The Lost (30k Primarch Quest)

[HalfTangible]

XXIX. A Pirate is Free

At first it almost looks like a stone eye, but as you approach and examine the device, you realize it's an perfect sphere covered with geometric lines, too perfect to be anything but artificial. As you pace around it, something brushes against your mind, just as it has on many occasions before when you've called on the storm.

Something feels different about this touch, though. Like it isn't actually in your head in the same way. If pressed, you would say that laying with Delai or shooting lightning from your hands is like standing on the deck of your ship as it cuts through the surf, whereas this device feels more like looking at a painting of a ship.

There is a questioning presence there. Simple-minded, and not insistent, but very basic. It wants to know… something.

"… well, I'm looking for treasure," You muse aloud. "And I guess you're it."

The device glows.

With a clinking sound like a desert scarab, the orb's surface slides open to reveal a series of rotating and alternating glowing rods. The presence against your mind pulses, and with a sudden start you realize you know exactly where the deepest chamber is. The device pulls on your mind, like it's taken your hand and is dragging you through the chambers. And as you look at the device you realize that, while you can't tell what the glowing runes mean, taken together they are showing you a direction.

"Oh," you whisper with sudden realization as you pluck the device off its dais. "You're a compass."

And if so, those runes you can't read must show distance. Perhaps in multiple dimensions? You can't fathom why you'd use that on the ocean, but perhaps this device was meant for mountain navigation… actually, come to think of it, it was probably meant for underground areas like this vault. If it were typical for the builders to create such places a navigational device would be perfect.

You wonder what the limits are. Hard to test something like that in here.

"There's gotta be more cool stuff down here," you muse aloud as you turn to leave the chamber. "Oh, maybe I'll find another ship for the monks!"

There's a sound like the grinding of stone behind you. The plinth you took the compass from begins to sink into the floor.

"… Ah, depths."

You run for the door as the vault's defenses come online.

Runes across the surface of the chamber's walls begin to glow, and you hear a sizzle as your flesh bakes. Your feet blister and your skin cracks. You slam into the already-shut door you'd first come in with your shoulder. The impact hurts you more than the wall. You try to call on the storm, but down here it's so faint… Maybe turning Delai down was a bad idea.

The walls glow brighter, and you get the impression you should've already been dead twice over.

I need a way out of here.

The presence against your mind pulls you away from the door. At first it's merely present, like a low hum, but as your thoughts continue to frantically race, the pull becomes more insistent.

Out of better options you follow the insistent compass. It drags you to the far wall of the chamber, away from both the door and the plinth. It wasn't immediately obvious when you arrived, but now that you stand right next to it, you see a section of the wall that is slightly offset from the others.

The compass pushes insistently towards the offset section. There's a way through, there.

You punch the wall as hard as you can. The obsidian material buckles from your blow. You hit it another four times (cursing your gods-damned barely functioning limbs) until it eventually comes undone and f. Without much concern for where the hole leads, you throw yourself through, and mercifully the pain stop. The humming behind you continues for a few moments more, before fading away into nothing.

For a moment, you lay on the ground, exhausted and in immense pain. You let it take a few moments to go from horrific pain to a dull ache before pulling yourself up from the ground.

You're alive.

You spit, and it bubbles on the ground.

It seems a little convenient that the compass could be used as a tool to escape the trap that holds the compass… but on second thought, most creatures wouldn't have survived long enough in there to make use of such a passage anyway. And if they did, you doubt they would've had the strength to force their way through like you did. Must've been a failsafe in case someone set off the trap by accident. If there was an easier way to open it that would make-

"CHING YOU FUCKING PIRATE!!"

Uh oh.

Virtuous Whim has come down the tunnel you were previously in. With him are Dalnim and Paradise in Labor.

You hide the compass behind your back. Not that you try that hard; Whim is missing his visor, so he can't see it, but Dalnim and Paradise have both seen it already.

But sometimes you do things because they amuse you.

Dalnim is the first to speak, and you're surprised by the fury in her tone. "What the fuck are you doing down here?!"

"Uh, w-what're YOU doing down here?!"

Paradise steps forward. "Preparing to evacuate and seal the vault! Do you have any idea how many alarms you've set off since you came down here?!"

"None!" You say, defensive. "I went around all your alarms!"

"You melted a door off of its hinges and threw it onto the ground in an area we regularly traverse even if we hadn't heard it."

"… okay that's fair. Stealth is for losers anyway."

Whim hits you with his staff.

"Ow! What was that for?!"

"We're going back to the surface before you get all of us killed!"

You fold your arms, scowling. "I don't take orders from you, monk."

"You're putting not only the entire temple AND YOUR CREW BY THE WAY but this entire planet at risk! Do you understand that?!"

"You've told me nothing that would suggest that." You simply place your hands on your hips. "See what ignorance does when you refuse to explain yourself?"

"So, what, you came down here out of spite?" Dalnim raises an eyebrow. "Lotus didn't tell you every secret we hold so you decided to come down here just to make him mad?"

"Don't be silly. I don't risk my live dungeon diving because someone else tells me not to. Hell, half of me wanted to follow your ship up into the stars and I prefer the open sea anyway."

"Then why?!"

"Because I am a pirate," you growl, "and a pirate is free. I wanted to explore your tomb and so I did. That's all there is to it."

For a few moments, no one says anything.

Then Dalnim shuffles her feet, looking between Paradise and Whim. "Well, I mean, the damage has already been done, hasn't it? So what do we do now?"

"We leave." Whim says. "And when we get to the surface we where the hell do you think you're going?!"

"Well, I'm gonna explore deeper," you say, waving a dismissive hand back towards him. "You want anything I find you're gonna have to come with me."

Whim blanches. "I- are you crazy?!"

"Come on, it'll be fun! I'll give you a good split. 20 percent."

"These things are not to be trifled with! You're going to get us all killed!!"

"Fine, 60-40. And I'll do all the fighting."

"This isn't about the treasure!"

"Look, I'm not going below 50/50. And that's generous. I know your temple is on top of this place, but you've already cleared most of it out and I'm putting myself at-"

"Listen to me!" Whim grabs your arm. "This place is cursed and dangerous. Our earliest records of this place have monks disappearing forever down here. The further down you go the less time we've had to find and disable its defenses. If you go any further, sooner or later you will trip another trap!"

"I might," you concede as you calmly (but forcefully) pull his arm off of yours, "but I might also find more cool tech. Come on, you guys like machines, right?"

"Not at the expense of our flesh!"

"Okay. Final offer." You put a finger right in front of his eyes… only to realize he can't see it and poke his nose to make your point clearer. "Two options, your choice. Option 1. We go down together. I will put my flesh at risk to find and disable the traps, and you will make sure none of the tech I might trip will harm more than me."

"And what, pray tell," Whim scowls, "is the option that isn't 'help you steal what rightfully belongs to the Temple in a manner that endangers all of our lives'?"

"One, you don't have first rights claims to anything past the point where you stopped looking. Two, the other options is that you go back up alone and I keep whatever I find." You growl. "Because I'm not walking out of here when there's more treasure to find."

The monks don't follow you immediately. But after glancing between one another for a few moments, they seem to decide that they want the treasure you're going to find for them.

That, or it's better to follow you and try to keep you out of trouble than let you run around and do as you please. Either way.

-

You're deep in the tomb now. Whim has been explaining what he knows of the place. You doubt he's telling you everything, but the broad strokes are probably true. The monks discovered this tomb complex centuries (perhaps even millennia) ago, and built the temple around it to conceal it from strangers.

"Far as we can tell, the security protocols in this place failed so completely that basically everyone counts as authorized personnel now, so long as they don't destroy anything." Whim whispers, glancing about... or rather, turning his head to listen better. "At least for the simpler machines. Some of the more complex creatures still attack if they find you, though it seems to be instinctive. Like an animal, perhaps. And there were also a few skeletal machine-men at the entrance, once; they were where the large door is now."

You look at the compass, musing to yourself. In retrospect, it wouldn't make much sense for a compass to be placed into a trap if the compass could then be used to find one's way out of it. The failed security protocols angle seems plausible.

"What are they, then?" You ask. "I've never heard of anything like this in Tabgach's history."

"Very surprising," Dalnim nods, smirking. "Pirates are well known for being historians, after all."

You playfully smack her shoulder. "You know what I mean.

Dalnim giggles.

"Most of the monks think they're the Men of Iron." Whim says.

You raise an eyebrow. "… is that supposed to mean anything to me?"

"Lotus told you that in ancient myth, technology rebelled against and tried to destroy us, yes? The men of iron were sentient machines that turned on us." Paradise in Labor explains. "Could be completely wrong, of course, but a group of humanoid robots hiding beneath a human world with technology as advanced as this? It's possible."

"What're the symbols all over the place then?"

Whim shrugs. "We don't know. Probably the language of whatever built this place."

"You said 'most of the monks'." You note. "There's disagreement?"

"Some, like Whim, feel the answer is unsatisfactory."

Whim shrugs. "It's not a terrible explanation, but… I don't know. None of the technology we've found in this place was within the STC, and we've seen nothing like it elsewhere. And the men we found had proportions and shapes entirely off from the human baseline."

"Perhaps they sought to differentiate themselves from us?" Paradise suggested.

"Possible." Whim nods, though he doesn't look entirely sure. "That still doesn't explain why none of their technology can be found in the STC."

"Perhaps we lost all the technology they have by pure happenstance?" Paradise smirks.

Whim snorts. "It seems more likely to me that this place is a tomb to an ancient civilization."

"Tomb robbin', eh?" You grin.

Whim turns his scowl to you. "I will not be disparaged for 'robbin' from the dead and gone by a gods-damned pirate."

"It wasn't meant to disparage you, mate…" You trail off frown at the area around you, as you realize something about the configuration and setup of the 'tomb'.

You've been following a singular path this entire time. Branching pathways exist off of the main corridor, but they've only ever lead to singular rooms. That seems odd for a few reasons.

For one thing, if this was a tomb that was meant to keep graverobbers out, then surely there would be several branching paths, meant to keep anyone from going too deep. For another, the first thing any miner with the ability to breathe would do after getting so deep below ground would be to build a secondary shaft out for air in case of cave-ins.

Unless, of course, you wanted to leave whatever was inside with little means to escape.

"I thought it was a tomb as well," you mutter, "but then where are the bodies?"

Whim shrugs. "We've never found anything organic. Just machines. Arachnids, mostly, with the occasional serpentine creature or mechanical avian."

"Avian? Like a robot bird?" You grin. "I want one."

"The serpentine machines can also phase through walls."

