Act 4, Scene 34 (Fin)
It didn't make sense. Shizue was used to being able to understand social things. Even before she'd understood sex, she'd understood the way that certain women hung around in houses of ill repute, before she'd understood politics she'd understand the way personal and petty grievances could be politics. This, on the other hand? This was rather unexpected, though she tried to think about how she might have foreseen it.
It was true that Genta… wait, Maki... wait. Why Maki?
Shizue frowned, and shook her head, trying to push through the confusion and get to the facts. G… Maki was her friend. That much hadn't changed. Or couldn't change that simply. That means that Shizue has to try. It's not enough merely to shrug and do nothing at all. In fact, it was wrong to do so.
If she truly thought that Ge… Maki was doing something wrong, or bad, or something that would harm him… her? Well, if she thought that, then her only recourse was to try to stop it no matter the cost in friendship, because protecting others was part of what Shizue did. It was that simple. And if she didn't think it was a problem, some kind of sickness of the mind, then she should do more than just vaguely ignore it. She should learn about why G… Maki was doing this.
"Uh… of course. Maki." Shizue paused. "Maki-chan, I mean. What does the name mean? Which… reading are you using?"
Maki smiled at the soft question, and said, "The Kanji for True, and the Kanji for Hope." She nodded. "I thought on it for quite some time--"
"She thought on it forever," Saya said. "And it isn't a bad name. Not every name can be as good as mine." Saya covered her mouth with her sleeve and glanced down at her tea. "But we should really drink the tea. That's why we're here."
"Ah, right," Shizue said, and she picked up her cup and began to carefully drink it.
"Ahem," Saya said.
"Yes, Saya-chan?" Shizue asked.
"You should hold out a pinkie. We're following Southern Lightning rules now," Saya said, primly.
Ge… Maki. Maki. She repeated the name a dozen times in her head. Maki had raised… her finger. "I didn't know that, Saya-chan, Maki-chan."
"It is said in the Chronicle of Seventy-Nine Songs that ignorance is not an excuse for incivility," Maki said, glancing over at Saya, who seemed to smile broader at that. His… her voice. It was a little bit like a whisper, which made Shizue wonder why. Was there a reason?
"I apologize, then," Shizue said, raising her pinky and taking another small sip.
"However, you are among friends, Shizue-chan," Maki pointed out. "So in fact, you may make mistakes and we should not chide you."
"Ah, well, thank you. It's a very good name," Shizue said. "So how have your studies been going?"
"I've been practicing the use of my dojutsu, and Emiko-sensei has also wanted me to consider focusing more on stealth. Though it seems to me that pretending to be something else is far easier. As well, there is basic physical training, which I shall need to do in order to compensate for any fluctuations of chakra on the… new medication."
"New medication?" Shizue asked.
"The biological system of the human body is in fact a well-explored subject in recent history, and one of the facts found out about it was that men and women differed in the average level of--"
"Maki-chan is taking an elixir which causes… womanliness. Now if only this were more widely in use," Saya said.
Maki flushed. "...something like that."
Shizue looked confused. "Some kind of genjutsu?"
"No," Maki said. "It's a hormonal and herbal solution that should change the patterns of male and female hormones, which go by several scientific names. Both men and women have a mix of both, something that caused the Konoha philosopher Fujiwara to speculate that all people are a little of both, and yet another way to read it is that both are needed, and it's only the ratio that matters."
"Matters to what?" Shizue asked.
"Why do men sweat smellier? Why are they more hairy? Why, for that matter, are they usually more muscular, if they've exercised as much, why are their voices deeper?" Saya asked, picking up a fan to cover her face as if she were talking of something forbidden.
"Because that's how guys are," Shizue said, not sure how to interpret this.
"These hormones are what makes it so. And the inverse of them…"
Shizue took a moment to try to understand this. She already had the start of a headache, and that was before she considered the fact that Emiko-sensei had to know. It was the only thing that made sense, if it was some rare and strange drug that turned a guy into a girl, or visa versa, through… hormones, whatever those were, exactly. It seemed more like magic than anything else, but then… was Rika involved? No, surely she would have said something if she was, even though it seemed to Shizue that it'd take the skill of a ninja to do something so impressive and odd.
