The Need to Become Stronger

[Sophronius]

What is Sasuke's darkness technique?

Click to shrink...

Ahh, I was hoping someone would ask that. Well, it's one of the solvable secrets of the story - something the reader is encouraged to figure out for themselves, ala a mystery plot. Or at the least, at this point in the story you should go "hey... this seems vaguely familiar. Where have I seen a technique like this before?"

So far I haven't managed yet to get readers piqued enough to actually discuss and speculate on this sorta thing together, as was so great to witness with HPMOR. One day, though

 

[Raviollius]

Some kind of mental influence on Sasuke from Obito/Tobi/Madara is the first thing I've thought, but I guess most people are waiting to see if it's gonna be something in character or the result of the AU universe/your writing style.

 

[Sophronius]

Wow, 18 likes on the last chapter already? I guess acting like a man-whore and begging for likes really is pretty effective, huh?

Either that or people genuinely liked it, but that's crazy talk. Anyway, ninjas!


Chapter 20

Team Seven stood in silent remembrance. Four graves were arrayed before them, mirroring the four ninjas with almost perfect symmetry. The birds were chirping merrily, the sun shone with not a cloud in the sky and all seemed right in the world once more – yet appearances are oft deceiving, and if the people on that hill had no outwardly visible injuries, that did not mean that they had no wounds to bear.

They were standing on the same hillock where Zabuza and Haku had stood, each side overlooking the village from their own perspective while discussing the coming battle. The events of that day and the next kept repeating themselves in Naruto's head, over and over, as he sought to make sense of it all.

He turned to his teacher, and asked the same question of before. "Kakashi-sensei… why is there war?"

His teacher gave him a lengthy sidelong glance before replying. "You know why: You just witnessed it." Kakashi still relied on a makeshift crutch to stand – the result of overexerting himself in his fight against Zabuza and the events leading up to it. Although he was not leaning on it as heavily as two days ago, it still felt wrong to see the famous ninja look so very mortal. "In order to be effective tools, shinobi must be relied on to obey their orders unquestioningly," he added. "But different people are loyal to different masters, who each have different aims. When those aims conflict, the result is war."

It was almost the exact same answer as the one Haku had given him.

"It shouldn't have to be that way." Naruto gestured sullenly at the burned-out wreckage of the village below, which had proven impossible to salvage. After healing the injured as best they could, the surviving villagers had been forced to move inland, in search of other places to make their home. "These people had nothing to do with any of this. The only reason they were killed is because we didn't want them to die! Can't everyone agree to just… not do that sort of thing?"

"We could," Kakashi agreed. "We could all agree to never kill or steal or lie, and the world would be better for it if we did. But then, the moment one party became stronger than the others, they would realize it's to their advantage to break those rules. That's why the First Hokage made it his mission to capture the nine Tailed Beasts, and divide them amongst the elemental nations. He believed that if we were all equally powerful, it would no longer be to anyone's advantage to wage war. We would have no choice but to cooperate."

"But it didn't work," Sakura said softly. "The wars only became bigger and bloodier, and they lasted longer. It made no difference that it wasn't to anyone's advantage; people simply aren't rational. They fought because they were angry about friends who had died in the past, because they were afraid others would attack first, or because they believed things that simply weren't true and were too stubborn to admit they were wrong about."

Naruto stared hard at the graves before him. "But then we should have less war as people learn more and become smarter. Instead it's like it doesn't change anything at all: Smart people only invent better reasons for doing the same stupid things." He clenched his fists as he recalled the realization which had not even come to him until after the immediate danger ended. "Haku had the ability to teleport. Instant travel and communication, and he used it to kill people. He could have helped to save the world…"

"But he didn't want to save the world," Sasuke pointed out. "He wanted to do whatever his master told him to, and Zabuza wanted to take over the Land of Water." He shook his head. "That's the mistake Hashirama made, and the reason he and Uchiha Madara had their falling out. Hashirama was naïve enough to think that people were innately good and desired peace, and so he wanted to give the Tailed Beasts away. Madara thought humans were bastards who would always long for war, and decided that the only way to secure peace was to gather so much power that nobody would ever think to challenge their might. Hashirama won their final duel, but it seems to me that Madara won the argument."

Was that what it had been about? Jiraiya had made Madara out to be some sort of violent madman, but wanting to protect his Village from his best friend's naivity seemed almost commendable. Even if he were still alive, would someone like that really have burned down the Leaf just to kill Naruto's father?

Naruto kept staring at the graves before him, as well as the simple wooden posts that marked them. There were four of them in a row, one for each of the people whose names they knew. The rest of the villagers had been buried by their surviving kin or had their remains gathered in a mass grave close to the ruins of the village. It seemed wrong, that so much death would change so little – that the rest of the world would keep on going like nothing happened, but that was the way it was.

He recalled the image of Tsunami, recounting the tale of her husband's death as she washed the dishes, bowing low before them and begging them to avenge his death. It had been the wrong thing to ask. She should have begged them to take her father and son to Konoha instead, or somewhere else where they would be safe. But Naruto should still have done it, even if she had not thought to ask.

"That's settled, then," he said at last. "If we're going to fix this stupid, broken world, we're just gonna have to become stronger. We'll become so amazing that everyone will have no choice but to listen to us, and we'll succeed even if everybody else failed, simply because we've got no choice. Then we'll make everything better, and we'll just make doubly sure not to make any mistakes that only end up making things worse like the First Hokage did."

Both Sakura and Kakashi smiled at him then, and even Sasuke wore that enigmatic little half-smile of his. For the briefest moment, it was like everything was back to the way it used to be.

"Well," said Kakashi, "I guess that wraps it up. My legs are getting tired, so…" He started walking down the hill with his wooden crutch, but stopped when he realized that only Sakura was following him.

"I'm gonna stay a little bit longer," said Naruto. "I need some time to think."

"Yeah," said Sasuke. "Same here."

Kakashi nodded. "All right, we'll see you at the base of the hill, then. Take care, children." Their sensei walked off into the distance with slow and painful movements, Sakura shooting worried glances over her shoulder as she went along.

As they left, Naruto's gaze shifted to the smallest of the four graves. They had put Inari's resting place next to that of his father, because that is what they thought he would have wanted. A set of unused fishing hooks was displayed before it, like a tribute to gods and spirits that none of them believed in. Those rituals had not changed either, for all that they understood the underlying reality of it.

"I gave him an explosive tag," Naruto whispered, sounding disbelieving even to himself. "I taught him how to mould chakra. I encouraged him to fight, even though he was only a child…"

"Everybody is a child to somebody," Sasuke assured him. He had his hands in his pockets and he was slouching as usual, but somehow he looked more genuine – as though he had cast off a protective layer and left himself vulnerable. "If only responsible adults were allowed to make decisions, nobody would ever do anything. You can't hold yourself responsible for the choices other people make."

Naruto nodded absentmindedly – he was only half-listening. "I've spent a lot of time thinking, the last few days, about all the dumb stuff I've done. About the mistakes I made, and how needlessly reckless I've been. But even now, I still don't get why Inari changed his mind so quickly. He was so bent on how pointless it was to fight against Gato and how everything would go all wrong, and then the next day he's suddenly all about gaining power and protecting his family, and I don't get why."

Sasuke shifted his weight uncomfortably, moving from one foot to the next. "I don't think he ever meant any of it. Not really. He was probably just looking for an excuse to change his mind."

Naruto turned to face his teammate. Perhaps it was the way he said it, or just the fact that Naruto had never seen Sasuke look uncomfortable before, but that was the moment he knew. "It was you."

"What?"

"That night – you left me and Sakura at the dinner table with Tsunami, while Kakashi and Tazuna were getting the beds set up. Where were you? You went to Inari's room, and you convinced him to fight, didn't you? You're the one that got him killed!"

"No! I never – I never meant to..."

The horrified look on Sasuke's face was all the confirmation Naruto needed, and the smouldering fury that welled up inside him brought new certainty in its wake. "What Kakashi said back at the training grounds, about how you convinced us to fight Gato just so you could get some combat experience… what did he mean by that?" Before Sasuke could give an answer, the next realization hit him. "You were complaining about the lack of combat missions even back in Konoha, and then we get a C-rank mission the next day – but of course the Lord Uchiha would be able to pull some strings to make that happen! And then it turns out we're up against one of the Seven Swordsmen, what're the odds of that? Tricking us into accepting a dangerous mission – was that Tazuna's plan to save some money, or did you whisper that idea in his ear too?"

"What? No, that's insane! How the hell could I have known about any of that?"

"You could've used the Sharingan to read the minds of any civilians heading for the mission office! You've been itching for a fight right from the start. Edging me on to take more risks, keeping Sakura quiet, and then right when it gets dangerous you hide away and let me fight Haku all by myself. Why?"

"I went back for you, you ungrateful – I saved your life!"

"I never asked for you to save me! All I wanted was to protect Tazuna-san, but you, you blew him up! We had to scrape his body off the stones of the basement, and there still wasn't enough left of him to fill his grave!" Naruto clenched his fists, and in tandem with the heaving of his chest he could feel angry tears forcing their way out through his eyes. "All I wanted... all I ever wanted was to save somebody!"

For a second it was silent, only the sound of Naruto own heart beating in his chest as he tried vainly to get his feelings back under control. He looked up again, fearing what he would see.

"Tazuna was already dead." The compassionate boy of before was gone, and in his place the cold and merciless Lord Uchiha stood once more. "He was dead before I detonated the explosive tag, and he was dead before I placed it. A part of him died when he decided to fight Gato, and a greater part of him died when he got ninjas involved. But even before then, the bridge builder died when he made the fatal mistake of being born a civilian." Danger seemed to waft from Sasuke as he spoke those words. When Naruto looked he saw that there was nothing there, but he could have sworn the air was colder and emptier than it had been before. "In this world, all people ever do is use and abuse each other; if you have no power your life is worth less than nothing, and you can't but expect people to treat you accordingly. I thought you would have learned that by now, Naruto."

Naruto flinched, as much from the raw strength of Sasuke's presence as from the words he spoke. It had sounded far too much like what he had sometimes thought, silently and only ever to himself, about the way people treated him. When others walked over you like you were not even there, it was hard to think otherwise than that this was simply the way humans were. That if this was the way you were treated if you had no power, if that was how people acted when they had the slightest excuse, then maybe human nature was no more salvageable than the burned-out remains of the village below. And if that was the case, then maybe all his talk of saving the world was just one more instance of Naruto being stupidly stubborn, like the way he had risked everything just to save Tazuna's life. If that was the case, surely the rational response was to just give up, and find something less painful to do with his time?

Naruto took one more look at the graves, and knew his answer. "No."

"What do you mean, no?"

"I mean I decline your invitation to join you in depression," Naruto replied. "You keep saying how dark and hopeless everything is, like you're trying to convince yourself it's okay not to try and make things a little better. That's not even a real worldview: You're just a scared little boy who's mad at the world." He looked up at the sky, where the sun was still shining, and the birds were singing happily to announce the new day. "I don't really know what happened to you and your clan that made you like this, but I guess it must've been pretty bad, huh? It's okay though, Sasuke-kun… one day I'll fix everything even if you don't, and I'll be sure to fill the world with extra rainbows and puppies, just for you."

Sasuke looked like he wanted to strike him then and there, but he visibly held himself back. "Sakura was right about you, Naruto," he bit out instead. "You really are unbearably naïve!"
​

-o-​

From the base of the hill Sakura watched the distant figures arguing, and let out a long sigh. "Can you believe those two? We barely have a moment's peace, and they look about ready to declare a new war."

Beside her, Kakashi-sensei gave a mild shrug. "That's just what boys are like at that age. You should have seen me and Obito, back in the day: The way we used to go at each other's throats would have made those two look like lifelong friends in comparison."

His one eye was misting over ever so slightly, as it usually did when he brought up the past, and Sakura frowned as she remembered what he had told them back when all of this started. "You never did finish telling us that story, Kakashi-sensei. What really happened after Rin got captured and you and Obito had your falling out, if you don't mind me asking?"

He rubbed his masked chin, reflecting. "Well... there's not much to say, really. I wanted to save my friends, but I didn't. I wanted to do the right thing, but it all went wrong. And now they're dead, and I'm not. That's about it." Sakura gave him a dubious look, wondering if her enigmatic teacher was just being mysterious on purpose or if there was more to it. "Anyway," he continued, "I really did mean that part about how you should try to figure these things out for yourself. Just look at how I fought Zabuza – you were able to figure out what I did back then, right?"

"You left us," she whispered. "I tried to convince myself that you were only trying to draw them away from us, but I knew…" She swallowed. "I knew what you did because I asked myself what I would do in your situation, and I thought that you could not hope to defeat Zabuza and Haku at the same time, not when you had so little chakra left. But, if one of them were to be preoccupied for some reason, then…" She stopped, unable to continue, staring hard at the leaf-littered ground.

Kakashi let out a long sigh. "I'm afraid I'm not a very good person, Sakura-chan. I can't really afford to be, in my line of work. After all the things I've done and everything I've been through, I consider any mission that does not end with a dead comrade to be a success. I did manage to protect some good people along the way, though... I'm hoping that counts for something. Perhaps one of them can do something about the state of the world for me. Who knows? It might even be you."

"Me?" Sakura wanted to laugh. "I didn't even do anything. All I did was to support Naruto and Sasuke-kun with some genjutsu and medical ninjutsu. And then, when Naruto fought all by himself against Haku in the snow and ice, I couldn't stop him from – I mean, I couldn't stop Haku from escaping…"

"You're being too hard on yourself," Kakashi said. "I don't know half of what happened out there, but as I understand it you stopped the team from falling apart while I was gone. During your first real mission, you fought off an army of bandits, aided in the defence of a village, saved Sasuke's life, helped defeat a powerful enemy with a bloodline limit and then saved Sasuke's life again. That's not half bad."

"I suppose," she said, frowning. "But, if both Haku and Zabuza survived, what's stopping them from trying again in the future? Will we always have to watch our backs now, knowing somebody could teleport into our room at any moment and kill us while we sleep?"

There was a moment of silence as Kakashi considered this. They looked to the top of the hillock, where two figures were finally starting to make their way back down, keeping as much distance between them as the size of the hill allowed.

"No," he said at last. "No… I don't think so. From what I understand, Haku at least was hurt severely, and his range for creating those portals seems to be fairly limited. More importantly, I have a sneaking suspicion that Zabuza will have others things on his mind for the near future..."

She asked him what he meant by that, but her sensei only smiled at her through his mask in reply, seeming to be quite pleased with himself for some reason.
​

-o-​

Using the reflection in his bedroom mirror as his guide, Gato tidied his whiskers with a fine comb, before wetting them and carefully shaping them into a narrow pointed moustache.

It would not make him look any more winsome to either his servants or his enemies, but he thought it important to keep up his personal grooming for the sake of his own sense of self-worth if nothing else. After all, if you did not even respect yourself, how could you ever expect others to take you seriously? That was why he dressed in black formal kimonos and took the time to make himself presentable every morning, even if the rest of the world would still see him as nothing more than a man of below-average height with a homely face and an unfortunate high-pitched voice.

There had been a time when his younger self would have looked at him now and been appalled. Even when he was a child his stature had made him the object of mockery, but back then he still held out hope that he would grow up to be a strong and powerful man. The stories his mother told him had all been about the mysterious ninjas that travelled the world and carried out missions in secret, and so his dream had been to become a ninja like no other.

He had worked tirelessly, taking up odd jobs and saving money until finally he was able to travel all the way to Konoha to sign up for the Ninja academy trials. Yet before he had set even one foot past those he was told that he did not meet their standards. Not one to be dissuaded easily, he had sought out a rogue ninja to train him, but it was to no avail: He had not the strength nor the talent to manipulate chakra. Instead he became a successful shipping magnate, gaining ever more wealth and power until at last he could afford to hire his own ninja and samurai to serve him. In the end, all his rejections and disappointments had taught him the true meaning of power and made him a stronger man for it – even if the rest of the world did not recognize the fact.

He noted with some irritation that one of the hairs in his moustache refused to stick with the rest, and kept jutting out at odd angles no matter how he combed or wetted it. He reached for the clippers on his nightstand, only to let it clatter to the floor when he saw a second figure in the mirror leaning against the wall behind him.

"Hello, master Gato."

He twisted around and stumbled back in fear despite himself, scattering the items on his basin with a panicked motion of his arm. "Z-Zabuza-san, I hadn't expected to see you so soon, after-"

"After you set me up to die, you mean?" The great hulk of a man pushed himself upright with his sword, allowing him to loom over Gato with his full height. The man's limbs as well as his mouth were covered in bandages now, but somehow this only served to make him look even more fearsome. "I thought it strange that you would pay so much to kill a mere civilian, but it wasn't until Kakashi pointed it out that I realized just how little your lives are worth compared to ours. You could have easily killed that bridge builder yourself, but you waited for him to come back with the White Fang in tow before arranging for us to fight each other." He advanced menacingly. "Tell me: Did you have some plan to recover my body after Kakashi killed me, or were you hoping we would kill each other and reap the bounties on us both?"

"No, Z-Zabuza-san, you misunderstand! I trusted in your legendary abilities, that's all. I-I never imagined you could actually lose to him!" Gato scrambled away from Zabuza along the wall as far as he could, but then he reached a corner and could go no further. He frantically searched around his luxurious bedroom for some sign of rescue, but there was none to be seen.

A throaty chuckle emanated from Zabuza's chest, low and full of malice. "Your guards are not going to come save you, master Gato. Even if they weren't dead, mere samurai would be useless against a true ninja. To think that I let someone like you order me around – I was going to kill you for that insult alone, but now I think I'll take some time to teach you how insignificant you really are." The bandages lining his mouth twitched dangerously. "Then again… perhaps I'll just carve up your body right now!"

He hefted his Executioner's Blade up high, and it was all Gato could do to raise his arms in a vain attempt to shield himself from his onrushing death.

Several seconds later, he was still not dead.

When he opened his eyes he saw that the blade had stopped mid-motion, while Zabuza's entire body was trembling under the strain of some invisible force. Gato wasted no time in scrambling behind his four-poster bed, ducking down low even as a series of explosions brought down the walls around him. When he peered over his shelter to look, he saw that Zabuza's shaking body was surrounded by a dozen silent and faceless figures: Men and women in grey uniforms with green haori's, wearing white masks with narrow eye slits – The Hidden Mist's hunter-ninja division of the Anbu.

As his panic slowly subsided, Gato rose and dusted himself off with as much dignity as he could muster.

"Finally! What took you so long? I don't know if you lot noticed, but that lunatic nearly cut me in half with that ridiculously oversized sword of his!" He gestured towards the torn and broken walls around him and the dust covering his fine carpet. "And did I ask you to destroy my bedroom while entering? No, I told you to operate the exceedingly simple mechanism that opens the hidden doors to this room. But, I suppose that was too complicated an order for you savages to understand."

While the rest of the circle maintained their techniques, the leader of the group slowly turned his head to face Gato, managing to make his contempt clear with a single glance despite his mask. "The Mist's Anbu are not your pet army, Gato. We do not take orders from you."

In reply, Gato gave him the most assured sneer he could manage. "No, but you take orders from the Mizukage, don't you? Yagura has been very happy with our little arrangement so far, and he'll be even more pleased after I give him the person who tried to usurp his rule twice. I'll have you know that he already doubts your loyalties, Ao of the Byakugan. We wouldn't want to give your master reason to think you've turned traitor as well, now would we?"

In fact, Yagura had exactly as much contempt for Gato as every other ninja he met, but he saw no reason to mention the fact. Instead he grinned as Ao stepped away to let him pass, and kept grinning as he walked up to Zabuza's paralysed form. A shame I couldn't get any more free service out of him: I had hoped Zabuza would kill the White Fang for me so I could reap his bounty too, but it was still good while it lasted.

