After the Pittsburgh Dungeon mouth was successfully contained, and not without loss of life and property, naming the new gold mine-cum-hellmouth was put to a vote in a local newspaper. Faced with the question of coming up with a name for such a beast, Pittsburgh residents had one clear winner.
The Cleveland Dungeon.
Possibly the most confusing piece of geography in the north-east and cause of riots at the last three Browns-Steelers games.
This morning that Dungeon is my place of work. I have a crew of a half-dozen here, a mix of people I trust, plus a few casuals that haven't yet proved to me they know which way their rifle is supposed to point.
Name: Gin
Status: Boss
Background: Demolitions
Skills: Small Arms 1, Anti-Tank 1, Demolitions 3
Primary - Surplus M4 [2SM] 1 $ per visit
Secondary - Surplus M72, [2AT or 2DM] 2 $ per visit
Special - 1 Kg Satchel Charge [4 DM] 7 $ per visit
We roll out early in the morning, looking to get a long day on the grindstone. My rifle is surplus US Army, like a lot of the newer PMC groups. Fucking Corporate made a bulk deal for all the shit the Army and Marines near wore-out all sorts of places around the world. Whatever, it still puts down a Kobold and doesn't jam more than every third round, I count my blessings. The carbine, garish to the point of making other PMCs wince to see it, hangs from the front of my webbing. Over my back is a light anti-tank missile, good in a pinch for hulkers or for knocking out a false wall. But for big demo jobs, I have a satchel charge with a deuce-and-a-half of plastic explosive. That incurs a spicy insurance certificate, but you gotta do it in this place.
At my side is an old trusted hand, Tom Li, a San Jose native and veteran of the US Army. The man who blew old Redfang's whole head off with a Javelin down in Birmingham. He doesn't have one of those with us today - the insurance is way too high to be worth it for anything we'd find here in the Cleveland Dungeon. It's not much more than Minotaurs or some small Wyrm variants, and the AT-4 he has with him, tastefully becharmed with a string of little trolls, is plenty enough for those.
We call him 'Duck' most of the time, though. As in "Duck, he's about to fire again!". I love the bastard like family, but for fuck's sake he can stand to give more than a three-count to clear his backblast.
Name: Tom 'Duck' Li
Status: Full-time Employee
Background: Anti-Tank
Skills: Small Arms 2, Anti-Tank 3
Primary - Surplus M4 [2 SM] 1 $
Secondary - Surplus M72, [2AT or 2DM] 2 $
Special - AT4 - [4 AT or 3 DM] 4 $
Nah, most of the trouble you run into here in Cleveland is mob rushes is...
[ ][DANGER] ...the deadier common mobs you find once you push down a level.
[ ][DANGER] ...when mobs suddenly form and rush your party. Without a good base of fire...
[ ][DANGER] ...the poison traps you need a good point man for.
[ ][DANGER] ...the fact anything worthwhile is almost always cunningly-hidden!
Of course, people say its the physical obstacles. Great big doors, columns, false walls, cliff edges, all of that sort of thing. Those people are wrong. That stuff's just good clean fun. As for the problems, well, I've found someone handy for that.
[ ][NAME] Name for the specialist who will help with the selected danger
[X][DANGER] ...the fact anything worthwhile is almost always cunningly-hidden!
[X][Peter Hanson] Totally on the up-and-up, no seasoned smuggler here. *Wink*
[X][DANGER] ...when mobs suddenly form and rush your party. Without a good base of fire...
MOBS MOBS MOBS MOBS
also mobs mean big boom. Big, messy, squishy booms
[X] [Ophelia] """"Small"""" Arms
Now I always thought her to be kind of an insane HEMA enthusiast, and she...kind of still is. But the scary part is that now she has the kind of gear that backs her up. She was always a big girl, supernaturally large, almost seven feet tall, but in that armor she turns into a juggernaut. Custom, gleaming armor, a mix of magical fullplate and modern military fatigues and gear. Clanking chainmail and leather packs full of material, a few pistols, a high-caliber anti-tank rifle, but, most terrifyingly, she has...well...
