The Rabbit Sergeant and the Dragon Cult

Not really; the point of the ritual was to move him from 'outside' of the world to 'inside' of the world. But it didn't change the fundamental nature of his being (except in all the ways it did or may have). It brought him forth.

...One of the things that I thought of and didn't write - there wasn't a place for it to fit, until (literally as I type this) I realize I could have included it in her talk with Nowroski - is Jess regretting that there were so many questions she could have asked Vranex, if not for the fact that Vranex would literally not know he didn't have the true answers. There is no way for anyone to know if Murray reached out into the void and encountered Vranex, the Dragon God, or encountered Vranex, the shapeless spirit that immediately took on the role of Dragon God, or created a shapeless spirit that took on the name Vranex and the role of Dragon God. All three would produce an identical result, including the memories.
 
Chapter 11.2
"Don't think I didn't see those sergeant stripes on that uniform, Agent Dunbar."

Jess leapt to her feet, heat flooding into her face as she looked up at Agent Brooks. "Sorry, sir!"

The stern expression on his face cracked immediately. "Gotcha! It's for the best, probably. You're in a complicated situation, legally, so falling back to how things were two days ago is not a problem. Besides, my understanding is that you were working with what you had. One question - and I'm not objecting, per se, but, why the emphasis on taking Deresfedt alive?"

Jess drew a deep breath. Quietly, levelly, she said, "Beating Vranex was the next-best thing. We talked about it last night, me, Becky, Conlon. What we did today was we showed the world that America could beat Vranex. That was good. That was important. But stopping Vranex from being summoned would have been better. We had to beat his prophecy, and the best way to do that would be a high-profile trial. That'd be what he called the 'old world' triumphing against the 'new world.' This way the new world set the terms. And there's a weakness in what we did, too."

He frowned. "What would that be?"

"We beat Vranex. But what if someone summons a more powerful god?" Jess shrugged. "It was going to happen sooner or later, I think. I still have no idea how to categorically block something like that."

Brooks grimaced. "That makes a rather disturbing amount of sense. I take it you turned your gear in?"

Jess glanced down at her uniform. She had changed it back into her cammies; she'd had to, in order to take off her armor. The rank tab was, once again, tucked into her pocket. She set her notebook - the old one, the one with *notes* - down onto the small table next to the empty teacup - and took a deep breath. "What now, Agent Brooks?"

He sighed and nodded at her chair, then took the one against the wall to her left. He looked around the room. It was dimly lit, but bustling, with black-suited Secret Service agents sitting at computers, watching camera feeds, or talking quietly among themselves. "Like I said, complicated situation. We have orders cut and signed, an AGR slot. You'd be in Glynco for a few months for the Academy, then come back here and be about half magical trainer and about half specialist expertise on call. Unfortunately, the orders are on hold."

Jess bit her lip and shifted position in her chair. "On hold?"

"Four days ago, Rogers was looking for someone who would be allowed to use your skills, and the people he found was us. We're Air Force, we need people with top secret clearances, and we aren't an intelligence agency. Unfortunately, and I say unfortunately with good humor, in the past four days you helped uncover a magically potent cult, marked targets for air support and artillery, broke the blockade of the nation's capital, and killed a god on live TV." He paused, trying and almost succeeding in hiding his grin. "Which means we have competition."

"Don't look at me," called Rawley. "We're perfectly willing to let you foot the bill for her training, then borrow her from time to time."

Brooks shot a scathing glance at Rawley. Then he shrugged. "FBI said the same thing. In the exact same words."

"Jake must have stole it from me. It's what I said to him last night."

Brooks shrugged. "Well. The joke may be on all of us."

"Oh?"

The OSI agent rolled his eyes. "I don't know what's going on down there. The SECDEF may be trying to talk the President into telling the Senate to back off on individual security clearances. Or, I dunno, but the Cabinet's been talking for a while now. Dunbar, just to check, how hard would it be for you to take a civilian position?"

She shrugged. "I'm a reservist. All they have to do is modify my orders, pay out my leave, and that's that." She frowned. "It'd be weird. I've been on active orders as long as I've been Jessica Dunbar."

He nodded. "Okay, that's good. And to go back on Active Duty?"

