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World's Laziest Genie

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In this Quest, you play as a Genie, a normally non-sapient minor spirit bound to an item called...
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    • We Just Write

    We Just Write

    Blatantly Plural
    Location
    New England
    Pronouns
    Plural
    In this Quest, you play as a Genie, a normally non-sapient minor spirit bound to an item called a Focus and magically compelled to obey the orders of your item's owner. In your case, your
    [] Lamp (No bonuses or maluses)
    [] Bottle (+Physical Strength +Common Sense, - Magic, - Tech)
    [] Clay Tablet (+Physical Strength, + Magic, - Common Sense, - Tech)
    [] Crystal (+ Magic, +Tech, - Common Sense, - Physical strength)
    [] Hand Mirror (+ Magic, + Common Sense, - Magic, - Physical Strength)
    [] Toolbox (+Tech, + Physical Strength, - Common Sense, - Magic)
    [] USB drive (+ Tech, + Common Sense, - physical strength, - Magic)
    [] Ludicrously Extravagant Pirate Hat (???)
    is owned by the Interdimensional Wishgranting Corporation (abbreviated as WishCorp), which leases you out to various clients across the multiverse.

    All Genies have some handy supernatural abilities, which vary by individual. These powers grow over time, and you've
    [] been Bound for less than 48 hours (First Client!)(6 points)
    [] been Bound for a bit (4-10 Clients)(12 points)
    [] been Bound for a few years (50-100 Clients)(20 points, corporate has some inkling of your tendencies)
    [] been Bound since before the current management was born! And he's a 300 year old dragon! (over 1,000,000 Clients served!)(50 points, corporate highly suspects your proclivities)

    As for your powers, you've put most of your effort into developing
    [X](INNATE) Selective Visibility
    [X](INNATE) Selective Tangibility
    [X](INNATE) Flight
    [X](INNATE) Shapeshifting (self-only)
    [] Conjuration (2 points)(create temporary items. They disappear in a puff of logic when no longer being observed.)
    [] Forgery (1 point, requires conjuration)(Conjure fake documents/money (bills only)/ID. Unlike all other conjurations, these are permanent)
    [] Evocation (2 points)(energy shields, various blaster effects, telekinesis)
    [] Divination (3 points)(Scrying, a bit of precog, that sort of stuff)
    [] Slippery (3 points)(you remain conscious in your item between wishes, and can leave it to wander around with a bit of effort. If corporate finds out you can do this, they'll order you not to, and you won't be able to say no.)
    [] Endowment (4 points)(Can grant mortals the ability to use any of your powers. This requires active maintenance.)
    [] Blending (4 points)(You have enough control over your shape-shifting and behavior to reliably pass for human)
    [] Healing Aura (4 points)(Allows the curing of various ailments within a variable radius of yourself)
    [] Delusion (6 points)(Can fool someone's mind so they think they're in some absurd situation. They will act as they normally would in such a situation. This cannot be used on your Client.)
    [] Transmutation (6 points)(Can temporarily shape-shift other people)
    [] Teleportation (7 points)(Payload Limit of 2 tons, range limit of 100 km)
    [] Duplication (12 points)(Enables Riot Quest voting)

    Before we begin, there's a couple other things we need to know about you. First, although genies are technically formless and genderless, most have some variety of preferred shape they like to use, yours is
    []
    []
    []
    []
    []
    []
    []

    Also, WishCorp has its genies divided into a few categories based on how they get leased out, which one are you in?
    [] Wish Bundle (Clients buy a set number of wishes before you are automatically returned to WishCorp's storage facilities)
    [] Timed Rental (Clients rent you for a period of time, during which they can boss you around however they want)
    [] Lifelong Companion (You're stuck with your current client until they expire, one way or another)

    Anyway, you've just been assigned to a Client, and as your Focus is activated you see
    [] A gruff-looking fellow with a plaid shirt; you look to be in a log cabin. Various carpentry and woodcutting tools can be seen hanging from the walls.
    [] A teenage boy covered in zits; looks like a fairly standard bedroom on 21st century Earth, bed, desktop computer, closet, video-game console setup, piles of dirty laundry, the works.
    [] a 6-year old girl wearing a black dress and with a very sparkly wand strapped to her thigh; the room is coated in occult iconography and there looks to be a rudimentary potionmaking kit on the desk.
    [] an old man wearing a suit that practically screams "I am a rich asshole, please shoot me". The room supports this, featuring an expensive hardwood floor, shining marble making up the walls, and another genie towards the back of the room who nervously waves to you.