He idly regarded his frozen and trembling captive, marveling at how helpless the ninja looked despite being so frightening mere moments ago. "Do you see now, Zabuza? True power has nothing to do with physical strength or mystical abilities; this is what you ninja could never understand! The only thing that matters in this world is the ability to devise plans and get other people to follow your orders. If you don't have that, you're nothing." He gave Zabuza a sharp kick in the ribs to drive home his point.

In response a wave of pure malevolence washed over Gato: Zabuza was surrounded by a purple shroud like an aura of raw power, and suddenly he was lunging for Gato with one hand outstretched only for watery whips to coil around the massive ninja and bind him to the ground. The hunter-ninja formed a series of hand-seals and in an instant the purple chakra shroud was gone. All of it had happened in less than a second.

"What the – what the blazes was that?"

"That… shouldn't have been possible," Ao said with a note of shock in his normally dispassionate voice. "We calculated the amounts of chakra involved; we could have held even six jōnin-ranked ninja with that combination of paralysis techniques."

"Not possible?" Gato rounded on him. "You imbecile, do I have to explain to you how redundancy works? Proper planning doesn't mean accounting for the worst circumstance you can imagine, it means making it so that the circumstances are entirely irrelevant to your plan's success! Otherwise you fail the moment your imagination is found lacking, which it clearly is! Now, do I need to report this flagrant display of incompetence to Yagura?"

The head of the hunter Anbu shook his head slightly. "No."

"No who?"

"…no, Gato-sama."

"Better." Gato straightened his black formal kimono, still shaking from the shock of having come so close to death in what should have been his moment of triumph. The worst thing was that Ao's display of submission had not been sincere in the slightest: Gato could force others to acknowledge him in public, even to fear him despite his size, but in the privacy of their own heads they were still free to mock him.

All of them… they all think they are so much better than me…

He strode up to his enemy's prone form once more, equipping himself with brass knuckles as he went. "You can't stand it, can you Zabuza?" He slammed the metal into Zabuza's side, and this time he was rewarded with the sharp sound of breaking ribs, though the paralysis techniques prevented the ninja from screaming out in pain. The next blow was aimed for the chin. "You can't handle the fact that I am–" there was a loud crack as the iron shattered Zabuza's jaw "–stronger than you!"

He landed blow after blow, laying into his foe until half the bones in the ninja's body were broken and all his bandages were soaked with fresh blood. It was exhausting work, but there was a certain satisfaction to it that no other worldly pleasure could replace. This was the only time he would ever be able to beat up a ninja as strong as Zabuza. This is what I have worked for all my life… this is what I have lived for!

"Enough." At last Ao stepped in to stop him, and Gato only reluctantly allowed Zabuza to be pulled away from him. "Yagura still wants him alive."

Gato cursed as he threw his brass knuckles to the ground, most of his rage brought on by the rush of adrenaline still unspent. "Don't think you're getting off easily, Zabuza: Yagura has ways of making you suffer I haven't even dreamt of. You'll pay for every single time you humiliated me!" He hurled some more curses after the rogue ninja as the Mist Anbu carried him to the door, but he halted when a crack appeared in the ceiling, and a section of the roof came crashing down with a thunderous noise.

Gato's vision was drowned by a pool of inky blackness, pure nothingness that appeared from out of nowhere and shrouded Zabuza and the Mist Anbu both. There was the sound of metal clashing upon metal amongst the din of falling masonry, and then a sudden explosion sent the hunter-ninjas scrambling backwards. For a moment Gato could just barely make out the silhouettes of Zabuza and a smaller newcomer within the shroud. Then Zabuza's arm made an impossibly swift and blurry movement, as though he were waving Gato goodbye, and with that he was gone – both he and the stranger had vanished, taking the unnatural darkness with them as if they had never been there at all.

Dust and pale light poured down from the broken ceiling, gathering on the carpet while the hunter-ninja stood there uselessly. Gato wanted to shout and curse at them, to call them worthless and order them to chase after Zabuza until the end of days, but something prevented him from speaking. Only when he looked down did he notice the metal object sticking out of his chest. As the ground rose up to meet him, he was acutely aware of the Mist ninjas' disdainful stares, the weight of their contempt pushing down on him as he fell.

In the end, he had not even been able to see the knife until it killed him.

How terribly unfair…​

 

[BurningSaiyan]

I have no words this chapter was pure fucking awesomeness. I LOVE what you did with Gato's character. And the Naruto and Sasuke interactions are awesome. I need MOAR.

 

[Sophronius]

Heheheh, cheers. I'm very glad the characterisations are well-received - one of the things that keeps me writing is that I absolutely love getting into the heads of these characters. I dunno, I guess it's because Naruto has so many characters with great potential that are just never really explored, and we haven't even gotten to the chunin exams arc yet.

Speaking of which, there will probably be a delay of one week as I get the next Act in order – it's always tricky to get everything to match up with the plot and make sure I don't contradict myself. I also want to finally take a stab at rewriting the first (few) chapter(s) to make them more in line with the rest of the story, especially in terms of characterisation. In the meantime, I'll probably put up a few Omake's / Crossover stories that I wrote some time ago so you guys won't get bored waiting for the next chapter.

 

[Sigil]

Wow, great chapter. Can't wait to see where you take it from here.

 

[RazorSmile]

Well, Gato himself admitted that he's gotten what he lived for. When you've gotten what you live for, you might as well die why not.
So Haku rescued Zabuza after all? Guess that means they'll be seeing Team 7 again.

 

[Sophronius]

So Haku rescued Zabuza after all? Guess that means they'll be seeing Team 7 again.

Click to shrink...

Strictly speaking, Haku has never been observed using that strange darkness technique before... unless of course he's the secret mastermind behind it all.

Btw, I finally got around to watching the movie referred to in your sig. I had some spare time so thought what the hey. Cool movie, though I gotta agree with Dan about seeing too many naked guys in dog collars.

 

[Sophronius]

A/N: Hey all. I'm still getting the next act in order. While you wait, please feel free to gorge yourself upon these truly magnificent Naruto crossovers I wrote. I gotta hand it to myself – I'm pretty sure these are better than the actual story I ended up writing.
​

-o-​

"Sakura, Sakura! Wake up!"

Sakura jolted wide awake as Naruto grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her violently. "Wh-what? Are we under attack?"

"No," said Naruto, visibly shaking. "I think we've been transported to another dimension where magic is real. Look!" He unclasped his hand, which glowed with a pale blue light, and looked pleadingly at her. "What's it all mean? Am I gonna have to go to secret wizard school and learn to control my hidden powers?"

Sakura fell back onto her bedroll and groaned. "Naruto, you've always been able to do that. You learned how to control chakra back at the academy, you just slept through all of the lessons, remember?"

"Oh, right," Naruto said sheepishly. "Guess I forgot."
​

-o-​

Meanwhile, in Hogwarts…

"Hermione, I think something's gone terribly wrong," Ron cried. "I can't use magic anymore – I think I musta been transported to an alternate reality where I'm some kinda sports star instead, because all of a sudden I'm super agile and stuff!"

Hermione buried her face into her book, desperately trying to block out the wailing face from her field of vision. "Ron, when have you ever solved your problems with magic? We usually drop our wands at the first sign of trouble while Harry runs around hitting things with a sword. And in all honestly, I've always suspected you of being a secret squib – I mean, you don't even read."

"Oh right," Ron said, dazedly. "I guess that explains why most of my memories involve me playing some kinda air football. So hey, I guess the Quidditch tryouts should be a breeze for me now, huh?"
​

-o-​

Back in the Naruto world…

"Sasuke! Sasuke, wake up! We've definitely gotten transported for real this time – I just got back from a magical adventure where me and my friends defeated a nightmarish villain using nothing but the power of friendship!"

Sasuke groaned into his pillow, not even bothering to look up. "Naruto, you've always been able to do that. I can count at least six cases where you turned a psychotic homicidal monster to your side just by talking to them while punching them in the face until they agreed with you."

"Oh right," Naruto said, dazedly. "I guess that's true. But this time, Sakura is literally out there in the meadows riding around on some kind of sparkly pony while going 'weeeeeeeee, I'm a unicorn princess!'"

"She probably just found the unicorn contract or something," Sasuke grunted. "I mean, she has pink hair, what did you expect?"
​

-o-​

"But that's impossible," cried the great and powerful Trixie, still fuming from her recent defeat. "What about the pony who played ten instruments at the same time? Nopony could do that!"

"Oh, that's just Pinky Pie," Twilight Sparkle said idly. "She's always been a ninja."​

-o-
​

Meanwhile, in a slightly more rational Hogwarts…

"Sso the way I ssee it Professsor, prophessiess three and four ssay that I will win no matter what I do, but there iss conflict with prophessiess one and two which ssays that I will have a choice. Alsso, father-of-boy-child-friend-guy sseemss to think I am other long dead evil persson, but iss probably not important. Can't be ssure though, becausse I don't have paper and pencil and never write any of the million plotss that go on in thiss sschool down."

Harry potter coolly gazed at the serpentine form of the defence professor, his emerald green eyes meeting the pale white eyes of the snake staring back at him. Older and wiser those eyes looked, ever since the enemy – whomever that foul fiend was – had conjured an influenza virus within the corridors of Hogwarts and killed every single person within the school who had not been raised by muggles and therefore missed vaccination. Curse that unidentified evil person! I have no choice, I will have to grow even darker and edgier to meet this new challenge! And then I'll bring everyone back with this edo-tensei spell the professor talked about.

There was a blur of motion as the white snake transformed into a pale man, with long black hair and yellow serpentine eyes. "You will figure it out in time, Harry potter, I'm sure of it." The defence professor snaked around the boy-who-lived and started to give him a friendly backrub. "So smart you are, so unlike the other boys your age..."

"I am lucky to have found a true friend like you, professor Orochimaru. The other teachers just don't understand me the way you do. You, at least, I can trust to be rational. All of my other so-called friends just talk random nonsense, like, 'Oh that guy Orochimaru, he turns into a snake, don't trust him Harry'."

Harry's musings were interrupted by a stirring that occurred somewhere beneath his clothes. "Uh, professor Orochimaru? Could you please remove your snake from my pants? It's somewhat disturbing."

"Ssssorry...."
​

-o-​

"Kakashi-sensei! Sensei, please wake up!"

Hatake Kakashi pretended to jolt awake when his student shook him, though of course he had been fully conscious and alert for intruders the entire time. "Whu- what? What is it, Sakura?"

"I think Naruto must be right after all – we've been transferred to another dimension! I just went outside to take a soothing walk at dusk, and suddenly there was this ghostly creature of the night, beautiful yet terrible in his aura of dark malevolence, gazing sullenly into the distance as he contemplated his dire affliction, the pale moonlight reflecting off his cool ivory skin and scattering radiant sparkles through the midnight gloom."

Kakashi regarded her calmly. "Do you mean Sasuke? He's always been a vampire."

"What?" Sakura blinked. "That can't be right, everybody knows that vampires have hypnotic crimson eyes and – okay, no wait, that part makes sense, but if he were a vampire he would be prone to violent emotional outbursts and an irrational hunger for blood, and his family would be involved in dark rituals to gain forbidden power while seeking ways to survive their own bodily deaths, and…" She slowly trailed off. "But then… if the Uchiha have red eyes because they are all vampires, how did you–"

Kakashi pulled off his mask to reveal the spot where his teammate Obito had bitten him.

"Gaaaaaaah!"
​

-o-​

"Bella?" The vampire gazed at her solemnly. "I think I just became even more perfect."

"That's great, Edward. Now shut up and do me already."
​

-o-
​

Shwooop…

"Oh crap guys, I think we got transported again," Naruto said, casting his gaze around wildly. "This time it looks like we're stuck in some kinda futuristic dystopia. I mean, look at those high-tech cathedrals, the dilapidated buildings… what a terrible and depressing way to live!"

Sasuke sighed. "Naruto, that's how the Uchiha universe has always looked. We have electricity, trains, and you even have a television in your apartment for Kami's sake. We're probably just somewhere in the Land of Rain."

Sakura gave him a skeptical look. "The Uchiha universe?"

"Hey, it fits, doesn't it?" Sasuke shrugged. "I mean, the universe clearly revolves around me and my clan, so…"

Naruto ignored them both. "Look at this newspaper. It's worse than I thought: There's war and famine everywhere, and the most blatantly evil politicians I've ever heard of are in charge of the world. We must have gotten transported into one of Jiraiya's dystopian fantasy novels – there's no way anyone would tolerate such a horrific state of affairs in anything approximating the real world."

"Be quiet," Sakura hissed. "Do you want Ibiki to disappear you like he did Mizuki? The Hyūga's eyes see everywhere, watching your every word and movement and especially the stuff you write on Ninjanet."

Naruto was about to reply, but right in that moment a frightened girl crashed into him. "Ow. Hey!"

"Get out of the way!" the girl said as she stumbled back onto her feet. She was wearing a grey outfit which looked like it was made of spider webbing, which would make her the owner of this world's spider summoning contract Naruto supposed. "Get out of here! The Slaughterhouse Nine are on their way."

"The who?" asked Sakura. "Huh. I guess we're in an alternate world after all; no self-respecting ninja would name their organization something that crass and uncivilized."

"Yeah," said Sasuke, "I guess it all just sounded so familiar, it totally threw me for a loop."

"Wait, hold on." Naruto hastily dusted himself off as he got his thoughts in order. "These slaughterhouse types – what're they like, exactly?"

"You don't know the Slaughterhouse Nine? They're a group of nine monstrous psychopaths, who go around killing people and destabilizing the world." She squinted at the group suspiciously. "How can you not know that? Are you even real capes? I mean, you certainly dress campily enough, but…"

"Nine monstrous villains?" Naruto's eyes widened. "Akatsuki!" He slammed his fist into his palm and cursed. "There must be an alternate version of them in this world as well: We've got to protect these poor innocent civilians – they'll be totally helpless at the hands of those ruthless rogue ninjas."

"What? No, listen," said the girl. "They're not called Akatsuki, unless that's the Japanese name for them or something. I'm talking about the worst villains you can possibly imagine: They have this genius scientist who transformed himself into a living puppet–"

"Sasori of the Red Sand," Sakura breathed. "They say his unliving armies grow daily."

"–and then there's this medical genius who specializes in body horrors, experimenting on the innocent and creating ever new abominations to unleash upon the world–"

"Orochimaru of the Sannin," Naruto intoned grimly. "So he's a member, after all."

"–and I don't really know what secret powers their leader has, but he always guides the group from the shadows, manipulating everyone and twisting them to his own purposes, turning friends into foes and cutting entire families apart with a single word or sweep of his blade."

Sasuke froze on the spot, the sunlight sparkling forebodingly off his ivory skin. "That man!"

"So it's true, then," said Sakura. "Naruto, you were right all along – I'm sorry for ever doubting you."

The foreign girl was about to protest, but right in that moment the entire city was swallowed by a tidal wave as a giant monstrous fish-creature roared its challenge from atop of a rising Tsunami.

"You must flee," the mysterious girl spluttered as she was dragged under by the waves. "It's Leviathan, the Endbringer – the doom of Tokyo. All hope is lost!"

"Kami damnit," Naruto growled as the surging waters swept him and his team away. "Kisame is so friggin' hax!"​

 

[Mister Spicy]

Reading this many shifts in a small time frame feels what I imagine having a stroke feels like.

5/7.

I like what you've done here.

 

[Sophronius]

Hey guys, one more filler and then we're back to a real chapter on sunday. This one is a rationalist parody of a story that's already considered rational around here... should be fun : p

Random Omake Nonsense, part 2

"Glad to see the stringbean plan worked out in the end," Tattletale said, addressing the ring of mercenaries who were now holding the other half hostage at gunpoint. "Those of you I haven't been in contact with, please hear me out. I'm paying twice what Calvert is for a year's salary, and I'm paying it all upfront. Look to the other team captains if you don't believe me. Fish, Minor, Richards, Meck, I've talked to them, and they've all agreed."

"What? Why the hell would we do that?" The other mercenaries all turned to regard the young-looking one who had spoken up. "We've been with Calvert for years now – he's always paid us on time, treated us with respect and never asked us to do anything unreasonable. Why'd we throw all that away to work with a bunch of crazy hormone-driven teenagers who just stabbed our boss in the back? We'd totally lose our reputation as a reliable mercenary outfit, and they'd probably just get us all killed on our first new mission!"

"Mickey's got a point," said another. "What about all the intangible benefits mister Calvert has been offering us? I'm not shooting anyone until I hear some details about our new dental plan."

"I didn't think of that," said Fish, lowering the gun which he had been pointing at his colleague. "Holy crap, I was almost going to shoot you guys in the back over a simple pay raise. Dude, I'm like, so sorry!"

"Hey, don't sweat it," his partner replied. "We all know how crazy life can get in this merry outfit of ours. I mean, it's not like any of us would've signed up to battle giant mutants with alien space powers in the first place if we didn't take this sort of thing in stride." The man broke into a wide grin. "Which reminds me: You still up for that game tonight?"

"Hell yeah! Dude, I can't wait to open a few brewski's and really unload. Uh, figuratively, I mean."

Thomas Calvert relaxed into his usual posture, arms behind his back with a thin smile on his lips. He seemed to be returning to his Coil persona now, abandoning any pretense of heroism. "As you can see, Tattletale, my soldiers are not so easily bought. Did you really think that you and your friends could defeat me with some empty promises? Foolish." He turned to address the mercenaries. "Kill them."

"Wait," said Tattletale, "You can't pay them anymore. I've been skimming your finances, raiding your safe deposit boxes with my power and tricking you into wasting money every single step of the way. Your mercenaries have no choice but to side with us now. And Trickster?" She turned to face the group of ragtag villains who backed Coil up. "Everything Calvert said to you is a lie – he can't actually help you with your problem, he's just been stringing you and your team along for your powers."

"Interesting," said Coil, not looking in the least bit concerned by the handful of guns that were still hesitantly pointed in his direction. "So now that you've so kindly explained your masterplan to me, why shouldn't I use my power to collapse this timeline and kill all of you before you have any clue of what's going on?"

"You can't," said Grue, motioning in my direction. "You already used your power to try and kill Skitter earlier when you trapped her in that burning building, remember?"

Coil actually looked shocked, if such a thing was even possible. "You think I used my reality bending, timeline collapsing alien god-power of destiny to improve my aim with a handgun?" He stared at me in sheer disbelief. "Why do you even think I was fighting you in the first place? Did you honestly believe I would ever show up to finish you in person if there was any chance whatsoever of my plan going awry?"

I shifted uncomfortably, coughing painfully as the smoke from the burning buildings still seared my lungs. "I suppose that does sound incredibly stupid and out-of-character for someone like you."

"Damn straight it does," said Coil. "So now that we've established that all of reality is my bitch–" he hesitated, waving an apology to the butch girl besides me. "Meaning no offense to you, Missus Bitch–"

Bitch grunted in reply. "Hmph."

"–let's start this conversation in earnest. All of you have proven to be exceptionally resourceful agents in my employ, and I've done by best to grant you every possible convenience in return. What on earth possessed you to turn against me?"

"Are you friggin' kidding me?" I half rose, the pain in my ribs flaring as I moved. "You're the one that teleported me into a burning building and shot me in the chest! You clearly betrayed us first."

"Only in a strictly causal sense," said Coil. "I don't suppose you've read up on your timeless physics? No? More's the pity." He took on a lecturing tone. "You see, I tortured a member of the Undersiders for information in my other dimension, days ago. They revealed that you were plotting to turn on me if I refused to release Dinah. I cannot afford to release her, so my hand was forced."