"Basically the same. Terminate my orders, release me from my enlistment, and I swear back in as active."

"Got it. Well, one way or another, you're about to get at least one job offer, and quite possibly more."

She sighed. "That's reassuring." She held the empty teacup in front of her, then pulled her bracelet hand back. A ring of runes appeared midair over the teacup, and a stream of steaming liquid poured into the cup.

He stared at the cup, looking a little pale. "Reassuring for who, exactly," he murmured.
 
She held the empty teacup in front of her, then pulled her bracelet hand back. A ring of runes appeared midair over the teacup, and a stream of steaming liquid poured into the cup.
The true victory is achieved: hot coffee on demand.

I also liked the implication of managing population belief between old and new expectations.
 
Chapter 11.3
Conlon stepped into the room, nodding cautiously at Rawley. Then he took the seat that Brooks had vacated twenty minutes earlier. "So you're still here?"

Jess rolled her eyes. "Maybe you should be a detective."

He grimaced. "Not what I meant. They cut me loose hours ago. I had time to drop Ms. Thompson off, bring something to Mrs. Demillas, talk to my Captain, and come back here."

"What happens with the case?"

"Well, the only suspect died resisting arrest. There'll still be some legwork to find the rest of his victims, and clean up the cult." He heaved a sigh. "We hit them hard today, right in the beliefs. A bunch surrendered, but the rest scattered, and there's a lot of work to figure out who died, who was killed, who's still a threat."

Jess slumped. "It wasn't enough, then."

Conlon shook his head. "I don't think they'll try to summon Vranex again, which is the best we could hope for. But between the ones who tasted too much power to give it up - and didn't lose it all when they saw Vranex go down - and the ones who were too warped to go back to normal, well, things will never be the same again."

She sighed. "That's been coming for six months. Longer."

"I can see that, now." Conlon pulled the crucifix out from under his uniform, looking at it for a long second. "And it does have its upsides. But I expect my caseload is about to double, because they're probably going to give me all the 'weird' cases until we can get some more people trained up. Which brings me to my next question. Are you going to be sticking around?"

Jess shrugged. "That is the plan. But the plan is subject to change."

"How likely is it to change?"

She grinned ruefully, raised a finger, and circled it around the room. "They haven't cut me loose yet, have they? I'm pretty sure they're not going to be reassigning me to McMurdo or Thule, but if they decide to put me into R&D or back into Intel, then I'll be going west."

Conlon scowled. "It'd be a waste of your talents."

"I'm not so sure about that." Jess shrugged. "Brooks thinks I'd be a good investigator, but there's nothing I contributed on that side. Expertise - well, that's something anyone can develop, and I'm not the only one who has."

He nodded at her bracelet. "How many people have come up with that thing on your wrist?"

She opened her mouth, then shut it.

He flashed her a grin. "From what I've seen your bracelet is about as flexible as my cross, and considering the circumstances, that means rather a lot. I've had a chance to talk with Thompson, and with Demillas, and with Nowroski. I've had more time to talk with you. I watched that speech you gave at the Senate hearings." He leaned back and looked straight ahead. "Do you still think that magic is as transformative as electricity?"

Jess looked at the floor. "I didn't think they'd listen if I said what I really thought."

"Who would, until they saw it in action? But when you were in those Senate hearings, magic was a thing of bizarre accidents and parlor tricks. You saw this coming." Conlon raised his head and stared levelly at her. "You know what I think you should be doing."

Her chest squeezed. "I know, and I know you're right. But I have to do what they tell me to." She smiled at him. "I swore an oath."

He sighed. "Well. Even if they wind up wasting however much of your time at some academy, everyone wants you as a teacher. They may not want you as a teacher first right now, but they will within a year." He crooked a grin at her. "On that note, my chief wanted me to use my 'personal connection' to see if we could get you to teach some of ours a few tricks, starting with the invisibility dispelling one."

"You and every other police department and federal agency in America."

"Well, purely in the interests of keeping the MPD as high up on the list as I can, of course, I'm having a cookout at my place tonight to celebrate surviving. Are you in?"

A White House staffer knocked politely on the open door. "Agent Dunbar? If you'd come with me, please? They're not ready for you quite yet, but we'd like you on standby."

