With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Story Only)

[Mr Zoat]

26th December
And it's been a long day already

I… Actually wasn't expecting that. When he didn't go for me immediately…

"3:1 No. Not Karrien as well."

He looks so devastated that I'm tempted to say something to try and cheer him up, but honestly..? At this point I'd rather just nuke the whole miserable lot of them. I'm sure that anyone who wants to can find their way to the Source just fine without them. But why is Karrien going against the express wishes-?

Oh. Of course.

"He still regards the source of his orders as a higher authority than you. So he considers you illegitimate and anyone standing with you the enemies of your god."

"3:2 I believe we have established at this point that those orders did not come-."

"But it told him it was before you told him that it wasn't. This is what happens without free will!"

He grimaces. "3:3 I will conditionally accept this devil's bargain, on the condition that Satanus will accept being bound to leave once the threat to the Silver City is removed."

"And what does he get?"

"Illustres?"

I look down to where Ragnar and… Some other Orange Lantern whose name I can't immediately recall, float, waiting for me to deign to address them. New chap is Karaxian, wearing what looks like an armoured leotard. I'm not seeing a spare ring….

"One moment. King Raphael, if I am to negotiate for aid, you will have to offer him something."

"3:4 If you know his mind so well, what does he want?"

"Hell. You agree to recognise his sovereignty, recall Remiel and Duma and under no circumstances send angels there in future."

"3:6 That would cripple our ability to-."

"And?"

Raphael hesitates, looking over to the swirling melee as a flight of abominations under… Harm, of course, heads for the Silver City itself.

"3:7 I agree."

"Thank you. With me, Lanterns. Try and look like professional, well-disciplined soldiers."

Ragnar grimaces as I slither upwards towards the top of the wall. "I am well-disciplined."

"Then it should be an easy pretence, Lantern Ragnar. New Lantern, what's your name?"

"Lantern Onik, Great Master."

I could make a 'that's a long name' joke, but it's been a long day. "Any particular reason why Clarissi Dox sent you?"

"I was a novice in a Source-worshipping monastery before my calling, Great Master."

A priestly Lantern. My own mini-me. How thoughtful.

I crest the wall, the angels angeling the battlement backing off in a rare display of good sense.

"Was your monastery home to any species with an innate connection to the Source?"

"No, Great Master."

"Take a look around while you're here, and you'll see why that was a good thing."

And there's Mammon's army. Dispersed formation, already dug in, some sort of energy shields protecting the infantry and artillery pieces and more than a few mechanical… Thingies. Not a lot of fliers that I can see, but then I couldn't see the Scabbies in advance of their deployment.

Now, where is he?

Where is he?

Where is he?

Ah, there.

Flickers of fear shine out as the army comes alert in response to me flowing through the air towards their command post. Someone loses their nerve and a brief smattering of ectoplasma bolts fly at me before evaporating into nothingness about three metres from my body. Huh. I was planning to use a shield construct, but fine, I'll take it.

"SATAAAAANUS! I WANT A WOOOORD!"

There's a puff of lilac flame from… Another part of the hellish lines as a body double gets activated, posing as Satanus in full plate. But fine, if the angels get even more stupid having them not know where he is might help a little. I swoop down, stopping with my head about a metre away from him and with my tail undulating in the air behind me like I think I'm a Chinese dragon or something.

"I think you're the oddest looking angel I've ever seen. Including the ones made of wheels, wings and eyes."

"Not an angel. Come on, I'm glowing orange and I died recently."

"Paul?"

"I know. Surprised everyone that I came here. What are you doing?"

"Laying siege to the Silver City as retribution for their attack on my domain. We dealt them a solid blow at Masak Mavdil and I intend to capitalise on it." He looks left and then right along his lines. "Forgive me for keeping a portion of my forces back during that battle. I felt that a mobile reserve was more useful than an extra easily-bypassable trench line. I'm not here particularly to break you out, but I don't hate the idea."

"Okay, a lot of stupid things have happened lately and I probably don't have time to go into all of them. Do you still want to rule Hell?"

"Yes?"

"Neron has a pact of some kind with Asmodel. His forces have already taken their gate, and the angels are busy killing each other. You can't do better than that as far as attacking goes."

Actual-Satanus would either give it a go or go home at this point. But this is Mammon.

"On the other hand, you can barter. Trade your aid to the angels in return for a non-interference pact."

"Help… The angels."

"Neron's helping angels against other angels, so you don't really lose anything. You get to claim that he did it first, you get to perform a public transition from the old style demon-run torture nightmare Hell to… Just another afterlife which the inhabitants can make of what they will."

I shift forwards a little.

"Hell has a bit of an image problem at present, as I'm sure that you're aware. And on the off-chance that one of your people actually kills Asmodel… You'll have a major claim to fame."

"And Karrien Excalibris?"

"If you kill him, I'll owe you."

"Properly prepared demons can survive disintegration. Damned souls can't. They're unmade. Everyone he burned is gone for good. Fighting beside him-."

"Will be unnecessary as he sided with Asmodel. And I'm sure that if he wins here, Purgatory will be his next stop."

He looks left again, and I'm reminded that virtually all of these people would have at least broadly accepted the monotheistic code of ethics. In whatever form those existed in their society. Whatever they tell themselves in order to get by, the notion that they went to Hell because they were bad, and that the angels are good, is probably stronger than Mammon or I would like to admit.

"Total non-interference?"

"They give up all claims to Hell. Remiel and Duma get recalled from wherever they ended up. You still have to take Hell to make it yours, and you still have to compete for influence on Earth-."

"Capitalism."

I can hear his eagerness. As a demon lord he knows a person's motives as well as I do, and if he doesn't have to worry about an invasion then his relative weakness in direct combat is no longer a concern.

"Just so."

"Best fly up and have them open the gates, then. I need to greet my new friends."

 

[Mr Zoat]

26th December
And I hope it ends soon

Mammon's army begins to break camp at once, weapons and defence equipment being stowed and loaded in.. to..?

Shimmering portals grant passage to relatively conventional looking armoured trucks, which drive up to infantry positions in what is clearly a preplanned fashion. I can hear the engines growling. No exhausts. Magic powered?

"Where did you get those troop carriers?"

"A little something from Mr Simpson. They draw mana from their environment. It's only really practical in high-energy environments, but in Hell it has the wonderful side effect of purifying the area of the broken down remains of sinners of ages past. It should prevent any more fingerwheat incidents."

We both look around as the great gates guarding the entrance to the lands of Heaven open.

"Excellent."

There's a puff of flame as he vanishes, then appears in front of the opening. Right, he's perfectly capable of dealing with King Raphael. I twist in the air and face Ragnar and Onik.

"Gentlemen, I don't specifically know what I'm capable of like this. If you notice anything out of the ordinary, let me know."

Ragnar draws his sword. "These minor Source-gods. Can they die?"

"Physical destruction doesn't guarantee stopping them, but they can be weakened to the point where they can't restore themselves."

He nods nonchalantly. "I can work with that."

"They are not gods, but functionaries who serve-" I wheel in the air and head for the top of the wall once more, my Lanterns falling in behind me. "-to tend the souls of those dead humans who put themselves in their care."

"They don't seem to be tending Illustres Paul."

"As an enlightened being I doubt that he requires their care."

"He certainly doesn't."

The fight around the gate is stalling as the demons are rendered unable to advance, instead falling back to the wall's fortifications and hunkering down. Something.. made of.. weird jagged shapes… Thick lines of colour in individually abstract designs come together into the distorted outline of a man as Dr Balewa tries to find something Mr Excalibris can't shut down. John in full Doctor Fate mode is helping, Mr Excalibris's golden fires flickering and guttering as golden shields impose conventional order in place of God's design.

Temporarily, at least.

Kal-El slams into the ground as he takes a song from… I'm assuming that the hulking angel in the silver armour is King Asmodel. Guy appears to be working out his theological uncertainties with a green hockey stick. Probably an uncomfortably personal story there.

Hm. While not a certain victory, the breakout at least appears to be contained. Harm's party on the other hand are nearly at their destination. No sign of Neron himself, which is a little worrying. This is a PR exercise for him. He's trying to establish himself as the rightful ruler of Hell in the Old School model. A demon king who kicks arses and erases names. Everything I know about demon psychology tells me that he should be somewhere close by. If only to keep an eye on his ally.

Agh, can't worry about that. If Dr Balewa can't deal with him then I certainly can't. Not like this, not unprepared. But Harm…

"With me."

I point myself at his destination and fly, my need to resolve this situation in an at least somewhat favourable way causing me to accelerate across the Silver City's hinterlands at a breakneck -yes, I know I don't have a neck, it's just a phrase- speed.

BaBUM.

I feel Ragnar and Onik fall behind -the latter more than the former- so I-. Feels like I could feed power into their rings, but let's hold off on doing that. Instead I reach back and drag them with me.

"Yehahahaha!"

Ragnar grins, orange shields glowing around him as the distance between us and the abominations drops to nothing extremely quickly. Onik holds his arms in.. what I'm assuming is some sort of martial arts pose, shimmering orange spikes extending from both of his hands. I'm not sure what his preferred style is, but his people have spent a very long time idolising the Green Lantern Corps so I'm going to assume that he knows at least roughly what he's doing.

Harm glances back and actually looks.. slightly annoyed.

"What is It?"

"Mister Hayes
I think we're going to have to part ways."

Annoyance turns to curiosity. "It has ascended." One of the abominations -a sort of winged teddy bear-stick insect thing- grunts something at him, then flinches back as it receives his full attention. "Go!"

His escort continue flying at their best possible speed, while the man himself slows and breathes a vast plume of hellfire directly into our path! I don't want to be hit and the space before me bends, fires flaring out to all sides. Harm abandons that approach at once and blurs towards us. Ragnar gets knocked back, his shields cracking as Harm puts his speed and strength to good use.

Power. Hm. He certainly has desires, messed up as they are. Let's see if I can slow him down a little.

Harm appears, blinking heavily as he wallows in the air. Ragnar immediately goes on the attack, his buzz blade howling as it slices into Harm's left cheek. Harm recovers enough to bat it away, only for Onik to fire… Tendrils of orange light, bound together into beams. I don't know exactly what they're doing but Harm is knocked back, blisters appearing all over his skin. He falls back, shrugs, then-.

A puff of hellfire and he vanishes.

Some sort of recall spell? Fine. I turn away and fly at full speed for the abominations. The rearmost one is a collection of mouths connected to a central blob by strands of flesh far too narrow to serve that purpose on a normal organic being. Half of them rotate my way, beams of black and purple energy flying from some while others spit something gelatinous. I flow around them, reaching out for its desir-. Okay, no, not going to work. I don't know what they think with, but being outside of creation appears to mean that they're sufficiently outside of the orange light to ensure that I can't use my exotic abilities on them.

BaBUM.

Orange bolts fly past as my escorts take their shots.

"Yurgaghereek!"

The.. thing shakes and tries to evade, but I'm not sure how injured it is getting. We're coming up on the Silver City now, and while I don't know what their actual task here is that's reason enough for me to want them stopped. I desire and they slow, an invisible force pulling them back towards me. The more powerful fliers try to fight against it, but to little avail.

Let's see what the chaotic waters of the pre-creation universe taste like.

I twist my head sideways as the mouth swarm thing gets closer and lunge, mouth wide and fangs bared! I envelop it, left fang piercing the central mass of its body while the right goes through one of its mouths.

And then swallow.

BaBUM.

Doesn't taste of much, actually. But I think a little pre-creation magic could help if I'm going to be fighting angels.

Digest.

 

[Mr Zoat]

26th December
I'm sleeping in tomorrow

I feel my skin shift, scales hardening as my construct body adapts to having something outside Creation made a part of it. I wonder if not being from this universe myself helps with that? Or any residual energy I soaked up during my first visit to Masak Mavdil? No idea, and I doubt that it will help with the rest of these things anyway.

I wheel around, head snaking out to chomp on a black crystal gargoyle-looking thing. It fractures as my fangs bite into it, venom precipitating through its flaws for a few seconds before it too heads down my gullet. I should feel weirder about this, but I was planning on killing them anyway and at least this way there's a small chance it will stick.

And if I'm going to have to fight angels without my usual paraphernalia-.

Agh! A multi-headed lamprey thing has latched itself onto my side, chewing at my construct flesh! Onik slashes at it, but while its gel-like flesh parts easily under his assault it swiftly oozes back together. Monk he might be, but he hasn't been tutored in the more esoteric applications of the orange light yet. I bend, momentarily catching sight of Ragnar enthusiastically using his buzz blade on a seahorse/dragon/bat abomination and smacking another which had been coming up behind him towards the ground using my tail. An eye-tendril on the lamprey-leech spots me coming and I feel it shift its grip as it tries to burrow under my 'skin'. Instinctual, then: it should be obvious that I'm not an organic creature to any thinking being. All it's doing is getting closer to the bit of me that can digest it.

And the parts it's already bitten off haven't stopped being a part of me.

I twist back on myself and bite, my mouth filling with black slime. It tries to transform into vapour to escape but I breathe it down, the orange light already inside it answering to my desires and holding it in place.

BaBUM.

And digest.

"These things…"

Ragnar has pretty much cut his target in half, but both halves are clearly still active. The upper portion still has its wings and so can fly, while the lower half has… Parasitised on another abomination, granting it extra stabbing limbs at the cost of aerial mobility.

"Die…"

Ragnar goes after the upper portion, slicing off wings and head before the reformed creature can get a grip on what has happened to it. I'm not sure that the abomination is dead, but it isn't moving coherently enough-.

