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Ghost in the Shell Stand Alone Complex S1E13: Not Equal
At long last, we return to the dissonantly upbeat cyberpunk-ish world of Major Kusanagi and her colleagues in Section 9. This is the second of the two episodes commissioned by @toxinvictory. It's quite a jump from the pilot to episode 13, but from what I understand this show draws an X Files-like distinction between myth arc ("complex") and self contained ("stand alone") episodes, the latter of which can be watched in more or less any order. So, let's suffer through the terrible CGI intro and check episode 13 out!


The episode opens in Section 9 commander Aramaki's office, where he's showing Kusanagi and her team some surveillance photos. Hidden within the crowd is a woman they both recognize as Aka Tokura, the daughter of an electronics tycoon who was captured by terrorists sixteen years ago. She doesn't appear to have aged much since then, but that's because she was one of the world's first nearly-full-body-replacement cyborgs. Apparently, her father's company was a pioneer in human cybernetics technology, and she underwent the process mostly just to promote their products.


She doesn't look all that happy about it, does she? Dad is seeming like a really nice guy.

Aka's highly publicized transformation brought her to the attention of a terror organization called the New World Brigade, who are apparently the local branch of a global network called the Human Liberation Front. Those names don't tell me that much about their ideology, but the phrases "new world" and "human liberation" suggests some sort of anti-traditionalist left wing type deal. Or not; it could be like the National Socialist German Workers' Party putting a bunch of contradictory buzzwords in their name to confuse people (yes, the Nazis actually named themselves like that on purpose). At any rate, the NWB captured Aka shortly after her reconstruction. The authorities raided many of their safehouses, but couldn't find the girl. Years based, and the case remained unsolved. Now, this photo of Aka was taken aboard a ship not far off the coast of Japan, and she appears to be alive, intact, and just sort of blending in with the other passengers.

Well, all the pieces have been set up for Aka to have run away and joined the NWB willingly, while pretending it was a kidnapping in the hopes of getting ransom money or sending a scary message out or whatever. I doubt SAC is going to be quite that predictable, though.

Ah, okay now, Aramaki just added some more key information. This wasn't just a shipboard security camera that happened to catch her in a crowd. The ship is a decommissioned environmental cleanup vessel that's fallen into NWB hands. Those aren't passengers in the photo, they're terrorists. Another agency was investigating this cell, and managed to take these photos from aboard the floating base and also obtain DNA evidence confirming that it's Aka. Not sure how they could have gotten a DNA sample. Maybe there was a condom laying around.

That does raise the question of how much of her body is still flesh, of course. Maybe the parts of her that aren't synthetic just happen to have aged really, really well? I know I've met thirty-somethings who could pass for teenagers. Hell, I've been told I'm one of them.

Anyway, the reason Section 9 is getting involved now is because the other agency lost contact with its infiltration team just shortly after this data was transmitted. So far, Section 9's job seems to basically be playing troubleshooter for other government agencies, swooping in to recover operations that someone else has bungled. That definitely fits with the way we saw the other bigwigs regarding Aramaki back in the pilot, with that mixture of resentment and grudging respect. So, Kusanagi's team need to do their own infiltration now, and recover both the missing spies and Aka tokura herself if possible. Presumably, the NWB has a history of just blowing their own bases up or something instead of surrendering if raided overtly.

Also, I apparently misunderstood what was meant by "a radiation scrubber off the coast." It's a platform, not a ship.


Jump straight ahead to the infiltration. The team makes an aquatic entrance, coming up underneath the platform and climbing up through its seawater-cleaning machinery. Worth noting is that Kusanagi does apparently still need to breathe, as she's wearing a futuristic SCUBA mask just like the others. Dunno if that means that her lungs themselves are still organic, or if she just doesn't have any built in device that can respirate dissolved oxygen for the benefit of whatever fleshy bits she might still have.


Also, I really dig the platform interior. The artists did a great job capturing the look of a long unused geoengineering-scale machine. Got a real spooky industrial-gothic look to it.


Kusanagi and Co clear the machinery-filled lower level of the platform, and confirm that nobody's been down here in quite some time. Just as they hoped, the NWB seems to be content to inhabit the upper habitation and surface vessel docking levels. With Kusanagi's confirmation, a submarine captained by Aramaki himself pulls in and docks inside the platform's central intake cavity.


I didn't take Aramaki for the type to appear on the field in person. Then again, it's entirely possible that the terrorists can detect longranged communications (explaining how they caught the last team just after they sent that transmission), in which case Section 9 needs to bring its C&C hub with it on this op. Anyway, it's a pretty cool submarine. And, now that they're in, its sensors are detecting one of the first team member's transponders active near the top of the platform. Hopefully, that means that they're still alive. A small army of supplementary troops emerge from the sub, and Kusanagi and her squad begin leading the way upward. This force also includes some very large and heavily armed spider robots with the voices and personalities of young children.

Because...um...Aperture Science gave the Japanese government a discount offer or something, I guess?


Kawaiiderbot wants to blast through the bulkheads on their way up, and is childishly despondent when Kusanagi orders it to just lift itself and a few passengers up using its grappling hooks. Poor kawaiiderbot. As Kusanagi and the fully organic guy from the pilot whose name I can't remember ride the cutie upstairs, Meaty asks her if she thinks this might be an ambush. And yeah, this does seem kinda fishy, doesn't it? Only one transponder still active, but not responding to hails, at the very top of the station? An environment that forces Aramaki's forces to ascend more or less vertically, potentially leaving room for them to be cut off from their submarine (which would be very valuable for a terrorist organization to seize)? Yeah, this is either about to go really really well, or really really badly.

This topic leads to another question, about whether or not the person in that photo actually is Aka Tokura. It couldn't be a synthetic body designed to look like hers; as Kusanagi explains, the Human Liberation Front has zero tolerance for human cybernetics (guess they're not anti-traditionalist like I thought, then. More reactionary than anything else). Meaty suggests that they could have cloned her, which would explain both the identical appearance and the matching genetics. Kusanagi, understandably, has trouble parsing exactly why they would bother doing that, and he doesn't have a good answer. I kinda didn't think he would, honestly.


Cut to the platform's upper deck. The squatters seem to have set up an open air market of sorts for themselves, and two of the Section 9 members have changed into civvies and are somehow managing to blend in despite being followed by a shiny new government-standard kawaiiderbot. Which a stallkeeper offers to buy one of the arms of, in exchange for some collector's item turn-of-the-century electronics.


I guess this place isn't strictly a NWB base so much as an oceanic shantytown that they've just sort of insinuated themselves into. Sailors come here to do a bit of extralegal but not illegal trade in international waters, etc. So not everyone here is a member of the NWB, but many of them are likely sympathizers, and an unknown percentage are actual factual members.

Even so, these two are NOT doing a good job of not attracting attention. Even if cutesy murder robots really are something that just anyone could be walking around with, it isn't long before they start talking about the transponder signal they're chasing really loudly right in front of the not-remotely-suspicious-no-sirry electronics merchant. Le sigh. Somehow, miraculously, they manage to make it to the shack near the station's apex where the signal is coming from unimpeded.

I guess the rest of the forces are just waiting below deck for the signal, then? IDK. The cuts are getting kind of confusing, in terms of when things are happening in relation to each other. It SEEMED like Kusanagi, Meaty, and their kawaiiderbot were leading the ascent, but now these two are ahead of them doing recon I guess? IDK.

Inside the shack, they find what I assume is one of the original spy team members, sitting on the floor and trembling as he holds a pistol to his own head and repeats the words "erase them! get them out!" over and over again.


Has he been doing this for the entire two days or so since they lost contact, or only since Section 9 came within range? Spooky.

They disarm the guy for his own safety, and sedate him when he's unable to calm down. While under partial sedation, he's able to answer a few questions (the other three members of his team are dead, the terrorists are being led by "the woman" who may or may not be Aka, and she did...something...to him resulting in his current state). They aren't able to get much more, but a bag in his possession contains some women's bedroom and bathroom items, which leads them to suspect that he may have gotten closer to the cell leader than he let on, intentionally or otherwise. Before we cut away, we see that their very, very bad infiltration job has finally caught up to them, and an armed man is now watching them and sneaking up behind.

Back down in the grimy underdeck, Kusanagi, Meaty, and their own bot finally run into a patrolling militiaman. Kusanagi quickly subdues him, and asks where Aka Tokura is. The militant refuses to answer, instead just laughing at her. Kusanagi threatens to torture him, which I think is just a bluff, but is distracted by the sound of gunfire from the tower where we just saw the other two. She and Meaty are forced to break cover and rush upward to support their team, leaving their kawaiiderbot (which Kusanagi calls "Tachikoma") to guard the captive.

The sound doesn't lead them to exactly the same place, though, fortunately. Instead, Kusanagi and Meaty find a control room where two people - one of whom looks like Aka, but it's hard to tell in this lighting - are struggling over some object.


The other team members radio in to tell Kusanagi about the situation with the rambling rescuee, and they don't sound like they're under fire, so yeah that gunshot didn't come from the shack they're in. For now, they suspect that the surviving spy's neural cybernetics are infected with some kind of insanity-causing malware. Reasonable enough suspicion, for now. He also warns Kusanagi that he suspects "Aka" may have been the source of the infection, so she should think twice before attempting any sort of direct interface with her. Also reasonable.

And...oh, I'm an idiot. The gunshot they heard was when the survivor fired off his handgun, while they were grappling it out of his hand. Nevermind, no one's shot at anyone else yet, though of course Kusanagi had no way of knowing that. I guess this control room was just on the way to the source of the noise, then, and they luckily happened into this other scene? The location cuts in this episode continue to be not good.

Anyway, that is indeed Aka who's wrestling a bag of something out of one of her minion's hands. After succeeding, she gives this egotistical speech about how dare she try to abandon her, yada yada, until Kusanagi and Meaty use their personal cloaks to sneak up and disarm her. Kusanagi grabs Aka and looks at her neck port as she considers mindlinking with her despite the warnings, but she sees something there that makes her gasp in shock. Meanwhile, the other person who Aka was just abusing - an old woman - looks up at Meaty and tells him that "they've got the wrong girl."


At that moment though, the New World Brotherhood catches up to the two in the shack, and simultaneously sweep the lower level where they find the tachikoma guarding their captured brother. Both positions are now under heavy fire, and the rest of the Section 9 troops from down below are going loud in a frenzied counter-assault.

A surprisingly brutal firefight ensues, with high powered rounds and explosives practically tearing the platform apart from inside. The NWB warriors are singlemindedly, suicidally brave and ruthless, using the bodies of their own fallen brethren as shields without hesitation, throwing themselves at the enemy in waves regardless of casualties. Something seems seriously not right here. On a brighter note, apparently Tachikomas have an insulated cavity inside of their bodies for search and rescue operations, so that's cool; the other two team members use theirs to stash the babbling spy away for the fight. Tachikomas also seem to have some seriously impressive armor, as they shrug off multiple hits from bullets that are seen doing significant damage to the platform environment. Then again, the platform is a decades-old rustbucket that was already falling apart, so that might not be saying quite as much now that I think about it. The bloodbath continues until reinforcements arrive by air, which combined with attrition finally puts the NWB force on the back foot. Finally, Kusanagi and the rest of her squad are extracted with the old woman who claims to be Aka, the young girl who looks like Aka, and the maleware'd spy in custody. The conventional forces can presumably finish seizing the platform on their own after this point.


Also, during the ride home, young!Aka refers to old!Aka as her mother, which confuses everybody.

They get back to base at around sundown. Apparently, the rest of Section 9's tachikomas are excited to ask the ones that they brought about the mission, and it's a schoolyard bragging session right then and there. Seriously what kind of sick fuck gives a war robot the personality of a cheery six year old kid, what the hell? Are the tachikomas actually sentient? Well, on a more plot critical note, Fleshy comments on the thing that I'd just been thinking as well. Old!Aka is too old. While her "daughter" looks to be around the same age she was when she was captured, she herself looks a hell of a lot more than sixteen years older than that. They also suspect that the spy got his infection not from linking with young!Aka, but from the real older one, and that whatever caused her premature aging might be in its early stages with him. Definitely spooky. We still don't know what Kusanagi saw on the back of the young replica's neck, but I'm starting to suspect that the answer is "nothing." No USB port, unlike nearly all other cyborgs.

She definitely IS a cyborg of some kind, though. We saw her demonstrate some superhuman strength when they were dragging her into the aircraft. So yeah, whatever's going on here, the young copy of Aka isn't just a fully organic clone or whatever.

And...huh. Apparently that's the end. The episode closes on one of the other team members wondering what the hell actually happened here, and Kusanagi saying that the only way to find out for sure is by linking, which isn't exactly safe. And, we never even see what Kusanagi saw on the daughter's neck, so while I have my suspicion I'm really not sure.


That episode didn't turn out to be anywhere near as "stand alone" as I thought. It ends with the mystery entirely unresolved, and with old!Aka who can probably tell them at least some version of the events in custody, but we never see the interview or hear a summary of it. Nor do we find out what else they ended up recovering from the platform, after they finished dealing with the bloodlusted terrorists (or ex-terrorists, perhaps, if they've now been taken over by something). The episode's opening made sure we didn't need any earlier context to understand what was going on, but the ending felt much more like a halfway or two-thirds point than an actual ending. Maybe this is a two-parter monster of the week? I dunno.

Well, aside from that major issue, this episode was pretty engaging all around. Great animation and artwork, especially on the oppressive environment of the half-flooded platform's underbelly, and it put the audience in the proper mood for some transgressive scifi horror like what followed. The tachikomas were a nice comic relief to lighten the mood at key moments, though that lightheartedness kinda gives way to even darker stuff if you apply even a little bit of scrutiny. Seriously, what is up with those things? The action was good, and the unexpected brutality and bloodiness of it made for a very effective "shit gets real" moment.

It did feel a little flat on the character side of things, compared to the pilot. While my failure to pick up on all the team members' names is on me, it didn't help that nobody besides Kusanagi herself got much of a character-establishing moment this time. It was much more plot driven than the pilot, with few real decision points given to the characters once they arrived at the platform. It also doesn't help that Chief Aramaki, who was one of the more interesting characters to follow in the pilot, only got about a minute of total screentime here. I like the detail of him accompanying his troops into the operation site, and the bravery and camaraderie with his underlings this suggests, but other than that he didn't get to do more than just give a generic mission briefing that any suit could have delivered. If this is the beginning of a two-parter, it's possible that the second half might be more character driven.

The other flaw is the confusing location cuts. When did those other two team members move ahead of Kusanagi and Meaty? How did they end up in the control room with the Akas in it while racing to the sound of gunfire coming from the shack? Because of these issues in the buildup, I had trouble figuring out who was where during the following shootout as well, as the platform's layout came across as sort of an indistinct blur.

So, fun episode, and possibly the prelude to some really creepy and disturbing cyberpunk horror stuff, while still more or less retaining the optimistic heroic-forces-of-democracy-prevail-over-techno-authoritarianism tone of the pilot. Well, maybe. Are the tachikomas actually sentient beings with the minds of children being sent into deadly combat? Was Kusanagi actually about to torture that dude with a knife if he didn't give in? Maybe this isn't as morally black and white of a show as I've thought. The setting of an impoverished shantytown built on the ruins of a high tech facility also comes a lot closer to engaging with the usual class conflict themes of traditional cyberpunk, though the story hasn't seemed to do all that much with those themes as of yet.

Still, while it wasn't nearly as good as the pilot on a story level, "Not Equal's" production values and expert pacing make it a mostly enjoyable twenty-two minutes of animation.
 
Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood S1E10: Separate Destinations
We open on a flashback to the Ishval war, with state riflemen charging toward a town and being mowed down by Ishvalan machine gun nests. True to FMA's fantasy 1920's aesthetic, the recent war looks to have been a lot like World War I in terms of weaponry, tactics, and how the two did not mix well at all. The siege lines are finally advanced when a state alchemist shows up and blasts away the defending gunners. Surprisingly, it's a younger Roy Mustang, demonstrating his first bit of competence in the entire show until now. After the battle, he and a similarly younger Hughes are talking about the responsibilities of command, the onus on each commander to protect the lives of those beneath them in the hierarchy, and so on. We then see that Ayatollah Cockmeister the Impaler is visiting the freshly conquered town, presumably to congratulate his successful troops and reassure them that there's a perfectly good reason he sacrificed their friends' lives on the altar of trench warfare.

The implication, going by the word choice, musical cues, etc is pretty strongly that Mustang thinks that Rudolph Von Reindeer is not living up to that responsibility of command, and wishes he was in charge instead because he actually cares. I'm not sure how much I believe that, going off of everything we've seen of Mustang so far, but I suppose he could have been a much more idealistic man back in those days.


Also surprising is that Hughes is the one who laughs Mustang off for being a naive do-gooder, and chuckles cynically as he insinuates that if Mustang ever had any real power it would corrupt him and turn him into an adult just like himself and (implicitly) Emperor Priapus.

Well damn. I'm starting to think that Hughes might have been a wolf in sheep's clothing all this time, while Mustang - at least, before experience hardened and embittered him - might have once been the opposite even if he isn't anymore. So yeah, he doesn't just want to become the new dictator for its own sake. He actually has ideals, and they might not even be terrible ones.


Both of these men are participating in genocide, but one of them is smiling as he looks at the one who ordered it and the other isn't.

So yeah. I'm definitely going to be reevaluating my assessment of these two going forward. Hughes is always happy and optimistic, and Mustang is always angry and bitter. That makes Hughes seem more likeable, especially to underlings like the Elrics, but, well...considering the status quo they're surrounded by, which of those attitudes reflects better?

Jump back to the present, with Hawkeye waking Mustang up in his office chair. He seems to have fallen asleep on the job; recent events have had him overworking himself on all the paperwork. She asks him if he was having a disturbing dream, and he cooly tells her that he was just reliving an unimportant old memory. Cue intro.

Is this episode going to be all Mustang POV? That might actually be a pretty cool change of pace, not to mention one that could give us a lot more pieces of this Puzzle Plot.

Aaaand the intro is followed by Edward telling Hughes and Armstrong about what he saw and heard in lab 5, and doing some hilariously bad sketches of Sin Inc's field team.


Granted, it's not like a good picture would be any more help with Envy, but still.

The cat is out of the bag in terms of secrecy now, of course. Even if Armstrong and the idiot squad could be trusted, we now have Hughes, a bunch of other soldiers, and who even knows how many more people aware that the Elrics tried to investigate lab 5 and got deep enough to learn sensitive information. I was just wondering how long it would take for the consequences of this to take shape when there's a knock at the hospital room door, and everyone is shocked when Grob Gob Glob Grod himself walks in.


He hands Edward a fruit basket (that just has one big melon in it) and without even looking at him tells Armstrong that he knows he's been investigating his own higher ups and that he's going to cut that shit out right now or else. Establishing some serious villain cred from the word go in this scene, which is important; it's been a while since we last saw High Koko Lorum Chadley, and it helps to be reminded that this is not a guy you can fuck with.

What follows is one of the best power play sequences I think I've ever seen.

After confusing Edward with the bizarre fruit basket and putting Armstrong on the defensive, Great Magician Master Pain Betty menacingly asks Edward how much he learned about the philosopher's stone, lets Edward (who is still spending most of his time in a hospital bed at this point, remember) gasp and sweat for a moment, and then laughs and assures him that he was just kidding. He asks a few questions about what they've learned, informs them that all the men connected to lab 5 mysteriously vanished over the days leading up to the facility's destruction, and rambles ominously about an undefined "enemy" who must have penetrated further into the military than he thought.

He then assures Hughes, Armstrong, Edward, and Alphonse that he has the greatest trust in them, and he wishes he could tell them more, but the enemy's agents are everywhere, so they need to keep everything they've learned on the down low and not rock the boat any harder until he gives them more orders. Which he will! They are among his most trusted officers and alchemists, after all, and he'll have very important work for them soon that will help unravel this subversive conspiracy and drag the villains out into the light of day. They just need to be patient. Aside from the conspiracy being alerted and acting against them, this is a time when he can't afford to have any more major disturbances within the ranks; so, just go back to business as usual, and we'll pull the wool over all of their eyes together!

Then, he tells them with a mischievous grandfather smile that he snuck out of work to tell them all this, and he's got to sneak back to his office before too many people notice. And slips away through the window.


When Winry comes in a moment later, she finds everyone too dumbfounded to even speak coherently.

...

This is one of the best scenes of Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood so far, and one of the best grandstanding villain scenes I think I've seen in anything period. This is the moment where a lot of writers - amateur writers in particular, but not only - often drop the ball and make their bad guy come across as a clumsy, blustering oaf, or a devil-horned caricature of Obviously Evil authority. So, let's go over everything Prince Baron said and did here and examine both why he likely did it, and why the author likely wrote him that way, and why it all works so damned well.

