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The Tinpot Princess and Her Many Travels
- Thread starter Chandagnac
- Start date
- Original
10ebbor10
DON'T PANIC
- Location
- Present
Only because of Christianity. The actual Hades of Greek Myth is not that terrible. I mean, there's the kidnapping and all that, but that's just Greek myth for you.
Chandagnac
Broken Robot
- Location
- Nowhere
I know. I was referencing the TV tropes article which talks about the tendency of modern-day authors to portray death gods from classical mythology as basically the devil.
See here: Everybody Hates Hades - TV Tropes
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Mind you, Hades was still feared greatly, because when his time comes nothing will bar his way
Chandagnac
Broken Robot
- Location
- Nowhere
Vote closed.
More than a month ago, you guys voted to ask Amber for an autograph and a map. But if she's going with Jana as her guide, you don't need a map. And I guess I'll have Jana ask for an autograph or something later. (I was originally going to have Amber autograph the map.)
However, there's no decisive answer to what Elys's Dragon Breath should be flavoured with. Electricity, fire, and ice each have the same number of votes. So, I guess I'll just have to roll dice for it.
1-2: Electricity
3-4: Fire
5-6: Ice
EDIT: I rolled a '1'. Electricity it is!
All right, it looks like you want Jana to go with Amber to the Forgotten God's temple in the Sprawl. (And, since Mawroth's shrine is in the same general area, I guess you might as well swing by there afterwards.)
More than a month ago, you guys voted to ask Amber for an autograph and a map. But if she's going with Jana as her guide, you don't need a map. And I guess I'll have Jana ask for an autograph or something later. (I was originally going to have Amber autograph the map.)
However, there's no decisive answer to what Elys's Dragon Breath should be flavoured with. Electricity, fire, and ice each have the same number of votes. So, I guess I'll just have to roll dice for it.
1-2: Electricity
3-4: Fire
5-6: Ice
EDIT: I rolled a '1'. Electricity it is!
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Flashkannon
Aqua Iconographer
- Location
- TM 91
The vote counter seems a little glitchy... Nevill, in particular, seems to be just about everywhere.
This line is unexpectedly hilarious and I can't articulate why.
125. Politeness Costs Nothing, Right?
Chandagnac
Broken Robot
- Location
- Nowhere
The vote counter loves Nevill and repeats his name as often as possible. Except in the most recent count where it tried to allay suspicion by ignoring his votes and leaving him out completely. (Yeah, I ship Nevill/Vote Counter. What's wrong with that? Still less creepy than Jana/Elys.)
Many things in this quest and A Hedge Maze Is You seem hilariously silly if you try to explain them in only one sentence.
Here's the next chapter:
*
Politeness Costs Nothing, Right?
Politeness Costs Nothing, Right?
'Yeah, that would be great,' I said, trying not to sound too eager. 'If you don't mind?'
'Nah, it's my job,' she said with a little shrug. 'Mediating between gods and mortals. That's what Cunning Women are for. Besides, it's gotta be more interesting than washing clothes.'
'Don't you have novices to do chores like that?'
'That gaggle of soppy little girls? Sure, if you don't mind them staining everything a blotchy dishwater grey. On the other hand, if you want a job done right, you need someone who knows what they're doing. That's me, usually.'
'And you won't be missed?'
Amber waved a hand dismissively. 'I figure someone else can take a turn, for today.'
Shakily, I said, 'Uh, I… think I should talk to the Forgotten God first. Years ago, an evil water spirit tried to drown me. I came very close to death. Mishrak healed my body, but the Forgotten God… well, I'm not sure what he did. Perhaps he prevented my soul's return to the Wheel. Perhaps he reunited it with my body. Or perhaps he didn't do anything. Whichever is the case, I reckon it'd be polite to talk to him first. You know, considering that I've already got a connection with him.'
'Makes sense to me,' said Amber.
'Although, if I could choose any of the gods to be my patron, I probably wouldn't choose the Forgotten One. He seems rather too grim and sombre for my tastes. I'm more of a cheerful, happy-go-lucky sort of gal, you know?' I gave Amber a bright smile, hoping she'd give me one in exchange.
