- Location
- Singapore
How so? Improved descriptions? More information? Better flow?
Twilight of Divinity (Exalted X Campione)
- Thread starter Accelerator
- Start date
- Location
- Canada
More tension because their safety was at stake... and Sophie had to succeed. The Pacing was faster too.
- Location
- Singapore
Ah, thank you. I always want to improve the fight scenes.
I'm not a writer so I can't give you specific advice but I can suggest an example called cast in gold a fanfiction crossover of Evangelion and exalted where Shinji becomes a solar exalted and his very existence in this universe causes an alteration to the metaphysics and physics of that universe. Aside from that it has huge mental ramifications for Shinji that alter his life and the people around him it's a really good example of how to make really compelling story at least for me others might disagree plus it might give you some inspiration.
Last edited:
- Location
- Singapore
I... apologise. But I am currently busy.
Reading fanfiction seems to exhaust me for some reason. When you said mental ramifications, what do you mean?
The original Canon work of Evangelion is a very heavy conceptual work basically there's a lot of mental stuff you have to think about in relation to the series. He's exaltations doesn't just give him superpowers it basically upgrades him mentally and physically and allows him to start all turning things around him and do them better like you sort of done but he's also a very screwed-up individual due to past history stuff so he has to learn how to deal with that and super powers and the great curse that comes with all of exalted mantels the one that was placed on them by the primordial beings aka the Titans when they were defeated by the exalted. Basically during the course of the story he goes crazy several times when different stress points get pushed until he just kind of snaps and then he has to deal with the ramifications of that and with everyone's ramifications of what he could do with his power if he ever lost it or if you just want plain evil it's a pretty interesting story.
- Location
- Singapore
Hmph. Maybe I'll read it...
Ok. I need a beta reader. Or at least someone to talk to on this fic. Who's up?
Ok. I need a beta reader. Or at least someone to talk to on this fic. Who's up?
- Location
- Singapore
I got a beta reader, and there's a new version of the first chapter. Opinions?
He ran, past the bodies of his comrades. Past the rivers of blood. Past the corpses of primordial devas. Past the shredded lumps of meat and obsidian glass. The battle here had been bloody and grinding, his genius in warfare clashing against the inhuman intelligence and eon long experience of the opposing general. He himself had killed so many that his once golden blade was covered in rainbow blood. Yes, rainbow. Damned devas didn't even have the courtesy of having honest, red, blood.
The enemies had routed when he had managed to kill the enemy commander, and he had sent his forces to chase down and kill them. He himself had stayed behind, several consecutive battles back to back over the course of 5 days having exhausted him. The enemy was in a rout. His soldiers would be handle them and force them back to their fortress.
Sadly, it had all been for nought.
It seemed that he had attracted too much attention, and now was going to pay the price. Beside and above him, appeared a monstrous dragon with seven wings.
Warp fire appeared on the skin of the abomination, and leapt at him. He raised his sword, trying to block it. But he was just so, so, tired. He had not rested for days, fighting non-stop to break the enemy army; and now he was going to pay the price. The fire touched his hand, and spread to the rest of his body. For a moment Lance of the Sun was covered in fire. And then he was gone.
The primordial Oramus continued onwards to the outer reaches of the wyld, unaware of the solar hero general he had just destroyed.
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Lance of the Sun was thrown in the space between worlds, between timelines. There were Exalts that could survive anywhere, even in the darkness outside existence. Lance of the Sun, however, was not one of those. Thankfully, he died quickly, and mostly painlessly, the damage to his body leaving him mostly unconscious.
Set free, the Solar exaltation emerged from his soul, and began to travel. It was indestructible. Irreducible. But it could not find a way back to Creation. Oramus attack was thorough. It began to travel through the darkness. Whether for seconds, whether for centuries or millenia, until it found a rent in the World. Dropping through it, it found a place where gods walked the earth. Where devil kings ruled with an iron fist. Where mages, cults, divine ancestors, and behemoths wandered the world. Where, of course, heroes appeared in all places.