First, he shows up completely unannounced, with nobody having the slightest bit of warning, right when they're discussing the most sensitive and secret of their findings. On one hand, this is a reminder to the audience that he can be very low profile for a dictator when he wants to be, and that his personal (Sin?) powers preclude the need for bodyguards even if he sometimes brings them for public appearances just for the show. But it also tells the characters that they are never safe from him. He could be watching and listening, by proxy or even in person, at literally any moment. Big Brother is watching, and he can stop being a passive observer at absolutely any time or any place if you give him a reason.

Next, he gives Edward the gag-gift fruit basket. A friendly gesture, but also a very ironic and non-serious one to give to a person who's just had a near death experience and is still recovering from it. If you press him on it, he can always just shrug and say that he thought the poor Fullmetal Alchemist could use a laugh. But the subtext, which would remain in the air even after you made him clarify this, is "you are a joke to me." And, he immediately follows this up with a dead serious reprimand of Armstrong for his unauthorized snooping (reminding them again not only of his omniscience, but also that he is The Authority that they need to justify themselves to at every step) and then uses the gravity this generates to terrorize Edward...only to then turn around AGAIN and go "just kidding bro, gee, calm down." Threatening him, and then making him feel ashamed of feeling threatened over an "obvious" joke. In the second episode, he demonstrated that he understands Edward's pride complex very well, and he's using it again here to make Edward question his own judgement and make him more willing to accept someone else's instead.

He then spins a story that viewed objectively is a pretty obvious ass-covering attempt, but actually has some brutal genius to its construction. You see, while it is PLAUSIBLE to the other characters that King Kong Khomeini might be on the side of good in this situation and that lab 5 was being run by a traitorous cabal he's trying to root out, the story works as a deterrent to future investigation even if they don't believe it. His talk about ubiquitous secret agents who could assassinate them for rocking the boat...was that a warning, or a veiled threat? When he said he doesn't want any more disturbances at this critical time, was he talking about enemy action, or their own recent activities? It's all ambiguous, and the intent is to make them half-believe both interpretations at once. Which means defaulting to inaction, while also losing the ability to apply actual scrutiny to anything he does going forward due to the mixed emotions.

He then praises them, telling them that he'll have great need of his most trusted agents soon. As we've already seen, making Edward feel inadequate and then dangling an opportunity to prove himself in front of him is exactly how you get him to look up to you. We don't yet know what sort of effect this type of emotional manipulation is likely to have on Hughes or Armstrong, but against Edward at least this is very well executed. Even if he's not sure if the previous story was true or not, and if the warnings that came with it were actually a threat, Edward will now WANT to believe the former, because that would allow him to feel like a bigshot who's entrusted with important things and give him a future opportunity to impress a surrogate father figure. Give people a choice between something they don't want to believe and something they do want to believe, and they'll most often convince themselves of the latter regardless of the balance of evidence (especially if you've already made them feel confused and insecure).

Finally, he does the silly window exit. Which is hugely entertaining for the audience, but also sends another set of mutually-exclusive-but-universally-acceptable-if-you-just-use-cognitive-dissonance messages to the characters. On one hand, its silly and humanizing, especially combined with the comment about people missing him at the office. It's the kind of thing your wise-but-whacky leader archetype, your Dale Cooper or Albus Dumbledore sorts, might do. It also builds a fake camaraderie with them, and lets them feel like part of the "in" crowd pulling one over on all the normies, when the dictator himself sneaks out of his important affairs of state just to visit you and then winks as he swears you to secrecy about it. And, it also communicates that the rules do not apply to him. He's above the law. He can do whatever the fuck he wants, no matter what rules or conventions it breaks, and this is something that ONLY HE can do. A reminder that he holds all the cards, and that you should really, really think twice about whether you want to be with him or against him.

This is a cartoonish (as befits the medium), but VERY convincing in overall concept, depiction of how authoritarianism actually works. The manipulation of emotions, the plausibly deniable tearing down of your marks before throwing them a rope, the mixture of fear and admiration that the Leader's mystique engenders. And, he doesn't say anything that couldn't be passed off as either a genial old wise man's shenanigans or an iron-fisted tyrant's threats, because he wants you to think that it's both at once and let your emotions guide you from there.

Now, I'm still keeping in mind that he and Lust might actually NOT be on the same team. The show has given us mixed messages on that front. If the Sins really are all shareholders of the same corp, then he's covering for them. If they aren't, and he and Lust's group really are in opposition, then...well...he still benefits from doing this. It's an opportunity to turn an event that could shake some of his most powerful alchemists' faith in the state into an opportunity to draw them in closer. And, even if he really didn't know about lab 5 and just had Lust pull a major operation off against him, there are probably some things related to the situation that he really doesn't want Edward and the others to know, and this power play will protect those secrets as well.

And yeah, I'm not even the slightest bit unsure anymore. He IS Pride. He is 100% Pride. He embodies the sin in every way, shape, and form. It's what he exudes, what he induces, and how he controls people. He's also A+ villain material, and I'd point anyone who wants to write a convincing authoritarian leader to this scene as a well-done example.

...

Well, when they've kinda sorta recovered, Edward announces that they're going to a place called Dublith, where their old alchemy teacher now lives (he sent Winry out to book them the train tickets, which she just returned with). Alphonse is afraid to face her, as they haven't seen her since their accident and he has no idea what she's going to say, or how she's likely to feel about having trained them now. Okay, cool, I was wondering if we'd ever get back to that minor plot point from the backstory. I'm not sure why the brothers want to go see her again right now in particular, but I suppose we'll find out shortly.

The map they then point to reveals that Dublith is deep in the southern province, pretty far away from Resembool. That teacher made quite a move, it would seem. Then Winry notices that the train route to Dublith will also take them through Rush Valley, and reacts thusly:


It's Silicon Valley for magic cybernetics I guess. Winry's never been there before, surprisingly, and she starts begging Edward to take her with them at least that far.

Erm. Winry. Why do you need Edward's permission for this? You took a train here to Central from Resembool. You can take another train from here to Rush Valley. Edward and Alphonse didn't mention anything about planning to stop there, so it's not like they're going to be keeping you company there. Is this some clingy crush bullshit that you're just hiding behind your professional interests? I think that's what this is.

Edward then asks her this very question and...um...


Winry, can you please just. Like. Not be in this show anymore?

If Winry was poor, I could forgive this. But, she's not. She might not make nearly as much as the Elrics, but she's still a successful professional who also...oh, yes, that's right...just made Edward pay for her to fix her own fuckup that nearly costed him his life.

I don't want Winry to die, neccessarily. I just don't want her to continue being on the screen.

Also, after Alphonse says he'll buy Winry a ticket with them just to nip this fight in the bud and Winry prances out of the room to call her grandmother, Hughes tells Edward that - based on what he's just observed, apparently - Winry would make a good wife for him. Yeah, this is just more evidence, on top of the flashback dream sequence, that really Hughes was the bad one all along.

So, after Winry says goodbye to the Hugheses and thanks them for their hospitality, she and the Elrics are off. As they ride the train south, Winry manages to at least do a small favor for the audience by asking the question I had earlier, and prompting the brothers to answer.


For one thing, their current alchemy skills just aren't cutting it against the latest crop of opponents. Beating up punks like Cornello and his lackeys is one thing, but Scar had them running for their lives with ruined equipment, Slicer put Edward in the hospital (though that seemed to mostly be down to Edward not using his fucking alchemy for some reason, so being better at alchemy probably wouldn't have made a difference...), and the Sin Inc HR department reps gave the impression of being at least as dangerous. So, if there's any practices that can make them more effective in battle, they need to start doing them. The other reason is because they want to ask her about the philosopher's stone. It's unlikely that she knows anything about the conspiracy and the protostone, but she's apparently knowledgeable in obscure alchemical lore and legend, so she might know something about "the truth within the truth."

Speaking of which, when is Edward going to tell Alphonse about capital T Truth/God/World/Also You? I get that they've sort of forgotten about that in the wake of Winry's dramatic visit and Ozymandias King of Kings fucking with their heads, but still, the topic was just being raised before that stuff happened.

Back in Central, Hughes is going over the recent departmental reports. The aftermath of Father Cornello's death is still ugly, what with the rioting cultists who claim to have seen him miraculously returned to life and urging them to defy the state. The revolt has been more or less suppressed by this point, and the rioting and terrorism seems to be past its peak, but there are also other, unrelated uprisings going on in the northern and western provinces, as well as "border skirmishes" of some kind. Border skirmishes with who, I wonder? What other countries are next to Unnamistan? Unknown at this time. He looks at the incidents' positions on the map, and makes some sort of connection with the events of the Ishval war and the production of protostone. He looks panicked, and says to himself aloud that he has to tell Vlad the Impaler about what he's discovered, but then he has a visitor.


Well, he was warned/threatened that he's being watched, and that someone will come after him if he keeps pursuing this investigation. She could be here either to help her fellow Sin out, or he could have actually been trying to keep Hughes and the others out of her line of fire. At this point I'm definitely leaning toward the former, though. She kind of MUST have access to Count DeMoney's intel network to pull this off so punctually.

There's a quick exchange of blows. Lust gets stabbed in the forehead with Hughes' combat knife, while Hughes is impaled by her extendo-claws. She walks it off just fine. He does not. He DOES, however, manage to limp out of his office and into the brightly lit and well-trafficked hallway outside, where she can't follow him without attracting attention. He drags himself to the receptionist's office to make a phone call (ignoring the shocked reactions when people see his bleeding puncture wounds), but then realizes that the facility's phone lines could be compromised and...

...

...

...goes outside to use a phone booth. At night. In the dark. On a street with no one else around.

:facepalm:

Well, I guess he's lost a lot of blood. It might be making him lightheaded. Unfortunate.

It was nice knowing you Hughes. I might not have been sure if I liked you, or which side you were on, but you at least died a hero. He's just in the process of getting through to Mustang (why is he telling him, specifically? I guess I don't know enough about the organization to know if this is a logical choice or not, so I'm not complaining, just wondering) when someone sneaks up behind him. It's not Lust, surprisingly.


I very strongly suspect that it's not actually Idiot #2 either, of course.

Hughes quickly figures out that it isn't actually her, since she's actually managed to successfully interdict him without tripping over her own shoelaces or sticking the magazine in her pistol backwards. Also, she's supposed to have a mole under her left eye. Very sloppy of Envy to miss that, and also fairly perceptive of Hughes, especially in this lighting. Unfortunately for him, he happened to drop a photo of the family he never shuts up about when he was making the call, and Envy discombobulates him by taking on his wife's form based on the image. Not that I think he'd have been able to outfight her even without that factor. Really, he was dead from the moment he walked out alone into the dark.

The show was a little too heavyhanded in emphasizing the fact that Hughes has a family who will miss him, all the way down to shoehorning multiple appearances over the course of Winry's visit without them actually doing anything. I was kind of wondering if the show was going to kill THEM off rather than him, but either way it felt like I was being heavyhandedly primed for a tragedy. That seems to be a recurring weakness in Arakawa's writing, so far. She's usually good at making the audience care about her main characters, but she has this annoying tendency to try to build extra pathos by waving cute extras in front of the camera for a while before dropping an anvil on them. If Hughes' wife or children had actually DONE anything to make me invested in them rather than just be boringly cute in the background, this would have been much more effective. As it is, I'll miss Hughes' quirkiness, and the fun of trying to puzzle out his actual angle, and of course now we'll have to wait for someone else to figure out the thing that he just did, but the way the camera focuses on that photo and plays melodramatically sad music during his death just...well, it's leaning on the weakest of the scene's emotional pillars.

Back on the train, Winry and Edward are enjoying some pastries that the Hugheses sent her off with, and they and Alphonse are just kinda having a friendly gossip about the major himself.


Cut to the funeral. Hughes' family are all there, of course, along with Armstrong, Mustang, and - surprisingly - the very King Kubilai Khan Kong Il II who may have ordered his death. There are a few minutes of sadness, focusing on his young daughter's incomprehension because she's cute and that makes it extra sad. Prince Albert In A Can manages to put on a pretty convincing display of barely restrained sadness himself, interestingly. After the ceremony, Mustang stands over the fresh grave, musing on Maes Hughes' promotion straight to Brigadier General for dying in the line of duty. Common practice for Unnamistani officers, apparently, and one that Mustang finds hollow and faintly insulting. He then monologues to himself about how the loss of Hughes will mean one less valuable supporter when it's time to attempt his coup, but then when Hawkeye comes up to him he informs her that it's raining before craning his head upward.


I definitely want to know more about Mustang now. His actual beliefs seem to be at odds with pretty much everything he said and visibly did throughout the first few episodes, but then that only makes sense if he's trying to raise within the ranks while avoiding suspicion. His issues with showing emotion are something else, though. I'd normally chalk this up to the usual toxic masculinity amplified by military decorum, but this is a military organization that includes Armstrong, so those expectations can't be that strong. I begin to suspect he had a really fucked up childhood.

In fact...now that I think about it, there's no other character with as much screentime as Mustang who hasn't at least mentioned their family and upbringing. Armstrong talks about his family legacy and honor and other such shoneny things. Hughes was all about his family to a comical extreme, Winry has her grandmother and has spoken about her dead parents, the Elrics have their own parental situation, even Mustang's sidekick Hawkeye talked about her childhood a little bit back in ep 2. Mustang's avoidance of the subject is pretty conspicuous when you put it together with his emotional repression and control issues. Yeah, regardless of whether or not the story ever says so explicitly, I have a strong suspicion that Mustang was abused.

Later, Mustang revisits the crime scene, following Hughes' path from his office where he first started leaving a blood trail, to the reception room, to the phone booth where his body was found. Mustang knows that he was calling him when the assassin caught up to him. The branch secretary, who Hughes had been trying to confirm his ID with when Envy caught up to him, said that Hughes claimed he was calling about a national emergency that concerns the military in particular. Clearly, the national emergency had him silenced just in time to protect itself.


As Mustang tries to puzzle out what exactly it could have been that Hughes learned about in his office, Armstrong shows up. He tells Mustang that he was some suspects. When Mustang asks if they've been arrested yet, Armstrong tells him that he cannot arrest them. Mustang demands to know who they are, and Armstrong tells him that he cannot tell him who "the people that killed Major Hughes" are, even when he pulls rank. Then, before departing, he mentions that the Elric brothers were just here in Central, and that they're still looking for that thing that they're looking for.

Mustang now knows nearly as much about the situation as Armstrong does, as well as who to ask to get the rest of the details, without Armstrong technically disobeying Lord Humongous' orders. Including the fact that someone who outranks Mustang ordered Armstrong to keep it secret. I don't think Armstrong just did this to cover his own ass, though. I doubt he thinks that technical loopholes like this would protect him from extrajudicial killing. I think it's more about his personal honor; he promised not to tell anyone, and his oath to the state prevents him from violating that promise. Just like the way he handled the Elric brothers' desire to investigate lab 5 in the first place, he's very good at finding ways to follow his honor code while still doing what he thinks is the right thing even when the two conflict.

Mustang is on a mission now, and Hawkeye promises that she's with him all the way. There's some kind of history between these two, more than just her being his assistant. Not romantic, but...something. Granted, this episode revealed that the coup Mustang has occasionally lusted after ISN'T just a megalomaniacal pipe dream, and that the people (including Lieutenant Hawkeye) who have mentioned it in jest weren't JUST ribbing him. So, I guess "co-conspirator" accounts for their relationship nicely. I certainly never expected that thread to actually mean so much; I really just thought the show was characterizing Mustang as a power hungry douche whose colleagues mock him for it!

Well, he's on a mission now. And, in a surprising turnaround, I'm behind him. End episode.


This was a twisty one. Not a plot twist, so much as a character twist. Nothing really HAPPENED in this episode besides Hughes getting killed and Mustang finding out part of what the other characters already know, but just getting a better look at Mustang's character forces the audience to recontextualize the entire story up until now. While Edward and Alphonse were on screen for a little bit, this was, in the end, someone else's episode. Several someone elses, actually, given that Hughes was essentially our protagonist for a decently sized part of it.

While Winry continues to be annoying, and the author's overuse of round-faced little blonde kids as cheap pathos generators is starting to grate on me, the strengths of this episode are such that these flaws are rendered insignificant. We hit the ground running after "Created Feelings'" fumble, and more and more characters are really coming in to their own.


Next week will be another episode of Symphogear.
 
Symphogear S1E2: Noise And Disharmony (part one)
Back to Symphogear, for the second of four episodes commissioned by @NHO. Where the pilot left off, dumb-but-brave teenaged music student Hibiki had just meguka'd after being trapped on a rooftop by a bunch of noise demons. Section 1 has detected the release of psychic energy from her meguka, and will presumably ask their colleagues in Section 9 to search the area for condoms so they can learn more about the situation.

As is customary for anime, episode two introduces the OP. It's...okay. Visually distinctive and well animated like I've come to expect from this show, but the subject matter is all well-trodden ground for its genre. Some action poses and skydiving shots of Hibiki and Kenobi, as well as some tragic memory shots of Jinn. Some bits of transformation sequence. The protagonist flying naked through space on a pair of angel wings. The adult supporting characters standing around in uniform. Etc. The song is also pretty much like the rest of Symphogear's musical numbers. It easily could be a song that one of the girls sings in battle or onstage, and doesn't do much to distinguish itself from that so-so milieu. It's a perfectly servicable intro, overall, but nothing special either artistically or in terms of informing/foreshadowing me about the coming events.

JoJo may have kind of spoiled me, with regards to anime intros.

The episode begins, as you'd expect given the pilot's cliffhanger ending, right where we left off. Hibiki isn't sure what the hell just happened and why she's covered in stylized futuristic armor and wearing giant headphones now, but the little girl thinks it looks cool so that's nice. The confusion starts to abate when Hibiki hears the music in her headphones, and somehow knows she has to sing along. It isn't clear if she's actually hearing vocals and singing along with them, or if the words are just magically coming to her as she keeps up with the karaoke beats.

The song is...well...it gets off to a better start than the previous ones. While Hibiki IS singing the same tired platitudes about hope and love and plausibly deniable lesbianism and so forth, she at least has the decency to tie SOME of the lyrics to the actual situation. She starts off with the "warmth of the hand" of the girl she's holding onto, and the first verse or so has a clear thread of protection and desperation before the song just kind of becomes Generic Symphogear.

We also have a problem, though. And it's a problem that, due to the nature of this show, is absolutely certain to keep coming back again and again and again almost constantly. I'll try not to let it influence my judgement of the show, because I'm pretty sure that this is just a personal taste thing that I can't hold the show responsible for. But, well...

I find Hibiki's singing voice really, really fucking annoying.

The Noise seem to agree with me, because they pursue her doggedly as she uses her new superhuman strength and endurance to leap off of the tower top and parkour her way across the city, child clutched in her arms as she sings desperately, seeming to not realize that that's just making them angrier. Desperate to make the shrill, nasally screeching stop, the poor demons beg for help from their stronger brethren, calling some building-sized behemoths over to aid in the pursuit. In the hands of an inexperienced user like Hibiki, even the power of mediocre J-Pop can only grant so much protection, and she takes a few nasty hits. To her credit, she shields the child from every single one with her body, including when they get thrown into a wall hard enough to make a crater.


Being meguka is...well, you know.

Something that I'll give Hibiki's animators and voice actress full credit for is the way they capture the juxtaposition between the confident battlesong, and Hibiki being scared out of her mind and not at all sure what she's doing while she's singing it. Subtle intonations. The way her facial expressions shift as she tries to focus on the song even while being flung around by monsters. You can tell that the song is her lifeline. The only thing keeping her alive. And that her confusion about WHY that's the case is evenly matched with her mysterious surety that it IS the case.

She finally gets cornered, and seemingly on instinct turns to fight. She surprises herself by pulverizing the first couple of minor demons as soon as they attack, but between her inexperience and the fact that she has to protect the kid it's clear she won't be able to deal with the big bois. Fortunately, Kenobi finally arrives by motorcycle, taking down the biggest assailant while singing much, MUCH better than Hibiki can.

Which makes perfect sense, now that I think about it. Kenobi is a famous performer, while Hibiki is just a random music student. I guess I mistakenly assumed that being a Musical Magical Girl automatically came with preternatural vocal talent. It very well might not.


Before Hibiki got sidetracked with this latest Noise incursion, she had been trying to arrange a conversation with Kenobi to ask her what the hell happened at the stadium two years...I mean...a few months?...um...a while ago. As fate would have it, she's living through the answer herself by the time that conversation gets to happen. I'm still sort of baffled by how much or how little of this is supposed to be public knowledge, but it's entirely possible that all of it is and Hibiki is just that dense.

Anyway, Kenobi instructs Hibiki to stay back and defend the child from any monsters that get past her. Good call, Kenobi. Hibiki's demonstrated that she can deal with a handful of minor Noise at a time, so you can probably trust her to take care of the kid as long as you take point and keep the tougher ones busy. As it turns out, Hibiki never even has to do that. Kenobi wipes out all the Noise with immense precision, as well as some new abilities she seems to have developed since we last saw her fight. Including the power to make bus-sized swords fall out of the sky.

