Minato's flock find themselves in the world of The Stanley Parable for...some reason.
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The Sekirei Parable Demonstration (Sekirei/The Stanley Parable)
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Snippet 1
A/N: This fic got a bit of a following on QQ so I figured I'd post it here as well to get more exposure for it. Enjoy.
XXXXXX
[BGM: Exploring Stanley]
Minato's flock of Sekirei were puzzled. One moment they were with their Ashikabi in Matsu's room, the next they found themselves staring at a white brick wall that was inches from where the tips of their noses were. Miya was also there with them, dumbfounded like they all were if not more so. Strangely, however, Minato was absent. It was like a kidnapping in reverse.
On the wall was the message, 'The Stanley Parable Demonstration'
"Uh, Matsu, where are we?" Musubi inquired, her cowlick morphing into a question mark as she cast a glance over to the windows outfitting the walls of the absurdly high ceiling above them. They couldn't even see anything out of them it was so damn bright. It was as if she were simply looking out into a pure white void that was only meant to make it look like the outdoors was particularly sunny.
"Yeah, Matsu-nee-chan. Where's big brother?" Kuu peeped, tugging at the redhead's dress.
"I don't know," she said as her eyes wandered around the room along with the rest of the Sekirei's. Next to her was a large rectangular wooden sign that had an orange arrow painted on it. Wherever they were, obviously their abductor wanted them to have some sort of direction. "Seems like a parking garage of sorts."
After turning around, the group wandered further inside until they gathered at the center.
Sure enough, three vehicles were parked next to a small set of steps leading to a door, confirming Matsu's suspicion. And speaking of doors…
"Pray tell, I just noticed this garage has no garage doors, let alone any way of reaching the outside." Tsukiumi pointed out, thumbing her chin as she pondered, eyes focused on the roofed ceiling. "How did these cars get in here?"
"Good question," Miya responded. Her mask began to creep over her shoulder, hissing its purple flames. "Matsu, please explain what just happened. Why have we been teleported from the inn?"
"I have no idea! I swear! I just got this odd game off steam and wanted to record our reactions to it as a keepsake and poof!"
"Are you saying the game somehow trapped us inside it?" Homura asked, dumbfounded at the absurd claim. First a battle royal, and now sentient video games with agendas. Wonderful. "You do realize how stupid that sounds, right?"
"It's all I can come up with! I'm just as stumped as the rest of you!"
"Well, wherever we are, we won't find out if we just stay put." Kazehana chimed in.
"Agreed," the landlady said, bowing her head and taking a stride over to the only door in the room. At the very bottom of the steps next to the wall was another wooden sign with a message in yellow paint that said,
And yes, 'demonstration' was misspelled.
Not that it mattered much since none of them could read English besides Matsu.
Below it was another arrow with the message THIS WAY.
"Whoever or whatever is holding us hostage must not think too highly of our IQs…" Matsu mumbled. The arrow literally pointed the way toward the only exit, right next to the damn exit.
Musubi pointed at the sign and began waving her arm to grab everyone's attention. "Hey everyone, look! I think this arrow is trying to tell us something!"
"Nothing gets past you, Musubi." Homura sweat dropped with his sarcasm.
Miya led the group through the open door. After a short trek up another flight of steps they found themselves at a receptionist's desk. Strangely, no one was in the seat. Just beneath the ceiling windows behind the desk was a number that had just ticked up from 27 to 28.
A voice came over an intercom, "Welcome to The Stanley Parable Demonstration! Your number is 28. When your number is displayed, please enter the demonstration room. Thank you, and have a pleasant demonstration."
A door to their left then opened automatically.
"Uhh, okayyyyyy?..." Matsu labored.
"What is the meaning of this?! Where have you taken us? Where is my husband?!" Tsukiumi hollered as she got hot under the collar, or her choker as it were.
"I don't think she can hear you, Tsukiumi." Homura pointed out.
"Best pay along and do as it says for now." Miya considered aloud. "We may get answers quicker that way."