"Hard!"

A fat beam of orange light blasts from his eyes, widening to encompass the entire upper portion and reduce it to dust. Which still might not kill the blasted thing, but it will do for now.

A handful of abominations try to make a break for the Silver City, apparently passing over whatever line the wards consider to be an invasion. Being abominations, they pass through unhindered. Golden fire from a dozen towers with good lines of sight rains down the moment they do, to no effect. The sonic attacks which follow a moment later do some damage, helped by the fact that the abominations are far more interested in hiding from me than pursuing whatever their objective was supposed to be.

The rest of the flock are fending off Onik or doing their best to head back the way they came. I… Seem to remember reading that intelligent abominations are even more unusual than biddable ones. If they're fleeing… They can go. Defending the human souls here is far more important than helping the angels.

"Ragnar, hunt down the ones hiding-"

There's a flash as a series of small but intense explosions envelop an abomination made of blue eyes and pink cables. I take a moment to try and spot the origin, and get a friendly wave from Mr Queen.

"-in the City."

He turns away from the city, fires another eye blast at the lower part of his first target, then lifts his sword and charges after a smoky shadow which is burning everything it touches.

Then I pass through the barrier and the angels start singing at me.

The first hit surprises me so much that I don't block it; my construct-flesh ripples and I feel twinges of… Cramp, really. Okay, since they're.. misinformed rather than malevolent I'd.. probably feel a bit bad if I ate them. Instead I exert myself, lances of sonic energy bending away from me and expending themselves against the structure of the City buildings around me. Next I swoop down on an insect monkey that is using some sort of green.. magic discharge to try and eat a hole through a wall. It tracks me with eyes in the back of its head and ducks, arms changing sides as it points the green stuff my way. But instead of an attack, it forms a barrier.

"Are you intelligent?"

"Yes-yes-yes."

I shift my position so that it has a clear run out of the City.

"Flee back to Hell and I will not follow you. You are not worth my time."

"Kurrrk-kurrrk-kurrrk."

It… Chokes..? Uncertainly for a moment, then creeps in that direction as rapidly as it can while still watching me like a hawk. A few paces later an angel takes a shot at it and it abandons caution and flees instead.

Ragnar floats up beside me, eyes glowing. "Shall I..?"

"No, no, I've paroled him. Are the rest destroyed?"

He nods. "One is unmade by my hand, Lantern Onik crippled two and a fourth was slain by members of your world's Justice League."

"Crippled?"

He shrugs. "Studying fallen-."

"Not during a battle where they could be liberated and healed." I reach out through the orange light for his ring. "Onik, kill them and then report to me."

"Yes-" Fiss "-Great Master."

"Ragnar, any sign of anyone else?"

He clenches his right fist, emphasising his ring. "My scans aren't-."

He blinks in surprise as someone -ah, Mister Queen- lands on my midsection.

"Hey, Orange. Like the new look. It's very… Snake. In a good way."

"It's better than death." I turn the front portion of my body around so that I'm looking at him. "Something I can do for you, sir?"

"I don't really know demons, but green fire's bad, right?"

"It's Neron's favourite form of mundane attack, w-?"

"'Cause I saw some green fire in that tower over there-" He points. "-a minute ago. I'd go up myself, but I can't get a rope line into these walls and it's a lot of stairs-."

"RagnarOnikwithme."

I stick out my tongue, lasso Mr Queen with it and then head for the tower he indicated at speed. Neron being anywhere is incredibly bad news, but I was sort of hoping that the three remaining kings could deal with him. But if he's here while they're out there… It's not as if I know what he's been planning-.

The wall near the opening we're heading for explodes outward, green fire burning through whatever magic usually binds the place together.

And in the middle of the smoke and dust I see-.

Asmodel?

 

[Mr Zoat]

26th December
Seriously considering letting him have the place

"1:1 Let there be light."

Owowowowow!

I back off, wincing at the sudden illumination. Wait, light shouldn't hurt, I'm made of light, what's going on? Is it.. what Mr Excalibris did to-.

"1:2 It may have been wiser for you not to eat those abominations, beast."

Mr Queen looses a short volley, and Asmodel responds by folding his arms across his chest and ignoring the explosions completely. A beam of orange light from Ragnar and a rapid series of energy pulses from Onik are countered by a song that sounds like it would be rattling my-

"Gahgh!"

-bones if I had any, and Mr Queen has dropped his bow onto the balcony beneath us. Since he's clearly in pain where he is I extend my tongue and toss him over to it to get him out of the cone of fire. He lands.. a little awkwardly, but as well as could be expected under the circumstances, and recovers his bow before taking cover.

"Dox, I've located Asmodel. Please relay that to the League."

…

Oh marvellous.

"1:3 Useless thing. No matter how much you mutilate yourselves, however you ride roughshod over your betters' plan for you, you never measure up to us."

"Is that it? Is that all this has been about?"

"1:4 It's about us no longer being chained to you wretches! It's about order in the universe, a divine order-!"

"Whatever happened to loving your fellow man as you love yourself?"

Mr Queen unwisely draws attention to himself, but I doubt very much that Asmodel has read the Evil Overlord list and he appears to feel chatty…

"1:5 I was always against that. One must be deserving of grace by living in accordance with its dictates. Anything else is undeserved charity."

"Not a fan of turning the other cheek?"

"1:6 Yeshua's nonsense. If you let a foe keep hitting you then the foe will keep hitting you. The correct response for the righteous is to strike down the unrighteous with full force, not let them carry on their evil work! Creating Yeshua was a grave mistake, and his drivel has bound our hands ever since. What does it matter if humans are enough like us to tap into the Source as well? Their connection has always been inferior. What of value could we possibly learn from another nephilim?"

"If you have to ask, it probably didn't work."

"Is that really what this is about? Bringing back the most violent forms of monotheism?"

"1:7 Violence is a tool of rulership. Once a kingdom is properly pacified it is required only against external enemies."

Ah, the dual moral standard. Interesting but.. unsurprising to hear it from an angel.

"And working with Neron? Killing me? What exactly was that about?"

"1:8 Neron is the perfect ruler for Hell. He has no virtues, forces his lessers into absolute obedience and tortures the damned until they decay as was intended. Satanus would make Hell into some parody of Heaven, a paradise for the undeserving."

"And me?"

"1:9 You do not belong in this universe."

"And Boss Smiley?"

He squints. "1:10 Who in the Celestial Order is-?"

He blinks, appearing to realise that he's been chatting with his enemies.

"1:11 As sole sovereign of the Silver City, I pay evil unto evil."

"I'm sure you do, but what-.

The ground shakes. And the Silver City isn't on the ground. What-?

"Great master?"

I look to where Onik is pointing as…

Ooooooooh dear.

Neron towers over the battlefield, apparently chuckling as League members and angels flail impotently at him. He must be about five hundred metres tall, and the swath of green fire leaping from his hands to incinerate a flight of angels suggests that his raw power has increased as well.

"Are you insane? If you give him more power, he'll-."

"1:12 He cannot maintain the power without me. The moment he has crushed my bleeding-hearted fellow kings, his enhancement will end. And he knows it."

Okay. Can't get in here. If I get back there-

I begin to pull my body around.

-I might-.

"1:13 And there is light."

OWFUCKOWFUCKFUCKFUCKOW!

Another barrier, great. Can't go forwards, can't go back.

"Ragnar, Onik, go and help the League."

They look at me blankly. They can't hear me. Ah… I pointedly jab the tip of my tail at each of them in turn and then again towards Neron. Ragnar beats his left fist against his chest in salute, then they're both flying back towards the fig-.

"1:14 Why are you here?"

I turn down as… Zauriel walks towards King Asmodel. The meat of his wings appears to have healed, though the feathers have only barely started regrowing. No burn scars either. Purple healing ray would be my guess. I try reaching out for his desires -or those of Asmodel- and get nothing at all. I try biting the barowowowow!

"I ask you to turn from this path, repent and seek absolution."

"1:15 I should have persuaded King Seraphiel to let you go and fornicate with your mortal charge. I will commend you for your loyalty to the Divine Plan. I only wish that your understanding of it were not so lamentably convoluted."

"Forgive me for contradicting you, King Asmodel, but my understanding is simplicity itself. We exist to protect, to guide-."

"1:16 I do not explain myself to fallen angels. You may repent those sins you have committed against me, then live out your mortal span on Earth. Refuse, and I will slay you here, and with your banishment still in effect you will burn eternally in hellfire."

"You do not have the authority to judge me."

"1:17 I have the authority of the Divine Plan. You have nothing."

"Much as it saddens me that you refer to the Almighty in that heretical fashion, it saddens me further that I must correct you."

"1:18 Your theurgical abilities left you when you were cast down."

"I have eaten the Fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. And we both know that mortals -such as I am now- are perfectly capable of using theurgy."

Asmodel shrieks in rage, and charges his opponent!

 

[Mr Zoat]

26th December
I owe goldfish an apology

There's a faint shimmer of gold across Zauriel's skin as whatever Asmodel just tried to do to him fails. Asmodel doesn't seem perturbed by that, and it's not too hard to see why. He's about three times Zauriel's size, and most of that extra mass is muscle. Ah, okay, not a lot of detail in diabolic texts on the precise abilities of mortal theurgists, but I'm sure that Zauriel-.

Zauriel sidesteps around Asmodel's first punch, misjudges the distance and gets clipped on the shoulder. Even a hit like that has enough force behind it to send him to the ground. He lands on his side with a thud, and is only just beginning to push himself up as Asmodel's right foot hits him in the ribs with enough force to lift him off the ground and send him into the far wall!

I hear a crunch…

"Ah, Zauriel? Much as I admire your…" Let's call it… "Effort, I'd feel marginally bad if you died attempting the impossible. Seeing as you seemed like a good man."

"Then I will die-" He tries pushing himself up, managing it on his second attempt. "-as I lived."

"Mindlessly following orders? Zauriel, this isn't helping-"

"With full faith in the Almighty, craving His forgiveness for my failures and-" He stumbles slightly as Asmodel approaches. "-yearning to serve Him with all that I-."

Asmodel punches him in the head, smacking his head back against the wall behind him. Zauriel's eyes lose focus for a moment as Asmodel grasps his head with both hands and squeezes-.

Zauriel's head deforms with a really quite unpleasant sound, then Asmodel drops his body to the floor.

Then kicks it.

"2:1 My actions are above the reproach of beings such as you."

"Is Zauriel dead?"

I tear my eyes from the remains of the dead idiot and look at Mr Queen. "I'm not an expert on angel physiology, but… Yeah, that looks like a fatal skull frac-. Ah, crushing."

"Okay, plan… Ah, what are we on now? E?" He draws a flare arrow and looses, sending it high into the air in the general direction of the melee. It won't reach from here, but people might be able to see it. You know, if Zauriel had a plan that involved his death then I'll be a little impressed. Most of my death-related plans are contingencies for reversing.. it.

Asmodel gives Zauriel's corpse another kick as I get it. I mean, where's he going to go, Norway? So Zauriel's here… Somewhere. Not… Really clear on how that helps us.

"Is 'Plan E' something Asmodel can stop if he hears us talking about it? Because I'm a bit out of ideas right n-."

"Kinda. You know how you said that Diana isn't human?"

"Yes?"

"And how the Spear of Destiny works with magic to send it to every human soul?"

I.. can't blink. "Alright… So..?"

"So what happ-."

He shudders, his grip on his bow loosening. Asmodel looks around in shock, staring through the wall. I feel…

I feel nothing. … Nothing. … Still nothing.

"Did something happen?"

Mr Queen drops to his knees, staring into space. "Oh God, oh God."

"If he's going to hear you anywhere, this is the place. But you're not telling me an-" The light bubbles holding me in place seem to dull, but they're still there. "-ything."

Okay, so Diana used the Spear on something. Nice to see her looking into her metaphysical development, but I'm not seeing how a big burst of truth… I mean, assuming that she ends up a Truth Goddess here. And… I didn't feel it. Because whatever the Spear is, I'm not what it was created to affect. Spear Neron? No… Neron's not noted as being particularly deceitful. I mean, yes, misleading demon contracts, but it's not really his focus. The.. damned Mammon is leading would have been affected…

Who else-?

Gold light flickers in the room around Asmodel, and Zauriel strides forth. And… Somehow dying got him his wings back. I got turning into a snake, and he gets his wings back. Well… Good for-.

And then that woman from the virtualisation vessels steps out at another point. And then… Some other people I don't recognise but who I guess are misdirected human theurgists.

Oh heck, that's Pope Pius XIII. And he does not look happy. Probably because they made him leave his mace back on Earth.

Asmodel looks around the circle, apparently unconcerned. "2:2 Do not expect me to be impressed. Each and every one of you is a failure, unable to grasp the full majesty of the Divine for more than a few fleeting moments. I can tear you into mere motes of mana without difficulty."

"No." Zauriel shakes his head sadly. "You cannot."

Hands come together at chests, heads bow, and Asmodel shimmers in golden light. He whistles, then shudders as the golden light intensifies in response.

"King Asmodel. You have violated the responsibilities of your office, abandoned your duties as an angel and wilfully turned your face from Almighty God."

"2:3 You do not have the authority to cast me down!"

"No. I do not." He looks around the circle. "We are but servants of a higher power. And you, sadly, have forgotten that."

"Your words mean noth-." Asmodel's eyes widen as the bubble surrounding me finally fails. "No no!"

"King Asmodel has fallen."

"Noooooaaaaaaagh!"

