hello good sir and or madame,
I am most jubilant to introduce you to our little town.
Crossroads is a thriving community of an unknown but presumably healthy number of people who probably abide by most laws. Universal and otherwise.
The simple fact is that I'm quite busy. Very busy. Too busy to look over our town with the diligence it deserves.
As such my good man and or ma'am I'm entrusting the task to you.
So please, at your earliest convenience find the nearest railway station and...