"Lead the way, Miya-sama!" Musubi cheered.
The group went through the newly opened door and entered a short hallway outfitted with white and grey bricks. At the end of it was another door that also automatically opened for them as they approached. A sign standing next to the door read WAITING ROOM with a hand pointing literally right next to the door.
"My, I never would have thought the waiting room was through there if not for the sign pointing it out to us." Matsu grumbled in annoyance.
Wandering inside, they were stunned to see that no one was there waiting their turn. There was plenty of furniture and magazines to read as well as some nice paintings hung for them to look at, but nothing worthy of note other than a number above the double doors directly across from them that was slowly ticking up from the number 22.
"Should we wait our turn?" Kuu asked curiously, tilting her noggin to her shoulder.
"Yeah, we only have to wait a bit longer for 28." the landlady surmised. She looked over at one of the clocks to check the time. Its second hand was going in reverse and ascending counterclockwise. "Odd."
"This is some Star Trek conspiracy nonsense right here," Matsu noted as she took note of the clock too.
They took rest on one of the several blue sofas the waiting room offered as they lingered for their number to show. Homura snagged a magazine from the coffee table. On the cover was the label 'TIME' and clocks were littered all over it. Opening it he found much of the same. There weren't even any articles or texts of any sort for that matter. Just pictures of clocks, watches, and sundials. He tossed it aside, knowing a long day was ahead of him.
Soon enough their number appeared and they went on their way through the doors into a green hallway that broke off to the right. Ahead of them was a collage of four images of 'famous demos' if the label below them pointing it out wasn't enough of a giveaway. They paid it little mind and proceeded in.
XXXXXX
The Sekirei Parable Demonstration
[BGM: Exploring Stanley]
Minato's flock of Sekirei were puzzled. One moment they were with their Ashikabi in Matsu's room, the next they found themselves staring at a white brick wall that was inches from where the tips of their noses were. Miya was also there with them, dumbfounded like they all were if not more so. Strangely, however, Minato was absent. It was like a kidnapping in reverse.
On the wall was the message, 'The Stanley Parable Demonstration'
"Uh, Matsu, where are we?" Musubi inquired, her cowlick morphing into a question mark as she cast a glance over to the windows outfitting the walls of the absurdly high ceiling above them. They couldn't even see anything out of them it was so damn bright. It was as if she were simply looking out into a pure white void that was only meant to make it look like the outdoors was particularly sunny.
"Yeah, Matsu-nee-chan. Where's big brother?" Kuu peeped, tugging at the redhead's dress.
"I don't know," she said as her eyes wandered around the room along with the rest of the Sekirei's. Next to her was a large rectangular wooden sign that had an orange arrow painted on it. Wherever they were, obviously their abductor wanted them to have some sort of direction. "Seems like a parking garage of sorts."
After turning around, the group wandered further inside until they gathered at the center.
Sure enough, three vehicles were parked next to a small set of steps leading to a door, confirming Matsu's suspicion. And speaking of doors…
"Pray tell, I just noticed this garage has no garage doors, let alone any way of reaching the outside." Tsukiumi pointed out, thumbing her chin as she pondered, eyes focused on the roofed ceiling. "How did these cars get in here?"
"Good question," Miya responded. Her mask began to creep over her shoulder, hissing its purple flames. "Matsu, please explain what just happened. Why have we been teleported from the inn?"
"I have no idea! I swear! I just got this odd game off steam and wanted to record our reactions to it as a keepsake and poof!"
"Are you saying the game somehow trapped us inside it?" Homura asked, dumbfounded at the absurd claim. First a battle royal, and now sentient video games with agendas. Wonderful. "You do realize how stupid that sounds, right?"
"It's all I can come up with! I'm just as stumped as the rest of you!"
"Well, wherever we are, we won't find out if we just stay put." Kazehana chimed in.
"Agreed," the landlady said, bowing her head and taking a stride over to the only door in the room. At the very bottom of the steps next to the wall was another wooden sign with a message in yellow paint that said,
STANLEY PARABLE
DEMONSTATION
DEMONSTATION
And yes, 'demonstration' was misspelled.