In fact, that attack would have been so conspicuously helpful against the big spitters that overwhelmed them in the stadium battle that I'm pretty sure she invented it with exactly that in mind. Having an attack like this one at the time might have prevented her lover from having to sacrifice herself. So yeah, nice touch writers.


The police and military arrive shortly afterward, and begin cleaning up the piles of carbon dust that used to be people and dispensing medical treatment to survivors. Hibiki is kind of just standing in the middle of it all, still in her magical armor, waiting for someone to explain what happened to her. Kenobi seems to have left for the moment, presumably to report in to her handlers or whatever. After Hibiki's managed to wind down and calm herself, the armor dissipates. Much more violently than meguka costumes normally do, notably. It startles her enough to make her drop the coffee that one of the soldiers handed her, and almost fall over were it not for Kenobi coming back just in time to catch her.

I like that the magical girl stuff has more of a weighty feel to it in this show. The lightshows and gusts of wind actually have a physical impact on their surroundings at least as often as not.

Kenobi starts to walk away from her again with a disgusted look on her face, ignoring her pleas to talk and explain things to her. Um...so, did Kenobi just come running out of nowhere because she saw Hibiki about to fall over, and only because of that? If she isn't even willing to dignify her with words, and is looking at her like she was anthropomorphic dog shit or something, then why does she care if Hibiki falls over? Why would she come over just for that?

She stops when Hibiki mentions that this is the second time that Kenobi has saved her. Kenobi stops, curious, and starts to turn around and ask her what she means by that. But then she's interrupted...I guess?...by the little girl's mother coming up to retrieve her, and then the soldier who handed Hibiki the coffee earlier telling the mother that she has to sign a secrecy contract about everything she saw tonight, and that breaking it will be considered an act of treason.

...the fuck?

Then, instead of walking away from Hibiki like she had been starting to do, OR continuing to ask her what she meant by her having saved Hibiki twice, she...um...



...is joined by a bunch of stony faced government agents who surround Hibiki and slap her in handcuffs.

So, what? Did Kenobi just forget that she was supposed to be guarding Hibiki until the thing with the mother reminded her? The way she ran over as soon as Hibiki started to fall indicates she was keeping an eye on her, but...then she turned her back and started walking away. And, did nobody tell Hibiki she had to come with them up until now? Why did they leave her more-or-less unattended up until now, and then decide that they need to throw handcuffs on her before she even tries to resist?

And, um. How many people have seen this magical girl stuff happening, at this point? There were all those soldiers who saw Kenobi when she defended that town. There were presumably people IN the town who would have seen. There was all the people who fled the stadium and might have potentially looked back over their shoulders, and god only knows how many other people in the nearby buildings who would have had a decent view of the battle. And, we've been told (AND SHOWN) that magical girls are the only effective defense against Noise, which means that they must be deploying them whenever a population center is attacked. Which doesn't seem to be a super uncommon occurrence.

My question at this point isn't why the Japanese government is bothering to keep this under wraps; I can assume for the moment that they have a good reason for that, and that we'll learn about it soon. My question is how they possibly could be keeping it under wraps.

Well, they drive a (literally) screaming Hibiki to Section 2 headquarters. I thought Kenobi worked for Section 1? Maybe I'm misremembering. Whatever Section it is, the HQ is apparently hidden in the same music school that Hibiki just started at. So they arrested her, slapped her in handcuffs, threw her in the car...and brought her to the place where they already she was going to go anyway. In other words, a realistic portrayal of police in a medium that often lacks that kind of social fidelity, cool! They bring her to a secret elevator that goes down what seems like kilometers into some kind of gigantic underground temple-like structure. One of the soldiers seems to be trying to calm Hibiki down, but Kenobi tells him sternly to stop treating her like anything other than a criminal.


The fuck.

At the bottom of the temple type place there's a much more modern looking base set up. And inside of it are a bunch of people who are much happier to see Hibiki than anyone since the battle.


The screwup who caused the noise outbreak under that stadium and got hundreds of people killed before introduces himself as the head of Section 2. After that fiasco, I'm not sure why he's still in charge of anything, but whatever. Also, I could have SWORN it was Section 1 before. Meh, whatever.

A bunch of people cheerily manhandle Hibiki, including a woman who I thiiiink is the music teacher who yelled at her before. Said music teacher also takes a picture of Hibiki bound in handcuffs and looking terrified in a room full of grinning, celebrating people in uniform, for posterity's sake. Then Yoda says...um...


There's probably a less reassuring sentence you can hear from a uniformed Japanese man, but I can't for the life of me think of one.

Anyway, a soldier finally removes Hibiki's handcuffs, seemingly on a whim of Kenobi's, and seemingly because she's just embarrassed for her rather than sympathetic. Had it not been for that, it doesn't seem like anyone would have removed the cuffs. And the fact that no one OBJECTED to him removing the cuffs is a pretty clear indicator that they were never actually necessary, and everyone knew it. Again, realistic police, cool. The boss man introduces himself as Yoda, and the music teacher lady who seems to be his second in command or something along those lines as...eh, can't think of an appropriate SW name, but I'm also going to have trouble remembering her actual one, so I'm just gonna call her Glasses. Yoda tells her that they want her help. Yeah, because they've really gone out of their way to inspire loyalty. Hibiki asks for more information, and Glasses tells her that before this conversation can continue, she needs to do two things. First, swear to tell nothing to anyone. And second, she adds while wrapping her arm around Hibiki's back, pushing her breasts into Hibiki's front, and leaning in to whisper in her ear, she has to take off her clothes.

Hibiki gasps in shock and humiliation. Then we cut to her coming home to her dorm room later that night, looking like this:


Get it? It's funny because it's implied rape! 🤣


I'll finish this episode as soon as I'm done crushing my head over and over again in a door. Probably tomorrow night.
 
Symphogear S1E2: Noise And Disharmony (continued)
Where we left off, Hibiki finished stumbling in and collapsed onto the floor in a manner that is most definitely not suggestive of having been assaulted, which is hilarious because the implied assailant was female.

To be clear, I don't ACTUALLY think we're meant to infer that that's what happened. It was probably some sort of medical examination, or mystical empowerment, or anti-Noise bioscan, or something along those lines. But the creators very clearly INTENDED to animate, frame, and cut this sequence in a way that makes it look like rape, and the goal was comedy. I'm not saying that rape jokes are never, ever okay. Anything can be funny, depending on the structure and target of the joke. But in this case, "it looks like Hibiki got raped" is the entirety of the punchline. It's just the cheapest, laziest, and most tasteless kind of shock humor.

And like...I don't think we're ever going to get an explanation for why Glasses acted that way when telling Hibiki about whatever procedure it was. As I've said many times in the past, characters' behavior can be exaggerated for comedic effect, but the focus of the humor should always be that it is, in fact, an exaggeration of their normal behavior. So, what is this scene supposed to tell us about Glasses? Is a milder form of that kind of transgressive sexual aggression an actual character trait of hers that we'll be seeing throughout? Is she a sadist who likes scaring and toying with people (if so, that would at least fit in with how most of the others treated Hibiki, albeit she took it the furthest)? If she's neither of the above, then that scene - more or less our INTRODUCTORY SCENE for that character - had her written completely out of character just for the sake of a bad rape joke. First impressions are important.

Well. Let's get on with this shitshow.

Hibiki's roommate Miku is watching the news, and Hibiki recovers from her post-pretend-rape exhaustion enough to notice that there's a breaking entertainment news story about Kenobi. She's releasing a major English album for an overseas audience, and apparently rebranding herself in some way in the process (though we aren't told any details). That can't be a coincidence with Hibiki's I-guess-mabey-recruitment, though the connection is unclear. Maybe Yoda told her that she and Hibiki are a duo act now? If so, I pity everyone's ears.


Also, Kenobi's name has been said enough at this point that I can remember it easily now. Tsubasa. According to a slightly weeby fiance of mine, that means "wings."

Cut ahead to Hibiki and Miku in bed later that night. Hibiki starts to tell Miku about what happened, but remembers that she was sworn to silence, and tries to brush it off. Miku can tell some bad shit happened to or around Hibiki this evening though, and prompts her to continue. Hibiki just apologizes for coming home late, and tells Miku that everything is fine now that she's with her again, and Miku accepts this and just lets Hibiki spoon her until she falls asleep. Miku seems to be frustrated by her girlfriend's secrecy, but glad that she's able to help a little bit just by being there. Miku continues to be my favorite character thus far.

Cut to Tsubasa. She's reminiscing about some tender moments with her own late partner, especially how Jinn used to tell her that "as long as we're together, there's nothing to be afraid of. Like I said during one of those moments prior to her death in the pilot, she really wasn't thinking the laws of dramatic irony, and probably could have saved herself by just keeping her damned mouth shut. Tsubasa then angrily whispers, through barely repressed tears, that Hibiki's "gear" belongs to Jinn. That's why she resents her, I guess. She somehow picked up the powers that Jinn left behind upon death, probably because she was the closest person at the time.Tsubasa either thinks Hibiki is unworthy of Jinn's legacy, or just hates the painful reminder.

Also, this scene takes place in the shower, while the camera lovingly pans in on the weeping Tsubasa's naked and glistening curves. In case you haven't picked up on it yet, this isn't a very good show.

...

There's something else that bothers me about the juxtaposition of how this scene was done and the way the preceding one was handled. I'm...not going to make this accusation until I've seen more data points, though. We'll see.

...

The next day (I think), some of Hibiki's friends come up to her after class and invite her to this restaurant they discovered. Hibiki can't, on account of having more Section 2 stuff to go do presumably. When she tells them that the teachers need to talk to her again, they tell her that...um...


Oh fuck off, Symphogear writers. Do you really think this makes you seem smarter? More self-aware? It doesn't even make any damned sense! Getting called in to the office two days in a row is "like an anime?" Is that where absolutely anyone's mind would go in response to hearing about it? Is getting called in to the office a lot a particular hallmark of anime? I may not have seen that many series, but I'm pretty sure the answer is no. What is the joke even supposed to be? They're winking at the audience apropos of absolutely nothing. Just, like, randomly winking at us at a random time.

After everyone else leaves, Tsubasa shows up and tells Hibiki that she needs to come back to HQ. Hibiki's expression suggests that she's surprised at this, even though she literally just blew her friends off for it. Then Tsubasa puts her in handcuffs again.

...

What the fuck even is this Kafkaesque nightmare of a magical girl organization?

...

At HQ, Glasses tells Hibiki that her medical exam results are all fine (okay, so that's what that was), and that they can now tell her everything about her powers, what Section 2 really is, etc.

Hey, question! What would you guys have done if her test results DIDN'T come back clear? During Hibiki's last visit to the base, you told her that you'd fill her in on everything after she swore to secrecy and took the medical exam. The fact that you're only giving her the explanation now, a day later, indicates that her CLEARING the exam is the prerequisite, not just TAKING the exam. So, like. Why did you bring her to HQ and give her just enough info to be tantalizing before you were sure if you could tell her the rest? Why didn't you just give her the exam aboveground, and tell her that you'll get back to her depending on the results? Why did you throw a fucking welcoming party for her before you knew that she was even able - not even willing, but just able - to come aboard? If this wasn't a secret organization, it wouldn't matter so much. But given how serious they seem to be about keeping themselves clandestine, it's just...what?

I guess this is what happens to any agency with completely unaccountable leaders. Yoda didn't seem to suffer any major official consequences when he got a stadium full of innocent people blown up, after all, and if that doesn't end your career there's probably nothing that will. No one is scrutinizing his muddled, callous, and lackadaisical policies. So he's free to keep running Section 2 into the ground.

Anyway, they finally stop half-assing it and tell Hibiki the rest of the story. There are prehuman ruins hidden throughout the world, with remnants of "heretical technology" left in some.


For the sake of my sanity, I'm going to assume that this is a localization fuckup and it's supposed to be "secret" or "incomprehensible" or something. The alternative would be that this seemingly modern and mostly familiar world actually has something like Warhammer 40K's tech-orthodoxy going on, which just...like I said, I'm going to assume for my mental well-being's sake that it's not that.

Anyway, Section 2 possesses one or more fragments of an ancient weapon called the Sword of Heaven (Ame no Habakiri). Even broken off from the original artifact and eroded by hundreds of thousands of years, these fragments have the ability to generate anti-Noise battlesuits that they've come to call Symphogears. The effect is activated by a certain pattern of sound waves; a form of song. Which explains why Hibiki got the armor before she started singing. :/ EDIT: my mistake, she sang the first few words, then the armor appeared, then there was a silence for a bit before she kept singing.

Okay, to be fair, she replies to this by saying that she heard the song in her heart before she started singing along with it, and that this mental song preceded the suit's appearance. So I guess imaginary sound waves count. But, um. Hold up. In that case, where did the song in Hibiki's mind come from? If the song is needed to activate the Symphogear, then that means the Symphogear itself can't have been creating it. So, what was? Hibiki also didn't have the shard on her at the time, so I guess it must have remotely hooked itself up to her when she was present for Jinn's death, and then remotely picked up the song from someplace else? I think? Maybe?

Tsubasa cuts in to angrily add that not just any song can trigger the shard's power, and not just anyone's song either. Apparently, mediocre J-pop sung in the typical young adult female vocal range is a dead ringer for Great Old One war chants. Truly, their armies must have been terrifying. From the way she angrily emphasizes the word "anyone," and the way she glowers at Hibiki while doing so, it's clear that she's implying that Hibiki is not up to the task. Her skepticism is understandable. After all, Hibiki did in fact conjure the Symphogear and use it.

The rest of the room reacts to this moronic outburst the same way that I did: staring at Tsubasa in a silent mixture of disbelief and sympathy.


Looking at the traits Hibiki and Tsubasa have in common, I guess we can infer that "being really, really dumb" is one of the prerequisites for Symphogear users. I'll chalk this up to the shard's damaged state and/or neurological differences between the Sword of Heaven's creators and humanity. Either that, or military service was relegated to the Great Old Ones' dumber-than-dirt slave caste or something.

If there were a bunch of candidates being tested for Symphogear compatibility and Hibiki was one of them, Tsubasa's outburst could have at least made some tortured kind of emotional sense. Hibiki is unworthy of Jinn's memory. Therefore, Hibiki couldn't possibly be able to use her old Symphogear. But um. The reason this conversation is happening is because Hibiki already did use it. Symphogear-compatibility is a purely descriptive trait. If someone uses a Symphogear, then that means that they can use a Symphogear. I get that Tsubasa is supposed to be in denial, but this comes across as either a complete psychotic breakdown and detachment from reality, or a truly profound level of stupidity and failure to pay attention to the most basic principles of their institutional knowledge.

Once they've all recovered from being embarrassed for Tsubasa, Glasses tells Hibiki that she's the scientist who adapted the shard for human use, so any more technical questions should be adressed to her. Hibiki asks once of the same questions I had a minute ago; why was she able to manifest a Symphogear without having a shard nearby? Apparently, the reason is because during the stadium battle, some bits of Jinn's equipment got embedded in Hibiki's body when she was hit by that shrapnel. Those bits of Symphogear turned back into bits of shard afterward, and apparently those little fragments are enough.


Was this part of what she meant when she said her medical results came back "normal?"

Also, this explanation goes back to the other issue I raised. If the song causes the shards to activate, then that means they must be coming from somewhere other than the shards themselves. So...where did Hibiki's mental song come from?

Hearing that Hibiki has bits of Jinn's shard embedded in her chest makes Tsubasa start crying, and she leaves the room. It's only been two years a few months since Jinn's death, after all.

Now that they only have one temperamental moron to focus on, the adults tell Hibiki that the reason for all this secrecy is to protect the girls' family and friends, which...I never thought I'd see the day that I ran into a secret identity system that makes even less sense than the usual superhero conventions, but here we are. Keeping the girls' identities a secret could make sense if there are enemies who would use it against them, but keeping the entire existence of the Symphogears a secret? Just give the damned girls some obscuring faceplates to go with the helmets, seriously! You say that this is to protect people, but how goddamned many people do you have to threaten with treason charges, arrest and imprison without a warrant, etc, etc, to preserve this psychotic extreme of needless secrecy? How do people even think that the government IS fighting the noise, with every soldier who's ever gone up against them knowing and probably telling that conventional weapons are useless? What's been turning the Noise back from all these invasions? What conspiracy theories and paranoia and civil unrest is this going to encourage?

And...well...again, in the default superhero assumptions, the heroes are going up against criminal masterminds with feelers out everywhere and secret identities and plainclothes agents of their own. That sort of enemy has the means and the motive to research a hero's identity and target their family and social group. Does any of that apply to the Noise, though? Maybe it does. Maybe the noise demons are actually as smart as humans, and capable of watching the news and reading articles to learn about their opponents. Maybe they have a controlling intelligence that gathers information in secret and then sends them after specific targets. Maybe they can "download" information from people they disintegrate, which means that if they ate someone who knows who the magical girls really are they'll be able to target them proactively. Any of these things COULD be the case, and perhaps in the coming episodes we'll learn as much. But for the time being, based on everything we've been shown and told so far, the Noise appears to be a swarm of mindless predators.

If I had any more faith in the show than I currently do, I wouldn't be raising this subject. I'd take Yoda's warning at face value and assume that the Noise must have a way of exploiting personal information even if they seem mindless at first. But the amount of faith I've had in this narrative has been gradually slipping away since about halfway through the pilot, and at this point I can't make generous assumptions unless it clearly gives me a basis for them.

Of course, there's also another explanation. That being that Yoda is just outright lying when he says the secrecy is just to protect their civilian guises and connections, and really the Japanese government is hoarding the Sword of Heaven shards and doesn't want foreigners to know they have an effective anti-Noise measure that they aren't sharing. This actually explains the situation much better, and goes along with the portrayal of authorities as incompetent, self-sabotaging, and callous. Well, I guess we'll see.

Anyway, Yoda then asks Hibiki if she's willing to fight for them. Man, wouldn't it be hilarious if she said no? What could they even do at that point, besides tear the shards out of her chest and try implanting them into someone else? Oh, who am I kidding, that's exactly what they would do. Hibiki asks if her fighting for them really would help save people. She does like saving people, after all. She once conjured a little girl out of thin air just so she'd have someone to save, that's some serious dedication. After agreeing to become meguka on a professional full-time basis, she's allowed to leave the room, and soon runs into Tsubasa in the hall. Tsubasa blows her off yet again, refusing to talk to, shake hands with, or even look at the person who she's going to have to work with to prevent her home country from being eaten by fever dream monsters. This renewed petulance of hers is thankfully cut short when an alarm sounds. It's the Noise Alarm! The Noise Noise! The Noise squared!

Tsubasa sets out for the coordinates they're materializing at at once; it's very nearby, so she can get there on her own this time. The adults tell Hibiki not to go after her, she's untrained and needs the crash course before they can deploy her, but she ignores them and runs off. Remember all the times that they grabbed Hibiki and restrained her against her will when they didn't want her going someplace, for much, much worse reasons than they have now? Me two, but unfortunately they don't. Physical restraint and coersion is only acceptable for the purposes of intimidating Hibiki for no reason, not for actually protecting their super valuable shard-infused human asset. They just stare helplessly after her and angst about it.

I'm officially on Team Noise at this point. Aside from Hibiki and Miku, I want all these people to die horribly. And in Hibiki's case it's just because I kind of feel bad for her.

Tsubasa encounters the Noise as they're marching up the highway into the city.


There's something extremely funny to me about this image, and I'm not exactly sure what. Maybe it's that these demonic beasts are all choosing to walk along the highway, when I was expecting to see hordes of them surging across the fields on either side. I dunno. It just looks silly for some reason.

Upon confronting Tsubasa, the demons stop advancing and fuse together to form a single, very large creature. Interesting. This does suggest some degree of intelligence, if they're able to make the tactical decision to merge into a tough combat form when faced with a dangerous opponent or to separate and cover more ground when there's prey to be caught. It also explains why, during both battles we've seen so far, larger and tougher demons only started joining the fight after a while; they didn't exist until some of the smaller Noise already on the scene realized they needed more firepower and fused offscreen. Okay, that makes sense. It's kind of weird that the show didn't let us see this happening until now, since it would have been plainly visible to the heroines, but better late than never. I'm still waiting for a sign of them being smart enough to google people's names and addresses, though.

Tsubasa transforms and starts singing. This looks like a much smaller Noise attack than the last one we saw her deal with, so while the action is fun to watch (and the song she sings this time is significantly above average for Symphogear's soundtrack thus far), there isn't really much tension. Hibiki comes screeching into view toward the end and lands a kick on the Noise entity that knocks it off balance and makes Tsubasa's killing blow a bit easier, but she seemed to have the situation well in hand even before that.