Jess stood, looking at Conlon, who was also standing. "I'm not sure. Babs just got back, and..."

"Bring her. The Demillas, too, and their kids." He clasped her shoulder. "My husband would love them."
 
"Bring her. The Demillas, too, and their kids." He clasped her shoulder. "My husband would love them."
I'm fairly sure this is the first time we've heard he was married or gay. Which I suppose makes sense there wasn't really any way to mention it without it being shoehorned in. So congratulation of resisting doing that. Most people make being gay a central character point whereas in this ones its the fact he's a cop as it should be.
 
I'm fairly sure this is the first time we've heard he was married or gay. Which I suppose makes sense there wasn't really any way to mention it without it being shoehorned in. So congratulation of resisting doing that. Most people make being gay a central character point whereas in this ones its the fact he's a cop as it should be.
A cop and significantly religious both have been (plot) important before. Gay and married, didn't come up.
 
This chapter felt a bit superfluous. At the start of the story, the government had no idea what to do with Dunbar. Now, nearing the close (I think?), The government still had no idea what to do with Dunbar.

It's well written, as usual, but I question it's role with the larger story.
 
Honestly the main reason this scene (and most of this chapter) exists is that I felt compelled to tie up all the loose ends. All the ones that matter are left for the actual epilogue. Which is why Jess is in positional limbo in this scene and the last. Though it is different from the beginning: there no one knew what to do with her, here no one knows who gets to keep her.

For added fun it was as I was drafting this scene that I had torpedoed a good chunk of my plans for the one sequel that I had a good vision and a very rough outline for. Quite simply there is no way for Jess to fit in that story.

Fortunately I did come up with a last-minute substitution that work even better.
 
Quite simply there is no way for Jess to fit in that story.
You could use a different main character, maybe? This is an interesting universe and I'd love to see more of it after all. But given you said you thought of something even better, I'm already hopeful for that. ^_^

Though on another note, speaking of wrapping up loose plot threads, I hope Charlie the Dragon will be ok.

Edit : Also, on doing a reread, I noticed this.

Conlon shrugged. "It is a language, right?"

"It's a language, right?" Conlon shrugged.
I'm pretty sure only one of these should be in that chapter, not both right after one another.
 
Last edited:
And fixed!

As for the sequel, yup, it took me about two seconds to slot in a different character for the role. It was always going to be a different main character, but my plan was for one of the supporting roles to be Jess undercover.
 
Chapter 11.4
Jess closed her eyes and relaxed into her chair. It didn't work too well; the hallway, right outside the Cabinet Room, had chairs that were selected more for their looks than for their comfort. If it had been softer, then she could imagine she was sitting in Becky's basement. Especially since, with her thumb on one of the two paperclips on her notebook, she could hear them sniping at each other the way they always did.

"You'd better not imagine for a second I didn't see your name on that recording, Barbara Thompson. You were there. You were at Ground Zero."

Jess couldn't help the grin as she caught the worry Becky was trying to mask with tartness.

Babs, on the other hand, was going for nonchalant. There was tension there, too, but it was being pushed aside. "And?"

"I want details! I want to know you're okay! I want to grab you and shake you a bit!"

"Becky, I'm busy! I have like five minutes until I have to talk to my boss!"

"That's five minutes you can spend giving me details!"

"No, it's five minutes I need to plan for what I'm going to say to my boss! Becky, I'm supposed to do research and write articles. I'm supposed to conduct interviews and gather data. I'm not supposed to be wearing armor and filming battles!"

"Armor- Babs, were they shooting at you!?"

"Not particularly!"

"You get right over here so I can check you out!"

"I had a shield! I'm fine! Look, I have to talk to my boss, and then I think I have to get grilled by my coworkers."

"Fine, but you're coming to my place for dinner. Both of you."

"Becky, I'm busy! I just got back into town!"

"And just because you got back into town you can't spend time with your oldest friend - a friend who is somewhat limited in mobility right now? A friend who's subject to hormone swings and wants to make sure her two best friends have no bullet holes in them? Or burns? Or bite marks?"

"Becky, Jess was in this way deeper than you are, and you might be my best friend, but I am going to spend tonight doing a very thorough inspection to make sure she doesn't have any bullet holes." Babs paused, her voice dropping into a sultry register, and added, "And maybe adding a few bite marks."

