Artemis
What's a pirate's least favourite letter?
- Location
- The Seven Seas
You are rushed through the security door, three heavily armed police officers standing watch as it slams shut behind you. You cough the last of the ash from your lungs as you slump down in an office chair, and the day's events finally hit you at full force. The explosion, the shooting, the choking dust that still seemed to linger in the air. It was one thing to be rushed into a bunker on 9/12, cordoned off in your secure office in Beijing, taken under heavy armed guard into a cold war era nuclear bunker and sealed off from the world, but being in the middle of the madness was something else entirely.
You take a shaky breath and power on the secured computer, to get an update on what happened at the memorial. Immediately, you're confronted by dozens of messages from almost every department in the Chinese government. You can't bear to even read them, scrolling downwards until you find what you know you'll dread to read, but must regardless.
PRELIMINARY CASUALTY REPORT: MOFCOM BUILDING ATTACK
Some cold, efficient part of your brain tells you it could've been far worse, and that the casualty list is less than a fifth of the 9/12 attack. Your cold efficiency is swiftly overruled by other, more potent emotions. You have to fight back the urge to scream at the sheer futility of all this. Hundreds have died, on your watch, for what? You can't tear your eyes away from the report, and reread it over and over, as if trying to will it out of existence.
Eventually, you push away from your desk and make your way over to the liquor cabinet. Now wasn't the time to think too hard. You'd lose yourself if you did. Better to lose yourself in something far more familiar to your palate than this ash that refuses to leave your tongue. You grab an unopened bottle of whisky and pop the cork, pouring yourself a neat glass right to the brim of the delicate crystal. You stare into the amber liquor as it laps up against the sides of its container, a murky reflection of your face gazing back.
This muddled view was what the world saw. They called you the Dragon Lady, for that perfectly stoic, capable, driven woman that administered the Ministry of Commerce. You'd taken on that role, as a necessity of your time working in the hostile environment that was the civil service, but now you felt trapped by it, chained to it. In that aftermath you wanted nothing more than to scream, to rage against your own feelings of impotence, but you know how futile that is. With a deep breath, you look away from the reflection in the bottle, take a sip of your drink, and refocus on your work, the only way to reclaim agency in a crisis like this.
The worst part in all of the madness had been finding Jin Lei afterwards. She'd been safe, thankfully, but the expression on her face...you were used to her flushing red in embarassment, her cheeks dimpling when she smiled, her serious expression where she worried away at her lip as her eyes focused totally on whatever task lay before her...
You weren't used to emptiness, a faint sort of confusion that simply hovered in a cloud around her. After you'd gone through the gauntlet of EMTs and paramedics, you tried your best to prompt her, but she simply begged her leave, saying she'd get some rest at home at home...
You banish the memory with a swig, simply allowing the fiery alcohol to burn through the tension that seems to have siezed your entire body in its grip. You top off your glass, before grabbing the rest of the bottle in your other hand and heading over to the room's couch, which you collapse into with a sigh, grabbing the remote near you and flicking on the TV, which dutifully starts reporting on the horrors of the day.
"-with several dozen casualties reported as of now, and this reporter would expect more as the search and rescue efforts continue-"
You ponder what to do next, as you steadily work your way through your glass. What's there to do? You're thankful that MOFCOM itself wasn't hit by the bombings, though that victory is bittersweet when you consider the loss in personnel that once again has hit the Ministry, for reasons far more awful than the purges you'd lead last time.
"-the timing couldn't be worse for the Ministry of Commerce, which has established itself as something of a bastion-"
You imagine that you'll spend a significant chunk of tomorrow embroiled in meetings with Tao to determine the source of these attacks. After that you'll...
"-the Ministry has been unable to comment on these events just yet-"
Well. What can you do? You laugh bitterly as you realise that the work of your deputy and secretary over the past weeks has left you little option but to sit around and do nothing, to simply watch as your Ministry flounders as the latest bout of terrorism hits it directly.
"-and now, the only question left is, how will the Dragon Lady of MOFCOM respond?"
You make a decision. You'll have to cancel your holiday. At the very least, push it back a month till you can go through the process of rehiring, filling up the yet-more depleted ranks of MOFCOM, notifying the President and potentially Haotian about increasing security in Beijing, meeting with Tao and discussing a plan of action for the janitors...
You've nothing else to do, so you might as well do this.
You're brought out of your reverie as your phone rings. You set your glass to the side and pull the device from your pocket, recognising the number as Jin Lei's home. Perhaps she's calling you just to have another day off? You know the girl needs it, more than anyone. You answer the call, ready for the inevitable immediate apology.
Instead, you hear another voice. "Hello? Is this Wen Hao?"
"Indeed it is. Is this...Ai?" You remember the voice from your first call to your secretary. You remember her being bubbly and excitable, and it reminded you of Feng, when you were both much younger. Jin Lei's description of her girlfriend certainly seemed to match that.
Her voice is far from bubbly, though. You can feel her anxiety through the phone. "Minister, I…thank you for answering. It's about your secretary, my, uh, girlfriend. She's…" The woman trails off and you feel panic suddenly clasp its cold fingers around your heart.