Not that it mattered much since none of them could read English besides Matsu.
Below it was another arrow with the message THIS WAY.
"Whoever or whatever is holding us hostage must not think too highly of our IQs…" Matsu mumbled. The arrow literally pointed the way toward the only exit, right next to the damn exit.
Musubi pointed at the sign and began waving her arm to grab everyone's attention. "Hey everyone, look! I think this arrow is trying to tell us something!"
"Nothing gets past you, Musubi." Homura sweat dropped with his sarcasm.
Miya led the group through the open door. After a short trek up another flight of steps they found themselves at a receptionist's desk. Strangely, no one was in the seat. Just beneath the ceiling windows behind the desk was a number that had just ticked up from 27 to 28.
A voice came over an intercom, "Welcome to The Stanley Parable Demonstration! Your number is 28. When your number is displayed, please enter the demonstration room. Thank you, and have a pleasant demonstration."
A door to their left then opened automatically.
"Uhh, okayyyyyy?..." Matsu labored.
"What is the meaning of this?! Where have you taken us? Where is my husband?!" Tsukiumi hollered as she got hot under the collar, or her choker as it were.
"I don't think she can hear you, Tsukiumi." Homura pointed out.
"Best pay along and do as it says for now." Miya considered aloud. "We may get answers quicker that way."
"Lead the way, Miya-sama!" Musubi cheered.
The group went through the newly opened door and entered a short hallway outfitted with white and grey bricks. At the end of it was another door that also automatically opened for them as they approached. A sign standing next to the door read WAITING ROOM with a hand pointing literally right next to the door.
"My, I never would have thought the waiting room was through there if not for the sign pointing it out to us." Matsu grumbled in annoyance.
Wandering inside, they were stunned to see that no one was there waiting their turn. There was plenty of furniture and magazines to read as well as some nice paintings hung for them to look at, but nothing worthy of note other than a number above the double doors directly across from them that was slowly ticking up from the number 22.
"Should we wait our turn?" Kuu asked curiously, tilting her noggin to her shoulder.
"Yeah, we only have to wait a bit longer for 28." the landlady surmised. She looked over at one of the clocks to check the time. Its second hand was going in reverse and ascending counterclockwise. "Odd."
"This is some Star Trek conspiracy nonsense right here," Matsu noted as she took note of the clock too.
They took rest on one of the several blue sofas the waiting room offered as they lingered for their number to show. Homura snagged a magazine from the coffee table. On the cover was the label 'TIME' and clocks were littered all over it. Opening it he found much of the same. There weren't even any articles or texts of any sort for that matter. Just pictures of clocks, watches, and sundials. He tossed it aside, knowing a long day was ahead of him.
Soon enough their number appeared and they went on their way through the doors into a green hallway that broke off to the right. Ahead of them was a collage of four images of 'famous demos' if the label below them pointing it out wasn't enough of a giveaway. They paid it little mind and proceeded in.
Snippet 2
Ascending some steps they halted at some brown furnishings when they heard an omnipresent voice humming. Across the room from the loveseat and living chair was a wall encased in monitors. Twelve in total, three rows, and four columns. All of them had rectangular lines of each color in the rainbow. It was like a live feed was cut. Upon taking a few steps forward, the screens went dark and the two in the very center showed the word 'WELCOME!' and someone began to speak.
"Oh hello hello hello, welcome to the Stanley Parable live demon-er, wait what's this?"
[BGM: Leaving Stanley]
The Sekirei were taken aback by the disembodied voice addressing them. They glanced around the room to see who was speaking, but no one was there beside them. Where was it coming from?
"Anime characters? In my demo? This game isn't known for any weeaboo nonsense...or is it? No, no. This isn't right at all. Hold on, let me consult my notes…" The voice trailed off to his supposed documents. Sounds of papers being flipped open and rustled through were heard. Apparently, he was just as confused as his guests were. "Did someone mod my game? How the hell did you all get in here? This place is supposed to be completely empty besides Stanley. And speaking of him, where is he?" he gasped. "Did you kill him?"