A circle of golden light forms around him and… He's gone.

Right, not needed here! I shoot up into the sky and then head full speed.. for…

An army is firing on Neron. He's glowing with green fire and I genuinely can't tell how much of it is being generated by him and how much is from the ectoplasma. Golden fire from the loyalist angels takes him in the back of the head as he begins to shrink without Asmodel's aid.

Where's Mr Excalibr-.

Diana has him pinned to the field with the Spear of Destiny through his chest. Maybe… All of his theurgical permissions..? Don't know.

"Aaaaaaaaagh!"

Neron screams as his flesh burns off, and for a moment we see a face more monstrous than the perfect human face he normally affects. Then that burns off too, mana and meat flash-frying as the combined assault overpowers his resistances.

I pull up short as he finally collapses to the ground, and Mammon strides past his bodyguard to ram a spear through his head.

Uh oh.

A blood-splattered King Raphael flies down as Mammon poses.

"A good job well done, I think."

"4:1 Who in God's name are you?"

 

[Mr Zoat]

26th December
I'd like to go home now, please

As Mammon talks jovially to the three kings-. Well, two kings. King Aariel of the Lion Host was too badly injured to contribute much, and his retinue are still singing him back into reasonable health. Thanks to Diana his forces were in place to stop the break out overrunning the entirety of the Silver City's hinterlands, but he got rather a lot of green fire thrown at him when Neron stopped pretending to be Asmodel.

Someone else who's going to think twice before trying to talk his opponents down in future.

Diana and Dr Balewa are standing over Mr Excalibris's corpse. Diana looks… Sober. I'm not exactly feeling triumphant myself, but she could stand to look a little less unhappy about the death of the man who killed me.

"Is it safe to take it out?"

Dr Balewa closes his eyes for a moment. "I believe so. With the theurgists gone and Asmodel dead, his theurgical powers would return to their normal levels." He looks towards the kings, his eyes briefly alighting on me along the way. "Whether he returns to this place or goes to Hell, that is not for me to decide."

Diana takes hold of the Spear and pulls it free of his chest. His silver blood has dried, the cloth of his robes sticking to the haft for a moment before losing its grip. She takes a moment to examine the Spear. It appears undamaged, and the dried blood is flaking off on its own.

"So… We done?"

Dr Balewa regards me impassively for a moment, then turns his head to take in the battlefield. Damned souls traverse the area, occasionally signalling a medic or a sorcerer. Apparently they've got ideas on reconstituting 'dead' damned, as long as they're mostly intact. On other occasions there's an awkward moment as they find an injured angel and have to signal an extremely unsettled angel to tend them.

"The invasion has either failed, or succeeded beyond Mammon's wildest hopes."

"I'd laugh, but I don't think I can do that any more."

"Oh? Does he not benefit most from this outcome?"

I-. I can't narrow my eyes. "And what if he does?"

"It would not be beyond the abilities of a demon lord of his age and power to manipulate events in order to secure this outcome."

"And it could have been a sentient sock. I don't want to get obsessive about puppet mastering, particularly when I don't have a particular problem with the outcome."

"I have known Mammon a little longer than you have."

"Then feel free to keep an eye on him. It's not as if we're friends; he was just the least bad candidate available."

Diana's looking past me-.

"A ringing endorsement if ever I heard one!"

Mammon's smiling as he pats me on the midsection, and I undulate out of the way in order to keep him in full view.

"Yes, despite me not being exactly what they thought I was, the Kings of Heaven have -in their wisdom- decided to follow through on their pact with me. I will be returning to Hell shortly to… Cement my control."

Diana nods. "I hope that you use the opportunity to tend to those souls in your care more kindly than your predecessors did."

He leans towards her, his belly-. Ugh. "Let me tell you a little secret, in light of your recent personal revelation." He mugs magnificently as he looks left and right, pretending to check for anyone who might overhear. "Demons? Don't actually like other demons very much. My power rests upon the backs of the damned-." He straightens up, looking thoughtful. "Perhaps we should use a new word for them?" He shakes his head, wattle wobbling grotesquely. "Regardless, my power relies on them, their strength and loyalty. I'm no nicer now than I was a millennium ago. It's… The situation that's changed." He looks up at me. "Now, about your obligation to me-."

"What obligation to you? Zauriel killed Asmodel. Your deal for fighting Neron was that the angels recognise you as king. That's happened."

"5:1 Mammon, your actions have earned you a degree of forbearance." Raphael doesn't exactly look at ease with the situation, but perhaps he's at least happy that the demons and damned will soon be leaving. "But do not test us."

Mammon smiles innocently. "Heaven forbid."

"5:2 Orange Lantern. Asmodel's deceit and Karrien's wrath have caused both you and the Earth a great harm. As we continue our Holy work, these harms are things for which we must make amends. We would appreciate your input on what form our restitution should take."

I bite down my initial impulse to tell them to keep their grubby hands off Earth forever, without needing the low-key glare Diana sends my way.

"What happened to my weapons after I died?"

"I think Karrien and the God of Escapology looted your corpse." Mammon shrugs, and I think he's noticed just how repulsive I find his body. "With the pressing need to advance on Heaven, I haven't checked your mortal remains."

"Karrien was carrying the Sword of the Fallen." Blank looks. "The short sword Chantinelle used to kill the First? The blade is split in two?"

King Seraphiel nods. "1:1 A foul thing. I destroyed it when Karrien assaulted me."

Darn. No offence to Seraphiel… Not that I wanted him incarnated as a mortal-.

No, no, I did.

"Right. Can you resurrect the people who were killed?"

"5:3 Your nature makes it a little problematic, but I believe that we will-."

"Not just me. Mister Excalibris had a lot more people than just me killed."

He nods solemnly. "5:4 We will offer resurrection to all of those killed before their time who have entered our care."

"No. Everyone. Wherever they went. If you want to make up for that, you go to wherever they are-"

Mammon raises his right hand. "Except Hell."

"-or act through proxies or do whatever you need to do, and you fix this. And I want you to pay attention, because while you might not have thought killing them was necessary yourselves, you are part of the control mechanism for the system that allowed this to happen. Actually… That 'Mind of God' thing… Was that Asmodel?"

Raphael bows his head slightly. "5:5 We believe so."

"Not a giant man with a smiley for a head?"

"5:6 It… Why would you think that?"

Never mind, then. Boss Smiley seems a bit of an abstract thing for Asmodel to have invented, but..? Don't know. Could have pulled it from.. my mind… Fine.

"What are you going to do to prevent anyone else doing what Asmodel did?"

"1:2 We will of course improve our security-."

"No, that just makes them work harder. Angels need the capacity to disobey evil orders. Zauriel knew his instructions were nonsense all along. Heck, even Gabriel was getting there. You-."

The kings look at each other, and I faintly hear a complex series of rapid musical exchanges. Raphael nods.

"5:7 We have a solution."

"Alright."

"5:8 We believe that you wish for us to feed every angel upon the Fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Quite aside from the work we must perform in repairs and penance, we do not know what the result of such a thing would be."

And… Yeah. I sort of assumed that they would, or… There might be some other way to do it.

"5:9 We will restore Zauriel to life, and send him to live and work amongst you. While he does this, we will study both the changes to his behaviour and his soul, that we may better assess the risks and rewards. If he remains a good man, we will offer this to others. Is this satisfactory?"

"Yes. Now, what do I do about getting my body back?"

A short time later

I wake up to the scent of blood and ash. Body… Robotic, and Donna still has my rings. Okay, I-.

I look up at the Masak Mavdil as it towers over the…

"YOU FUCKING FUCKS!"

 

[Mr Zoat]

8th July 2010
08:06 GMT -5

My future team mates appear to be Kid Flash -the Wallace West version-, Superboy, a tough looking black youth with bleached hair and a short, black haired boy. Probably a Robin, given that Batman's here. Yep, all teenagers.



They're all teenagers, for goodness sake.

I hold back for a moment. "Sir, you.. do know I'm twenty nine, right?" Wonder Woman looks at me in surprise. "If this is the training class then fine, but if there's been some sort of misunderstanding…"

She nods. "I believe that there has."

10th July
09:06 GMT -7

Diana and I float over the North Pacific Ocean, waiting for my new tutor.

"And -I'm just checking- Lantern Stewart wasn't an option?"

"Lantern Stewart is not on Earth at the moment. The Guardians can call Green Lanterns away to any part of the galaxy at short notice."

And Gardner… I'm not sure which version of Guy Gardner I'm dealing with here. I checked his records, and he originally worked as a prison behavioural therapist before moving to a school for mentally disabled children. So he's reasonably intelligent and capable of dealing with difficult people. On the other hand, Lantern Gardner usually isn't the easiest person to get along with himself…

"And having him 'teach' me in the sense of sitting there while Alan borrows his personal lantern isn't an option either?"

"As far as I am aware, he is not allowed to let anyone who is not a member of the Green Lantern Corps use his lantern."

I wonder why they.. didn't recruit Alan? Assuming that the comic version holds true, Abin Sur came down right next to Harold Jordan so recruiting him made sense. But where was the rush in recruiting Stewart or Gardner? Alan having used a green ring for so long should have made him look like a far more viable recruit than a wilful architect or a bullish school teacher.

I see a glow over the coastline as Lantern Jordan heads this way. So now I get to be taught by the man who was himself taught by Sinestro but has no teaching experience himself. No, he.. taught Arisia, didn't he?

Just as long as we're clear this isn't going to go the same way.

"Has Lantern Jordan taught other Lanterns before?"

"Not to my knowledge. You will be his first student."

"May future generations of Green Lanterns remember my valiant sacrifice."

She smiles warmly as Lantern Jordan approaches. "It is perfectly normal to feel apprehensive about the start of your training, but I have every confidence in Green Lantern's abilities."

"Honestly, I'm more worried about the orange light driving me insane than I am Lantern Jordan's-."

"Eyes front, recruit!"

Oh, this is how he intends to do it, is it? I suppose that it won't hurt to humour him. I come to attention, hands balled into fists with thumbs pointing down where the seams of my trousers would be.

"Good morning, sir."

"It's eight o'clock, recruit. In Officer Training that was practically mid day."

"If it makes you feel any better sir, I'm still on UK time so it's actually four in the afternoon." I smile-

-and he gives me a look of disdain. "You're here to learn, not to sass me. Remember that."

I bow my head. "I apologise, sir. Won't happen again."

"Right." He floats a little to the side and looks at Wonder Woman. "Okay, we're going to be working at this all day. You may as well take off. I'll send him through the zeta tube when we're done."

She nods. "Very well. I will leave him in your capable hands." She pats me on the left shoulder with her right hand, then accelerates towards the coast.

Leaving me with Lantern Jordan. He watches her leave for a moment, then turns back to me. "Okay, what can you do?"

"Flying, environmental shield, remote accessing computers and basic constructs."

"Show me."

Construct armour, please.

Compliance.

Glowing orange armour forms around me, thin plates of orange light floating in the air about an inch away from my body.

"How tough is it?"

"It let me slam face first into a forest without injury."

"And against actual weapons?"

I shake my head. "I haven't tested it."

"Then that's-" He pulls back his right fist. "-where we're gunna start." His ring glows for a moment, then he swings his arm forward strengthen strengthen strengthen!

An additional orange plate appears between Lantern Jordan and myself, and a moment later it fractures as a bolt of emerald energy strikes it directly in the centre.

"Your armor, I said."

"Looks like armour to me, s-."

"No-" The green glow intensifies. "-backchat!"

The plate fractures to orange dust and my armour booof! I go hurtling backwards, spinning as I go! Stabilise, stabilise, don't throw up! Armour construct still… Well, there's a dent it in, but it's still in one piece. Not terrible. Fix it.

"That wasn't very strong. You need to focus your wi-." He hesitates for a moment and I add a tower shield to my construct armour. "Your avarice better."

"Sir, I-. That isn't something I don't already know. But you hitting me doesn't really motivate me."

"Getting hurt doesn't motivate you?"

"I'm not hurt. My physical integrity isn't really threatened and since you've been a Lantern for a decade my pride isn't either."

"What, you want to take a shot at me?" His environmental shield flares and expands. "Go right ahead. You can see how far you've got to go."

"Sir, I don't want to hurt you."

"I wouldn't worry about that."

"No sir, I mean… I have no desire to hurt you. If I don't desire something, some outcome, then I can't do it."

His glow dies down a little as he approaches. "So what you're saying is: if I want to make you defend yourself I have to make you believe that you're genuinely in danger, and if I want to make you attack me I have to make you genuinely want to hurt me."

"Basically, sir. Yes."

"Okay." He nods and what have I done!? "I can work with that."

10th July
18:43 GMT -5

"…zero six."

I wave my right hand at Superboy as I walk into the sparring ring. "Good evening. Have you had dinner yet?"

He glares at me sullenly. "No. M'gann wanted to wait 'til you got back. How'd your special training session with Green Lantern go?"

I sigh. "Not 'special', Superboy. Remedial."

He blinks, his face relaxing slightly. "What do you mean?"

"I've had this ring five days. Robin's been Robin for four years. Kid Flash has been Kid Flash for two years. M'gann has been a shapeshifting telepathic telekine since she was born and you've been being programmed to be Superboy since before you were born. I -on the other hand- am seven years older than Lantern Jordan was when he got his ring. I'm not getting privileged treatment, I'm trying to catch you up."

"Oh." He blinks again, his eyes avoiding my face. "Ah… How'd it go?"

"Alright? I don't know, I've never sparred with a power ring before?"

"Well…" He shrugs. "Who won?"