I will say one thing in Symphogear's favor here. Often in anime, you'll see a scene where the newbie hero helps the prickly rival out in a dangerous situation, and the prickly rival resents them for it and tries to play it off like they didn't actually need the help, and it makes them look much worse than the creators usually seem to intend. Here, Tsubasa's reaction is completely warranted. She didn't need the help. There was no need for Hibiki to come. She was told not to come. If the situation actually had been a bit worse than this, it's quite possible she would have been killed before ever getting a chance to receive training and become a proper anti-Noise warrior who can really make a difference. So, while Tsubasa has been making a bad impression up until now, here she's actually being very reasonable in a way that anime often fails to.

EDIT: Okay, I made a major screw up with this last scene.

Tsubasa turns huffily back around, smiles at Hibiki, and says


The pose (sword extended toward Hibiki) and their preexisting dynamic suggests that she's challenging her to fight. However, due to a combination of Tsubasa's expression looking less angry and more excited than I'd have expected, and (moreso) the voice actress' similar delivery, I wasn't sure if she really did mean "let's fight each other" and not "let's fight together." I did something very stupid here, and watched the first few seconds of the next episode to find out which she meant, and the (sort of baffling, given what seemed like it should have been a cliffhanger) beginning of ep 3 led me to a wrong conclusion.

So, yeah. Tsubasa turns around and challenges Hibiki to a duel. That's the end of the episode.


I've still got two more of these to review. Which is good, I think. Between Fullmetal Alchemist and Ghost in the Shell, I sort of feel like I've been getting away from my roots.
 
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Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood S1E11: Miracle at Rush Valley
Happy Alchemy Week, y'all!


The Elrics and Winry have arrived in Rush Valley, the holy land of automairu. Somewhat surprisingly, automail gives off the impression of being a fairly blue-collar profession. The people are all dressed more like plumbers or electricians than software types, and the city has a feel of rough-and-tumble prosperity more akin to a booming industrial town than a research center. Which makes sense, given that automail seems to require hand-crafting for each recipient. Each automail technician needs to make their own stuff, with wrenches and rivets that they hold themselves.

Winry is just fangirling at all this, of course, while the Elrics are just kinda standing aside waiting for her to be done. Why did they get off the train with her? Do they have anything to do here? It's not like they need to wait for her to get back on the train so they can go on to Dublith, either. Winry didn't express any interest in accompanying them to there. So, yeah, why are they here?

No shit, Sherlock.

Someone notices Edward's custom automail work, and seem to be really impressed by the Rockbells' nonstandard technique (presumably, this is why the brothers have stuck with them instead of moving on to someone better known), which results in them crowding in around him and tearing off his shirt. Because, um. That's a thing that they do, I guess. Unfortunately, at least one of them also takes the opportunity to rifle through Edward's pockets, and when he finally manages to push the crowd away his State Alchemist badge is gone.

One of the people who just accosted Edward tells him that this must be the work of Paninya, a notorious thief and pickpocket who targets visitors to Rush Valley. Apparently there's only one pickpocket in the entire city. Right. Sure. I'm supposed to believe that you didn't steal the damned thing yourself, guy who was literally groping Edward a second ago and is now weaving a highly improbable story? Really?


They try to extort more hands-on mechanical analysis out of Edward in exchange for telling him where "Paninya" went. So, apparently there's only one pickpocket in the entire city, and everyone knows where she lives. Oh come the fuck on. Edward menaces them with his armblade, and they finally tell him where they can find her; at an automail shop belonging to a guy named Dominic, who one of them presumably has a grudge against.

Christ on a bagel Edward, you're usually way smarter than this. ANY RANDOM PERSON would usually be way smarter than this. I guess dealing with Winry has really been taxing his mental fortitude.

Cut to the three of them walking along a mountain cliff in the middle of nowhere, far away from the town itself, because supposedly "Dominic" has an automail shop up in the mountains away from any road.

I can't. I quite simply can't.


OH GEE I DUNNO THEIR STORY SOUNDED CONVINCING ENOUGH TO ME

Just when I thought this episode couldn't get any more nonsensical, they then spot a young woman hurrying along a rope bridge across the gorge ahead of them and start giving chase.

...

Either this is a mixup and it's just some random lady hurrying for unrelated reasons, or else the townsfolk actually weren't fucking and there actually is only one pickpocket in the entire city, her name and address are common knowledge (and yet she isn't in jail because...?), and the two guys who we literally just saw groping Edward all over actually DIDN'T send him on a wild goose chase.

I really hope it's the former. In that case, while the episode still suffers from Edward, Alphonse, and Winry all being written as stupid and gullible to a character-assassinating degree, at least it's just one self contained derp moment. If those two guys were actually, unbelievably, telling the truth, then the plot of the entire episode is reduced to near gibberish. Not that it was off to such a great start even before this.

...

A moment later, my worst suspicions are confirmed, and we see that the girl is in fact holding Edward's badge. Fucking hell Arakawa, you know better than this shit (granted, this may be something the adaptation botched, but I somehow don't think so). ANYWAY, Edward starts earthbending his way up to her, and while she's obviously very physically fit and a fast runner, he closes the distance enough to raise a wall in front of her, and there's no outrunning that.

However, after taking a moment to be impressed at Edward's power, she averts that problem by parkouring along the wall and then launching herself back over Edward's head and fleeing back in the opposite direction, dodging more spells all the way.


Rather than make tracks though, she takes a moment to stop and taunt Edward. This is starting to seem like a setup rather than a theft. Like she and the guys back at the town are working together to lure him into some sort of trap. Hmm.

Well, if that IS what's going on, it still doesn't come to much, because running back that way leads her smack dab into Alphonse. And not by accident, either. Instead of lunging at her with his golem body as per his usual opening move, Alphonse had a big alchemical circle all drawn out and ready before, and activates it as soon as she steps inside. This is a nice touch, in an episode that's so far been sorely lacking in those. The Elrics have been chasing down criminals for a long time, so tactics like "one of us corner her, the other stay back and set a trap in case she changes directions" would probably be second nature to them at this point.

Paninya's fast, but she's not faster than a transmutation that's already been cast all around her.


I like the little birdcage hanging ring he added to the top just to add insult to injury. Well played, Al.

Unfortunately, they seem to have misjudged the entire nature of their opponent. Paninya's speed and jumping ability aren't just the result of training, and she proves herself willing to escalate to deadly force when cornered.


Fortunately, Edward dodges it, and as Paninya tries to escape she runs right by Winry. Her entire lower body might be automail, but her upper body strength is nothing special, so when Winry grabs her by the shoulder she's stopped in her tracks and nearly falls over.

Then Winry...um...I can barely even fucking believe this shit.

Winry tells her that she won't let her go unless...


Okay.

The wrench thing I could roll my eyes at and dismiss as not earnest. Winry not confessing to her mistake with Edward's arm and charging him for the repair was scummy as all hell, but I can kinda sorta maybe wave it off as the author just not thinking through the implications. But here, Winry has JUST seen this lady try to shoot Edward in the head with a firearm. And, she doesn't seem to care at all, or be holding it even slightly against the attempted murderess.

Aside from being the most clear and glaring Winry problem so far, this is another data point in what is quickly becoming a pattern. Winry does not care about Edward's life. She has now been consistently characterized as having no regard for his wellbeing except insofar as it conveniences her. She certainly talks a big game about worrying about him and Alphonse, and the show gives her the sensitive romantic music whenever she does so, but EVERY SINGLE TIME that she's had an opportunity to put those words into action she's chosen not to. And this time, unlike with the arm thing, it's not even a case of her valuing her professional reputation more than her alleged "friend." She just does not care if he lives or dies, at all, even without other concerns to weigh him against.

Which, I mean. That's not necessarily a problem in and of itself. Edward's a damaged person, and he might well cling onto one of the few people he still knows from before the accident regardless of how she treats him. But the show actually seems to want me to not only LIKE Winry, but to see Edward's relationship with her positively. And, I'm sorry, but this isn't just "two self-righteous assholes who are just awful enough to deserve each other" anymore. Edward has his antiheroic qualities, but he does NOT deserve a "friend" like Winry.

The door of the house that they apparently chased her up to opens, and...

...

My apologies. I abandoned my usual Let's Watch style at this point, and just finished the episode to get it over with as quickly as possible.

It's not that "Miracle at Rush Valley" is the most objectively bad thing I've reviewed. It's nowhere near that. But "Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood" is a show I've become invested in, and its main characters likewise. Normally I can sit back and get some enjoyment out of tearing a bad show apart, but in a case like this it just hurts me to do that. Another major factor is that, about the point where I stopped writing as I watched, I developed a very strong hunch that this was going to turn out to be a total filler episode. And, perhaps fortunately, I was completely right.

The long and short of this episode is "Winry moves to Rush City." Absolutely nothing else that happened in it is of any consequence whatsoever. If the story had just done the sensible thing from the beginning and had Winry bid goodbye to the brothers as soon as the train stopped at Rush Valley, nothing would be any different. The actual chain of events in the episode is that Dominic the eccentric automail genius' family answers the door. We find out Peninya is a sort of adoptive daughter/guinea pig of his. Winry tells Peninya that stealing is wrong, and Peninya says she won't steal anymore. Then another family member who we have had zero time to get to know or any reason whatsoever to care about goes into labor, and the episode tries to hang dramatic tension on Winry helping the delivery. Winry also does the equivalent of breaking into a locked safe to read Edward's diary, WITH the girl who robbed and shot at him, and we're clearly not supposed to see this as yet another huge black mark against her. Nothing is ever a black mark against Winry, she has unlimited license by the creators to do absolutely anything without being judged for it. Edward finally, after all the bullshit with the pregnant lady I have no reason to care about is over, gets his badge back. He and Winry have a romantic moment that would have been much more enjoyable if he'd set her on fire at the end of it, and Winry gets recommended by Dominic for an apprenticeship with one of his local colleagues for her help with the delivery. Edward and Alphonse leave on the next train for the actual goddamned plot (it's not clear why they left then and not before, but who cares nothing about that even tried to make sense). The end. The Rush Valley locals who this story introduces us to could just as easily have befriended Winry offscreen after she gets off the train by herself, and we'd lose nothing if we met them later on when she's already done so.


I did some poking around on the net. While this episode isn't unanimously considered to be the worst of the entire show, that certainly seems to at least be a popular opinion. At best, it's empty filler with only some low brow comedy and a little bit of romantic development between Edward and Winry (and even THAT could have been worked into the train ride itself) to justify its screentime. At worst, its a nonsensical, incoherent, suspense-breaking digression that makes most of the characters look awful, pathetic, or both. Everything about it screams "desperation to meet publishing deadlines," with all the thoughtlessness and serial asspulls that that usually entails. I guess I can think of this episode as the steep price for getting rid of Winry for a while. Or as her realizing she's about to be written out of the story for some time, and trying to make it as bad as possible while she still can, like a bee using its last moments of life to drive its stinger home. Either way, watching the brothers finally say goodbye to her again was easily the best part of "Miracle at Rush Valley."

So. Hands down the worst episode so far of FMA:B, no question about it. Hopefully it'll stay that way, at least for the next few weeks. I still have two more episodes of Symphogear to get through, and unless that show makes a surprise turnaround it's going to be rough without some quality FMA:B as a respite in between them.
 
Symphogear S1E3: Passing In the Night
Alright. Back to Symphogear, where we'll have to start with a partial redress of my rather embarrassing mistake at the end of the previous episode. On one hand, I should have just admitted to not being sure what Tsubasa meant when she said "let's fight" instead of peeking ahead at the start of the following ep, which led me to make the wrong conclusion.

But, in my own defense: if I hadn't done that, I would just be confused now instead of back then.

After episode two ended on that open ended challenge, episode three starts with a montage of battles between the girls and the Noise, taking place in a variety of environments over the following weeks. Tsubasa is slicing and dicing her way through crowds of enemies. Hibiki is just barely managing to defend herself. We then cut to Yoda watching this all on video (where the hell are the cameras he's using? Maybe Section 2 dug up a Great Old One scrying device or something), and bemoaning the fact that even a month after Hibiki's recruitment, she and Tsubasa still aren't getting along or working as a team.

First of all, there's some really clumsy visual storytelling here. The footage shows Tsubasa kicking ass and Hibiki struggling, but at no point do we see anything that communicates them failing to cooperate. It's all just close up shots of one girl or the other, without enough context to see how well or badly they're coordinating. I guess we'll just have to take Yoda's word for it, which is kind of a tall order given how unimpressive his judgement has been so far.

The bigger issue though, is that this opening is very, very hard to square with episode 2's ending. If Tsubasa meant "let's fight" in a friendly way, as her expression and voice acting suggested, then it would be weird for them to still be having trouble getting along. If she meant it in a hostile way, as her pose and the buildup to that moment suggested, then why the hell is this episode starting with anything besides that fight? Way to suck all the tension out of a potential cliffhanger.​


Roll the generic, visually and musically unexceptional intro. Then open on Hibiki and Best Character Miku in their dormroom, toiling away on their homework. Hibiki is falling asleep as she works, due to the exhaustion of being meguka as well as student. Miku is concerned about this, as one might expect.

And then, NOW for some fucking reason, we flash back to Tsubasa challenging Miku to fight a month prior.

-_-

Going back to that scene, I'm reminded of another detail that confused me. Tsubasa saying "let's fight" was preceded immediately by Hibiki asking, in a pleading tone of voice, "can we fight?" So, yeah. Tsubasa's reply really could have meant either thing.

As the exchange continues beyond that point though, it becomes very clear that Tsubasa DID, in fact, mean that she's challenging Hibiki to a duel.

Realizing that both his dogs have gone off the leash now, Yoda leaves the base and hurries over to stop this idiocy before it has serious consequences. Which is exactly what I wish the Japanese government would have done with him, but baby steps.

Holy fucking shit I was right before about Tsubasa having had a full psychotic break. "I cannot tolerate your existence" is pretty hard to interpret as anything besides "I plan to literally murder you." She isn't deterred by Hibiki saying she doesn't want to fight. Or even by her saying that she doesn't even know how to conjure her symphogear's weapon component to properly fight back.

...which is one more reason that Yoda and Co should have actually stopped her from chasing Tsubasa into battle instead of just ineffectually screaming after her. It's not like they've demonstrated any hesitance to restrain her in the past for much pettier reasons. But no, I guess command structure and discipline just aren't that important for the field agents of this top secret and nationally vital agency.

...

Hey, jackasses. What would you have done if Hibiki, acting on more of the recklessness she just demonstrated, changed her mind on the way to the battlefield and decided to go show off her symphogear to everyone in the city? There's a reason why "top secret" and "unwilling to reign in your impulsive field agents" are not fucking compatible.

...

Undeterred by Hibiki being unable to summon her weapon and seemingly unwilling to do so even if she could, Tsubasa leaps into the air and does that giant sword conjuring attack that she normally reserves for kaiju-sized opponents.

Fortunately for Hibiki, Yoda arrives just in time and uses a force push to block the giant sword less than two meters away from Hibiki.​


I'm guessing whatever archaeotech he's wielding is very powerful, but not designed for use against Noise and therefore no better able to damage them than human weapons. It's either that, or me being left wondering why the fuck he's sending teenagers out to do this instead of fighting the Noise himself. So yeah, I'm going to charitably go with the first assumption for now.

Tsubasa also refers to him as "uncle" as he stops her. Which could either be a nickname they have for him, or mean that he's literally her uncle. Interesting.

Also, the girls are back in their school uniforms now, for some reason. The last time we saw them un-transform, it took a few minutes of calming down after the battle was over. Here, Tsubasa is in a murderous rage and just got knocked back in the middle of an attack by Yoda's interception, while Hibiki is terrified and has no idea what's going to happen next, so "calming down" is not exactly likely for either. Maybe the big force attack that Yoda just used also shuts down nearby symphogears or something, idk.

Anyway, he starts asking Tsubasa wtf, but then stops when he sees that she's crying, and instead starts acting concerned. Um. Dude. She just tried to fucking murder your new recruit. As he tries to get her to say what the hell is going on with her, Hibiki cluelessly walks up and apologizes for being useless in a fight (but not for disobeying orders...), and says that she just hopes that one day she can live up to Jinn's legacy.

Tsubasa's reaction is predictable.

Flash back/forward to Hibiki being worried over by Miku in their dorm room. Still no idea why the show did this flashback thing instead of just depicting these events chronologically. Hibiki is musing over the fact that Tsubasa was crying when she punched her. Why is she thinking about this now, nearly a month later, when she's collapsing of exhaustion? Who cares. Well, maybe some people do, but neither the writers nor myself are part of that demographic.

Cut over to Tsubasa, who's meditating over her sword in some kind of shrine while being haunted by a mental clipshow of Jinn's death scene a few months I MEAN TWO YEARS ago. There's some new footage of Jinn's last words before she finishes disintegrating in Tsubasa's arms. Something about how singing really hard makes you hungry, which...may be a metaphor or foreshadowing or something, or it may just be the rambling train of thought of a dying girl. Tsubasa screams and cries a bunch more before we return to the present.

This show really likes teenaged lesbians crying over their dead lovers. Every single episode so far has had at least one full scene dedicated to it, featuring two different couples and counting. That's another data point I'm filing away for later. We're 66.67% of the way to establishing a rather troubling pattern in Symphogear's portrayal of female sexuality.

Anyway, Tsubasa then solemnly reminds herself that Jinn died because she wasn't strong enough to pull her own weight in battle. I disagree, but survivor's guilt isn't exactly rational even among saner people than Tsubasa, so this is believable enough. We then return to Hibiki and Miku. Miku reminds Hibiki that they wanted to go see the meteor shower soon, and Hibiki won't be able to do that if she's too exhausted to do her homework and lets it build up. She promises that she'll find a way to work through it all in time, and then silently admonishes herself that she needs to learn to hold it together better.

Hmm. If I was Hibiki, I think I'd just quit school, at least temporarily. I can only assume that Section 2 pays a lot better than whatever job Hibiki was hoping to get after music school (and even if they normally don't, Hibiki's in a pretty good bargaining position considering that they don't seem sure if they could get the Grugnir shards to work in a different host if they extracted them), and this way she's free to devote as much of her time as she likes to training while still having enough to sleep and enjoy a private life to keep herself sane. She can always resume her studies later; any academic or bureaucratic difficulties this might normally create are irrelevant since Section 2 literally owns the school.

Well, regardless of what she should have been doing up until now, the exhausted Hibiki arrives at the meeting she was summoned to at HQ. Not in chains, this time. Which makes sense! They handcuff and drag her around up until the moment when she disobeys orders and does something reckless, and then trust her to handle herself from that point onward. Not backwards at all. Anyway, Yoda, Glasses, and Tsubasa are already in the conference room. Yoda starts the meeting by showing them a map with recent Noise attack sites highlighted, and then asks Hibiki what she knows about the Noise.

Her answer, after having worked for Section 2 and been regularly deployed for nearly a month:​


...

Okay. So, pacing your story's exposition. This is actually a subject that's been on my mind a lot recently, thanks to the JoJo AU fic I'm working on.
Fish-out-of-water protagonists are a good audience surrogate for explaining your complicated magic system and world building to, but there are some easy mistakes to make with them. Basically, you need to have your newbie hero learning this stuff onscreen for the audience's benefit, but if you do too much of it too fast you'll overwhelm or even bore the audience. On the other hand, if your hero has a knowledgeable mentor figure to fill them in on all this stuff, you need to have a good justification for said mentor not just telling them everything immediately. Why would the characters wait for the audience's benefit?

The solution my coauthor and I arrived at was basically to take the hero's own data processing ability and sanity into account, while also limiting their opportunities to have proper, sit-down lessons from the mentor. This means drip-feeding the worldbuilding stuff to the audience surrogate hero over the course of their first few adventures, with the mentor teaching it to them as fast as they think they can handle it all. And, since the hero's first few adventures also do a lot of character and plot stuff, there's plenty of meat and spectacle in between the setting guide bits. And, I think that's really what Symphogear should have done.

Skipping a month ahead after episode 2's cliffhanger ending was obviously a poor dramatic decision, but now I think it might have been a poor structural one as well. Hibiki's first few days on the job should be important, no? We'd get to see how the organization handles Hibiki's insubordination and Tsubasa's violent breakdown. We'd see Hibiki making her first few attempts at balancing her civilian and meguka lives, and a much more detailed and sympathetic perspective of her poor first few showings against the Noise. Whatever reconciliation arc she and Tsubasa are going to have could get its start here. And, in each of these 2-3 episodes, we could also get a little more exposition about the Noise, the Great Old One artifacts, the history of Section 2, etc, as Hibiki is taught this information as fast as Yoda thinks she (and the audience) can handle it.