    Thanks to the magical compulsion binding you to your item (and granting you individuality) you have no choice but to use your abilities to grant the wishes of your masters, with resistance not being a possibility you can even think of.

    ...But that would take work!​

    Much to the dismay of your owners at WishCorp if they ever knew, your particular personality leads you to fulfill your client's wishes in the manner that results in the least effort on your part. What, do they think you can just snap your fingers and tell reality to sod off? That's just not how it works! Needless to say, it's very much in your best interests for corporate to never find out about this particular tendency of yours.
     
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  • Threadmarks
    • You get them depending on your selected age, and then you spend them on powers. Powers follow plan voting.
     
    [X] Ludicrously Extravagant Pirate Hat (???)
    [X] been Bound for a bit (4-10 Clients)(12 points)
    [X] Duplication (12 points)(Enables Riot Quest voting)
    [X] Male Appearance 3 (Akinator)
    [X] Lifelong Companion (You're stuck with your current client until they expire, one way or another)
    [X] A teenage boy covered in zits; looks like a fairly standard bedroom on 21st century Earth, bed, desktop computer, closet, video-game console setup, piles of dirty laundry, the works.

    Genie-riot quest go! I think it's the most efficient way to make our clients expire before WishCorps wises up to our tricks.
     
    [X] Crystal (+ Magic, +Tech, - Common Sense, - Physical strength)

    [X] been Bound for a bit (4-10 Clients)(12 points)

    [X] Divination (3 points)
    [X] Teleportation (7 points)
    [X] Conjuration (2 points)

    [X] Lifelong Companion (You're stuck with your current client until they expire, one way or another)

    [X] a 6-year old girl wearing a black dress and with a very sparkly wand strapped to her thigh; the room is coated in occult iconography and there looks to be a rudimentary potionmaking kit on the desk.

    [X] Female Appearance: Cerulean.
     
    Just so everyone knows, only powers are operating via plan voting. The rest is individual votes.

    EDIT: @Nevill the goal isn't to kill your Clients, the goal is to avoid work!
     
    [X] Crystal (+ Magic, +Tech, - Common Sense, - Physical strength)
    [X] been Bound since before the current management was born! And he's a 300 year old dragon! (over 1,000,000 Clients served!)(50 points, corporate highly suspects your proclivities)
    [X](INNATE) Selective Visibility
    [X](INNATE) Selective Tangibility
    [X](INNATE) Flight
    [X](INNATE) Shapeshifting (self-only)
    [X] Forgery (1 point, requires conjuration)(Conjure fake documents/money (bills only)/ID. Unlike all other conjurations, these are permanent)
    [X] Divination (3 points)(Scrying, a bit of precog, that sort of stuff)
    [X] Blending (4 points)(You have enough control over your shape-shifting and behavior to reliably pass for human)
    [X] Duplication (12 points)(Enables Riot Quest voting)
    [X] Male Appearance 1
    [X] Lifelong Companion (You're stuck with your current client until they expire, one way or another)
    [X] a 6-year old girl wearing a black dress and with a very sparkly wand strapped to her thigh; the room is coated in occult iconography and there looks to be a rudimentary potionmaking kit on the desk.

    Do genies get tenure?

    The powers are geared towards laziness. why, we barely have to use our powers at all! after all, the easiest way to get most things is to just walk up and ask for it with a wheelbarrow of cash.
     
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    Nevill said:
    I don't see a problem with my logic. Less clients, less work.