"One of each!"

"Tell you what," Whim says dryly, rolling his eyes. "You tame it, you keep it."

Unfortunately you do not run into android snake monsters, robot spiders, or even a single mechanical parrot.

This tomb deserves to get robbed.

-

You reach the deepest chamber, and with strength this place definitely wasn't designed to handle, you slowly force the doors open. As you and the monks look over the chamber's configuration, the suspicion you've had for a long time finally clicks together in your head.

"Seems I was consummately wrong twice." You mutter. "That's a new feeling."

Dalnim glances at you. "What about?" She asks, though you ignore her.

This isn't a tomb, though it does indeed look like one. This is a prison. But not just a prison; there are a number of well-armored and elegantly designed metal warriors with ornate weaponry lining the walls, deactivated and held in a shimmering blue field of energy, but arranged in a procession.

This place is a prison, but it's a prison for someone important. Someone that the builders of this place couldn't simply lock in a dark hole somewhere.

Whim was right. The proportions for the creatures are completely off. The skull especially is too long and narrow

"If this is the honor guard," you mutter, as you turn to look at the main sarcophagus, "what does that make you?"

The metallic creature is at the top of a long set of steps, in a small alcove set into the wall. Its proportions are utterly inhuman, just as the creatures in the walls are, but the ribcage and thin, spindly fingers give the unmistakable impression of a skeleton. And though you are not a forger of automata yourself, even you cannot help but admire the craftsmanship. The metal is smooth, almost but not quite organic in appearance, and it is decorated with gold detailing.

And atop its head rests an intricately ornate hat, embossed in gold and silvers. Though it is shaped like a classic tricorne, the overall impression is closer to that of a crown.

You grin wide. "I'm taking that."

"No!" Whim yells, the loudest he's been since you came down this far, as he runs up to the base of the stairs, possible man of iron forgotten. "ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

"Absolutely will." You grin, reaching a hand out.

"Gods dammit we already agreed I will get you a hat!"

"Will it look as gaudy as this one?"

"Do you want it to look gaudy?!"

"Yeah."

"Then yes!!"

"With a big feather!"

"YES WHATEVER GET DOWN FROM THERE BEFORE YOU GET US ALL KILLED!"

You keep your hand held out for just long enough to see Whim sweat, then chuckle and pull your hands back. "Got you to yell~"

Whim's fear is slowly melting into shock. Paradise looks ready to bash your skull in.

And Dalnim scowls. "You deceived us into believing absconding with the headgear was your intention, didn't you?"

You snort as you turn to head back down the steps. "Oh come off it, I was messing with you. If anything was going to be trapped, it'd be the treasures on the main subject of this tomb. Let's go find-"

THOOOM

You and the monks freeze as the entire chamber pulses around you. With a second loud pulse, lines of green energy flow through sigils and grooves on the walls, all concentrating on the central plinth you were pretending you were gonna rob. And with a shudder that echoes with finality, the field around the skeletal form dies. The chamber it's in begins to glow, and green light begins to pulse within its chest.

Paradise grabs Dalnim, and the two dash for the door. Whim is close behind them.

"…… oh well, in for a copper." You say as you quickly rush up to the no-longer in stasis machine. You snatch the hat off of the creature's head and flip it back onto yours with a flourish.

Its eyes suddenly flare bright green, and after a brief moment it turns its head to face you. It looks at you with an expressionless face that somehow still communicates disdain and disgust. Time slows to a crawl as neither of you act for a few brief moments.

"… I'm not giving it ba-"

It slams you back with its staff and you crash to the ground below, pain shooting through every bone, muscle and tendon.

It gestures to its guard, and the creatures rise as one before turning to face you. They advance, and their weapons crackle with energy.

"What pests are these?!" The creature's mechanized voice is filled with a level of disgust you can barely fathom. "That I should suffer the indignity of imprisonment is not punishment enough, but I must contend with apes traipsing about my resting place as well?!"

"Sun-Sin!" Dalnim shouts from the door, and you realize that she and Paradise have been sealed outside by a new energy field. Whim is on the inside with you. The blind monk holds his staff at the ready as he's approached by several of the mechanical honor guard.

You pull yourself to your feet.

You might have fucked up.

-

Voting

You're at the bottom of a tomb. You're badly injured, you can't call on the storm properly, and there is now a skeleton robot that is referring to you as vermin. All you've got are a compass, three nerd monks, a normal sword, and the robot's cool hat. Meanwhile he has several machine warriors you know nothing about, its own capabilities you also can't fathom, and a much greater familiarity with the technology of this place.

What do you do?

ETA: Midway through the vote it occurred to me that a plan format might work better than what I was doing. I'll leave the old vote suggestions here for posterity but please do a plan format. For those who have already voted: I'll look at all the votes, plan or not.

Spoiler

[] – Ask the compass
-[] – Ask it what?

[] – Try to talk the robot down
-[] – What do you say?

[] – Fight it
-[] This is a good plan!

[] - RUN

[] – Write in (Something crazy!)

Suggested by @gale
[] – Try to talk the robot down
-[] – Greetings Honored Noble of a Forgotten Race, we explorers searching for a way to save ourselves from the god machines that currently lie above your resting place. Forgive us for the entrance we thought all who once lived here lay dead.

Suggested by @SpacePaladin
[] – Write in (Something crazy!)
-[] distract it with inane chatter.
--[] "How are you speaking our language? Aren't you a bunch of alien robots from, like, a million years ago?"

Suggested by @*name*
[] Plan: ONE PIECE
-[] – Try to talk the robot down
--[] – What do you say?: "wait, your not a dead body?"
--[] – What do you say?: " never mind, JOIN MY CREW! No blue energy field means you can leave right? always wanted a talking Skeleton, think of the skull jokes."
-[] – Write in (Something crazy!): if there's a fight. "borrow" a glowing weapon form one of the Guards.
--[] also what does the Hat do? it seemed important so lets mess around with it.
-[] – Fight it
--[] This is a good plan!: we don't know how far the leader can travel but it said it was Imprisoned , so goal is to "Borrow" a weapon from the guards, they seem fancy and dangerous, and fight our way out, hopefully they can't follow.

Suggested by @w34v3r
[x] – Ask the compass
-[x] – Ask it what?
--[x] Where do I kick them to make them curl up in pain?

 

[HalfTangible]

XXX. Prison Escape

The machine pauses, then speaks with barely discernible confusion. "By my chronometer I am several thousand years too early. Hrm. I expected to be at least 100,000 late. Well, if my awakening is at the proper time, then so much the better."

You clear your throat. "Wait, you're not dead?"

The machine turns its head to look at you for the first time.

"It speaks?" The machine sounds genuinely shocked, like discovering a waterfall that flows uphill.

"…. how come I can tell what you're saying?" Before it can answer you shake your head. "Nevermind, I don't care! I want you to join my crew."

Dalnim, Whim and Paradise have identical expressions of shock mixed with confusion. That's impressive synchronization, you'll have to ask how they coordinated that without looking. The machine might well feel exactly the same, but it says nothing so you can't tell.

"… come on, it'll be fun!" You say, grinning broadly. "Think of all the bone puns we can make! And the metal jokes! Which reminds me, by any chance are you a musicia-"

A staff slams into your gut, and you double over at the sheer force of it. Another cracks across your back, and you fall to the ground. You roll over and start to pull yourself up, only to find two of the honor guard pointing their glowing weapons straight at your face.

"… right," you say, trying to hide how taken aback you are. "So, is that a no, Mr… Thaszar?"

"Bah." It waves a dismissive skeletal hand. "I suppose primitive slaves are better than nothing until we can regain our ship and crew. Bow to me and I might spare you until then. My translation matrix, at the very least, seems up to date, so you can follow orders. Begin by polishing my feet."

"Uh, nah, see, I'm captain," you say, voice low and boiling. "And I was offering you a spot on my crew. You'd be my subordinate."

"… You expect a noble of the Necron Dynasties to be beneath you?" The machine gives a low and dark chuckle. "That would be insulting were it not so amusing."

"Hey a minute ago you didn't know humans could talk."

"The ability to speak does not make you intelligent. Even the lowest and measliest of our tombs have stood for millions of years, and they will stand for millions more when your existence is not even dust on solar winds." The machine growls. "Why should Thaszar the Invincible tolerate your miserable mewling presence? In exile I might be, but I remain a noble of the Sarnehk Dynasty. To serve such menial, lesser creatures is an insult to not only I and all of my great dynasty but to every last one of the Necron."

"I set you free," you snap. "You owe me for that, at least."

"I do not owe you anything. You have broken into my resting place, and most likely destroyed my Canoptek guardians. You came to pilfer what is mine, and released me by mere fluke. The only reason you yet breathe is that I find your struggles to save yourself amusing."

"Struggles?" you ask, blinking with confusion. "But I haven't started fighting you yet. Specifically so we could talk this out."

The machine does not move for a full ten seconds, and you begin to wonder if it broke down before it speaks again.

"… you think… you are capable of escape?"

That might have been a mistake to say.

"So what does the hat do anyway?" you quickly ask, but Thaszar is already ignoring your brilliant attempt to change the subject.

"The subsentient no longer amuses me. Kill it."

You throw yourself to the side as the honor guard's bladed staff comes down where your neck was mere moments ago. You leap back and to your feet just in time as green beams of energy strike the ground where you just were.

The machines advance on you, two staying back and firing more of the strange beams as another three advance on you, striking with their staves with machine precision.

You slam your palms into the chests of the machines, cracking the metal like ripe fruit, and throwing them at the shooting ones. The broken machines lay in a pile of scrap, and for a moment you want to laugh. For a supposed noble's royal guard that was shockingly easy.

"Well?" You laugh, as you turn back to the leader, only to realize it has opened some kind of interface based purely in emerald light. You can't read any of it but as the creature's head and hands twitch and move you see the symbols shift, move and change.

"Security protocol are... 86% nonfunctional?" It muses, ignoring you. "Strange. Though if that is the worst I must experience it is a minor inconvenience and little else. They should have left me some kind of vessel, even if not my flagship…"

You frown. "Hey, tall metal and gruesome, I killed your guys. So you coming or not?"

The machine turns its head to look at you. "Why is this idiot primitive filth still making noise?"

The implications of its question take a half second to sink in, but that half second is all they need. Something slams into your back with the force of a lightning strike, and you're bowled over onto the ground.

The machines you broke, somehow standing like new, are right over you.

"SUN!" Dalnim screams.

"Kill them, too," The machine snarls. "The noises they make infuriate me."

You try to pull to your feet, but your body has already endured so much… the Sarnehk honor guard have already raised their weapons and point them at you.