It's a STK 40mm AGL. This is the kind of thing that I wouldn't dream of using handheld. There's no enchantment, there's nothing added to it to make it unique. It's just a big fucking grenade launcher that chucks fist-sized grenades designed to turn people to paste. And it fires rapidly. In anyone else's hands it'd be fucking scary and unpredictable, in hers it's terrifying, because you know exactly what's going to happen.
And trust me, it's not just the armor. She was able to lift a car with her bare damn hands outside of it.
There's something off about her...but I'm not about to look into that now.
I mean, fuck she's useful to have around and she's a pretty fun drinking buddy.
Gear provides you with tokens. As you go into the Dungeon, you are met with Challenges. These represent obstacles, and present a cost in Tokens that require you to expend your equipment to clear. At the moment only Small Arms can be partially-expended. For everything else, it's all or nothing (you can't fire only half a rocket). When confronted with a Challenge, I'll consume the least amount of equipment automatically, unless there's clearly likely to be some strategy involved with gear that has multiple token types. Every Challenge also requires a certain amount of Small Arms or Firepower. (Using Firepower here is a desperation move though, because they are important for Mob Rush challenges).
If you don't have sufficient tokens of the right type, the shortfall can be made up in one of three ways. Spending double with another type of token, using a Resupply Chopper to deliver at 4x usual rates, or incurring injuries that will be randomly assigned through your squad. (Depending on how the tutorial level goes I might expand on the injury mechanics but ... we'll see. Don't want to overcomplicate). Of course, you can always admit defeat and return to the surface to try again tomorrow.
Financially, everything is based around the one-time-use insurance certificate price to get something into the dungeon. Actually procuring the equipment you don't have to worry about. The cost of lease or acquisition is factored into the cost of the insurance cert that Corporate gives you. However, you still need an employee who has the right skill type and level. It's not enough that you know how to use the gear, you also have to get signed off on. Which costs money. This is late-stage capitalism at its finest, after all.
Full-time employees are easier to train to get new and better skills. Full-time casuals, in addition to being horribly exploited, can't be as easily improved. You are limited to no more than half of your employees being full-timers by the terms of your contract with Corporate ... for now, anyway. Full-time employees also cause you problems because you have to pay them their wage while they're injured or sick, and the bastards can even take leave! Of course, any injury is a pain in the ass because of the insurance excess you have to pay out to get them treated. This is a high-risk occupation and that excess ain't cheap. Having a medevac on standby reduces the excess, and reduces the chance of a death and a much more painful excess payout to their life insurance.
Before you go into a Dungeon, you can pay for extra intel that will give you more ideas about what the upcoming challenges may contain. When you go to a new Dungeon area, you'll get a briefing on what is most commonly encountered in that Dungeon.
For the first Dungeon Dive, I'll pre-set your load out to give everyone an idea of how this is meant to work in practice, and let the votes focus on how to use the tokens you have.
[X][DANGER] ...when mobs suddenly form and rush your party. Without a good base of fire...
[X] [Andres] Andres, Small Arms
Andres is a former Federale and a burned-out veteran of the Mexican Drug War. After hundreds of firefights against drugged-up fanatics with assault rifles, one too many close shaves in and out of uniform finally cracked his resolve. Gathering what was left of his family from the ruins of his home, he fled north to the US in hope of a better life. He found the same story so many of his countrymen did; corporate exploitation, racism, and a lethal apathy for the plights of even their own combat veterans, let alone an immigrant who hadn't had the time to get his papers in order before the next firebombing.
Then the Dungeons opened up, and suddenly experienced shooters had prospects again. Andres might be a good six inches shorter and several times more Hispanic than the average American's idea of an expert close-quarters combatant, but he can clear a room in his sleep and he's an artist with a rifle. Give him a window to dig in behind and he can lock down an entire street, and he has a nose for hidden nooks, honed after years of ferreting out drug stashes and illegal weapons from Cartel safehouses.
[X][DANGER] ...the fact anything worthwhile is almost always cunningly-hidden!
[X][Peter Hanson] Totally on the up-and-up, no seasoned smuggler here. *Wink*
[X][DANGER] ...the fact anything worthwhile is almost always cunningly-hidden!
[X][Peter Hanson] Totally on the up-and-up, no seasoned smuggler here. *Wink*
I'm already drawing up a logo for the Pink Fluffy Unicorns. This Quest is gonna be amazing, I can tell. Here's my pitch though.