But when you cut a month ahead without doing any of this, you're just getting the worst of both worlds. Are we supposed to believe that Hibiki and Tsubasa's relationship has been static ever since Yoda interrupted Tsubasa's assault? What repercussions did she face for that? Did she not face any at all? I'd normally disregard that possibility out of hand, but the amount of criminal negligence we've seen from Section 2 and its commander so far makes me unable to rule it out. Have they actually been having Hibiki fight for them for nearly a MONTH without teaching her anything beyond the general public knowledge about the enemy she's fighting? Did she not ASK them these questions at any point in those weeks? Has Tsubasa lashed out at her again in that time? If not, why not? If so, what sort of slightly-less-hostile interactions have they had?

This is all way, way easier to grock if you completely ignore this episode's opening scene and pretend that this is two days later or whatever.

...

Anyway, she lists the publicly known facts about the Noise. They're emotionless, like machines (HOW THE FUCK DO PEOPLE KNOW THAT? The only way you could possibly learn that is using empathic sensors like Section 2's, and that shit is all supposed to be classified for whatever reason. So, WTF?). They only attack humans, destroying other things only when they get in the way. Their victims turn to ash. They appear in groups out of nowhere, at seemingly random times and places, and immediately start hunting. They're considered a major, ongoing global disaster. That's all.
Yoda smiles and says he's proud of her, as that's more than he expected her to know. I'm pretty sure he's just being condescending here. Other than them being emotionless (which I don't know how anyone is supposed to have learned), this all seems like stuff that everyone in the world who has TV and/or internet access should know by now. Glasses McRapey then informs us that the Noise were first addressed as a major crisis thirteen years ago, but that there have been occasional encounters since antiquity, with many of humanity's demon and monster myths likely being inspired by them.

Their modern escalation seems to have been triggered by the Japanese government's unearthing of another Old One artifact called Durandal. While the Noise strikes all over the world, their attacks are more frequent the closer you get to Japan, where Durandal is being kept in a vault below this very facility. Why haven't they moved it out onto the middle of the ocean to minimize civilian casualties? Because fuck you, that's why. They don't know what Durandal actually does besides attract Noise though; they didn't have the knowhow to activate it until much more recently, and now the American government is demanding access to the artifact and threatening consequences of some kind if Japan activates it unilaterally. Why haven't they been granting access to the Americans, given the ongoing global impact of the artifact's discovery? Because fuck you, that's why.

Yoda also says something about how "this has been going on since the incident two years ago." Despite having earlier said that the Noise has been attacking on this scale for thirteen years, and that Durandal's recovery was what started it. Is he talking about the stadium incident? Was the artifact they had hooked up to the psychic collector under the stadium Durandal? I went back and looked and...no, Yoda referred to that one as the "Armor of Nehushtan." So, what did that botched artifact activation or containment or whatever the hell they were doing attempt have to do with Durandal, and what's been going on ever since? I don't know, and I'm not sure if this is the localization's fault or the actual script's.

He also says that someone's been trying to hack Section 2's servers pretty relentlessly lately, and that they suspect the Americans. This is said very ominously. Those dastardly Americans, trying to learn more about the thing that's making monsters appear out of nowhere and kill random people. If Japan wants to keep the thing causing this global devastation to itself out of sheer pigheadedness, then everyone else should let them. :I
Hibiki also throws out this bizarre hypothesis that the Americans are actually the ones responsible for summoning the Noise and sending it to steal Durandal for them. Which...well, I guess its not beyond the realm of possibility, but it's such an insane leap of logic, and yet Yoda and Co don't react as if that's an insane leap at all. But like...if the Noise has been attacking ever since they found the artifact, then the most obvious explanation is that they're attacking BECAUSE THE ARTIFACT WAS FOUND, not because another group of humans who you have no reason to think have Noise-summoning abilities became inexplicably determined to steal it. Maybe they do have more evidence implicating Uncle Sam, but if so this is when they should acknowledge this, yeah?

It's also implied that they keep the Symphogears a secret for fear of what foreign actors like the Americans might do. Which, well, again. I can understand keeping the identities of the girls a secret, but the very same scene makes it seem like those foreign governments already know about their existence, so...?

The meeting adjourns, and we follow Tsubasa as she leaves with the Section 2 mook who doubles as her musical career agent. He tells her that that English speaking record company still wants her answer, and she angrily tells him that she still isn't interested, because...

Because...

Um.


Is Tsubasa saying that every single performance of her entire musical career was just for fighting?

I'm assuming that by "fight" she means "contributing to the war effort." I assume that the incident two years ago was unusual, and that her onstage appearances don't normally turn into Noise battles. I'm guessing usually its just for the purpose of getting an audience worked up so that Section 2 can harvest their psychic output or whatever it is they do. But, really? Every performance of her career? What about the Japanese studio recordings? Was that just to build a fanbase so that more people would come to the live shows where they can be harnessed? And even if so, wouldn't building an international audience help ensure a continual power supply in the event that she falls out of favor in the Japanese music scene?

Then again, this is the girl who tried to murder her teammate for no reason. And the organization that doesn't seem to have reprimanded her for this in any way. What should I even expect from these miserable human trainwrecks at this point?

Agent guy asks her if she's upset. She says that no, she is merely a blade, a weapon, and a weapon has no feelings that can be upset. His retort is "then how are you able to sing?" The more obvious comeback would have been "then how were you able to flip out and try to murder Hibiki?," but I guess agent guy has better survival instincts than that.

In the Section 2 lounge, Hibiki is sitting next to Glasses for some reason. She asks her why humans keep on fighting other humans. This makes her seem like a precious and pure snowflake waifu, rather than a five year old in a teenaged body, I assure you. Glasses replies with the assertion that humanity is cursed, and then leans in and nibbles on Hibiki's ear.​






Hibiki.

Hibiki.

Transform. Transform right now, and impale this person through the throat. The longer you wait, the worse it's going to get, and Yoda's failure to respond in any way to the first such incident (which took place right in front of him) strongly suggests that he either won't believe you or won't care if you go to him about this escalation. She's going to keep escalating, and you're going to lose your self esteem and dignity until you're too weak to resist her anymore.

I might not exactly like you, Hibiki, but I don't dislike you nearly enough to wish this on you. So please, do both of us a favor, and give Glasses an impromptu tracheotomy while you still have it in you.​


Also, you can kill those two when you're done.

We then cut to a completely unrelated scene, and I legitimately have no idea if I was meant to find that last sequence horrifying or comical.

-_-

Cut to Hibiki in music class, being understandably distracted, and then to Hibiki and her friends outside. Hibiki is telling the others that she's struggling to finish her essay by this afternoon so she can accompany them on whatever fun thing they're planning to do. A repeat offender tells her that there's no way in hell she'll be able to manage that, because:​


Okay, I changed my mind Hibiki. Kill her instead.

The other girls mercifully leave, with only Miku staying behind with Hibiki. She helps Hibiki finish her essay, and Hibiki hands it in. Late, but the teacher says she'll accept it just this once. I would ask why Hibiki hasn't at least been given a special permit of some sort that gives her extra leniency with deadlines and class schedules, but given the culture of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse toward the girls that Section 2 has displayed I'm pretty sure they just like making them suffer. Honestly, I'm getting some "The Graduate" vibes from this show, with the array of hypocritical, manipulative adults who are simultaneously possessive and resentful of youths with potential that they themselves lack. Anyway, as evening descends, the two prepare to go watch the meteor shower together like they'd hoped to, but then Hibiki gets paged; there's a noise attack.

She excuses herself for a moment, and then vanishes without explanation. Leaving Miku sad, alone, and more worried than ever for Hibiki. When she calls her, Hibiki just says that "something came up" and bids her goodbye.​

Being meguka's gf is suffering.
On the other end of the call, Hibiki is standing in a subway entrance, and the station below is packed with Noise who just sort of stand there waiting for her to hang up before engaging. Hibiki transforms, and what follows is easily the best fight scene of Symphogear thus far.

First of all, Hibiki's singing voice has improved. It's still not good, exactly, but it's not nearly as bad as last time. I don't know if this was an intentional production decision to reflect Hibiki's growing experience or not, but either way it makes the scene a lot more enjoyable. Second, the claustrophobic subway station environment provides an interesting contrast to the open rooftop and highway battles we've been seeing so far. And, in an inversion of the usual monster hunting tropes, this terrain clearly favors the single, powerful heroine over the densely-packed demons who have no room to dodge, hide, or fuse into anything very large. Especially when she displays a bit more intelligence than usual and uses choke points to her advantage.. I still think it would have been better if we actually had an episode or two of Hibiki's first couple of missions, so the jump from her barely even defending herself to her wholesale slaughtering the Noise would be less jarring and we'd see how she learns and adapts, but still, the scene works.
Of course, it wouldn't be much of a "fight" scene if Hibiki was effortlessly purging the subway station, and she isn't. Even with her terrain advantage, the Noise sometimes manage to outflank and temporarily overwhelm her, and there's one point where a tougher Noise creature with explosive attacks collapse part of the ceiling on her and it really looks like she might lose. So, the tension is maintained.

The best part, though, isn't just that Hibiki is fighting smart for once, but that - for the first time in the show so far - we actually see her getting angry. Missing the shooting stars and Miku was just the last straw, and now all the resentment, frustration, and fear that's been building up over the past month comes out as she uses the Noise as a surrogate for her tormentors. She cackles maniacally, her face and armor literally darkening as if her symphogear is absorbing her hate and rage and using that to power itself once she stops singing and starts just screaming and laughing.​
Okay, it looks super dumb, but in context it manages to be effective despite that.
The battle turns into a chase, as she wipes out the initial throng and then pursues the tougher, explosion-causing demon (which can also spawn lesser Noise to cover its trail, it seems) into the train tunnel. It's ultimately forced to blast the subway tunnel open and flee out onto the surface to escape her, which demonstrates more self-preservation instinct than the Noise has displayed so far. Is this unit actually smarter or more self-aware than the others? Or is its "programming" just telling it to prioritize its own survival at the moment as part of a broader tactical agenda? Either way, this is the most intelligence we've seen from Noise up until now, whether it's they themselves doing the thinking or something else that controls them.

Hibiki isn't sure how to pursue it up the vertical escape tunnel it just blasted, when she sees a shooting star cross the sky overhead through it. However, because the universe loves to shit on Hibiki, it ends up being something considerably less reassuring than the meteor shower she'd wanted to watch.

Tsubasa dive bombs the fleeing demon and destroys it, along with the surrounding section of city park, with her landing. Hibiki tries to talk to her once again. Tsubasa looks like she's about to either brush her off or try to attack her again, when both their attentions are called away by a new meguka who strides toward them through the park. She's wearing a symphogear conjured from the Armor of Nehushtan that covers everything except underboob.​


God fucking damnit Yoda I'll bet that's because you screwed it up when you blew up that stadium with it.


Anyway, that's the end of the episode. My engagement definitely increased in the last ten minutes or so, when I realized what the writers were actually going for. The show still suffers from the clumsy temporal cuts and pacing and from the shallow and often contradictory worldbuilding, but the emotional core its building up manages to shine through despite these (admittedly significant) flaws. Section 2 comes across as a really unsettling representation of the institutional exploitation and abuse that thrive in authoritarian organizations, especially in how it seems to survive by causing the girls to lash out at either each other or at the Noise in lieu of their real antagonists. It's honestly a pretty effective commentary on not only police culture specifically, but about how social elites shape and manipulate their subjects' resentment to just tighten their grip even harder. They even managed to work nationalist demagoguery in there, which has been growing more relevant by the year in recent times.

Well, hopefully episode 4 is when Hibiki and Miku go full "Thelma & Louise." I'm looking forward!​
 
Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood S1E12: One is All, All is One
That's a promising title, though I suppose it may be a red herring. Either way, this episode kind of has to be better than the one preceding it. Anyway, there's no "last time on" or principles of alchemy blurb this time, we just start with the OP. Probably means this episode is going to have a lot packed into it.

Take it away, Yui.~ ♫

The episode itself begins with the brothers on the train to Dublith, and Edward waking up from a vexing dream. Said dream features a brief glimpse of the mysterious blonde bearded man from the OP who I've long suspected was the Elrics' father, and Edward's description of the dream to a concerned Alphonse ("I was dreaming about him") strongly suggests that I was correct.

...

.....

Wait just a second.

Lust and Envy keep talking about "the father."

It could be that the story is just building a thematic parallel between the heroes and villains. Both parties have a distant or absent father whose legacy defines them, and directly or indirectly gives them their objectives. But...well, given that Daddy Elric is supposed to have been one of the bestest alchemists ever, this could literally turn out to be a Darth Vader situation. Could the Sins and the brothers be...I guess half siblings, of a sort?

Hmm. Back in "Rain of Sorrows," the way that Lust and Envy were talking about humans made it sound like they were at least a few of our generations old. I guess it's possible that Daddy Elric is also some kind of immortal (maybe using protostone to delay his aging, somehow?), but that's kind of a stretch without more evidence. So yeah, PROBABLY just a thematic parallel, rather than Edward and Alphonse's own dad actually being the BBEG.

...

They arrive in Dublith, which proves to be a smallish town surrounded by scenic forest. I'm guessing this is a slightly wetter part of the country, which...well, we know there are deserts along the eastern border, and most of the story so far has been either in the East province or Central, so that makes sense. Maybe South province is nearer to the coast? I wonder if there's a world or at least continent map of this setting.


They nervously approach the teacher's door, and upon their knocking a terrifying giant of a man with a blood-covered apron and a dripping knife in his hand emerges. The camera then zooms out to reveal that they're visiting the local butcher, who they've met before. You and your fakeouts, Arakawa, I swear.

I thought their teacher only moved here more recently though? Dublith is in South Province, which...well, it might not actually be that far from Resembool, if both towns happen to be near the provincial border. Maybe it's only a short train ride between the two places, and the teacher lived here all along? No, wait, on the map it looked like Dublith was pretty much due south from Central. Not sure what the story is, with when the boys visited here in the past and whether their teacher was originally closer to them (and if she wasn't, why didn't they just find a closer teacher?).

Ohhh, I see. The butcher is alchemy teacher Izumi's husband, and has been since she coached the brothers. Aw, that's cute. I hope they named their store "Meat & Magic" or something.

Anyway, meat husbando is a bit confused at Alphonse having grown into a massive, heavily armored knight while Edward's only grown a little, but he doesn't say anything. Izumi is laying in bed, not feeling well. However, when she hears who has come to visit her, she forces herself out of bed, marches out the door, and antifas Edward right in the face for signing up with Jean Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg's war crimes unit.


Well, that's an interesting twist! When the brothers expressed reservations about seeing Izumi again after "what they've done," I assumed they were talking about what they did to their bodies. But, no, that's not actually it, or at least not the worst part of it. And, nice, we're finally going to learn what the non-state alchemist scene is like, and how things have changed for the worse since Emperor Devil Dragon God Gava took over. She then lures Alphonse into a false sense of security before bowling him over as well.

Edward asks her wtf isn't she supposed to be sick, and she vehemently denies it right before coughing up blood. Her husband has to practically force her to return to the bedroom lay back down.

Somehow, in an offscreen segment that really shouldn't have been offscreen, they end up sitting around the table together. Izumi no longer bleeding from the mouth, and willing to talk to them now if grudgingly. Not sure how this happened. Feels very rushed/compressed.


She tells them that she knows nothing about any philosopher's stone, and that the only person she met who seems to have known anything substantive on the subject was an alchemist named Hohenheim. Who she apparently didn't realize was the boys' father.

I wonder. Did he never share his family name with his colleagues? Or...maybe "Elric" ISN'T actually his last name.

Probability of Daddy Elric being a villain, if perhaps not the villain, rising.

She's seen him at least once since he stopped visiting or sending any letters home. The brothers haven't been sure if he was even still alive, but now it seems that, yeah, he is, and COULD have come back to them if he wanted to. Either to try and prevent his wife's death, or at least to console his sons after it. Edward's opinion of his father is not improving, and while Alphonse is more quiet about it I get the impression he's not any less angry.

Flashback time!

The last time the brothers ever saw Hohenheim, he left the house early in the morning, earlier than Trisha expected them to be awake. And they didn't make a point of waking them to see their father off for god knows how long. Honheim didn't even hug them goodbye, and frankly it comes across as him never hugging or even talking to them when he could help it as a general principle. Why this guy even wanted children is a good question at this point. Maybe Trisha just wasn't willing to compromise.


For the next several years until her death, Trisha Elric would say nothing about Hohenheim's whereabouts or return except that he'd be back "soon." Nor would she let her creepy-ass Stepford Wives smile go for so much as a second when anyone was looking. Edward, at least, was getting some dishonest vibes from her all along, but being a little kid there's not much he could do to even contextualize much less act on these misgivings. In Hohenheim's absence, and with Trisha being as zonked out and disassociated as she was, there was no one to keep the boys from teaching themselves alchemy from the former's abandoned library. Then Trisha fell ill, and the rest is history.

Back in the present, Alphonse asks for more information about Hohenheim's knowledge of the philosopher's stone. Izumi replies that he was downright obsessed with it, and that he had a long-held desire related to it that he was overjoyed about the near fruition of.

Ooooookay, yeah, that's supervillain talk if ever there was. "Long-held" ambition also feels like it might be a hint here. How long are we talking about? One of philosopher's stones most famous folkloric traits is its ability to grant near-immortality. Maybe protostone can give you back a few decades with each use, at least up to a point? If he figured out how to make THAT at some point during his natural lifespan...

...

Protostone requires an unspecified, but implicitly large, number of human sacrifices to produce. A true philosopher's stone, capable of granting actual factual immortality with no need for further procedures, might require a similar but much larger sacrifice. Say, an entire nation state, perhaps?

I'm not saying that the Elrics' father is a secret lich king who has bound the embodiment of the seven deadly sins themselves to serve his ruinous will. I'm just saying that it's a reasonable hypothesis based on the available evidence.

...

After musing about this for a minute, Izumi bashes the fash again before ruefully offering them dinner. Meat, of course, given her husband's profession. I have to say, I have a much greater tolerance for Izumi's physical abuse of Edward than I have for Winry's. For one thing, the show is doing a much better job of keeping all that stuff super deformed and slapstick, and not having it occur in what should logically be a deadly situation. For another, well...even if it WASN'T for the cartooniness, she just has a way, way, WAY better reason to want to beat the shit out of Edward than Winry does. If I was a conscientious objector who's seen my country become increasingly brutal and authoritarian and my own scientist subculture forcibly militarized under Shadow Beast Kimkoh's rule, and my star pupil went and became one of his enforcers the moment I let him out of my sight, well...I would probably react exactly the way she did, no cartoonish stylism needed.

It's a reminder that, for all his likable qualities, Edward is still in many ways an antihero. The first two episodes communicated this pretty frankly, but it's been a while since we've had a reminder.

At dinner, Alphonse deflects the questions about why he isn't eating in his usual way. Edward tries to change the subject to that baby they helped deliver at Rush Valley, but Izumi has no more patience for that subplot than I did, and instantly turns it around on them with a barbed comment about making sure their own lives are worthy ones. Izumi MVP. Cut to the Elrics in bed, either at an inn or (less likely, I think, given how reluctant Izumi was to aid them without her more apolitical husband's weedling) guestroom, and another flashback.

There's a big rainstorm causing a river to flood, and babby Edward and Alphonse are watching some men struggle to build a sandbag levy against it. When the wall breaks and everyone starts fleeing from the encroaching flood, Izumi strides out of the crowd of onlookers and uses the same move we've seen Edward employ throughout the show, forming a circle with her arms and raising a rectangular barrier of stone to plug the hole and then replace the entire sandbag wall with a much sturdier levy. I imagine she'd been on her way to do this from the beginning, but just started hurrying faster once the wall broke.


I'm reminded of earlier in "An Alchemist's Anguish," when I mused on how much vital alchemy is to this industrial society. Feats like this would have many, many more applications than just disaster relief and creating cover in a gunfight. A team of powerful alchemists could literally build a city in a day. Why bother with bulldozers, quarries, and cranes when you could invest the same amount of resources into training more alchemists? I suppose its possible that alchemical constructs like these aren't permanent, which would definitely limit their utility. But still, even then, the potential industrial applications are immense. How reliant is society at large on alchemy, then, and if the answer is "not very" then how could that have come about?

One possible answer is that alchemy IS more fundamental to industry and general lifestyle in most parts of the world. We might be looking at a deliberately impoverished North Korea of a state where inferior mechanical solutions are increasingly needed to pick up the slack due to Gomeramos King impressing most alchemists into military roles.

Also, Izumi had her occasional fits of bloody vomiting even back then. Guess this is a chronic condition that comes and goes.

Once she's finished building the floodwall, the Elric children run up to her and ask to be taken on as apprentices. She initially rebuffs them, but is persuaded when she finds out that they're orphans and also really adorable. She isn't normally an alchemy TEACHER at all. Just the first powerful alchemist that the boys happened to meet after Trisha's death. Wow.

Speaking of wow, some time later she deposits them on an island somewhere with just a knife, and tells them that they need to survive for one month without using alchemy. How that's supposed to teach them TO use alchemy, I'm really not sure, but she says that the lesson she's trying to teach them is that "one is all, and all are one."