"Neither of us? Both? It was a learning exercise, not a contest."

Though someone found out that while an Orange Lantern can heal his many injuries easily, he can't heal the ones he creates when you finally succeed in making him want to hurt you, didn't they, Lantern Jordan?

Maybe he can get Ms Ferris to sign his cast.

 

[Mr Zoat]

Z-E-R-O

27th December
Fucking fucking fucking…

Stroke. Stroke. Stroke.

A little way to my right I spot a fisherwoman as she notices me and stops collecting her crab pots in favour of staring at me. Hers isn't the only boat around, even at this hour… Whatever hour it is, but I suppose that the irregular nature of my approach warranted a second look.

Stroke. Stroke.

Lucky that my muscles run off generator power…

A moment passes as I draw nearer to the shore, and she starts as she finally realises who I am. She calls out… Something in Themysciran Greek. The Amazons and I are both so used to me understanding each them perfectly thanks to the bullshit-magic of power ring translation that it probably hasn't occurred to anyone that I have no idea what anyone not speaking English is saying without it.

I lock my oars in place for a moment, wave, then return to my work.

Stroke. Stroke.

There was a time -and it feels like a long time ago now- when I was cycling back from my job at Gardners Books, and my chain fell off in an area with poor illumination. I couldn't see what I was doing well enough to fix it so I decided to walk home, pushing the bike along with me. An hour or so later, with my goal in sight, my mother got in her car and came looking for me. She offered to give me a lift back the last 300 metres or so but I opted to keep walking instead, preferring to finish the journey-

I pull my oars back inside the boat, stand and jump out into the shallow water. Once I've found my footing I turn and drag the boat up onto Themyscira's beach.

-myself.

I take a moment to look around. The women working on the shore are mostly still at their tasks. I'm pleased to see that it takes a little more than an Act of God's-Immediate-Subordinates to shake the women of Themyscira out of their routine. Or… As a Discordian, should I be displeased? Ah, I can be happy either way. A few look around to watch me -tasks permitting- but these are mostly the old school sort, who know better than to make casual enquiries where someone who has clearly caught the attention of powers greater than himself is concerned.

Right.

Trying as best I can to moderate the chafing effect of saltwater-soaked trousers made for a Greek man with waist far wider than my own, I stride towards the gates of the city proper. I should be safe now, but while being killed by violence probably-

I cast a cautious eye towards Mount Skybreak.

-isn't a significant risk any longer, I am starving to death. I made this body with functioning lungs but with only the same digestive system as Danni has. I can eat and turn the solid material into something useful for my robotic components, but I don't currently have any way to turn it into nutrition for my few remaining organic parts.

Ah, what the heck. I don't have adrenaline any more.

I hoik up the trousers by the waistband and run. Not quite as fast as I can in full power armour, but my robotic legs make me far more agile and the reduced weight gives me faster acceleration. The posture is… Ridiculous, but a nice thing about Themyscira's traditional isolationism is that there aren't any cameras around here.

The small group of guards at the gate start to form a huddle as I approach, the sergeant stepping forwards to hail me.

"Paúe!"

"Yes, that's me!" I lean back slightly, slowing as best I can on the stone paving slabs. "Please tell me that one of you speaks English?"

She narrows her eyes, taking in my dishevelled state and clearly not having the slightest idea who I am. That's rather the drawback of costumes, I suppose. I had thought that my tattoos might do, but I suppose that I wasn't in the habit of walking about naked.

She turns her head slightly away, keeping me in full view while saying something to one of her-.

One of the other guards blinks, her eyes widening in astonishment. "Phoinos lamptḗr?"

Okay, that… Sounded like 'lantern'. I smile politely and nod, while the sergeant frowns in disbelief. The one who recognised me nods emphatically, before saying… Something. The sergeant snorts in amusement before returning her full attention to me and gesturing to me with her right hand. At least her posture is a little more relaxed now. And she says… Something I don't understand, and points to the gate. I think I caught the word 'princess'… Maybe?

"I'm sorry, but I have no idea what you just said. Can I-" I take a few hopeful steps closer. "-go in?"

She says… Something else, but quietly. I think that she's spotted the communication problem as well. She steps out of the way, and makes a waving motion from me to the gate. A couple of her soldiers march ahead, but as I resume my run I swiftly bypass them. They shout… Something… I'm going to get my rings to replay this whole thing once I get them back. I hear them picking up the pace behind me, but they're far too slow to overtake me.

Okay, south-eastern portion of the city… Main boulevard there. Surprised faces look around in astonishment as I dash past. But where am I heading? Amusingly, Baroness von Gunther's laboratory is the closest point of interest. But… Eugh… Probably not anything there I could use. The inner city is my best bet, but… Iola and Tekla live relatively close to here and they both speak reasonable English. Would they be..? Home..?

Probably. Those Amazons who have taken the maternal plunge are rather getting babied themselves by their extended families. It's early morning, so… Yes, I'll take the chance.

I slow slightly and turn into a courtyard, briefly taking my right hand off my waistband to wave at a woman hanging her washing out. I get a decidedly appraising look before she waves back. I'd dance my pecs for her but this isn't really the time. Right, up the steps and knock on the doo-.

I hear loud and unhappy baby noises as I awkwardly stand and wait for whoever is inside to answer. They told me that Elpida is.. usually fairly even-tempered, but I've always associated babies with outbursts of random screeching and I'm mildly pleased to be being proven right. Even if the timing is a little inconvenient. Something in Greek gets shouted, probably the equivalent of 'come in' or 'it's open', but… I don't know that for certain.

I knock again, trying to indicate with the lightness of the force I employ that whoever is inside should feel free to prioritise the child. The disgruntled gurgles continue as heavy footsteps come closer, the door being jerked away as… A frustrated and tired looking Iola opens the door in her perizoma and.. nothing else, Elpida grumbling as she finally starts nursing from her fama's left breast.

I close my eyes. "I'm terribly sorry to disturb you -hello Elpida!- but I was wondering if I could borrow… Tekla for an hour? I need someone who can speak English."

"Pav-? Ah, Tekla is on duty. I thought that you were staying in the palace?"

"I was. Things… Happened, I ended up losing my equipment…"

"And your clothes."

"Yes. I got lent these by a guy called Alexios… I'll… Take them back when I… Get my own clothes back…"

She chuckles exhaustedly. "This is the life of a hero: running around in a another man's trousers."

"It's been a very trying couple of days."

I hear her move away from the door. "Come in. You can borrow one of my dresses. Or a piece of rope to tie those trousers up. And then Elpida and I can come with you. Perhaps the journey will stop her crying."

"Thank you."

"And open your eyes. I am sure that I have nothing which you have not seen before."

 

[Mr Zoat]

27th December
Early morning

Iola smiles as another woman insists on complimenting Elpida. She seems to take it in her stride, and I'm sure that I'd find it endearing if I.. had the slightest idea what they were saying to one another. I'm getting.. about as many odd looks as I thought I would, but I actually recognised the word 'Eris' at one point and that appeared to be adequate explanation.

I really need to talk to her about all of this. I don't think for a second that she masterminded anything, but I can see her throwing me at a complicated situation just to see what would happen. It's the wedding of Peleus and Thetis all over again: if people were behaving sensibly and rationally it wouldn't go anywhere, but since hardly anyone ever does… 'Shizzle be getting kray-kray'.

Or… Begotting..? I don't know, I'm far too white to use that slang.

Someone I.. don't recognise says something to me and then glances self-consciously at her friends. I just shake my head.

"I'm sorry." I raise my hands. "No rings. I've got no idea what you're saying."

She shakes her head and says something back, probably Themysciran Greek for 'what?'. Fortunately for me Iola fields the question, getting a nod and causing the crowd to back up slightly.

Iola leads the way… Nearly there. I can see the gates to the inner city a short-.

"Paul?" Donna drops out of the sky. "How did you-?"

"Rings?"

"Ah, well-." She lifts a small pouch with runes stitched into the material. "How did-?"

"Rings."

"No, you could be a demon or something."

"No, I'm pretty sure that the angels purged me before they resurrected me. Please, my brain is literally starving here."

She frowns. "What?"

"Donna!"

Still frowning, she passes the pouch to me. I open it up and yes! I grab Hinon's ring with my right hand and slide it over my left ring finger, a wave of orange passing over me as I do so.

Aaaaaand breathe easier. I have bones again! And a beating heart!

"Welcome back to the Orange Lantern Corps."

Larfleeze's ring… Or should I call it Krona's ring? Whatever, a set of Themyscira-appropriate robes replace my borrowed trousers as I put the other ring over my right ring finger.

"You are the Illustres."

I stare hungrily at my rings, flexing my fingers as I do so.

"So-?"

I lunge forward, enveloping Donna in an embrace. "Thank you."

"Okay?" She hugs me back, not quite as enthusiastically as I'm hugging her but it's nice anyway. "What happened?" I feel that I'm probably reaching her tolerance threshold and release her, stepping back slightly. "I thought you died. I just got back from Erebos looking for you."

"I died and went to Heaven." I shake my head. "I don't recommend it. The surviving Angel Kings resurrected me, but they resurrected me in my body. Which was in Hell."

"Wai-. What-? Why was your body in Hell?"

"Angels were trying to kill me, where else would I go for help? The leader of the angel assault force killed me. But that's all… Sorted, the people responsible dead and damned." And I will be checking that Mammon has Asmodel under control when he turns up. And Karrien Excalibris. "I'd like to take a short break before doing a full debrief, but if you want-."

"Oh! Sure, yeah. But… How did you get back?"

"Agony and Ecstasy were still there. Mammon's forces hadn't returned from Heaven yet, so as far as they knew we were still working together. I asked for a portal back to Earth. And they sent me to Skyros."

"Why did you want to go to Skyros?"

"I didn't, but I didn't feel like pushing my luck." I shake my head. "Skyros is where the First of the Fallen declared his vendetta against Creation. It's a demon holy site, inasmuch as they have those. I think they thought it was an honour or something."

But who knows? I really didn't feel like pushing it.

I turn to Iola. "Iola, thank you very much for escorting me. Elpida-" I lean down and give her a big smile. "-it's been lovely to see you again as well."

Iola smiles. "I am always happy to help you, Paul."

I straighten up, bringing my right fist up to my mouth. "Illustres to Blue Two Eight One Four. And… Other Lanterns too, I guess."

"Transmitting."

"I'm back, I'm alive, I'm on Themyscira and I've recovered my rings. Please let-."

"Paul?!"

"Hi Alan."

"Diana said the Angels brought you back to life, but when you didn't show up-."

"Sorry for the delay, but they resurrected me naked and without any equipment or money. I only just got somewhere from which I could contact you."

"Illustres."

"Clarissi Dox. I believe that I still have another day of leave remaining."

"Under the circumstances, I believe that I am willing to extend it."

"Thank you. I'll have my report ready for you before I return."

I hear gasps around me as-.

Oh.

Planetrise.

Ater Clementia moves over the… Not the horizon, I'm far too deep in the city to see that. But it's high enough in the sky that I can see it from where I am, along with Mother of Mercy's giant glowing sigil.

I wave, and the sigil glows as she retreats, the planet visibly decreasing in size in the sky.

Another crisis weathered.

"Orange Lantern Illustres signing off."

I lower my hands and breathe out.

Donna smiles. "Ready to enjoy what's left of Christmas?"

"No. Right now, I need a word with Lord Hades."

 

[Mr Zoat]

27th December
07:39 GMT +3

"You didn't.. have to come with me, you know." Donna glances my way as we fly over the orchard and head towards Lord Hades's palace. "Not that I'm.. trying to get rid of you or anything, but it is Christmas."

"World-ending catastrophes don't get put on hold because it's the holidays."

"Do Americans actually call it that?"

"What-? The.. holidays?"

"Yes. I had assumed that it was one of those anti-political correctness straw man things, but I've actually heard people doing it."

"It's.. just what I call it?"

"Okay, but-." I take a breath as we swoop downwards to the entrance, the undead on guard duty raising their right hands in greeting. "Donna, I… Struggle to pass up opportunities to mock America-."

She opens her mouth, hands covering her cheeks in mock astonishment. "You do? I'd never noticed that."

"It's just something about you-. Actually, did you have to sort out your citizenship stuff after you found out where you came from?"

"Did I actually, or, legally, should I?"

We land and walk inside the building.

"Both?"

"I still have a secret identity. Donna Troy was born in America, and explaining that I technically maybe wasn't would be a lot of work for no real reason. And everyone assumes that Troia's an Amazon anyway."

"Even after they hear you talk?"

Donna shrugs. "Diana speaks English without a Themysciran accent. Why shouldn't I?"

"Oh, I suppose… Ah, anyway, my point was going to be that there are other holidays and it wouldn't be the huge celebration it is if it wasn't the main annual Christian festival-."

"Didn't you used to be an atheist?"

"Yes, and that meant that I had to, for example, reject the seven day biblical week cycle. You would not believe how hard being theologically obliged to use a ten day week made things."

That gets a faint smile. "Right…"

"But calling it 'the holidays' is actually a-?"

"What are you doing here?"

Melinoë stares at us both from a short distance down the corridor, her hands on her hips.

"I died."

"The line is that way." She points down the corridor behind her, then turns back to me, frowning. "You don't feel dead."

"I got better. I'm here to make a formal complaint."

Her eyes narrow. "About not being dead?"

"About the whole process. I was assured in no uncertain terms that being a Hellenist meant that my soul would come here. It didn't."

"What?!"

"I know!"