The shard went to work, searching for an appopriate host.
Aaron groaned in annoyance as he walked on the road, through the forest. He hated walking in nature. Why couldn't he have simply stayed in home and played games all day? Oh, yes. Family.
Apparently, his aunt, a rather forgetful person, had left her hat on the trail, when she had taken it off to get a better picture of a squirrel. Her being a rather ditzy person, had left it on a fallen log, and had continued on her hike, leaving it there. Only when she had reached her home, did she remember.
And now he had to get it. And it was in the farthest possible point from the roads. This was going to take awhile…..
Until he heard a scream from his right. He froze. What should he do? There was no reception, and so no way to call for help. If he went for help, he might be too late. But if it was dangerous.....
Sure, he had taken some fencing in school - fat lot of good that did without an epee - and he knew how to throw a punch, but that was it. He'd never been in any real fights.He had no true combat experience.
Another scream. And again, another dull growl from his right. Deciding that this was no time to freeze up, he ran to the direction of the commotion. Brushing past the trees and bushes, he rushed without thinking of how he might fight off whatever animal was roaring.
He reached the clearing, and instantly regretted his actions.
It was a monster. There was no other word for it. A monster, larger than anything Aaron had ever seen before, a mass of pustulent, liquid flesh, its misshapen form speckled with eyes squirming and shifting about in its bulk seething, twisted body far too many outstretched fangs, claws, pincers and spiked tentacles. The beast was gargantuan, nearly the size of a bus, and it stunk, its horrific form oozing out a putrid, disgusting smell filling the clearing. One of its claws was stained red, blood dropping onto the forest floor. While another claw was raised up, poised to strike its prey.
In front of the it, was a girl lying on the grass, a sword by her side. Her leg was twisted at the wrong angle, an one of her arms hung limply by her side.
The girl caught his gaze. She was afraid, but she knew she was going to die. She didn't ask for help, didn't beg, didn't plead. She said one word. "Run." Aaron knew he should. He was just a high schooler who knew how to poke someone with a foil. This thing was massive. If he stayed here, he was going to die. He couldn't do anything for the girl. She'd told him to run.
He picked up a fallen branch, a pathetic weapon against something like this monster. He should run. He should run. The thought pounded in his head, over and over.
With an incoherent scream of fear and anger, Aaron ran, charging right at the beast. Several of its eyes now focused on the tiny scrap of meat rushing at it and the clawed hand it had raised to strike down its prey moved to skewer the interloper, its eyes burning in the light of the dawn...
He ran, past the bodies of his comrades. Past the rivers of blood. Past the corpses of primordial devas. Past the shredded lumps of meat and obsidian glass. The battle here had been bloody and grinding, his genius in warfare clashing against the inhuman intelligence and eon long experience of the opposing general. He himself had killed so many that his once golden blade was covered in rainbow blood. Yes, rainbow. Damned devas didn't even have the courtesy of having honest, red, blood.
The enemies had routed when he had managed to kill the enemy commander, and he had sent his forces to chase down and kill them. He himself had stayed behind, several consecutive battles back to back over the course of 5 days having exhausted him. The enemy was in a rout. His soldiers would be handle them and force them back to their fortress.
Sadly, it had all been for nought.
It seemed that he had attracted too much attention, and now was going to pay the price. Beside and above him, appeared a monstrous dragon with seven wings.
Warp fire appeared on the skin of the abomination, and leapt at him. He raised his sword, trying to block it. But he was just so, so, tired. He had not rested for days, fighting non-stop to break the enemy army; and now he was going to pay the price. The fire touched his hand, and spread to the rest of his body. For a moment Lance of the Sun was covered in fire. And then he was gone.
The primordial Oramus continued onwards to the outer reaches of the wyld, unaware of the solar hero general he had just destroyed.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lance of the Sun was thrown in the space between worlds, between timelines. There were Exalts that could survive anywhere, even in the darkness outside existence. Lance of the Sun, however, was not one of those. Thankfully, he died quickly, and mostly painlessly, the damage to his body leaving him mostly unconscious.