"Wait," said Alec, "one of us was tortured? Who uh, who're we talking about here exactly?"

"You kidnapped a little girl and drugged her," I ground out to Coil. "There was no way we were just going to let that go, and you should've realized that. By involving us in that you forced our hand first."

"Really, are we just gonna ignore this whole torture thing?" Alec glanced in our direction. "It's just that, depending on whether this person was me I care either a middling amount or a whole lot about this."

"I also care if it's me who was tortured," Imp commiserated.

To be fair, it probably had been Imp, if only because nobody would have noticed she was gone due to her power. Or maybe it wouldn't be Imp because we would have failed to forget that she was there if she was gone because she would not actually have been there, and that fact would surely have tipped us off.

Coil was giving me an incredulous look. "Really? You're a spider-themed supervillain who calls herself the Warlord of Brockton Bay, and I was supposed to guess that you would draw the line at a simple kidnapping?"

"You used drugs on a kid," I bit back. "Drugs are, like, bad, okay?"

"You are a kid, and you fight others of your age all the time. You run around the city beating your fellow teenagers to a bloody pulp using a baton while blinding the local heroes with pepper spray. You even robbed a bank by planting black widows on every single civilian inside and threatening to poison them."

"Don't forget about that time when she a bit a dude's crotch off," Alec said. "Hey, do you think it was Bitch who got tortured? Because Grue seems way too stoic to blab and he could have just bribed me or Imp with a lollipop or something. And Skitter is, uh, Skitter. So that just leaves Tattletale and Bitch."

"Hmph," said Bitch, practically confessing her guilt.

"Speaking of Regent," Coil said, gesturing at Alec, "you have a sociopath in your team who casually uses his mind-control powers to rape people. How can you possibly claim the moral high ground in this debate? Even I have never done anything that horrific, or at least not in this particular time-stream."

"It's called body-control," Alec protested. "And I haven't done any of that stuff in like, a week."

"Yeah," I said, backing up my team mate. "He's changed! He's not like that anymore, right Regent?"

"I'm actually totally unrepentant," he said, idly controlling Imp's arm to slap Grue in the face. Grue spun on the spot, a cross-eyed expression on his face as he tried to figure out what had just hit him.

This again called into question why exactly Imp had allowed Alec to learn to control her in the first place.

Coil glowered in our direction. "The point is, you are all horrible little monsters, so you might as well work with me and become professional monsters. And yes, I get that every villain has a code – I'm used to that. But if you really care so much about that girl, why not just settle on more pleasant living conditions for her in exchange for your services? I could arrange hospital care for her, have her cured of her addiction and let you persuade her to willingly use her powers for me instead. I could even arrange for her parents to be teleported to her during regular visiting hours, assuming I can talk some sense into them."

"Huh," said Tattletale, "that actually sounds totally reason–"

"We'll never agree to your vile plan!" I shouted. "We'd rather die a pointless death than allow some random girl I don't even know to be temporarily inconvenienced!"

"Seriously," said Grue. "Why did she become a supervillain, again?"

Imp smirked. "You mean besides the obvious insanity and paranoia?"

"Hmph," said Bitch, betraying me by agreeing with them both.

"It's unfortunate that you cannot be made to see reason," said Coil. "However, I must remind you that I hold all the cards here: If I collapse this universe, everyone and everything within it will cease to be, and in the real world I will be able to kill you effortlessly with the information I have now acquired."

"Actually, how does that work?" asked Grue. "Your power creates an entire parallel universe?"

"It's really precognition," Tattletale said off-handedly. "He only thinks he creates other universes, but in reality he uses his shard to simulate two concurrent time-streams, until he decides which one he prefers at which point that one will turn out to have been the real one all along. Retroactively. Because, uh, powers."

Coil sighed. "Tattletale, I've explained this to you many times before." He paused. "Well, that might have been in an alternate universe which is no longer real and which you cannot possibly remember, but still, it's the principle of the thing. The point is that any sufficiently advanced simulation would necessitate consciousness, for else it would be insufficiently accurate. So really, there's no meaningful difference."

"Wait," said Grue. "If that's true, aren't you effectively destroying an entire universe every time you use your power, effectively murdering everyone within, making you the most evil person that ever lived?"

Coil shrugged. "Like I said; I've never done anything as horrific as you have in this universe."

"Screw it," said Imp, using her power to appear behind Coil and stabbing him in the back with a knife.

We all stared at Coil as he gurgled and twitched for a few moments, his blood rapidly spreading out over the pavement. The mercenaries slowly lowered their guns as they realized they were not going to be paid, or possibly because their entire meaningless existence was about to be erased from history. Either way.

"Ahhhh!" cried Alec, throwing up his hands. "We're all going to disappear! Our lives are barren of purpose or meaning; we are all cogs in a cruel and uncaring machine and we're bound to return to the empty pit from whence we came! Quick, Imp: Get naked and let's get busy before it's too late."

"Nobody's getting naked," growled Grue. "Regent, if you get anywhere near my sister I will kill you myself – uh, wherever she is. I mean, assuming I have a sister." He blinked. "Wait, what were we talking about, again?"

Tattletale stared at Coil's body, which had by now stopped twitching. "The universe doesn't appear to be disappearing," she observed.

"Huh," said Imp, suddenly standing next to me. "Was that a thing that was supposed to happen? I kinda stopped paying attention after a while." She turned to Regent, who was by now sans pants. "I guess we might as well celebrate now that I've heroically saved the day."

"Hmph," said Bitch, positively reveling in her newfound state of moral nihilism. Her growing insanity unnerved me, and my hand slowly moved towards my gun in anticipation of her inevitable betrayal.

Tattletale slowly chewed her lower lip. "I suppose that in a universe with infinite branches where every possible reality is real, there isn't any particular reason why our stream of consciousness would be interrupted just because the person simulating us is dead."

"So, quantum immortality," I said. "That's pretty cool. I guess we don't have to worry about anything other than satisfying our own immediate personal desires from now on, other than the inevitability of eventually reaching a state of infinite eternal torture of course."

"A universe explicitly geared towards pure hedonism," Alec crowed. "I was right all along!"

"Shhh," said Imp, appearing in front of him. "Focus on what you're doing."

"I'm doing what now?" Alec looked down. "Hey, where am I, who am I, and where the hell are my pants?"

Imp sighed. "Every. Damned. Time."​

 

[Sophronius]

A/N: Hmm, it seems that my filler is less popular than the actual story. In a way that's reassuring: I would've hated for crack that takes a day to write to be preferred over the stuff that requires actual work. And really, this wouldn't be a proper Naruto story without some pointless filler that people skip past to get to the good stuff.


Chapter 21

"Naruto, hold the corridor," Sakura ordered. "Cover our backs while we advance. Sasuke-kun, try to scout ahead, see if you can locate the enemy with your Sharingan before they notice us."

While Sasuke grunted his assent, Naruto closed his eyes and focussed. In his mind's eye, the dimly-lit corridor stretched out before him, the dusty stones and cobwebs revealing no sign of recent passage. If the enemy had come through here, they had hidden their steps well.

"Movement!" Adrenaline flooded Naruto's system as the fourth member of their group cried out. "Above you, hidden in the shadows of the rafters, there's a shadow passing over you."

"I'll use my Shadow Clones," Naruto said hurriedly. "I can-"

"Too late!" The girl leaned forward eagerly, and the dice rolled over the table with a terrible, ominous clatter. "The Mujina flashes through a technique that sends tendrils of lightning at Sasuke's exposed back, flashes of light arcing through the narrow corridor with no hope of escape. Sasuke's body convulses and bends in impossible shapes, his clothes on fire as he dies a terrible, agonizing death."

Sakura sat back on her bench and groaned, sunlight framing her face in stark contrast to the shadows he imagined earlier. "Darn it, Naruto, I told you to watch the exit! What's the point of having those giant chakra reserves and forbidden techniques if you're just going to close your eyes at a critical moment?"

"I was just getting in character," Naruto protested. "The whole point of this game is to make everything feel as realistic as possible. I wasn't actually supposed to be closing them."

"Your behaviour in the real world reflects your actions within the simulation," Naruko reminded them with an unnervingly gleeful grin. "There wouldn't be any point to this exercise if you didn't genuinely feel terrified to blink. Speaking of which, while you're busy cursing the heavens for the gross injustice of the world, the Mujina rips out your spines and you both die terrible, agonizing deaths."

Sasuke's brow twitched dangerously, perhaps finding that Naruto's illusion-clad clone took just a little too much pleasure in describing their untimely demise. "I should've been able to dodge that attack without any effort," he said. "There's no way I'd ever be that careless on a real mission."

"You don't get to defend against attacks you can't see," Naruko reminded him. "Anyway, upon death you find that the afterlife is real after all: The king of the Shinigami appears before you and kills you so hard that you come back to life, trapping your spirit inside your rotten corpse so that you experience a continuous, agonizing death for the rest of eternity. You are unable to scream."

"I should have been able to resist it, then," said Sasuke, ignoring her. "You didn't take into account the superior strength of my clan's chakra. I could have easily overcome the technique with that."

Naruto groaned. "Sasuke, for the last time, there's no such thing as chakra-strength. We tested it with every available academy technique, and I just have more chakra than you do – that's it. If you have some kind of ability that we don't know about, feel free to show it to us so we can add it to the list."

"You can't expect Sasuke-kun to reveal all of his clan's abilities just because we're on his team," Sakura chided. "Rule forty-nine: The sum of a shinobi's secrets is the measure of his life – when he runs out, he is sure to perish." She turned to face Sasuke with a more gentle expression. "If you could just give us some indication of how your chakra is different from ours, I'm sure we can find a way to better account for it in the future."

"It isn't really any different," Sasuke mumbled. "Just, you know. Better."

Naruto was about to deliver a scathing retort to this when a sudden displacement of air from behind his bench alerted him to his teacher's arrival. "Sorry I'm late, kids. I was just…" Kakashi's eyes slowly drifted over to Naruko, whose blue eyes gave him a look of purest innocent in reply. "Do I even want to know?"

"We were just trying to run a combat simulation, to improve our chances of surviving any dangerous missions in the future," Naruto said, shuffling awkwardly on his seat. "It doesn't really work without a fourth person to run things." At that moment Naruko dispelled herself in a cowardly bid to force him to explain what had ultimately been her own idea, and wow did regaining those memories result in a confusing moment for him there. He looked down for a second to reassure himself that nothing was missing.

"Anyway," said Sakura, "we're very glad you're here, Kakashi-sensei. Do you have a new mission for us?"

"Not quite," said Kakashi. "I just wanted to let you know that I am impressed with your performance so far and have judged the three of you ready to advance in rank. As such I have signed you up for the coming chūnin exams, with one month left to prepare."

This announcement was met with a wall of silence as the team digested his words.

"The chūnin exams?" Sakura choked out. "But, those are incredibly dangerous! I mean, the tests change each time so you never know what to expect, but there's almost always a lethal element involved. People die in those exams, and even when they don't they come back different. We've still only experienced one real combat mission – there's just no way we're ready for something like that!"

"Now, now," said Kakashi. "That one mission may not seem like much to you, but you have to remember that we're living in a time of peace – tenuous though it may be. Even having been on just one dangerous A-rank mission gives you far more combat experience than any of your classmates, I promise you that."

A mission we failed, Naruto thought glumly. If their track record compared favourably to that of his classmates, he had to wonder how many people had died on their missions. Had Ino and Shikamaru perhaps unleashed a daemon that laid waste to a whole country, in addition to murdering their client?

(He supposed that he had at least not broken his promise by releasing the Kyūbi back then, for all that it might have been the wrong decision. It still felt unreal, how close he had come to losing everything.)

Sakura looked about to protest, but Sasuke spoke up first. "What our teacher is neglecting to point out is that this year's chūnin exams are held right here in Konoha instead of in allied lands, giving us a homeland advantage: Not only will we have a higher chance to pass, but the Anbu will be looking out for our safety and stand ready to intervene if necessary – meaning that participating in the exams now is a much safer way to gain combat experience than continuing the way we have until the next Land of Waves Mission comes along to kill us all." He looked up sharply. "Isn't that right, Kakashi?"

Their teacher nodded approvingly, but Sakura's expression only grew in frustrated incredulity. "I cannot believe this! That is the exact same argument you used last time, to convince us to continue the Land of Waves mission despite the danger involved. That whole disaster would never have happened in the first place if you had just listened to me when I said it was a terrible idea."

"Hold on," said Naruto, who felt the need to interject before this got out of hand. "Sakura-chan, you can't say that his argument is wrong just because the outcome happened to be bad. Nobody could have predicted that one of the Seven Swordsmen was gonna come after us, and it's totally unreasonable to blame that on Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei." He paused, realizing what he had just been made to say out loud. Still, it had been unreasonable of him to blame everything on Sasuke back then – he even had admitted as much to himself once he had calmed down a little. He hesitated, unsure of how to continue. "Sakura-chan, if you really think Sasuke is wrong, you can just explain why and I promise we'll listen."

But Sakura offered only seething silence in response, and there was a moment of uncomfortable quiet wherein Kakashi gave the three of them a quizzical look. "Well," he said at last, "I'll give you kids some time to argue things out amongst yourselves. But whatever you decide, make sure it's unanimous: Only teams of three can sign up for the exams, and I'm guessing none of you would want to suddenly change teams. Anyway, good luck with it." There was a flicker in the air as he vanished without a sound.

Sasuke glared into the space where their teacher had been. "…useless bastard."

Naruto extended a worried look to Sakura, who still wore an expression of barely-restrained fury. He had seen her like this a few times before, but only ever when it was he who said something stupid – never when it came to Sasuke or Kakashi. That just did not happen.

He spoke to her softly, ever so carefully. "Sakura-chan…"

"Forget it," she said brusquely. "It doesn't matter. I'll go along with the stupid plan. I mean, I already know it's going to happen no matter what I say – You'd just come up with these really logical-sounding arguments, and I wouldn't be able to think of anything in reply because you're better at this than I am. I might as well skip the argument and cut straight to the conclusion." Naruto was still trying to figure out which one of them she was talking to when she brusquely gathered up her gear and stormed off in the direction of her home. He stared after her, wordlessly.

"That went well," Sasuke said dryly. "It's a good thing you were there to calm her down, or she might have gotten upset."

Naruto glared at him. "It's not like you were helping any." He paused. "Do you think she's right, though? I mean… participating in a giant death tournament does kinda sound like a really dumb idea."

Sasuke shrugged. "Kakashi is a useless bastard, but he's not an idiot, and he's made it pretty clear he doesn't want us to die. If it were really that dangerous, he wouldn't have signed us up in the first place. Common sense says that we should just listen to him instead of trying to be clever about it." He started collecting his gear, pausing as he picked up one of Sakura's kunai before tossing it in Naruto's direction. "Look, I'll participate either way for the sake of gaining experience, but if you or Sakura don't feel ready to join me just yet, that's fine – I'll figure something out. You don't need to worry about me." Having spoken those words, he calmly stood up and walked away, never so much as glancing backwards.

Naruto stared after him, only belatedly finding his voice. "I'm not – nobody's gonna worry about you! Who cares what you think, anyway? You're a massive jerk." After a while he picked up his and Sakura's equipment, and walked back towards his apartment, feeling vaguely like he'd been had.
​

-o-​

Sakura was sitting on her bed fuming silently, knees clutched tightly to her chest in her pink and far-too-girlish room, until at last her anger and dread subsided enough to allow for something approximating rational thought.

We're all going to die at this rate.

Her brain kept repeating the same familiar patterns, over and over: When she closed her eyes she was back in that civilian house – a quiet beacon in the middle of a storm of ice and fire, filled with the bodies of the dead and dying. Sometimes she was throwing shuriken at an endless row of bandits and drunks, each of them tumbling over with small and pitiful gasps of pain. Sometimes they wore the faces of Konoha villagers, or even her own classmates. It hurt to see them fall every time, but it never bothered her as much as she thought it should, and that was what bothered her most of all.

We can't continue like this. We'll just end up taking more and more risks until everything goes wrong again, only there won't be any miracles to save us this time.

A small part of her mind, which she might have called the voice of common sense but which sounded suspiciously like her mother, insisted that she should just quit her career as a ninja and find a safer way to spend her time. Like selling flowers, or making dresses. But though she could not have explained why – whether it was the idea of giving up or the prospect of having to work for her own classmates – it became more and more of an impossibility to heed that voice each time it spoke. At last her inner self threw up its conceptual hands in frustration, and declared that if she was not going to listen to anything else it said, she could at the very least act like a sensible person by talking about it to someone.

And so it was that she found herself on the doorstep to the apartment of the only person she knew who might be considered a reasonable adult – certainly not her parents, who could barely understand a word she said. Kakashi called for her to enter before she could even knock on the door, and she pushed it open effortlessly, its defences evidently having been disarmed.

"How did you manage to find me?" Her teacher was sitting on the window still of his first-floor apartment, his one visible eye fixated on the (probably perverted) book in his hand. Having the window open in this warm weather was sensible enough, but dangling one leg out over each side was decidedly peculiar, and gave her the distinct impression that he was ready to jump either in or out of the building at the first sign of threat. He did not sound remotely surprised to find her here, but then he never really displayed any strong emotion, so she supposed that did not really tell her anything.

"Your address was in your public file," Sakura said distractedly. She was struck by just how small his apartment was: Most of the bare wooden floor was taken up by a single bed, as well as a nightstand on which stood a faded image of a young genin team and a man who could only be the Fourth Hokage himself, Namikaze Minato. On the floor there was a small potted plant labelled 'Mr. Ukki', which caused her to do a double-take. Aside from that there was a simple desk, a bookshelf filled with scrolls and (probably perverted) books, a few calligraphy scrolls along the walls and not much of anything else.

She cleared her throat. "Kakashi-sensei, I was hoping to you could help me with something. As you know, I don't think that entering the chūnin exams is a good idea, but I can't seem to convince the others of my point of view. Do you have any advice for how I could get my teammates to take my concerns more seriously?"

"Hm?" It was so fast that Sakura might have imagined it, but his eye seemed to dart to the bustling streets and rooftops of Konoha, instantly taking in his surroundings before flickering back to her and to the only door of the otherwise windowless room. "Oh, that's easy: You're too predictable."

She blinked. Sakura had specifically posed the question in such a way as to prevent her sensei from waving her off with a pat on the head – had definitely not made a sad face and asked in a wistful tone why nobody ever took her seriously – but of all the replies she had imagined Kakashi would give, this was definitely not one of them. "Too predictable? How do you mean?"

Her teacher raised his index finger, and took on a lecturing tone. "You can think of it like a mission: For any conversation, and especially where ninjas are involved, the goal is to get the other person to like you and prevent them from thinking ill of you. Even during a casual chat, those concerns are always there in the back of your mind, taking up your thoughts and limiting what you might say. And just like in a mission, if a person is always going to help or hinder you regardless of what you do, then you might as well remove them from the equation so you can focus your attention on other things. If you allow yourself to be taken for granted, then you can easily end up fading into the background of other people's lives." He gave her an uncomfortably piercing look. "Or, to explain it in a different way: What do you think is the reason you treat Naruto the way you do?"

She stiffened. "What do you mean? I don't treat Naruto in any particular way, and in any case he doesn't fade into the background at all. He's loud and obnoxious, he interrupts people constantly and he never takes the time to think before he speaks."

The piercing look intensified. "And do you think he's doing any of that on purpose?"

"Well, no. But he's just so, so immature!" She struggled for the right words to explain herself, even as her pent-up feelings came pouring out all at once. "He just says whatever is on his mind, and he doesn't take my feelings into account at all. It's like nobody ever taught him how to behave himself properly." Which, considering that he was raised by one of the legendary Sannin, she found especially shameful.