"It makes the voice less deep?"
"Potentially. Maybe?" Maki shook her head and said. "The study of the substances is in its infancy. But it helps in other ways, and counteracts any… damage."
"It can give one breasts?" Shizue asked.
"Shizue-chan!" Saya said, scandalized. "I thought that in telling you you wouldn't be so crude and uncouth. Maki-chan and anything that she might…"
Maki was blushing deep red as she looked down. "It might? I don't know how it'd take. It's a lot of work to do, but it's possible. Right now I'm still considering the complexities of the medication, but I need it. It's the… cure. Or, something like it. Everything that didn't make sense, about the thoughts I'd had, the fears and doubts." Maki bit… her lip. It looked like her lip in a moment like that, slightly red, lipstick on it.
And no wonder she'd been interested in learning.
"Well, I'm hopeful for you?" Shizue asked. "Do you intend to tell anyone else?"
"When the time comes. At the moment, if I went out, they won't notice. I could just go light on the makeup and wait until someone asks." Maki nodded to herself, as if this were the best possible solution.
"Maki-chan appears to think that people are fools. She is no doubt right, though." Saya gave a mocking little laugh, "Not like yourself, Shizue-chan."
"No, not like myself. Everyone here is perceptive, but it is something where people wouldn't think of it. They're more likely to simply think you look different."
"Perhaps," Maki-chan said. She glanced at Shizue's cup. "Do you need more?"
She reached out, which was when Shizue realized that his… her arm was now hairless. Clearly that had been another thing that had to go.
"Yes, thank you, Maki-chan. I'm sure that nobody will judge you. I'm not sure who would?"
"Rika-chan is… the sort," Saya said.
"I don't think she is," Shizue insisted, aware that this was just baseless accusation. Shizue glanced over at Maki. "You know her."
"I do. She might worry about the medications and their effects. They might worry about many things." Maki didn't say anything else, just poured the tea and watched to see how Shizue would address it.
"They have to get used to it. They really do. You're going to be there, and you'll demand recognition until they manage it," Shizue said. Then she had a thought, one that she might not have even had if it wasn't for Okiie, soon to be off on another mission. "Though, I do wonder?"
"Yes?" Maki asked.
"Naohiro-kun. He doesn't know about this."
Maki blushed. "I don't think he'd react well to learning. I'd rather… not tell him yet, because if I do not tell him, then for at least some time I have a… boyfriend. Even if it's not for long once he becomes aware of what I've done."
"Nothing new," Saya pointed out. "This was you before, but then again, it's not as if I suspected? After all, more guys should be interested in makeup, so I didn't assume…"
"You don't have to apologize," Maki said.
"Fortunate that I did not, then," Saya smirked and then glanced over at Shizue. "So thinks going well with your own boy-toy? It seems in this respect both you and Maki-chan are rather luckier than I am. Though it's not my fault that all the men here are terrible. Would you agree, Maki-chan?"
Maki coughed, and Shizue understood what she meant. After all, she'd been a guy or… or?
Shizue didn't even know what to think. But either way, she'd thought Maki was a guy not twenty minutes ago. "That's unfair, completely unfair."
"Akachi-kun is your idea of a boy to date? He's amusing, admittedly," Saya said. "But no more than that."
"I wouldn't want to date Akachi-kun, no. But that doesn't make him bad."
Maki nodded, almost gravely. "Ichiman-kun is nice, and Seiichiro-kun is… dedicated."
"Have you seen him training?" Shizue asked.
"Yes."
"I've been thinking about how to train Yuuichi-kun," Shizue admitted. "But I'm not sure what I could teach him to give him confidence that would work."