So much for having mercy on the cute orphans.


Izumi's husband (now named as Sig) later asks her if she's sure this was a good idea. She replies that this is the best and only good way to learn the essential mentality behind alchemy, and that if they're not able to rise to the challenge it means they don't have much potential. Sig asks "okay but what if they die tho" while deftly catching a knife that she playfully throws at his head. She retorts that don't worry, there's plenty of stuff to eat on that island, it's not like her own training when she had to survive in a snowy wasteland and fight bears. Sig says that what worked for Izumi isn't neccessarily the best idea for normal people, but she's unconvinced.

...

It's been pointed out to me that in the original manga, and in the first anime adaptation, this scenario was SIGNIFICANTLY different. Specifically, Izumi secretly left an agent of hers in the forest with them. Both to serve as an antagonist they'd have to compete against, and - more importantly - to rescue them if they're seriously about to die. As such, the conversation between Izumi and Sig was just characterizing Sig as a big softy who worries about the kids even when they aren't in real danger, while portraying Izumi as a harsh but responsible teacher.

It's kind of amazing that they left that conversation between the two of them in "Brotherhood," but cut the part about the secret referee. It completely changes the framing so that now Sig seems like the reasonable one, and Izumi seems batshit insane. This seriously affected my enjoyment and analysis of the episode when I first saw it; the original version of this review on Patreon is proof of this.

There's a comic shop that has the complete FMA manga as a single volume for a reasonable price. I'm thinking I need to buy it just to check the stuff that Brotherhood adapts, because this adaptation is starting to seriously lose credibility with me. The excuse that they were just rushing through the early material to get to the unadapted stuff doesn't really help my viewing experience, and it doesn't even really hold water when you remember that they devoted a full episode to the lame Rush Valley filler arc.

...

Back on the island, the brothers manage to catch a rabbit, but can't bring themselves to kill it. While they're agonizing over this, a fox runs by and snatches the trapped rabbit. The brothers give chase, only to see the fox feed its stolen catch to its own equally adorable cubs...who the boys ooh and ah over in turn until they start tearing the rabbit apart with their little jaws. Nature is not letting them off easy.

After four days with ramshackle shelter and no success at foraging and firemaking, the boys are getting desperate.


Things get to their lowest point when, after a week of this, a delirious Edward almost takes a bite out of Alphonse. Fortunately, after Al throws him off, he happens to spot a column of ants marching across the forest floor, and makes a quick readjustment to Homo spp.'s original omnivorous forager niche.

The creepy "Lurking" theme starts playing as Edward pecks away at the ants. Hmm.

Their taste is sour, but they reenergize him a bit. The sour physical taste is only matched by the accompanying mental one, as he realizing that he is alive only because he kills. And that the only reason he and Alphonse never had to kill before is because they always had someone else to do it for them.

Now that they have even a slight caloric intake, the brothers find the energy and determination to figure out proper firemaking, and the ruthlessness to kill larger animals as a matter of course. They even catch enough surplus meat to bribe the local fox family into being petable. As their month on the island draws to a close, the brothers thoroughly conquer the environment. During their final night at camp, Edward tells Alphonse that he thinks he's figured out Izumi's riddle about all being one and one being all. When he looked at those ants and first started eating them, what he really was realizing was that those ants were going to start eating them within the day. Depending on the species, they might not have even waited until they were fully dead. The foxes, likewise, would have been glad for the meat windfall, and it's entirely possible they would have still been conscious enough to feel it when the mother fox tore off her first mouthful to bring home to the cute pups. The rabbit wouldn't have eaten them. But it would have happily benefited from their deaths, eating the newly fertilized grass as it sprang up from around their skeletons without a single pang of remorse or empathy.

Going even further than that, Edward muses, the continuity of material in the universe transcends mere biology. The island they're on was once a patch of sea floor, or a mountaintop, or a mass of magma, and will be all those things again. Carbon is mineralized into rocks, released into atmospheric fumes, and assimilated by plants which are eaten by animals which turn back into fumes and soil, some of which is then remineralized. Edward isn't sure what to call it, exactly - the universe, or the world - but it is a constant process of exchange that is also themselves. In short, everything that exists is raw materials for every other thing that exists, or could exist. Edward and Alphonse are like a pair of the ants that Edward ate. Or, though unspoken, like the pair of fox cubs that we earlier saw wrestling each other in a manner reminiscent of the boys. Nothing is separate. Nothing possesses value except by virtue of what it contains and can be converted into.

He also stops juuuust short of explicitly saying what the universe has been clearly demonstrating. A temporary configuration of matter is of little importance AS its current configuration even if it's alive. Or cute. Or sentient. Even if you also happen to love and make a pet of it. And really, everyone already knows that. We'd have all starved otherwise. At any rate, this is the mentality an alchemist has to be acutely conscious of in order to be at all inventive or adaptive in their craft.

The next day, Izumi and Sig come to retrieve them. Izumi is amused at their answer to her riddle, but seemingly pleased, and agrees to start their proper training.


It's not actually just a quirky coincidence that their teacher's kindly, mild mannered husband runs a butcher shop, is it?

Cut ahead, to a time period (how long, exactly? It isn't clear) that the boys spent as live-in students of Izumi's. She's teaching them the basics of alchemical circles, which form a matrix of, essentially, hyper-active reality in which matter is more rapidly rearranged. When asked how she's able to do transmutation without drawing a circle, just by forming one with her own arms (and also seemingly transmuting things OUTSIDE of her encircling arms in the process...), she says that she herself is a sort of hyperreality matrix. Edward asks how to become one of those, and she pauses uncomfortably before telling him that he'll have to arrive at the Truth himself to learn that.

Back to the present, Edward suddenly sits up with a start as he realizes now what she must have been talking about back then.

...

I guess this episode's title wasn't a red herring after all.

...

The next day, Edward and Alphonse approach her in private, saying there's something Edward really, really, really needs to ask her about. She responds by attacking them with a transmutated weapon, forcing them to use their more advanced powers to defend themselves. Their performance confirms what they were wanting to ask her about. Edward can do transmutation without a circle. Two of his limbs are synthetic. Alphonse is a spirit bound to an armor suit. The most obvious explanation for the conjunction of all these things is that they, like her, attempted to create something - someone, more accurately - too expensive.


She's been coughing up blood ever since.

She then explains that the person she was trying to synthesize was a replacement for her own stillborn child. As far as prices go...well, sadly, there isn't yet such a thing as an automail uterus. No wonder her insides are all fucked up.

She apologizes for not telling them. Going so far as to call herself an idiot. And, well, I'm pretty sure I get what she's implying here. Edward tries to put on a brave face as he finally acknowledges his deepest, most secret trauma, and in so doing admits that he's not actually an alchemy super genius. Just a normal alchemy genius who also signed an involuntary warlock pact, like her. Alphonse is more realistic about the situation he's in and how he feels about it. Poor Alphonse.

...

Speaking of Alphonse, it feels like there's an important piece missing here. In "The First Day," we saw Edward start to ask Alphonse if he saw Wogdat, but then change the subject and try to forget what he saw and spoke to. Later, after the confrontation with Barry the Chopper, Barry planted a seed of doubt in Alphonse's mind about what his brother might have been keeping from him. That tension was (prematurely and anticlimactically, in my opinion) resolved without the obvious bridge ever actually being crossed.

Now we have Edward talking to someone else about Wogdat, with Alphonse just sort of standing there as he does it, without Alphonse even expressing any surprise or curiosity.

See the problem?

It really feels like the hospital episode was supposed to end with Edward telling Alphonse about Wogdat. That seemed to be where it was going. And now, a few episodes later, both of them are acting as if Edward did in fact come clean at some point in the recent past. But...we just never saw it happen.

If this is an anime omission, then it might just be the worst one yet. Resolving that unspoken issue between the brothers is not only important for the story and characters' progress; it's one of the only really big opportunities for character development that Alphonse has ever gotten. With the way the show is treating it, we not only don't get to see how the revelation changes Alphonse's perspective on his and his brother's situation, but we also don't even get to see something as basic and visceral as how he reacted to hearing the story. Alphonse has basically been butted out of a really important piece of story and reduced to an extra where he should have been co-star.

So yeah. If this is a Brotherhood fuckup, its another baaaaaaad one. If it was like this in the manga, then the author must have been having an even worse and more frantic time writing the hospital+Rush Valley sequence than I first suspected.

...

The three embrace. We have one last flashback to Edward and Alphonse on that island. Edward continues, with cheery obliviousness of what he's actually implying, that alchemy is the same as life itself. Parts absorbing parts absorbing parts. And that it all works on principles that might be beyond understanding, but not (he continues, with extra obliviousness) beyond control. End episode.


This one was...something.

I'm going to have to do an extra analysis post for this episode, just like I do for some of the crunchier Lovecraft stories. There's too much to fit into the review itself.
 
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Symphogear S1E4: Falling Tears
Supposedly, this episode is where the show starts actually coming together.

Literally one second in though, and, well...

So, in light of everything I've said about Symphogear so far, what do you think is the one thing it could start the episode with that would give me the most misgivings? Like, the one opening frame that would be most likely to try my patience?


...

Mother.

Fucker.


...

We see Section 2 first becoming acquainted with Jinn, with the tact and sensitivity that I've come to expect of them.


Something tells me that if anyone besides Yoda and Dr. Molestina were running this place, they'd have a lot more willing candidates.

Jinn is fourteen years old at this time, and has been arrested for the crime of surviving a Noise attack on a Section 2 dig site that her family happened to live near. According to the guy filling us in, her parents likely took her to the site before the attack happened, which indicates that while Section 2's activities may be top secret for the mix of convincing and really dumb reasons we were told last episode, the dig sites at least are known. Probably as something else though; my guess is that they pass them off as just normal archaeological digs. Jinn asks if they're in charge of fighting the Noise and that, if they are, they should just give her a damned weapon. And also stop holding her prisoner for no reason, implicitly; her struggles communicate that well enough.

As a similarly younger Tsubasa watches from the crowd behind him, Yoda asks Jinn if she'd really do anything to fight the Noise, even if it meant going to hell. She, still bound and straightjacketed, growls that she would. Yoda responds to that by doing this:



Let me point out that the show has made it explicit that she and him have never met before, and that she's been captured, bound, and is being held against her will by his organization for no good reason that I can tell. And, without asking permission or even warning her, he does this.

This isn't even leaning on a cutesy anime world where physical affection is just much looser than in real life Japan. Just look at her expression.

The show plays this emotional music over the scene, like this is supposed to be a touching or something. Which it is, but only in the "show me on the doll where he touched you" sense of the word.

We then cut ahead to Jinn being given painful drug injections - painful enough to make her thrash and scream while strapped to a cot - in an attempt to make her compatible with Gungnir. Well, she did consent while traumatized, fourteen years old, and in captivity probably thinking she was about to be extrajudicial'd, so I guess I'm cool with this. Oh wait, sorry, I must have left some more important bits of brain on the doorframe during my episode 2 review than I realized, NO I'M FUCKING NOT COOL WITH THIS.

And. Um. Why her? Just because she's mad at the Noise? There must be a bajillion people, older, saner, and better informed than her, who are eager to strike back against the Noise! Like, all those mooks we see standing around Section 2 headquarters...have they all gone through this testing? If so, then this is slightly more forgivable, but still fairly batshit. As he watches the torturous drug infusions, Yoda squeezes his hand so hard that he bleeds. Clearly tormented by this hard decision that was forced on him. If only there was SOMETHING he could have done other than experiment on this one random fourteen year old girl who his organization happened to abduct. Poor man, I can barely imagine what he must be going through.

Also, she gets frustrated by the treatments not working eventually, and breaks free of her restraints to inject herself with a full syringe of the drugs, right in the neck. Causing herself to cough up blood and collapse in a twitching mess on the ground. But, she then sings the Grungnir song, activating the crystal shard on the table beside her, and transforms for the first time.


Everyone breathes a sigh of relief, and then take Gungnir away again as soon as she untransforms and never let her near it again, because these artifacts are incredibly rare and valuable and only an utter moron would entrust one to someone reckless enough to do what Jinn just did. Actually they don't do that, because everyone in this show IS an utter moron, but that's besides the point.

...

There's two things I think call for analysis, here. Both of them involve the story trying to have its cake and eat it in some capacity. It's unsurprising that this would be a recurring flaw, since Symphogear is increasingly striking me as having been, to put it generously,:turian:written:turian: by a market research team. I'll talk more about this at the end, but the long and short of it is that it seems like it's trying to pack in all the superficial details and genre-coding of the preceding decade's most successful animes, to the exclusion of nearly all else, and that means having to work in contradictory plot points and themes.

So, first thing. The show is clearly intending Yoda to be a good man forced into a bad situation, who is tormented by the necessity of experimenting on Jinn. But...nobody forced him to do that. The entire chain of events that led to them even accepting her as a candidate was completely unhinged and unethical. There's no reason they'd have a shortage of other candidates who aren't fourteen years old, traumatized, and dangerously reckless. He's acting like he's been forced into this, but there was no forcing, or even gentle prodding, that actually appears to have happened.

The scifi short story "The Cold Equations" by Tom Godwin is a popular example of this sort of authorial mishap. For those unfamiliar, the story is about a spaceship pilot delivering some desperately needed medicine to a stricken planet. He discovers that a child has stowed away aboard his vessel in order to visit her older brother on the destination planet. However, the ship's fuel supply is very carefully measured for the weight of the ship, pilot, and cargo, and the added weight of her body will cause them to run out before landing, dooming themselves and the people on the planet. Because of the cold equations of physics, the pilot is tearfully forced to execute the girl and expel her body to space.

The criticism that people often make of this story is that whoever is in charge of these relief ships apparently didn't see the need to check their weight before launch, OR to give them a little extra fuel as a precaution against the many, many things that could go wrong on an interstellar journey, but DID equip the pilots with handguns (and the extra fuel needed for the weapon's weight :V ) in case they'd have to kill stowaways to protect the fuel supply. Basically, the intended tragedy becomes a sick farce, and the intended message about the ruthless uncaringness of the laws of nature instead comes across as a satire of institutional callousness and malfeasance.

What's going on in this sequence in Symphogear is very much like "The Cold Equations," but without even the window dressing that lets that story pass an inattentive reader's muster. This is the equivalent of treating the pilot's shooting of the girl as a tragic necessity without ever putting them on the fucking spaceship.

Second is something I've already talked about in the previous episodes, but bears repeating now. A lot of what you can and can't get away with comes down to the tone of the work. If Symphogear was going for zany, Saturday Morning cartoon silliness (which, to be fair, it often seems like that's what it's going for), it could get handwave away the logic o Jinn getting into this situation. But, this show also wants me to actually feel things. It wants me to consider the human consequences of events (remember, the entire intro was a girl traveling through a nuked-out city full of maimed people to cry at her friend's grave). It wants to be Cutie Honey, and it also wants to be Sailor Moon, and it also wants to be Puella Magi Madoka Magica.

You can handwave away everything with rule of cool and slapstick, or you can have a mature story about people dealing with consequences and trauma. You can have an excuse plot that only exists to justify the cool fight scenes, or you can expect me to care about your worldbuilding and characters. Try to do all the above, and you'll end up with something weaker than the sum of its parts.

...

Tsubasa has a brief inner monologue about how impressed she is with Jinn, since she herself just lucked into compatibility with the sword of heaven, while Jinn had to torture and almost kill herself with chemical stimulants. So, some people don't need the drugs at all. And they lucked into finding two of them just by sheer chance, which means that even if such people are rare, they aren't that rare. Why were they even trying the drug treatments instead of just moving on to other candidates until they find another naturally compatible one? Because fuck you, that's why.

We then move on to a montage of the two girls killing Noise together, bonding over music, and starting their idol band. Episode title drop, and then we return to the present. The ACTUAL present this time, thank fucking god. Where we left off with Tsubasa and Hibiki having just met a new meguka wielding Nehushtan.

Yoda is apparently shocked at this, and had no idea where it was or that someone was using it. Maybe it went flying out into the city somewhere as part of the debris cloud when he blew up that stadium with it, and they were just never able to track it down.


You keep saying that word. I don't think it means what you think it means.

The newcomer asks if the other two know where her artifact came from. Tsubasa tells the newcomer that the artifact she's using was stolen from under her nose two years ago, when her friend and comrade in arms died. It was STOLEN, you say? Interesting. Does that mean that the Noise actually picked it up and took off with it? Or does she mean that random looters found it while picking through the ruins afterward, before Section 2 could reclaim it? Could be either.

I definitely wouldn't call it her own failure, but blaming herself for everything seems pretty in-character for Tsubasa. You know, since Section 2 seems deliberately designed to drive the girls insane.

Speaking of which, Tsubasa then conjures a giant sword thing and menaces the new girl with it, totally unprovoked.

-_-

Now, Yoda DID send out the order for them to recover Nehushtan at any cost. But...wouldn't it make much, much more sense for Tsubasa to try to do this diplomatically first? The new girl hasn't given any sign of hostile intent. The fact that she showed up right here and now suggests that she's independently fighting the Noise, and her approaching them means she's probably curious about her new powers and wants to know more. If they told her "oh hey, another symphogear! Amazing! You should come back to HQ and meet the boss, wanna?" I suspect she'd readily agree. And if she doesn't, well, you can still resort to using force if all else fails.

Of course, going by the way she emphasizes certain words in her speech, I get the impression that she's mostly just doing this because the new girl with Nehushtan is making her remember losing Jinn. Which makes her angry. Which means she wants to attack her with a deadly weapon. Meeting absolutely any other magical girl seems to elicit a violent reaction from her.

And they're sending her into the field. With other magical girls. Without doing anything to reign her in or treat her psychological problems whatsoever.

...

If section 2 really is our best effort against the Noise, then humanity deserves to be carbonized.

...

Hibiki runs at Tsubasa and grabs her, to stop her from Tsubasa-ing the newcomer. She does this by wrapping her arms around her and desperately pleading. It's almost as if Tsubasa didn't try to kill Hibiki herself not too long ago, and therefore Hibiki has no reason to be afraid of exposing herself to her like this.


Tsubasa and Newgirl both, simultaneously, ridicule Hibiki for behaving this way on the battlefield. Then recognize each other as kindred spirits, and cheerfully start fighting.

O...kay...

Contrary to its boobalicious appearance, Newgirl's artifact is in much better condition than either of theirs, and she hints that she has another source of power as well. She also substantiates this claim by proving herself easily a match for Tsubasa, and then conjuring a quartet of Noise bukkake monsters to pin down Hibiki.


Okay then. She can summon Noise, and command them. That's...much more worrying.

So, she is a bad guy, then. But how did Tsubasa KNOW that until now? She didn't say or do anything that read as hostile. Cocky and a little abrasive, perhaps, but not hostile. I could normally assume that Section 2 had reason to suspect that Nehushtan was in the possession of a hostile third party capable of using it, but...the problem is that we've already seen Tsubasa try to kill other magical girls for no reason. So, when she attacked the newcomer without any better explanation...what the hell am I supposed to assume?

As it is, this scene is reading like Tsubasa attacked the new girl on a psychotic impulse, but this time she fortunately happened to lash out at an actual enemy.

Well, if nothing else, this does lend credence to the possibility that another human faction might be directing the Noise to attack Japan specifically. Could be the United States as Yoda suspected, could be someone else.

NewGirl keeps dueling Tsubasa for a while, and then tells her that her actual goal here is to capture Hibiki. Okay, interesting, the plot thickens. The battle continues, with Nu summoning more Noise as needed to keep Tsubasa distracted so she can land blow after blow after blow. I'll give the show credit for an excellent fight scene here. Fighting Nu and her minions is very different from fighting the Noise on their own, and also very different from a straight up duel. Nu fights brutally, leveraging every advantage her superior gear and summoning abilities can give her. She's confident she can beat Tsubasa, but she's clearly not overconfident. At no point does she seem to be toying with her opponent, like anime villains often do. She wants to do her job quickly and efficiently. Tsubasa, meanwhile, fights like an enraged cornered animal, desperate, frantic, constantly in motion. Evading each trap with almost primal determination.

When we hear Tsubasa's inner monologues, she keeps repeating to herself, over and over again, that she will NOT fail and lose a partner again. That...well, it definitely shows how out of it Tsubasa is, considering that she tried to kill said partner herself not long ago. Maybe its just extreme mood swings, or maybe its a "killing you is fine, but letting you GET killed/captured by someone else makes me incompetent just like when I lost Jinn" sort of thing.

Meanwhile, Hibiki tries to get free of the ropey Noise-semen holding her in place, but can't. In large part because she apparently STILL doesn't know how to summon her spear.


A month into her career, and they still haven't taught her how to conjure her main weapon. No wonder she's been underperforming by their standards. You know, on top of the hostile work environment at HQ, living in fear of her partner in the field, not being able to keep up with her school or social lives, etc.