Several moments pass, and yet nothing happens.

Whim breathes a sigh of relief, his own glowing staff extended. "Didn't think that would work. Come on!"

"…Is that my Cryptek's staff?" Thaszar's full, undivided attention is on Whim now as the emerald interface disappears. "You will return it to me, thieving scum."

"Are you kidding me?!" Whim yells. "He's the one with your hat!"

You're too badly injured and desperate to think about how funny that is. Instead, with a blur of motion and a surge of adrenaline you grab one of the machine's inert weapons and rip it out of its metallic hands. The honor guard turns to strike you but you smash its head off and towards the ceiling.

The metal in its severed neck is writhing. You don't know if it can repair from that again, but you don't plan to find out. You kick the creature so hard it smashes against the wall and comes apart like a poorly-made anatomy diagram. For a moment you dare to hope you've done enough, but as the head falls to the ground you can see glowing light in its eyes.

What the fuck are these things?!

"Come on, hurry!" Whim whistles to you from the door. Dalnim is cursing as she looks over her orb and begins hitting it hard applying percussive maintenance. Paradise has his gloves full keeping another one of the guardians back.

"RUN!" You yell.

"Not till you're-" Dalnim begins.

"If this is a prison then it's going to stop them from leaving!" You yell, smashing another guardian aside. "Run! I'll be right behind you!"

Whim and Dalnim hesitate only a moment more before taking off. Paradise rips off one of the automaton's heads and then throws it through the air to you. "Thanks!" you yell, before chucking it at Thaszar with the force of a cannonball.

The head bounces off of… something, some kind of barrier, and then flies away.

"The primitives of this world are so predictable," Thaszar growls, "And so boring."

You're still holding one of the guardian's weapons, and you rush for the skeleton robot. As you hope, the machines realize their master is under threat and immediately turn to defend him, rushing after you with a speed a skeleton robot should not have.

You swing the weapon down and the noble catches it in one clawed hand.

"You dare to strike me not once, but twice?!" Thaszar snarls. "I am Thaszar the Invincible of the noble-!"

You headbutt it.

That was a bad idea and you know it instantly from the ringing in your head.

The machine's annoyance has turned to genuine anger. "… oh just die already."

"You aren't capable of killing me!" You snarl, releasing the staff weapon and drawing your sword to slice at its ribcage. Your blade is stopped by the same barrier, and this close you can see the glowing green hexagrams that hold back even your mighty blows… though with some satisfaction you see it bend inward.

"Oh?" The machine chuckles, and in an instant it has its own blade in hand. It swipes almost casually, and you leap back before it can connect with you or your own weapon. The machine raises a claw, and for a moment you think it's about to try and placate you, before a green energy blast flies from the palm. It's too fast to dodge, you try anyway-

And with a loud crack, you're no longer in front of the noble, but by the door.

You don't have time to think about what just happened, so you don't. You turn and rush out with unmatched speed.

They don't follow you out, but you hear Thaszar's low chuckle.

-

The monks have made it most of the way out by the time you catch up to them. Dalnim is heaving from exertion. Paradise is clutching his side. Whim is the only one who seems like he could keep going.

"Were they chasing you?" He asks, without preamble.

"I don't think so," You say, slamming your fist into the wall next to you. "They might be confined to that main chamber for now, but they were talking about leaving."

Whim folds his arms. "So, what now?"

"You're not gonna tell me off?"

"Later, when we're not all about to die!"

"Fair enough."

"Hypothesis: perhaps time yet remains for you to join his crew?"

"I threw one of his guard's heads at him."

Dalnim sighs and pinches her nose. "That is a definitive negatory."

"He said whoever locked them up had to have left some conveyance off-world," You point out. "I'm guessing that's that ship you have up there."

Paradise in Labor blinks. "That… I don't think the ship can leave atmo?"

"Maybe he can make it leave atmo," Whim says. "Or there's something on the world it needs to claim with it. Either way if that monster wants it, it's a potential bargaining chip."

You blanch. "What, seriously? You think something we can barely even fight needs to get even more of what it wants?!"

"We have enough knowledge of the ship's weapons to render them inoperable," Whim says. "If it gets the ship it may very well decide we're not worth the effort."

Dalnim shakes her head. "Or it may elect to decimate a city or two."

"It's a bit of a gamble," Whim admits, "But it didn't seem to hate us, it was just annoyed that apes were in its tomb. It thought us primitive graverobbers and may decide it has better things to do than hunt down a bunch of animals."

He holds up the staff. "And if I relinquish this as well he loses all reason to come after us."

You're not sure you like the idea of trying to appease the robot, but it's an idea on the table at least.

"Why remove reason to harm others when you can remove the potential?" Paradise asks, demonstrating a remarkable talent for making overcomplicated platitudes sound nice. "I say we collapse the tomb on top of them before they reach the surface."

You turn your eyes to Paradise in Labor, raising a brow. Paradise has never struck you as the sort to enjoy such things up until this point, but there's a bit of a glint in his violet eyes now as he cracks his knuckles. "I got the impression the tomb's structure was nigh invulnerable."

"The main structure essentially is, and will be here when the sun burns out," Paradise agrees, "but it's buried beneath the ground. We can collapse the entire tunnel and bring the earth down on top of the tomb, burying the machines."

"Seems to me they'd just dig their way out."

"It would buy us time. We cannot simply let the tomb remain as it is, surely?" Paradise asks. "If we do then the creature will escape unhindered and simply do as it wills. That's as good as helping it escape."

"What if we leave the tomb for the nobles attacking us to find?"

All three of the monks turn to face you, and you realize the idea came from your lips.

"You can't be serious," Paradise in Labor says, though even in his baffled tone you can hear the intrigue in his voice.

"Listen," you say, looking between the three monks. "Those machines can't possibly take on a full lance, but they're resilient enough that the Knights might just decide to cut and run. Or failing that, they'll destroy these things before they become a real threat to anyone."

"You want us to leave it up to someone else?" Dalnim asks, raising an eyebrow.

Why did she have to put it like that? It makes your blood boil.

"I prefer to think of it as turning misfortune into an opportunity."

"The temple is connected to the port," Paradise muses, rubbing his chin. "But if we collapse the tunnels once we're through…"

Whim sighs. "If we do that, then we're relying on the judgement of nobles and whatever monks decided to break neutrality."

Shit, that's true too.

"I don't suppose you can direct me to a good plan that gets us everything we want with no risk?" You ask, glancing at the orb in your hand.

The compass doesn't react.

"Dammit."

Dalnim sighs. "If only optimal solutions were so simplistic."

"Sometimes you don't have a good plan," Whim shrugs, "And you make do with the circumstances you've got."

You don't like his answer, but everything hurts and you're not thinking clearly. He might be right.

"Did you at least find out what the hat is for?" Whim asks, a strained smile crossing his face. "I don't suppose it's got a 'kill all the necrons' button?"

You shrug. "Teleportation or something I think? I dunno. We can look at it later."

"Hypothesis," Dalnim says suddenly. "If this place is a prison, then perhaps there is an emergency alert we can trigger to keep them from leaving. A lockdown protocol."

"The machine was expecting to wake up eventually and figured he'd be able to leave without an issue," Whim points out, "Security protocols have largely been disabled, as proven by the fact we can use their weapons. And if his personal guards will not stop him from leaving perhaps this place is simply meant to be a temporary holding cell."

"We have no way of knowing the conditions for his imprisonment. He may very well be confident in his ability to escape, rather than that the tomb will let him leave. And as for the rest…" Dalnim holds up her orb. "This can, perhaps, restore the security protocols as it restores circuitry. We will lose the tomb, and possibly all the technology from it, but…"

"… but under the circumstances such may prove necessary," Whim nods, and so does Paradise.

You fold your arms. "If the security works as we think it does. Which is a big IF."

Dalnim nods. "True. But it is an option."

You don't have long to make a decision.

---

Voting

Nobody's plan is great, each has their own potential merits and drawbacks. But you have a moment to pick them apart and potentially come up with something better.

What do you do?

[] – Run and leave it for the nobles to find

You were planning to evacuate anyway. Get as many people out as you can, let the Empress' knights fight it out with the skeleton robots. Best case scenario they wipe each other out.

[] – Offer the ship to the machine

Whim's suggested that if the machine gets what it wants, it will simply not consider humans important enough to bother with anymore. So disable the weapons and let Thaszar have his ship. He may well decide repairing them isn't worth the effort to kill some random apes and fly away. Alternatively, it might simply wave a hand, fix the cannons and fire a shot or two before flying away.

[] – Find and re-engage the security protocols

Dalnim has suggested that you try to find and re-activate security so that the Necron will be contained. It relies a great deal on whether or not the machine is supposed to be able to leave when it wants, and the strength of the security protocols that the monks haven't yet dismantled, but if you do and it works, then the machines will be contained for a time.

[] – Blow the temple up

Paradise in Labor suggested the direct solution is the best: blow it all up. The tomb will still exist, but it will be re-buried and the machines will need time to properly escape.

[] – Ask the compass
-[] – What for?

'Point me to a good plan' didn't work but maybe there's something else it can lead you to…

[] – Write in

You've got three tech monks and a primarch here, surely one of them has a better idea than what's been suggested?

Suggested by @SpacePaladin
[] – Offer the ship to the machine
-[] Rig it to explode.

This will probably flatten whatever anything within a few hundred km.

Suggested by @SpacePaladin
[] – Write in
-[] We saved Bel's people and the Spooky Scary Skeletons talk about being around for a long assed time. Maybe the Aeldari have had experience with these types and moreover have ideas on how to dispose of a tomb.

(You could try and use the compass to find the Aeldari. It might work, it might not)

Suggested by @Best Cat
[] Find and re-engage the security protocols
-[] Use the Compass for guidance
-[] Be ready to blow the place up as you leave in the eventuality that the security is not enough, giving you time to flee by burying it.

Suggested by @*name*
[] – Ask the compass
-[] – What for?: hey is there any cool weapon or item or cool alien device just lying around on planet unclaimed (or on someone to steal from)? If some basic guard weapon can indent the *noble* skeleton's barrier, imagine what the good stuff can do in your hands. Maybe get a barrier for yourself? Tell me we're to teleport and yoink something helpful, only one, as I want to teleport back and have enough energy to assassinate the jerk with the new weapon/tool.