With Gin and Duck, we got the letters G and D, or T if we use Tom instead of Duck.
Now, depending on who is chosen, we can make some fun acronyms for the three of these guys.
Ophelia: D.O.G, G.O.D or G.O.T
Peter: A sarcastic G.D.P is really tempting me to be honest. Not sure what a T could form here.
Andres: D.A.G? If we get three more people with names starting with another G, an E, and an R, we can spell Dagger. Or with G.A.D, we could get more people who's names start with F, L, and Y to spell Gadfly. With Tom instead of Duck, we can spell T.A.G though. The shafted immigrant is an important tradition of American capitalism too. Could make more fun acronyms if we give him the traditional two last names typical in Spanish descended/influenced cultures. Father's last name first, than the mother's. Andres Hernández García could be abbreviated to AHG. Agh as in your're gonna be hearing a lot of those out of the enemies he's mowing down.
[X][DANGER] ...when mobs suddenly form and rush your party. Without a good base of fire...
[X] [Andres] Andres, Small Arms
[X][DANGER] ...the fact anything worthwhile is almost always cunningly-hidden!
[X][Peter Hanson] Totally on the up-and-up, no seasoned smuggler here. *Wink*
My man, Andres Flores. Fucking artist with anything that fires a bullet. We're talking love at first sight with your carnage stuff here. Kobolds come rushing out, they sit back down. On a good day, like when he's managed to get to work without getting pulled over more than once, he can even take requests on how you'd like the carpet of enemies to be laid out.
Damned handy dude. He's my other full-timer. Cuts a pretty imposing figure with his UMP slung over his shoulder and SAW cradled in his hands with the same care he gave his firstborn. The facial scars and eyes like granite complete the ensemble. Sure, he's still a Fluffy Pink Unicorn so his gear is awash with colours, but you hardly notice it the moment he fixes those eyes on you.
I once asked him if he's one of those people who has a plan to kill everyone he meets. He said of course not - he'd never harm a hair on the head of a kid. Everyone else, not so fortunate.
Name: Andres Flores
Status: Full-time Employee
Background: Federale
Skills: 2 Defensive Firepower, 3 Small Arms, 1 Sensor
"Right, load up Unicorns, we're off to see the wonderful wizard of Isengard and find the snitch or whatever it is."
A tall young man grimaces like I've just gut shot him. "You're mixing your IP, G-"
"And you're wrong, Carter," I bark back, pointing a figure at him. "You worry about shooting kobolds and not letting us get gassed."
He slaps a dark brown hand against his helmet. "Come on, Gin, you're like one of those Picard pictures with the 'Use the Force, Harry' captions, but on legs! Goddamn!"
Name: Shawn Carter
Status: Casual
Background: Medicine
Skills: 1 Small Arms, 2 Hazmat
Primary - Surplus M4 [2SM] 1 $ per visit
Special - Surplus NBC Detection Gear [2 HZ] 2 $ per visit
Shawn Carter is a graduate of one of the more prestigious colleges on the east coast, but courtesy of being stuck with a friend's joint when police came to toss over a party, none of the hospitals want to touch him. Well, even as a casual the dungeons are good money, and you know he probably sees less gunshot wounds here than most city hospitals.
I move along the line and come up to a man in his late twenties. Huge boy, built like a linebacker. Was a linebacker, actually. Earned millions playing for Green Bay, but no one taught him how to manage it. Got cut after a bad injury one year and was bankrupt in three months. Not so many prospects for a broke and brokedown ex-player whose college degree basically consisted of the coaching having to fudge every test for him.
"LB," I call out, a little more gently. "You all there today? Got your spoons?"
"Yeah, boss," he says with a heaved sigh. "I'm here."
Bless his heart, I have him on the team as a meatshield. He's good at it, as long as the CTE and depression aren't playing up. But with how he pays us for room and board I can't replace him with someone else and still balance the books.
"Just remember, Sam, if the fuckholes up on the dungeon gate pester you for an autograph again, you have my express permission to sign it with as big an up-yours as you like."
