midnightmissiles
Princess of Memes, Shitposts, and Puns
Day 6 [2]
Roll needed: 30. Rolled: 109! (Critical Success!)
"Guys, looks like a bunch of taurens on a raid. Are there purposefully bad taurens?" You wonder as you hold your soft paw to your ear.
After a moment, Gigi asked, "Should we approach or find a place to fire from range? I think Cevy can start bombarding from two hundred feet away."
Cevy can be heard in the background, mumbling, "Bad beef?"
"Approach, we'll need to do this with shock and awe. Also, if you hit from a far, it means not utilizing your instant spells." You add. It's rather important, since spells like Frost Nova, which freezes enemies in place, and Arcane Explosion, which hits everything like a grenade, are short ranged Area of Effect spells that affect only a small distance around the mage. "Meanwhile, I'll ask if anyone's nearby. Looks like they have prisoners."
[1. General] [Elsaina Truestar] LFM Dustwallow cow raid
[1. General] [NuckChorris] Your mom's a cow raid
[1. General] [Stabby] Mankirk's mom is a cow raid
[1. General] [EightDots] People actually get off their asses and walk around?!
[1. General] [Elsaina Truestar] Yeh, some cow called grimtotem took some prisoners LFM
[1. General] [EightDots] sounds sweet, i was just killing crocs... this can't be much worse
[1. General] [EightDots] how many?
[1. General] [Elsaina Truestar] like fidy, all above level fidy
[1. General] [EightDots] aight.. I'll bring my crew
[1. General] [EightDots] got cords?
[1. General] [Elsaina Truestar] Cords?
[1. General] [EightDots] yeah. coordinates cordi cordani... fuck it, you know, that x, y thing.
[1. General] [Elsaina Truestar] I didn't know add-ons worked...
[1. General] [EightDots] nah, they don't, but some gnome dude was all hopped up saying he figured out a new profession inscribing and can add cords to maps. was making mad dough
[1. General] [EightDots] whatevs, where at?
[1. General] [Elsaina Truestar] About 2 hours west of theramore isle on an epic mount. They've got a bon fire going.
[1. General] [Stabby] Oh hey, that's like thirty minutes away. So that's what that was... Alright, I'm coming too.
[1. General] [Elsaina Truestar] You'll have to hurry. They look like they're wondering if players taste good.
[1. General] [Stabby] That's fucked up.
[1. General] [EightDots] We're actually closer... I guess we never looked up at the smoke. Seeya in five.
[1. General] [EightDots] HOOO!!
The player EightDots <Thundercats> 60 Druid, arrives with a group of four druids. He is a part of a small guild on the server that is almost completely night elf druids, with about fifteen or so members. There are at least a dozen of these guilds in Theramore Isle alone, and hundreds more throughout the World of Warcraft. EightDots is wielding an [Arcanite Reaper], which used to be impossible for druids, but no longer, it seemed.
The good thing was that some of them were dressed in good gear--what looked like rogue gear--but the bad thing was they were all cats. It is known that druids are only good for healing, after all.
"What's with the cats?" Cevy perks up perkily.
A tall and dark male night elf turns back into his humanoid form and answers, "It's a cat pun thing. Now where... holy shit there's a lot of them."
"It's actually a good thing you showed up," You motion for them to close in so that it is less likely you are found out. "They are getting ready to serve Adventurer."
"Oh, wow!" EightDots gives you a high-five. "Puns are great."
"Puns are great," You nod in agreement.
With that decided, and with Cevy groaning behind you, you carry out the plan.
It goes smoothly... too smoothly.
The Grimtotem Harbinger is turned into a sheep, causing the tauren to charge in mass. They run after Cevy, who 'eep's softly before jumping on her mechanostrider, yelling curses and all sorts of terrible, unrepeatable things that no one ought to do to a lady. Terrible, just terrible. Perhaps it was a change of the scenery, but spells that crowd control like Polymorph are no longer breakable, unless properly dispelled.
As it turns out, the Grimtotem going on a murderous rampage does more than just form a stampede of cattle. They charge with one of the higher level tauren in front, in the shape of a V, making it almost too easy for six kitties to strike from the shadows and pick them off with a two-pronged pincer maneuver.
Apparently the tauren innate skill of running faster than any other race was buffed since the translocation, and they were smart enough to notice that half their numbers were picked off. It didn't take much; around six swipes from you or three from the other druids were enough to pick most of them off this way. But the remaining thirty huddled up into a tight group, charging after Cevy, only to crash into Gigi.
Ashbringer fed well that day. Against sentient creatures like tauren, it literally seemed to be drinking their souls, before turning the cows into ash.
Of course, only spare things like gold and steel remained, diminishing the amount of loot, but it was on the back of your mind at the time.
Yes, it went almost too well, you thought to yourself as you gutted the remaining, rooted few tauren struggling for dear life... until you heard a gutteral voice speaking in broken English, "You! You are Alliance Adventurers!"
You turn, and see that the Grimtotem Harbinger had broken the Polymorph at last. He stands too far away to root down too.
"The Warchief will hear of this! Grima will hear of this! There shall be war and Theramore will be wiped out!" With that, the cowardly Grimtotem turned tail and ran in the opposite direction, where none of your group lay.
[ ] Chase after Arnak Grimtotem! Lead the group! Roll needed: 30.
[ ] Coordinate the chase from the camp. Roll needed: 60.