"No! We didn't do anything like that!" Matsu replied. "We just kinda…appeared here out of nowhere. Who are you?"
"AND YOU CAN SPEAK?!" The Narrator shrieked. "Now I know this isn't part of the demo! I'm the only one who was given a voice for it! Not even Stanley himself has a single line of dialogue and he's the main character! What the hell is going on? Who are you and what do you want with my story?"
"None of us have any idea what you're talking about or who this 'Stanley' is." the landlady said sternly with a hint of annoyance. "As Matsu said we all just got transported here somehow. Can you let us go home?"
The Narrator hummed. "I wish I could help you, but this is all new to me. I'm simply a narrator for the experience. I don't even like anime, especially the kinds that throw around gratuitous fanservice as if giving characters big busts and limited attire makes up for a lack of plot and cohesive narrative!" he grumbled frustratedly following his rant, then sighed. "But it seems we're trapped here with each other for the time being. We may as well make the most of it…"
"I think not! Show thyself, coward!" Tsukiumi roared. "Return me and my housemates to my husband at once! We havest no time for games!"
"Yeah!" Kuu backed her.
"Shakespearean English?" the strange voice questioned. "Apparently you aren't from the same time period as the others. Your character design fits the art style of everyone else's, but that voice is rather out of place..."
"No, she's with us." Homura said, rolling his eyes.
"Is that so? Well, that's odd…"
"Odd?! Hold thy insults, cur!" Tsukiumi grumbled, growing more agitated.
"Seriously why do you speak that way? I may have a funny accent, but at least I have the excuse of being British! You're Japanese! In fact all of you are! Why was the dub chosen over the far superior sub?!"
"None of us have a clue why she does it, it's just her thing." Kazehana tittered. "And for the record, all of us are aliens."
"Riiiiight…"
"Bite thy tongue before I rip it from thy maw…" A tic mark throbbed on Tsukiumi's head. Honestly, she didn't have a clue why she did it either, but she'd be damned if she let him get one over on her at her expense. "My breasts may be large, but my modesty is something I take pride in! Or dost thou not have the temerity to direct thy arrogant words to my face in person?!"
"Modesty? You think you're modest? Hahahahaha, don't make me laugh!"
"How dare thee! I am the most prim and proper of all the Sekirei and you best not forget it!"
"Well, you should have considered that before deciding to parade around in a fetishy gothic maid outfit. Seriously, one gust of wind will result in a famous Marylin Monroe mishap. You know the one I'm talking about..."
"RRRRRAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!" Tsukiumi roared as everyone snickered at her expense, remembering each time the Narrator's assumption resulted in that very mishap. Oh, the many many dozens. "Thy will pay dearly for such remarks! My outfit is classy! Thou simply has no taste!"
"Mhm," the narrator hummed. "Keep telling yourself that, blondie. I'm simply unfurling a simple observation of it like doves from a magician's cuff."
"You said this is a game demo, right?" Matsu cut in as Tsukiumi's teeth began to grind over themselves. "Well maybe if we all play it to the end we might be able to find answers and maybe free ourselves."
"Hmm, the redhead with the glasses and bigger boobs makes an astute point. Perhaps you can all roleplay as Stanley…yes, yes! I can make a story out of this nonsense!"
"What would role-playing as Stanley require us to do?" Matsu inquired. "We don't even know who Stanley is so how can we emulate his behavior?"
"Oh, it's easy! Just do everything I tell you to do without question!"
"Come again?" Tsukiumi sweat dropped.
"Ah yes, I see it! All that nervous tension and looming uncertainty! Why don't we drink in the anticipation for a moment! Just for twenty minutes or so."
"Twenty minutes? That's quite a stretch." Kazehana commented.
The voice ignored her. "Please for just twenty minutes, don't move or act in any way. Simply remain motionless and let the thrill of demoing the Stanley Parable wash over you!"
The monitors began flashing the message 'PLEASE REMAIN MOTIONLESS'.