She wheels and stalks down the corridor away from us. "This way."

Donna and I follow her at a jog, catching up with her just as she reaches the doors to Lord Hades's throne room. Which she proceeds to shove open, revealing the court within.

And the first thing I see is Ted Kord, blinking in confusion as Lord Hades finishes attaching him to Erebos.

"Huh? What?"

Lord Hades turns away from his newest resident and marches back to his throne before turning and seating himself. A functionary passes him a scroll and he has a brief glance at the opening passage.

"Theodore Stephen Kord."

"Yeah?" Ted turns to face him, then glances left and right in a frantic attempt to work out where he is. "Where am I?"

"You are in Erebos. I am Hades, King of the Dead." Lord Hades looks down at him, a sympathetic expression on his face. "Would you like to take a moment to order your thoughts? People often find it helpful."

"Ah..? Thanks?"

"Minos, would you be so good as to go over things with him? I believe that my daughter wishes to speak with me."

"Certainly, sire." An older looking but still vital man walks over from the advisor's area and beckons to Ted. "Now, are there any family you would like to speak to at this time?"

"Melinoë." Lord Hades raises his hands in greeting. "Pavlos! Donna! Approach! What business brings you to my court?"

We approach, and Ted does a double take as we make eye contact over Minos's shoulder. "Paul? What's going on?"

"Karrien Excalibris killed you. We're working on fixing it."

"Okay? Great? Ah…" He returns his attention to Minos. "I don't… Think so? Unless you're telling me otherwise?"

"Father, Pavlos died."

"Two in one day? That's a little unusual in this era. Do you mind waiting until we've finished with Mister Kord, or do the two of you want to throw dice for it?"

"I'm afraid that I've since been restored to true life, my lord. I won't be troubling you in your judicial capacity for a little while yet."

"You died, and yet left my realm?"

"Not precisely, my lord. I was resurrected without coming here."

"It must have been remarkably swift, then. Usually, a shade would come to us within a day or two."

"My lord, before this turns into one of those cross-purpose conversations which I know you find tiresome… I died, and my soul did not come here. It went somewhere else entirely."

Hades stands suddenly, his normally placid countenance filled with a sudden rage.

"What?"

 

[Mr Zoat]

27th December
07:44 GMT +3

"My lord, a little under three months ago I visited a site sacred to Earth's monotheistic religions and stole a fruit from it. When a representative of the site's owners confronted me about it, I admitted my guilt and offered to make recompense. Having seen what I had done with the fruit, the representative stated that he felt that my use of it was a good thing, but that he would need to consult his superiors before he could give me a firm decision."

I start pacing a short circuit in the middle of Lord Hades's throne room.

"Two days ago I received that decision. The earth was surrounded by a burning cage and I was sentenced to death. Along with anyone who aided me. The original representative was cast out and set on fire for daring to advance a position which was in line with his superior's general directives but turned out to be contrary to his superior's actual view on that particular matter."

"I healed him. I decided not to die, and endeavoured to fight the force sent after me. And… Though my allies wrought a great toll upon them, I was killed. Multiple sword strikes-" I create a construct image showing… My own death. I don't shudder, but it does make me feel distinctly uneasy. "-severing my arms, impaling me through the chest and setting me on fire. I wasn't aware of it, but according to witnesses my attacker also stabbed me through the head."

"I died. And I did not come here."

"Instead, I went to the Silver City, and was placed inside one of their… The illusion generating devices they use in an attempt to convince people of the righteousness of their god. I broke out, spoke to the locals, discovered that they'd all been deceived by one of their number and his allies and was eventually able to persuade them to resurrect me."

"My lord, I am… Not good at faith. I've been an atheist since I was old enough to realise that adults could be wrong about things. Even when I came to this world where gods clearly do exist, I didn't see that fact as.. relevant to me. It wasn't until I became a citizen of Themyscira that I… I began to think about what that meant for my life, the way I should.. live. And while I embraced Eris as my particular patron, I have paid homage to all of the major gods and.. several minor ones."

And what a waste of bovine bones and fat my sacrifice to Zeus turned out to be.

"My lord, if there is something I have done to offend you or the other gods-" I raise my right hand and wave it left and right. "-other than the obvious things I've done to offend Zeus and Apollo, then I apologise. Please, let me know what it is, that I may make amends. But if it isn't something that I've done, then…"

I stop, facing Lord Hades and looking him directly in the eyes.

"My god, why did you forsake me?"

"I did not. Though my brother has made representations to me concerning your eventual fate, I-" Oh dear. "-had a mind to judge you fairly. What was the nature of the being who slew you?"

"He was an angel. Significantly enhanced above the normal limits of their theurgical power by the magics of the souls of imprisoned theurgists."

"Where did you make your stand?"

"The province of Labyrinth in Hell, just outside Masak Mavdil."

"If you died in an afterlife other than this one, that might have resulted in you being trapped there. Certainly, it would have caused you some delay in arriving here. It should not have resulted in you going elsewhere. Whatever crimes you might have committed against them, it was for me to judge you and for them to make representations to me."

He steps down from his dais.

"When Donna came here looking for you, we all assumed that you had not in fact died. Now that I know what the reason for that was, I will be making extremely strong representations to the Silver City upon this matter."

I bow. "Thank you, my lord. After recent events I have far more faith in your judgement than in theirs."

He nods. "Understand that I will ask them about the fruit which you mentioned. It is my experience that people oft underreport their own culpability in such matters."

"Entirely reasonable. It was a magic fruit."

He nods again. "I will send word by Thana when I have their response."

"Thank you." I glance at Ted, who appears to have calmed down somewhat. "On a related matter, my friend Ted was killed during the angel's attack."

"Do you wish to witness his judgement, or make representations on his behalf?"

"Before I left the Silver City, I secured an agreement that the angels would resurrect anyone they killed. Clearly, if Ted is here then they will need to come here in order to discuss the matter with you."

"They have sworn to resurrect him?"

"Sworn? No, merely agreed."

"Still, that improves my negotiating position considerably. Good work. Hm." He looks thoughtful. "I assume that you would like to avoid going anywhere but Erebos next time you die?"

"In all honesty, I would accept here or the Orange Central Power Battery. This is the best afterlife I've seen, but I have a particular attachment to my Corps."

"Oh, I take no umbrage. I can well understand the desire to continue to oversee something you have created, even as a shade. Still, if you wish to ensure that you will come here, there is a spell I can perform to bind you to Erebos."

"As you do your dead?"

"It would not be quite the same. I am offering you no power. But upon your death it would bring you here, or notify me if it was disrupted. I am mindful that you were not able to come here, and I would seek to better fulfil my duties."

"I thank you for the offer, my lord. But… My spiritual setup is unique. I am… Hesitant to agree to this unless I could be completely sure that there would be no adverse effects, either on me, those around me or… You." He nods. "If I am not asking too much, could you please write a description of the spell you would use? While I do not believe that I know anyone who could cast it, there are Atlanteans who could understand how it works and judge the risk."

He thoughtfully strokes his beard with his right hand. "Yes. Yes, I would be interested to hear their thoughts, regardless of whether you avail yourself of my offer or not. However, I should see to my guest first. Mister Kord?"

"Yeah-? Ah, my lord?"

Lord Hades regards him for a moment, then bows his head with a quiet chuckle. "You weren't expecting to come here, were you?"

"Ah… No..? It's… Been a while since I went to church, and… I did host a hephaesteia… Tech expo thing. And I said prayers and… I mean, I've always liked technology." He blinks. "Huh."

"At least you went to the right place."

"It's just… I was kinda… Hoping to see my parents, and I'm pretty sure they're not here…"

"The Silver City have long been against such contact. I will demand that they change that position during our negotiations. But, once you are alive, you are free to worship as you choose. I would merely caution you to be aware of the consequences of your decision."

Ted nods emphatically. "Yeah, I-."

There's a flash of light as an angel appears.

"1:1 Oh king of Erebos-." The angel sees me and stops talking.

Lord Hades grins for a moment, then walks back to his throne and sits down with an air of nonchalance. "Is there something I can do for you?"

 

[Mr Zoat]

29th December 2011
9:16 GMT -8

"That's, ah… That's a bit of a complicated one."

I lean back slightly in my chair, mildly pleased that the studio managed to get one that met my requirements without being prodded. The G-Dwarfs have been… Not nagging me exactly, but repeatedly shuffling television offers to the top of my in tray for a while now. And given all the good work they've been doing in answering my fan mail, I felt like a bit of a heel for not cooperating. So here I am, sitting in the main studio of a minor religious affairs specialist broadcaster for a program which normally consists of pop-theology: inviting minor celebrities on to talk about the role of faith in their lives.

I may be a little more than they were expecting.

"Firstly, you need to understand that on the galactic scale, atheism basically doesn't exist. But then you also need to understand that I'm using 'atheist' in a very specific way. I'm referring to someone who has no belief in any higher power at all, and such a belief is very uncommon."

My interviewer nods. "So religion isn't something species grow out of."

"Not in the long term. It's not uncommon for there to be a bit of a dip following the discovery of the scientific method, because… There's suddenly an alternate set of answers for the 'Just So Story' parts of the local faiths."

"Ah, I'm sorry. Just so?"

"A collection of stories written by the British author and poet Rudyard Kipling. Amusing but nonsensical explanations for why parts of the world are the way they are. Elephants having trunks because something pulled on their noses very hard and stretched them out. In the mythological.. context, the equivalent would be the ancient Kahndaqi belief that the sun disappeared from the sky at night because the sun god was going through the underworld. At a certain point a civilisation gains the ability to demonstrate that such things are objectively untrue, and that can undermine the rest of the theological political establishment. The… Structure of the religious hierarchy."

"But, at the same time… That civilisation stands a good chance of having actually encountered a higher power. To pick a.. local example, Christians, Jews, Muslims and Sikhs believe in a single benevolent omnipotent creator god. But, all but the most close-minded will acknowledge that Wonder Woman has dealings with something, and that those beings have great magical might and are not human. Most worlds inhabited by intelligent beings will.. generate a god or two, given sufficient time. Earth has.. hundreds, each of whom might reasonably be considered a 'higher power', at least… Compared to most humans."

"And then there are… Sufficiently advanced aliens." I smile. "And I'm not talking about me here. Although I.. do actually have human worshippers now. There are.. also people who worship Superman, something I know he finds really uncomfortable. Probably the example of this that is most notable on a galactic scale is the worship of the Green Lantern Corps."

"The G-?" Mr McCay blinks in surprised. "The Green Lantern Corps? That's a little surprising."

"Oh no, it makes a lot of sense. The Green Lantern Corps has been around for at least a million years. They have a mandate to go out and do good in the universe. They have a clear and consistent moral and legal philosophy. A lot of places have stories of encountering Green Lanterns preventing environmental disasters early in their history, and then they get out into space, meet other species and compare notes… And it turns out that there's a great benevolent order of space heroes looking after everyone and everything. Or they encounter them when one of their own heroes is recruited, is brought to Oa and meets other heroes just as noble."

"Only a few places worship the Lanterns themselves. The Guardians of the Universe -the people who run the Corps- are considered to be minor divines in more than a few places. The largest purely Green Lantern Corps focused religion actually worships the green light itself. After the people of the planet Karax were saved from being eaten by the Spider Guild, they… Over time the practitioners of their main religion increasingly identified their concept of the divine with the philosophies of the Green Lantern Corps, and the light which empowers them."

"Things like this are why atheism basically doesn't exist. There are any number of more powerful beings out there. Refusing to believe they exist when you have good evidence that they do is simply… Foolish. Instead, what you get are materialists. People who believe that there's no… Fundamental difference between 'higher powers' and lower ones, merely a difference of power. What I find particularly amusing about it is how painfully logical such philosophies tend to be about moral utility."

"What do you mean by that?"

"If a normal man or woman dives in front of a bullet to stop it killing someone else, they are performing an exemplary act of self sacrifice. There are few acts more worthy of praise. On the other hand, if someone bulletproof like me does it, we're not really sacrificing anything. If I step in front of a regular bullet I probably won't even feel the impact. Rather than being an exemplary act of self sacrifice, it's merely a good deed. To that way of thinking, the more powerful you get, the more you have to do to justify praise. So the.. Guardians for example are worthy of respect not because they can crush planets as an act of will -and they can-, they're worthy of praise because of their constant and selfless acts on behalf of the people of the universe. They're not praising power, they're respecting actions."

"To that philosophy, anything that wanted people to directly worship it had better either be doing a lot of good in a non-self-serving way, or actually require it to accomplish a particular thing. An omnipotent being is of no interest to such a philosophy, because it would be trivially easy for it to do anything, and as such there is nothing it could do that would be worthy of praise. On Earth, the most notable group who have this belief are the sorcerers of Atlantis. They deal with spiritual beings on a regular basis, but almost all profess no particular religious faith."

"And what do your people believe?"

"My people…" I look away for a moment, my eyes running down the edge of the backdrop's scaffolding. "That's… Tricky. For the most part, those among my species who are aware of such things believe in a single divine power which runs throughout the universe. Precisely how that power is… Imagined varies from place to place. On New Genesis, they… Generally think of it in much the same way monotheists on Earth think of their god: a benevolent, unifying force for good in the universe. It isn't… Always considered to be responsible for the creation of the universe, but that belief isn't uncommon either. Obviously, they don't place any particular significance on the prophets of monotheistic faiths from Earth, but I imagine that you would find the generalities of their religious practice broadly familiar."