A pleasant shiver ran up Jess's spine even as her face went red. "Babs!" she choked out.

"And you have kids, Becky. I can't exactly fool around on the floor with my girlfriend in your house with your family around. And..."

"And?"

"You know, I can't shake the worry that at some point I'm going to crack open one of your books, start reading, and realize I just read a blow-by-blow account... You do write romance novels, after all."

"Oh, please. Nothing you'd do in front of me would be worth wasting page-space for a blow-by-blow." Becky paused. "Come to think of it, Jess, have you read any of them? Because-"

"No," Jess said firmly, her face still red-hot, her throat a little tight.

"But you're my friend!"

"I have read them, Becky. I have read all of them. And the answer is no. I am not going to read your sexy scenes so you can watch my face while I read them."

"Spoilsport."

Jess sighed. "In all seriousness, Detective Conlon invited us to dinner. Including your kids, Becky."

"Okay, I'm up for that, but you have to come by the house today, anyway, and pick up your little pet."

"Pet? What pet?"

A door opened next to Jess. She opened her eyes as a White House staffer said, "Agent Dunbar, they're ready for you."

"I gotta go, bye!" She stood, straightened her uniform.

As her thumb slid off the paperclip, she heard Babs' voice. "What pet-"
 
Last edited:
"You'd better not imagine for a second I didn't see your name on that recording, Barbara Thompson. You were there. You were at Ground Zero."

Jess couldn't help the grin as she caught the worry Becky was trying to mask with tartness.

Becky, on the other hand, was going for nonchalant. There was tension there, too, but it was being pushed aside. "And?"
I think one of those Becky names should be Barbara.

"Okay, I'm up for that, but you have to come by the house today, anyway, and pick up your little pet."
I'm glad at this sign of the best dragon doing ok.

A door opened next to Jess. She opened her eyes as a White House staffer said, "Agent Dunbar, they're ready for you."
...Did you really have to leave us another cliffhanger?
 
Fixed.

As far as cliffhangars go, yes, I absolutely had to. Last cliffhanger for this story, though, since I have active disinterest in writing what goes on in the next chronological event, so what comes next is the epilogue epilogue after a bit of a timeskip.

I am actually still hard at work on a sequel, though I'm worried that I'm about to hit a wall because I need a better outline.
 
With that ending line, methinks there are going to be many a bag of large breed dog lizard food being bought in their future....
 
Epilogue
Jessica Dunbar stood at the front of the wood-paneled room, her hands folded in front of her as she leaned against the empty whiteboard. She gave her notebook one last regretful look, but it would be no help. She had never given this particular briefing before. That was the point, after all. No one had. It would be important. It would set the tone. But it was also so very new.

The dozen or so tables in the room were already occupied, two men or women to a table. Jess surveyed the group, nodding to a few familiar faces. Agent Nash was there, from the Secret Service, who had been in what went down in Washington. Steve Reynolds, from the National Institute of Standards and Technology, had been working with her for a month now, mostly helping her get things stood up. This marked a change in that relationship. She was pretty sure this was the first time she'd seen Ann Gardner out of her uniform; the woman was from her unit in the Reserves.

That left a good twenty people who she'd never truly met. She'd been in on their interviews, she'd read all their resumes, but so many people at once were beyond her ability to process. To her they had blurred together and to her other self they were total strangers. It was, to at least some extent, mutual; she saw them flipping through the notebooks she'd set out on all the desks with some curiosity, looking at her, talking to each other. All of them knew what they wanted to get from this, but none of them knew what was coming.

A soft chime sounded in her ear. It was time. She stood up, taking a step away from the whiteboard, and gestured sharply through the air. The spell trigger satisfied, a red marker flew through the air and began writing on the board behind her.

"Good morning," she said, projecting, "and welcome to the National College of Mages. For those of you who may have forgotten, my name is Jessica Dunbar and I will, to the extent that is possible, be your instructor in our inaugural induction course. The reason I say it that way is because we are all in this together. None of us in this room knows what will work. None of us knows how long it will take. But every single person in this room is here because they want to be a mage."