Instead, she looked thoughtful. 'So… when you ask the Forgotten God if he wants you to be his Chosen, you're gonna hope he says no?'
'Well... maybe,' I said. 'D'you think that's a bad idea?'
'I wouldn't recommend offering to be the Forgotten God's Chosen if you don't actually want to be,' she said. 'Deceiving him is not a good idea. It's like the old proverb says: you can delay him, or you can hide from him, but you can't escape him forever. The Forgotten God waits for you at the end of all roads.'
'I wasn't going to lie to him!' I cried. 'I need a god to be my patron and he's as good as any!'
'And I'm sure he'd be very flattered to hear you say that,' she said with an impish smirk.
'Ugh!' I threw up my hands in frustration. 'Let's just go!'
'Which of the Forgotten God's temples do you think we should go to?'
'The one in the Sprawl,' I decided. 'That's near here, right?'
She nodded. 'All right. Follow me.'
We left the garden, walked back through the house, and saw Sister Margarethe waiting in the vestibule. Amber stopped to talk to her.
'Just to let you know: I'm escorting Jana here to the temple of the Forgotten God in the Sprawl,' she said.
Margarethe folded her arms, sniffed, and said, 'Do as you will. You always do.'
'In that case, I didn't need to tell you where I'm going: I'm just being polite,' said Amber with a cheeky grin. 'Maybe you should try it sometime?'
At that, Margarethe made a disgusted noise, turned away, and retreated from the room with a gait that somewhat reminded me of a praying mantis.
'Wow. She really doesn't like you,' I said.
Amber gave an insouciant shrug. 'Hey, I can't help it if she's allergic to fun. Come on, let's go.'
*
The House of Cunning Women was in a nice part of town. Not the richest, or the most noble, but it had cobbled streets, houses built of sturdy stone and timber, and most of the people I saw in the street were relatively clean, plump, and well-dressed.
That's not to say that everything about it was pleasant. I saw a lot of horse: some of them with riders, others pulling carts or carriages. Everywhere that horses are the main source of transport, they do what horses do. I wrinkled my nose at the smell. Fanciful legend has it that the streets of Truinon are paved with gold; in reality, they're paved with a fine layer of horse shit.
We had to pass through a gate to get to the Sprawl. The guard on duty raised his eyebrows but didn't do anything to stop us. I think his job was to keep disreputable types from getting out of the Sprawl rather than to stop anyone from getting in. He gave Amber a respectful bow as she passed. 'Be careful out there,' he said. 'The Sprawl is a dangerous place, even for Cunning Women such as you.'
Amber's face was set in a determined expression. 'We'll risk it. Got a job to do.'
'On your own heads be it,' said the guard, opening the gate for us.
Immediately, I was shocked by the contrast between the Sprawl and where I'd just come from. They were so unalike, it was as if I'd stepped into a different country. I'd come from the part of Truinon its rulers wanted people to know about: bustling, prosperous, and attractive to the eye. On the other hand, the Sprawl was a place where the city's poor could be walled off and forgotten about. It was a teeming shantytown where makeshift shelters were tightly packed around dilapidated ruins. The shelters were made of chunks of rotting wood, lumps of crumbling masonry, scraps of rusted iron, sheets of tarred canvas, and anything else their makers had been able to find. All around, the streets were piled high with filth and refuse. It was a playground for flies, rats, and other vermin. The stench was so eye-wateringly horrible that the smell of horse manure was sweet perfume by comparison.
'It's no worse than the back streets of Flotsam,' I said, trying to convince myself. 'This is pretty much a home-from-home for me.'
At first glance, the streets looked deserted, but when I took the time to carefully survey my surroundings I realised that there were people everywhere. Hunched figures sitting in their shelters, staring balefully at me. Eyes peering out from underneath a sheet of tarpaulin or through a crack in a crumbling wall. Hooded silhouettes in the alleyways. I felt like they were all staring at me.
Some children crept out of their hiding places and started playing in the street, splashing through the puddles and flinging globs of mud at each other. They were grubby, emaciated children with pinched faces and bright, hungry eyes.
One of them scampered up to me and said, in a shrill piping voice, 'Spare a coin, miss?'