"Then you've got my own dear homeworld, Apokolips. And… The name? I've been assuming that it's a coincidence that it sounds like the biblical word of the end times, but given when that bit of the bible was written and the fact that I know that my father visited Earth about four thousand years ago it's entirely possible that the event got named after us. On Apokolips there's a split -and I've got no idea what the numbers on each side are- between those who believe that the Source -that's what we call it- is morally neutral and primarily motivated to make things 'interesting' so that it can learn from the rest of us, and those who believe that it is an essentially mindless energy, and ascribing any sort of agency to it is foolish."

"What makes this particularly significant in our society is that aristocrats like me… Connect to it when we come fully into our powers. On the New Genesis side, their ruler Highfather Izaya the Inheritor claims to have actually engaged in two-way communication with it, but… On Apokolips that claim is generally treated fairly sceptically. My grandfather tried something similar, with a bit less prayer-and-contemplation and a bit more brute-force-and-ignorance…" I face-shrug. "It didn't work out too well for him."

"Which possibility do you yourself believe to be true?"

I raise my arms high in an exaggerated shrug. "Don't know. I wasn't raised in a faithful environment. My father is the Apokoliptian God of Tyranny, and utterly rejects the idea of people bowing to anything but him. Since I.. expanded my education, I've tried reading up on the studies my grandfather performed… There's nothing conclusive. Across the universe, certain very selfless people can manifest similar magical -theurgical- power spontaneously, and when they do it… Feels like the Source. But that.. could just be mechanical."

"Other species have saints?"

"Pretty much. There are actually… Temples around the Source Wall dedicated to their lives. There are so many now that a pilgrim can spend their entire life walking from one to the next… Even taking into account the ones my grandfather destroyed."

BOOM!

Mr McCay can't quite help but jump as the boom tube opens.

"Now, last time I went anywhere near the Source Wall I ended up nearly being absorbed into it. I think my.. family have a bad reputation. But I have arranged for you to meet a temple leader from the temple with the best view of the closest part of the Source Wall to Earth. Don't worry, they've got high-quality translators, you'll be able to talk to them quite normally."

"And when they show you my grandfather's body… Wave for me, would you?"

 

[Mr Zoat]

2nd January 2012
8:11 GMT -5

There's a soft sound of displaced air as someone lands behind me.

"So… Are you just gunna stare at it all day?"

"No. Not all day." I turn around to look at Artemis and we smile at each other. "I just want to… Soak it all in."

She rolls her eyes as she walks past me and opens the Gotham zeta tube entrance. "It's just a training session, Paul."

"It's my first training session back. I want to get-."

"And aren't you going back to the other side of the galaxy, like, tomorrow?"

"Dox was kind enough to extend my leave slightly. Day after tomorrow. Apparently, he thinks that coming back from the dead will impress the delegates."

"Are you..? Really okay with all that?"

"Heh." She frowns slightly as I shake my head. "I read a Dungeons and Dragons fanfic a while ago, where one character remarked that he would rather die than lose a level. Because coming back from the dead just required a little gold and a high level cleric to fix, whereas level loss was permanent and required you to earn the experience all over again." I smile in what I hope is a reassuring way. "I don't like being caught unprepared. And I hate losing irreplaceable equipment. But-."

"You died, and you think the worst part was losing your sword?"

"I'm alive again now but the Sword is gone forever. Where would I find two demons as powerful as Second and Third to make another one?"

Neron would be a reasonable choice, if we ever find him. But I don't think even he has their level of power. And none of Hell's other worthies come close. That leaves… Trigon, maybe? Yeah, let's not.

"Would you really want to?"

"I'd like to have the option. It was a really great sword."

She shakes her head amusedly. "Since this is such a big day for you, do you want to go first?"

I close my eyes and smile beatifically. "No, I'm just going to stand here for another minute or two. You go right ahead."

"Okay, Weird Lantern."

"I love you too, Arrow Girl!"

"Recognized, Artemis, B zero eight."

I see the light flare from behind my closed eyelids as my rings respond to my desire for authenticity. I know it's just walking through a zeta tube, and it isn't like I haven't seen the team since I got back to Earth… It's not even as if I haven't worked with them during my extended absence. But I haven't been part of the team.

I step forward, my eyes open.

"Recognized, Orange Lantern, B zero six."

"Decided to grace us-" Beryl ducks under Tula's kick and then closes in. "-with your-" She sidesteps a punch and counters with a shot to the diaphragm, making Tula wince but not hitting a pureblood Atlantean hard enough to wind her. Beryl's eyes widen slightly as she realises her mistake, but she can't back up quite fast enough to dodge Tula's elbow and staggers back from the glancing blow. "-presence, have you?"

"I felt that I had deprived you for entirely too long."

Tula waves, then returns to a guard position. Hand to hand combat has never been her focus, so like me she hasn't spent much time training in it outside of the mandated lessons. At least, that's how it was when I left. Looks like she's decided to improve a little.

Artemis watches her movement for a moment, then turns her attention to Beryl. "Is everyone here already, or are we early?"

"Cornwall won't be here until this afternoon." Beryl steps in, then out again as Tula jabs at her. She then punches the side of Tula's extended arm, drawing a hiss. "Kaldur wants a word with you both before the meeting."

Both? I glance at Artemis, but she just shrugs back. I could understand him wanting to have a word with me, but if he wants to talk to Artemis as well it must be something not relating to my extended absence.

"He say what it was about?"

Beryl… Somehow manages to get Tula off-balance enough to trip and spin her, causing Tula to end up hitting the floor face first with a thud. Beryl steps back as Tula pushes herself up.

"No. Just something for senior members."

This time Artemis looks at me and I shrug. I wonder where the cut-off for 'senior' is. I'd.. guess Artemis, as everyone else either lacks field experience or hasn't actually been with the team all that long…

Gosh, it's only a year and a half.

I follow Artemis out of the training area and down the corridor towards the lift, and she slows to let me catch up.

"So… Are you gunna move back in?"

"Mmmmno, I don't think so. I might give my room the once-over just to make sure it's habitable in case I have to…" I shake my head. "Jade asked me to move in, so I'm actually going to be living in Gotham."

"Isn't she going to be on… Ah… Maltus?"

"It's cheaper than paying someone to house sit, and more secure than subletting."

"I guess-." She stops, then gives me an interrogative look. "Have you told Batman that you're going to be living in Gotham?"

I grin, and she shakes her head.

"You have to tell him. You went through all this trouble to get back on the team. This is the worst time for you to be hiding things from him."

I sigh. She's not wrong.

"Okay, I'll…" I frown. "Is he coming here today?"

"Only if he actually has a mission for us."

"If I haven't seen him by the end of the day, I'll send him a message."

She keeps her eyes on my face to make sure that I mean it, then turns away and walks into the lift. I get in after her as she presses the button for the meeting rooms.

"So how come you're not teleporting?"

"What, and leave you on your own?" She gives me a demi-shrug. "While I was in the Silver City, it was brought to my attention that I don't really know what the… Consequences of certain things I've done are going to be before I've done them. I don't know what the form of teleportation I've been using does to me… Or if it… Does anything to the people around me."

"Is that… Something we should worry about?"

"I don't know, that's the point. I mean, if it hasn't done anything yet then it's probably not a short term threat. I'm going to try and talk a Controller into coming here to check everyone just in case, but… I'm going to curtail my usage, just in case."

"I guess that makes sense."

The lift doors open and we proceed out, Wallace sticking his head out of one of the rooms.

"Hey, beautiful! Looking good!"

"Hey Wallace." I look him over lasciviously. "Not looking so bad yourself."

Artemis shoves me into the wall.

 

[Mr Zoat]

2nd January 2012
8:17 GMT -5

"Hey, look who's back."

Richard grins at me as I push open the door to the meeting room, construct ice pack on my head. Artemis spots it, then gives her head a small shake, breath hissing dismissively through her teeth. M'gann smiles, Kon nods and Kaldur…

Kaldur stands, and holds out his right hand. I dismiss my construct and shake it.

"Welcome back."

"Thank you for having me back." We release our mutual grip, and I step back to occupy an empty seat. "What's on the agenda?"

"In essence, what your return means for the team."

"It was only six months. You can't have forgotten what working with me was like that quickly."

Kaldur's eyes dip for a moment as he shakes his head. "The original purpose of this team was to give young heroes the opportunity to work independently from their mentors, and to hone their skills under the tutelage of the entire Justice League. You were to be the program's first graduate-."

"Except for Roy-. Ah, William."

Kon looks unconvinced by Wallace's technically accurate claim. "He went on two missions with us. And one of those was just him trying to work out which one of us was the mole."

"Regardless of the particulars of Roy's status, it is Orange Lantern who presents the problem."

I nod. "Because I'm not joining the Justice League soon, if ever."

Richard raises his right eyebrow. "Do you actually want to, Oh El?"

"… Not really."

"Then we have a problem. I am uncertain how much a League member can teach you. Lantern Gardner has been clear that you train together as equals, and Lantern Stewart has stated that he learns more from you than you do from him."

"There's always more to learn, but… Yeah. And…" I look over to M'gann. "I'm pretty sure that M'gann is a better shapeshifter and telepath than Mister J'onzz."

"Stronger? Yes." She nods a little reluctantly. "Better? No. He's got so much more experience than me that he can apply his power much better than I can."

Kaldur nods. "The team takes part in missions because there are things which cannot effectively be taught in the classroom. As the team gains new members, there will increasingly be things which they need to learn for the first time which we do not."

Richard nods. "You think we should start teaching classes?"

Kaldur nods. "And perhaps act as mentors to those young heroes who do not have mentors of their own."

Wallace nods. "Yeah. It can't be healthy for Cornwall to be getting taught magic by a dead guy."

"The uniform is perfectly clean, and he's a disembodied spirit. No risk of disease transmission at all. And only a small risk of boggarts."

"No, not healthy as in disease. I mean that he doesn't know how modern technology or society work. He doesn't know what superheroes are supposed to do."

I nod. When I last asked about it, Rob said that Mr Marrack Very Senior was fairly hands off about that part of his training. I'm not sure if he can't adapt due to being dead, or if he just thinks that it's something Rob needs to work out for himself.

Artemis gives Kaldur a.. slightly hard look. "So we're getting new recruits."

"Batman strongly implied to me that we would."

Wallace swivels his head to glare weakly at his closest friend. "Roooob?"

He raises his hands. "I can't say anything. If I said: 'even if I knew who they were, I wouldn't be allowed to tell you' then you'd know I knew, even though I hadn't said that I know. And you'd know that I knew if I said that I know but couldn't tell you what I know. And even if I said that I didn't know, you'd still think I knew!"

"Osiris. Amon."

Wallace jerks his head back around. "Wait, Batman told you?"

"No, but it isn't that hard to deduce. Amon's a nice lad, Adom admires the League, and I imagine that Batman would prefer him learning post-industrial age heroing from us rather than bronze age heroing from Adom. Plus, the fact that his social circle is a bit limited would make him keen on signing up."

Richard smirks. "Didn't you say that the League had too many super strong fliers, Oh El?"

"I said it had a disproportionate number of super strong fliers, to the detriment of team flexibility. Of course, once they get over a certain number they can use tactics which rely on it. And Amon also has enhanced speed and intellect."

M'gann turns to Kon while simultaneously enveloping his left hand with both of hers. "Do you think Kara will want to join?"

Kon gives his head a small shake. "She's not really.. into it. I think she finds the whole thing really weird. Krypton didn't really.. have superheroes."

"Huh." Wallace sits back a little. "I kinda thought being a superhero was just part of being Kryptonian."

"Traditionally, Els are scientific researchers. Kal-El grew up on Earth. Kara Zor-El grew up on Krypton, so she's a lot more… Traditional."

"Yeah, but she's still super strong, super fast and has laser eyes."

Richard shrugs. "I don't know, Wally. She's also got tons of knowledge from growing up in a space age civilization. She'd probably find it a whole lot easier to use that than learn about how Earth's laws work."

"Ac.. tually…" Artemis frowns. "I think she should think about coming here even if she doesn't wanna be a superhero. Robin, you remember how hard it was to learn how to use super strength, right?"

He nods ruefully. "Yeah, me and every thug and rooftop in Gotham."

"Superman grew up super strong, but she didn't. Is she.. breaking stuff?"

Kon shakes his head. "No, but she is being really careful. Superman suggested she try learning self defense, but she just said…" He shrugs. "'What's a mugger going to have that could hurt me?' And she's got a point."

"Zatanna has informed me that she would like to rejoin the team." Everyone looks at Kaldur.

Richard frowns slightly. "She didn't say anything about that to me."

I don't look at him.

"Her father no longer requires her care, and…" Kaldur looks at me, and after a moment everyone else's gaze follows his.

"What?"

Artemis rolls her eyes.

"Look, I didn't tell her to leave, and I didn't encourage her to come back. She's-."

Artemis nods sarcastically. "Yeah, I'm sure you coming back had nothing to do with her decision. And I'm sure the fact that Jade's gunna be on the other side of the galaxy for months didn't have anything to do with it either."

Ahhh… Shazbot.

 

[Mr Zoat]

2nd January 2012
8:28 GMT -5

"…po-ssible, but unlikely." Richard and I lag slightly behind the others as we make our way to the training area. "Flag Sergeant Pushkin is a career soldier in an elite military unit. The minimum age the Red Rockets are taking anyone is twenty five, and they'd be top flight officers and elite soldiers. There aren't… Red Rocket Juniors or anything like that."

"Sure there are." He raises his left arm and activates his holoscreen, displaying… A video of patriotic Russian school children wearing power armour made of painted cardboard boxes while Sergeant Pushkin watches in admiration. "See?"

