World's Laziest Genie

"Attack Helicopter is not a gender!"

"*sigh*, fine" *and then the Genie was a Chinook*

"... Transport Helicopter isn't either!"

"... Bigot" *and then the Genie was a jet plane*

"I give up."

"Good".
More like "Hello, WishCorp tech support? Yeah, my genie seems to have gotten stuck looking like various aircraft and refuses to take a humanlike form. Can I return them and get another please?"

BAD END

Achievement Unlock: Speedrun! (find a Bad End before you're even out of chargen)
 
[X] Crystal (+ Magic, +Tech, - Common Sense, - Physical strength)

[X] been Bound for a bit (4-10 Clients)(12 points)

[X] Divination (3 points)
[X] Teleportation (7 points)
[X] Conjuration (2 points)

[X] Lifelong Companion (You're stuck with your current client until they expire, one way or another)

[X] a 6-year old girl wearing a black dress and with a very sparkly wand strapped to her thigh; the room is coated in occult iconography and there looks to be a rudimentary potionmaking kit on the desk.

[X] Female Appearance: Cerulean.
 
[X] Ludicrously Extravagant Pirate Hat (???)
[X] been Bound for a bit (4-10 Clients)(12 points)
[X] Duplication (12 points)(Enables Riot Quest voting)
[X] a 6-year old girl wearing a black dress and with a very sparkly wand strapped to her thigh; the room is coated in occult iconography and there looks to be a rudimentary potionmaking kit on the desk.
[X] Lifelong Companion (You're stuck with your current client until they expire, one way or another)
[X]I sexually identify as an attack helicopter

So with duplication you have a fleet of cat size helicopters following around a 6 year old girl doing her biding.
 
[X] Ludicrously Extravagant Pirate Hat (???)
[X] been Bound for a bit (4-10 Clients)(12 points)
[X] Duplication (12 points)(Enables Riot Quest voting)
[X] a 6-year old girl wearing a black dress and with a very sparkly wand strapped to her thigh; the room is coated in occult iconography and there looks to be a rudimentary potionmaking kit on the desk.
[X] Lifelong Companion (You're stuck with your current client until they expire, one way or another)
[X]I sexually identify as an attack helicopter
 
[X] Lamp
[X] been Bound for a bit (4-10 Clients)(12 points)
[X] Duplication (12 points)(Enables Riot Quest voting)
[X]A teenage boy covered in zits; looks like a fairly standard bedroom on 21st century Earth, bed,desktop computer, closet, video-game console setup, piles of dirty laundry, the works.
[X] Lifelong Companion (You're stuck with your current client until they expire, one way or another)
[X]I sexually identify as an attack helicopter
 
[X] Lamp
[X] been Bound since before the current management was born! And he's a 300 year old dragon! (over 1,000,000 Clients served!)(50 points, corporate highly suspects your proclivities)
[X] Duplication (12 points)(Enables Riot Quest voting)
[X] Conjuration (2 points)(create temporary items. They disappear in a puff of logic when no longer being observed.)
[X] Forgery (1 point, requires conjuration)(Conjure fake documents/money (bills only)/ID. Unlike all other conjurations, these are permanent)
[X] Evocation (2 points)(energy shields, various blaster effects, telekinesis)
[X] Divination (3 points)(Scrying, a bit of precog, that sort of stuff)
[X] Endowment (4 points)(Can grant mortals the ability to use any of your powers. This requires active maintenance.)
[X] Blending (4 points)(You have enough control over your shape-shifting and behavior to reliably pass for human)
[X] Healing Aura (4 points)(Allows the curing of various ailments within a variable radius of yourself)
[X] Delusion (6 points)(Can fool someone's mind so they think they're in some absurd situation. They will act as they normally would in such a situation. This cannot be used on your Client.)
[X] Transmutation (6 points)(Can temporarily shape-shift other people)
[X] Teleportation (7 points)(Payload Limit of 2 tons, range limit of 100 km)
[X] A gruff-looking fellow with a plaid shirt; you look to be in a log cabin. Various carpentry and woodcutting tools can be seen hanging from the walls.
[X] Lifelong Companion (You're stuck with your current client until they expire, one way or another)
[X] I sexually identify as an attack helicopter.
 