Suggested by @*name*
[] – Write in: does the security have a lethal option to kill off some xenos? does the ship have weapons that can harm them? How about the cryptech staff, can we use it to control or disable their tech? Here's an idea, we rigg the security to cull some numbers, we get on the ship, and hide up in the atmosphere, and active any stealth the ship have. Watch as the knights cull some of the surviving forces. Maybe help them by shutting off one or two of the skelly's toys when it looks like a knight hit them hard (make it infrequent so head bone Boi isn't suspicious). And when the fights over, start using any weapons the ship has to gank the survivors, use hat to "nothing this is personal, kid" the big boss of the victor.

Suggested by @AsuraAtlas
[] Find and re-engage the security protocols
-[] Use the Compass for guidance


Suggested by @Alayne
[] Find and re-engage the security protocols
-[] Use the Compass for guidance
-[] Be ready to blow the place up as you leave in the eventuality that the security is not enough, giving you time to flee by burying it.

 

[HalfTangible]

Spoiler: Winning vote

[X] – Find and re-engage the security protocols
-[X] Use the Compass for guidance
-[X] Be ready to blow the place up as you leave in the eventuality that the security is not enough, giving you time to flee by burying it.

XXXI. To be better

"Okay," you say, rubbing your temples. Gods, but you have a splitting headache right now. "So do you already know how to re-enable the security?"

Dalnim nods. "We had to disable it in the first place. Well, most of it; we couldn't take the risk of disabling everything as you saw."

"Then you and I will go handle that-" you glance to Paradise and Whim "-while you two go get the tunnels rigged to blow."

Whim blinks with surprise and apprehension. "You want us to bury you with-"

"Of course not!" you snap. "But if this doesn't work we'll need a backup plan. And if I'm with her I can get her out faster."

The monks glance between each other, then Whim nods. "Alright. We don't have time to argue. Go."

"Whim, Paradise," You say, and all three monks freeze. "Do not hesitate. If we fail or they get to the surface, count on us to find our own way out and blow them to hell. Or more than the two of us will die."

Whim seems shocked, but after a moment he recovers. "Do not make it necessary, friend."

Paradise and Dalnim both nod, and though the latter looks ready to throw up, they quickly move.

-

The monk runs as quickly as she can, and you lightly jog to keep up with her (you're very tall). The featureless obsidian material of the tomb would've left you quite disoriented were you alone (and mortal). Your headache isn't helping matters, nor is the fact that even with the monk running as fast as she can, she's still painfully slow.

She doesn't slow down until you arrive, and she quickly goes to work at the consoles, catching her breath only now when she has the opportunity. You don't know enough about technology – least of all the cogitators Dalnim is working with – to fully understand what she's doing, but it seems little different from sorcery. She's moving quickly from machine to machine, coaxing a few back to life with her orb and tapping at others. Occasionally giving one a good kick. Lights flicker from screen to screen, glowing in a sickening sea green only slightly off from the bright emerald that the necrons use.

The silence in the room is only broken by the humming of the machines. At least, at first. You wait by the door to the chamber, gun in hand, sighting down the corridor at about the necron's height. Part of you is unsure you'd succeed even with a perfect shot, but you squash that feeling down.

"……. You said that you wanted to bring some of the monks along, right?"

You nod, keeping your pistol in hand and looking out of the room. "I'd love to have you along. Maybe you and Ping could discuss Knight configurations."

"That'd be nice, I suppose. Don't know if I could stomach the pirate life, though." She said, wistful. "… I'd hoped to be fully ordained before I died, at least." The lay-sister mutters, tapping the controls before her with the kind of fervor one only sees in the desperate.

"Hey," you smile, "Ain't no law that says you gotta come. What do you really want?"

"What do you mean? To learn the mysteries of the machine." She didn't stop working. "Is that not enough of a reason?"

"You asked the question, but you already know the answer," you say, double checking your gun is loaded. "Say you learn everything there is to know about machines. What will you do then? Just sit on the knowledge?"

"I-" Dalnim's tone is hesitant even as her fingers keep moving. "No, of course not. That would be a waste."

"Teach, then?"

She frowns, but doesn't stop working. The humming of the various cogitators is almost hypnotic at this point. You pulled out your compass, curiosity getting the better of you.

Where is Thaszar?

The compass pulls on your mind; Thaszar's on his way up and getting closer. He's not moving terribly quickly, at least as far as you can tell. This compass surely can't track everyone, can it? That would be absurd.

Where is Eun?

The compass seems confused by the question and asks for clarification.

Hrm. Maybe it only tracks Thaszar? … no, that's equally absurd, if it was only meant to do that there'd be no reason to point to anything else. Only people who have seen it or touched it, perhaps? That's also possible. You'll have to ask one of the monks to look it over.

"I don't know."

You glance back at her. "Hm?"

"I don't know what I want," She admits. "Even if I learn everything there is to know about the machine, it would be secondhand knowledge. I might then pass it on to someone else; like you said, become a teacher. It is a noble cause, I know that, but…"

"… but it's not something you care for," You finish.

She shakes her head. "The pilgrimage, the trip I went on with Whim and Labor? The one where I earn my name? It's supposed to show us how primitive the outside is, to make us understand how important our preservation and machine restoration is to be."

"Didn't it?"

"Yes. We travelled far and visited many peoples and places in need of help. I fixed wells, put homes together, repaired a knight's vox network, even attended a noble wedding. It was dull work, but important. And the purpose for our neutrality was clear: I could not take sides, or else I would cut too many off from the help they needed."

"And then we were captured by the slavers. They pretended to be looking for repairs, and… and…" She shivers a bit. "I… I don't like thinking about that part. But we were taken into the storm."

… Ah.

"And?"

She hesitates, pausing at her work for a moment. "…In that storm, our knowledge meant little. Our wisdom even less. Whim didn't seem concerned for his own life, but for mine and Paradise in Labor's. Labor was furious that so many were dying for nothing, and I…"

She stopped working entirely there, and mumbled. "All I ever wanted was adequacy. I didn't care for greatness or ignominy. So long as good was done, that was enough for me. But then I realized just how… how pointless my entire life had been up to that point. I'd die before I got the chance to so much as have a proper name, let alone do anything worthwhile."

"Keep on the machines." You remind her.

"It's calibrating, give it a moment. And then you came, and…"

"… you're not about to confess your love for me, are you?"

She snorts as she begins typing again. "Nothing so pedestrian. I just… I was excited. Grateful, even. This was a part of the world that did not need maintenance. You may not realize it, captain, but you exude greatness wherever you go. Even your act of criminality was something beyond me. Beyond any of us."

"I saw not a thing that needed maintenance, but a way the world could be made better. And I… I guess the Cloister lost its luster. I don't know."

Well, you are pretty awesome. You were only half serious about the confession of love.

"Adequate wasn't enough anymore?" You prompt.

"… I suppose not." She admits. "It's part of what was frustrating about your raid. Like Whim said, you could've been doing so much more."

You shrug. "I guess I could have. But – at least for now - I'm content to sail with my crew."

Thaszar's movements cease at the same moment Dalnim speaks again.

"Bypasses removed," Dalnim says, standing up. "Secuity protocols re-engaged."

You breath a heavy sigh, stashing the compass in one of your coat pockets. The solution you'd found was temporary, but it seemed to be working for the moment. But if this was some cushy prison meant for a noble, it wouldn't last forever.

"So," you say, "now we leave?"

The tech monk is silent.

"… Dalnim?"

She turns to you, eyes haunted. "You thought we were leaving?"

"… Well yeah," You grin. "Which way we going?"

"… Sun-Sin, to keep them from getting out, I had to lock down everything." She said, voice low and melancholy. "There's no way out of here."

You stare at her, as the implications of what she's saying sink in.

"You were going to sacrifice us?"

Dalnim looks away, shame in her eyes. "I thought you understood. I'm sorry, captain, but my life is a price worth paying. This planet will be safe, even if only for a time. I only regret that you're coming down with me… and now that I realize you didn't choose it, that too."

There's a moment of quiet contemplation. You stare at her, this mortal woman who would've died alone if it meant keeping her planet safe another day. Someone who wanted more but would've given it up.

You put your hand her shoulder. "You're a brave girl, Dalnim. It'd be an honor to have you on the sea with me."

She smiles. "That would've been nice. Do you think that Ping boy would have-"

"So let's go."

Her smile dies. "Excuse me?"

"We're going," You say, descisive. "I don't care what Whim or Labor or Lotus says, you're coming onto the sea with us. You're not dying without at least doing some pillaging. That's pirate 101!"

"But- tha-" She stammered. "Did you not hear me? I locked the place back up."

You look down at the compass in your hand. "Hey compass, what's the fastest way out of this place, avoiding security protocols that I can't dodge?"

The compass spins in place for a moment and eventually sputters in disgust. It can't find anything.

"… Hm. Okay. How about… a way to a tool that will help me get out of here?"

There's a pause, as the compass seems to process your request. Then, hesitantly, it turns and points downward. Away from Thaszar.

You grin.

You pick up the lay-sister and lay her over your shoulder, facing backward.

"W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" The girl yelps.

You grin wide, and start running. As you do, you hear loud scuttling sounds all around you, and the unmistakable rising THRUM of machines powering themselves back on. "Scream if something dangerous is behind us!"

She screams a lot.

-

Voting

The compass knows a way out that you and Dalnim don't, and you're gonna Indiana Jones this shit.

How and where do you come out?

[] – Into the sea below

As it turns out, millennia of shifting dirt and rock have created a natural cavern that runs from the hill you're in to the sea. You and Dalnim make it through, and though she gets a bit of the bends, you'll both live. With absolutely no negative repercussions.

Wait, whose ship is that? … not one of yours. Shit.

[] – Portal

Thaszar, as it turns out, had an idea of his own on how to escape: some kind of gate or portal. You don't know where it leads or how it works, but you throw yourself and Dalnim through anyway. What's it going to do, put you inside another deadly tomb on a hill that's about to explode?

Well no, but you do run into your favorite space elf again.

[] – The village below

Although the tomb initially seemed to only have one way in or out, you're able to find a passage that leads to the village by the sea. You make it to the village, and thereby make your way to safety and find your crew.

Including a very pissed off Caihong.

[] – Write in

A/N: Not super happy with this one but I did start the next update already and I think I can move forward from here. Side note, I'm also working on my personal novella project at the same time, but that's just about done.