The group shared confused glances amongst themselves for a brief moment.
"Should we do as he says?" Homura asked no one in particular. He was in no mood for this at all, but what choice did he have?
"I refuse to stall while my husband's life is at stake!" Tsukiumi argued, stomping her heeled boot.
"Oh I get it, you're all too anxious and can barely hold still! Tell you what, I think we should walk off that nervous energy before getting the demo underway…" A red arrow pointing to the left blinked on the monitors and not long after a hidden passage opened up for them to follow. "Here, why don't I take you all on a little tour of the facility and show you how we make a demonstration for a game like The Stanley Parable."
The flock gathered at the opening and peered inside at the catwalk looming over the exposed area before looking at one another to gauge their reactions. They were all unnerved, but since they were all superpowered aliens, they decided to play along. If an ambush was waiting for them, they'd still have an advantage even if Miya wasn't there with them.
Their slight footfalls clomped on the metal catwalk as they tread inside. On the wall in the distance was the message,
The floor on the lower level was also empty aside from a couple of open doors and stacks of cardboard boxes littered about.
The voice chimed in again, "This is where I and the other proctors have been working meticulously to construct a demo that explains clearly and concisely exactly what the Stanley Parable is. How it plays and why the player should spend real-world money on the main game."
"Yeah, well I'm still not buying it." Homura quipped as he followed the path along with the rest much to the narrator's chagrin.
He grumbled as he continued the explanation as they entered a room that served no purpose other than to connect to another catwalk that led them deeper into the complex. "Video game demonstrations are tricky and without the proper technology, you run the risk of the player having no idea what to expect in the full version."
Not long after, the catwalk led them to a stairwell housed in a room that had dozens of big red buttons lining the walls, the majority of which were out of reach.
The advisor spoke again as they descended them, "Ah, here is one such technology. These buttons are meant to convey the meaning of choice and the decisions you make. After all, choices carry tremendous meaning and consequence, didn't you know that? Go ahead, why don't one of you try picking one of these buttons to press and we'll see what your choice says about you!"
The group paused, looking around at the multitude of big red buttons surrounding them.
Miya approached the door and jiggled its handle. "It's locked."
"I guess we need to push a button for him to let us out," Matsu concluded. "So, who wants to do the honors?"
"Oh hello hello hello, welcome to the Stanley Parable live demon-er, wait what's this?"
[BGM: Leaving Stanley]
The Sekirei were taken aback by the disembodied voice addressing them. They glanced around the room to see who was speaking, but no one was there beside them. Where was it coming from?
"Anime characters? In my demo? This game isn't known for any weeaboo nonsense...or is it? No, no. This isn't right at all. Hold on, let me consult my notes…" The voice trailed off to his supposed documents. Sounds of papers being flipped open and rustled through were heard. Apparently, he was just as confused as his guests were. "Did someone mod my game? How the hell did you all get in here? This place is supposed to be completely empty besides Stanley. And speaking of him, where is he?" he gasped. "Did you kill him?"
"No! We didn't do anything like that!" Matsu replied. "We just kinda…appeared here out of nowhere. Who are you?"
"AND YOU CAN SPEAK?!" The Narrator shrieked. "Now I know this isn't part of the demo! I'm the only one who was given a voice for it! Not even Stanley himself has a single line of dialogue and he's the main character! What the hell is going on? Who are you and what do you want with my story?"
"None of us have any idea what you're talking about or who this 'Stanley' is." the landlady said sternly with a hint of annoyance. "As Matsu said we all just got transported here somehow. Can you let us go home?"
The Narrator hummed. "I wish I could help you, but this is all new to me. I'm simply a narrator for the experience. I don't even like anime, especially the kinds that throw around gratuitous fanservice as if giving characters big busts and limited attire makes up for a lack of plot and cohesive narrative!" he grumbled frustratedly following his rant, then sighed. "But it seems we're trapped here with each other for the time being. We may as well make the most of it…"
"I think not! Show thyself, coward!" Tsukiumi roared. "Return me and my housemates to my husband at once! We havest no time for games!"