[ ] You're the only healer, stay with captives! Roll needed: 90.
Roll needed: 30. Rolled: 109! (Critical Success!)
"Guys, looks like a bunch of taurens on a raid. Are there purposefully bad taurens?" You wonder as you hold your soft paw to your ear.
After a moment, Gigi asked, "Should we approach or find a place to fire from range? I think Cevy can start bombarding from two hundred feet away."
Cevy can be heard in the background, mumbling, "Bad beef?"
"Approach, we'll need to do this with shock and awe. Also, if you hit from a far, it means not utilizing your instant spells." You add. It's rather important, since spells like Frost Nova, which freezes enemies in place, and Arcane Explosion, which hits everything like a grenade, are short ranged Area of Effect spells that affect only a small distance around the mage. "Meanwhile, I'll ask if anyone's nearby. Looks like they have prisoners."
[1. General] [Elsaina Truestar] LFM Dustwallow cow raid
[1. General] [NuckChorris] Your mom's a cow raid
[1. General] [Stabby] Mankirk's mom is a cow raid
[1. General] [EightDots] People actually get off their asses and walk around?!
[1. General] [Elsaina Truestar] Yeh, some cow called grimtotem took some prisoners LFM
[1. General] [EightDots] sounds sweet, i was just killing crocs... this can't be much worse
[1. General] [EightDots] how many?
[1. General] [Elsaina Truestar] like fidy, all above level fidy
[1. General] [EightDots] aight.. I'll bring my crew
[1. General] [EightDots] got cords?
[1. General] [Elsaina Truestar] Cords?
[1. General] [EightDots] yeah. coordinates cordi cordani... fuck it, you know, that x, y thing.
[1. General] [Elsaina Truestar] I didn't know add-ons worked...
[1. General] [EightDots] nah, they don't, but some gnome dude was all hopped up saying he figured out a new profession inscribing and can add cords to maps. was making mad dough
[1. General] [EightDots] whatevs, where at?
[1. General] [Elsaina Truestar] About 2 hours west of theramore isle on an epic mount. They've got a bon fire going.
[1. General] [Stabby] Oh hey, that's like thirty minutes away. So that's what that was... Alright, I'm coming too.
[1. General] [Elsaina Truestar] You'll have to hurry. They look like they're wondering if players taste good.
[1. General] [Stabby] That's fucked up.
[1. General] [EightDots] We're actually closer... I guess we never looked up at the smoke. Seeya in five.
[1. General] [EightDots] HOOO!!
The player EightDots <Thundercats> 60 Druid, arrives with a group of four druids. He is a part of a small guild on the server that is almost completely night elf druids, with about fifteen or so members. There are at least a dozen of these guilds in Theramore Isle alone, and hundreds more throughout the World of Warcraft. EightDots is wielding an [Arcanite Reaper], which used to be impossible for druids, but no longer, it seemed.
The good thing was that some of them were dressed in good gear--what looked like rogue gear--but the bad thing was they were all cats. It is known that druids are only good for healing, after all.
"What's with the cats?" Cevy perks up perkily.
A tall and dark male night elf turns back into his humanoid form and answers, "It's a cat pun thing. Now where... holy shit there's a lot of them."
"It's actually a good thing you showed up," You motion for them to close in so that it is less likely you are found out. "They are getting ready to serve Adventurer."
"Oh, wow!" EightDots gives you a high-five. "Puns are great."
"Puns are great," You nod in agreement.
With that decided, and with Cevy groaning behind you, you carry out the plan.
It goes smoothly... too smoothly.
The Grimtotem Harbinger is turned into a sheep, causing the tauren to charge in mass. They run after Cevy, who 'eep's softly before jumping on her mechanostrider, yelling curses and all sorts of terrible, unrepeatable things that no one ought to do to a lady. Terrible, just terrible. Perhaps it was a change of the scenery, but spells that crowd control like Polymorph are no longer breakable, unless properly dispelled.
As it turns out, the Grimtotem going on a murderous rampage does more than just form a stampede of cattle. They charge with one of the higher level tauren in front, in the shape of a V, making it almost too easy for six kitties to strike from the shadows and pick them off with a two-pronged pincer maneuver.
Apparently the tauren innate skill of running faster than any other race was buffed since the translocation, and they were smart enough to notice that half their numbers were picked off. It didn't take much; around six swipes from you or three from the other druids were enough to pick most of them off this way. But the remaining thirty huddled up into a tight group, charging after Cevy, only to crash into Gigi.
Ashbringer fed well that day. Against sentient creatures like tauren, it literally seemed to be drinking their souls, before turning the cows into ash.
Of course, only spare things like gold and steel remained, diminishing the amount of loot, but it was on the back of your mind at the time.
Yes, it went almost too well, you thought to yourself as you gutted the remaining, rooted few tauren struggling for dear life... until you heard a gutteral voice speaking in broken English, "You! You are Alliance Adventurers!"
You turn, and see that the Grimtotem Harbinger had broken the Polymorph at last. He stands too far away to root down too.
"The Warchief will hear of this! Grima will hear of this! There shall be war and Theramore will be wiped out!" With that, the cowardly Grimtotem turned tail and ran in the opposite direction, where none of your group lay.
[ ] Chase after Arnak Grimtotem! Lead the group! Roll needed: 30.
[ ] Coordinate the chase from the camp. Roll needed: 60.
[ ] You're the only healer, stay with captives! Roll needed: 90.
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