Kakashi scratched his masked chin. "So in other words, he doesn't have your strengths and in your eyes that makes him weak – beneath your notice. You know you could never get away with insulting Sasuke because of who he is and how he makes you feel, but Naruto has no other friends and so he holds no power over you, allowing you to safely take all of your frustrations out on him. Is that about right?"

She stared at her teacher in shock. She could not understand how her teacher could even think that about her. "You're wrong," she said. "That's not what I think at all! I just feel like he could try a little harder to be polite to those around him, that's all. Anyway, you're changing the topic: This isn't about me and Naruto."

"Oh?" said Kakashi amusedly. "Who is this about then?"

"Obviously it's –" She flushed scarlet. "I mean, it's just obvious that Sasuke is the one who really gets to make all these decisions, as Naruto just agrees with whatever he says because he looks up to him so much, and Sasuke doesn't take me seriously at all…" She trailed off as a horrifying thought occurred to her. "Wait, are you telling me that what you said before is how Sasuke really thinks about me?"

Kakashi shrugged. "Well… maybe not so much anymore, at least not where you or Naruto are concerned. But in general terms, yes: I promise you that that is precisely how he thinks."

She stared at him dumbly, unsure what to say to that. A part of her wanted to ask how Kakashi could possibly know that, but she suspected she already knew what he would say: Because I was just like him once, ever so long ago…

"Then, what should I do?" she asked instead. She pulled a stool from underneath his desk and sat down heavily. "Kakashi-sensei… what am I supposed to do with my life?"

At last he turned around to face her, pulling his leg away from the window still and sitting down on the bed opposite her. He smiled, and though his mask hid his face she could see the crinkle in his eye. "What an interesting question," he said. "I'm very flattered you came all the way over here just to ask me that."
​

-o-​

Far away and to the east of Konoha there lay a vast island, surrounded by a ring of smaller islets like a mother goose and her goslings. Deep in the heart of the largest island one could find a deep valley, surrounded by mountains and forests and covered in a perpetual mist, and in the midst of that valley sat a Village known as Kirigakure – though these days it was more commonly referred to as the Bloody Mist.

In truth that place more closely resembled a fortress than a village: Tall, unyielding ramparts exposed an invading force to attack from every angle, and if an attacker did manage to scale those walls then the stone fortifications within would prove just as unforgiving. Attempting an invasion of such a place would be madness – yet for all that it was mad, the fortress was still being invaded.

"They are in the courtyard! I repeat: The invaders have entered the courtyard!"

In the centre of the Village stood Kirigakure's observatory, a round stone building perfectly placed to oversee the entire city. Within this building there was a circular chamber, wherein sat a middle-aged man. A veteran from the Third Great Ninja World War, Ao wore the standard Hunter-ninja garb, though upon being assigned his new position he had done away with the white mask and armour. 'Assigned' was definitely the word he remembered being used, and certainly not 'promoted'. Still, after the debacle with Gato and his failure to capture Zabuza, Ao was grateful to be given another chance to prove his worth. It meant that his loyalty at least was not in question, though he supposed the fact that he was still breathing was proof enough of that.

The previous captain of the sensor division had not been so fortunate, if rumours were to be believed.

A single drop of sweat trickled down Ao's brow and struck the stone tiles upon which he kneeled, an echoing sound that went unanswered by the five other sensors as they focussed their efforts on the massive orb of water that hovered in the centre of the room. A steady flow of chakra flowed from their outstretched palms into the sphere, slowly numbing Ao's hands and body, but he barely it noticed anymore.

He focussed his thoughts on the sphere, and the continuously updated map of the Village it provided: The information they gathered with their individual sensing techniques was gathered and combined into the Orb, on which the Village's ninja were represented by expanding and contracting ripples. The greater the ninja's chakra reserves, the larger the ripples they cast, which seemed to Ao almost poetic. Right then, a dozen large ripples that did not belong to anyone he knew disappeared from the orb, and reappeared elsewhere a moment later.

"They are inside the armoury! I repeat: The enemy is inside the armoury!"

For the fact of the matter was that great stone walls might seem impressive to civilians, and they could certainly withstand assault from any number of samurai or brigands, but a small force of skilled ninja could easily scale those walls under cover of darkness. Scale them, or as seemed to be the case here, teleport right past.

How? How are they doing this? Ao's eyes were shut tight as he desperately tried to keep track of the rapidly shifting enemy forces with his sensing technique. His implanted Byakugan could see in every direction, make out small details at great distances and even pierce through walls, yet when he directed his gaze at the enemy he saw only darkness. A pall of night surrounded the infiltrators, shrouding them like a cloak of shadows as they struck one location after another with unstoppable force. As far as he could tell, not one of the attackers had fallen so far, while the same could not be said of their own troops. The enemy left a trail of explosive tags as they went, so that when they teleported away only death and devastation was left behind. Worse still, they seemed to have allies within the Village itself – bloodline bearers and sympathizers that attacked their own allies at the worst possible time and made any orderly defence impossible. Ao silently resolved to beg the Mizukage's permission to hunt the traitorous curs down himself once they had repelled the enemy, be it with or without his white mask.

The one upside that Ao had figured out, the one reason they were able to muster any defence at all, was the fact that the enemy was seemingly unable to teleport into a place they had not already visited. Ao had only once seen such a powerful teleportation technique before, and that had been far away in a distant land, and in a different era. The Fourth Hokage Namikaze Minato's Flying Thunder God technique… Could it be? Are we fighting Konoha once more? The descriptions given in the scattered reports they had received did not match the ninjas of Konoha, but that could just be deception at work. They were ninjas, after all, and in a world of ninjas you could never trust anyone. Ao had learned that lesson from his own graduation ceremony, during the practice that had earned the Village the moniker of Bloody Mist: His best friend had tried to kill him then, but fortunately for Ao, his best friend had failed.

Another set of ripples disappeared from the Orb, and Ao realized that the armoury had been lost. His stolen Byakugan only showed colourless outlines, but even so it was all too easy to fill in the details of the massacre that had taken place there. He focussed his efforts on sending another telepathic message to the rest of the village. His native chakra sensing and transmitting abilities were not nearly as good as those of Konoha's Yamanaka clan, but it was all they had and so it would simply have to do.

"The armoury has fallen. I repeat: The armoury has fallen."

Ao's brow narrowed in confusion. Though the invaders had clearly disappeared from the armoury, he could not seem to determine their new location. His Byakugan allowed for incredible range and precision, but he could not observe the entire Village at once: He had to focus on one segment of the Village at a time, scanning the locations in order of strategic importance. At last his eyes opened wide as he realized just where the invaders were attacking next. The door to the observatory blasted open, pure darkness pooling into the room and shrouding the enemy as they fell upon the sensing team like living shadows.

"They're here! The enemy is–" An invisible blade cleaved into Ao before he could react, and even as the words died on his lips he realized he had forgotten to relay the message telepathically. There would be no help coming for his team.

The Village Hidden in the Mist was under attack.​

 

[BurningSaiyan]

Yay, it's back!

 

[Sophronius]

Chapter 22

Inside the fortress known as the Village Hidden in the Mist there was an inner sanctum, and within that sanctum stood a throne of cold stone. On that seat of power sat a man called Yagura, whose appearance might be confused for that of a young boy. In truth he was the Eternal Mizukage, whose body had not aged since he had become host to the fearsome three-tailed leviathan of the sea. He had discarded his conical Mizukage headdress onto the ground before him, revealing a mop of uneven hazel-brown hair and a scar running down his left eye. In place of his official white robes of office he wore his own grey shirt over a suit of mesh-armour, as well as a moss-green wrap around his shoulders with a matching apron. Across his lap lay a dark wooden staff with vicious hooks on either end, a green flower dangling from the top to add just a touch of elegance to the weapon. If his appearance did not match what was expected of a Mizukage, then this was only a testament to his vast power: "I do not need to play by your rules, not while I have one of the nine great daemons under my control," that is what those clothes said.

To Yagura's right stood his close advisor and second in command, Terumī Mei. Her twin bloodline abilities made her one of the most powerful ninja in the Mist, as well as making her essential in keeping what remained of the Land of Water's 'noble' bloodline clans under control. A tall, slender woman in her thirties, she was clearly not above using her beauty as a weapon: Her roughly styled long auburn hair might be deemed exotic, and her green eyes certainly had a seductive quality to them, but though her long blue dress was revealing it only revealed a suit of armour underneath. If no obvious weapons were visible, then that was only because her body itself was an instrument of death.

The third person in the room was a boy by the name of Chōjūrō, whose awkward posture and ill-fitting grey outfit made him look almost younger than the Mizukage himself, despite being in his late teens. The leather holster on his back normally carried the great sword Hiramekarei, which resembled a flounder fish in shape and which he now clutched in his trembling fists by its twin handles. If the sword had not been proof enough, the fact that he had his teeth filed into points clearly identified him as one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist, who were intended to serve as Yagura's bodyguard.

The three ninja waited there in silence, kept company in their vigil by the muted sounds of violence coming through the thick iron door. There were muffled screams and panicked shouts, explosions which caused the very stone they stood on to rumble, and scattered reports of teleporting men in black cloaks that raised more questions than they answered. Ao had not given them telepathic updates for a while now, which meant that he had most likely been slain by the attackers – unless of course he was one of the traitors after all. Yagura silently resolved to either avenge him or execute him, depending.

"We should assist our shinobi in battle," Mei said once more. "If we join up with the Anbu and add our combined strength to the defensive forces, we can-"

"No, Mei." Yagura sighed wearily. For being his closest advisor she could be so dense, sometimes. "We've been over this. A mere handful of invaders cannot hope to defeat our entire army, which means they are here to assassinate me. To fight them in person is to entirely miss the point of having a fortress and an army in the first place." He paused in his explanation as another explosion rocked the stone chamber, causing motes of dust to pour down from the ceiling. The enemy seemed to be coming closer now. "No, we'll let them wear themselves out fighting their way through our standing forces. Should they manage to break into this chamber, only then shall we fight the enemy ourselves."

Of course, this strategy would be even more effective if Yagura had more than two bodyguards to protect him, but the fact of the matter was that he simply could not trust anyone else not to betray him at a critical moment. He knew what sort of things people whispered about him behind his back, but it could hardly be called paranoia at this point, not when all his fears were validated by past experiences. What was even the point of having the world's seven greatest swordsmen as your bodyguard, when all they ever did was try to assassinate the very person they were supposed to protect?

He was shaken from his reverie by the clamour of steel striking steel, followed by a screeching sound that caused Mei to clasp her hands over her ears while Chōjūrō merely quavered on his trembling legs. Yagura's eyes narrowed as he regarded the gate: Something was cutting straight through the thick metal door from the other side. There was another scream of tortured metal, and this time a giant cleaver could be seen poking through the steel gate. A third and fourth blow followed, and finally a great chunk of metal was carved out and hurled onto the floor. A gust of cold wind followed in its wake, an icy chill that cut straight to the bone and covered the entire stone chamber in a pale white sheen.

Mei looked around the room in alarm, her composure visibly shaken as white flakes began drifting down from the ceiling above them. "Is that… snow? How is that even possible?"

"It's the ice-release bloodline ability," Yagura replied. "A pesky remnant of the Yuki clan which I had thought exterminated long ago." He brushed off some of the frost that had begun to cling to his green clothing with an irritated gesture, though his eyes never left the gate before him. "Unfortunately, it seems that I was entirely too optimistic in that regard."

"If it's any consolation, they almost were, and you would have succeeded entirely if not for me." Through the hole in the door stepped a tall, muscular man with short black hair. His thin eyebrows came together in a perpetual scowl, his brown eyes held a dangerous glint, and the bandages covering his skin suggested a lifetime of poorly-healed injuries. His voice was a low growl. "It's been a long time, Mizukage-sama. Too long, if you ask me."

Yagura rose up in his seat, his casual demeanour instantly forgotten. "Momochi Zabuza, I should have realized you were behind this insurgency. You and your little band of traitors… I seem to recall that I sent you fleeing with your tail tucked between your legs the last time you tried to usurp my rule. What makes you think this time will be any different?"

An androgynous teen stepped through the wounded gate, taking position next to Zabuza. Yagura decided to think of him as male, though it was hard to tell through the hunter-ninja garb and mask he wore. When the boy spoke it was with a gentle tone that defied what you would expect of a shinobi: "The reason this time is different is because master Zabuza does not fight alone. My name is Haku, and I am the needle that shall weave his dream into the fabric of reality." A cold wind wafted off of him as he spoke, and Yagura resolved then and there not to underestimate this child.

Zabuza inclined his head towards the androgynous child. "As you can see, I found some useful things along the road since last we met, and I've grown stronger because of it… unlike you, it seems." He turned his gaze to the teenager standing to the left of the Mizukage. "The Seven Swordsmen of the Mist were once the most feared formation in the entire world – a group of elite ninjas that could take on any opponent and expect to win. But now, all that remains is this one boy who is too scared to even hold his own sword? What a pathetic sight. It's almost enough to make me feel sorry for leaving you."

"I'm not scared," Chōjūrō loudly protested. "I am trembling with anticipation! As the last remaining member of the Seven Swordsmen, it falls to me to protect the Mizukage and defeat you, Zabuza-san!"

Yagura silenced the boy with an annoyed glance, then turned his attention back to Zabuza. "Did you have something worthwhile to discuss, or are you merely here to waste my time?"

"I just wanted to ask you something." Momochi Zabuza's mouth seemed to twitch beneath the bandages that covered his face. "During your reign, the Village came to be known across the world as the Bloody Mist for its practice of forcing academy students to kill their own comrades, in order to become what you call true ninja. Including myself and Hoshigaki Kisame, there are now more former members of the Seven Swordsmen opposing you than defending you as a result. There's also the six-tails daemon host Utakata, who left the Village and killed the hunter-ninja that you sent after him, not to mention that boy Suigetsu who defected a while earlier, and of course my Haku…" Zabuza was definitely smirking, now. "Do you ever wonder, Mizukage-sama, if perhaps your rule has been less than entirely free of flaws?"

"And I suppose you imagine you could do better?" Yagura crossed his arms and glared at the two traitors. "Are you too young to remember what it was like before I created peace and order in this land? Do you think you were better off when any clan head could declare themselves Kage and wage their own wars? Back when bloodthirsty savages such as the 'noble' Kaguya clan raped and murdered entire villages as they pleased, with no organised military force to stop their accursed bloodline abilities?"

Another set of footsteps could be heard as a third shape appeared in the opening of the gate, this one even more formidable than Zabuza: "I mostly remember that you instructed me to kill my own comrades rather than allow them to be captured, and I remember the way you commended me for killing my superior Suikazan Fuguki because he was selling information to the enemy. That's another Swordsman who betrayed you, incidentally." The figure stepped into the light, revealing a man with blue hair styled upright and blue-grey skin, with gill-like markings under his eyes lending him the distinct appearance of a shark. He wore a black cloak with the red cloud emblem of the mysterious mercenary organization known as Akatsuki, but his pointed teeth and the gigantic scaled sword slung over his shoulder all identified him as a former member of the Seven. There was a hungry undertone to his amused voice; a tremor that enforced the danger which radiated from every aspect of his being. "Ever since the first time I was forced to kill a comrade, I have known that this world is full of lies and deceit. Even so, now that I've returned here, I find myself wanting to kill someone from my own Village, one last time."

"Hoshigaki Kisame. It seems my enemies have found each other," Yagura said icily, gripping his staff until his knuckles went white. No, he had not been paranoid after all. "I will not let myself be lectured by common outlaws! You traitors are all the same: You dream of acquiring ever greater power, but you have no conception whatsoever of what to do with it. Like animals, it is simply your instinct to challenge whoever is in charge, and so it falls to me to maintain order by cutting you down." He stood up from his throne and advanced towards the enemy, his two bodyguards falling in lockstep beside him. "If either of you were to take over, the Village would descend into chaos and infighting on the instant. Only I am strong enough to rule!"

And with those words, the battle began.
​

-o-​

Zabuza gave the signal, and in response Haku turned and raised a vast barrier of ice over the damaged gate, while at the same time Zabuza created three water clones and sent them out to fight Yagura in close combat. On the other side of the room Terumī Mei leaped into the air and unleashed her Lava technique, a deadly torrent of molten rock spewing from her mouth at Zabuza and his two allies in a wide area. Just as agreed beforehand Kisame called forth a tidal wave to counter the fearsome attack, while Haku formed a dome of ice around the three of them for additional protection. The double-layered defence held against the devastating attack, but only just, and the air turned to steam even as a cascade of searing rocks collapsed all around them. Zabuza wasted no time in repurposing the vapour into his Hidden Mist technique, seeking to hide his original body from view by controlling the density of the fog.

Out of the mist the boy Chōjūrō came charging recklessly, his great sword in his hands and a battle cry on his lips as he headed straight for Zabuza. He was stopped short as Kisame interposed himself between them, blocking the unwieldy flounder-sword with his own Samehada in a clash of screeching metal. As he shoved the boy backwards with his massive strength, the blue-skinned man grinned voraciously. "Chōjūrō, was it? I like to test myself against my fellow Swordsmen, to see if they are worthy of being a member of the Seven. So, please show me what you can do!"

Terumī Mei rushed to intervene with panick on her face, but she was called back by Yagura. "Don't be a fool, Mei! Hoshigaki Kisame is their strongest warrior, while Chōjūrō is our weakest. Having them face off is to our advantage." He turned his attention to the teenager. "Chōjūrō, your mission is to delay the enemy for as long as possible, even at the cost of your life. Can you do this for me?"

The boy gripped his sword until his knuckles whitened, his arms trembling with exertion as Kisame's blade pushed down on his with inexorable force. "Yes sir! I will try not to disappoint!"

At that moment Zabuza's clones burst through the fog to attack Yagura, giant swords swinging at him from three different directions, but the Mizukage slipped underneath and between the massive cleavers as though they stood still. In the same movement he brought his hooked staff up and into the first clone's groin, causing Zabuza's clone to break down into its liquid base. Yagura's staff continued its arc unabated as the water from the dispelled clone trailed behind it like an afterimage, and when the staff stopped short the water blasted his next target in the chest and destroyed it. The third clone moved to attack him from behind, but the Mizukage simply hooked the bottom part of his staff behind the clone's ankle, tripping him up. In one smooth motion he brought the larger hook at the top down onto his opponent's skull and exploded the clone into another shower of water.

Zabuza twitched as the memories of being dismantled so easily caught up with him, the blow between his legs being especially ignominious, but he stuck with his strategy and summoned a new group of clones to fight his foe. He had known Yagura would not be easy to defeat, but even so it was difficult not to underestimate the tiny Mizukage with his high-pitched voice and his pointy stick. He glanced over his shoulder to where Haku faced off against Mei. It seemed both of them were hesitant to fight each other, which made for a nice change from his minion being the only soft-hearted one: Apparently the Tyrant of the Bloody Mist also had to deal with weak-hearted foolishness in his ranks. Who knew?

Mei was desperately trying to move past Haku, but was blocked at every turn as the boy kept teleporting in front of her using his ice-mirror technique. "Get out of my way," she cried. "I don't want to hurt you!"

"Please do not resent me," Haku said softly. "I will defeat anyone who stands against my master, no matter who it is or which methods I must use." With those words he stepped through one of his ice mirrors and reappeared behind her, throwing a volley of needles which she only narrowly avoided, before vanishing into his mirror once more. Mei was forced to use her lava-release to destroy the mirrors one by one, taking them down with carefully aimed globs of molten rock. The mist was making Haku's misdirection tactics even more effective than usual, Zabuza was pleased to note, and as long as those two kept each other busy it might make up for Kisame wasting his time duelling with that boy Chōjūrō.