"Yeah!" Kuu backed her.
"Shakespearean English?" the strange voice questioned. "Apparently you aren't from the same time period as the others. Your character design fits the art style of everyone else's, but that voice is rather out of place..."
"No, she's with us." Homura said, rolling his eyes.
"Is that so? Well, that's odd…"
"Odd?! Hold thy insults, cur!" Tsukiumi grumbled, growing more agitated.
"Seriously why do you speak that way? I may have a funny accent, but at least I have the excuse of being British! You're Japanese! In fact all of you are! Why was the dub chosen over the far superior sub?!"
"None of us have a clue why she does it, it's just her thing." Kazehana tittered. "And for the record, all of us are aliens."
"Riiiiight…"
"Bite thy tongue before I rip it from thy maw…" A tic mark throbbed on Tsukiumi's head. Honestly, she didn't have a clue why she did it either, but she'd be damned if she let him get one over on her at her expense. "My breasts may be large, but my modesty is something I take pride in! Or dost thou not have the temerity to direct thy arrogant words to my face in person?!"
"Modesty? You think you're modest? Hahahahaha, don't make me laugh!"
"How dare thee! I am the most prim and proper of all the Sekirei and you best not forget it!"
"Well, you should have considered that before deciding to parade around in a fetishy gothic maid outfit. Seriously, one gust of wind will result in a famous Marylin Monroe mishap. You know the one I'm talking about..."
"RRRRRAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!" Tsukiumi roared as everyone snickered at her expense, remembering each time the Narrator's assumption resulted in that very mishap. Oh, the many many dozens. "Thy will pay dearly for such remarks! My outfit is classy! Thou simply has no taste!"
"Mhm," the narrator hummed. "Keep telling yourself that, blondie. I'm simply unfurling a simple observation of it like doves from a magician's cuff."
"You said this is a game demo, right?" Matsu cut in as Tsukiumi's teeth began to grind over themselves. "Well maybe if we all play it to the end we might be able to find answers and maybe free ourselves."
"Hmm, the redhead with the glasses and bigger boobs makes an astute point. Perhaps you can all roleplay as Stanley…yes, yes! I can make a story out of this nonsense!"
"What would role-playing as Stanley require us to do?" Matsu inquired. "We don't even know who Stanley is so how can we emulate his behavior?"
"Oh, it's easy! Just do everything I tell you to do without question!"
"Come again?" Tsukiumi sweat dropped.
"Ah yes, I see it! All that nervous tension and looming uncertainty! Why don't we drink in the anticipation for a moment! Just for twenty minutes or so."
"Twenty minutes? That's quite a stretch." Kazehana commented.
The voice ignored her. "Please for just twenty minutes, don't move or act in any way. Simply remain motionless and let the thrill of demoing the Stanley Parable wash over you!"
The monitors began flashing the message 'PLEASE REMAIN MOTIONLESS'.
The group shared confused glances amongst themselves for a brief moment.
"Should we do as he says?" Homura asked no one in particular. He was in no mood for this at all, but what choice did he have?
"I refuse to stall while my husband's life is at stake!" Tsukiumi argued, stomping her heeled boot.
"Oh I get it, you're all too anxious and can barely hold still! Tell you what, I think we should walk off that nervous energy before getting the demo underway…" A red arrow pointing to the left blinked on the monitors and not long after a hidden passage opened up for them to follow. "Here, why don't I take you all on a little tour of the facility and show you how we make a demonstration for a game like The Stanley Parable."
The flock gathered at the opening and peered inside at the catwalk looming over the exposed area before looking at one another to gauge their reactions. They were all unnerved, but since they were all superpowered aliens, they decided to play along. If an ambush was waiting for them, they'd still have an advantage even if Miya wasn't there with them.
Their slight footfalls clomped on the metal catwalk as they tread inside. On the wall in the distance was the message,
THE STANLEY PARABLE
DEMO CONSTRUCTION FACILITY
DEMO CONSTRUCTION FACILITY
The floor on the lower level was also empty aside from a couple of open doors and stacks of cardboard boxes littered about.
