Alteran Alternatives v2.0, Stargate: Atlantis/Worm crossover

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Skynet's alright, as long as she's a villain. If she turns hero, you run the risk of a lawsuit, so either the Protectorate PR or Legal will veto that...and, well, it's a villain name. A good villain name, too, that works on a great many levels considering what she is and how her 'powers' work.
 
The Unicorn said:
Very nice, although as others have noted unless Sophia's escape was arranged by Armmaster for some reason it doesn't make any sense. in Lockdown Aegis' key card should have worked just as well as Shadow Stalker's - i.e not at all.
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Simple:

Verification. Right now, Armsmaster has semiconnected evidence, nothing concrete, and until they pull Emma and Sophia's cell logs, they can't take this to a jury. While they do have enough to yank her Probation long enough for a investigation, it might just be a false alarm.

So they arranged a little play, as it were. Think about it, the PRT's got Dragon running security, if they'd be on top of things, Sophia's theft of the keycard would've ended when the door refuses to open, and in fact, gets charged with enough juice to fry a burger on it.

Then there's a surprising lack of alarms going out in the facility...

No, if they knew for a fact, first clue Sophia would've had they were moving against her was when they nailed her with a TASER bullet (They're real, believe me) in the back, followed up by her getting dogpiled and Containment Foamed, then tossing her in a jail cell.

So they decided to put on a charade, if she was, in fact, innocent, then no harm done, but if she's guilty, then she runs off, and they can now release the hounds.

Why do you think it was coincidentally one of the toughest Wards on site who confronted her after her little run?
 
Im a little partial to Terminatrix as a name.

Im also looking forward to a point where she does that breast inflation thing from third movie.
 
Noxturne90 said:
Something I would also point out is that Piggot sent Sophia a message on her private cell. Which means that Dragon is probably either monitoring it, or was monitoring it at some point. So what happens if they happened to listen in on that conversation?
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Calls are one thing, accessing text messaging is, I think, a bit different.

Scratch that, if there's apps for it, then the government definitely can do so. Though they might not have bothered because, let's face it, who'd be stupid enough to leave those messages on there?
 
How common is the trading of media between Bet and Aleph anyways? I wouldn't expect most to get the Skynet reference.

I think it's more of a joke than an appropriate cape name though. Taylor had better hurry and come up with her own name before people give her that one.

I prefer Mercury.
 
MasterJaxx said:
Im a little partial to Terminatrix as a name.

Im also looking forward to a point where she does that breast inflation thing from third movie.
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....That's a little weird to say about a 15 year old girl. Might wanna clear that up. Or dig the hole deeper, which ever works for you.
 
Night_stalker said:
Calls are one thing, accessing text messaging is, I think, a bit different.

Scratch that, if there's apps for it, then the government definitely can do so. Though they might not have bothered because, let's face it, who'd be stupid enough to leave those messages on there?
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She has a known phone, she's boned right there. Cell phones work because they know were you are. She can get text, so they are tracking her.
 
procrastinator said:
What I don't get is they know that if Sophia is guilty and she runs that she is going to try and kill Taylor but they let her go anyway. I mean WTH?
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They suspect, and even then, issue is, let's face it, someone with Taylor's powers can hide in a city pretty easily.

Unless she's out fighting crime, just pick someone, change appearance, and you're set.
 
MrGazzer said:
....That's a little weird to say about a 15 year old girl. Might wanna clear that up. Or dig the hole deeper, which ever works for you.
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I am not sure what you are talking about?

It is an extremely well known fact that Taylor is insecure about the size of her chest, wishes it were larger and has expressed jealousy at the larger chests of others in her internal monologue on dozens of separate occasions. The scene from Terminator 3 where the Terminatrix expands her own breasts after looking at a poster of a supermodel so as to have better sex appeal is always good for a few laughs. It is also a very well known piece of pop culture so you should have caught that reference or been able to infer something similar.

I was saying that a similar scene where Tailor has a moment of insecurity and unintentionally makes her breasts bigger before fixing the change would be appropriate for this story and would make a nice little bit of amusement.

Nothing more.

You sir need to remove your mind from the gutter and stop imprinting your desires on the actions of others you filthy filthy pedophile in denial.:p(EDIT: Just to make things extra clear, this last line is to be read in a teasing way.)
 