In most shows, I'd assume that because of her only having a few fragments of Grungnir embedded in her chest rather than the more proper use method with a more intact artifact, and that they've been trying to rectify this offscreen. But, with how little of a shit Hibiki's employers seem to give, I can't assume that. It would be entirely in character for them to just not bother. Or to forget that they hadn't done it.

Eventually, Tsubasa uses an ability of hers we haven't seen before, tossing her sword into the ground behind Nu and creating some kind of invisible energy field between herself and it that paralyzes Nu. Well, if she'd used that from the beginning this fight might have gone pretty differently, mightn't it? Unfortunately, at this point there are plenty of Noise already on the field who can close in while Tsubasa is concentrating on maintaining the effect, and Hibiki is herself restrained. If she'd used this toward the beginning, of course, she could have just had Hibiki walk up and beat the shit out of Nu while she was immobilized. Oh well, guess that's what happens when you have irrational contempt for the person you're supposed to be working with.

So, instead, Tsubasa is forced to use her suicide attack. In keeping with Symphogear's tendency to treat its teenaged girl protagonists with due respect and seriousness, especially during moments like this one, the camera zooms right in on Tsubasa's ass and cameltoe as she picks herself off the ground to suicide attack the enemy.


Okay, pattern well and clearly established. I'm gonna have to talk about this at the end of the review.

So, Tsubasa does the thing. Sad, emotional music plays, as if we were actually supposed to care about this increasingly unlikeable character who we've had very little time to get to know, and who the goddamned camera won't even take seriously in this scene. Hibiki also screams her name desperately, because she has every reason to care about Tsubasa in particular herself lmao. Personally, I'm just watching the pretty light show as she sympho-bombs the baddies and looking forward to not having to deal with her after this. The Noise are all vaporized. Nu takes serious-looking damage, and is forced to flee (she can apparently fly). Just as Yoda and Nommy Rapeface arrive on the scene, Tsubasa collapses, bleeding profusely from her eyes and mouth.

We then cut to HQ, where we're told that Tsubasa has been stabilized for now, but her future is uncertain.

After using her suicide attack.

The one that we saw Jinn reduced to a literal dust cloud within minutes after using.

What.

Cut to Hibiki at HQ hearing a long speech from the guard who was sort of nice to her earlier. All recounting stuff that both she AND the audience already knows. The events two years ago, that Hibiki was right at ground zero of. The nature of Tsubasa and Jinn's relationship, which Tsubasa herself hasn't shut up abou for five consecutive seconds in Hibiki's presence or otherwise. What the Climax Song is, despite Hibiki having witnessed it close up twice, etc. This scene is almost completely pointless and redundant.

There's one hilariously un-self aware line from him, though.


What's amazing and disgusting in equal measures is that he's attributing this to Tsubasa's own issues about having lost Jinn. Even though we've already been told and shown, quite explicitly, that Section 2 goes out of its way to ruin the lives of the magical girls who work for it, with not giving them time to socialize or go out with romantic partners being specific things we've seen in just the last episode.

He then, gently and softly, tells Hibiki that if Tsubasa survives this, it's on her to make sure that Tsubasa doesn't stay miserable for the rest of her life.


No pressure or anything. And no, of course we're not going to sanction her for trying to murder you first, what are you kidding?

I'm not sure if I've ever hated a fictional organization as much as I hate Section 2 right now. Really, this is great build up, if depressing in how long it goes on for. But, I'm sure it'll make Hibiki's eventual roaring rampage of revenge that much more satisfying. Especially if Miku gets to play as well.

Next we have a meeting with Yoda and Pederastra, in which they muse darkly about a hostile human organization knowing all about section 2 and being able to identify Hibiki by name. Huh, that's actually a good point. If Nu knew Hibiki's name as well as everything else, why didn't she just try to abduct her when she was alone and unarmored sometime? Guess we're lucky that everyone is equally dumb in this world. Anyway, the meeting ends with Hibiki storming out in tears while ranting about how she got BOTH the senior meguka's killed or hospitalized, and that she can't do anything, etc. Man, was it something someone said?

Then we cut to Hibiki up aboveground meeting with, thank god, Miku.

...unfortunately, it just turns out to be a totally generic pep talk scene about fighting for things you want to defend and being the best version of yourself possible without giving up your uniqueness, and other stuff that in no way flows thematically from what came before. Then come the credits, and the last sight of Symphogear that I ever intend to subject myself to.


I'll say one thing for RWBY. At least it was outrageously bad, and found new and sometimes extremely inventive ways of being terrible that were fun to talk about, so that it took nearly three whole seasons for it to get monotonous. Symphogear is...just bad. Just plain, boring, nothing-to-really-discuss-at-length bad. If RWBY is a thirty car trainwreck that you can't take your eyes off of, then Symphogear is just one sad broken-down locomotive dead in its tracks and gathering rust.

I guess Symphogear has cool fight scenes, at least. But as I've said before, those can't keep my attention for long alone, no matter how good they are. If I was an animation expert who could dissect the technical cinematography and artistry of the battles, I could probably say a lot more about Symphogear, and a lot more of it would likely be positive. But, as anyone reading this should know by now, that's not my thing. I might dip into art and music and the like when it calls attention to my untrained senses, but I'm mainly here to talk about the stories.

Earlier in this review, I said that Symphogear feels like it was written by a market research team rather than someone who actually likes to tell stories. It's just all the most superficial things from the sort of anime that their target audience likes thrown together without any depth, and with only minimal care taken to avoid contradiction. Teenaged lesbians? Check. Hard men making hard decisions? Check. Crying lesbians? Check. Gary Stue male sensei authority figure? Check. Vaguely Lovecraftian background setting? Check. Traumatized lesbians? Check. Heavy focus on music and meta-diagetic effects? Check. Army of abstract-looking murder machines who only our heroes can fight? Check. Dead lesbians? Check. The fact that this is an anime-original, rather than being based on a manga like most other shows of its genre, is just further support for my conclusion.

This also relates to the pattern I've been increasingly disgruntled by in the show's portrayal of the leads' sexuality. This show isn't shy about nudity, and its willing to indulge in titillation. However, the only times we actually see the leads naked or have the camera ogle them male-gaze style is when they're suffering, dying, or vulnerable. Whenever they actually express their own sexual agency, its just some chaste handholding or clothes-on cuddling.

I recommend you watch this video from the timestamp 16:55 to about 21:25. The rest of the vid is also quite worth watching, but that's the most relevant section:



Obviously, Symphogear isn't AS bad as this, due to it being at the expense of imaginary cartoon idol girls instead of real living ones. But it's the same psychology, and the same marketing that appeal to and encourages that psychology, at play.

I feel like the way Symphogear, and a lot of modern lesbian-sploitation media in general, treats its leads is a lot like this. Especially when said leads are young enough to meet your average neckbeard basement ogre's criteria for "waifu." They're not allowed to DO sex. Their own sexuality is pure and abstract and sanitized and infantilized. Meanwhile, the camera gets right in on their naked jigglies not when they're reveling in their sexuality, but when they're weak or in pain. They're yours to dominate, you lucky boy you.

The one female character who ISN'T subject to this is Glasses. Because she's not a waifu. She's a predatory sexual situation to subject the waifus to, just like the camera angles.

Anyway, my main point is that everything about this show is just the most cynical and thoughtless kind of pandering. Which you can feel free to like, but just...that doesn't make it not shit. I like skittles sometimes, but I'll also be the first to admit that they're a total guilty pleasure, cheaply made, not even that tasty, and terrible for you even compared to other junk food. And, if I had to write a product review of skittles, well, it would say that they're shit. They're shit that I like for some weird reason, but I wouldn't ever recommend them to someone else. Symphogear for me is what skittles would be if they didn't happen to just barely manage to hit my taste buds in just the right way somehow before the awful aftertaste and gross stomach feelings kick in.

And god help you if you try to convince me that it's an actual meal.
 
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The Hard Truth (FMAS1E12 analysis)
EDIT: I've been advised to include a content warning to this post for depressing philosophical horror. So, if you're sensitive to that kind of thing, be warned going in.

...

"The flow of this world follows laws so great, we can't even imagine them."

-Edward Elric


"Is God willing to prevent evil, but unable? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?"

-Epicurus


Years ago, while working as a tourguide at an Alaska Native history museum, I read a book of legends and fairy tales from the nearby tribes. One of the stories stuck with me in particular because of the immediate, visceral reaction I had to it:

A mother seal and her pup were swimming around near the shore, when a mink scampered over across the rocks and started playing peek-a-boo with the baby seal. The mother was nervous about letting this stranger so near her child, but the pup loved playing with the mink, and as long as she kept her eyes on them she decided it was okay. They ran along the shoreline, racing each other. The mink swam out into the water, and played tag with the baby seal. After some time of this, the mink said it wanted to race the pup down the hillside above the shore. The mother told the pup it wasn't safe to leave the water so far from home, but the baby begged and pleaded and splashed around so miserably that she finally relented. She told the mink to be very careful with him, and also that since he was so fat and his fins so stubby, the mink would need to roll him up the hill himself to race him down. The mink promised, and agreed. He rolled the baby seal up on top of the hill, and asked it if it was ready to race. The pup grinned and excitedly nodded yes. The mink then pushed it off the cliff on the far side of the hill, killing the baby seal, and then ate it. The mother seal waited for hours by the shore, calling for her baby, until the sun set and she realized he was never coming home.

I think you all can understand the punch that story had for me. Some of you might have felt it as well, though I didn't write it as well as the compiler of that book. But either way, here's another story now, written by myself slightly after I read the above:

A mink lured a seal pup out of the water and ate it.

So similar, and yet absolutely nothing alike.

The main intended lesson of the original fable is pretty obvious. There are probably other messages in it too that no one who hasn't lived the traditional Tlingit lifestyle would be able to catch, but that's beside the point. At the time that I wrote the shorter and happier version, I was 18 years old and at least as dumb as Edward was being in the stargazing scene in "One Is All, All Is One." My intended message in it was "do not anthropomorphize nature, because then animals are people, and if animals are people then that means that people are animals."

I was really proud of myself for that one, at the time. :eyeroll:

In his lesser known book Homo Deus, historian and sociologist Dr. Noah Harari put forth the idea that scientific progress in the fields of genetics, neurobiology, and information technology would lead to the death of humanism. So many of our values, even what we consider our most fundamental moral axioms, are predicated on the belief that human lives are valuable in a way that no other things are. The problem is that the more we learn about what we actually are and how the universe around us works, the more it seems that concepts like "human" and "life" are built on sand. There isn't a sharp distinction between species, in the way the Victorian-era naturalists who put together the category of kingdoms, phylae, orders, etc thought, but merely a sliding scale of gene commonality. Many of the animals that we give no moral weight to whatsoever have most of the same emotional spectrum that we do, are aware of their own existence, and are capable of learning and changing from experience. Neurobiology has failed to locate any "sentience lobe" that makes you a person rather than an animal. And, with the advancement of information technology, the very hows and whys of thought are being demystified one step at a time.

We already sort of knew this. We have so much doublethink built up around it that there's no way we couldn't, deep down inside, have already known it. The way people feel genuine concern and care for the emotional well being of their pets, but eat meat from not-too-distantly-related species without a thought.

Not that vegetarianism would be an actual escape from this moral paradox either. Growing vegetables kills animals too. Not as many, but still enough to make the people doing it mass murderers. And I'm not even counting insects and the like; I'm just talking about the birds and mammals that we know are capable of thinking, feeling, and experiencing. But I digress.

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood has been playing with these ideas, albeit indirectly and only in the vaguest terms, ever since "An Alchemist's Anguish." Shao Tucker was the only example we'd been shown at that point of someone doing alchemical research rather than just using known principles for law enforcement or engineering or the like. A dozen episodes later, we've now had even more sinister hints about the character of the only other "researcher" we know about (Hohenheim Elric, if that's his real name), and the most important lesson that Izumi needed the brothers to learn in order to actually understand and advance the field of alchemy rather than just copying preexisting spells involved (among other things) the importance of killing and the futility of empathy. As Edward said, the ants, the foxes, and the rabbit were no different from himself and Alphonse. He was even able to maintain some ironic affection for those fox brothers that were so like the two boys, even while acknowledging that they would happily eat him if they could and implying that he'd do the same to them without blinking if need be.

With where that philosophical path seems like it should lead, though, we come to something of a contradiction in Edward's character. Despite having learned and internalized these nihilistic lessons, and despite not being the most ethical person in general even besides that, Edward is extremely averse to killing other humans. Even ones who he knows deserve it. At first, I assumed that this was just generic hero-coding for the benefit of the typical shonen audience. At this point though, I really don't think that that's it. Or at least, it isn't just that. Edward learned another lesson in the time between his experience on that island and becoming a State Alchemist. There's the truth that Izumi taught him, and the truth behind the truth that she foolishly kept to herself.


Why The Taboo?

Edward almost realized his mistake ahead of time when he mused that the rules of the universe are bigger than he could understand. Unfortunately for he and his brother, the thought passed him by a moment later, and he went on about how we are all interchangeable matter that can be understood and manipulated. Within the world of Fullmetal Alchemist, people aren't just the sum of their physical components. If they were, he and Alphonse might have actually succeeded in recreating some fascimile of their mother, and entities like Alphonse, Slicer, and Chopper would not be able to exist. We know, from Izumi's example, that others have met the entity that calls itself God. And I'm pretty sure that previous meetings, in the distant past, are the reason why the taboo against human transmutation came into being.

People being made of carbon, water, and trace elements isn't bigger than humans can understand. There are equivalent exchanges being made beyond the limits of any alchemist's perception or comprehension. Things have some sort of value to them that can't be divined from just their material characteristics. And, apparently, a human life is worth more than the two boys had to give.

That, I think, is why Edward won't kill humans. He knows that their lives are incredibly valuable in some cosmic sense that he cannot understand, but has been made to respect and fear. Destroying one must have some kind of great equivalent exchange effect, and he doesn't know what. And he sure as hell doesn't want to come near the unknowable part of alchemy (or life; as he said on the island, the two work on the same cosmic principles) again.

This is also where Izumi's failings, both as a teacher and as a thinker. show themselves. We know that she has a strong sense of right and wrong (well, the manga version of her does at least :rolleyes:), has enough moral objections to the ruling regime for her to be absolutely furious at Edward and Alphonse for serving it, etc. We also know that she knows both the truth, and the truth behind the truth. And yet, by guiding the boys see only the outermost layer of the onion, she basically put them on a path to either really acute cognitive dissonance, or total nihilism. She also all but guaranteed that they'd repeat the worst mistake of her own life. She taught them alchemy. She (probably inadvertently) taught them a certain contempt for the powers that be and the rules it enforces, on top of Edward's preexisting rebellious streak. And, she taught them just enough about equivalent exchange for them to mistakenly think that a human was only worth the sum of its chemical components.

Really, if you were going by the logic of their island survival lesson alone, why WOULDN'T you try to create a human if you felt like it?

Izumi wasn't good at thinking things through beyond the immediate future. Perhaps that itself is a symptom of thinking too much about equivalent exchange as a way of life. Not all consequences are immediate actions-and-reactions, and alchemists might, as a group, be bad at remembering that. That brings me back to the philosophy of alchemy, and what it's likely to do to one's sense of...well, your sense of everything really. For those alchemists who know the truth, and for those who know the truth behind the truth.


The Nature Of "Value"

As I've alluded to above, following the "everything is just spare parts for everything else" philosophy earnestly just leads to nihilism, and to people like Shou Tucker and (if my suspicions at this point are right) the Father. But knowing that humans actually do have a value beyond that, and that that value is not only impossible for us to understand, but also nonetheless distinct and negotiable, is almost kind of worse. It's the difference between an uncaring universe, and a universe that cares about us just enough to deliberately mess with us. It's not any less brutal than the materialist dog-eat-dog version. It's still just as brutal in exactly the same way, but the consequences of each dog eating each other dog are less predictable, and not all of the eating is visible to us.

I don't know what to think about the value of human life, in the real world around us that increasingly seems to have been a (really banal) cosmic horror setting all along. I guess if there's a message to be gotten from Edward's story, it's that we shouldn't assume we understand everything just because we've made a few discoveries. So, maybe there actually is a "moral" way to live. Maybe there actually is some internally consistent philosophical different between eating food that animals were killed to make and murdering a human, even in the face of what we're learning about consciousness and the ever blurrier line that separates us from "lesser" creatures. Or, maybe humans just aren't evolutionarily meant to have internally consistent philosophies. Just navigating in modern society requires enough doublethink just to get around what that society does to other humans, let alone our prey species and agricultural pests. Maybe stabbing a random person to death in person because you felt like it doesn't actually make you any morally worse than anyone else.

Well, doing things like that seems more wrong that not doing them. And, since we don't know everything, it's best to err on the side of safety. Or maybe that's just one of the lies I tell myself in order to stay sane. But, whatever the truth may be, I'd still take our world over the one that the Elric brothers inhabit. Equivalent exchange plus greater-than-material values for some things just adds "sacrificing truckloads of prisoners to make alchemy booster-shots" and suchlike to the system.

A world in which humans have a great, metaphysical value. And yet, they are exposed to the same conditions - both environmental and psychological - as humans in real life. So much worth, destroyed so constantly, so trivially, so carelessly, and with no recourse.

That, I think, is another message that can be gleaned from this story. Imagining that there's a higher purpose to the world around us is not a comforting thing to do if you apply your critical thought. Even if the universe just appears to be hostile to any way of life besides utter nihilism and actually isn't, the thought that someone or something would even make it look that way to us is unpleasant, to say the least. And, going by the pantheistic route, an entity that embodies or encompasses the workings of our universe would be...well, something heedless and inattentive like Lovecraft's outer gods would be the most optimistic take. Do not look to a higher power for justice or purpose. You'll only find baby seals being murdered by pedophile-coded mink.


This is also why I don't believe most religious people when they say that they earnestly believe in God the same way that they earnestly believe that the sun will rise tomorrow or that water is wet. If you actually thought someone was responsible for this, you wouldn't be praising and adoring them. You'd be trying to figure out what we can do about the motherfucker.
 
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Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood S1E13: Beasts of Dublith
The episode picks up at the same conversation (I think) where the last one ended off. Izumi still seems pensive, but even after apologizing to the brothers for keeping information from them that led to them breaking the taboo, she still tells them that they have to "take responsibility for what they've done," and formally expels them from her tutelage.

That seems a little hypocritical of her, considering what she's just owned up to and how it obviously fed into their own decisions. However, it's possible that she both a) went out of her way, time and time again, to warn them about human transmutation, even if she didn't explain why exactly, and b) isn't JUST talking about their taboo-violation, but also about them enlisting with Lord Premier Gangsta-Wanksta's bootnecking squad. Taking responsibility for their actions, plural, after all. They've knowingly done enough different things that she disapproves of to just cross a line, even if she acknowledges partial responsibility for some of those things. That would be a more charitable reading of her decision here, at least. It's also possible that her post-uterus pains are just spiking and making her just lash out irrationally.

Honestly, chronic pain with sudden flare-ups would explain a lot of her more erratic and violent behavior.

Roll intro. I won't lie, the quality of FMA:B's OP is one of the reasons I'm always happy to start another episode. It isn't quite on par with the first two JoJo OP's, but it's damned close, and I never want "Again" to stop being stuck in my head. I hear that there are other intros later in the series, and I fear they won't be able to measure up.

Actually, you know what? I think I've seen enough of the show at this point to actually dissect the intro sequence and see what I can infer about the story going forward from it. Let's do that!



We start with an older, more ragged, and taller (yay!!~) Edward, or perhaps a young Hohenheim who greatly resembles him if the creators are trying to fuck with us. He's standing in front of Wogdat's kabbalistic symbols for a moment, and then standing outside and either reaching something or casting a spell. Assuming this actually is Edward, the show is going to span at least a year or two of in-universe time. As he often does, Edward(?) is looking beleaguered, but determined.

We then see some quick flashes of Trisha with her Stepford Wives smile, babby Edward and Alphonse having the door closed in their faces by their father without him ever bidding them a proper goodbye, and then a closeup of Hohenheim's face with a really sinister gleam on the lenses of his eyeglasses. Very reminiscent of Shou Tucker in some of his creepier shots, in fact. Daddy Elric is either the villain, or the creators want me to think that he's the villain before pulling out the rug. As the song kicks into high energy mode, we see the freshly cyborgified brothers watching their burning house, and a smattering of clips from their pre-accident childhoods with Winry and post-accident Edward visiting Trisha's grave from "Road of Hope."

There's also another shot of Hohenheim standing outside the walls of...I think that's East City, but it could also be Central, I forget if only one of them had those white outer walls and grassy surroundings or both of them. He looks...possibly sinister here, but not as much so. More ambiguous framing.


That could be a cold, distant villain shot, or it could be a long-suffering misunderstood attempted hero shot, or it could just be a disinterested observer shot. The glare on his glasses still reads as pretty bad guy-ish in the usual cartoon visual language.