[X] Ludicrously Extravagant Pirate Hat (???)
[X] been Bound for a bit (4-10 Clients)(12 points)
[X] Duplication (12 points)(Enables Riot Quest voting)
[X] a 6-year old girl wearing a black dress and with a very sparkly wand strapped to her thigh; the room is coated in occult iconography and there looks to be a rudimentary potionmaking kit on the desk.
[X] Lifelong Companion (You're stuck with your current client until they expire, one way or another)
[X] I sexually identify as an attack helicopter.
 
[x] Crystal (+ Magic, +Tech, - Common Sense, - Physical strength)
[X] been Bound for a few years (50-100 Clients)(20 points, corporate has some inkling of your tendencies)
[X](INNATE) Selective Visibility
[X](INNATE) Selective Tangibility
[X](INNATE) Flight
[X](INNATE) Shapeshifting (self-only)
[x] Evocation (2 points)(energy shields, various blaster effects, telekinesis)
[x] Divination (3 points)(Scrying, a bit of precog, that sort of stuff)
[x] Endowment (4 points)(Can grant mortals the ability to use any of your powers. This requires active maintenance.)
[x] Healing Aura (4 points)(Allows the curing of various ailments within a variable radius of yourself)
[x] Teleportation (7 points)(Payload Limit of 2 tons, range limit of 100 km)
[x] Female Appearance 1 (Cerulean)
[x] A teenage boy covered in zits; looks like a fairly standard bedroom on 21st century Earth, bed, desktop computer, closet, video-game console setup, piles of dirty laundry, the works.
[x] Lifelong Companion (You're stuck with your current client until they expire, one way or another)
 
Vote tally:
##### 3.21
[X] Ludicrously Extravagant Pirate Hat (???)
No. of votes: 8
Nevill, Terrabrand, SkyCrab, Shade.ninja, Space Multiply, Bass11, Vanestus, veekie

[X] been Bound for a bit (4-10 Clients)(12 points)
No. of votes: 11
Nevill, Walker of the Yellow Path, Terrabrand, SkyCrab, Shade.ninja, Space Multiply, Zoxabels, Bass11, Vanestus, Exter, veekie

[X] Duplication (12 points)(Enables Riot Quest voting)
No. of votes: 11
Nevill, wertsir, Terrabrand, SkyCrab, Shade.ninja, Space Multiply, Bass11, Vanestus, Exter, Erehwon, veekie


[X] Lifelong Companion (You're stuck with your current client until they expire, one way or another)
No. of votes: 16
Nevill, Walker of the Yellow Path, wertsir, Terrabrand, Rossum, SkyCrab, That-Random-Guy, Shade.ninja, Space Multiply, Zoxabels, Bass11, Vanestus, Exter, Erehwon, veekie, Zaratustra

[X] A teenage boy covered in zits; looks like a fairly standard bedroom on 21st century Earth, bed, desktop computer, closet, video-game console setup, piles of dirty laundry, the works.
No. of votes: 5
Nevill, Rossum, That-Random-Guy, Exter, Zaratustra

[X] Crystal (+ Magic, +Tech, - Common Sense, - Physical strength)
No. of votes: 6
Walker of the Yellow Path, wertsir, Rossum, That-Random-Guy, Zoxabels, Zaratustra

[X] Divination (3 points)
No. of votes: 2
Walker of the Yellow Path, Zoxabels

[X] Teleportation (7 points)
No. of votes: 2
Walker of the Yellow Path, Zoxabels

[X] Conjuration (2 points)
No. of votes: 2
Walker of the Yellow Path, Zoxabels

[X] a 6-year old girl wearing a black dress and with a very sparkly wand strapped to her thigh; the room is coated in occult iconography and there looks to be a rudimentary potionmaking kit on the desk.
No. of votes: 10
Walker of the Yellow Path, wertsir, Terrabrand, SkyCrab, Shade.ninja, Space Multiply, Zoxabels, Bass11, Vanestus, veekie

[X] Female Appearance: Cerulean.
No. of votes: 2
Walker of the Yellow Path, Zoxabels

[X] been Bound since before the current management was born! And he's a 300 year old dragon! (over 1,000,000 Clients served!)(50 points, corporate highly suspects your proclivities)
No. of votes: 2
wertsir, Erehwon

[X](INNATE) Selective Visibility
No. of votes: 3
wertsir, Rossum, Zaratustra

[X](INNATE) Selective Tangibility
No. of votes: 4
wertsir, Rossum, That-Random-Guy, Zaratustra

[X](INNATE) Flight
No. of votes: 4
wertsir, Rossum, That-Random-Guy, Zaratustra

[X](INNATE) Shapeshifting (self-only)
No. of votes: 4
wertsir, Rossum, That-Random-Guy, Zaratustra

