[X] Anything you think I should watch out for out there?
[X] How balls to the wall is this world? Or is my gut feeling after getting to know boob madness was a thing wrong?
[X] So are other ROB as bad as I heard? Granted my source is not that accurate. (Isekai fanfics)
[X] Any secrets that need to be kept?
[X] Any advice?
[X] Is there anything that goes bump in the night that should be avoided?
[X] Should I... try to stop people poking at things? Cause I don't want to find out if the Yellow King is a thing.
[X] Don't forget to collect on your hug... it isn't every life that you get to hug Bob the ROB.
"So, anything you think I should watch out for out there?"
Bob tilts their head to the side... You resist the urge to hnnnggghhh at how cute it is. "Oh! I suppose I should tell you a bit about how things might be different... See, this might not be the Soul Eater world you know. It's twenty years after the end of the series, so... Things might not be as dangerous. DWMA has been trying to maintain good relations with the Witches' Realm, monstrous races like Bloodsuckers and Werewolves are allowed to enter DWMA and be open about it, and the Madness of Boobs has been subtly, but benignly, affecting the world."
"...Manga canon?"
"Manga canon."
Thank fuck. "How balls to the wall is this world? Or is my gut feeling after getting to know the Madness of Boobs was a thing wrong?"
Bob sighs and slumps against their desk. "It's... Tiny Toon Adventures with bewbs. I-It's Bleach, on crack! And with comparable care to long-term planning and worldbuilding implications that Tite Kubo gives Bleach..."
Sonuva... Just what are you getting into? "So, are other ROBs as bad as I've heard? Granted my only sources are isekai fanfics..."
Bob sits up, almost looking surprised. "Oh! Um... I-I'm not that kind of ROB. I'm a
Reincarnation Omnipotent Being, not a
Random Omnipotent Being. we handle reincarnation as a postmortem event, we don't throw people into worlds just to be mean..."
Oh... That's a relief.
"The downside, though, is that unlike a Random Omnipotent Being, I really can't help or contact you once you're in your new world. Since we just handle reincarnation, us Reincarnation Omnipotent Beings have a more hands-off approach. Once the actual reincarnation is done, so is our job. We try to remedy this by making sure our clients are as prepared as possible for their new life."
Awww... So you won't see Bob again? "Any secrets I need to keep?"
Bob reaches for their papers and starts shuffling and straightening them. "Well, you can tell others you're reincarnated if you feel they can handle it or might believe you, but I ask that you not tell them about us ROBs. The fact that extradimensional deities exist is... probably not something a world with its own gods has to know. Might affect power balance."
Understandable. "Any advice?"
They smile. "Try to find a Meister as soon as possible. The sooner you do, the sooner you can get out of NOT and into EAT, and the sooner you can start hunting evil souls."
Makes sense. "Is there anything that goes bump in the night that should be avoided?"
Bob shrugs. "Well, with DWMA's new policies, a lot of Bloodsuckers, Werewolves, Monster Cats, Witches, Sorcerers, and Demons aren't just okay with the DWMA now, they've even joined it! But that doesn't mean evil humans and old grudges among the non-humans don't still exist. But join DWMA and find a good Meister and you should be able to handle most threats. Just... remember, no one is an island. People think asking for help is a sign of weakness, but... No matter how strong you are, allies can make you stronger."
Solid advice. You smile at Bob. "Heh... Cinnamon roll."
Is that a blush on their cheeks?
"Should I... try to stop people poking at things? Cause I don't want to find out if the Yellow King is a thing."
Bob giggles. "Don't worry. Trust in your Meister, trust in Shinigami-sama, trust in your instructors, trust in DWMA, trust in your fellow student body."
"Well, I think that's all my questions. One last thing, though."
"What is it?"
You stand from your chair and walk around the desk. Bob turns their chair around to face you, tilting their head in curiosity. You lean forward and wrap the ROB in a hug. Reluctantly, they return it.
"It's okay..." you say, patting their back. "You did wonderfully for your first client. I'm satisfied with my services."
Bob sighs in relief. "Thank you..."
-o-
As sunlight filters onto your face through the window, your eyes flutter open. You're... not in that white void anymore, and Bob's nowhere to be seen. Where are you?
A glance around the room finds you're in a bedroom. You're sitting on a bed and there's a closet, a dresser, a desk with a computer on it, a bookshelf, a vanity... Oh! You must've been reincarnated! And this must be your room!
A glance out the window and the architecture proves it... You're in Death City, Nevada.
Well, what should you do first? You need to get your bearings.
Reader Choice
[ ] Examine your memories. Who are you?
[ ] Examine your appearance. What do you look like?
[ ] Examine your room. What's your living arrangements like?
[ ] Whizz. You just woke up, and you gotta go!
[ ] Squee over how cute Bob was.
[ ] Write-in!
(
Spoken A/N: I swear Bob is Weasel's secret SI, but she refuses to admit it.
)