Alphonse and Edward getting used to their new bodies, before some idyllic country scenery. The music accelerates again, we see Hughes and Mustang silhouetted against a black background (probably suggesting that they're really in the belly of the beast when it comes to confronting the evil at work in their land, unlike the boys), with Mustang in particular appearing to be fording his way through a wall of flaming cinders. It doesn't look like his own alchemical pyrokinesis, though, so much as something he's fighting against. Something something playing with fire, something something not being able to control the system he's trying to take over and reform, something something? Then an artsy montage of Alphonse, Edward, and Winry each in turn framed in front of the Elrics' front door, with Alphonse being vaporized by Wogdat-lightning, Edward being partly vaporized by it, and Winry sort of swaying around drunkenly as absolutely nothing happens to her.


I'm not sure why they even included that shot in here. As far as I can tell, the boys' failed experiment didn't even really upset her life in any meaningful capacity, though obviously it must have made an impression. Maybe it's supposed to be an artsy depiction of them all being damaged by losing their parents at around the same time, with Winry bearing only psychological scars rather than physical ones like the others ended up with? It's kind of hilarious to watch the three in sequence though. Alphonse, completely destroyed. Edward, horribly maimed. Winry...looking like she got into her grandmother's cough syrup or something.

Villain shot of the three members of Sin Inc who we've been acquainted with by name forming a sort of body-horror-themed totem pole of evil, all bursting out of each other's mouths and stuff. Action poses of the grown ups in combat. And then something we haven't seen before in the show itself; Envy (at least, I assume its Envy. They're not using their usual form, but the shapeshifting animation looks just like Envy's) turning themselves from a human male form into a burnt-looking skinless ghoul creature and leaping dozens of meters over a bunch of rooftops, claws raised and fangs bared.


First of all, if this literally happens in the show at some point, then the Sins are even stronger physically than it seemed so far. That was one hell of a leap, even by shonen anime standards. Second, the details of the form Envy took on here. Did they turn themselves into the charred skeleton-thing for intimidation purposes in battle, or are we actually getting a look at their true form here? If so, does that mean that Lust, Gluttony, etc also have similar ghoulish appearances that they've somehow concealed themselves?

This sinful montage ends with a close up of Burger King posed on top of a government building looking fashier and scarier than ever before. Right after this, we flash to what looks like a truly epic rooftop battle as Edward struggles to fend off Envy and Gluttony, with Gluttony in particular coming across as an architecture-pulverizingly unstoppable juggernaut. The way that they slipped Bilbo Bradley of Brag-End in between shots focused on the other three Sins makes a strong association between him and them, which goes along with my inference that he's actually Pride. More mixed imagery then flashes by very quickly; more childhood stuff, a weirdly sexy low-angle shot of Scar doing his guerrilla thing and hiding in a forest, Grandma Rockbell sitting on her porch, and then...Edward's automail arm being smashed against what really looks like the eyeball emblem on the wall of Wogdat's trippy domain.


I have a feeling this is from the series' endgame. I'm predicting either the final episode, or the one right before it. And, on a similar note, the intro ends with two shadowy silhouettes confronting each other on a sunset field that looks like the area around Resembool. It's too shadowy to tell for sure, but I think one of them is Edward, and the other, I suspect, is either an adult Alphonse returned to human form, or Hohenheim. Either way, a meeting that probably is only going to happen at the very end.


So, that's that. Time will tell how accurate my interpretations of these images actually are.

We resume the episode with Edward and Alphonse at the Dublith train station, with Sig telling them that just because Izumi isn't teaching them anymore doesn't mean they can't still be friends (with him, at least, if not with her as well). Something about what he just said makes Edward realize he forgot something important, and a faster version of the creepy "Lurking" theme starts playing. The brothers race back to Sig and Izumi's house, with Sig calling after them to be careful not to get killed. A sensible warning, since Izumi is in the kitchen using a big knife at present, and when Edward ignores that warning and bursts back into the house without knocking she reflexively throws the knife right at his head. Good thing Edward's reflexes aren't any slower than Sig's. Izumi roars at them to gtfo, and Edward tells her that before they got sidetracked with all the other stuff one of the original reasons they wanted to see her was to ask for leads on restoring their bodies.

This calms her (that, or her random pains died down again. Maybe both), but she now looks at least as sad as she does angry. I kinda figured. The fact that she hasn't been able to fix her own body really doesn't bode well for her being able to help them. But, with this much more sympathetic goal of theirs in mind now, she's at least willing to talk to them again.

As they discuss possible leads, the conversation turns back to Wogdat, and Izumi points out how strange it is that Alphonse doesn't seem to have any memories of him at all. His entire body was reclaimed as a fine for what they did, and his very soul had to be given back to Edward in exchange for another sacrifice, so it seems like he should have had more interaction with Wogdat than either of them. That is strange, now that she points it out. When I watched "The First Day," I assumed that this was because the experiment had been Edward's idea and the fruit of mostly Edward's research...but thinking about it more, if that were really the case, shouldn't it have been Edward who lost his entire body, with Alphonse paying the lesser price? Yeah, Izumi spotted a missing puzzle piece here that I probably should have noticed myself.

With this in mind, she and Edward hypothesize that perhaps Alphonse DID meet Wogdat, and may have even had more knowledge beamed into his head than either of them. However, due to being so young at the time, and to having experienced a much greater trauma in his full body disintegration and soul transmutation, he may have blocked the entire episode and all he learned during it out of his memory. So, theoretically, if they can help Alphonse recover his suppressed memories, they might learn more super-alchemy. Or at least, they might be able to infer a little more about the laws behind the laws of equivalent exchange, which could give them a starting point on how to pay for a reversal. They warn Alphonse that those memories might really, really, REALLY fuck him up, if the experience was so traumatic that he repressed it completely, but he says he'll go through with it no matter the cost.

And, for some reason, Izumi and Edward go into super-deformed chibi mode as they're warning him, in a way that initially made me think they were mocking him until the art shifted back and the serious tone resumed as if nothing had interrupted it.


Chibi-Izumi's expression in particular is highly misleading, considering that she looks serious and legitimately concerned for Alphonse again the instant the art shifts back.

Good comedic timing is an art. This is a very artless moment.

Izumi tells them that she knows (or at least knows of) someone who might be able to unblock Alphonse's memories. But first, she says, suddenly smiling, its time for dinner. She leads them after her, a gracious and cheerful hostess once again.

...

Okay, yeah, there's DEFINITELY something up with Izumi's mood swings. My money is still on chronic pain from her mutilation, but it also could be an unrelated mood/personality disorder. Either way, I'm now all but sure that the author intended for there to be something legitimately wrong with Izumi that's causing these shifts.

...

As she leads them out of the living room, the camera zooms out through the window, and we see that a wall-climbing gecko man has been eavesdropping on the conversation. Having learned what he sought to learn, said reptilian entity scampers away up the wall and disappears into the night.


Well, that's certainly new. Could this be another human/animal chimaera that kept more of its intelligence and sense of self than Alexina? Another member of Sin Inc with a less humanlike appearance? Something else entirely? One of the titular "beasts of Dublith," I'm sure, but what does that mean exactly? Not enough context to draw any sound conclusions about what this guy is or who he might be working for, and its weird and out-of-nowhere enough to really grab the audience's attention.

Cut to the next morning, at the imposing East City central command facility. Seeing it in an external shot like this after doing my OP dissection, I now recognize it as the site of Envy's leaping skeleton monster attack, and of Dr. Pepper's menacing rooftop pose. So, East City is going to keep being important even if it's been a while since the Elrics were anywhere nearby. Inside, Mustang is playing chess against an elderly general, and telling him that he's about to be transferred back to Central. They reminisce about old times (well...old times from Mustang's perspective. It must have been much less time from the general's perspective), and talk about how well they still seem to work together. He also convinces the general to let him take five junior officers along with him to Central. One of them is Riza Hawkeye, who apparently isn't actually Mustang's PA after all, or at least wasn't supposed to be after this point. The other four I believe are new faces, one of which is unhappy with the transfer, not that Mustang cares (or at least, he pretends not to. I'm not sure how much of his demanding, anal-retentive persona is genuine and how much is affected to better blend in among the Fantasy Nazi top brass).

We then cut to Scar, still living in that Ishvallian shantytown with the people who saved him. His wounds haven't completely closed yet, but he's still exercising, as if unable to NOT use his time to either hone himself into a better fighter or actually fight. He's snapped out of it when one of his hosts leads a much older Ishvallan into the room, and Scar recognizes him as a former mentor who he thought dead. Probably the same person who he'd been looking for in that flashback of his we saw a few eps ago before he ran into Kimblee the state-sponsored psychopath.


The old man tells Scar that while he understands and even admires what he's been doing, he should stop it. Continuing to antagonize the state is just going to lead to more crackdowns against the already decimated ethnic Ishvallan population, and their people will run out of anything to fight for long before Ronald McDonald and his lackeys do. It's time to just accept defeat and try to preserve what's left of their society.

Before Scar can reply to that, some rando bounty hunters who infiltrated the shantytown pretending to be merchants or something stomp in. Their leader has really been itching to bring Scar in, since defeating the terrorist who took out the legendary Fullmetal Alchemist in combat would really put a feather in his own cap. He also seems to have some sort of personal grudge against Edward, though.

...

Some of my patrons have informed me that this guy is actually the corrupt official who Edward and Alphonse exposed in one of their offscreen adventures, which we heard mentioned briefly in episode 3.

From the sound of things, cutting that arc was a good decision, as it was basically another filler episode in an early FMA manga that already had too many of those. However, it's kind of awkward that they'd then keep that villain in his minor recurring role here without any explanation. If they just replaced him in this scene with some no-name bounty hunter with no particular grudge against or connection to the Elrics, it wouldn't really change anything. And it would be much less confusing.

...

Scar is wounded, but that doesn't stop the lot of them from getting Scar'd.


There are some bounties that you can really only hunt with a sniper rifle from at least half a kilometer away.

These guys have just made a pretty strong counterargument to Scar's old teacher. At this point, he really can't stop. Even if he never commits another attack, the state will never stop gunning for him after what he's done. So, he might as well try his best and see if he can actually beat the odds, and the country. He either thinks he has a shot at preventing repercussions for his remaining people, or he's just too consumed with revenge to even care anymore.

For some reason, Scar notably doesn't kill the ex-official himself along with his lackeys, instead letting him flee the shantytown before marching off himself to continue his own-man war despite still being hurt. Weird.

Back in Dublith, Alphonse is sweeping the sidewalk in front of Meat & Magic when someone throws a ball of paper at him. He picks it up, uncrinkles it, and reads the message written on it, while the gecko dude who threw it from one of the rooftops slips away cackling to himself. The message apparently says that they know Al's secret, and that they want him to meet them at a local dive called the Devil's Nest. When Alphonse arrives there, a group of toughs are waiting for him. When he won't let them take him to their hideout willingly, a fight breaks out.

It quickly becomes apparent that these are all human-animal hybrids who are just less obvious than Gecko (their animal features can mostly be hidden under their clothing), and using their animal strength and flexibility, as well as their prior knowledge of what Alphonse is and how he works, they're actually able to take him down, albeit not easily. After Alphonse punches a couple of them out, one of them knocks off his helmet. Alphonse doesn't bother trying to prevent this. After all, he's won quite a few fights by letting enemies mistakenly target his head, and he's learned not to stop people from making that mistake. The problem: this is the one time that it wasn't actually a mistake. When his neck-hole is open, a strong and flexible Snek lady dives into his torso and extends her limbs into each of his own. Literally wearing him as his suit was originally meant to be worn. He's much stronger than her, but counteracting his limbs movements from inside she's able to juuuust slow and hamper him enough for the other mutants to swarm and bring him down.

Damn. The fact that Alphonse is mentally just a kid really makes this kind of hard to watch. Even if it's a really well thought out and choreographed fight scene.

The brains behind this operation then shows himself. When asked by Alphonse what the hell his minions even are, he confirms that they are in fact part-human chimeras. Man, Tucker really sucked at this didn't he? I guess these guys are what happens when someone actually competent makes human/animal chimeras. Transhumans that keep their full human intelligence and personalities, but gain the physical strength and other useful traits of their animal components. Said boss, by the way, is the same man who we see transform in a very Envy-like way into a skeleton monster in the intro.


So, this might actually be one of Envy's guises. If not, then Envy impersonates this guy at some point in the future. Or, as a distant third possibility, maybe that wasn't actually Envy in the OP, and we have more than one shapeshifter running around.

And...oh...huh. Well, this is unexpected.

They bring Alphonse to a safehouse, and then the guy introduces himself as Greed. Which is probably not someone who Envy would bother impersonating, so this probably is actually Greed.

So, Sin Inc does in fact include multiple shapeshifters, going by his display in the OP. I suspect that he's more limited than Envy in the variety of forms he can take on, though. Becoming someone else feels much more salient to the sin of envy than it does to greed, but...well, burned up fast zombie monsters don't feel salient to greed either, so maybe I should stop trying to read too much sense into their powersets.

Greed informs Alphonse that the military has been making sapient, fully functional human/animal chimeras for some time in secret, and hints that they aren't even the only ones who can do it. He also explains that he himself is not a chimera, but rather a haemonculus, and shows Alphonse the tattoo on the back of his hand similar to the ones we saw on Lust and Gluttony.

Folklorically speaking, a haemonculus is an artificial humanlike creature said to be created by magicians or (especially) alchemists. The word is sort of a pun or portmanteau on the Greek "homunculus," which means "little man," and "haema," or "blood." As late medieval and early renaissance folklore goes, an alchemist can create miniature, golem-like humanoid creatures using some of his or her own blood as a component. This obviously has its roots in European superstitions about witches' familiars, who also supposedly feed on their masters' blood at least in some versions. In the context of this show, I think I can now take it for granted that the Sins are artificial constructs rather than summoned demons or augmented humans. The person they refer to as Father, then, must be the alchemist whose blood they were made from. I still strongly suspect that it's Hohenheim, but I could be wrong.

This does make me wonder about the seven deadly sins motif, though. Why would their creator style them after that, of all things? Very odd choice, from what I can only assume was a very odd man.

...hold on a second, actually. Edward and Alphonse did exactly that when they tried to resurrect Trisha. They said they were using their blood for "soul data," which I took to mean reconstructing their maternal genome, but whatever the reason for it they did in fact use their blood to make a person. So, Trish 2.0 would have been a type of haemonculus herself, if their creation had succeeded. Okay, things are coming together a bit.

Greed proves that he isn't human, or even transhuman, by instructing Cow to bash his head in with a sledgehammer and then - after falling to the floor limp for only a few moments - regenerates the damage in a buzz of crackling red alchemy lightning and stands back up. He then explains that, being "Greed," he wants everything that the world has to offer. And one of the things he wants, but so far has been unable to get, is genuine immortality. He's over two hundred years old, he says, and very difficult to destroy as he just demonstrated, but he will burn out eventually, and he'd like to prevent that from happening. Alphonse is of interest to him, because soulbound golems like himself actually ARE potentially immortal, if they're made well and imbued into durable or fixable enough materials. So, he'd like to learn more about Alphonse in the hope of gaining knowledge of how to extend his own lifespan, and in return he'll try to grant Alphonse a desire of his own.

That's pretty reasonable, but there's got to be a catch. If there wasn't, Greed would have just approached the brothers openly and made his offer without any threats or coercion required.

Greed tells him to start talking. And, from inside of him, Snek warns Alphonse that if he doesn't, they'll just have to learn what they can via disassembly. Alphonse tells them that he doesn't remember exactly how he became a golem, and that he isn't even the person who turned him into one.


Greed's reply, predictably, is that he wants to talk to the person who DID turn Alphonse into a golem. Which...well, Alphonse does know who that is, but given Greed's conduct so far he's understandably reluctant to disclose it.

Cut to the person in question, who is wandering around Dublith and wondering where Alphonse has disappeared off to.


God.

Fucking.

Damnit.

Al.

Did you seriously run off after the mysterious, vaguely threatening message right there on the spot without telling anyone about it? The hell, man! I know you're just a kid, but EVEN SO that was a spectacular intelligence check critfail.

I'm actually going to have to call this bad writing. Alphonse is normally quick to tell Edward about weird things like this, and he's definitely not prone to Leeroy Jenkins-ing it. So, this feels out of character for him in a way that makes me suspect the writer just couldn't come up with a better way for Al to get captured before the deadline, and went the hacky route of just making him inexplicably stupider than usual.

It's still a good episode so far, but this is an irritating weakness in it.

Fortunately, Edward is NOT acting out of character in this episode, so after Gecko creeps up to him from an alley and asks him if he's looking for his brother we just cut to a few minutes later when Edward kicks in the safehouse door and throws the bloody and half-unconscious Gecko down onto the floor in front of his cronies.


Sometimes you hate Edward. And, sometimes you just fucking love him.

Edward recognizes the tattoo on Greed's hand as the same stylized Ouroboros symbol that Lust and Envy had. But, when Edward asks him why he doesn't just ask the others of his kind how to make spirit-bound golems, since they've been doing it themselves at lab 5 for quite a while, Greed seems legitimately confused. So, I guess not all of the Sins are incorporated after all. If Lust, Envy, and Gluttony are in fact still serving their "father," then I suppose that would make Greed a rogue construct who somehow escaped his control. And, if not all of them are working together, then it is in fact possible that Lust's faction (the "loyalists," I guess we could call them) and Jack Daniels are working against each other after all.

Anyway, since Greed either doesn't know about his "siblings" or is afraid to approach them, he offers Edward a deal. He'll teach them how to make haemonculi like himself, which they could perhaps use to make new and more humanlike bodies for themselves. In exchange, he wants to know how to bind a soul to an object, so that he can try and use that on himself in much the same way. Once again, I have to say that Greed could have just approached the brothers and asked nicely before resorting to this, and would have probably had much higher chances of success that way. I guess it's in character for an embodiment of greed to always want to have the upper hand in every bargain, even to a self-sabotaging degree. Which in turn makes me wonder why the hell anyone would want to make seven deadly sins haemonculi in the first place; their very natures are constantly going to get in their own way.

...

Actually, rereading what I just wrote, maybe that's actually WHY he created them the way he did.

Each of them has an absolutely crippling character flaw that will prevent them from becoming too dangerous on their own without a more rational human mind to direct them. Lust, Envy, etc are able to get shit done because they have someone without a built-in nature-defining vice giving them orders. Greed went renegade, and despite his great ambitions and power he's unable to rise above smalltime gang leader status and become a threat to his former master, because his own greed keeps clouding his judgement.

It's a thought, anyway.

...

Edward proves me right moments later by giving a fairly epic outraged speech about how the Fullmetal Alchemist doesn't negotiate with terrorists; he beats the shit out of terrorists and makes them tell him what he wants to know. If Greed hadn't resorted to terrorism as his first option, things would have gone a lot differently, and probably better for him as well as for the Elrics.

However, that doesn't mean Greed's in a terrible position now. Just a worse one than he could have been. We've already seen how individually powerful the Sin Haemonculi are. He isn't just some two-bit street thug, however much he might act like one, and Edward's victory is by no means guaranteed. Edward takes out a chimera or two with his usual efficacy, but things get a lot harder when Greed tells the others to get Alphonse out of the room and attacks Edward himself. He transforms his hands into blackened skeleton-like claws, and uses those to parry Edward's attacks with incredible force and speed. After they each manage to bloody the other, Greed stops holding back, and extends his "ultimate shield" over his entire body.


So that isn't a "true form" hidden under his human exterior after all. It's an armor-summoning ability that just happens to look like a blackened vampire corpse.

I suspect that this is where Edward will use the disintegrating touch attack he copied from Scar. If anything is able to deal permanent damage to Greed in his armored form, it would be that, I think.

And, yup, that's exactly what Ed does! After testing it a little while parrying one of Greed's own attacks and seeing that it can actually shatter his armor at least for a moment, Edward delivers a full powered disintegration right into the haemonculus' midsection. He's not able to completely disintegrate the armor, but he weakens it to the point where conventional weapons can penetrate it and deal serious damage. And, as Edward learns throughout the battle, Greed can't seem to regenerate and armor the same parts of his body at the same time.

Still, even once he's dealt some serious damage to Greed, Edward has still suffered some considerable blood loss and is slowing down. The battle could still go either way...at least, until Izumi Kool-Aid-Man's her way through the wall. She noticed the boys were missing. Apparently Edward didn't tell her where he was going either, but I feel like that's much more in character for Edward, especially if he knows Alphonse is in trouble and needs rescue right this minute. With two hyperalchemists ganging up on him and his most formidable ability effectively neutered, Greed's prospects just got much dimmer.


And, that's where the episode ends. I guess this is effectively a two-parter. Since we ended right in the middle of the action, I'm going to hold off on the post-watch thoughts and commentary until I've seen part two as well, the week after next. Next week, meanwhile, I'll be watching an episode of "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic."
 
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