Suggested by @*name*
[] – Write in: you don't actually remember how you got out, but you have a feeling that nothing can go wron-BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! ... ~okay~ it seems you have misspoken. (KHORNE daemons/cultists)

[] – Write in: you don't actually remember how you on this ship, but you have a feeling that nothing can go wron-WAAAAAGGGH! ... ~okay~ it seems you have misspoken. (FREEBOOTA orks)

[] – Write in: green lights? check. greyish black metal? check. pretty sure you somehow got into another tomb...somehow. this time lets not wake up the skeleton here. you also have a compass to lead you around without waking anyone up or trigger any traps. (Grave robbing 2 electric boogaloo)

[] – Write in: Glub Blub Glub... at least their was somewhere to breath (Underwater Cave)

[] – Write in: ...you think you got teleported, cause everyone around you is in fancy clothing and staring at you. and the guards are heading your direction (Capital/Palace)

[] – Write in: ...don't know how but it might be due to some familiar faces; On one hand, there's more of them than last time and they seem to be more confident. On the other hand, you can't beat the shit out of them without getting closer (Khankos & Dark Eldar/Drukhari Kabal)

Suggested by @SpacePaladin
[] - Write in: An opulent palace headed by a familiar face. After your last rejection, you are no doubt as happy to see her as she is you. (Delai's sanctum)

 

[HalfTangible]

XXXII. The Home Stretch

Spoiler: Winning Vote

Portal

You jump, lunge, dodge and at one point even roll (throwing and catching Dalnim in the process) your way through the maze of corridors, the lances of emerald light and tiny scarabs all around simply not able to catch you. Those that get ahead, you punch or vault over, laughing all the while.

Dalnim lays over your shoulder like a pile of cordwood as you run, and while she initially can't stop screaming, you soon figure out how to tell the difference between a 'this is terrifying' scream and a 'oh shit it's coming right for us' scream. Either way it's hurting your ears but at least you can tell when enemies are coming. A mechanical spider about as long as you are tall wanders around the next bend as lasers fly past your head that doesn't seem to realize you're there until you've leapt past it, slamming your fist down as you go.

"IT'S STILL COMING!!" Dalnim screams.

Of course it is. You bring up your gun and fire without slowing down or checking. It probably didn't work anyway.

Lances of light fly from the walls, machines begin to hum and glow with life, and you rush past all of them, compass guiding your every step.

As you run, you see a sudden flare of shadow, and skeleton men in ornate armor step forth from it. You crash through the first of them, metal bits flying all around you (you also toss and catch Dalnim, triggering louder screams). You expect to be shot from behind as you go, but the strange robots only walk.

Rude. At least take potshots.

Finally your compass points straight into a flat, featureless wall you had completely ignored your first time through. You hold the compass up, dodging green laser shots in place and trying to determine how to open the wall. The compass glows for a few moments, and with a loud click the wall slides open. You see a large semi-circular frame in the center of a room just barely large enough to hold it. The alien archway is made not of the strange black stone of most of the structure, but of the silvery living metal of the Necrons you've encountered previously.

For whatever reason, the room doesn't appear to be active and isn't shooting at you, though the door slams shut behind you immediately upon entry. You make your way over to the frame, frowning.

The compass insistently tugs you towards the frame, and though you hesitate, you do ultimately move forward. The compass hasn't lead you astray so far and while you're not sure what exactly it's pulling you towards, you're certain this is your best chance to escape. The compass hums and haws for a few more moments until, with a jolt, the portal comes to life and the emerald energy you've come to associate with the necrons begins to swirl.

You don't have time to consider the implications as you throw yourself into the newly swirling doorway.

-



Messages sent between Magos Interiot of the Legiones Astartes vessel Dying of the Light, and Captain Domitianus Willhelm of the same vessel.

+++ Damage Report +++

To the good Captain Willhelm of the Dying of the Light

Warp-squalls forced an emergency transition to real-space.

There was a breach in the Gellar field on deck 12 that has resulted in 8% loss of essential crew, 14% non-essential across the entire ship (voiding deck 12 likely saved the vessel, thank you lord). The machine-spirit writhes in agony and the physical vessel has sustained serious damage.

With the utmost respect, captain, the machine spirit of this vessel requires time to calm, and the body of the vessel has sustained serious damage. We have material to repair most of it, but the warp core's stability is now in question, and I cannot in good conscience recommend rentry. I understand the Legiones Astartes are loathe to cease crusade, but for the moment I would recommend a pause while we attempt to restore full functionality to the warp core.

In the meantime, we appear to be in a stable system. There appears to be human life on the 5th planet in the system. Though I am uncertain, it appears to be both oceanic and possess a technological level consistent with a Knightworld. (similar scans were found at Intertius and Collia)

Attached you will find results from our passive scans, potential threat assesments and all information I could find on this world.

Magos Intertiot.



+++ Acknowledged +++



To Magos Intertiot

Pass my thanks to the enginseers for our deliverance.

The Iron Hands understand duty, and the skill of the Mechanicum. They will pause as long as the recommendation comes from you.

So please, send your recommendation directly to Chapter Master Orion, because he will not listen to me.

I have passed word along to the Choir to inform the main fleet of the delay. Perform what active scans you can without potentially alerting anyone on the world to our presence in orbit. Our guns work well enough. Inform the quartermaster of what you need as well. The fleet will not wait for us forever.

Navigator Aske informs me that the currents of the warp are strangely quiet here, and she believes they will remain so. So you have some time, but please do not delay more than you must.

Make sure the warp core is stable, and then check the Gellar field.

Captain Domitianus Willhelm



-

You go through the doorway, tumbling over yourself and dropping your tech monk friend. The ground is hard as steel, yet warm like flesh. You groan as you pull yourself to your feet, shaking the spots out of your eyes. "Dalnim?" you ask. "Still breathing?"

A cough answers you.

"Good," You groan, pulling yourself to your feet. "Another happy landing."

Dalnim groans. "My legs hurt…"

You grab Dalnim and pick her up, giving her legs a brief glance. Bleeding. But they don't look broken.

"We'll find somewhere to bind you up," you say, looking around. The area you've found yourself in seems to be a tunnel, made of a material you know you've seen before but can't quite place. It's organic, almost like bone, but you can see that it's moving. Too slowly to tell what exactly it's doing, at least at first, but its movements quickly accelerate, and you quickly see why.

The gate you just entered through sticks out of the wall like an open sore, without even the metal frames that held its light. You see the bone sliding over the newly made hole, and as it does, you see the walls are closing in as well.

"Oh that ain't good." You groan. Going back isn't an option, so you dive deeper into the tunnel, moving faster than you ever have before.

Sudden pain shoots through your limbs, and with a yelp you fall to the ground, your injuries catching up to you. You swear like the sailor you are for a few moments, trying and failing to stand, but after a few moments of not dying you realize that wherever you are seems safe, at least relatively. You glance behind you only to see a solid wall of the organic bone material, where a moment ago you and Dalnim were running. You get the distinct impression that staying would've killed you both.

"Sun?!" She yells, concerned despite falling in pain.

"I'm fine!" You lie quickly. "Just… need a moment. But it looks like we're safe for the moment. Nothing's shooting at us."

And yet, despite being safe, now that you have a moment to consider and take in your surroundings, you feel the storm all around you. Dark clouds that have followed and circled around you all your life are just past these arterial walls, and even within the tunnel you feel something pressing against you. Just at the edges of your hearing there's the sound of the waves, in a place where none should be. Disconcertingly, they remind you of Delai's beach, and you think you see her face in your mind, if only for a moment.

You stand and brush dust off your coat, and her image with it. You don't know where you are, but you'll be glad to be rid of it.

"Mon'keigh!!"

You turn, pistol in hand, to see tall and slender beings in sleek black and bone armor... the same material that's in the walls. And on each of them, you see the same sorts of stones that you collected from the cult in the storm. You realize where you've seen the material on the walls before.

"Belathala." You say immediately. "I know Belathala."

Their weapons stay up but at least they aren't firing. Yet. The moments stretch on, until the moment stops feeling like you're being held up and more like the most awkward standoff in human history. Dalnim, unfortunately, seems to be terrified from start to finish even as you get bored and try to hold back a yawn.

Gods you hope that they understood you. Or that they're as friendly with her as you are.

It's hard to judge the acoustics of these strange and winding tunnels, but you hear the repeating SMACK of bone against bone as several somethings run towards you (or one something with like a dozen feet). As Bel turns the corner, you see that she's with a half dozen or so of her people in similar garb to the others.

"You're late," You smirk.

"You're early," Bel says dryly. "And your jokes are still bad."

You shrug. "Can't tell good jokes if you don't tell a bunch of bad ones first. Any chance you know where we are?"

"The webway." She says, standing a little straighter as she says the name.

"Okay. Any chance you know a path back home and would be willing to guide us there?"

She sighs. "I was planning to anyway when you made it here. This place is not for mortal ken."

Dalnim glances between you and the space elf, completely confused. "I… do you know each other?"

"Ah of course. Dalnim, this is Belathala of the Aeldari. Belathala, this is a lay-sister of the tech monks. She doesn't have a name."

Dalnim scowls. "You did that on purpose!"

"Probably."

"… right." Bel raises an eyebrow at you. "… To be quite honest I wasn't sure you knew my name. You never used it."

"Of course I knew," You grin. "And now when I call you Bel for the rest of the trip you'll know I'm doing it on purpose."

She scowls. "Stay downwind from me."

"Well that's just mean," You grumble

"Is there even wind in here?" Dalnim asks one of the soldiers. He backs away from her.

-

Voting

Bel is willing to take you back to your own world, though where you get spit out is its own question.

[] – Shang

Your home port, where mother has her fleet and many of your fellow pirates make port. You'll have quick access to reinforcements.

[] – Back at the temple

You find yourself in the town beneath the temple you just left. Your crew is nearby.

[] – The Empress' Palace

You emerge in the forbidden palace of Tabgach's empress. You'll be in the home of your enemy.

[] – Write in

From @Negation
[] – The Command Post of the Imperial Forces assaulting the Temple
(note: this is Tabgach imperial, not IOM imperial)

From @SpacePaladin
[X] – Write in
-[x] The Rebel stronghold

 

[HalfTangible]

XXXIII. Hopeless

There are few things in your life – possibly all of existence – that have been more awkward than walking with the Aeldari. For one thing they clearly don't like looking at you, but also try to keep a close eye on you, a balancing act that somehow manages to be more annoying than if they'd just held you at gunpoint the whole way. Like you can't tell that they're expecting treachery at every step.

Part of you wants to mess with them in turn, but with Dalnim walking a few steps behind, you decide against it. Mocking and teasing your friend is one thing, but no one needs to get more trigger happy.

Especially since you're certain you can hear something beyond the bone walls. The rumble of a beast swimming through the sea. Cannon blasts, heard from underwater. The mournful song of a dying whale. Laughter. Choral music-

"Ignore them," Bel says suddenly. "They cannot reach us so long as the walls hold."