[X] Forgery (1 point, requires conjuration)(Conjure fake documents/money (bills only)/ID. Unlike all other conjurations, these are permanent)
No. of votes: 2
wertsir, Erehwon

[X] Divination (3 points)(Scrying, a bit of precog, that sort of stuff)
No. of votes: 5
wertsir, Rossum, That-Random-Guy, Erehwon, Zaratustra

[X] Blending (4 points)(You have enough control over your shape-shifting and behavior to reliably pass for human)
No. of votes: 2
wertsir, Erehwon

[X] Male Appearance 1
No. of votes: 1
wertsir

[X]I sexually identify as an attack helicopter
No. of votes: 11
Terrabrand, theflyingbiscuit, SkyCrab, Shade.ninja, Space Multiply, Bass11, Vanestus, dunk1010, Exter, Erehwon, veekie

[X] been Bound for a few years (50-100 Clients)(20 points, corporate has some inkling of your tendencies)
No. of votes: 2
Rossum, Zaratustra

[x] Evocation (2 points)(energy shields, various blaster effects, telekinesis)
No. of votes: 4
Rossum, That-Random-Guy, Erehwon, Zaratustra

[x] Endowment (4 points)(Can grant mortals the ability to use any of your powers. This requires active maintenance.)
No. of votes: 4
Rossum, That-Random-Guy, Erehwon, Zaratustra

[x] Healing Aura (4 points)(Allows the curing of various ailments within a variable radius of yourself)
No. of votes: 4
Rossum, That-Random-Guy, Erehwon, Zaratustra

[x] Teleportation (7 points)(Payload Limit of 2 tons, range limit of 100 km)
No. of votes: 4
Rossum, That-Random-Guy, Erehwon, Zaratustra

[x] Female Appearance 1 (Cerulean)
No. of votes: 3
Rossum, That-Random-Guy, Zaratustra

[X] been Bound for a few years (50-100 Clients)(20 points, corporate has some inkling of your tendencies)[X](INNATE) Selective Visibility
No. of votes: 1
That-Random-Guy

[X] Lamp
No. of votes: 2
Exter, Erehwon

[X] Delusion (6 points)(Can fool someone's mind so they think they're in some absurd situation. They will act as they normally would in such a situation. This cannot be used on your Client.)
No. of votes: 1
Erehwon

[X] Transmutation (6 points)(Can temporarily shape-shift other people)
No. of votes: 1
Erehwon

[X] Conjuration (2 points)(create temporary items. They disappear in a puff of logic when no longer being observed.)
No. of votes: 1
Erehwon

[X] Male Appearance 3 (Akinator)
No. of votes: 1
Nevill

[X] A gruff-looking fellow with a plaid shirt; you look to be in a log cabin. Various carpentry and woodcutting tools can be seen hanging from the walls.
No. of votes: 1
Erehwon
 
@I just write
The winning vote:

[] Ludicrously Extravagant Pirate Hat (???)

[] been Bound for a bit (4-10 Clients)(12 points)

[] Duplication (12 points)(Enables Riot Quest voting)

[] Lifelong Companion (You're stuck with your current client until they expire, one way or another)

[] a 6-year old girl wearing a black dress and with a very sparkly wand strapped to her thigh; the room is coated in occult iconography and there looks to be a rudimentary potionmaking kit on the desk.

[]I sexually identify as an attack helicopter
 
Last edited:
@I just write
The winning vote:

[] Ludicrously Extravagant Pirate Hat (???)

[] been Bound for a bit (4-10 Clients)(12 points)

[] Duplication (12 points)(Enables Riot Quest voting)

[] Lifelong Companion (You're stuck with your current client until they expire, one way or another)

[] a 6-year old girl wearing a black dress and with a very sparkly wand strapped to her thigh; the room is coated in occult iconography and there looks to be a rudimentary potionmaking kit on the desk.

[]I sexually identify as an attack helicopter
Aaaaand watched.

I don't think I've laughed this hard since Zerban's Prisma Alfons quest, and this isn't even out of chargen.
 
I'll start writing Monday evening. Right now I'm busy with Causality Hopscotch.
 
Oh by the way, here's what the pirate hat does.
(Talk like a pirate |Physical Strength ++ |Magic ++ | Tech++ | Common Sense -6)
 
No, I mean in crunch. What kind of stuff will be made worse by our inability to comprehend things unrelated to rum or sailing?
 
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