Set free, the Solar exaltation emerged from his soul, and began to travel. It was indestructible. Irreducible. But it could not find a way back to Creation. Oramus attack was thorough. It began to travel through the darkness. Whether for seconds, whether for centuries or millenia, until it found a rent in the World. Dropping through it, it found a place where gods walked the earth. Where devil kings ruled with an iron fist. Where mages, cults, divine ancestors, and behemoths wandered the world. Where, of course, heroes appeared in all places.
The shard went to work, searching for an appopriate host.
Aaron groaned in annoyance as he walked on the road, through the forest. He hated walking in nature. Why couldn't he have simply stayed in home and played games all day? Oh, yes. Family.
Apparently, his aunt, a rather forgetful person, had left her hat on the trail, when she had taken it off to get a better picture of a squirrel. Her being a rather ditzy person, had left it on a fallen log, and had continued on her hike, leaving it there. Only when she had reached her home, did she remember.
And now he had to get it. And it was in the farthest possible point from the roads. This was going to take awhile…..
Until he heard a scream from his right. He froze. What should he do? There was no reception, and so no way to call for help. If he went for help, he might be too late. But if it was dangerous.....
Sure, he had taken some fencing in school - fat lot of good that did without an epee - and he knew how to throw a punch, but that was it. He'd never been in any real fights.He had no true combat experience.
Another scream. And again, another dull growl from his right. Deciding that this was no time to freeze up, he ran to the direction of the commotion. Brushing past the trees and bushes, he rushed without thinking of how he might fight off whatever animal was roaring.
He reached the clearing, and instantly regretted his actions.
It was a monster. There was no other word for it. A monster, larger than anything Aaron had ever seen before, a mass of pustulent, liquid flesh, its misshapen form speckled with eyes squirming and shifting about in its bulk seething, twisted body far too many outstretched fangs, claws, pincers and spiked tentacles. The beast was gargantuan, nearly the size of a bus, and it stunk, its horrific form oozing out a putrid, disgusting smell filling the clearing. One of its claws was stained red, blood dropping onto the forest floor. While another claw was raised up, poised to strike its prey.
In front of the it, was a girl lying on the grass, a sword by her side. Her leg was twisted at the wrong angle, an one of her arms hung limply by her side.
The girl caught his gaze. She was afraid, but she knew she was going to die. She didn't ask for help, didn't beg, didn't plead. She said one word. "Run." Aaron knew he should. He was just a high schooler who knew how to poke someone with a foil. This thing was massive. If he stayed here, he was going to die. He couldn't do anything for the girl. She'd told him to run.
He picked up a fallen branch, a pathetic weapon against something like this monster. He should run. He should run. The thought pounded in his head, over and over.
With an incoherent scream of fear and anger, Aaron ran, charging right at the beast. Several of its eyes now focused on the tiny scrap of meat rushing at it and the clawed hand it had raised to strike down its prey moved to skewer the interloper, its eyes burning in the light of the dawn...
WeylandSmith
Loose Cultivator
- Location
- [Global State]
I like it!
The only thing I would point out is that, to me, the transitions between events/scenes are a bit clunky. In the first one you use a line break, and after that you just use extra spacing.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
The only thing I would point out is that, to me, the transitions between events/scenes are a bit clunky. In the first one you use a line break, and after that you just use extra spacing.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
- Location
- Canada
Much better ch1. Make sure to replace your original with this new one. You'll pull in new readers better.
- Location
- Singapore
I just did.
- Location
- Canada
Fantastic news. I really liked the extra exalted lore in the beginning.
Chapter 9
- Location
- Singapore
Sophie had run down into the basement, and now Aaron had to hold the line.
A dozen beasts advanced, their claws sharp and keen, their maws dripping with acid. It dripped on the carpet, sending rivulets of steam up into the air.