Name: Sam Naismith
Status: Casual
Background: Athlete
Skills: Small Arms 2
Primary - Surplus M4 [2SM] 1 $ per visit
Special - Riot Shield [Deflect 1 Injury per dive] 1 $ per visit
He grins back at me, a rare smile. He would've been a good looking guy to be truthful, short-cropped, all-American brown hair, lantern jaw, broad and earnest smile. Now his nose his bent, he's missing a tooth he hasn't been able to get a replacement for yet, and he's got raking scars over his forehead. I get Andres to turn down his bunk whenever he's out and sweep up any oxycontin he's got his hands on. I know he's in pain but those people are trying to kill him.
I sigh a little as I make my way to the back of the group, where an obnoxiously chipmunk-cute voice is nattering on and on. A girl in what looks like a maid's outfit with delusions of grandeur has a brand-new smartphone set up on a selfie-stick, recording a bouncy, pouty, infuriating presentation. All over her ... maid's outfit? Someone told you it was 'gothic lolita' but it doesn't look like any kids clothing you've ever seen, medieval or otherwise. But all over her outfit are little gun charms almost like prayer fetishes, and her stockings has an AK-47 print. She has glasses with cross-hair shapes on them, and a whole host of prints from sponsors, particularly set up behind her. A belt branded with CZUB completes the unholy ensemble.
Some people get their jollies to this sort of thing and those people are a full Baskin Robbins of flavours of Wrong. Eventually the girl reaches the end of her presentation and gives a peace sign and chirpily signs off with, "Magnum Ai desu!"
Then the camera is off and her face drops into a flat, unamused look. She flips up her fashionista glasses and reaches for the pack of cigarettes she had left next to the selfie-stick, banging on the pack to shake one free.
"Well," she says, looking up at me. She props the little white stick up in her mouth and lights it with a branded lighter. A long draw and then she snaps, "What the fuck do you want?"
"Fffuhhh, Fujimoto, fffuhhh," you correct. "You have to hit that F-sound. What the fuck do you want."
Her eyes light up and she nods. "Right, right, sorry. What the fuck do you want?"
"Perfect," you exclaim, before shedding your cheeful expression. "And I want to know if you're fucking ready yet, you primadonna. Everyone else is good to go."
"Two minutes and I'll get my memory card uploading," she says.
Skills: Small Arms 1, Sensor 1
Primary - Surplus M4 [2SM] 1 $ per visit
Secondary - Sponsored CZ75 Handgun [2SM] 2 $ per visit
Special - Surplus Sensor Drone Quadcopter [1 SR] 2 $
"Alright, fine," you say, waving a hand. "We don't want to miss our entry slot, or its no pay-bonuses and no thrilling new episode for you."
So, corporate had told you that you needed to get a social media influencer on your payroll. Something to help improve the profile of dungeon PMCs after that ... unfortunate business in Miami. Rather than listen to any of their paleo-dieting athletes or active-wear swathed instagram darlings, you went afield and got a social media influencer ... for the military-otaku demographic in Japan. Corporate pointed out that was not what they had in mind. You pointed out that you gave not one fuck.
The matter remains unsettled to this day.
You sometimes regret that act of defiance though - Fujimoto Ayumi is a really shitty drunk.
Before long, you're all at the gates to the dungeon, some big Jurassic Park type crap, fixed in place over the dive structure. All around you other PMCs - respectable, non garish-looking PMCs - are milling about, either fresh from the Cleveland Dungeon here in downtown Pittsburgh, or waiting their turn to go beneath.
The six of you come to a halt in front of company officials with badges and just enough authority to be pricks about it. They go over your submitted manifest and tick off every piece of equipment you're bringing in on their big sheet, making sure all of the insurance certificates are in order. Why you have to pay to bring in a goddamn quad-copter or a shield of all things... but it's in the contract.
If it's in the contract, God themselves may as well have come down and burned it into the mountainside. If it ain't in the contract, well, may as well pray cause nobody down on earth is gonna save you.
Eventually the grisly paperwork is done, and all that's left is the rather less impressive terror of slavering monsters and a dungeon full of devious traps.
"Alright, lock and-or load, people," you grunt as you walk up on the imposing darkened steel construct. The high-pitched whine of the gears and shriek of misaligned steel nearly downs out the warning sirens that flash their message across the compound.
They call you Gin the Lunatic, Gin the Mad-Bomber, All Gin No Tonic, Gin the Unicorn. They call you all kinds of shit, but when you're dressed to the nines with all your go-bangs and Play-Doh for Adults, the people on this base only call you Gin the Boss. And if they don't, they soon find out that when you flex on fools you do it with plastic explosive.