"You should examine the foundation, the roots of it," Maki said. "His mind's the problem, his body will follow. He's very strong and fast, and good at genjutsu. He has no reason to feel so pessimistic, especially considering we're progressing and improving far faster than we should. We're working long, hard hours, as if improving ourselves was our job." Maki nodded her head, in a way that made it hard to think of her as Maki, and not Genta. "It's impressed Emiko-sensei."
"She's pushing herself as well," Shizue said. "Training all of us, working with all of us. So I need to do that for Yuuichi, which means… something that helps test his mental fortitude, or…"
"I have ideas, actually," Maki said, quietly. She said it uncertainly. "At least a few. Of course, we must have tea first, and then I'd like your opinion on some clothing."
"O-of course, Maki-chan."
Every time Shizue said Maki, Ge… Maki seemed to glow a little bit, as if she were a wilting flower being watered after a long time in the desert.
"Now," Saya said. "Let us enjoy the tea. Unless you'd like to work on putting the room back together. Why hide your makeup table? It is not something worth hiding."
Maki nodded and got up, and while Shizue drank the tea and tried to relax, Saya looked at her intently, as if watching her for something. Maki's movements were fast and efficient as she pulled the curtain off of the cabinet and makeup table and then moved to begin putting clothing back in the right places.
Underwear, bras--training bras, in fact--skirts, blouses, as much clothing as Shizue had, easily, already.
She was very… dedicated. Shizue wondered how Maki managed to afford it, considering that she hadn't gotten much money from her job. The job where…
Shizue didn't want to ask too many questions.
******
Maki, well. Maki was still… Genta in body, which meant less than it might have. Genta had never been particularly thin or particularly thickset, and so a skirt and a blouse looked… alright on… her. It could look better, and she had shoulders that made it a little awkward, but it was at least something she could imagine. And the colors worked well, the dark greens and the black of the skirt combining to create this modest, understated persona.
Which really did fit Maki. Well, Maki's dress. Shizue hoped that once Maki felt more comfortable she'd lean further into the way she'd always analyzed everyone else. She'd done it a little, but there was always this hesitation to her words, like she was afraid of stepping on an explosive.
Hopefully that would change.
But of course, Shizue had someone else to confront.
*******
Emiko really did know how to pack. The woman was stuffing quite a lot into a very small pack, as she moved here and about her sparse, all but empty, bedroom.
"You knew, Emiko-sensei."
"Yes, I knew. I know a lot, Suzuhisa Shizue, daughter of Suzuhisa Sae. I am a missing-nin. I am a ninja. My profession is knowing a lot. If I didn't know, that would be a bigger mark upon my competence." Emiko reeled it all off easily, and then looked up. "Now, know what?"
"About Genta… I mean, Maki."
"Maki-chan," Emiko corrected. "And… that I didn't know before it was too late. Failures seem to be coming rather quickly to me, and when I thought I was done with them, when I suspected that perhaps at last I'd reached some minimal level of competence." Emiko paused. "But yes, I knew. And I'm doing what I can to help her."
"You could have…"
"What? Could have revealed secrets? People have secrets, and as hypocritical as it is for me to respect them, I shall." Emiko sounded distracted and agitated.
"You're right, Emiko-sensei."
"That does sometimes happen, yes. Rather too rarely," Emiko admitted. "But be there for her, Shizue-chan. She needs her friends. This is a big thing that she's going through, and terrifying."
"Terrifying?"
"Immensely. The medication is untried and I whipped it up on the fly, the very fact of trying to make this leap. What if she gets caught in between, and looks like some sort of man wearing women's clothing? What if one of you rejects her? What if she draws attention on a mission and she's hurt? A shinobi's life is all risks and rewards… and she's taking risks just to do that. I wonder if I wouldn't merely want to keep on being miserable rather than have one more thing to deal with, if I were in her shoes."
Shizue bit her lip. "It is brave, yes."
"Brave? Bravery in my experience is overrated. Or rather, you can't know what it is. I've seen people break down at a rejection in love, and yet, despite loving their friends just as deeply, they were able to sacrifice them for the good of their village. Different acts can break different women, different people." Emiko glanced away. "I know that well enough. Have you been practicing the chakra strings?"