"They?" you ask, your hand falling to your sword. Something tells you it would be completely ineffective, but it brings you comfort anyway.

"They," She says, her tone suggesting she just confirmed anything even though you're still confused.

Delai looks around at the walls. "So, what is this place? I remember we went through some kind of gate. Are we still there?"

"This is the webway. You do not know the words to describe it, but think of it as… tunnels, beneath the skin of reality. Beyond these walls is the Immaterium." Bel glanced back at Delai. "Do not attempt to breach the walls. You will only hurt yourself."

"Is that because of 'they' out there, or because the wall is too hard for us to dig through?"

"Both." She growls as if it were obvious. "Is it not enough to know digging into wraithbone is foolish beyond compare?!"

Wraithbone. You make a mental note of the term. "It is for me. Dalnim is a bit more curious."

"I do not wish to hear that from someone who dug into an ancient alien tomb because he was bored."

Bel sighs as she rubs her temples. "Mon'keigh…"

"I hope that means 'men'." Dalnim mutters.

"You wish. At the very least it explains why you are here," Bel mutters. "The Necron have many abilities some consider unnatural. Including but not limited to penetrating the webway. Albeit momentarily, in this case."

"Oh?" you tilt your head. "And are you always here?"

Bel shakes her head. "We were waiting for you."

"Why?"

"Our people need what you will bring."

"What I bring?"

"Salvation through destruction."

You stare blankly at her. "It's kind of amazing how little sense that made and how little it answered the question."

She scowls, still doggedly leading you through the tunnels. "That is as plain as I can be. The point is that you will save many Eldar. Far more than you kill."

"… more than I kill," you say. "implies that I'm going to kill. And from your tone, it'd be a lot."

"Yes." She says, impatient. "But it has purpose."

Well that's… you're not sure how to feel about that. Bel seems to have accepted already that you're going to kill a lot of her kind, even if more of them will survive. And it rubs against you to a surprising degree. You have no reason to care about the lives of some random Aeldari you've never met; hells, maybe you'd get lucky and only get the spiky ones. Everybody'd win there.

"So, what's the end goal then? Just the species surviving?"

She glances back at you, and for a moment, you see the weight behind her eyes. She is exhausted. Not like someone who's worked hard or gone without sleep, but like she has all but forgotten what it's like to rest. In those eyes you see more pain and sorrow than you believed any creature capable of.

And then it's gone.

"Survival isn't the goal, it is the dream." She sighs. "In the end, without miracle upon miracle upon miracle, we will perish. At best it will be a long and slow death, taking a million years before the last of my kind draws their final breath. At worst, we will not last two millennia. Even if we do we will never rise to the heights we once had."

Millennia sounds like a decent chunk of time to you, but you see the unease both in her steps and in the other Eldar. It's subtle – they have a tighter control over their emotions than any humans you've encountered – but it's undeniable. And in retrospect, two millennia to the end of your species is probably heavy no matter how long you live.

"So, what can you do about it then?" You ask.

"Simple," she says, regaining her confident stride. "We find a path loaded with miracle upon miracle upon miracle. And the first step," she turned to look at him, "is saving you."

"… Me?" you point to yourself. "From what? The Necrons?"

"And more. More than you could ever know," She says quietly.

"Killing off some of your own so that others survive doesn't sound like a popular move to make."

"… I am alone in this," she admits. "Few among my kind – and fewer still among the Seers – believe working with the mon'keigh is a good long-term strategy. But these warriors will heed me."

You frown and glance at the other armored warriors, trying to be subtle about weighing your chances if they all try for your head.

"One of our gates is held as a…" Bel hisses through her teeth. "Trophy, among your people's nobility. We will guide you there."

You stop suddenly. Though you gave no indication of it, Bel stops at the same moment you do.

"Wait." You feel your blood boiling. "What about my crew?"

"What about them?" She asks.

"The tomb. If it's waking up-"

"If the tomb were waking up you'd need to worry about the entire planet, not a mere few dozen humans." She says bluntly.

Dalnim has taken to poking and prodding at one of the Aeldari warriors. His expressionless helmet somehow conveys more disgust than his normal face would have.

"Even were I concerned for their safety, and rest assured I am not, we cannot return to them directly in any case."

"Then where, exactly, are we going?" You snap.

Bel shrugs without answering, and the sight infuriates you.

"You don't bloody know?!"

"Your cities all look like the same stone huts to me!" She yells. "Your species has no architectural skill AT ALL!!"

Dalnim scowls. "You're the moon-kai."

Bel rolls her eyes but doesn't respond.

-

When you emerge from the tunnels, you find yourself in a dark room, filled with glass cases holding everything from old maps to glowing tablets. It takes you a few moments to fully take in your surroundings, but you eventually realize that you're in an opulent museum, or perhaps someone's treasure room.

"… well it's better than weird space tunnels. Thanks, B-" you begin, before realizing she's already gone. "Huh. Fast little buggers."

Dalnim exhales with audible awe. "Incredible…"

You don't personally see it, but you can believe it. Half of the objects in the room look like they were pulled directly out of a tech monk monastery, with all sorts of bits and buttons and display cases. There's some kind of vambrace at the far end of the room with a large display panel and several smaller dials, though for what you're unsure. There's a metal tube about the size of a pen with a transparent green bulb at the end. And a number of other treasures besides, most of which you don't recognize and doubt you'd have any real use for anyway. Maybe some curiosities for the Tech Monks, but nothing you'd want for yourself… at least, not until you spot the sword.

The blade is formed from a near void black material run through with depressed, slightly emerald lines. The blade is in the vaguely curved shape of a scimitar, and though you know it rests on the pedestal without vibration, you cannot shake the feeling that it is in near-constant motion. You didn't have any real examples of it before today, but you're pretty sure it's Necron tech.

You reach out to the sword for a moment, before pausing. You were just in a tomb where everything nearly blew up in your face because your fingers got grubby. Perhaps…

… Eh, you already broke into the place and wrecked their stuff, in for a penny. You pluck it off its display case.

… And nothing happens.

"… Huh." You mutter, looking the large blade over approvingly. "Guess whoever runs this place has shit security."

As if on cue, the door opens behind you, and you turn and hide the sword behind your back. You're almost ready to start a poorly-conceived comedy routine just for the fun of it, but the moment your eyes land on the entrant you stand stock-still.

One of the forbidden city's noblewomen staggers into what she probably thought was an abandoned room, once-immaculate scarlet dress ruffled, torn and entirely out of order. It's covered in wet splotches that you assume come from the bottle in her hand, and as she pulls it back again you see more splash all over her.

The woman pauses, then glances at you, eyes bleary for a moment, then grumbles and takes a swig from her bottle before going into a corner. "Idun care. Whats one mo' servant tha hates me…"

You've seen women drunk. You've seen men drunk. You've seen men and women get so drunk that the people around them get tipsy from the smell of their sweat.

But more than that, you've seen different ways to get drunk. You drink to celebrate. Some drink to mourn, others to forget. This woman is drinking sake like she's hoping it will drown her. Which is about as bad as it gets in your experience.

"Din't used to be like this," the woman rasps as she pulls her bottle back, sake staining her dress. "Used to b'respected. But nah, ain't nothin' in this place anymore. Nobles and their stupid war and their idiot pride and…"

You are trying not to look conspicuous carrying your stolen sword, even though in all likelihood she's too drunk to see anything.

"Mebbe they should jus… just fokkin blow everyfing up!" She yells suddenly, throwing the sake bottle against the wall.

"… Blow everything up, milady?" you ask hesitantly.

"Wha? Nah, that'd be stoopid." The woman laughs, waving her hand in a direction she probably thinks was towards you. "Tha dumb big ol machine fing… cain't even do nothin' anyhows. Dunno why the tech loverhs are all worried. Them and their… tech…"

Dalnim blinks and looks at you, eyebrow raised, before looking back at the lady. "Um, ma'am, if I might ask-"

"The impress is a dumb fokkin shitbrain wit… wit no soul!!" The woman yells, trying and failing to keep herself from sobbing. "She makes a buncha bad shit deals and all wez can do is watch it go on. Prob'ly killed her dad and fucked him, too! Stupid bitch, hope she drowns in… in a bucket o… whale… who da fok are you two? Y'stay outta my stash!"

She passes out and starts snoring.

You look at Dalnim. She looks at you.

"Okay so we're definitely in the empress' palace, right?"

"Most likely."

"Which mans we are surrounded by guards who want me dead for being a pirate, who want you dead for being part of the 'wrong temple', and both of us dead because we're intruding, stole their cool sword, and/or saw a noblewoman who hates the Empress drinking herself into a stupor.

"Yes."

You pick up the noblelady. "If anyone asks, we're taking her back to her chambers after a night of drinking too much and passing out."

"Agreed."

"And if anyone shoots at us we use her as a human shield until we can take her out to sea."

"Is that truly necessary?" She asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Trust me, she'll thank us later, and if not we can just ransom her back," You muse. "Now, we need to get back to your temple as soon as possible. So let's find us a ship."

-

Voting!

You're in the Empress' palace. You do not actually know the layout of the place – few do – so you get a bit lost on the way to find transport out. Where do you end up?

[] – The docking chamber for the Staff of the Azure Sky

The largest and most powerful Knight on all of Tabgach, the Staff is a true wonder of technology and machinery. Unfortunately, it's launching, which means you are going to have to fight another one. But surely it can't be that difficult, right?

[] – The chamber of the lords, in a meeting about the civil war

In a bit more of a hurry than you'd intended, you burst into the middle of a room full of noblemen and women, carrying one of their own unconscious on your shoulder. Surely they will hear your completely reasonable explanation of walking through a tunnel in space and finding an unconscious woman on the floor!

[] – The chapel

You find your way into a chapel just as a nobleman's wedding is ending. This wouldn't have been all that bad if the noblewoman on your shoulder hadn't woken up and assumed the worst possible outcome (she thinks you're trying to wed her).

[] - A ritual to summon Delai

A group of noblemen/cultists are summoning a demon. One you're already familiar with, in fact. (thank you, *name*, for the idea)

[] – Write in

Suggested by @w34v3r
[] – Write in
-[] The Imperial chocolate stash.
You know from spending time with mother that ruling even rational well adjusted pirates is stressful and draining. The empress has got to have entire rooms of the good stuff you can abscond with given that she has to deal with freaking nobles all the times

Suggested by @AnotherPerson
[] - A seemingly-abandoned meeting room. Unfortunately, it turns out it's still occupied, with an ongoing negotiation between some important-looking nobles and...are those more Drukhari?