"Has something happened?" You fire back, wincing as your question is met with dead air. Now you're panicked, and feel like an asshole.
"No, it's...look I'm not a doctor or anything but...shit." Ai cursed and you could hear what sounded like a thump through the phone. The panic gets worse as you worry something might've happened to the both of them, and you reach for the landline just in case you need it.
"She's just...after what happened at the memorial she's totally seized up. I can't get her to respond to fucking anything and I don't know what to do! I know you're the busiest woman in China but my girlfriend really looks up to you and ImalloutofideasandIdontwanttol-" Hearing that your most loyal and helpful secretary has gone catatonic shocks you, even having seen how badly she'd taken the memorial bombing. Her girlfriend doesn't sound to be in much better shape.
"Shh. Take some deep breaths, alright Ai? You did the right thing calling my office." You hear sniffling on the other end of the line, and rustling that could be nodding.
"I'll be right over, okay? But first I need you to do something for me. Can you read out your address? Once I've gotten it, I'll come over, and we'll both make sure your girlfriend is alright. Understand?" There's more rustling, and then Ai slowly reads out the address, her voice shaking the entire time.
"Thank you, Ai. Go check on Jin Lei for me, I'll be around as soon as I can." When the girl gives a verbal okay, you hang up the phone, take a deep breathe, and call Gao to tell him that you're heading home early. He sees your face and knows better than to ask why, only asking if you'd like for him to call a cab for you.
You can barely keep your face still as you walk out through the halls of MOFCOM and into the waiting car, and only the panel between you and the driver keeps your privacy beyond that. What the hell were you thinking? What on earth lead you to believe that Jin Lei could handle these bombings better than you could? You were hardly handling them as is, and you simply thought that your secretary could walk away from this only asking for a day off???
The absurdity of all this almost makes you want to slap yourself. You command one of the great ministries of China, and like some absent minded child, let those close to you fall through the cracks. A knot of angst forms in your stomach, only growing stronger as your driver brings you in closer. Before it can consume you, though, you arrive at the apartment building. Muttering a thanks to the driver, you step out into the cool evening air.
The massive concrete slab has no elevator, so you begin making your way up the steps, thankful for it as focusing on climbing up the many floors distracts you from all the worry you feel for your secretary, and the anger you feel for your mishandling of the situation. You finally arrive at the room Ai directed you to, a flimsy looking wooden door belying its sheer importance to you in that moment. You rap your knuckles against it, and after a moment you hear the click of a lock and find yourself face to face with the woman you'd heard so much about. Ai's face is lined with worry, and she's clearly been crying. Relief eases the worst of the stress visible on her face as she looks up at you.
"Oh, Wen - I mean, Minister Wen, it's good to see you at last," She stammers out, bowing so deeply you half-worry she's about to kowtow. You're not quite sure how to take it, but elect to respond with a (much more appropriate) nod of your own.
She flushes red as she realises she's committed a faux pas, and shoots back up, ushering you into the cramped apartment building. "She's been like this since…" Ai trails off, and you don't have to see her face to know how close to crying she is. "Please, Wen. She really looks up to you, do whatever you can I just…" She trails off again, deep, shuddering sigh breaking the silence of the room.
Confronted with your failure, you don't trust yourself to speak, humming your agreement as you walk up to the couch. Looking down at Jin Lei is physically painful, her face is pale in the dim light, and she looks almost like a husk, her eyes dull and unfocused. You sit down next to her and push a few stray strands of hair away, gently stroking your secretaries head. She shakes at your touch, and your hand recoils, before gently settling your hand on her shoulder instead. "Jin Lei, it's me." You find your voice after a few more moments, and are shocked by how weak it sounds.
Sitting here, on a lumpy couch, next to your most loyal assistant and aide, someone who believes in you more than anyone but your husband, and being unable to help her when she needs you, hurts you more deeply than almost anything you've ever dealt with.
And the worst part of this all, is you know why this has happened. From the moment you got a phone call about Lei, you knew. It's your fault, you've been so preoccupied with work, so focused on pushing perfection and excellence, meeting deadlines, winning over the press, and winning the war in Cabinet, that you'd neglected to make sure the people you depend on, the people like the poor girl crying right next to you, were okay. Some part of you knew that your singular focus could only ever lead to this, and you did nothing to stop it.
You can barely stop yourself, as you simply sit down on the couch and wrap the bundle in a hug with all your strength. A hiccup turns into a squeak of surprise, before a few folds of blanket fall away, revealing Jin Lei, dishevelled, glasses missing, and a face red with tears. "Ai-"
You're immediately snapped out from your inelegant breakdown, head snapping up to get a first proper look at your loyal assistant. She looks extremely rough, hair dishevelled, glasses missing, eyes still somewhat unfocused. "Jin Lei." You immediately cut her off, "I'm sorry."
She blinks, and her brow furrowed in confusion, eyes widening in recognition.. "What? M-Minister?"