He had to hold the line, he had no choice. The villagers had long since run, forewarned of the Primordial's army's advance. He had to buy them time so that they could be transported away. The devas attacking this time could only travel on foot. And this was the only pass that let them through. The rest were steep cliffs for miles around.
Standing behind a barricade of half-rotten logs and stones, The Lance of the Sun watched. The earth rumbled and clouds of dust were blown up as the Primordial army approached. He looked upon the sea of beasts, and picked up his bow. In a flash of movement, six arrows were loosed. Six arrows flew. And six arrows fell in the midst of the opposing army. And in the twilight, six new suns shone.
Six shots rang out. Six flares of light leapt across the room. Each struck between the eyes of six monsters. Five fell to the floor listless. The last one continued advancing, its movement unimpeded. Huh. Decentralized nervous system. Aim at centre of mass. Another shot fired out, and it dropped.
The rest were arriving now, and 4 more had dropped through the ceiling, the broken plaster staying in the air as white clouds, blocking his vision. From the cloud, six spikes of bone shot out. He parried them all, his sword shining in the lamplight. "This is bad, he thought." They could stay within the cloud and fire at him all day. With this, he had no idea what they were doing. Were they preparing for a surprise attack? A massed assault? A coordinated firing of projectiles? He had no idea. He strained his eyes. And saw them. There. A gap in their lines. Through the dust cloud.
Then he grinned. He could see them. But they couldn't see him.
The barricade had long since broken, and now he was in the midst of the primordial army. So many rushing feet, kicked up the dust around him. Unless he was straining his eyes, he could barely see farther than 2 feet. Not that he had the mental capacity to spare, considering that he had to fend off attacks from all 8 directions at the same time. His sword rose and fell, and with each stroke, two dozen monsters fell.
He leapt between them, and in two strokes, 4 of the beasts had died They were the reinforcements. Now he was between them, parrying and swinging, their coordinated attacks and simultaneous strikes helping them to no end. Moving his sword and arm purely by reflex, he warded them all off. With every dozen parries and blocks, he took a swing. And his foes fell, one by one, bisected. The last one stood there stupidly, as if not comprehending how it could have been left there standing alone.
With a flourish, he swung, and parted its head from its body.
There was silence. Only the sound of dripping blood and crumbling ceiling panels.
Then footsteps from the basement.
Aaron tensed, looking down in to the darkness. His eyes, looking deep within. His hands tightened over his gun and his sword. His feet shifted into a stance, ready to spring. If the Sophie had fallen, then Alexandra Dunos would not leave this house alive.
The footsteps became closer. Aaron shifted his posture forward… then relaxed as Sophie's strawberry blonde hair came into view. Her face was smiling, and she held a bloodied sword in her hand.
"I've won, Aaron. I've won." Aaron did not trust that voice. Something was wrong. "Sophie. Answer the question. What did we eat for dinner last night?" He readied his revolver by his side.
"Beef Lasagne and gelato. Why?"
Aaron looked away, vaguely ashamed of himself. Sophie laughed, a sound resembling silver bells. Aaron felt even more ashamed at that, for his foolish paranoia.
"It's alright, Aaron. No need to look so sad. Magic is often perilous and very versatile. Caution is always a good virtue to have. Now, chin up." Sophie's mood seemed to have lifted after her victory. Now she was literally glowing, every movement filled with confidence and happiness.
"Now, let's go search the rooms. Alexandra Dumos stole vast numbers of artifacts and relics from important personages all over Europe. I would like to see them. We could sell them back at a hefty price, or for favours."
"What kind of favours?" Asked Aaron. He had no idea how this 'politics' and 'social situation' thing worked.
"Oh, you know. Favours, favourable words at parties, lucrative business contracts, actual invitations to those parties, not being treated as social pariahs for angering and provoking a Devil King, actually getting access to services, being able to successfully sue and obtain back things we are due like patents and money we are owed and artifacts we have leant out. Those kind of things. And maybe even find our members who have scattered to the four winds." Sophie was rambling now, her voice becoming more and more incoherent. She caught herself, before she could continue further.