[] - The middle of a banquet hall, in which several nobles are celebrating news of a 'great victory' over the rebels. Perhaps a bit too much. They're drunk, think you're someone with ties to the Empress, and insist on you staying for the entire party.

Suggested by @SpacePaladin
[] – Write in
-[] The Imperial Harem.
The rulers of Tabgach have had long traditions of maintaining large harems to service them. The actual reality of said harems is often lost amid the many tales of intrigue, bawdy songs and claims of pirates who had snuck in to ravish underserviced concubines. On the other hand, coming here you might find that truth is stranger than fiction.

Suggested by @*name* (yes, all of these)
[] Write in: even if you have no use for them, Steal the items anyways, cause PIRATE. you could just ask the very suggestable shoulder hostage what each thing is and what they do

[] – Write in: the armory? nice, you might take a "heavy" weapon or two for a hand weapon. and a guard outfit . . hope you can find one that fits you (probably steals an Ogryn outfit)

[] – Write in: the medical wing holds many strange substances & concoctions, you can probably find something here to help you out. from actual medical tools and equipment to poisons, venoms and drugs, there's got to be something to steal Borrow

[] – Write in: the Imperial menagerie contains many fantastic creatures, from those that where found planet side but some specimens of creatures that can from the heavens long ago; some of them have collars that seem to block psychic powers (Xeno Zoo, with the rare species from distant planets moved here before the long night.) oh there's an Ork there, and an orange monkey, a . . . human? why is there a human in a zoo? a school fish swimming in the air, a bird that is controlling the elements, a dog that teleports, a mutating humanoid creature thing that has many mouths, eyes and limbs, everchanging . . . pretty sure they're a girl and now she's staring at you . . . awkward

[] – Write in: the kitchen, maybe you can pretend to be a new chef here? maybe sneak a bi

[] – Write in: the Library, steal books & Scrolls, maybe read some secrets hidden away from everyone else, there's a chance we can find some "Forbidden Knowledge"

[] – Write in: you somehow actually found your way to the noble lady's changer/bedroom, and no one actually questioned you . . . these guards are shit, but anyways you might as well lock the doors and start looking around for her stuff.

 

[HalfTangible]

XXXIV. The Imperial Harem

Spoiler

Do I really need to say what won?
I won't lie, I'm nervous to see if people like what I came up with for 'stranger than fiction'.

Of course, just because you declared that you'd find a ship as soon as possible doesn't mean you do. You have never been in this place before and thus have no idea at all where you're going. Your compass doesn't seem to know where the docks are, but when you ask for the way back to the Temple of Perpetual Devotion, it gives you a new direction as good as any other.

Perhaps it only knows the way to things you've encountered before? No, that can't be it, you'd never been in Thaszar's throne room before. Perhaps only Necron stuff?

Lead me to Dalnim, you ask the compass.

The compass points right me to her, but you also feel annoyance.

Just testing.

Maybe Necron stuff or things you've encountered before?

"You there! Tech monk!"

Oy vey.

A man in guard's armor runs up to you both, guandao at the ready. "What are you doing with that woman?!"

"There is no need for concern, sir." Dalnim says, with the practiced composed ease one would expect from a monk in good standing. "We were inspecting certain technological wonders in the chamber back there and are simply taking this woman back to her bedchambers to rest. It seems she took too liberally of sake."

"Our lady has not yet arrived to the council of lords, and I'm afraid we simply cannot begin without-" The guard gasps. "HER! You… YOU KIDNAPPED HER!!"

What.

You glance at the woman on your shoulder, groggily muttering something about potatoes. Then you glance at Dalnim, who is white as a sheet.

WHAT?!

"But she's a tech monk." You say, trying to buy a second with feigned stupidity.

"THE ONE OVER YOUR SHOULDER YOU IDIOT!" The guard drew his blade. "Her bedchambers are not even in this direction, this is the way to the docks!! You were going to kidnap our noble lady!! For your misbegotten noble scum, no doubt, for you are surely a spy planted in the court to steal her from us! And worse, you carry her on your shoulder unconscious! Have you NO REGARD for honor?! None for the RIGHTFUL RULE of our DIVINE EMPRESS?!"

Dalnim holds up her hands. "We found her drunk out of her mind!"

"Do you think me so FOOLISH as to think she would get drunk RIGHT BEFORE such an IMPORTANT AND CRITICAL meeting that could potentially spell the end of Tabgach itself?! Clearly you drugged her with your immense inhibition-denying drugs and now you're going to take her to the docks, kidnap her and ransom her back to the court after performing unspeakably defiling acts upon her body and soul!"

"Now, hold on," you say, holding up a hand and stepping back from the overly wordy and imaginative palace guard. "There could be a perfectly reasonable and legitimate explanation for why she was drinking before an important meeting, and thus explain why I am carrying an unconscious noblewoman on my shoulder towards the docks during a very important meeting she's absent for."

The guard raises an eyebrow. "… well… is there?"

"Well, you see-" Dalnim begins.

In one motion you grab Dalnim, throw her onto your other shoulder, turn around, and run.

To his credit you don't make it out of his sight line before he starts screaming.

-

You don't know the palace or its corridors, so you duck and dodge and jump in essentially random directions, avoiding anything that sounds like armored guards running and yelling.

Eventually, during one of the few instances where you duck into a dark corner and aren't running around like a maniac, Dalnim takes a moment to make sure the guards aren't in earshot and hisses "What did you do that for? Now the entire palace is on alert!"

"There's no way anyone would believe we were heading towards the docks by complete coincidence and you don't actually have an answer as to why this random noblewoman was drinking herself into a stupor and ranting about the Empress."

"I could've made something up!"

"Couldn't you have just fought your way out? Even with both of us on your shoulders?"

You consider that for a moment. "I mean, probably, unless Knights were mobilized. But this seemed more fun."

The noblewoman groans and grips her head. "Wha… what did I do last… mmm, muscles…" she mumbles before falling limp again.

You poke her cheek a couple dozen times before she groans again. "Waadayawa…"

"Look, we need somewhere we can lay low for a while." You hiss to the drunk. "Do you have a private room or something?"

She grumbles and points in what you hope isn't a random direction.

"How long, exactly, are we going to 'lay low' from an entire palace on high alert?"

"It's better than wandering around at complete random, isn't it?"

"Not really?"

The noblewoman grumbles. "Head hurts…" she glances up blearily.

"Any chance you can help us find somewhere to lay low for a bit?" You hiss.

"Servant's hall is… Attaway…" she mumbles, pointing. "fokkin newby… opossum… door's inna wall…" she falls back asleep and gods dammit she's snoring HOW!!

You groan and head in the direction she's pointing. Well, at the very least, a secret door shouldn't be hard to open, just hard to find. For someone other than him, anyway; it doesn't take long before you find a crevice in the wall that you quickly open and follow. Dalnim is just behind you, and the two of you eventually reach another hidden door, this one coming out behind… a waterfall?

You find yourself in a palatial garden of sorts, or at least it appears like one at first glance. There are beautiful flowers all around, and a luxurious seating area. You see miniature waterfalls that cascade down, forming rainbows in the air. There's birds chirping, but your ears catch the subtle scratching of vox speakers; it's subtle enough that most people wouldn't hear it, unless they were looking for it. Or if they were you, of course.

Dalnim stares. "How in the depths did you find this place?"

You shake your head. "Don't look at me, she pointed to the door."

You have never seen it before, of course, but who hasn't heard at least one bawdy song about the Imperial harem?

Ping is going to be pissed he missed this.

The woman approaching you wears a revealing blue dress that clings to her form like a second skin. Voluminous blonde hair cascades around her shoulders, flawless skin, perfectly applied make-up… this a woman who is beautiful, knows it, and fully uses it. Her smile to you is calculated, but not insincere: she likes what she sees, and shows it at the right moment to light a fire in a man's belly. She's keeping herself at an angle, letting you see her best side. It's perfectly calculated and you can't take your eyes off it.

"Well well, who is this that's so bold?" The woman purrs, and the promise in her voice sends tingles down your spine, but when she speaks again it's with shock. "Wait, is that Ning?!"

You glance at the groggy woman on your shoulder, then back to the woman in blue. "Who does it look like?"

"Oh dear, this shit again…" She sighs and shakes her head, beckoning to you both. "Come, set her down on the couch here. We'll have to keep this quiet."

A regular, huh? Odd, given she seemed to hate the Empress.

"I am called Bao." Bao nods. "Thank you for bringing her back to us. She's unfortunately grown quite prone to drinking, especially with all the stress of the war."

"Ah. Yeah, she was barely standing up when we found her."

She glances at your back, and to your mild surprise she doesn't seem worried about the sword. "Up to her old tricks I see. Hope you plan on putting that back."

You see no reason to correct her, so you shrug. "It's got a good weight to it. Might need it."

That raises her eyebrows instantly. "I… see."

You blink when a pair of handsome men come in, one shirtless and one in a sharp tang suit. The sharp-dressed man takes a seat next to the unconscious Ning, petting her hair. She stirs and groans, grasping her head in what you can only see as a hangover for a few moments, before giving a contented sigh.

You blink as you see something like steam come out of her skin, hissing like a released steam valve. "Did he just… massage the sake out of her?"

Bao shrugs. "Honestly we have a lot of strange folk here in the harem, but that one just confuses me."

"I thought the male and female halves of the harem were kept in separate chambers."

"Normally yes, but this central chamber is for casual meetings and allows both groups." The woman shakes her head. "Partly so we might gather and meet during downtime, partly for those whose tastes run both ways. The male concubines like you are in the opposite chambers from ours, across the way."

"Ex-fucking-CUSE you?!"

She blinks. "Did I make a false assumption?"

You open your mouth to tell the concubine off for assuming you were one of them… and then reconsider, your mind running at speeds no human could ever manage. You need somewhere to lay low for a bit anyway, and if you give up the opportunity to infiltrate the Imperial Harem Ping will never forgive you.

You cough. "Sorry, this is a uh… recent career change and not my first option. If you catch my drift."

"Ah." Bao shakes her head, a pitying look in her eyes. "Well. The pay is decent. And believe me when I say you will find the Empress a wonderful and considerate mistress. Assuming, of course, your tastes run towards women?" She subtly eyes you up, and you get the distinct impression she's hoping the answer is 'yes'.

Kill me now.

"They do, but what if they didn't?"

She shrugs. "Then she'd only loan you out to good men you'd enjoy. We make sure of that here."