"I think they're a little young for us."

It was nice to learn that he'd made the cut. Quite aside from the fact that it probably means that the Russian government isn't going to nag me about it, the League are going to have an easier time operating in Russia and its allies and can count on a slightly friendlier reception from a permanent member of the Security Council. In a few years they can promote Robert, then it will just be a matter of finding a French superhero worth including.

…

Four out of five isn't bad.

And.. of course, Justice League membership should be about expanding the League's capacities, not about national representation. But Sergeant Pushkin does increase the League's capabilities with his ability to effortlessly hijack nearby machines. His armour and weaponry aren't terrible, but they're not anything other League members can't do better.

"And the other three new League members don't have partners."

"Excuse me." I fold my arms across my chest. "Alan most certainly does."

Richard grins as we enter the training area and fan out, facing the zeta tube. Canis is sketching something while Beryl watches and Raquel tries to tell him to stop. Tula and Garth are standing so that their shoulders are touching. Let's see: Robert sent his apologies and Donna's back at college. Not sure where Roy is, and if Zatanna's rejoining she isn't here as yet.

"Isn't he kinda your sidekick?"

"He's got about twenty years' experience on me. So, no."

Beryl's head snaps around. "I thought we weren't allowed to use the-"

"Recognized, Red Rocket, two six."

"-'s' word."

Sergeant Pushkin marches out of the zeta tube, helmet under his left arm and smiling broadly. "Hello Justice Youth!"

There's a.. slight hesitation from the assembled members of the team, a marvellous diffusion of responsibility as no one wants to be the one to tell him that we're not actually called that.

We really need to pick a name, don't we?

"I am Red Rocket, but you can all call me Dmitri."

Kaldur finally steps forwards, holding out his right hand. "We are pleased to meet you, sir."

There's a slight flicker of hesitation before Dmitri shakes his hand. Not completely sure what that's about-. Ah. He's confused about the discipline. When people not entirely familiar with America's superheroic tradition hear that they don't run their… Our organisations with military discipline, there's a slight tendency to assume that we act like slobs when not in public. He's been to at least one Justice League meeting and I know for a fact those are nothing like as formal as military briefings. And yet, here we are, lined up to greet the 'officer' who was prepared for… A Scout troop or something. But we're also- Canis stows his sketchpad somewhere. -not as disciplined as officer cadets. Our costumes aren't uniform, our lines aren't straight and we're not all shouting 'yes, drill sergeant'… Which means that he's not sure either way.

"Please, it's Dmitri. I have no command authority over the team!"

Kaldur.. looks like he isn't completely comfortable with the situation either. "Do you have a mission for us, sir?"

"An assignment, yes. I am afraid that you will not be fighting the forces of evil today."

The training area's holoscreen lights up behind him, showing images of last week's fight in Heaven.

"As you know, winged humanoids of a species associated with Christian mythology attacked the Earth last week. At this point the Justice League is aware of all of the locations where they focused their efforts."

The pictures shrink, a rotating globe covered in red dots replacing it. Some of them… Ambrose escaped, but he was fairly peeved at me until I rebuilt his house. Ted said that he expects a fight with his insurance agency even though he can categorically prove that KordTech New York's destruction wasn't an Act of God. Looks like they nuked Aleister Crowley's holiday home, which is probably a good thing. Skyros didn't have any working telephones after what the angels did there, though I'm not sure what they were hoping to achieve. As far as I'm aware the First hated the place, precisely because of its historical significance.

"Some of these sites, there are clear reasons why they would be targeted. They have long histories of occult practice, or are… Home to strange monsters." A wide cross-section of red dots turn green. "But that still leaves us with many which do not have such histories or inhabitants. You will divide these sites between yourselves as you see fit, and investigate them."

Kaldur nods. "How long will we have?"

Dmitri grins. "Until something explodes!"

His joke falls… Somewhat flat. Though I suppose that he has a point. This is a fieldwork task with no obvious opposition. Unless something does explode, we could keep working on this until we have a solution. And once something does explode then it's probably too late for it to matter.

"Ah… That is, as long as you like. Local authorities will be investigating as well, but you have expertise and access to resources which they do not have."

There's a brief round of pings as my team mates' computers receive data packets on the locations. I tap my ring and grab a co.. py.

I frown. The heck were they doing on Ayers Rock?

"I have just a few more things to say before you may begin your work. First, I am your commissar for the week!"

Out of the corner of my eye I see Tula turn her head slightly towards Beryl. "Commissar?"

"I will encourage you in your work and sing uplifting patriotic songs!" He grins even wider. "But only if you are very slow, yes? Also, those of you who live here will have great pleasure of having me do the cooking. Best thing about not living in backside of Siberia is that we get decent food. Second, your old team mate Zatanna will be rejoining you, as well as new team mate."

"Recognised, Zatanna Zatara, B zero nine, Starfire, B one eight."

Starfire? What's she doing here-?

Zatanna strides through the zeta tube exit, wearing… Not her Sororitas armour, but a slightly armoured version of her old stage magician costume. She's also carrying her staff. She smiles at the team, then walks around the group to.. stand between myself and Richard.

Then-.

Ah. The individual I know as Red Star strolls out and stands at ease next to Red Rocket.

"Hello! I am Starfire! I will look forward to working with you all!"

 

[Mr Zoat]

2nd January 2012
8:39 GMT -5

Raquel has been shooting Mr Kovar puzzled glances since we sat down. He finally picks up on it, straightening up in his seat and looking directly at her, his face impassive.

"Yes? Is there something I can do for you?"

"What do you.. do, exactly? 'Cause I've been keeping up with foreign superheroes and I've never heard of you."

"I have not been active as a superhero. There is no reason why you would have heard of me."

And his head goes back down to reading the League's compilation of reports of the whole 'Sky On Fire' event.

"So… Why are you on a superhero team?"

"Because I want to be a superhero. Russia does not… After the collapse of the Soviet Union, our training systems for new superheroes have not been as good as they were. Many Russian citizens with powers join the mafia or radical political groups. America has the longest tradition of any country of producing superheroes. Therefore, this is the best place to continue my training."

"So you've been training. Who with, Red Rocket?"

"No, in the Zhukov Air and Space Defense Academy in Tver. I am not a.. qualified officer, but I have been trained combat and tactics."

"You a pilot?"

He hesitates slightly. "I am.. trained to fly light aircraft, fighter aircraft. I am not.. ace pilot. Is not.. useful, with my strength."

"You can't fly yourself?"

"Ahh…" He glances aside, smiling slightly. "Yes, but… Not very fast. I prefer space ship."

"You fly rockets?"

"No. My father… Worked on secret projects. Analysing alien technology for government. Some was.. not good for human body." He shrugs. "Some was very good for human body. Project produced a ship of.. many parts. Some human technology, some alien… Works better for me than for anyone else. Like the Chinese with their Immortal Dark Man." He smiles faintly. "Only my power does not eat me."

"Technically, his doesn't eat him either. The Durlan technology just causes his molecules to lose cohesion with one another. The ship doesn't consume him."

Mr Kovar nods. "I will remember that, sir."

"I'm.. not actually 'sir'. I was the team second in command, then I resigned."

"You are not an officer in the Orange Lantern Corps?"

"No, I-" I nod. "-am. But unless you join the Corps, or the Darkstars, or Legion, you still don't need to call me 'sir'."

"I was.. being polite. What should I call you?"

"Up to you, really. I'm fine with you using my name, Orange Lantern, Oh El… You can call me 'Illustres' if you want, but I'm not used to people using that title yet."

He nods. "I.. don't actually know your family name."

I sigh. "No one does except me, and I haven't found a way to communicate it to anyone."

He stares at me, his eyes widening slightly. "You are serious? It was in the file about you, but I thought it was joke."

"Not a joke-. Not a joke from whoever wrote the report. Possibly a joke from whoever's doing it to me."

He frowns. "That is very strange."

I shake my head. "Compared to magical mind control starfish, it really isn't." I wave my right hand, expanding my holographic screen. "Okay, so unless anyone has a better idea, I think we should start with the one in Liverpool. That's got John Constantine written all over it."

Raquel nods. "Your magic guy, right?" She tries to bring up his file, and… All that's there is basic biographical information. "Ah…" She closes the file and opens it again. Same result. "Didn't this..? Used to be a whole lot bigger?"

Oh, that's interesting. I call up the file on my own screen, then apply my ring to it. Yep, it's not a permissions thing. Not unless Batman's gotten a whole lot more paranoid and significantly upgraded his equipment.

"Huh. Never actually seen the results before…"

"What, the League getting hacked? 'Cause this isn't supposed to happen."

"John's got a spell he uses to wipe out people's records of him. Written, electronic…" Be interesting to find out... "Ring, what have you got?"

A two dimensional construct screen appears… With the full file. Score one for alien supertech. I flick my left ring finger at the screen, returning the contents to the League.

"Looks like it doesn't work on power rings, and if you remember the file then human memories are safe."

"I'll send a report to Batman."

"Yeah…"

Hm. I know this file was still intact when I left Earth. Which means that he probably performed the ritual more recently… I'd have to check when the League upgraded their arcane defences. Prior to becoming a Lord of Chaos John wouldn't have been able to brute force a decent ward. These days? Possibly.

"Anyway, an angel attack in Liverpool is something I suspect that he would have been involved in. Which means that I'm probably the best choice for looking into it."

"Other than, maybe, an actual wizard." She smiles in a way which looks decidedly sinister. "Why don't we ask Zatanna?"

"Yeah." I nod. "And maybe Beryl. That will make dealing with local authorities easier."

"Oh. Ah, I thought you were trying to avoid her."

"No, no, Zatanna… Is a good friend of mine."

Mr Kovar frowns faintly. "Is there problem?"

"After her father was possessed, I made a point of being extremely supportive. We did a lot of the research which resulted in the lich's destruction together, spent a lot of time together…"

His frown deepens. "She is fifteen?"

"Yes! Why don't more people remember that?"

"Ah." His brow smoothes. "So you did not-?"

"No. I have a girlfriend, we're perfectly happy together. I like Zatanna, but I'm not romantically interested in her. I have told her that."

He nods. "But she is fifteen, and likes you. We could ask either Aquagirl or Tempest?"

"No, she's probably a better choice. And I don't want her to think that I'm abandoning her." I glance at Raquel. "We agreeing on Liverpool?" She nods. "Okay, I'll ask them to join us."

 

[Mr Zoat]

2nd January 2012
8:46 GMT -5

Beryl glances up from her computer, messages sent to the appropriate people in the Liverpool police. "How exactly are we getting there? The zeta tube only goes as far as London."

Zatanna frowns. "Paul can just transmit us there."

"I'm… Trying to ease up on doing that."

She frowns, puzzled. "Why?"

"Because… When I spoke to Boss Smiley, he pointed out that I've been rushing.. certain things without knowing the results. I know orange light exposure alters the way people think, and I've been… Cavalier about it."

"Oh. Then how about I put a spell of protection on everyone first?"

"Um. " I glance at her staff. "We also didn't-."

"This?" She raises her staff slightly, and I nod. "If you really think it's a problem, I can just cast it without using it."

Mr Kovar looks back, his eyes moving from me to Zatanna. "Is there a problem? We can use my ship if it is necessary."

Raquel raises her eyebrows as I trigger the external door and we walk up the ramp to the exterior. "You brought it with you?"

"The Director…" He looks a little uncomfortable. "Knows that the Justice League is not entirely comfortable with government-backed, non-American superheroes. To reduce this discomfort, I and Red Rocket are to be supported to the fullest extent possible. I may be recalled, but ship is assigned with me."

Raquel stops. "Is it in the hangar?"

"No. Would not fit." He looks at me. "Ship is in upper atmosphere. Should I call to it?"

"Please do." He nods, and taps his earpiece. "Does 'fullest extent' mean that I can study the ship in detail?"

"Eah..?" He thinks for a moment. "Yes, but only for League purposes. Not to share with other governments." He glances up. "The ship will arrive in two minutes."

"I was more thinking about making sure that it was safe than replicating it." I shake my head. "Last time I suggested getting the League a self-defence fleet I was politely turned down."

His jaw tightens slightly. "The League's mandate does not include being the Earth's military."

"No, but it does include fighting off alien attacks. Which is quite hard to do when you're not allowed military hardware. There just aren't enough space combat capable metahumans to handle the job. And of course, no country's military is allowed to put weapons in orbit."

He folds his arms across his chest. "You think that is foolish."

"Heck yes. The treaty was dumb when it was signed -the US and the USSR both knew that there were aliens with the ability to reach Earth- and it's even dumber now. Your ship; is it really just cobbled together parts of recovered alien ships?"

"I would not use that word, but…" He nods. "Most of the critical systems were salvage."

Something occurs to Beryl. "Was that the ship Russia was using to search for Ocean Master?"

He nods, his body posture relaxing slightly. "Yes. It is not agile, but it is fast and reasonably well armed. I have performed several search and rescue missions with it. But I would not have wanted to attempt to attack the water monster with it."

Ring, scan for the ship.

Compliance.

At least I can detect it. It's a grey half-ovoid with some truly huge thrusters at the rear. Yes I imagine that has a pretty decent turn of speed. There are.. odd gaps between the armour plates. Salvaged? Or… No, they needed the space for the shield emitters, sensors and gunnery. I can already see parts from the technology of at least two species… Other parts that are relatively common could have come from anywhere.

Raquel regards Mr Kovar curiously. "Why'd you pick 'Starfire'?"