"Let's move out."
Name: Gin
Status: Boss
Background: Demolitions
Skills: Small Arms 1, Anti-Tank 1, Demolitions 3
Primary - Surplus M4 [2SM] 1 $ per visit
Secondary - Surplus M72, [2AT or 2DM] 2 $ per visit
Special - 1 Kg Satchel Charge [4 DM] 7 $ per visit
Name: Tom 'Duck' Li
Status: Full-time Employee
Background: Anti-Tank
Skills: Small Arms 2, Anti-Tank 3
Primary - Surplus M4 [2 SM] 1 $
Secondary - Surplus M72, [2AT or 2DM] 2 $
Special - AT4 - [4 AT or 3 DM] 4 $
- - - - -
Pittsburgh's own vaunted Cleveland Dungeon is a sporadically lit mix of blue-stone ancient seeming ruin and dazzling multi-hued rock formations. A labyrinthine set of corridors can anticlimactically end up in cavern as if the two structures had been smashed together in some great roulette, with multiple hallways all coming to an abrupt end at the bank of a creek.
It's at one of these sudden changes of scenery that you meet your first foes for the day. Ayumi is your point-person, with Andres following closely, and the rest of you keeping careful spacing as you follow behind. Ayumi has her go-pro on, but despite the constant chatter in the video, right now she's silent; all the commentary goes on in post.
Abruptly her fist goes up in the air and she freezes mid-step. Suddenly she about faces, rushing back towards you as Andres lets rip with a burst of fire from his UMP, the sound of the .45s thunderous in the cavern.
You're already in action, taking in the sight of the tunnels entrances ahead of you. "LB, cover right tunnel! Carter, Duck, main tunnel! I got left! Ayumi, cover rear!"
All of you rush up and slam into the far bank of the creek, lining your banged-up M4s with the entry points, trying to keep racing heartbeats under control. Even a veteran like you has your heart pounding. Just about anything could come around that corner, even on this early level.
Ayumi takes up a position where she has coverage through broken masonry on the three hallways that empty out into the cavern. With her safely back and plenty of cover set up behind him, Flores turn and rushes for your lines, yelling as he runs.
"Here comes some shit!"
-
Level 1 Challenge
Blue Drake
2 AT
Possible drops -
Common: 5 $, 10 $
Rare: Blue Drake Ring [User has intrinsic 1 SM]
Assorted monsters - 3 SM
-
When the titan comes around the corner, its scaly head like a living dinosaur, blue-tinged scales like brigandine all over its back and sides, you sigh inwardly. This ain't shit, Andres. Absolutely fearless in front of any number of man-size enemies you want, but your man Andres does not like dragons one bit.
"LAW out! Clear backblast!" you yell out before setting up on one knee and pulling your rocket launcher from where it was slung over your shoulder. You're well familiar with launcher, and in a matter of seconds you're sighting down the thick barrel.
Duck calls out from your side. "Goddamn cock-blocker!" he yells rather crudely. You don't pay it any mind - you have a Blue Drake to remove significant body mass from.
"Clear!" you yell again. The rocket fires in your hands, feeling about what you'd expect a semi-controlled explosion on your shoulder to feel like. The rocket lances out and impacts the drake just below the left-eye in a glorious spray of roiling fire and dragony-kibbles.
Other smaller creatures stagger around the mortally wounded drake and stumble into a hail of small arms fire. The cavern is swiftly cleared out and you start to rise from the creekbed heaving sighs of relief.
-
Gin's M72 used up
3/16 SM used up
Loot roll breakpoints - [45, 98] - 98 - Blue Drake Ring get!
(Wait, what)
-
While poking through the faintly steaming roast meat slab that is the Blue Drake, you come across a rather startling discovery.
"Holy shit, it dropped a Ring," you blurt out, and are immediately mobbed by your suddenly unprofessional colleague.
"A Blue Drake Ring, I've never seen one before," mutters Shawn.
"Lucky you, boss," says Sam.
Ayumi shakes her head. "I have got to put that on my show."