The voice chimed in again, "This is where I and the other proctors have been working meticulously to construct a demo that explains clearly and concisely exactly what the Stanley Parable is. How it plays and why the player should spend real-world money on the main game."
"Yeah, well I'm still not buying it." Homura quipped as he followed the path along with the rest much to the narrator's chagrin.
He grumbled as he continued the explanation as they entered a room that served no purpose other than to connect to another catwalk that led them deeper into the complex. "Video game demonstrations are tricky and without the proper technology, you run the risk of the player having no idea what to expect in the full version."
Not long after, the catwalk led them to a stairwell housed in a room that had dozens of big red buttons lining the walls, the majority of which were out of reach.
The advisor spoke again as they descended them, "Ah, here is one such technology. These buttons are meant to convey the meaning of choice and the decisions you make. After all, choices carry tremendous meaning and consequence, didn't you know that? Go ahead, why don't one of you try picking one of these buttons to press and we'll see what your choice says about you!"
The group paused, looking around at the multitude of big red buttons surrounding them.
Miya approached the door and jiggled its handle. "It's locked."
"I guess we need to push a button for him to let us out," Matsu concluded. "So, who wants to do the honors?"
Snippet 3
"I'll push the big button!" Musubi declared happily. As her hand neared it, they all went dark for some reason. She gave it a push anyway but it wouldn't budge. "Hey, what gives?"
"Sorry, Musubi." Matsu sighed. "But it looks like Kusano beat you to the punch." she aimed a finger at the green girl, who was grinning ear to ear.
"Yay! I'm helping!" Kuu cheered, striking a pose like superman.
The narrator swallowed, "Uuuuuuhhhhh… oh dear heavens…"
[BGM: Informing Stanley]
"What's wrong, God?" Matsu questioned.
"Well, this is awkward…" the narrator trotted off. He seemed quite perturbed for some reason.
"Mind filling us in?" Miya asked. "What did we do wrong?"
"It's not that you did anything wrong, it's…well, how do I put this?"
"Just spit it out already and let us go." Homura grumbled annoyed.
"I wish it were that simple. You see, in order for that door to open, any of these buttons needed to be pressed and I needed to say something rather…well…inappropriate to trigger the unlocking mechanism. No matter which was pressed I would have said the same thing. If anyone else had pressed the button I'd have no issue doing so, but the fact a child was the one to do it more than gives me pause…"
"Well, it's either that or we're going to be trapped here forever," Kazehana muttered. "What do you need to say?"
"Something that will make me question my own morality directing it towards someone so innocent. Give me a moment to collect myself while I think of something. Sit tight!"
"Sorry, everyone." Kusano squeaked, hanging her head.
Miya gave her a pat on the head. "It's fine, Kuu. You didn't know."
After a few minutes of wandering about, the narrator finally came back. "Okay, I think I've found a solution to our dilemma," he said, clapping his hands.
"Awesome." Matsu said. "What needs to be done?"
"Alright, I'll speak the magic words, but before that, I must ask one of you to cover the child's ears before I say them. Trust me, it's for her own good as well as the good of my own conscience."
"Oh my, is it really that bad?"
"Yes. Do it." he demanded sternly.
"Well, you heard the British guy." Matsu sighed. She walked over to Kusano and knelt down. "Come here, Kuu."
"But I wanna hear what God has to say!" she whined.
"No, you don't. You really, really, really don't." the narrator cringed.
Miya glanced over and smiled. "Let Matsu cover your ears and I'll let you buy a pet for the inn once we're free."
"Really, what kind of pet?" the flower child asked.
"Anything your little heart desires."
"I want a bunny!"
"Then a bunny it will be."
"Yay!" she cheered.
"Hold still Kuu," Matsu instructed.
"Okay!"
She clamped her hands over her ears and looked up at the lights. "Okay, her ears are covered."
"Are you certain she can't hear anything?"