"Basically, these artifacts and relics can be extremely useful for me. Can you help me get them? It'll help me and my family a great deal." Aaron couldn't say no to that.
"Alright, then. Let's start."
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"Woah."
"Normally, I would disagree with such lack of dignity and poise. But yes, I agree with that word choice. Woah."
They stood in a room filled with tables and shelves, and filled to the brim were relics, artifacts, and items of power of all kinds. There were crowns, jewels, swords, staves, and such like. There were several books, all old and worn. "That is the Book called 'The Book in Praise of David's Great Works," Said Sophie, pointing to one. "And that is the shining spear, a relic made from the remnants of a dead war god. It is said to be an unstoppable lance which enhances the skill of any who wields it." She pointed to another grimoire. "That is the grimoire of Feruchemy. A book specialising in the creation of magical metals." And then she pointed to one more tome. "That is the Scripture of Sarkic. A heretical text from the Witenagemot. A book that teaches the advanced skills of fleshcrafting and fleshwarping. That will get us great goodwill and political influence.
"So… now what?" Asked Aaron, looking upon the loot. He looked upon several swords that he found a liking too. Maybe he could take a few? Would they mind? Maybe they could commission a pistol and a sword for him.
"We go to Rome."
A dozen beasts advanced, their claws sharp and keen, their maws dripping with acid. It dripped on the carpet, sending rivulets of steam up into the air.
He had to hold the line, he had no choice. The villagers had long since run, forewarned of the Primordial's army's advance. He had to buy them time so that they could be transported away. The devas attacking this time could only travel on foot. And this was the only pass that let them through. The rest were steep cliffs for miles around.
Standing behind a barricade of half-rotten logs and stones, The Lance of the Sun watched. The earth rumbled and clouds of dust were blown up as the Primordial army approached. He looked upon the sea of beasts, and picked up his bow. In a flash of movement, six arrows were loosed. Six arrows flew. And six arrows fell in the midst of the opposing army. And in the twilight, six new suns shone.
Six shots rang out. Six flares of light leapt across the room. Each struck between the eyes of six monsters. Five fell to the floor listless. The last one continued advancing, its movement unimpeded. Huh. Decentralized nervous system. Aim at centre of mass. Another shot fired out, and it dropped.
The rest were arriving now, and 4 more had dropped through the ceiling, the broken plaster staying in the air as white clouds, blocking his vision. From the cloud, six spikes of bone shot out. He parried them all, his sword shining in the lamplight. "This is bad, he thought." They could stay within the cloud and fire at him all day. With this, he had no idea what they were doing. Were they preparing for a surprise attack? A massed assault? A coordinated firing of projectiles? He had no idea. He strained his eyes. And saw them. There. A gap in their lines. Through the dust cloud.
Then he grinned. He could see them. But they couldn't see him.
The barricade had long since broken, and now he was in the midst of the primordial army. So many rushing feet, kicked up the dust around him. Unless he was straining his eyes, he could barely see farther than 2 feet. Not that he had the mental capacity to spare, considering that he had to fend off attacks from all 8 directions at the same time. His sword rose and fell, and with each stroke, two dozen monsters fell.
He leapt between them, and in two strokes, 4 of the beasts had died They were the reinforcements. Now he was between them, parrying and swinging, their coordinated attacks and simultaneous strikes helping them to no end. Moving his sword and arm purely by reflex, he warded them all off. With every dozen parries and blocks, he took a swing. And his foes fell, one by one, bisected. The last one stood there stupidly, as if not comprehending how it could have been left there standing alone.
With a flourish, he swung, and parted its head from its body.
There was silence. Only the sound of dripping blood and crumbling ceiling panels.
Then footsteps from the basement.
Aaron tensed, looking down in to the darkness. His eyes, looking deep within. His hands tightened over his gun and his sword. His feet shifted into a stance, ready to spring. If the Sophie had fallen, then Alexandra Dunos would not leave this house alive.