    Hm, are we even get paid for our work, anyway? With what? And what do WishCorp do with the genies they consider defective?
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    No, you don't get paid. Also, WishCorp never told you what they do with defective genies, but it probably isn't nice.
     
    Nevill said:
    I don't see a problem with my logic. Less clients, less work.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    See, the problem with this logic is that we would just be assigned a new client, and the process would continue until we got one savvy enough to avoid being killed. at which point we would be stuck with a capable master, which is much more work than an incompetent one.
     
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    [X] Ludicrously Extravagant Pirate Hat (???)
    [X] been Bound for a bit (4-10 Clients)(12 points)
    [X] Duplication (12 points)(Enables Riot Quest voting)
    [X] a 6-year old girl wearing a black dress and with a very sparkly wand strapped to her thigh; the room is coated in occult iconography and there looks to be a rudimentary potionmaking kit on the desk.
    [X] Lifelong Companion (You're stuck with your current client until they expire, one way or another)
    [X]I sexually identify as an attack helicopter


    Yeah, the attack helicopter option is too hilarious for me not to do.

    "Oh great and powerful genie! I summon thee" *Attack Helicopter appears* "WTF?"
     
    [x] Crystal (+ Magic, +Tech, - Common Sense, - Physical strength)

    [X] been Bound for a few years (50-100 Clients)(20 points, corporate has some inkling of your tendencies)

    [X](INNATE) Selective Visibility
    [X](INNATE) Selective Tangibility
    [X](INNATE) Flight
    [X](INNATE) Shapeshifting (self-only)

    [x] Evocation (2 points)(energy shields, various blaster effects, telekinesis)
    [x] Divination (3 points)(Scrying, a bit of precog, that sort of stuff)
    [x] Endowment (4 points)(Can grant mortals the ability to use any of your powers. This requires active maintenance.)
    [x] Healing Aura (4 points)(Allows the curing of various ailments within a variable radius of yourself)
    [x] Teleportation (7 points)(Payload Limit of 2 tons, range limit of 100 km)

    [x] Female Appearance 1 (Cerulean)

    [x] A teenage boy covered in zits; looks like a fairly standard bedroom on 21st century Earth, bed, desktop computer, closet, video-game console setup, piles of dirty laundry, the works.
    [x] Lifelong Companion (You're stuck with your current client until they expire, one way or another)

    For maximum laziness... we grant our Master the power to grant their own wishes!

    Basically, Endowment is the lynchpin of this plan. If our master wishes for something, we use our Divination to find out a decent way to do that, and then grant them a set of powers they can use to get that. At the very least, granting them healing powers should give a pretty easily exploitable source of money.

    Like... say we start with the zity teenager. If he asks for love, money, or anything else we start off by curing his acne and general unflattering appearance to make him look better. Then some quick divination or teleportation to get him wherever he needs to go. Add in things like our inate flight, invisibility, shapeshifting and potential for telekinesis and stuff... we can basically turn out 'master' into a superhero. With superpowers and a 'helpful' genie to guide them, our master should be able to grant any wish they want by themselves.

    Note that my current set of skills only adds up to 23 points... which is three points above "You've been around for years." option and 27 points below "You're older than a 300 year old dragon" option. But I seriously think it's about the minimum set of powers we would need to basically let our Masters grant their own wishes while we chill out in our focus item or move around on our own. Though I suppose we could lose either Divination or the power to move outside our item if we want to trim it down to 20 points.

    Honestly, a genie that grants powers instead of 'poofing' things into existence would probably be the better option since it gives the wisher much more control over the end result. If they ask for something we've never heard of, we can just give them the power to do it themselves while we chill out. And since we have a lifelong contract, we can give our Master years to practice these powers and more or less do whatever they want.


    Edit: Removed Slippery as per That-Random-Guy's suggestion.
     
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    Terrabrand said:
    Yeah, the attack helicopter option is too hilarious for me not to do.