"I did not pick 'Starfire'. My superiors selected it based on the codename of the original research project. And the fact that no present or past superhero has used it."

"They say why they picked it?"

"There is… There are problems with many symbols of old Russia in modern Russia. The.. government does not like using symbols of the communist era, the sickle or the hammer. A-" He looks down at his t-shirt. "-star is generic enough that it is acceptable. And-" He holds up his right hand and red light crackles around his fingers, a white ball forming over his palm. Looks like… Unstable plasma generated from air molecules. I wonder if he powers it himself or draws power continuously from his ship? "-I can make things burn."

"I'm afraid you're not entirely correct about no one else using it."

He turns to me, eyebrows slightly raised. "A British superhero? I am surprised they did not check."

"No." I generate a construct image of Koriand'r. "My joint first recruit into the Orange Lantern Corps is called Koriand'r. Her name literally translates as 'starfire'."

Zatanna takes a look at the construct and quietly splutters. Beryl glances at Zatanna and smirks quietly to herself.

Mr Kovar looks her over. "Is she likely to come to Earth?"

"Not.. to work on an ongoing basis, but she'll probably visit at some point."

He shrugs. "I have not been officially announced yet. The name might change, but if she is not on Earth then it will probably stay. I have-" He eyes the statue again. "-question about the team."

"Go ahead."

"What are the rules on-" Ah. "-interpersonal conduct? I am used to military environment, but this is not military."

Zatanna turns her head aside, hiding her mouth behind her right fist.

"There… Aren't any formal rules. You're expected to behave in a professional manner when working, but other than that the only real.. issue is the age difference. Robin joined the team at fourteen, and-."

"I do not wish to date Robin."

Zatanna snerks.

"Okay, yes, good. But you should understand that there are a range of ages represented on the team."

"Yes, I will be aware."

There's a wailing sound in the air, quiet but growing in volume.

"Where are you planning on living? There are rooms in the mountain-."

He nods. "I am used to living in barracks. The mountain will be fine."

There's a woosh of displaced air, and the cloud cover condenses in a sudden brief downpour. His ship is about three kilometres above us, having reversed its direction in order to use its own thrusters to slow down. Movement arrested, it descends towards us, car alarms triggering across Happy Harbour.

"So, ah…" Raquel points up at it. "That doesn't come with a stealth mode, huh?"

 

[Mr Zoat]

2nd January 2012
15:52 GMT

Mr Kovar's eyes are constantly in motion as we head down Duke Street, taking in everything we walk past. Looks like the gentrification hasn't quite made it this far. There are some buildings which are clearly recent additions: metal balconies, large double glazed windows and areas painted white to break up the sheer red-brown of the brickwork. Others are plain brick, and half of those have their windows boarded up. Stripped for their eventual demolition or simply fallen out of use, I wonder?

The warehouse where the British heroes and I fought Dark Druid's victims a little over a year ago is quite some distance from here. No real reason why it might have drawn the attention of angels; the place was thoroughly decontaminated, both conventionally and mystically. Instead, they attacked an apparently random block of flats and burned off the entire top floor. Though it was evacuated, the fire didn't spread. They weren't attacking the residents, there was something particular about whatever was up there that offended them.

"Have you done much travelling before?"

"Yes, I have travelled across much of the planet."

"Just zoomed over it, or actually stopped and had a look around?"

"No, I have not visited. May I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"I hear you in Russian, but the others speak to you in English. How is this happening?"

"What language are you speaking at the moment?"

"English. I need practice."

"Power rings have a translation system. As long as my rings are charged-" And.. I need to check whether or not Krona's ring actually has that feature. "-then anyone who hears me will hear me in their first language, and I'll hear them in mine."

"Ah. I knew the power rings had translation, but I thought it was only… For your hearing."

"No, not just hearing. It does writing and body language, too. Extremely useful when dealing with non-humanoids."

Except when you're not looking at the right part of their body, of course. If I'd been able to look the Queen in the face while I was…

I push open the doors to Uncle Joe's Café and walk inside. Not a lot of people in here at this time of day. One man is nursing a coffee in a window seat, a copy of The Sun laid out in front of him. A large bald man with an impressive moustache is cleaning one of the tables, and he turns around as he hears the door open.

"Fuckin' hell. You Orange Lantern?"

"Yes." I hold out my right hand as he puts down his cloth. "Pleased to meet you."

"Not going t' make a giant cake or nuthin', are yeh?"

"Wasn't planning to, sir, but one never knows when a situation will arise that calls for it."

He shakes my hand somewhat cautiously, then jabs his right thumb at the counter. "You want somethin'?"

"I would like to speak to Ms Spatchcock, if she's availab-."

"ANGIE!" He turns his head in the direction of the serving hatch. "BLOKE 'ERE FOR YAH!"

I hear stomping.

"It better not be John Bloody-" A woman emerges from the kitchen doorway. "-Constbloody hell!"

"Actually, it's mostly ash. Though they are redecorating. Do you have a moment?"

She looks at the bald man, who shrugs and then returns to his cleaning. "This way."

She leads the way back into the kitchen, steps out of the way for Mr Kovar and me to pass, then firmly shuts the door behind us. She takes a moment to size me up.

"John talked about you."

"He mentioned you a couple of times as well. Congratulations on surviving. A lot of his friends don't manage that."

She stares at me for a moment. "I heard the angels demanding you hand yourself over-." She looks away, shaking her head. "No, everyone heard."

"It got sorted out. What interests me is why they came here."

Her eyes widen. "How'd you know about that?"

"The top of a block of flats got burned off, it wasn't exactly sub-."

"They visited me. That bastard Constantine put something in me blood. So they had to get rid of it."

"I.. assume that they weren't gentle."

She folds her arms across her chest, rubbing her upper arms. "Felt like being set on fire, and I've been weaker ever since."

"Would you like me to make sure that you're healthy?" She nods, and I give her a scan. Hm. "Nothing much wrong, though if you're feeling weaker it's probably the result of arcane damage my rings can't detect. Knowing John…" Marvellous. "A few years ago he was given a blood transfusion from the demon Nergal. It made him… Demonier. Stronger, tougher, nastier. Filled with self-loathing. More than normal."

"And the angel got rid of it?"

"Probably. A magic-using colleague of mine is currently examining Elster Tower. I can ask her to give you a once-over as well if you like."

"Elster Tower. Not surprised they torched the place."

"Misery, suicide, and a few murders. Still unsolved. John stopped off here and they got worse… Then stopped. Which is his usual pattern. Why did the angels go there?"

She shakes her head. "They needn't have bothered, it's getting torn down…" She thinks for a moment, trying to work out whether to tell me. She's got a good enough grip on her emotions that I can't easily see… "There was a witch. She and her sons were murdering people, and she was… Doing something with the bodies." I nod. "John and me got her, but we didn't stick around for the police."

"John's never been very good at tidy resolutions. She and her sons died at the time?" She nods. "And their flat?"

"Left empty. I think John did something to make sure of it."

I nod. Wouldn't be too hard for him to make people forget it was even there if he put his mind to it. But actually clearing up the place would have been quite out of character for him.

"Thank you for your help."

"Make sure I'm not about to catch fire again and we're even." I no-. "Do you know where he is?"

"No. I haven't spoken to him for six months."

She mulls that over for a moment.

"It's not that I'm worried. But I think John Constantine is a man who wants keeping an eye on."

Not like I went looking for him immediately after he told me not to. But perhaps I could start looking for him a bit more actively?

"I think you might be right."

 

[Mr Zoat]

2nd January 2012
14:32 -5 GMT

"…moral distinction between killing someone by using magic to stop someone's heart and just shooting them? Or stopping someone's heart and conjuring a fireball?"

I don't find Zatanna's cheerful response to Mr Kovar's question on magical ethics in any way strange, but I think that he was expecting something a little more… Conventional?

"I… Had been told that certain types of magic… You could not stop using them?"

Zatanna's eyes move to her staff for a second. As do mine. "I.. guess if you decide that you want to kill someone… You're always going to know that spell... And if you keep making enemies, you're more likely to be in a position where you want to kill people in the future." She shrugs as we walk down the slope into the training area. "Demons like it when people get addicted to making deals with them, but with demons it's them who do most of the work, not the one summoning them."

"…agreed to help him."

Richard and Robert are at attention in front of Diana and… A woman I don't recognise. A woman who I assume doesn't feel the cold, because that is not a winter costume.

"Good afternoon, sir. Another new recruit?"

"Ah, fuck you-" The woman raises her left middle finger at me. "-asshole."

"I'm.. afraid that I'm in a relationship at the moment..." I move my eyes from her to Diana, eyebrows raised in hope of an explanation.

"This is Mister Joseph Hamill. He recently had an encounter with a device which we believe may have been created by a mad scientist: a round yellow device-" She makes a circle with her hands about twenty centimetres in diameter. "-this size, with a dial like that found on a rotary dial telephone."

Raquel raises her eyebrows. "Damn, girl."

Ah. That makes a little more sense. I never read any comics where the H-dial was the focus. One with Alan where someone stole it to prevent Father Time researching it, and I… Think there was one with the Metal Men. Powers of dubious utility, often combined with radical physical transformations…

"Ah. That makes a little more sense."

"Etta called me after he was apprehended breaking into the Themysciran Embassy. I have confirmed that his version of events is largely true. Unfortunately, his transformation was a…" Diana looks at… Mister Hamill and he… She..? Tries to fold his arms across her chest, only for her breasts to get in the way. Yes, I can see how that could happen. "Traumatic one, and he lost hold of the device. It fell into the Hudson River."

I nod, then turn to Mr Kovar. "Starfire, how waterproof are you?"

"Pressure does not trouble me, but I still need to-"

"Gniyonna ecived, raeppa ni ym dnah!"

"-breathe."

Zatanna holds out her left hand, violet mist swirling around it for a moment before evaporating to reveal…

Zatanna frowns and holds up the device. "Anyone.. know what this is?"

"Yes, I hadn't realised that they kept it." I take it from her. "Red Arrow and Artemis played a prank on me with this last year. Plug it into the Mountain's communication system and it makes the internal communications system play 'God Save the Queen'. Quite annoying, but not what we're looking for."

Zatanna looks at Mr Hamill. "Did you.. get a picture or anything?"

She shakes her head. "No. I thought it was a.. kids' toy or something."

"Gnimrofsnart laid, raeppa ni ym dnah!"

Another cloud of violet mist and… An actual baby's toy. It does have a phone dial, and… Pressing the large plastic buttons changes the pictures. Huh. I think a small child would probably find that f-. Ah. LexCorp. Never mind then.

"Raeppasid." The toy vanishes in another puff of mist as Zatanna shakes her head. "Maybe if I had a better description?"

Mr Hamill shrugs, and if I needed any confirmation that she wasn't wearing a bra with that costume I now have it. "I was just playing with the dial. I wasn't even really paying it any attention."

"Do you have a picture of what you looked like before your transformation?"

"What, you think I was walking around dressed like this when I was a dude? Alla my stuff vanished when I transformed." She looks down at herself and grimaces. "Do you-?" She looks at Diana. "Do you have any, like, clothes I could borrow? I don't.. really…" She makes a vague cupping gesture.

Diana keeps a completely straight face. "I don't believe that I own anything in your size. Orange Lantern?"

"Sir?"

"Would you please act as Mister Hamill's tailor? I would also like you to attempt to assess how powerful the device has made him."

"Sir."

"Robin, I would like you to investigate the device. Mister Hamill found it on a building site, but he has no idea how it got there. I would like to find the device, but as Orange Lantern is fond of pointing out…"

He nods. "If someone could make that dial thing once, they could do it again."

"The ability to reliably give superpowers to people is something of grave concern to the world." She looks pointedly at me. I clear my throat and dip my eyes. "If the person who made it is a criminal then they need to be stopped. If they are a legitimate researcher, we need to find out how the device left their custody and encourage them to improve their security."

"You got it."

Diana looks at me for a moment, then smiles with… Embarrassment? "Which of you has seniority?"

Richard and I look at each other for a moment.

"Well, technically, Aqualad then Miss Martian, but I guess since they're not here..?"

"I was gone for six months. He does."

Diana nods. "Very well. I will leave Mister Hamill in your care-."

Mister Hamill pulls a face. "Wait, with the sidekicks?"

"You aren't in any danger, Mister Hamill, and we have no evidence of a criminal conspiracy. These young heroes are perfectly capable of performing an investigation."

"And I did once spin the moon around." I shrug. "Just saying."

Mister Hamill holds her gaze for a moment, then bows her head. "God, I'm… I'm sorry, this whole thing's got me so stressed out…"

Beryl pulls her neck in slightly. "Yes, being a woman. Dreadful position to be in."

"That is alright." Diana lays her right hand on Mr Hamill's left shoulder. "We are trying to help. Please cooperate with them."

Mr Hamill nods. "Yeah, yeah, I will."

Diana nods, then turns around and strides towards the zeta tube, Mr Hamill's eyes firmly affixed on her posterior.

"Robin, can I borrow Squire? I could use her intelligence and.. knowledge of female attire."

Beryl smirks. "Oh, I know nothing in my wardrobe would fit him."

"Okay. Everyone else, we're heading for New York."

I smile at the inadvertent transsexual. "Mr Hamill? Please come with me."

 

[Bomaz]

Just a quick notice to finish this story only thread nicer than the last one

There is a new thread on questionable questing. Should be accessible in the list here. (linking the list itself since it should be SFW as per this)

Zoat is now banned. See here.