"Yes," Shizue said. "I don't quite have it done yet, but… I'll have it ready by the time you get back."
"Yes. It'll be quite the day when I do arrive back. Hold a party for me, because I'll have just stuck a finger in the eye of Suna. I've always wanted to do so."
"A grudge?" Shizue asked.
"No, it's on the bucket list. I've made enemies in Iwa, enemies in Kumo, why not Suna as well? And Kiri too." Emiko shrugged. "It won't make my situation much worse than it is now, considering how high the bounty is."
"I've always wondered, why is it that high?" Shizue asked. "The new Kage must really want you alive."
"She's under... misapprehensions," Emiko said.
"Am I under one, to ask you about this at all?" Shizue asked.
"If you thought you were going to get a straight answer, then yes. A girl must have her mysteries. And a shinobi needs them as well to survive. The secrets, the half-shadowed facts. That's where a shinobi should live. Of course, I'm not an ideologue."
"Idealogue?"
"One of those back-to-basics sorts, or the kind of people who want to turn the world into an abattoir just to make it like the good old days when ninja were ninja. But not being known is part of what being a ninja is. Kage have interviewed in magazines before, as if their favorite colors and foods were the province of some random civilian. Of course, I am sure that most of them lied, or made sure to name only facts that couldn't create any vulnerability… but even food." Emiko laughed. "Even food can be a giveaway, because certain foods can more or less easily mask poisons."
"That makes sense. If war starts… then that'll change, but it's a bad thing, isn't it?"
"At a certain point you have to ask whether shinobi as a concept are a bad thing. Whether chakra-users who build roads and fix dams and make seals wouldn't be far safer than the warriors penned up, dreaming of wars." Emiko sighed. "And the monsters, the monsters that you can find in the villages and without. They're going to eat this world alive. And I need to be strong enough to be one of them, or get plowed under."
Shizue frowned, "I don't know how you'd do that. I don't know what it is to be S-rank, Emiko-sensei."
"Being better at everything. Absolutely everything," Emiko said. "I'm working on it. I'll be back in two weeks, probably. Keep watch, listen to Chuichi-kun, he's in charge."
"I will," Shizue said.
"You're something of a leader among them, if only by default."
"Yes," Shizue said.
"It's in many ways a shame that you and others can't go to an Exam. Give it a year, and you'd practically stroll through it, at this rate. Then again, many of you have almost died," Emiko said. "So perhaps my method is more lucky than skilled. Certainly, it's hard to--"
"Hard to doubt that you're a very good teacher, for us to have lived through what we have," Shizue insisted.
"Perhaps. But that's a very low standard to clear," Emiko said. "But keep on clearing it, Shizue-chan."
"I'll try."
"I should go soon, can you leave my room, please. I have a few more things to pack," Emiko said.
Quietly, deep in thought, and wondering about this world, so wide and full of change--so narrow and full of change there too--and what her place in it was.
[Ending Credits]
Training Yuiichi! (Choose 1)
[] Test his skill in genjutsu, using Maki to really push him beyond his limits, and force him to confront his doubts.
[] It's time for a training expedition… at least, a short one. Go out into the desert, see if he can't do a little better without people to compare himself to.
[] Try to teach him by integrating him into teamwork, where… if he can be made to stop doubting himself quite so much, he can see that he plays a part in such a fight.
[] It'd be rough, but perhaps what he needs to do is just… fight harder. Just spend all his time with Saya--with Shizue there to make sure he survives--practicing his taijutsu until his arms fall off.
[] Write-in.
A Funny Thing Happened In the Common Room (Choose 1)
[] Comic book rumbles.
[] Shogi tournament?! Battle for Last Place!
[] A One, A Two…
[] Teamwork Trials?
[] History-onics.
[] Letter Writing Scorched Earth Campaign.
*******
A/N: This is right about at the time that I'd have a mission, so instead, have a random event!