The footsteps became closer. Aaron shifted his posture forward… then relaxed as Sophie's strawberry blonde hair came into view. Her face was smiling, and she held a bloodied sword in her hand.
"I've won, Aaron. I've won." Aaron did not trust that voice. Something was wrong. "Sophie. Answer the question. What did we eat for dinner last night?" He readied his revolver by his side.
"Beef Lasagne and gelato. Why?"
Aaron looked away, vaguely ashamed of himself. Sophie laughed, a sound resembling silver bells. Aaron felt even more ashamed at that, for his foolish paranoia.
"It's alright, Aaron. No need to look so sad. Magic is often perilous and very versatile. Caution is always a good virtue to have. Now, chin up." Sophie's mood seemed to have lifted after her victory. Now she was literally glowing, every movement filled with confidence and happiness.
"Now, let's go search the rooms. Alexandra Dumos stole vast numbers of artifacts and relics from important personages all over Europe. I would like to see them. We could sell them back at a hefty price, or for favours."
"What kind of favours?" Asked Aaron. He had no idea how this 'politics' and 'social situation' thing worked.
"Oh, you know. Favours, favourable words at parties, lucrative business contracts, actual invitations to those parties, not being treated as social pariahs for angering and provoking a Devil King, actually getting access to services, being able to successfully sue and obtain back things we are due like patents and money we are owed and artifacts we have leant out. Those kind of things. And maybe even find our members who have scattered to the four winds." Sophie was rambling now, her voice becoming more and more incoherent. She caught herself, before she could continue further.
"Basically, these artifacts and relics can be extremely useful for me. Can you help me get them? It'll help me and my family a great deal." Aaron couldn't say no to that.
"Alright, then. Let's start."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Woah."
"Normally, I would disagree with such lack of dignity and poise. But yes, I agree with that word choice. Woah."
They stood in a room filled with tables and shelves, and filled to the brim were relics, artifacts, and items of power of all kinds. There were crowns, jewels, swords, staves, and such like. There were several books, all old and worn. "That is the Book called 'The Book in Praise of David's Great Works," Said Sophie, pointing to one. "And that is the shining spear, a relic made from the remnants of a dead war god. It is said to be an unstoppable lance which enhances the skill of any who wields it." She pointed to another grimoire. "That is the grimoire of Feruchemy. A book specialising in the creation of magical metals." And then she pointed to one more tome. "That is the Scripture of Sarkic. A heretical text from the Witenagemot. A book that teaches the advanced skills of fleshcrafting and fleshwarping. That will get us great goodwill and political influence.
"So… now what?" Asked Aaron, looking upon the loot. He looked upon several swords that he found a liking too. Maybe he could take a few? Would they mind? Maybe they could commission a pistol and a sword for him.
"We go to Rome."
- Location
- Singapore
Um.... any reviews?
As for general reviews it's kind of hard to give a good review since there's not a lot of story here and by good I don't mean good is in rating its quality just as in giving it any kind of rating at all I mean I like what I've seen so far but you need to improve this thing where you have him speak his words or his inner thoughts out loud for no reason.
Other than that I think maybe you know how long with these little flashback maybe explore his power of the exalted mantle I mean I know he's new to it and we haven't really had it in actual time for very long but it seems like it would be something that comes up like I spontaneously developed these powers but I guess they've put that down to I have a supernatural ancestor. Will he explore more about his power later on and where it came from that's the fun of exalted is the grandiose story that comes from the power.
Other than that I think maybe you know how long with these little flashback maybe explore his power of the exalted mantle I mean I know he's new to it and we haven't really had it in actual time for very long but it seems like it would be something that comes up like I spontaneously developed these powers but I guess they've put that down to I have a supernatural ancestor. Will he explore more about his power later on and where it came from that's the fun of exalted is the grandiose story that comes from the power.
- Location
- Singapore
True.
Hmm... maybe I should put in a small interlude?
Hmm... maybe I should put in a small interlude?
