~~~Jessica~~~
I'll admit, this wasn't one of my best ideas.
"JESSICA! WHAT DID YOU DO?" Screamed a loud voice from all around me.
Okay, this was one of my worst ideas ever. It was up there with using an air horn instead of a whoopie cushion for an office prank, tendering my resignation written on a sheet of cake instead of paper, and making a milkshake with crushed breath mints. Well, the last one was only a terrible idea because my coworkers mistook the crushed mints for drugs. It tasted fantastic and I highly recommend it. The breath mint milkshake that is, not the drugs.
"Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit!" I chanted as I barreled through Chesapeake's innards. I leaped over a something-pounder cannon and spooked a crewwoman who was dumping something from a bucket out the gunport as I charged through a door behind her. I zoomed past a half-dozen crewwomen (why were they all women in the first place?) dealing cards at a table, ran through another doorway, and found myself in a tiny room with the 1800's version of a couch and a weird wooden pedestal in it. I quickly shut the doors and collapsed on the couch.
"Oh Jessica, why did you have to do this to yourself?" I asked.
Of course, the answer was that after surviving another close encounter of the Abyssal kind, my nerves were fried and my decision making braincells were on the fritz after spending over half an hour on high alert. So when Chesapeake transformed from a human-sized boatgirl for miniature people into a boat-sized boat for normal people, my first thought was 'gee, that looks a lot safer than this longboat.' My second thought was 'I wonder if all the miniature people are now Jessica-sized?'
As it turned out, Chesapeake was completely void of any crewmembers when she was ship-sized, a modern-day ghost ship. However, when I'd hopped down below decks the world had shifted. A quick peek through one of the gunports had confirmed my fears. I was now inside of a person-sized boat, instead of the other way around. My freak-out had been interrupted by Chesapeake's crew fading into existence around me like they were ghosts or something, and I'd proceeded to run into the first empty room I'd found.
Someone knocked on the door to my left. I shivered. "Nobody's here!" I yelled. "Even if they were, hypothetically speaking, they wouldn't be taking visitors at the moment. Come back later once the breakdown has passed!"
There was a pause, and then the knocking returned, the kind of sharp rapping that I knew from childhood experience meant 'open the door or I'm opening it anyways.'
I sighed. Couldn't a girl have some time and space when she's freaking out inside someone else's body? "Alright, alright, don't get your panties in a twist."
I opened up the door to reveal the world's tiniest bedroom. A short red dresser was directly in front of me, while two hammocks hung one on top of the other to my right. Crammed inside were two well-dressed crewwomen in blue uniforms. One was short and wore a blue cape, while the taller had a miniature British flag sewn on her sleeve. They were obviously officers.
"Huh, didn't know you had a multi-national crew thing going on." I stated.
The caped officer looked extremely constipated at those words, while her taller companion rolled her eyes.
"So," I began, "you caught me. Red-handed in fact. You don't do anything horrifying to stowaways do you?"
The smaller one glared at me and cracked her knuckles, before smiling and shaking her head.
I sighed in relief. "Who are you anyways?"
The taller produced a stack of parchment and handed it over to her companion, who flipped through it for a moment before pulling one out and holding it up for me to see.
We are the captains.
"Oh, cool." Seeing as no distinction between the two was forthcoming, I mentally labeled the shorter one Captain 1 and the taller one Captain 2.
Captain 1 flipped the parchment over. You shouldn't be here.
"Well it's a little late for that." I said. "The genie has been let out of the bottle, the train has left the station, Go has been passed and $200 has been collected."
Captain 2 paused, grabbed a quill and ink bottle, and wrote out something on a new piece of parchment before handing it to Captain 1. In the future, please avoid spacial distortions. Flip. It isn't good for Chesapeake's blood pressure. Or ours.
"Noted." I paused. "Wait, does Chesapeake have blood pressure? I'm inside her right now, but I don't see any veins or arteries, how does that work?"
The two shrugged in the universal language of 'fuck if I know'.
"Well, if that's all, I think I'll take my leave." I said. "It's been fun performing my own rendition of Honey, I shrunk the Jessica, but I've got places to be tall and people to see."
However, before I could leave Captain 1 snatched my arm and held me in place. I went rigid, my horror movie training having taught me that this was the part where something terrible happens to the cute blond (that's me by the way).
A new parchment was held up. First, we have a gift.
"This isn't like when Chesapeake wanted to share death with me, right? Can I pass on this? I know that apparently it's Christmas already, but can we hold off until I have a gift for you as well? Sorry I didn't bring it with me, but, you know, it's May."
Captain 2 sniffed imperiously at me and opened up the dresser. She pulled out something made of white fabric and tossed it to me.
I eyed it speculatively. It hadn't made any moves towards strangling or possessing me, so I was a little bit lost. "What is it?"