    "Oh great and powerful genie! I summon thee" *Attack Helicopter appears* "WTF?"
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    I don't know man, having to spin all those blades all the time seems like an awful lot of work....
     
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    [X] Ludicrously Extravagant Pirate Hat (???)
    [X] been Bound for a bit (4-10 Clients)(12 points)
    [X] Duplication (12 points)(Enables Riot Quest voting)
    [X] a 6-year old girl wearing a black dress and with a very sparkly wand strapped to her thigh; the room is coated in occult iconography and there looks to be a rudimentary potionmaking kit on the desk.
    [X] Lifelong Companion (You're stuck with your current client until they expire, one way or another)
    [X]I sexually identify as an attack helicopter
    We... Must... BE AN ATTACK HELICOPTAHHHH!!!!!!!!
     
    Rossum said:
    snip
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    This looks quite good, but I think the Slippery power should be trimmed off. If we do that, we can switch to management only slightly suspecting us, which is a big deal because it means that the group that can cause a bad end at anytime is not suspicious of us. Besides, lifetime contracts should give us plenty of time to practise new skills, like being slippery. P. S. I heretofore dub this plan Rossum Altered 1

    [x] Crystal (+ Magic, +Tech, - Common Sense, - Physical strength)
    [X] been Bound for a few years (50-100 Clients)(20 points, corporate has some inkling of your tendencies)[X](INNATE) Selective Visibility
    [X](INNATE) Selective Tangibility
    [X](INNATE) Flight
    [X](INNATE) Shapeshifting (self-only)
    [x] Evocation (2 points)(energy shields, various blaster effects, telekinesis)
    [x] Divination (3 points)(Scrying, a bit of precog, that sort of stuff)
    [x] Endowment (4 points)(Can grant mortals the ability to use any of your powers. This requires active maintenance.)
    [x] Healing Aura (4 points)(Allows the curing of various ailments within a variable radius of yourself)
    [x] Teleportation (7 points)(Payload Limit of 2 tons, range limit of 100 km)
    [x] Female Appearance 1 (Cerulean)
    [x] A teenage boy covered in zits; looks like a fairly standard bedroom on 21st century Earth, bed, desktop computer, closet, video-game console setup, piles of dirty laundry, the works.
    [x] Lifelong Companion (You're stuck with your current client until they expire, one way or another)
     
    [X] Ludicrously Extravagant Pirate Hat (???)
    [X] been Bound for a bit (4-10 Clients)(12 points)
    [X] Duplication (12 points)(Enables Riot Quest voting)
    [X] a 6-year old girl wearing a black dress and with a very sparkly wand strapped to her thigh; the room is coated in occult iconography and there looks to be a rudimentary potionmaking kit on the desk.
    [X] Lifelong Companion (You're stuck with your current client until they expire, one way or another)
    [X]I sexually identify as an attack helicopter

    Why not be an attack helicopter.
     
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    [X] Ludicrously Extravagant Pirate Hat (???)
    [X] been Bound for a bit (4-10 Clients)(12 points)
    [X] Duplication (12 points)(Enables Riot Quest voting)
    [X] a 6-year old girl wearing a black dress and with a very sparkly wand strapped to her thigh; the room is coated in occult iconography and there looks to be a rudimentary potionmaking kit on the desk.
    [X] Lifelong Companion (You're stuck with your current client until they expire, one way or another)
    [X] I sexually identify as an attack helicopter.

    On board all the way!
     
    theflyingbiscuit said:
    We can fly. We dont use them for flight. We use them as blades.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    What, so we're going to be an attack helicopter with completely stationary blades? that's just silly, the other helicopters will make fun of us. (We would literally have to pull off some miraculous Santa's sleigh BS to join in any of the 'copter games.)

    Honestly, at this point it just seems like you are mocking helisexuality, and that is something I cannot abide. do you know how many brave Ugandan's have been killed for sexually identifying as an attack helicopter? literally a number.

    And you would make fun of that strong cultural heritage by mockingly hovering in the sky without the use of our rotor blades? how dare you good sir, how dare you.
     
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