- Location
- Singapore
Gah. Basically, the mage hunt arc is done. This was the wrap up.
What should I do next?
What should I do next?
- Location
- Singapore
Oh God. And idea for Godou vs Aaron.
Godou tensed. He had run out of authorities. The camel made him more durable and kicks stronger, but Aaron's skill nullified his attacks and seemed to enhance his strikes to make his durability useless. The bull did not work for this opponent, as he had only demonstrated superhuman skill, and no superhuman strength. The boar had been destroyed in a single hit. Godou did not know why Aaron did not use such a strike again, but he did not want to test it. The Raptor would make him faster, but attacks made by the raptor often missed. Aaron had no legend and no myth, so he could not use the Warrior. That left the Goat, the Warrior, the Gale, and the White Stallion. And not everyone wanted to see Aaron win. Some came to watch. Some came to see Godou lose. The conflicting feelings precluded the Goat.
The only offensive authority left was the White Stallion. But Aaron wasn't a great sinner. Quite the opposite. But Kusanagi Godou on the other hand...
On the other hand, would be targeted by the White Stallion. And would be incinerated by it, alongside his surroundings.
Godou took a stance, and Aaron readied himself. His sword was in his right hand, his posture smooth and relaxed. Godou knew that was a sham. He could defend himself against any attack from any direction with near flawless skill. If he attacked recklessly now, he would be impaled without mercy, and probably collapse. Not even the Camel would survive that kind of strike.
Good.
Godou lowered himself and kicked off, his authority enhanced legs propelling him at speeds far beyond human. Aaron reacted with sublime skill, as he always had. His sword reached out, its shining edge glowing in the dusk... and pierced Godou's flesh, the increased durability from his authority offering no protection as the magical sword punched through his organs and out through his back. For a moment, Godou stayed there, impaled through his chest. Then he grabbed hold of the magical power of his authority, flooding his body with it. His mind cleared. The pain receded. And his body, despite the pain, could move again.
He shrugged his body, breaking Aaron's grip on his sword. In shock and surprise at unexpectedly scoring a critical strike on his opponent, Aaron was taken by surprise at the fact he was still moving. The sword's hilt left his hand, and at that moment, Godou lunged forward, smashing Aaron into the ground, using his enhanced leg strength and arms to pin him there. He had to make sure he didn't run away. Aaron's fists lighted up, and he began to pummel Godou's back. But he refused to let go. He couldn't let go. Not until this last attack.
"For victory, hasten forth before me! O Immortal Sun, I beseech thee to grant radiance to the stallion. O Stallion that moveth godlike with wondrous grace, bringest forth the halo of thy master!"
The words were spoken.
Evening had come, and the sun was at the horizon. At the East, a new sun rose, and a spear of light sprang forth. A shaft of white hot fire, capable of smashing apart sinners and turn stone and rock into ash. A strike of retribution and justice, aimed at great sinners that have caused grave suffering for the people. As the fires of the sun rippled through the atmosphere, it descended downwards into the courtyard where the duo was fighting. Aimed directly at the only great sinner there. Kusanagi Godou.
The power of the Stallion followed his orders, and was focused on him and his immediate surroundings. Aaron's fighting became frantic, but he held on. The heat was suffocating, and as the Stallion approached, things began to burn. First was the grass drying up, water becoming steam, and mist rising from it. Then when the water was gone, the grass turned brown, and burst into flame. The rocky ground beneath them began to glow red-hot. Godou began to pant as his body felt like it was on fire, and sweat dripped off his forehead as his body desperately tried to cool down. His head felt like it was about to burst apart. Then the main body of the Stallion hit, and it became a thousand times worse.
Godou tried not to, but he screamed. He screamed as his sweat vaporized from his skin, flash-boiled into water vapour. His hair was singed, and burned away. And then when sweat and hair was gone, his flesh began to go. At first, it turned red, then it began to melt. He looked at his arms. The flesh and skin upon them began to bubble, and then they began to run down in rivulets. Beneath him Aaron was screaming. His golden glow seemingly warding off the heat... and then it failed, and the heat struck him, charring his skin black.