The Destroyer said:
You may have missed, Taylor isn't actually a terminator :p

Alterans have no need for sex appeal, only MORE POWER!
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The boob job thing is pretty much a vanity thing and she might do it, especially with a few of the early section comments in Worm on it.
 
Pyrion said:
Alteran Alternatives v2.0; Stargate Atlantis/Worm crossover
by Pyrion (and all the voices in his head telling him not to open an ice cream shop. Oh, and Robo Jesus, but don't mind him).
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Right I'm sorry but you have a few idiot ball moments here, enough that I couldn't finish the chapter. One Dragon getting her texts off her cell wshould have been more then enough to lock her down in a electical cage right there. Two Armsmaster once he confirmed it should have talked to Piggot from there and never let Hess out of his sight. Letting the Wards know or Aegis rubbing it into Hess's face was the stupidest thing I've seen he might as well have said. "Their coming for you now better start running!"

I can think of no reason they'd willingly let Hess escape her powers make her damn hard to track let alone capture. The idea of having any card work meaning someone can just jump anyone in the building to escape is pretty high up the stupid ladder. Not to mention the man hunt for Hess would be a PC nightmare if they have any reason to LET this happen I suggest you add that into the chapter. Otherwise everyone from the wards to Piggot and Armsmaster look like utter retards.
Night_stalker said:
They suspect, and even then, issue is, let's face it, someone with Taylor's powers can hide in a city pretty easily.

Unless she's out fighting crime, just pick someone, change appearance, and you're set.
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That the suspect is more then enough to lock her down when she is already on probation. Second Hess is a fucking psycho and will quickly target Taylor Dad to get at Taylor. The only rules the deluded little bitch cares about are her own.
 
Lancealot said:
Right I'm sorry but you have a few idiot ball moments here, enough that I couldn't finish the chapter. One Dragon getting her texts off her cell wshould have been more then enough to lock her down in a electical cage right there. Two Armsmaster once he confirmed it should have talked to Piggot from there and never let Hess out of his sight. Letting the Wards know or Aegis rubbing it into Hess's face was the stupidest thing I've seen he might as well have said. "Their coming for you now better start running!"
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I actually originally had Aegis say something along those lines, but took it out because it would've been too fucking obvious, anyone presented with that would realize "they don't have any evidence, just speculation."
I can think of no reason they'd willingly let Hess escape her powers make her damn hard to track let alone capture. The idea of having any card work meaning someone can just jump anyone in the building to escape is pretty high up the stupid ladder.
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That much will be addressed in another update, but it suffices to say that up until she made her escape attempt, they had no probable cause to detain and charge her for anything. It's all speculation and circumstantial evidence up to that point, and no, it wasn't a real lockdown otherwise the place would've been swarming with PRT troops, alarms blaring, the whole works. If there's anyone that actually jumped the gun here, it's Aegis, for confronting Sophia directly without waiting for backup (think about it, whether they take the elevator or scale the stairwell with Vista's help, they weren't that far behind, Sophia could hear them approaching as she made her escape), and up to that point, Sophia wasn't getting out.

As it is now, they still don't have direct evidence linking her to Taylor's trigger, just the implication that whatever her involvement, it's damning enough that she ran in the first place. But they can nail her to a wall for assaulting another Ward, even if that, and her escape, weren't part of the plan.
Second Hess is a fucking psycho and will quickly target Taylor Dad to get at Taylor. The only rules the deluded little bitch cares about are her own.
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Do bear in mind, they're watching Taylor's house like hawks, more out of the expectation that Taylor will return at some point. Sophia should know this, so targeting her dad doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Neither does waiting for Taylor to return home and the PRT to get to her first, though. Make of that what you will.
 
Pyrion said:
I actually originally had Aegis say something along those lines, but took it out because it would've been too fucking obvious, anyone presented with that would realize "they don't have any evidence, just speculation."

That much will be addressed in another update, but it suffices to say that up until she made her escape attempt, they had no probable cause to detain and charge her for anything. It's all speculation and circumstantial evidence up to that point, and no, it wasn't a real lockdown otherwise the place would've been swarming with PRT troops, alarms blaring, the whole works. If there's anyone that actually jumped the gun here, it's Aegis, for confronting Sophia directly without waiting for backup (think about it, whether they take the elevator or scale the stairwell with Vista's help, they weren't that far behind, Sophia could hear them approaching as she made her escape), and up to that point, Sophia wasn't getting out.