Flip. Chesapeake had us make you some garments out of spare sail.
Oh thank God. Did these two really have to give me a heart attack over it? "Thanks! These pants aren't going to stay on me much longer."
I stood there. The two watched me expectantly. I stared back. Captain 1 began tapping her foot and Captain 2 started glaring.
I narrowed my eyes. "You might be girls too, but there's no way in hell I'm letting you ogle this magnificent body. Plus, I'm pretty sure you're the ghosts of a bunch of old, dead, white dudes. Shoo!"
The captains rolled their eyes, but politely turned around. I quickly divested myself of my outer garments and put on what turned out to be a toga. I've never been more grateful for my Latin teacher's predilection for making us wear historical costumes before.
"Alright, you can turn back around. Anything else?"
We need to show you something.
"That totally isn't ominous at all." I muttered. "Alright, where are we going?"
Flip. Orlop Deck.
"The hell is an Orlop?"
The two glanced at each other in the way that clearly broadcasted, 'kids these days'. They then motioned for me to follow them.
We traveled back out of what I now realized was the captain's quarters, and went down two flights of stairs. We emerged onto a dark deck filled with barrels and rope that was lit by some weird red glow rather than sunlight. Members of the crew frantically ran back and forth, some with buckets, some with various sharp implements, and some with nothing but grim expressions on their faces.
We rounded a pile of barrels and I gasped. A glowing red thing was connected to the floor and ceiling by unnatural blue coral. The coral seemed to be slowly spreading outwards, and a dozen crewwomen were hacking away at its edges with tools. Whatever they scraped off was tossed into buckets that were then taken up the stairs and out of sight.
So that's what the crewwoman was tossing out the gunport earlier.
"What is that?" I asked.
My companions gave me a shrug before the parchment signs reappeared. We don't know.
I studied the scene before me. "How long has this been here?"
Flip. Two days.
"Okay, so this probably some Abyssal bullshit. Why are you showing me this? Doesn't Chesapeake know about it?"
The two glanced at each other. Not everything. She has been under a lot of stress lately. Flip. We thought you could break it to her gently and inform her sisters at the same time.
I stared at them. "This really looks like something you should have already told her. I know that if I had miniature Jessica's living in me, I'd want them to tell me when the meatball of doom started giving me coral cancer."
Captain 1 turned and smirked viciously at Captain 2, who sighed and held up a parchment sign. It's under control, we're slowly shrinking the affected area.
"Is that so? What're you going to do with the meatball when there's nothing left but it? That thing is obviously Evil with a capital E and it doesn't look like it'll fit up the stairs."
Flip. We don't know.
"I'm sure Chesapeake will be comforted to hear that there's no plan to deal with her tumor. Try again."
Captain 1 grabbed the quill from Captain 2, and eagerly wrote for a minute before holding up a sign that said in very sloppy writing. Worst case scenario, we haul down a 24-pounder and blast it.
I stared at them. Captain 1 was immensely pleased with herself, and while Captain 2 looked a bit peeved at having been relieved of writing duties, she didn't seem that opposed to the plan.
"While I totally sympathize with the idea of 'fuck cancer, especially its shitty Abyssal coral form', I've never heard about a doctor recommending surgical removal via cannonballs. Are you sure that's safe?"
Captain 1 nodded vigorously, and Captain 2 took the opportunity to steal back her quill and ink to start writing again. Safer than leaving it be.
They motioned for me to follow them again, and I was led back up the stairs and onto the top deck. Which, as it turns out, was the back of Chesapeake's head. I climbed out of the hatch and used her hair like rope to climb up the rest of the way. From my new vantage point on top of her head, I could see Chesapeake arguing with Christopher. I tuned them out in favor of saying goodbye to the captains.
"Well, it's been fun, but I've gotta jet. Oh, one last question. Why can't you talk?"
Captain 1 quirked her eyebrow at me. "Whatever gave you the impression we couldn't talk?"
My jaw dropped, and it took me a moment to realize that at no point had they ever claimed to be mute. "Well played."
Captain 2 sighed. "The walls have ears. We felt it best if you could break the news to her, talking about it where she can hear us would ruin that."
The two then turned and vanished back down the hatch. Whelp, show time.
"HEY!" I called, grabbing everyone's attention. Most everyone stared at me in shock, but Constellation had the presence of mind to hold up a hand for me to jump on. I took a running leap, and though I nearly tripped over some of Chesapeake's hair, I landed safely.
Constellation gently lowered her arm down to let me jump onto the floor of the longboat, and I prepared to rejoin the land of the normal-sized.
I concentrated on the feeling of being big… and absolutely nothing happened. Oh yeah, people normally didn't have the power to suddenly grow a hundred times their current size.
"Fuck!"