No sooner did he think that or a massive burst of chakra appeared from out of the mist to strike Kisame, the radiant energy clearly visible even through the fog. The shark-man's feet skidded over the stone floor as he was shoved backwards, but his sword had parried the blow and soon the attack was absorbed into the weapon. Kisame laughed wildly, mocking his opponent. In response the teenager produced a massive chakra-hammer from his sword, striking the floor in front of Kisame and shattering the ground with a deafening explosion of sound and shrapnel. The shark-man disappeared in a storm of chakra, dust and broken rock.

Zabuza's attention was forced back to his own fight as a new wave of memories struck him. Yagura was still twirling and dancing around like a marionette, taking out a water-clone with each movement of his staff, long whips of water streaming from his weapon and lashing at anything within reach. Realizing that his chakra would run out before his opponent's at this rate, the original Zabuza formed the necessary seals to send a stream of pressurised water spiralling towards the Mizukage. In response, Yagura extended one arm and formed a reflective disc of water in front of him, which he tilted with the tip of his staff. When the attack struck the disk it continued at an angle, and collided with Haku in mid-air. Zabuza cursed silently as his minion was propelled across the room by his own technique.

At that moment Kisame burst out of the ground behind Yagura and aimed a savage blow at the back of his head with his great sword, but the Mizukage dodged the attack without so much as looking backwards. Not one to be discouraged, Kisame proceeded to expel a ludicrous amount of water from his mouth, creating a veritable tidal wave that threatened to sweep everyone in the sanctum away with it. All the ninja in the room leaped upwards and landed on the surface of the water that now filled the stone chamber. The waves that had been created were already starting to abate.

"Kisame, you fool," Yagura said. "We are all water ninja here; reshaping the battlefield gives you no advantage."

The shark-man grinned ferociously. "Is that so? Well, there's water ninja and then there's water ninja, as you're about to find out!" He bit his thumb and, placing his palms on the water's surface, summoned a dozen ravenous white sharks within the newly created lake. The sharks rushed forward with murderous intent, and Yagura and Mei both hastily executed a series of backward jumps to stay out of their reach. At the same time, the sound of rapid splashes behind Zabuza alerted him to the fact that Chōjūrō was about to attack his real body. He only narrowly dodged the deadly lance of chakra that shot from the flounder-sword, blinded as he was by his own mist. Before either of them could do anything else, a clone of Kisame appeared underneath Chōjūrō, and the boy gave a shriek as the water vanished beneath his feet and he was pulled under. The sharks were upon him in an instant and soon the water was stained red with blood.

"Chōjūrō!" Terumī Mei's voice was joined by the roar of a gigantic water dragon, which appeared from out of nowhere and dove into the water where the boy had fallen, crushing Kisame's clone instantly. When the serpent emerged again it had Chōjūrō's body clutched in its watery jaw, which it gently deposited onto the throne which still peeked out over the rising water's surface. The water dragon dissipated as Mei switched to her second bloodline ability and blew a vast cloud of acidic vapour from her mouth in Zabuza's direction. Fortunately Haku had come up with a counter for that as well, and Zabuza immediately used the body-flicker technique to move close to the Mizukage while Kisame simply dove underwater. He smirked at Mei's frustrated expression.

You can't prevent the mist from injuring your precious Mizukage as well this way… now you have no choice but to cancel your technique. As long as I have my Haku, all of your petty tricks are worthless!

Unfortunately Yagura was now able to attack his original body, and Zabuza found himself having to defend against a constant flurry of light but extremely rapid blows. With each movement of Yagura's staff coils of water sprung up from the surface and struck at Zabuza from every direction. Having access to all his chakra made his movements much more fluid, but even so he suffered several blows and nicks from the Mizukage's hooked staff. At the other side of the room Kisame suddenly leaped out of the water, his blue-grey skin covered in terrible burn wounds. Lifeless sharks floated upwards all across the lake, and the burning sensation from where the water lapped onto Zabuza's sandaled feet told him all he needed to know: She made the water itself acidic! So much for Kisame's battlefield advantage…

But Kisame was nothing if not persistent. He leaped at and pressured Mei with his Samehada, forcing her to rely on elemental techniques to stave him off, but that was not a battle she could hope to win: Every time he defended himself against an elemental technique his sword drained that much more of her chakra. You cannot outlast Kisame. He does not relent, he does not stop. He hounds you and eats away at your chakra until you can no longer run, and then he cuts apart your body for the fun of it. The look in Yagura's eyes showed that he knew it as well, and Zabuza permitted himself a wry smile. You're losing, Yagura… even if you defeat me you're still going to die here. Victory is so close now I can taste it!

Right then Haku appeared behind Yagura, bloodied but not defeated, and with a series of hand seals he turned the surface of the water into ice. There was a brief, sweet moment of panic in Yagura's eyes as he stumbled, and then ice spikes erupted from the frozen water and stabbed at him from a dozen directions. The tiny Mizukage somehow managed to twist in mid-air to avoid the worst of it, but it was too little and far too late: Bringing his executioner's blade down with both hands, Zabuza shattered his enemy's staff and drove the Mizukage's small body straight through the thin layer of ice and down into the water below. Zabuza reached out with his left hand, and the gushing water rushed in to capture the wounded and bleeding Kage in an impenetrable prison.

"Well done, Haku. Well done." Zabuza briefly grinned at his exhausted-looking minion, before turning his attention back to his captive. The boy-Mizukage was attempting to break the bubble of pressurized water from the inside, a look of consternation on his face as each of his techniques failed him in turn. Zabuza glanced towards the only other fight that was still going on, the intense focus required to maintain the orb of water little more than a distraction to him. It seemed Kisame had switched to launching water techniques at Chōjūrō's still form, forcing Mei to block his attacks with her own water techniques rather than dodge. Soon she would be out of chakra and then she would fall as well. Satisfied that the battle was as good as won, Zabuza permitted himself to gloat at his enemy.

"Look how far you've fallen, Yagura. Your allies are dead or dying at the hands of your own people, and you're slowly drowning inside your own Village's technique – all because you insisted on treating your followers as enemies instead of friends." Zabuza had intended to laugh at and mock his foe, but instead his mood soured as painful memories resurfaced. "You're going to pay for every time you humiliated me, for hunting me like an animal and for making me live like a beggar… and for forcing me to kill my only childhood friend." He stared down at his former master, feeling a strange sense of emptiness where he thought there should be joy. At last he managed a cold smile. "You're going to die here, Yagura. Once you're dead I'll take your place as Mizukage, and then I'll erase you from history until it's like you never even existed. You'll be nothing, and I'll be everything you never were… It'll be the ultimate revenge."

For the briefest moment Zabuza thought he could make out a flash of chakra, and then the orb of water exploded. A vast cloud of water droplets filled the air, adding to the lingering mist and obscuring all vision. It was all Zabuza could do to bring up his sword in defence before something heavy struck it and sent him hurtling backwards. He landed some distance away, the water sloshing and surging beneath his feet. As he looked around he saw that Mei had formed a massive whirlpool that swallowed Kisame whole, but that was not what had broken the water prison: There was a silhouette standing in the mist where Yagura had been, though it did not look quite human anymore. The monstrous creature bore a grey tail, merciless claws, and was coated in a layer of mucus-like chakra. An aura of pure malice wafted from the figure, cutting straight to the bone like a bitter wind, and for the first time that day Zabuza felt the sharp tinge of fear.

So it's true after all… and here I was hoping that all the talk of him being a daemon host was just another legend.

The creature charged at him like a whirling ball of claws and spines, and it was all Zabuza could do to form water clones to distract the creature. The monstrous Mizukage took them apart in a flurry of claw swipes, destroying them faster than he could create them. Haku coated the monster in a thick barrier of ice, but Yagura shattered it with a contemptuous swipe of his shrimp-like tail. Haku formed ice mirrors to teleport around him and attack from all sides, but Yagura tore them apart with a shockwave of raw chakra that sent the boy bouncing over the water like a skipping stone.

There was a voice then, like the roar of an ocean in a storm, and it took a moment for Zabuza to realize it was Yagura speaking to him. "A water prison and water clones... I see, so you really were intent on wasting my time from the start. Congratulations, you have succeeded in robbing me of one hour of my life with your nonsense. That is as close as anyone has ever come to killing me. Now that you have accomplished your objective, I am going to insist that you die and leave me in peace."

Just as Yagura was about to charge Zabuza once more, the burned and blistered figure of Kisame leaped out of the water and drained the creature's chakra cloak with a single slash of his infamous sword. For the first time since his transformation the monstrous Mizukage recoiled, his features looking more human than before. Kisame followed up by forming a number of hand seals, and a dozen luminous blue sharks leaped out of the water intending to devour Yagura, but before they could reach him they were torn apart by another shockwave; a tempest of water and pure force pushing out in all directions. Zabuza was forced to raise his sword to defend himself, and even then he felt himself being pushed back by the waves that were created, so great was the pressure.

When the waves subsided Yagura was standing there in the eye of the storm, having grown even more monstrous. His skin was now entirely covered by grey scales and mucous slime, spikes jutting out of his body at random intervals, and his torso seemed to be protected by the makings of a turtle's shell. The number of scaled, shrimp-like tails now equalled two.

Without warning, a massive blast of water burst out of the creature's mouth to strike at Kisame. The shark-man blocked the attack with his sword, but no sooner had he absorbed the attack or Yagura appeared before him and kicked him across the room, sword and all. Kisame hit the stone wall with a sickening crunch, both his sword and body remaining stuck to the wall: Where Yagura had kicked the sword, coral had appeared, and the stone-like growths were spreading to cover his entire body faster than the shark-man could snap them off. Soon, Kisame disappeared under a mountain of coral, and with him Zabuza's only remaining chance of victory dissipated.

Yagura turned to regard him, and Zabuza found himself taking an involuntary step backwards. The daemon-child's right eye had closed shut, and his left eye was now a bestial yellow with a crimson pupil. When it spoke the scaled and twisted mouth moved mechanically, as if it took conscious effort to manipulate each individual muscle. "Now it… just you. Please die… quickly…"

Zabuza grinned weakly as he pulled down the bandages that covered his face, and bit his right thumb until a drop of blood appeared. "It seems you leave me no choice… I was hoping to take you out myself, but it looks like I need to call in reinforcements after all." He formed the hand seals of the new technique he had been taught: Boar, Dog, Bird, Monkey and Ram, in that order.

He slammed his hands down onto the surface of the water, and darkness flooded the room.
​

-o-​

Terumī Mei had just barely managed to stave of Kisame Hoshigaki's savage onslaught, trapping him inside of an acidic whirlpool, when suddenly she sensed a surge of malevolent chakra. She realized in shock that Yagura had been forced to unleash the power of the Three-tailed Beast, and Kisame had used that distraction to escape. Mei collapsed in exhaustion almost immediately after, kneeling on the water's surface and breathing heavily. Her mastery of elemental techniques was perfect, as evidenced by her use of the lava- and boil-release bloodline abilities, yet even so the constant use of high-level techniques had all but depleted her chakra reserves. Right when it looked like the Mizukage was about to defeat the intruders single-handedly, Zabuza had placed his hands on the water's surface and a sphere of pure darkness had appeared around him. Not smoke, not a pitch-black material, just… darkness.

She spared a glance towards the stone throne where Chōjūrō still lay. She did not know whether or not he was even alive, but she could not afford to check, not when the Mizukage was fighting in his two-tailed state. In truth, Mei did not know what would happen if the Mizukage reached his three-tailed form, but it could not possibly be good. After a moment Mei stood up on trembling legs, readying herself to intervene if necessary, to do what she could with what little chakra she had remaining. She brushed her impractically long red hair out of her face with a clammy hand, sweat and water having drenched her from top to toe, and swore to herself – not for the first time – to cut it off if she survived this battle.

It was then that the darkness receded, the absence of light vanishing into nothingness as if it had never been there at all. What remained was a young man, his handsome face accented with pronounced tear-troughs and framed by bangs of jet-black hair. His black-and-red Akatsuki cloak was opened to mid-chest, and he had his left arm casually draped over the button. He must have come straight from the battle against the rest of the Mist's forces, yet he did not look at all as if he had been fighting, and she feared for the state of their army if he could afford to look this calm. As for his eyes… Mei immediately lowered her gaze, her breath caught in her throat when she realized just who it was whose form she had been admiring: The man who had, at age sixteen, singlehandedly slaughtered his entire clan.

Uchiha… Itachi!

The young man idly brushed his raven hair out of his face he took in his surroundings with crimson eyes, cursed eyes that she dare not look upon for fear of falling under his spell. He blinked slowly, as if adjusting to the light, before settling his gaze on the person who had summoned him. "We are running out of time, Zabuza-san. Your methods are too inefficient. Go help Kisame out of that coral; I will take care of matters here." The former Swordsman obeyed reluctantly, but did not question his new orders.

Without warning, the monstrous form of the Mizukage spat a volley of water projectiles at his new opponent. When they reached him the Uchiha seemed to flicker out of existence, the attacks bypassing him completely, only for him to reappear behind Yagura. The darkness manifested itself once more, raw blackness enveloping both warriors until an unseen explosion sent the daemon host hurtling out of the shadows and across the room. A dozen blazing shuriken trailed him, and the projectiles struck the beast's mucous coat with a painful hiss. A low and wordless moan of fury escaped from the mouth of the beast – the monstrous creature Mei had to remind herself was the Mizukage – and then Yagura went charging headlong at his unseen opponent.

The darkness shattered into pieces when struck, shards of blackness taking the form of crows and flying off in every direction, leaving the daemon-host to shake its head in confusion. The crows cawed in their hundreds as they circled the beast, before launching themselves at him like black shuriken. Each crow exploded upon impact, and each thunderous blast sent a spray of ichor and torn scales flying in every direction while the creature howled in pain. A final explosion unlike any of the others blinded Mei with its intensity, and as the water around the daemon blasted outwards she realized with onrushing panic and dismay that the final transformation had occurred.

The Mizukage was entirely gone now, consumed whole by the daemon within. A monstrous turtle's shell covered thick red cords of muscle bulging underneath, the four heavyset limbs it crawled on were covered in grey scales and slime, and its twisted horns had grown to fully encapsulate the Mizukage's face. All three shrimp-like tails extended from its rear, swishing this way and that like a cornered animal. The daemon's one visible eye, yellow and red, stared at its enemy with a strange apprehension.

"AT LAST I HAVE REGAINED MY FREEDOM: FOR THIS YOU HAVE MY GRATITUDE, HUMAN. NOW I, ISOBU, THE THREE-TAILED LEVIATHAN OF THE SEA, SHALL RECLAIM MY –"

The monster's voice halted, and for a moment it was as though time itself had frozen. Uchiha Itachi was standing right in front of the creature as if he had always been there and reality had only now caught up with the fact. In his hand a sword had manifested, jet black and covered with runes, and he thrust the arcane weapon into the beast's belly in an almost perfunctory fashion. The instant it touched the creature's chakra, the seals inscribed upon the blade flared into life with power and the daemon's grotesque form seemed to be drawn into it. In less than a second the three-tails was gone, swallowed whole by the ornate weapon, and then the blade too vanished into nothingness once more.

The Mizukage had vanished, sealed away along with the daemon, and only his conical headgear remained where he had left it behind, drifting on the water at the base of his throne. She stared at the scene numbly; unable to wrap her mind around what had just happened, left with no idea as to what she was supposed to think or feel or what would happen next.

Uchiha Itachi turned to his bandaged companion, who had just freed Kisame. "Come, Zabuza-san," he said, sounding as calm as he had at the start. "It is time for you to claim your prize, as promised."

Zabuza hesitated for a fraction of a second, but then his eyes showed an anticipatory glint and walked over to where the ceremonial headdress drifted with long and powerful strides. "I could have waited an eternity for this…" He picked up the Mizukage's conical hat and raised it above him with both hands, placing it on his own head as though crowning himself. "Now, at long last, the future of this country shall belong to me!"

"Congratulations," Itachi said dispassionately. "You have finally achieved your ambition, overthrowing the tyrant who has plagued the Hidden Mist for so long." He calmly regarded Momochi Zabuza. "The late Mizukage was right about one thing, however: You are not fit to rule this country."

Zabuza instantly twirled around and intercepted Kisame's incoming blade with his own, as if he had been waiting for it to happen. As their gigantic swords clashed in a shower of sparks the shark-faced man grinned with the same battle-hungry expression he had shown before. "I did say I wanted to test myself against the Seven Swordsmen, didn't I? You are the one they call the Daemon of the Mist, considered skilled even amongst the strongest generation of the Seven. With a reputation like that, I hope you won't disappoint me, Zabuza-san!"

The boy Haku immediately moved to intervene, but a sidelong glance from Uchiha Itachi rooted him in place. The child stood frozen on the water's surface, his whole body trembling soundlessly, and Mei felt a sharp pang of sympathy as she realized just how badly the boy ached to help his master.

Zabuza's face twisted into a vicious expression as he circled his opponent. "I knew this was going to happen when I joined up with you. No matter, Yagura is still dead. All that's left for me to do is finish you off, and then my ambition shall finally be fulfilled. I will be Mizukage!" With those words the duel began in full, and the two Swordsmen disappeared in a storm of water and frenzied fighting.

"Terumī Mei." She halted at the sound of Uchiha Itachi's voice, having started to form hand seals even without knowing who she should attack. His baleful crimson eyes never left Haku's even as he spoke. "As close advisor to the former Mizukage and bearer of no less than two noble bloodlines, you are ideally positioned to take up the mantle of Mizukage. This transition could be a calm and peaceful one. Moreover, I believe you would be a wiser and more benevolent ruler than your predecessor. You could improve the lives of millions and help make this world less painful to look upon. If you agree to rule peacefully, then from now on Akatsuki shall leave the Mist in peace as well. Does this proposition appeal to you?"

She did her best not to show shock, despite the growing panic which threatened to overwhelm her senses. She would never have admitted her doubts while Yagura was still alive, but his transformation during the battle had forced her to acknowledge the treasonous thoughts that had always lurked in the back of her mind. If I'm going to intervene, I have to do it now while they're fighting each other. But if his offer is genuine, then that's the best outcome I could have hoped for, isn't it? A chance to finally right all the wrongs in the Village, which is all I ever wanted…

When she replied she put as much ice into her voice as she could manage. "And why should the Hidden Mist cooperate with Akatsuki? You have just shown how untrustworthy you are: How do I know you don't seek to make use of us, intending to betray us at earliest opportunity as you have with Zabuza?"

There was a cascade of water where the two Swordsmen's techniques clashed, each casting the same water-style techniques and breaking them against each other with equal strength. However, every time it looked like Kisame might be hit, he simply absorbed the attack with his sword and added the chakra to his own. Zabuza had no such luxury and quickly realized he had no choice but to fight in melee. The sound of their massive blades clashing echoed throughout the stone chamber.

Itachi seemed to consider her question. "Trust is a peculiar concept. For every person on the planet, there are circumstances where they will act in your best interests, as well as situations in which they would seek to destroy you. Do you call it betrayal if a friend chooses to protect his family over your own? What we mean by 'trust', then, is a form of understanding: An acceptance of another person's actions and intentions, so that we may take their preferences into account and ensure a lasting cooperation."

At that moment Haku's shuddering accelerated, and for a moment Mei thought the child would break free, but then the pressure radiating from those crimson eyes increased in intensity and the boy collapsed with a small and pitiful gasp. She hurried to catch the boy before he could drown in the water. Itachi turned to regard her now, though she still did not dare meet his gaze as he spoke.