As it is now, they still don't have direct evidence linking her to Taylor's trigger, just the implication that whatever her involvement, it's damning enough that she ran in the first place. But they can nail her to a wall for assaulting another Ward, even if that, and her escape, weren't part of the plan.

Do bear in mind, they're watching Taylor's house like hawks, more out of the expectation that Taylor will return at some point. Sophia should know this, so targeting her dad doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Neither does waiting for Taylor to return home and the PRT to get to her first, though. Make of that what you will.
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Your telling me Dragon hasn't hacked Hess's cell phone, and found all the evidence they need? Sorry but there are a vast number of better ways to get evidence on her then this cluster fuck. If they were really trying to get her to run then they REALLY should have locked the base down, and have Armsmaster right outside the door to stun her as she escapes, of course when she got fried before Aegis caught up with her that should have been it never mind getting back up from what was said in worm she should have been near death.
 
Lancealot said:
Your telling me Dragon hasn't hacked Hess's cell phone, and found all the evidence they need? Sorry but there are a vast number of better ways to get evidence on her then this cluster fuck.
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A hacked cellphone would be inadmissible as evidence, and they would still need to be able to prove the violation of her probation (I seem to recall this very discussion coming up in AA v1.0's thread, something about "ensuring chain of custody"). It's largely a moot point now though, because assaulting a Ward is more than enough to get her punted back to juvie, everything beyond that is just icing on the cake.
 
Pyrion said:
A hacked cellphone would be inadmissible as evidence, and they would still need to be able to prove the violation of her probation (I seem to recall this very discussion coming up in AA v1.0's thread, something about "ensuring chain of custody"). It's largely a moot point now though, because assaulting a Ward is more than enough to get her punted back to juvie, everything beyond that is just icing on the cake.
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Which brings it back to not doing a REAL lock down considering her powers was VERY stupid. She got away and as I said before her powers make her a bitch to find let alone catch, and her powers are lethal to anyone capable of being stabbed to death.
 
The Unicorn said:
Bull. Sorry, I can think of several reasons for them to let Sophia go (starting with their investigation identified a possible connection to a supervillain) but this is not one of them:
1)Even going by RL laws they have enough evidence to get a search warrent for her cell phone and computer - at which point any evidence they get from hacking it is quite admisable.
2)Sophia Hess is under probation, her probation officer thus has a LOT more leeway in violating her privacy than police have with your average person off the street.
3)Sophia Hess is a minor, meaning if they get her parents/guardians permission they are allowed to look at her phone, or computer, or anything else.
etc...

No, it's not a moot point. The point is the only way her escape makes sense is if the Protectorate/PRT planned it for some logical reason instead of arresting her.
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Agreed as someone that has friend on probation, they can make you get blood tests, pee in a cup, have cops search your house on a suspicion. The fact Hess is on probation in of itself is probably cause all on it's own and that means they can check over her cell.

This really needs a rewrite Pyrion, I get your going to try to go somewhere with this but right now the direction your taking makes very little sense. They had more then enough for a investigation, and they could have just locked her up while doing it. Getting friendly with the Undersiders when she knows the PRT know her ID makes even less sense, if she goes 'villain' Taylor knows no matter why she does it, doing so would destroy her father. Frankly these last two sections feel forced and ignore common sense in order to be forced.
 
Incidentally, a basic reason for dragon not to do X,Y, or Z -- she has to obey local laws. If there's a state ordinance requiring something like a warrant, then she'd have to wait for the warrant. Since they didn't have the evidence for such... yeah. They could probably get a warrant, but you know... time.

Dragon's a Big Good, but she's got rather extreme limitations, even after accounting for the fact she's not a local hero. Just a friend to one.
 
One other thing I want to point out: the investigation is being handled by the police, not the PRT. The PRT handles the parahuman side of things, yes, but as far as the police know, this was just a regular crime that resulted in a trigger event, as opposed to a crime committed by a cape. If the evidence points to Sophia, and they look up her name and find it flagged with a redirection to the PRT, then things get interesting, but they're still the ones responsible for handling all aspects of the case (including getting and executing the warrant for her arrest), so the PRT would then have to restrain her and surrender anything and everything that amounts to evidence. Given the PRT's prior level of cooperation, as much as they might not want the negative PR, it's more-or-less out of their hands at that point, so the best they can do is cooperate fully and completely so that they don't appear to be obstructing justice (which carries penalties of its own).