I'd brought some money with me. I would have said yes. But Amber forestalled me. She shook her head, kept a tight grip on my arm, and guided me onwards without a word.
We kept moving, silenty and with purpose, ignoring all possible distractions. The Forgotten God's temple was at the other end of the street. It was a grey, squat, ugly-looking building like an oversized tombstone. However, even if it was dusty and soot-blackened, it still looked functional and well-maintained. Unlike all the other structures in the Sprawl, it didn't look in any immediate danger of collapse.
Amber dragged me through the open door and into the temple. I saw rows of pews, devotional murals on the walls, a pair of locked doors, and a stone altar by the back wall.
'Why did you stop me?' I asked. 'I would only have given him a few coppers. It's not like I can't afford it.'
'If you'd done that, you'd have been assailed by a whole crowd of needy children just like him. They'd have stripped you down to your underwear in less than a minute. Seriously, kids around here are the most unbelievably skilful pickpockets.' She shook her head in wonderment.
'I… I felt sorry for them. I wanted to help them.'
'In the Sprawl, kindness is a weakness. Generosity is a weakness. Charity is a weakness. To live here, you've gotta be strong or quick or cunning enough to take what you want. Nothing else matters.'
'I was like them, once. Poor and on the verge of starvation.'
'Not anymore. Since then, you've lived most of your life as a noblewoman's treasured pet: a life of luxury, pampering, and complete idleness,' Amber said harshly. 'You think that hasn't changed you? You think you're still the same person you were when you were a starving street rat? Of course, you're not.'
I sneered at her. 'You assume too much. Everything you just said is wrong. I'm nobody's pet!'
'Oh? Whatever you say. Let's just do what we came here to do.' Amber sat down on the nearest bench and put on a show of boredom and indifference.
'I don't think I'm wrong to want to help these people,' I said. 'Charity is a virtue, isn't it?'
'There's a soup kitchen near here, run by devotees of Lissa and Nyssa. If you want, we can stop there on the way back and you can leave a donation.' She sighed heavily. 'Be as charitable as you like, that's fine. Very noble of you. Just do it where it's likely to do some good. Don't open yourself up to being robbed by a pack of thieving urchins.'
I thought about what it would be like to live in a place like this. I realised that I didn't blame those children for trying to rob me. If I were in their situation, I'd do the same. I said as much to Amber.
She rolled her eyes. 'Under the circumstances, I'm not going to say they're wrong to do what they do. They survive as best they can. You should do the same, Jana.'
One of the inside doors opened. A terrifying figure lurched into view: a tall, muscular man with horrific scars over one side of his face. He looked as if he'd been partially flayed. One of his eyes was gone, apparently gouged out. His scars were old and sealed-over, but he was still an unnerving sight. Especially since he was wearing a bloodstained leather apron and holding a scalpel in one hand.
What did Jana do? (Choose one)
[] Be polite: "Good afternoon, sir. Are you a priest of the Forgotten God?"
[] Defer to Amber: "Amber, do you know this man?"
[] Shout: "Argh! It's a monster! An undead monster!"
[] Scream and run away.
[] Summon her cold iron dagger and attack.
[] Ask: "Uhh… what's going on here?"
[] Do something else (write in).
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- Location
- St. Petersburg
Yes, the counter-chan is quite a tsundere, hm. Maybe she is jealous of the forum one that I recommended more than on one occasion.
I didn't want to raise that point before the vote closed, since I don't want to come across as trying to sway people, but I didn't really like the Forgotten God. First, he is much too passive - more so than Teryn or Mishrak, - and far less involved with the living world. Second, he is close to Teryn - his boss, actually - and therefore we run into a problem of having the same god-patrons. Anyone willing to cross Teryn likely isn't opposed to crossing him either. Third, it nudges the Three Not-Quite-Sisters (Elys, Jana and Bella) towards a somewhat morbid outlook, with only Mishrak covering life and two others covering death's various aspects. I liked Mawroth as a natural transitory step between the two extremes. :M
Someone has to kill them all so that Teryn could sort them out.
[x] Defer to Amber: "Amber, do you know this man?"
Anyway, let's listen to sempai. She has been a great role model so far.