"As he stated earlier, Zabuza was perfectly aware of our intentions, and yet he went along with our plan regardless because he hoped to betray us first. Since we both acted in accordance with this common understanding, it cannot truly be called a 'betrayal' at all – Akatsuki simply acted consistently with our desire for peace, just as announced beforehand. Simply put, the fact that you now possess greater knowledge of Akatsuki's methods and motives makes it more attractive for you to deal with us, not less."

Mei was still trying to gather her senses when a sudden surge of dread overcame her, and as she turned to look for the cause she saw that a cloud of malevolent purple chakra had formed around Momochi Zabuza, shrouding him like a daemonic cloak. As she stared in shock, Zabuza deflected his opponent's blade and kicked the blue-skinned man across the room with impossible strength. The next instant he was behind Itachi, and before she could react he had cut the young man in half with his great cleaver. No sooner did his blade cut his foe or there was an explosion, blindingly bright and deafeningly loud, and Zabuza was hurled across the water with half his flesh burned and torn off by the blast.

A murder of crows appeared out of nowhere shortly after, conjoining in the centre of the room like a dark cloud, changing and twisting until it took on the form of a man. Soon Uchiha Itachi stood before her once more, whole and uninjured, still gazing at her with the same level expression. "…don't you think that's true, Terumī Mei? I would very much like to hear your opinion."

She finally released the hand seal she had been holding, her arms falling limply along her sides. Her jaw slowly worked as Hoshigaki Kisame walked over to where Zabuza floated in the water and, still grinning, finished him off with savage blows of his great sword. The scales running along the blade did not cut, but rather rent his opponent apart in great bloody chunks, and the weapon almost seemed to shudder with delight as it lapped up the lingering chakra shroud in the process. Soon there was nothing left to be recognized of the former Swordsman, yet still the monstrous man kept on hacking away with glee.

This is Akatsuki? I can't fight these people, not by myself – that's madness. Her gaze went from one black-clad foe to the other, and then towards the two boys lying still besides her. At last a feeling of cold steel settled in her spine, and she walked over to where Chōjūrō lay, carrying Haku with her as she did so. She knelt beside the young Swordsman and checked his injuries, silently breathing a sigh of relief as she confirmed that he would live. "Fine," she said at last. "I will do as you ask, on one condition: This boy, Haku, stays with me. You will not take him back with you. If you refuse…" She met his eyes. "I'll kill you."

Silence reigned in that stone room as Uchiha Itachi's crimson eyes bored into hers, gazing into her very essence as he weighed her words and will. Mei dreaded to think what would happen if he called her bluff, but there was no going back on her words now. At last, the barest hint of a smile appeared on the young man's face. "I suppose this is proof that I chose correctly. There is no sense in complaining if I get exactly what I asked for, after all. Very well, then: I accept your terms."

She nodded, her muscles slowly unclenching as she realized she was not about to die. "Then it is settled. I will rule Kirigakure as Fifth Mizukage, and the Mist shall take no hostile action against Akatsuki during my reign. However, if you should ever return to this place..." She looked at the two members of Akatsuki, her expression cold and hard. "Know that we will be ready for you. Leave, and never come back."

The Uchiha inclined his head politely. "I wish you the best of luck with your new position, Terumī Mei." He turned. "Come, Kisame. We are done here." The shark-man gave her an inappropriately cheery wave, and then the two of them vanished into nothingness, leaving behind only devastation and change.​

 

[Mister Spicy]

Classy.

I like the conflict resolution and the sudden but inevitable betrayals.

 

[RazorSmile]

Poor Zabuza. What a life. At least Haku's okay -- and I always had an amused soft spot for Chojuro's bizarre combination of pant-shitting terror and fanatically loyal courage.

And now we know where the darkness technique came from. Fucking Itachi.

 

[Sophronius]

Chapter 23

"Hey, have you seen Sakura lately?" Naruto glanced around their old training grounds, looking for any sign of pink hair peeking out from the scattered tree stumps that stood in the centre of the forest clearing. "I haven't seen her at all since… you know."

With one month left to go before the start of the Chūnin exams, and still lacking a decisive answer from Sakura, Kakashi had decided that they might as well take the time to practice so as to leave their options open. Naruto had to admit that this made a certain amount of sense, and yet he could not help but feel that some kind of trick was being played – as if the act of preparation itself would make the coming event more likely. Like a slowly building avalanche, each rolling boulder dragged others along in its wake and added to the growing cascade without taking any conscious part in the decision. And if stones could think, Naruto wondered if perhaps they too would come up with excellent reasons for doing the seemingly senseless things they did.

"She'll join us," Sasuke said, his eyes closed in reflection as he rested against one of the many trees surrounding the forest glade. "She'll be here soon."

Naruto was just about to ask him how he could possibly know that, when Sakura emerged from the treeline and calmly walked up to them. She leaned back against the tree besides Naruto like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Sakura-chan?" He eyed her anxiously, looking for any sign that she was still upset. "Are you okay?"

There was an odd gleam in her eyes that made him feel distinctly uncomfortable when it turned his way. "I'm fine, Naruto. I've decided that I will join you for the chūnin exams after all."

"Oh, that's good," said Naruto, unsure what to make of this new development. "Me too."

It did not take much longer for their teacher to show up after that. Kakashi body-flickered into existence upon the nearest tree stump, only a faint trail of displaced air betraying the route he had taken.

"Hey kids, good to see you're all here early." He nodded towards Sakura, not seeming surprised to see her in the slightest. "I've been preparing your training schedules these past few days, and after thinking about it long and hard I decided that the best way to prepare you all is to teach you the ancient and most noble art of genjutsu."

"We already know how to do that," Sakura said, not rising to the bait. "You trained us just before our mission in Waves."

"Did I?" Kakashi scratched his masked chin, and looked blandly off into the distance. "Huh. I suppose what I really meant is that I would teach you, uh, elemental techniques? They're as good as any, I guess."

Sasuke glared at him, his annoyance contrasting sharply with Sakura's composure. "Mastering the Grand fireball technique was an integral part of the Uchiha rite of passage, as you're perfectly well aware."

"Ah yes, I suppose it is." Kakashi's one eye turned more serious now, as he hopped off his log and walked up to the three of them. "Well, since you're all such well-prepared and talented little genin, why don't we try a little test to see how much you've learned? Let's do one of those simulations you seem to like so much." His head snapped to Naruto, causing him to jump. "Naruto! You're advancing down a corridor when an enemy ninja appears from the shadows and hurls a volley of needles at you. What do you do?"

Naruto flinched, remembering Haku. "I grab my scroll and unseal my metal shell to-"

"Too late, you're dead." Kakashi's head swivelled to face Sasuke. "The ninja forms a hand sign and sends a torrent of water rushing at you. What do you do?"

"I activate my Sharingan and leap away," Sasuke said instantly. "Then I draw my sword and-"

"There is not enough room in the corridor to dodge; the water crashes into you and tosses you aside like a ragdoll." He turned and advanced menacingly towards Sakura, the air thickening with unreleased power. "Sakura, the ninja turns towards you and forms the tiger seal. What do you do?"

"I run and hide behind Sasuke!" She flinched even as she spoke the words, and her eyes darted to Kakashi's and Sasuke's in mortified horror, clearly expecting them to start berating her. Sure enough, Kakashi's one eye narrowed in an expression of purest disdain, and then… smiled.

"Your answer is quite correct. In an ambush scenario facing an enemy with unknown abilities, there is no time to contemplate the situation or come up with a grand strategy – the only option you have is to resort to the basic, pre-planned team arrangements that you trained until you can recite them in your sleep. In this case, for the support ninja to assume formation behind the front-line fighters is precisely the sort of thing that should be second nature by now, and in addition to this you perfectly analysed that the ninja's fire technique would be countered by Sasuke's own. Very nicely done."

Sasuke stared at her with an unreadable expression and she flinched once more under his gaze, clearly wishing that their teacher had praised her a little less glowingly.

"But that's not fair," said Naruto, realizing how childish he sounded yet continuing anyway. "The simulations we ran did take those things into account – Naruko didn't exactly go easy on us, you know!"

(He had tried to get back at her for the time when she left him to explain things to Kakashi, but this plan had met with the slight difficulty of having to recreate her first, at which point she always saw it coming. He consoled himself with the fact that he was at least being outsmarted by someone who was his match in terms of both brains and beauty.)

"There is a difference between being harsh and being realistic," said Kakashi. "Acting like the world is dark and full of enemies waiting around every corner might make you seem wise and world-weary to a preteen academy student, but it will do nothing to prepare you for bright and blinding reality. Naruto, in your only dangerous mission so far you went up against a foe who did not actually intend to kill you. You can never expect that scenario to arise again, do you understand? Realistically, nine out of ten times missions will go off without a hitch, and the results of the last one will depend on how fast you can run."

Naruto stared at the leaf-littered forest ground, unable to find a reply to that.

"Well," said Kakashi, more mildly now, "I'll admit that you're better equipped to pull of clever strategies than almost anybody else, considering your mastery of shadow clones and your enormous chakra reserves that let you get away with otherwise fatal mistakes. Still, that kind of excess cleverness is going to get you killed one day if you don't watch out." He kneeled down and took a scroll from his pouch, spreading it out over the grass and pushing aside leaves with a gust of chakra as he did so.

Sakura crouched down next to it, arms clutched around her knees as she did whenever she was truly enraptured. "I've seen this before… this is from the Second Hokage's treatise on combat tactics, isn't it?"

Kakashi smiled at her, though it seemed a little morose. "That's right. I figured that if you're going to practice combat simulations, you should at least learn the theory behind it." He pointed at the text running down the right side of the scroll, and Naruto kneeled down on the grass next to Sakura and Sasuke so he could better see what was written there. "Dodge, Block, Evade, Charm and Hide." Kakashi's finger moved to the left side of the scroll, which mirrored the text on the right. "Area, Pierce, Range, Flare and Seek. For every method of defence there exists a perfect counter: Some attacks can't be dodged, some can't be blocked, and some enemies can find you even if you're hiding deep below ground."

With a start Naruto realized what he was looking at: It was a diagram, a closed loop of techniques that each defeated the next and was countered by the one before that. Piercing attacks smash through blocks which in turn defend against large-scale attacks that cannot be dodged… It was all too elegant to be entirely accurate, and yet he could see how you could model a ninja's abilities completely this way.

"I see," said Sasuke. "So, the purpose of the fireball technique is not to kill your opponent, but to force them to block or evade the attack, which then opens them up to any technique marked as having range or piercing ability. In fact, you could say that the measure of a ninja's power lies in the versatility of their skillset, multiplied by their ability to react instantly to the enemy and counter their techniques."

"Exactly." Kakashi's finger drifted to the top of the scroll, and then to the bottom. "Your other abilities work exactly the same way: If you have more speed than the enemy you can dictate the terms of the battle, and if you have more stamina you can force them to come to you. Note that these measures are purely relative: If your opponent is even slightly faster than you, then you must not try to run away from them. Also, if they have more stamina than you they will catch you regardless – it'll just take a little longer. And of course, it's only the speed and stamina of your slowest comrade that really matters…"

Naruto stared hard at the scroll, the endless columns of kanji dancing and blurring before his eyes. He had been taught the basics of this back at the academy, he was sure of it, but for once the others were passing up the opportunity to scold him for failing to pay attention way back then. He supposed Sakura's ninja rules would have had something to say about attempting to carry an old civilian around while fleeing – and yet, even if he could, he doubted he would have acted any differently this time around.

A single written word stood out amidst the field of black scribbles. "What does forbidden stand for?"

"Ah," said Kakashi. "Well. As you know, there are certain ninjas who possess unique powers for which there might not exist any counter at all. In a fight between two skilled jōnin who have mastered all of the basics, what truly sets them apart are their clan techniques and bloodline abilities. There frankly is no anticipating such unfortunate events as the sky falling apart or a pit of shades opening up beneath your feet to swallow you whole, and so the only counter to such forbidden abilities is knowledge." As he indicated the two words in the centre of the scroll, his one eye flickered ever so briefly over to Sasuke.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "And not only do these magnificent glowing red eyes grant the ability to cast genjutsu and see the colour of chakra, but I bet you don't even need to turn on a light to read a book or find your keys in the middle of the night! Truly, we are as naught before their magnificence."

Sakura shot an exasperated look at him, but Kakashi smiled in a way that seemed at least a little more genuine than before. "Strictly speaking, Naruto, your Shadow Clone technique is also considered forbidden, and might just prove enough to counter the secret techniques of even jōnin-ranked ninjas." He shrugged. "Well. You three don't need to worry about that sort of thing just yet, however."

After that reassuring statement, Kakashi handed them each a piece of chakra-infused paper, meant to reveal to them their own chakra nature. Sakura seemed quite pleased to see her paper grow soggy with water, and there was a brief moment of surprise when Sasuke's crumpled from static electricity. Naruto's however merely split clean down the middle, with so little fanfare that for a moment he thought he had just torn it by accident.

"Wind chakra is quite rare you know," Sakura said, chiding him in advance of any complaints he might have about it. "You can use it to create invisible blades of wind that can cut through solid rock. That's ranged, piercing and hidden aspects all tied together in a single attack."

"I guess." Naruto had to admit that that did sound quite powerful, and yet… "Isn't there something else I can learn, that maybe gives me enhanced mobility or something?" Haku had the ability to teleport: Instant travel and communication, and he used it to kill people. He could have helped to save the world… "You said that earth is the most common element type, right? What if I learned that instead?"

Kakashi tapped his mask thoughtfully. "It's far more difficult to learn a secondary element, but I'll admit that I wouldn't be able to teach you Wind regardless, as it's my weakest element. I suppose I could take some time out of my busy schedule to teach you Hiding like a Mole and Earthen Wall… saves me from having to call in a favour from Asuma, at least."

Naruto nodded, resolute. This was clearly one of those crucial, life-transforming decisions that would determine the entire future of his ninja career. Making the wrong choice now could spell victory or defeat later down the line, but how could he ever know for certain if the decision he was about to make was one he would come to regret for the rest of his life, however few or many years that would be?

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Just use the shadow clone technique to learn both at the same time, you dolt."

"Hey, that's not a bad idea," Naruto said, grinning to let him know he had already figured that out himself. "I guess you're not as dumb as you look, wonder boy."

After that Kakashi handed each of them a technique scroll to study, and Sakura and Sasuke quickly engrossed themselves in the contents. Still, no matter how hard he tried to focus, Naruto could not help but stare at the paper that had been split in twain, the two halves of it lying discarded on the grass.

I wonder…
​

-o-​

By the time the sun reached the top of the sky, Kakashi had long vanished and left the three genin to continue training by themselves. After several long hours of staring at scrolls and attempting to create elemental chakra by clasping their hands together and focussing really hard, Sasuke had finally called it a day, declaring that they might as well practice on their own time if their teacher was not going to be of any use to them anyway. And so it was that Naruto and Sakura found themselves wondering through the busy streets of Konoha in search of a place to get lunch before they went back to training.

(It was not strictly speaking slacking off, Naruto supposed, seeing how several of his shadow clones were training with his new wind-technique teacher Sarutobi Asuma even as they spoke. The man actually turned out to be quite congenial, assuming one was wise enough not to ask ill-conceived questions such as "hey isn't that also the Third's surname?" and "How come I never see you guys together?")

"I think I'll focus on learning the Water Whip technique," Sakura mused, clearly still running jutsu-formulas through her head as they walked. "It has a low chakra cost, which is perfect for me given my small reserves, and it's nonlethal which should be ideally suited to the Chūnin Exams."

"I don't know if the exams really are going to be all that non-lethal, Sakura-chan," he said carefully. He still had not mustered up the courage to ask her what caused her to change her mind about joining, after seeming so dead-set against it earlier. "Uh, then again, it's probably not a good idea to learn techniques that you're not actually willing to use, so I guess nonlethal is fine. Good thinking, Sakura-chan."

She stopped. "Listen, Naruto. I need to apologize to you: I've been acting out on you, venting my frustrations at you just because it was convenient and you were too kind-hearted to ever complain about it." She grimaced, clearly finding it hard to continue. "You've been such a good friend to me all these years, and I never – I never even got the chance to, before… I completely took you for granted."

Naruto blinked. "Ah… don't worry about it?"

Sakura looked about to say something else, but in that moment she spotted a girl on the opposite side of the street, and she cursed under her breath. Naruto recognized the newcomer as the blond heir of the Yamanake clan, and the daughter of the mysterious man who had been there after the events with Mizuki-sensei in the forest. "Oh crap," she breathed. "It's Ino! We need to hide."

"Wait, from one of our former classmates? Why?"

"It's Ino," she said, as though that explained everything. She darted to the nearest shopping stall and ducked her head low. "Quick, pretend you're browsing for wares. Do you think she noticed me?"

Naruto gave this question all the consideration it deserved. "Sakura-chan, your hair is pink."

Sure enough, a round smiling face with a blond ponytail soon popped up next to Sakura, even as an overly familiar arm draped itself around her shoulders. "Why, if it isn't my favourite forehead-girl! Where've you been? Doing boring D-ranks, I bet. Do you know what I have been doing?" The girl flashed an even broader grin. "That's right, a mission! C-rank. Escort. And guess just who I've been escorting?"

Sakura disentangled herself and reclaimed her personal space in a smooth cat-like motion that must have taken years of special training to pull off. "Let me guess, Ino-pig: A creepy old man with a large wart on his nose and an inappropriate interest in overly young blond girls?

Ino wrinkled her nose, but the smile in her eyes remained. "Bah, no, you're not even trying." She sighed theatrically, but then her smile reappeared again – her expressions were shifting so rapidly it was making Naruto cross-eyed. "No, it was a prince, from the land of Tea! That's right! I got to escort an actual prince! They chose my team specifically because of my clan's special diplomatic training. We got to have royal tea-ceremonies and everything. I bet you're real jealous now, huh?"

Sakura crossed her arms defiantly. "Was it an old prince?"

"No! Well, maybe a little bit. But he was so charming! Not quite as handsome as our Sasuke-kun of course, but he really knew how to treat a girl, unlike some boys in Konoha I could mention, like Kiba."

Sakura smiled. "So I was two-third's right, then."

"We were on a mission too," Naruto said. "There weren't any charming princes in it though. Well, I mean there was this one girl who I thought was pretty, only I think she turned out to be a guy? And then, he kinda stabbed me and everyone died except for the people we were actually supposed to kill."

Ino stared at him in surprise, as though realizing for the first time he was there. "Oh wow, that sounds almost interesting. Was he a good kisser, at least?"

It took Naruto a second to find an appropriate reply to this, which was clearly too long a time to wait for Ino as her hand flew towards her forehead: "Oh wow, I totally forgot what I wanted to tell you! Did you hear the news?" She was looking at Sakura again. "There was a revolution in the Land of Water! That's right, they have a new Kage now. And you'll never guess who they say was leading the final assault!"

Ino was looking at Sakura expectantly, but her grin slowly faded as she realized Sakura was looking straight past her. Naruto and Ino both turned to follow her gaze, and found Sasuke standing right behind them, slouching and with both hands in his pockets as was his habit. "Hey Ino, it's been a while," he said, favouring the noble girl with a measured gaze. "So, who was it?"

"Ah," said Ino, faltering. "That is… I mean, I wasn't…"

Sasuke's expression slowly shifted: First, his eyebrows creased in confusion, as though he were trying to figure out a particularly vexing puzzle. Then his eyes and mouth tightened as the air seemed to grow thicker and heavier around him. "Well, what are you waiting for? Tell me." He took a step towards Ino, who staggered back against the wall with a small gasp. He slammed one arm against the wall next to her head, as though to prevent her from escaping, and brought his face close to hers until they almost touched. "Say his name!"