"I am sorry. I am so, so sorry, for everything. For abandoning you, for today, for every fucking thing that has gone wrong that you did nothing to deserve. I'm- I'm sorry that I've expected so damn much, for constantly forcing you to pick up after me, to make you have to do extra work just so you can make me take a damn holiday."
Jin Lei blinks, shock clear on her face. "Minister..."
You gulp, trying to find the words before your silly secretary can say something like it was her own damn fault. You barely find the breath, but you roll on. "I know it's hard, and unfair, having to put up with shit that no one should have to. And I'm sorry, that you have to deal with those things, when I can barely-" your voice cracks, "when I can't-"
Jin Lei pulls her arms out of the blankets and, tentatively, hugs you. With that, the walls you've built up over decades of public service crumble like so much sand in the wind, and you bury your head in her neck and start to cry. All the pain and stress that the pest month has inflicted on your guarded soul rushes out, now ther is nothing to contain it. Jin Lei's grip on you strengthens, and you can hear you say something, but can't understand what, as you both let all the stress and pain out.
You don't know how much time passes between when you start crying, and when you stop. You're only roused out of the dour fugue when you hear the sound of a kettle, slowly raising your head from Lei's shoulder and blinking away some residual tears.
Ai fills her teapot, and brings over three cups, placing them out on the table. "Sorry if I woke you, Minister. Just figured...I'd make something soothing." She pours out the cups, and the familiar fragrance of wulong eases your spirit further, as well as awakening Jin Lei, who looks even worse off than you do. The steam rising from your tea cleanses the last of the negative thoughts, and you lean against your secretary as you both begin to drink, the warmth further easing the pain of your afternoon. Ai sips at her own cup of tea, and the creases of worry that crossed her face melt away into nothing as you all enjoy the companionable silence.
Your secretary takes a slow, shaky breath, before placing down her teacup. "I guess we both needed that, huh?" She rests her head on your shoulder, and her breathing becomes more steady. "Thank you, Hao."
"No, Lei. Thank you, for everything." Despite yourself, you let out a nervous laugh. "This hasn't been the most relaxing few months, and....I know I put a lot of expectations on you, I just…" You run out of steam and stop, both girls staring at you as you try to find better words. It takes what feels like an eternity, but is really just the time it takes Ai to refill your cup. "I think, all this chaos has made me realise just how much pressure we've all been under. I want to thank you for all you've been doing for me, and...I appreciate it, even if I don't say so anywhere near enough."
Jin Lei laughs tiredly. "I guess we both really need a break. Good thing all the work got done, huh?" She sits up at that, setting her cup down. "I suppose I better check in with Gao. We're already planning on giving everyone some time off for this, might as well take advantage of it. Ai," she looks up to her girlfriend, "can you pass me the phone, please? I need-"
"No." The petite woman crosses her arms, glaring at your secretary. "No phone. No calls. No work. You had me worried to bits about you, and now you want to work? No, I'm sure this Gao fellow can handle it."
You let the two bicker back and forth for a bit, taking another sip of your tea. You hadn't thought about it before, but you'd surely need to give everyone else time to recover. It'd line up well enough with your own holiday to Putuoshan, and then Jin Lei would get her own time to relax.
You pause, and think. And an idea crystallises. You look back up at Jin Lei pouting under Ai's lecture, and settle on a plan.
"Actually," the couple both look towards you as you speak, "I'm afraid that I'm going to have to ask Lei to make one call, Ai."
Jin Lei looks triumphant at this, but Ai simply turns her glare towards you. "Listen here, Minister, I just watched the both of you cry your hearts out over work, and if you think I'm going to let you order my girlfriend to do even more-"
"Actually, Ai, that's not the reason for this call," you interrupt. "This is something far more important than just that. Jin Lei," you turn to focus on your secretary, "do you still have the details down for the Putuoshan resort?"
Jin Lei blinks at the non-sequitur. "Uh, I do? I do."
You nod. "Good. Call them, and book another room. For you. You're coming."
Jin Lei nods absently, already following your orders, before her hand freezes by the phone, head snapping back to stare at you. "Me? I'm coming?"
"Yes, you're coming-" "Yes, you're going-" You and Ai both turn to each other, before nodding in agreement and facing Lei again. "You're coming-" "You're going."
Jin Lei looks between you both, before sighing. "I guess I'm not winning this one. I'll do that, Minister." She turns back towards the phone, picking it up and dialling some registered number.
"And," you interrupt, causing her to look back, holding the phone against her chest, "I really am sorry, Lei. For everything."
Jin Lei smiles, then giggles to herself, before leaning over to your face, and gently tapping her finger on your nose. "Forgiven, Hao. You're forgiven."
Man, what incredible person helped edit this? It's a work of art.
Well, that was a dour interlude! Don't worry though, you'll get a much more cheerful beach episode soon.
In other news, I've also updated the turn results to include Growth this quarter. Despite the terrorism crisis, things are still looking pretty good in a purely economic sense!
Two tickets to Putuoshan, express!