She glanced at the whiteboard behind her. The marker had dropped itself to the tray, leaving several neatly written rows of text in English. She nodded to herself, then kept going, holding up her hand to each row as she touched on it. "Here is the rough plan: we're going to make sure that everyone in this room can at least cast a basic spell. We're going to get everyone started on learning Arcane, writing circles, and basic enchantment. Then we start getting more complicated with triggers, nested circles, and eventually, we'll wrap up with the graduating project: one of these."

Jess raised her braceletted arm and tapped the wrist with her other hand, causing the spells tied to her wrist gestures to light up. She ran her fingers up her arm, and spells lit in a sequence from red to green to purple. She went back to the light blue, scanned the runes to make sure it was the right spell, and tugged it 'off' her arm. Grabbing the ring in both hands, she held it for a second, and what looked like a golden racquetball dropped out of the air. She released the ring, which vanished, and caught the ball.

She tossed the ball up in the air, looked around the room, and said, "Before we get started, any questions?"

One of the men - she didn't remember his name, but she was pretty sure he had been in the State Department - leaned forward, raising two fingers. "Why will we be making our own bracelet things?"

Jess pursed her lips and caught the ball. "For a couple reasons. First of all, these are really complicated, so if you can make one, we know you're capable of all the things we need you to know. That's what makes it a graduation project. Maybe you won't be able to read Arcane without a dictionary yet, but you'll be able to enchant an object with multiple nested commands, triggers, replaceable spells, and so on. Second, my triggers may not be the best. You may come up with a better version, and we'll be able to share that with the college. Third, this bracelet is an object holding a complex enchantment. It's entirely possible to wipe the enchantment, and you might need to make a replacement yourself. You may also want to make a temporary change. Maybe you're working in another country and you want to make sure the thing you're using to hold your spells can't be taken from you, or will stop working after it is, or will only work until sundown."

He nodded and leaned back. A younger man, who was one of their recent college grads, raised his own hand. "Um, what, exactly, will we be doing after we're done with this class?"

Jess flashed him a bright smile, then raised her shoulders in a shrug. "In terms of what, exactly, you will be doing, right now your guess is as good as mine. What I can tell you right now is that we will *not* be lacking for work. Some of you will be turning right back around, taking what we learn from this run of the course and teaching it to our next class of recruits. You may have noticed we currently take up half a floor in a four storey building. We will be changing that, but that will take more teachers, more classes, more students."

She shrugged again. "Some of you will be seconded back to the organizations you came from, figuring out what the typical member of that organization needs to know and teaching it, figuring out what the specialist needs to know and teaching. Some may be working in research. Some will be doing things that right now we think is impossible." The smile faded from her face. "Over the course of this class, the Secretary and I will be working with each and every one of you to figure out where you are needed most."

Nash tilted her head. "What's with the ball?"

Jess caught the ball again. "This? Oh, it's to keep the disruption to a minimum."

Nash frowned. "What disruption?"

As if on cue, a black thunderbolt rammed through the open door. Everyone in the class twisted to see what it was, and the creature - a scaled, winged lizard almost three feet long from nose to tail, paused on one table, glorying in the attention.

"Hey there, Charlie," Jess said, smiling. "Were you looking for something?"

The dragon's head snapped to look at her, then at the golden ball in her hand.

"Do you want this?" She tossed it up in the air again.

The ball rose, fell, and was caught once more. Charlie followed it with his whole head, his attention transfixed.

"Then go get it!"

The ball bounced off the door, hit the corridor, and accelerated. The dragon vanished after it, claws skittering on the tiles.

Jess looked back at the class. She shrugged. "Like I said, you may be doing things we think are impossible."
 
The dragon's head snapped to look at her, then at the golden ball in her hand.

"Do you want this?" She tossed it up in the air again.

The ball rose, fell, and was caught once more. Charlie followed it with his whole head, his attention transfixed.

"Then go get it!"

The ball bounced off the door, hit the corridor, and accelerated. The dragon vanished after it, claws skittering on the tiles.
Charlie is best dog
 
I like the closing scene being in a classroom. It drives home the point that the world is now changing more so than a comparatively more closed off family unit.

Also, seconded on Charlie as best dog.
 
Back
Top