"What?" Kuu asked.
"Positive." Matsu nodded.
"Excellent." The narrator cleared his throat and proceeded to read the line. "How fascinating. Did you know that 94% of all people who select that particular button are…" he paused.
"Are what?" Tsukiumi blinked. "Out with it. We haven't all day."
The narrator sighed and tried again to finish his statement. "This is difficult for me, but I'll say it. Did you know that 94% of all people who select that particular button are sexual predators?"
The group did a collective spit take.
*CLANG!
"Ow!" the narrator cried. "Where the hell did this ladle come from?! It just appeared out of nowhere and hit me in the back of the head!"
"It's nothing less than what you deserve. Pervert." Miya smirked.
The narrator grumbled and the door swung open. "Just get going, everyone."
"Sorry, Musubi." Matsu sighed. "But it looks like Kusano beat you to the punch." she aimed a finger at the green girl, who was grinning ear to ear.
"Yay! I'm helping!" Kuu cheered, striking a pose like superman.
The narrator swallowed, "Uuuuuuhhhhh… oh dear heavens…"
[BGM: Informing Stanley]
"What's wrong, God?" Matsu questioned.
"Well, this is awkward…" the narrator trotted off. He seemed quite perturbed for some reason.
"Mind filling us in?" Miya asked. "What did we do wrong?"
"It's not that you did anything wrong, it's…well, how do I put this?"
"Just spit it out already and let us go." Homura grumbled annoyed.
"I wish it were that simple. You see, in order for that door to open, any of these buttons needed to be pressed and I needed to say something rather…well…inappropriate to trigger the unlocking mechanism. No matter which was pressed I would have said the same thing. If anyone else had pressed the button I'd have no issue doing so, but the fact a child was the one to do it more than gives me pause…"
"Well, it's either that or we're going to be trapped here forever," Kazehana muttered. "What do you need to say?"
"Something that will make me question my own morality directing it towards someone so innocent. Give me a moment to collect myself while I think of something. Sit tight!"
"Sorry, everyone." Kusano squeaked, hanging her head.
Miya gave her a pat on the head. "It's fine, Kuu. You didn't know."
After a few minutes of wandering about, the narrator finally came back. "Okay, I think I've found a solution to our dilemma," he said, clapping his hands.
"Awesome." Matsu said. "What needs to be done?"
"Alright, I'll speak the magic words, but before that, I must ask one of you to cover the child's ears before I say them. Trust me, it's for her own good as well as the good of my own conscience."
"Oh my, is it really that bad?"
"Yes. Do it." he demanded sternly.
"Well, you heard the British guy." Matsu sighed. She walked over to Kusano and knelt down. "Come here, Kuu."
"But I wanna hear what God has to say!" she whined.
"No, you don't. You really, really, really don't." the narrator cringed.
Miya glanced over and smiled. "Let Matsu cover your ears and I'll let you buy a pet for the inn once we're free."
"Really, what kind of pet?" the flower child asked.
"Anything your little heart desires."
"I want a bunny!"
"Then a bunny it will be."
"Yay!" she cheered.
"Hold still Kuu," Matsu instructed.
"Okay!"
She clamped her hands over her ears and looked up at the lights. "Okay, her ears are covered."
"Are you certain she can't hear anything?"
"What?" Kuu asked.
"Positive." Matsu nodded.
"Excellent." The narrator cleared his throat and proceeded to read the line. "How fascinating. Did you know that 94% of all people who select that particular button are…" he paused.
"Are what?" Tsukiumi blinked. "Out with it. We haven't all day."
The narrator sighed and tried again to finish his statement. "This is difficult for me, but I'll say it. Did you know that 94% of all people who select that particular button are sexual predators?"
The group did a collective spit take.
*CLANG!
"Ow!" the narrator cried. "Where the hell did this ladle come from?! It just appeared out of nowhere and hit me in the back of the head!"
"It's nothing less than what you deserve. Pervert." Miya smirked.
The narrator grumbled and the door swung open. "Just get going, everyone."