More than likely, the PRT would remain responsible for keeping Sophia in custody (no, I'm not really spoiling things here, because this is entirely within the hypothetical realm at this point), but the evidence isn't parahuman and so isn't their problem. See, if the evidence isn't properly handled, then any defense attorney worth his weight in beans would have it declared inadmissible as evidence, since it could've been tampered with, if the chain of custody appears to have been broken. If the only direct evidence they have of a systemic bullying campaign against Taylor are the contents of Sophia and Emma's cellphones? Dragon hacking them would fuck that right up (and yes, this is something I admit I fucked up bigtime in AA v1.0).

As pertains to the fic as it is now, no, I'm not considering a third rewrite, that would just be silly. Yes, characters make mistakes (that is, if they're not Mary Sues), and an absence of hypercompetence is not evidence of an idiot plot.
 
Pyrion said:
One other thing I want to point out: the investigation is being handled by the police, not the PRT. The PRT handles the parahuman side of things, yes, but as far as the police know, this was just a regular crime that resulted in a trigger event, as opposed to a crime committed by a cape. If the evidence points to Sophia, and they look up her name and find it flagged with a redirection to the PRT, then things get interesting, but they're still the ones responsible for handling all aspects of the case (including getting and executing the warrant for her arrest), so the PRT would then have to restrain her and surrender anything and everything that amounts to evidence. Given the PRT's prior level of cooperation, as much as they might not want the negative PR, it's more-or-less out of their hands at that point, so the best they can do is cooperate fully and completely so that they don't appear to be obstructing justice (which carries penalties of its own).

More than likely, the PRT would remain responsible for keeping Sophia in custody (no, I'm not really spoiling things here, because this is entirely within the hypothetical realm at this point), but the evidence isn't parahuman and so isn't their problem. See, if the evidence isn't properly handled, then any defense attorney worth his weight in beans would have it declared inadmissible as evidence, since it could've been tampered with, if the chain of custody appears to have been broken. If the only direct evidence they have of a systemic bullying campaign against Taylor are the contents of Sophia and Emma's cellphones? Dragon hacking them would fuck that right up (and yes, this is something I admit I fucked up bigtime in AA v1.0).

As pertains to the fic as it is now, no, I'm not considering a third rewrite, that would just be silly. Yes, characters make mistakes (that is, if they're not Mary Sues), and an absence of hypercompetence is not evidence of an idiot plot.
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There is a middle ground between the two called common sense and nothing is stopping the PRT from investigating independently from the police, and no dragon hacking Hess's phone wouldn't void it as evidence as she is on probation and doesn't have the same right as someone that isn't.
 
Hiver said:
I rather like Skynet as a name :p
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As mentioned rights for it would be a bitch, it is a villain name but most important of all ... how many Terminator Fans are going to subject their friends to long lectures that the T-1000 was not Skynet and that is completely wrong? How many pointless arguments that could destroy friendships or even relationships? How can we let that happen! HOW! :p
 
Peanuckle said:
Having read through the whole thing just now, I think it's pretty good, especially the interaction with the Undersiders. The concern and mistrust from Taylor is good, the lures and enthusiasm from Tattletale is appropriate to the situation.

My major complaint is that on the hero side, everyone seems to be steamrolling towards nailing Sophia to the wall. The never even cottoned on to the fact that she was using lethal ammo again. She should be a lot better at hiding her reactions and the way everyone pounces on the smallest clues is a tad ridiculous. "Sophia's heart rate skyrocketed when we mentioned the locker! Quick, who are her friends? Aha! They must have organized an extensive bullying campaign that resulted in Taylor triggering!"

That's the sort of bullshit you expect from Tattletale, not the socially-incompetent Armsmaster. Honestly, I'd give it a whole chapter or two for them to just investigate, piece together evidence, corroborate witness reports and do general detective work. What's going on now is just too quick and easy.
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Don't forget Armsmaster has a lie detector, and he knows SS goes to the same school. She lied to him about not knowing anything which triggered the first flag.

Although it is a little rushed, I think that it might work a little better if Armsmaster consulted Gallant about his emotional sensing before jumping the rest of the conclusion train. Because if she feels guilt/fear/hatred or something along with the the lie she's made. It's very suspicious.
 
Frankly, all this can be solved pretty easily. Have the next bit start with Aegis getting chewed out for jumping the gun and letting her get away. He was pissed at SS, he screwed up, he gets yelled at.
 
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