"Sasuke!" Sakura pulled him back with one arm, though it clearly cost her all her strength to do so. "Give her some space, for goodness sake – she can barely breathe like this!"

Sasuke looked like he wanted to say something cutting in reply, but stopped when Ino finally spoke up. "Uchiha," she said haltingly, as she steadied herself against the wall. "It was Uchiha, Itachi…"

All colour vanished from Sasuke's face on the instant, but the pressure in the air redoubled. Sakura tried to put a hand on his shoulder, but he brushed her off and strode away without a single word. "Sasuke-kun!" She cried out, as she ran after him. "Wait, we were still going to train together, remember? Wait, Sasuke-kun, hold-up!"

Naruto stared after them, uncertain as to what he was supposed to think or feel or do. He turned to the girl besides him, who was still leaning back against the wall and trying to catch her breath.

"I really don't get what you girls see in that guy," Naruto said after a while. "I mean, he's a total jerk."

"To be honest, I kind of forgot," she said, her face flushed scarlet. "But now, I think I remember."
​

-o-​

Sakura had followed Sasuke all the way back to his family's compound. Upon arrival he declared that since she was there anyway, they might as well practice their taijutsu by sparring together. The obvious reason for this was left unsaid, and Sakura accepted his offer without complaint, grateful for the chance to finally spend some time with him alone. And if his kicks and punches landed a little harder during that session than they usually did, well, she would worry about the bruises in the morning.

After losing yet another round to him, she finally tapped out, her body thoroughly spent yet feeling far from discouraged. She smiled sweetly at him: "Would you say that I'm improving, Sasuke-kun?"

"I suppose you're not getting any worse," he agreed reluctantly.

As they packed up their training equipment she moved with deliberate slowness, so that by the time they were done, it was already late in the evening. "Is it that late? The sun is about to set," she noted with feigned surprise.

He shrugged. "I'm sure it will rise again tomorrow."

"I seem to have forgotten my towel," she said, pursing her lips as she peered into her bag. "Maybe I could borrow one from your home," she suggested innocently. "It wouldn't take too long."

He gave her a look that said he knew exactly what she was playing at, and for a moment she was sure he would refuse her, but then he turned and shrugged. "If you like."

His family home was a traditional house, built during the founding of the Leaf, though mansion might have been the better word for it. The two of them passed under the stone arch leading into the garden, and travelled the cobblestone path to the front gate in silence. Sakura knew from experience that trying to fill the quiet did not work with Sasuke. Sometimes it was better to say nothing, she reminded herself, though it was getting harder and harder to keep thinking that.

"Maybe not so much where you or Naruto are concerned," Kakashi had admitted, his words resounding hollowly in her ears. "But in general terms, yes: I promise you that that is precisely how he thinks."

As they entered the living room, she took a moment to absorb its contents. The house was overflowing with memorabilia, every bookcase and flat surface filled with ancient scrolls and clocks and family pictures, each given their own personal place of honour and kept in perfect condition. Some of the portraits and paintings had a single person removed from them, their face cut out of the centre with uncharacteristic sloppiness. The clocks were the kind with large swinging pendulums, ticking away the seconds as though they were personally responsible for the passing of time, with a swishing sound that cut through the silence like a shinigami's scythe. The overall impression was that of someone trying to fit the entirety of their clan's history into a single room, unable or unwilling to part with any of it, which she thought could not possibly be healthy. But she could not say that to him either.

They went up the stairs to the second floor, and Sasuke immediately tossed her a towel which she only barely managed to catch. She dried herself off as best she could without taking off any of her sweaty clothes; choosing to clean only her hair and exposed skin, for all that he was looking the other way.

Seeking an innocuous subject to talk about, her eye fell on an antique wooden instrument lying on the dresser, placed perfectly parallel to the window still. "I didn't know you played the flute."

"I don't." Sasuke stared down at the instrument, his expression unreadable. "Father used to make us practice the flute every day. He said that as heirs to Konoha's most noble clan, we should learn to play an instrument. He said it was a matter of clan pride, but it seems like such a waste of time now. Spending all that effort on trying to look good in front of others, when I could have trained to become stronger…"

She decided not to contradict him on that point. "Could you play a song for me?"

For a moment he said nothing, but then he relented with a shrug. He sat down on one of the chairs in front of his open balcony, and she seated herself as close to him as she dared. He took a moment to practice his finger motions and clean the flute's mouth, and then he started playing. It was a simple medley, with a gentle tempo that gave off a profound sense of sadness and loss. It brought her in mind of the time when she first befriended Ino: Being the only girl in their year without a clan, Sakura had been shy and without friends until Ino made it her personal mission to fix all of that. They had grown apart as they grew older, and had never really spoken again after being sorted into separate teams, though now she could not quite remember why. It all seemed so pointless and wasteful to her now.

By the time he finished playing there were tears forming in her eyes. "It's beautiful," she whispered.

"It's awful," he said. "I haven't been practicing, and I'm missing notes. That man never missed a note, not even when he was too busy being the youngest Anbu captain ever to practice."

"Well," she said, "I thought it sounded nice."

"But it doesn't matter what you think, now does it? A false note is still a false note." He flung his flute over the railing, sending it off into the foliage below where it disappeared from sight.

Sakura recoiled, as much by the harshness in his voice as by the rough treatment of such a beautiful instrument. "What's the matter with you? I was only trying to be nice!"

"What's the matter with me?" He turned to regard her coolly, a strange expression in his gleaming black eyes. "Good question. Sakura, you want to go out with me, right? That's why you've been asking me to help you train, as a flimsy pretext?"

She nodded, blushing furiously. This was the moment he was going to shoot her down, she knew, but there was no avoiding it now.

"Then, maybe you can tell me: Why are girls interested in me? I have never shown any interest in them, I barely even bother to disguise my contempt for them half the time, but if anything it only seems to encourage them. I'm cold and distant and I have no redeeming qualities, so what do you all want from me?"

That had not been what Sakura was expecting. "That's not true, you have many qualities," she said carefully. "I mean, you're smart, you're talented, and you have, well I mean, you have good looks…"

"I meant qualities that aren't reducible to being an Uchiha," he said bitterly. "What do I have that would set me apart from anyone else in my clan? Or are you saying that I'm the only Uchiha who still remains, and that's all there is to it?"

"No, not at all," she said hastily. "There's, ah, that's to say, you're, well…" Darn it Sakura, think of something that doesn't sound stupid and shallow! "…you can be nice, well not always, but you can be a good friend when you feel like it…"

"Nice," Sasuke said flatly. "Naruto is nice, but I don't see you being interested in him."

She hesitated. "Well, Naruto isn't… I mean, he doesn't have… I guess he's just not my type, you know? Oh, I don't know Sasuke, can you ever really explain something like who we're attracted to? Humans are complicated creatures, there isn't ever going to be a simple answer to a question like that."

He nodded absentmindedly. "I've read all the scrolls and books I could find, to help me try and understand why people do the things they do. I can explain some things after the fact, but I still don't feel like I could have predicted any of it. If all the girls in our class had fallen for Naruto instead, would I be more or less confused than I am now? I don't know. Even after all this time, I still don't feel like I understand anything."

Sakura tried to picture that, all the girls in their class crushing on Naruto and forming his own personal harem, but her imagination failed her: It was simply too ridiculous a notion. "I don't think… I think Naruto is maybe a little too childish for that to ever happen. Girls generally like someone who is strong, independent, who they can rely on…" But still a little vulnerable inside, so he can be nurtured when he's weak. She put a finger to her lips as she considered the matter. "And, it's not really fair, but there's something about mystery that's very appealing. Someone like Naruto is so easy to read that he's just less interesting than someone with hidden depths like you. Kind of like the way a package you get to unwrap is more enticing than the same gift when it's given plainly for everyone to see."

He scoffed loudly. "That's right, what you're really interested in is unwrapping my package."

She struck him before she even knew what she was doing, and the sound of her slap resounded through the still night. She instantly withdrew her hand, horrified upon seeing the red handprint she left behind on his smooth pale skin. "I'm – I'm so sorry," she said falteringly. "I didn't, I didn't mean to…" She stopped when she saw his empty expression.

"It doesn't matter," he said flatly. "I said something to hurt you, and so you wanted to hurt me back. You just used your hand because you couldn't think of words to do the same. Really, for a ninja you're not very good at hurting people, Sakura."

For a moment she was too flabbergasted to say anything, but then the words poured forth like molten iron from a forge. "Right, because you don't care what anyone else thinks about you, do you, Sasuke? No, for a moment there I forgot that you're completely indifferent to the world around you. Tell me, are you planning to be alone forever? Do you prefer it that way, or are you actually stupid enough to believe that if you allow yourself a moment of happiness you won't be strong enough to kill Itachi? Because you're even more oblivious than Naruto, if that's the case!"

For the first time that day, for the first time she could remember since they were alone in the house of dying villagers amongst the ice and the fire, something awakened in those eyes: A smouldering fury that would have frightened her into silence, if she did not have her own fury to counter it. "How dare–"

"Because that's what this is really about, isn't it? Don't think for a moment you were going to slip that one past me – I'm not half as stupid as you seem to think. You want to understand why Itachi did what he did? You want to know whether you're like him or not? Then tell me about it, and ask me directly, instead of dancing around the issue and talking about my feelings as though you actually cared!"

For once Sasuke seemed to be lost for words, his well run dry of biting comments and clever comebacks. "That's, that is none of your business! You know nothing about my clan, and you have no idea what even happened back then. You have no right to talk about any of that!"

"No, of course I don't know what happened," she shot back, "because you never talk about it! You close yourself off completely, even to your own team. People you depend on, and whose lives depend on you. You're right: I don't know what you're thinking, I have no idea what's really going on when you're hurt or what I should do about it, but it's sure as heck not going to get any better by itself! So, let me guess – Your brother killed your family, and your response is to dedicate your life to him? What kind of revenge is that supposed to be? Are you planning to give him a memorial and bury yourself next to him as well?"

Sasuke rose up in a flash, his body moving faster than her eyes could follow, and suddenly his hand was wrapped around her neck. He pushed her back against the balustrade with merciless strength, a sudden wind whipping her hair across her face as she struggled for balance, and for a brief mad moment she thought he would throw her off the balcony – mad indeed, for you did not let go off a ninja's neck if you wanted to kill them, and in any case a fall from that height would not seriously injure her.

Sasuke had activated his Sharingan, and his crimson eyes were boring directly into hers. She stared back defiantly, ignoring the pain from where his fingers dug into her skin. There was a long moment of silence, and then at last he unclenched his hand, relaxing his fingers one by one as if it cost him all the willpower in the world to do so. Finally his Sharingan receded, and he lowered his gaze. "I'm… I'm sorry."

"…doesn't matter." She massaged her neck, managing a wan smile despite the pain. "After all, I said something to hurt you first, and really – for a ninja you're not very good at hurting people, Sasuke."

He stared at her with a strange, unreadable expression on his face. Even as she wondered what he must be thinking, a distant part of her tried to recall if she had ever heard him apologize for anything before.

"I am not going to give up on my vengeance," he said at last. "I will kill that man. It's the only thing left to me that truly matters anymore. If you're planning to talk me out of that, you can forget it."

"That's fine," she said, though it wasn't, not really. "If we can talk about it at all, that's good enough for me."

He did not say anything else, however, but merely stared out of the veranda and cast his gaze across the forest roof of Konoha. By now the sun had well and truly set, and the moon was starting its long journey across the sky, casting a pale light over the vast treeline. When a brisk wind struck up and rushed through the leaves it set the shadows dancing and twisting amongst the foliage like a congregation of nocturnal spirits. After a while she could no longer tell the nightlife and the shadows apart, their movements intersecting as if they were mingling and playing with one another.

"I suppose I'd better go and look for my flute," he said at last.

"Ah, right." She sent a furtive glance back towards the apartment. "I'll go see if I can find a lamp. It's getting pretty dark, after all…"

"No need," Sasuke said. When she turned around, she saw that he had his Sharingan activated once more, his face highlighted by a distinctive crimson glow. He was smirking, the characteristic half-smile looking somehow more genuine on him than when he tried to smile in full. "Naruto was right, you know: These eyes really are great for finding things in the dark."​

 

[Obloquy]

Nice argument and interactions! A little too rational for belief with their emotions, but since this is that kind of fic I still like it.

 

[Sophronius]

Nice argument and interactions! A little too rational for belief with their emotions, but since this is that kind of fic I still like it.

Click to shrink...

What the - you read that whole thing and replied in less than five minutes? Just how fast do you read?

(I mean, I guess fast reading is not that unusual, but since it took me a whole week to write I guess it just feels weird.)

Anyway, are you referring to the first half or the last scene? Because I don't really feel like Sasuke is acting all that rational, or even Sakura for that matter. I mean, they're solving their romantic differences with physical violence! That's more "crazy ninja" than "stoic rationalist", I feel.

I'm glad you like the chapter!

 

[RazorSmile]

This just might be the single best chapter of this fic so far (excluding Clone!Kakashi's assault on Gato's tower)

 

[Sophronius]

Hmm, the update is a day late. I appear to be slipping!

Chapter 24

The days went by quickly, as they always did when you wished for them to pass slowly, and then it was the morning of the Chūnin Exams. The three genin were standing side-by-side in front of the building's entrance, each lost in their own thoughts. Naruto was finally starting to feel the full weight of what they were about to do: If they were ever going to turn back, now would have been the time.

"Let's go," said Sasuke, and they went.

The first round of the Exam was to be held in the same red round Academy building they had spent so much time in during their formative years, and yet suddenly its dusky rooms and dank hallways seemed so much more ominous than they had before. Logic dictated that the building should seem smaller to them now, but somehow the opposite seemed to be the case. As they made their way through the long corridors to the registration desk, old unwanted memories began to resurface in Naruto's mind, bringing with them feelings of loneliness and resentment that he had thought long forgotten.

As the team handed in their entrance forms, Naruto spotted an oddly familiar boy clad in forest greens with a black bowl cut, along with another boy and girl each of whom were handing in their own forms. Suddenly Naruto's memory sparked with recognition. "Hey, you're that guy, right? From the forest? You were doing laps around the Village on your hands, and saying all that crazy stuff about becoming a ninja even though you can't mould chakra, and holding on to vows that make no sense."

"Naruto!" Sakura looked like she wanted to bob him on the head, but she visibly held herself back. "You can't speak like that to upperclassmen. They're older than us; you have to accord them respect."

Even as Sakura berated him, a small snort emanated from the new girl. "That sounds like Lee, all right." She was small and round-faced, with brown hair tied up in buns that made her look a little like a panda, though Naruto thought it better not to mention the fact. "I'm Tenten, by the way."

The boy in green frowned at Naruto, his thick eyebrows making him look strangely sincere. "You should not underestimate the power of youth. It is my firm belief that hard work and dedication can overcome any barrier, no matter how tall. With enough practice, even someone like me who cannot mould chakra can overcome reality and accomplish the impossible."

"But – but that doesn't…" Naruto spluttered helplessly, struggling to explain the patently obvious. "Look, first of all you're not really a ninja if you aren't able to use ninjutsu or genjutsu, if anything that would make you a samurai – but you definitely can't overcome reality itself, that's completely nonsensical!"

"How do you know?" Lee asked curiously. "Have you ever tried it?"

"It's not a matter of trying! Reality is real, I mean, that's just what the word means. That's like saying you're going to draw a square circle – it's a totally different kind of impossible from just saying you're going to fix all of the world's problems or something like that. It literally can't be done!"

"I see," said Lee. "But just because something cannot be done does not mean you should not do it."

Naruto opened his mouth to form a response to this, but the boy beside Lee shook his head wearily. "Do not strain yourself; arguing against Lee only makes his conviction stronger. I suspect he was struck in the head a few too many times while sparring in his youth." His pale skin and eyes and dark ponytail marked him as a member of the Hyūga clan, just like Hinata, though he sounded nothing like her. "You are Hatake Kakashi's team, are you not? Our sensei has made mention of you. Particularly…" he focussed his gaze on Sasuke. "What is your name?"

Sasuke regarded the older boy apprehensively. "You know, when you ask for someone's name it's generally considered polite to introduce yourself first." He turned to face Tenten, giving her a small nod. "My name is Uchiha Sasuke, by the way – I'm pleased to meet your acquaintance."

The girl blushed ever so slightly in response. Well, of course she does.

The Hyūga boy crossed his arms and glared at Sasuke. "Never mind, everyone already knows who you are, Uchiha. The proctors must be excited, having the heir to Konoha's second most noble clan taking part in their Exams."

"I would have been happy to grant the honoured Hyūga clan that title," Sasuke replied easily. "But I'm flattered you would grant us both first and second place. I imagine these exams will end with a very similar result."

The Hyūga's eyes narrowed dangerously, and his teammates tensed. "We shall see. Perhaps it would be fun to crush you in the finals and show the world just how pathetic your clan really is – but then, I suppose your brother has already done us that favour." He turned around and strode out of the room. "Let's go. Lee. Ten-ten."

The two older boys swiftly left the room, while the girl gave an embarrassed bow and mouthed a silent apology before hurrying on after them. Sakura shot a worried look at Sasuke, who was trembling ever so slightly as he stared at the spot where the newcomers had left. "Sasuke-kun, are you all right?"

Slowly, a weak grin formed on Sasuke's face. "This exam... it looks like it's going to be interesting."
​

-o-​

They stepped through the door to the waiting room, and Naruto was instantly overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people there. He immediately spotted the upperclassmen of before amongst the bustling crowd – though Naruto avoided eye-contact with them – but there were also genin from countless other villages, each in their own uniforms and wearing their Village's insignia's on their headbands. Naruto recognized the broad straw hats of the Hidden Grass, and of course the dusty and dour Sand ninjas were easy to spot, but there were countless others that Naruto could not place. He also could not help but notice how much older the other contestants were compared to him, and he wondered if perhaps the other Villages had sent some chūnin over to compete as genin while simultaneously spying on the others. In fact, now that he thought about it, he found it almost inconceivable that they had not.

They had already submitted their entrance forms, but perhaps it was not yet too late to turn back…

"Oh, Sasuke-kun!" With her clan's telepathic abilities, Ino had instantly located Sasuke and was now draping herself over him. "You're late! I was afraid you would not make it. We're all just so eager to see you in action!" She was followed at a distance by her team mates Chōji and Shikamaru, who were wisely staying out of this.

"Oh, hey guys," said Naruto. "I didn't know you were taking the exam too."

Shikamaru opened his mouth to reply, but he was interrupted by a loud groan from Sakura. "Oh for goodness sake, Ino-pig, unhand him! Have you no sense of shame or moral decency? You would think the heir to the noble Yamanaka clan would know better than to behave like some back alley prostitute. "

"And there is our precious little Sakura." Ino motioned to Sakura with a roll of her eyes. "Sasuke-kun, please tell me that this humourless harridan has not yet managed to seduce you with her vile and bookish wiles. I realize you men can get lonely on those cold nights away from the Village, but surely the thought of me waiting for you would have kept you warm?" Her voice took on a note of concern. "Hey, you don't have a thing for grotesquely engorged foreheads, do you?"

Sasuke disentangled himself with admirable stoicism. "Never more so than in this moment."

Ino huffed loudly, hands on her hips as she mock-pouted. "Tch, why is it that all the best looking boys have such terrible taste in girls? What's a beautiful young woman like me to do?"

"Hah, forget about the pretty boy, Ino – it's about time you let a real man into your life." This remark was followed by loud yapping noises from Kiba's large white dog, Akamaru. The feral boy grinned at the group as he stepped out of the crowd, his friend Shino in tow. "Looks like the old gang's back together! Did you all come here just to watch me win these exams? Aww, you shouldn't have."