I didn't want to raise that point before the vote closed, since I don't want to come across as trying to sway people, but I didn't really like the Forgotten God. First, he is much too passive - more so than Teryn or Mishrak, - and far less involved with the living world. Second, he is close to Teryn - his boss, actually - and therefore we run into a problem of having the same god-patrons. Anyone willing to cross Teryn likely isn't opposed to crossing him either. Third, it nudges the Three Not-Quite-Sisters (Elys, Jana and Bella) towards a somewhat morbid outlook, with only Mishrak covering life and two others covering death's various aspects. I liked Mawroth as a natural transitory step between the two extremes. :M
Someone has to kill them all so that Teryn could sort them out.
[x] Defer to Amber: "Amber, do you know this man?"
Anyway, let's listen to sempai. She has been a great role model so far.
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Chandagnac
Broken Robot
- Location
- Nowhere
Bear in mind, I didn't actually want people to vote for the Forgotten God. However, in light of what Faith said, I decided to put together an argument for why people should vote for the Forgotten God instead of just dismissing him out of hand. My argument ended up being rather too successful and swaying many of the voters. Which leaves me with the question of how to resolve this.
Because they weren't relevant to my argument, I didn't mention any of the reasons why the Forgotten God might not be a suitable divine patron for Jana. For example, she herself mentions that she might not be temperamentally suited to being his Chosen:
Also, the Forgotten God has good reasons for not getting involved in the living world. He suffered disastrous and irreparable damage at the end of the First Age/start of the Second Age, so he's very cautious and tries not to give his enemies any opportunities to damage him more. He prefers to act through Teryn and his other minions (including Valurhiag the judge of the dead, Lacuna the mystery goddess, and so on). For that reason, the Forgotten God might not want a Chosen. (If Jana became his Chosen, his enemies could hurt him by attacking Jana.)
So yeah... we'll see how it goes.
Fortunately, I have a plan. I hope that all my readers will be satisfied by it, in the end. (Isn't it lucky that I've learned to treat the readers' vote as only a rough guide to future events in this story?)
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ImperatorV
The Laughing One
- Location
- The Voyaging Realm
I'm not sure how much I buy the temperament thing. The most famous chosen of the Forgotten God is Teryn, who is easily in my top three most fun deities in the Hedge Maze/Tinpot Princess universe. Then again, Teryn is also implied to be really busy and basically always on the job. Maybe Jana would get along better with a more casual crowd then Team Death (that's their name now btw).
...Hmmm. I was kinda hoping for FG because I like the narrative arc it creates, but if it doesn't work out it doesn't work out. There's plenty of other things to try.
- Location
- Somewhere!
- Pronouns
- She/Her
[X] Be polite: "Good afternoon, sir. Are you a priest of the Forgotten God?"
C'mon, we know way weirder people.
C'mon, we know way weirder people.
[X] Be polite: "Good afternoon, sir. Are you a priest of the Forgotten God?"
I have mixed feelings on Amber, on one hand I like her, on the other hand she seems to have absorbed some toxic classism, but is somewhat aware of it and is helping us. Also wow this place is grim and I find Amber's snippy "Treasured pet" stuff intriguingly like Jana's old view on how the nobles and deities viewed her.
I have mixed feelings on Amber, on one hand I like her, on the other hand she seems to have absorbed some toxic classism, but is somewhat aware of it and is helping us. Also wow this place is grim and I find Amber's snippy "Treasured pet" stuff intriguingly like Jana's old view on how the nobles and deities viewed her.
Flashkannon
Aqua Iconographer
- Location
- TM 91
[x] Defer to Amber: "Amber, do you know this man?"
I feel like Amber may be right as to the character of individuals in this part of town, so it might do us good to defer to her judgement in this matter instead of reaching for politeness.
I feel like Amber may be right as to the character of individuals in this part of town, so it might do us good to defer to her judgement in this matter instead of reaching for politeness.
Those who climb out of a lower class are often the most classist. They know the gap is small and don't want to go back
- Location
- United States
- Pronouns
- He/Him
[X] Be polite: "Good afternoon, sir. Are you a priest of the Forgotten God?"