As Godou lost consciousness... the last thing he saw was a Ram.
Defeat. The duel between Kusanagi Godou, Campione, Devil King of Japan, and Aaron Bianchi, Bronze Tiger, Sword of Heaven, Dawn Caste Solar Exalted of the Unconquered Sun, resulted in mutual defeat.
The only offensive authority left was the White Stallion. But Aaron wasn't a great sinner. Quite the opposite. But Kusanagi Godou on the other hand...
On the other hand, would be targeted by the White Stallion. And would be incinerated by it, alongside his surroundings.
Godou took a stance, and Aaron readied himself. His sword was in his right hand, his posture smooth and relaxed. Godou knew that was a sham. He could defend himself against any attack from any direction with near flawless skill. If he attacked recklessly now, he would be impaled without mercy, and probably collapse. Not even the Camel would survive that kind of strike.
Good.
Godou lowered himself and kicked off, his authority enhanced legs propelling him at speeds far beyond human. Aaron reacted with sublime skill, as he always had. His sword reached out, its shining edge glowing in the dusk... and pierced Godou's flesh, the increased durability from his authority offering no protection as the magical sword punched through his organs and out through his back. For a moment, Godou stayed there, impaled through his chest. Then he grabbed hold of the magical power of his authority, flooding his body with it. His mind cleared. The pain receded. And his body, despite the pain, could move again.
He shrugged his body, breaking Aaron's grip on his sword. In shock and surprise at unexpectedly scoring a critical strike on his opponent, Aaron was taken by surprise at the fact he was still moving. The sword's hilt left his hand, and at that moment, Godou lunged forward, smashing Aaron into the ground, using his enhanced leg strength and arms to pin him there. He had to make sure he didn't run away. Aaron's fists lighted up, and he began to pummel Godou's back. But he refused to let go. He couldn't let go. Not until this last attack.
"For victory, hasten forth before me! O Immortal Sun, I beseech thee to grant radiance to the stallion. O Stallion that moveth godlike with wondrous grace, bringest forth the halo of thy master!"
The words were spoken.
Evening had come, and the sun was at the horizon. At the East, a new sun rose, and a spear of light sprang forth. A shaft of white hot fire, capable of smashing apart sinners and turn stone and rock into ash. A strike of retribution and justice, aimed at great sinners that have caused grave suffering for the people. As the fires of the sun rippled through the atmosphere, it descended downwards into the courtyard where the duo was fighting. Aimed directly at the only great sinner there. Kusanagi Godou.
The power of the Stallion followed his orders, and was focused on him and his immediate surroundings. Aaron's fighting became frantic, but he held on. The heat was suffocating, and as the Stallion approached, things began to burn. First was the grass drying up, water becoming steam, and mist rising from it. Then when the water was gone, the grass turned brown, and burst into flame. The rocky ground beneath them began to glow red-hot. Godou began to pant as his body felt like it was on fire, and sweat dripped off his forehead as his body desperately tried to cool down. His head felt like it was about to burst apart. Then the main body of the Stallion hit, and it became a thousand times worse.
Godou tried not to, but he screamed. He screamed as his sweat vaporized from his skin, flash-boiled into water vapour. His hair was singed, and burned away. And then when sweat and hair was gone, his flesh began to go. At first, it turned red, then it began to melt. He looked at his arms. The flesh and skin upon them began to bubble, and then they began to run down in rivulets. Beneath him Aaron was screaming. His golden glow seemingly warding off the heat... and then it failed, and the heat struck him, charring his skin black.
As Godou lost consciousness... the last thing he saw was a Ram.
Defeat. The duel between Kusanagi Godou, Campione, Devil King of Japan, and Aaron Bianchi, Bronze Tiger, Sword of Heaven, Dawn Caste Solar Exalted of the Unconquered Sun, resulted in mutual defeat.