Sasuke gave the newcomer a smirk. "You seem confident, Kiba. Did your master feed you an extra portion of biscuits today?"

"Har, no. We've got ourselves a special weapon – a secret source of information! The other teams won't know what hit 'em. But, since we're all friends here I'll share it with you… for a cost."

"There is no point in asking for money," said Shino. Between his hood and upturned collar it was almost impossible to gauge his expression. "Why? Because Ino can easily use her chakra sensing ability to tell that you're referring to the person in the corner of the room who is surrounded by all the others."

"Aw, come on!" cried Kiba. "What'd you tell them that for? I was about to make a fortune here."

Shino adjusted his glasses. "Why? Because you just said that we are friends, and friends should act as one for the good of the whole. That is what I believe the word 'friend' means."

Kiba's secret source of information turned out to be an older genin with glasses by the name of Kabuto – one who had already failed the exam six times, no less. His claim to fame was a huge assortment of cards with information on each of the exam's participants, complete with an in-depth analysis of their strengths and weaknesses.

He smiled warmly at them. "Ah, more rookies fresh out of the academy, is it? There are more of you than usual this year." He turned several cards over with a flick of his finger. "I have all the information available right here, on these cards: For a small price, you can gain a significant edge over your enemy by buying their card from me – or you can buy your own card, if you want to protect your privacy. Selling information on others or trading info for info is fine too, if you prefer. Everything works for me."

The other rookies quickly fell upon the cards, trying to see what the data had to say about them, but Kabuto withdrew his goods with a wag of his finger, and soon he had them haggling over prices.

Naruto frowned at the sight. "Come on guys, let's just go. This is obviously a scam of some sort."

"Huh, a scam?" Kiba turned around and acknowledged Naruto's existence with a sniff. "What are you babbling about? This is our ticket to an easy victory, right here."

Naruto stared at him. "Kiba, this guy said he failed the exam six times. I mean, if that's true, then he's gotta be the most incompetent ninja ever, in which case why listen to anything he has to say? It's totally obvious he's taking this exam over and over just so he can sell his stuff to people like us, and come on – he's only selling his information to rookies? That doesn't sound suspicious to you at all?"

"Hey, maybe he's just a nice guy and he's trying to help us out, you don't know." This remark was followed by a derisive snort from Sasuke, which caused Kiba to turn a bright shade of red. "Bah, I bet you're just jealous you didn't find out about this guy yourself. What the hell makes you think you know anything about it, anyway? You didn't even bother to show up for the academy exams, and you had to get your daddy to bail you out. I don't need to take crap like this from a dropout like you."

Naruto stared at him, dumbstruck. "But that was because – wait. You really think I'm stupid?"

"Uh, yeah? You're a dumbass and everyone knows it; you don't even know how to speak properly! Even your own team mates call you an idiot, like, all the time. Dumbass." Satisfied that he had won the argument, Kiba turned and walked away. "Come on, let's leave these losers to it. We've got an exam to win." Shino seemed to follow more out of a sense of obligation than anything else.

"They're just saying that to make fun of me, they don't actually mean any of that stuff!" Naruto trailed off as he stared at the circle of faces surrounding him. Do they?

"Just ignore him," said Shikamaru. The Nara clan heir was rubbing the sleep from his eyes, managing to look just as bored after the heated exchange as right before. His elongated face and pony tail gave his features a sharp and pointed look, but that was the only thing that looked sharp about him. "Look, when you spend all your time around genius-types like Hatake Kakashi and Sasuke, it's easy to forget just how dumb most people are – though I don't really think Kiba is all that stupid, in fact I'd say he's above average. But when you're put in the same class as all the Village's clan heirs, I guess it gets all the more important that you're not at the bottom of the pack." He sighed. "Man, what a pain."

To Shikamaru's right, the rotund Chōji was nodding firmly along as always. "You said it, Shikamaru."

Naruto was just about to reply to the duo, when a familiar voice piped up behind him.

"I'm – I'm sorry, Naruto-kun… I'm sure Kiba-kun didn't mean it like that…"

Naruto turned around to find a pale, dark haired girl standing right behind him, almost the mirror image of the Hyūga he met earlier. "Oh, Hinata-chan! Wait, were you standing behind me this whole time?" A blush crept onto her cheeks. "Oh wow, I totally didn't notice you. What're you doing here?"

"I… I'm here to p-participate in the chūnin exams, Naruto-kun." Her blush intensified. "I'm on K-Kiba-kun's team."

Naruto froze on the spot. "But that's – I mean, isn't that… uhm, you know, dangerous?" Hinata stared at her feet, unable to speak. Dimly, Naruto noticed Ino shooting him a warning glance.

I should tell her to quit. I should tell her right now, before it's too late.

Naruto opened his mouth to speak. "Hinata-chan… I don't think…" She looked up, her pale eyes full of fear of what he might say next. Everyone was staring at him now. "I mean, what I want to say is…"

She's going to get hurt. She'll die out there, and it'll be your fault. Tell her to quit!

Naruto stuck up his thumb and smiled falteringly. "G-good luck in the exams, Hinata-chan!"

Coward. I am a useless, worthless, spineless coward.

Hinata smiled in surprise and, still flustered, nodded mutely. Suddenly, there was an expulsion of air in the doorway as the exam proctors arrived: It seemed the first round of the exams was about to begin. Naruto saw the head examiner standing in the doorway, and nearly choked.

…You've got to be kidding me.
​

-o-​

There was an exam booklet lying open on the desk in front of Naruto, as well as a note sheet. Both were empty.

The reason they were empty was because there was a man standing in front of Naruto. A man built like a bear, wearing a stark grey uniform with a great black overcoat, and black leather gloves that creaked whenever he flexed his fingers. His face was like a slab of meat that had been savaged by a wild animal. It was the same man who had made Mizuki-sensei scream in abject terror, and weep tears of blood.

It was a man by the name of Morino Ibiki.

Naruto had asked Sakura about him, and she had found out all that she could: It turned out that he had already been head of the Torture and Interrogation unit of the Anbu during the Kyūbi's attack on Konoha. When the head of the Intelligence Division died in the attack, Ibiki had been promoted to that position as well, effectively making him his own master. And because the Uchiha clan had been directing Konoha's police force by virtue of their unique abilities, the Uchiha massacre had left the Anbu as the primary enforcers of the law, which of course needed to be led by somebody...

In the span of a few years, Morino Ibiki had become the sole master of a force of silent assassins that could make anyone disappear into the night, answerable to no one but the Hokage. He had gained more than anyone else from the sins and tragedies of the past. If Naruto had met anyone since reading his father's letter who he thought capable of being behind it all, it was him. And this person had been assigned to coordinate the chūnin exams this year. In fact, he had almost certainly volunteered for it.

Why?

Naruto had not a single answer.

He stared at his exam sheet, the words fading in and out and dancing before his eyes. He had known there might be a written exam, since there had been one last time as well. He had created a set of shadow clones in advance for just such a situation. He had left them at the public Library, ready to read anything he ordered them to and transfer the knowledge directly to his mind.

And it was completely pointless, because Naruto could not even focus long enough to read the first question, let alone figure out a way to create and dispel a shadow clone unseen to contact the others.

He was going to fail the exam without having read even a single question.

He dared a glance upwards. Morino Ibiki was looking directly at him, and smiling.
​

-o-​

Nara Shikamaru stared at the exam instructions. It seemed everyone started with ten points, one for each question. For each failed question a point was subtracted, while being caught cheating cost you two points. The total score for each team was to be summed together, and only the highest scoring teams would be allowed to continue to the next round.

The implications were obvious, if you read between the lines: This was a test that encouraged cheating. Moreover, if you considered that the rankings were relative and that it was unknown how many participants would pass, it made it tempting to try and sabotage the others. Add to that the fact that they were being watched by proctors on every side, fuelling the uncertainty and the tension of the situation… this was truly an exam designed by and for ninjas.

"Inuzuka Kiba! Minus two points," one of the proctors suddenly called out. Kiba let out a low growl in response. It looked like the idiot had tried to send his dog to steal someone's exam papers – as though that could ever work. All around the room inexperienced genin were making clumsy attempts to cheat, before promptly getting caught, while the smarter participants watched and bided their time.

No, sabotaging others was too dangerous: It only improved your ranking compared to that one specific person, and it risked even worse retaliation from anyone worth sabotaging. It looked like the key to passing this exam was to carefully evaluate risk and reward in a situation that simulated a real information-gathering mission, being able to quickly read an unfamiliar situation and of course, cooperating with your teammates without actually speaking.

"Shikamaru," Ino's voice sounded in his head. It looked like she had finally activated her clan's mental technique. "I'm ready. What do you want me to do?"

Start by reading the minds of people in the room that are writing, and copy any answers that you see multiple times, he replied. Once you've answered every question, communicate them to me and Chōji. Then if you have any chakra left, you can start planting false suggestions in the minds of whoever has at least as many questions correct as we do, without alerting them to your presence.

Shikamaru mentally readied his Shadow Imitation technique, black strands of darkness forming under his desk as he prepared to counterattack whoever was foolish enough to try and sabotage his team. The whole test would be a drag if he did not get do at least something interesting, after all.
​

-o-​

A rictus grin was fixed onto Sasuke's face. I see… It seems I can't answer even a single one of these questions. So that's how it is.

If Sasuke could not answer the questions, then it stood to reason that the proctors did not expect them to be answered. Therefore, the exam was meant to test the participant's information-gathering ability in a hostile environment by encouraging them to cheat… or so they would have him believe.

He recalled Hatake Kakashi's words. A ninja must see underneath the underneath, was it?

If he was right, then the true purpose of the test was to give them the opportunity to spy on the techniques of their enemies, giving them vital information in preparation for the coming rounds. Even as he used the Sharingan to copy answers, he kept one eye on his surroundings at all times, reading the flow of his opponents' chakra with perfect clarity as they cast their techniques.

I see… so that Sand Ninja is able to create a third eye out of the sand he carries in the gourd on his back, and he can let it float freely to spy on those around him. I'll need to watch out for that one.
​

-o-​

Sakura was not thinking about any of this; she was having too much fun answering the exam questions.

A determined smile played on her lips, her mind fully focussed on the task at hand. Finally, finally the academy was treating her with the seriousness she deserved. The questions were truly perfectly designed – each of them relevant and challenging in an entirely novel and interesting way.

After checking over her answers for the fourth time, the thought occurred to her that Naruto was probably having some difficulty with the test. After deliberating for a moment, she formed hand seals and cast a genjutsu on him: Genjutsu worked by manipulating the subconscious, but if she could just suggest the form of the correct answers to him… there. That should help the poor guy out a little.

Satisfied that she had made the right decision, she went back to checking her answers for the fifth time. One could never be too careful, after all.
​

-o-​

After forty-five minutes of nerve-wrecking tension, Naruto received a sudden flash of inspiration in which the correct answers to the test were revealed to him. This was made all the more amazing by the fact that he had still not succeeded in reading even a single question. Fifteen minutes of frantic writing later, Naruto put down his pencil and managed to start breathing again.

"Time's up," Morino Ibiki declared. "Anyone who is still writing by the time I finish speaking this sentence is disqualified." All around the room the sound of falling pencils reverberated. The man clacked his fingers. "Applicant number fifty-two: Disqualified." Cries of protest arose and were immediately silenced as the proctors fell upon the girl's team and dragged them out of the room.

Morino Ibiki stood looming over them, both hands in his pockets as he addressed the room. "Anyone who passed this test will understand already, but I will explain it for the dim-witted: This round was meant to test your ability to gather information by encouraging you to cheat. However, there is another shinobi quality that is even more important, which is the ability to follow orders. For the remainder of the exam, anyone who tries to be clever by bending the rules will be disqualified. There will be no fighting without permission of the examiner, and even if permission is granted, killing your opponent will not be tolerated. Furthermore, anyone who breaks Konoha's laws will be held accountable under the full extent of the law – meaning you'll have to deal with me. Am I making myself clear?"

The room was deathly silent.

"Good. You will now go back to the waiting room. You will sit there and do nothing until the results are in. Those that passed this round will then follow Mitarashi Anko to the next stage of the exam – she will continue as examiner at that point and you will obey her as you obey me. The rest of you will leave. Go."

The entire room sat frozen for a moment, and then the area exploded with movement as everyone rushed for the exit all at once. Naruto mixed himself in with the crowd, trying to hide within the press of bodies as he slowly wormed his way towards the door. Almost… almost… nearly there!

Something cold and hard snaked up his leg. He let out a frightened scream as it yanked his leg out from underneath him until he was on his belly and sliding away from the exit, pulled between and past the feet of the other contestants even as his fingernails screeched over the wooden floorboards. The last of the genin fled the room and slammed the door shut behind them, never so much as looking backwards.

"Not you, Uzumaki."

The cold hard thing let go of Naruto's leg and he crawled away in terror. He propped his back against a desk and turned to stare at the disfigured face of the man who might well have killed his father and burned the Village. A long iron chain was slithering its way up the examiner's sleeve before disappearing entirely. "We did not get time to talk the last time we met – how are you holding up?"

Naruto stared at the monstrous man. "What?"

"As Konoha's chief interrogator, I'm well aware of the effect mental trauma can have on a developing mind," Morino Ibiki said, "especially for a sheltered peacetime child such as yourself. I'm asking whether you feel prepared for the remaining rounds of this exam. There is no shame in backing out at the last moment: Being able to pick and choose your battles is an important ninja quality as well."

Naruto found purchase on the desk's edge and pulled himself upward, not trusting his shaking legs to support him. "You don't care how I feel."

The man's scarred lips twisted upwards. "You have no idea what I care about." His expression grew serious again. "I understand that during your one and only dangerous mission, something none of us want to see happen almost came to pass. Now you are about to enter a similarly dangerous situation. Is there any risk of the same thing happening again?"

It took a second for Naruto to realize what he was talking about, and then another to consider how he should reply. "My dad doesn't think so."

"Your father is a pervert and a drunk," the torturer replied. "I'm asking what you think."

"My dad's not-" Naruto cut himself off: The man was not technically wrong. "I mean, I don't think so. That thing only happened because of a very specific set of circumstances." Specifically: Naruto being merely very nearly dead and not totally completely dead. "Of course, it shouldn't even have happened in the first place, so I guess we can't be completely certain…" Maybe calling it off would be a good idea.

"We'll take precautions," said the man. He sat down on one of the examiner's chairs, pulled off his black leather gloves and began rubbing his hands gingerly. They were burned, but not as horribly burned as he had expected. "Those specific circumstances already happened last time, and it turned out well enough. If anything this is the perfect test: With the Anbu standing at the ready and everyone else watching, we'll find out…" He noticed Naruto staring at him. "Am I bothering you?"

"Bother?" Naruto gaped at him. "You torture people."

He half expected the man to deny it, but he merely gave him an annoyed look. "Is that what this is about? You civilians… what do you even think torture is? Do you think it's just a matter of inflicting as much pain as possible on someone until they talk?"

Naruto hesitated, unsure how to respond. It was not as if he had given it much thought.

"Bah." The man pointed at his disfigured face. "Do you think I would look like this if I had been tortured by someone competent? Bloody amateurs had no idea what they were doing." He shook his head. "Real torture isn't about causing pain, boy, it's about fear: Pull a man's teeth out, and he'll curse you until his death, but do the same to his friend while he can just barely make out what's happening…" The man was smiling in full now, and what a smile it was: Naruto could easily imagine red blood running down those teeth after a fresh kill. "I suppose that's why I wanted to master the art: If you're going to do a job, you should do it right. Though, it's nearly all Yamanaka-style mindreading nowadays…"

"But," said Naruto, "but… you torture people."

"Yes, I torture people!" The man waved his burned right hand irately. "Do you think you're the first to bring it up? The Village's clans… all those blessedly noble twits sneer at me behind my back, but do any of them ever volunteer to do my job? No, they're all perfectly happy to keep Papa Ibiki around to curse and hate and fear, but the moment they have someone to interrogate they come knocking at my door. This Village's leadership is nothing but hypocrites, and you're no different, boy." His eyes narrowed, and Naruto shrank back. "Though, at least you have the guts to insult me to my face."

"I wasn't trying to insult you, sir," Naruto said feebly, suddenly questioning his wisdom from before. "I was just… you know, wondering about all the torture you do. Sir."

Ibiki stared at him a moment longer, and then he suddenly burst out laughing. "Hah! You know what? I think I just might be starting to like you, boy." He slapped his knees with his ruined hands as he laughed, which must have hurt him immensely. "Well, off you go then, lad. Interrogation is over."

Naruto half stumbled towards the exit, pausing only when he had reached the door. "Sir," he said, as he half turned around. "About Mizuki-sensei…" He swallowed. "What really happened to him?"

Ibiki smiled, baring his teeth. "I think the second round is about to start. You wouldn't want to disappoint the proctors by being late, would you?"

Naruto turned and ran.​

 

[Obloquy]

Whoa, awesome. Liking this story more and more...

 

[Ashaeron]

Now there's an Ibiki who sounds like he's actually in T&I.

 

[Sophronius]

This just might be the single best chapter of this fic so far (excluding Clone!Kakashi's assault on Gato's tower)

Click to shrink...

Whoa, awesome. Liking this story more and more...

Click to shrink...

And yet, those chapters have only 8 likes each, down from the steady 18 before that. Is it because of the pacing, a lack of originality, or maybe people stopped reading due to the filler... ahhh, interpreting likes is making me paranoid. After all those years of successfully avoiding social media, it's finally managing to ruin my sanity.

Now there's an Ibiki who sounds like he's actually in T&I.

Click to shrink...

Oh man oh man, I love writing Ibiki so much. He's one of those characters that make me wish I could just kill off half of the Naruto cast so I can focus more on developing the awesome ones. Hmmm, not a bad idea, actually....

And yes, part of the inspiration for this scene was how much I hate how soft Ibiki is usually portrayed as being, as if people entirely miss the point of what "torture" means. And now I get to say that I wrote a story with Rational!Torture, which is, uh, fun



Oh, also, I totally forgot to add this little snippet to the author's notes - I originally wanted to show much more of Tobirama's writing on combat tactics, but it didn't work out pacing-wise:

Tobirama's Creed
Hone these things that you will need:
Knowledge, Power, Stamina, Speed.
Beware thine trappings of conceit;
Be you in melee outmatched – retreat!

Hurl your tag to raise their shield
Pierce the guard that it would yield
Sense the foe beneath the field
Chakra flared is truth revealed

One fact surely cannot fail
Forbidden power; widow's wail
Seek out wisdom, break the veil
Only thus may you prevail.

​

And then, having gotten his poetry aspirations out of his system, the entire rest of his dissertation would consist of clearcut instructions written in such a simple way that a five year old could understand them, because Tobirama is not an idiot.

 

[Raviollius]

And yet, those chapters have only 8 likes each, down from the steady 18 before that. Is it because of the pacing, a lack of originality, or maybe people stopped reading due to the filler... ahhh, interpreting likes is making me paranoid. After all those years of successfully avoiding social media, it's finally managing to ruin my sanity.

Click to shrink...

The main reason people avoid this fic like the plague is the "rational" tag. HPMOR aside, many fic writers were inspired by it, most failing miserably in creating a decent story. I confess I almost didn't open it, myself, but I am glad I did.

Trust me when I say the likes are more a sign of popularity than your ability to write. I have a (dead) comedy/SI fic written in half-broken english with 10k words and a surprising amount of likes. Don't lose faith.

And by the way, finish posting your story on SB. The public is very different from here, I feel your fic might end being more popular there.