You pocket it before you all get killed like chumps and shoo everyone back into position. There's a lot of dungeon yet to go, and plenty of time to ooh and aah over your new shiny later. Assuming you can get it through those fucking corporate guys on the door.
Together your Fluffy Pink Unicorns head down to the next level, only picking off the odd straggler. After descending you find yourself in a long hallway, with doors coming off at intervals from either side. It's a slow and steady approach providing cross-coverage, right up until the hallway starts to shake.
"Environmental hazard?" calls out Shawn.
"Big boy?" asks Duck.
"Nah, reckon we're 'bout to get bumrushed," says Sam.
"I think LB's right, this is a rush," says Andres. He gets down on the cold stone floor and settles into place with his squad automatic, the big bastard of a weapon sitting up on its bipod as he aims it down the hallway.
"I think he's right too," you say, before quickly barking instructions. "Ayumi, Duck, eyes front. LB, Shawn, cover back. Andres, you got this."
Andres justs laughs. "Of course I've got this, boss, this is what you underpay me for."
-
Level 2 Challenge
Cleveland Mob Rush
3 FP
Possible drops -
Common: 2 $, 6 $, 9 $
Rare: Kobold's Charm [+1 FP to any FP weapon carried by this wielder]
Assorted monsters - 3 SM
-
The SAW acts like its moniker when the kobolds pour into the far end of the hallway, the front ranks of the charge crumpling under like they ran into a buzz-saw. They recoil like punched by heavy-weight boxers as the bullets smack home but then almost immediately disappear as the wave continues on. You pour your own rounds out, not into the wave, but picking off constant arrivals from the various doorways.
There's a lot of theories as to how the Dungeons are able to constantly have so many monsters available. The reset that takes place after you leave makes the most sense to you, though. All these kobolds dying under the constant belt-fed fire of Andres will be made anew by this great violent loot machine they call a Dungeon.
"Reloading!" bellows Andres into the ear-ringing soundscape as his belt runs dry. He pulls a zip-bag with another belt of ammunition and pulls the leading tab out. Every second he takes, smooth and well-practiced as he is, is another second those little bastards eat up the distance. But if you have to bet on anyone in a situation like this, you bet on Andres.
He comes through for you, naturally, his dangerously overheating weapon finally falling silent halfway through his third belt. You can't even hear the tinkling of brass clattering across the hallway your ears are ringing so.
"Good shit, Andres," you yell out, patting him on the shoulder. He gives you a thumbs up.
-
Andres's M249 3/4 charges used, 1 left
Total 6/16 SM used up
Loot roll breakpoints - [30, 60, 98] - 55- Gain 6 $ Loot
-
You go further down the Dungeon after that, and find a large open cavern, centred around a crystal clear pool. Of course, you aren't alone. The six of you take positions as you overlook the slope leading to the pool. And on the far end of the water feature is a horde of raptor-looking creatures.
-
Level 3 Challenge
Cleveland Quickfang Rush
4 FP
Possible drops -
Common: 5 $, 10 $, 16 $
Rare: Raptor's Charm [One-time use to halve FP requirement of a challenge]
Assorted monsters - 1 SM
-
Not quite as tough as they look at first, but plenty mean, and deadlier than the kobolds. And with Andres already nearly out of his squad automatic ammo, you're going to have to make up the shortfall somehow. Of course, maybe there's another option. Duck is hissing at you, and pointing to a dark tunnel that leads off in another direction. You can go through there, and use just a tiny bit of your explosives to close it behind you ... but after that the only way out is through. You'll have to clear the fifth level and make your way back out through there.
Or, you take on the Quickfangs and make do. You'll have to waste good shit on messy makeshift work, but you can do it, and then you'll be safe to withdraw at any time.
One thing is for sure, though, you aren't pulling out now. You've already paid for these shiny toys and goddammit, you'll get your money's worth.
[ ][FORK] Take the fork and face a random challenge, but no horde. You'll have to beat the next two levels to escape though.
[ ][FORK] Just run the bastards over, even if you have to waste resources to do it.
-[ ] If you take this option, list what tokens you want to use to make up the shortfall.
Andres has one FP left, so to make up the shortfall of 3 FP tokens, you need to select 6 tokens of other types. Pick what equipment pieces you want to exhaust to make up the short-fall. Remember that only Small Arms and Firepower let you get away with partial-spends.