Dalnim does not grin wickedly or waggle her eyebrows like Maia would, if anything she looks distracted. You don't think she's drooling as she stares at the shirtless man but it wouldn't surprise you. Apparently the Empress likes 'em big and muscular, because both of those men are at least seven feet tall and seem to be constantly sweating.

In fact, it's the first time in your life you've ever felt only slightly taller than average. If you do ever decide to have children, you hope you have daughters. You wouldn't know what to do with sons that big.

Gods, you've been gone less than a day and you already miss your crew.

"I'm glad to know," you say instead, and your grin turns mischievous as you think of something. "And on behalf of my lady, would you allow Miss Dalnim here to experience the palace's legendary massages?"

Dalnim's head whips around to you, mouth agape.

"… we do not have 'legendary massages'," Bao tilts her head. "Did she actually offer Dalnim such a thing, or are you saying this because you find the idea of a tech monk being flustered amusing?"

You pause to consider, then say, "Can't it be both?"

Bao smirks. "Just wanted to be sure." She claps twice and calls out towards the male's side of the compound. "Boys! The legendary massage service for our guest!!"

Dalnim has chosen these critical moments to imitate a fish, her lips opening and closing soundlessly. She looks at you, her skin as red as a sunburnt tomato. "Uh, Sun-"

"Aw, she's just shy." You wave, grinning wickedly. "Have fun~"

"That's not the problem! We need to-" She begins before one of the men takes her hand. "Get-" She begins before looking directly at him. In an instant her face turns red as a tomato and she stops talking.

"Is there an issue, madam?" The man asks after a moment, in a voice smoother than silk. You wonder if that's training or genetics. Probably a bit of both.

Dalnim says and does nothing for long enough that the man starts to look uncomfortable before she shakes her head.

"Tha…" she stammers. "I can keep my clothes on, right?"

"If that's what you need to be comfortable." The man gives her a charming smile, and she flushes. "Come, dear. Tech must be such a difficult job… We'll help you relax."

He takes her hand, and Dalnim lets herself be lead away like a puppy. You almost get up to help her, but they aren't being forceful and she isn't pulling away.

"I thought tech monks had oaths against this kind of thing," Bao admits, glancing at you.

You shrug. "She's a lay sister. She hasn't taken any oaths yet."

"The nameless ones?" Bao raises an eyebrow. "And yet you know her name."

You glance at her. "Is that a problem?"

"Merely interesting." She muses, taking a drag of her pipe. "Any for you, sir? As a welcome."

"Normally I'd jump at the chance for your ladies' lovely company, but-" You shake your head. "-I'll have to pass on this occasion. For… reasons."

She grins wickedly. "After sending your friend for a massage you're going to deny company of your own 'just cuz'?"

You hesitate, then say, "Well, I guess I could chat-"

She whistles. "Girls~!"

It is at that moment that you notice a gaggle of beautiful young women in various states of dress ranging from a rather sharp kimono to diaphanous silks that cover little. At Bao's urging, several come forward, and you realize this next hour or two will be the most awkward of your entire life.

Caihong will keelhaul you when she finds out what you were doing while she was potentially fighting for her life, Eun might cry (and that almost hurts), Ping is going to kill you for not bringing him along, and Mom… will either laugh like a maniac, ask for details, or give you a thumbs up and ask when she's getting grandkids.

You're not sure which would be worse.

-

"-but honestly he was kind of boring in bed," Mei finishes, fanning herself with prehensile hair and grumbling. "Not bad, necessarily, but… eh I'd seen it before, ya know? His brother wasn't much better, but at least he was fit."

Chatting with the Empress' concubines is somehow even more awkward than talking to the Eldar. You do not want to know how the Empress' servants are in bed, nor what the concubines like (you memorize it anyway because Ping is definitely going to ask). Half of them clearly want to sleep with you (you've politely turned them down so far, just 'enjoying their company') and most think you're one of them.

You've heard more bawdy songs about the harem than your mother would approve of, and all of them mention the beauty of their women (and men), often a damsel seeking rescue from a boring life and/or the touch of a ravishing pirate. Of the four women that have come to surround you, not even one is less than drop-dead gorgeous in their own way: tall and willowy Uta, the thick hourglass of Bao, even a short stack in Aki.

The tales do not exaggerate; if anything, the truth of the matter is even stranger.

Mei, for example, has long luxurious hair that moves of its own volition, calmly wrapping around your arm with a silken touch you're sure drives normal men wild. One of her eyes is darker than the blackest void, and the other sparkles with starlight.

Bao is the most ordinary of the bunch; she has not stopped smoking since you arrived, but you smell no tobacco or marijuana. When you ask she avoids the question, merely calling it a relaxant. (Her job is, after all, very stressful).

Then there's Uta, with a slender dancer's build. Every line out of her mouth sounds like she's singing a love song, and the melody tickles you from head to toe. For whatever reason, she has deigned to dance rather than join you and your new friends on the couch, her eyes always on you as she moves through what you're pretty sure is a one-woman ballet (or at least you think so; you're not familiar with dance). Her grace is exceptional for a mortal woman.

Aki wears a backless dress, and when she sits on the opposite side from Mei you see she has long golden chains hanging from the flesh of her back like chains waiting for a prisoner. The sight of gold digging into flesh is alarming at first, but Bao pulls one out and hands it to you. Another begins slowly growing in its place, and if anything Aki seems to enjoy the removal.

"I can cry diamonds, too," She purrs, pressing herself against you. "But you won't make me cry, will you?"

"Only happy tears," You give her a charming smile that makes her giggle again.

You glance at Dalnim in the corner. At some point she lost her robe and now wears a bathrobe that leaves much of her legs exposed. She's blushing and giggling as she chats with two men; her masseuses, apparently. And she is not shy with her hands, nor do they seem intent on stopping her.

You smirk. And you were almost worried.

Still, there's tension in her. She's keeping it from the men, but it's pretty evident to your superhuman eye that she's not fully enjoying herself. It's not that they're a problem, persay, more that her mind is elsewhere.

To be fair, so is yours. But until the palace drops its high alert, you're both stuck here.

"I've heard tales of the harem since I was young," you say, running fingers through Mei's hair. "I admit, I thought I would've been limited to the Empress' company."

"You picked a good time to join up, honestly." Bao shrugs. "The Empress calls on the men far more often than the women. I don't mind, of course, I'm not getting any younger, but such is the nature of the work."

Aki pouts. "Don't say it like that, we're still popular. The Empress keeps us busy."

"Of course, of course," Bao says, waving a dismissive hand, "And the pay is good, I'm just saying, our new friend here – Sun, wasn't it? – will have no shortage of time with our Empress. Look forward to it, my boy, your sons and daughters might well rule this planet one day."

Ning mumbles from her position on the couch, as a seventh concubine (this one a man with skin that shifts colors like a rainbow) rubs her temples. While the alcohol is apparently working its way out of her system, she has yet to stir to full consciousness since being put down, and you're glad for it.

You turn back to Bao. "So, I've been meaning to ask… Ning."

Bao smirks at you. "What about her? Need some pointers on what she likes? I'll warn you now, you'll wish you'd never asked."

Ning snorts before muttering "teacups" and slumping down again.

You almost bring up that she was insulting the Empress when you found her, but hesitate. Perhaps not the best thing to mention to her harem… they don't seem to dislike the Empress enough for that gamble to be worth it. "I'm curious. We found her drunk out of her mind and you said the stress of the war is getting to her lately. Does she usually get too hammered to walk straight?"

Bao sighs and takes a drag of her long pipe. "Poor dear's had a rough go of things lately, yeah. She never married, see, and turned down a number of good offers. Pissed off a lot of people. The Shoguns have been gathering power to themselves quite a bit, you see, and taking it away from the Empress. Your average citizen doesn't really know or care who's leading the lances that come to your home."

You blink. "What, really? I thought she had the Staff."

"She does, technically, but it's too large for a single person. She requires help to pilot it." Bao clarifies. "Besides, you can't pull out the greatest engine of war on the planet without pulling some serious political strings. Unless you want even more of the houses turned against you."

"I guess so," You say, rubbing Aki's back, avoiding the chains. "Is Ning a good ally for the Empress then?"

You might as well have shot someone.

It takes a moment for you to realize, but at your words, the entire room freezes up. All the concubines – the four women and three men – stop what they are doing to look at you, some confused, one or two with angry realization.

Bao's eyes narrow. "You aren't a new concubine at all, are you?"

Aki presses her chest against you, eyes starting to water, and you see diamond forming in the liquid (somehow). "You lied to us?"

Dalnim looks confused between her two new friends, and they glare.

You stare at Bao, your mind racing. "What makes you say that?"

"Who are you?" Bao growls, and you realize there's a sudden chill in the air that has nothing to do with the sudden tension. A chill like a winter storm…

-

Voting

[] – Come clean
-[] – Write in specifics

[] – Talk your way out of this
-[] – Write in your arguments

[] – Intimidate
-[] – Write in your best threat.

[] – Do something drastic
-[] – Write in something audacious

[] – Write in

Suggested by @SpacePaladin
[] – Write in
-[] These people are mutants, right? Look at any that look like any of your psyker children, and start reciting their names. If they recognize them, tell them about the Cult of the Drowned.

Suggested by @Negation
[] – Do something drastic
-[] Just grab Dalnim and walk. An Outsider in the Harem would be a scandal and bring the wrath of the Empress on their heads. You doubt they'll raise the alarm.

Suggested by @Parzival95
[] – Come clean
-[] – Well you see, I'm a pirate and I was just recently plundering exploring an ancient alien bunker with Dalnim here when we accidentally awoke the inhabitants and barely escaped into a portal that led to an entirely unrelated alien spaceship up above the planet who then dumped us back through another portal in the palace to get rid of us. We were just wandering around trying to find an exit when we met our drunk friend here and now we're coming down from that incredibly stressful adventure while trying very hard not to start a huge fight in the heart of the palace.

Suggested by @*name*
[] Plan: Quest Story

-[X] – Write in: you're gonna tell your life story (the quest) with some edits, it is truth too!
--[X] so any ways it started with me on a ship of trade, no here's a trick, piracy is illegal but if some ruffians were to sail the high seas, well the law states that's a sailing paycheck with rights to start looting.
--[X] so the thing is some trade and navy ships act as pirates when no ones looking plausible deniability and all that; so it turns out the pirate ship was a royal navy ship that was raiding on the trade route it was guarding
--[X] Now it's easy to get away with killing the sailors without repercussions, treason, piracy, attacking trade ships, attacking other royal navy ships, being dumbasses by having records of who they raided.
--[X] The problem was that they had children in the brig, so slavery as well; now ships attacking other ships is part of the business, it just happens and legally capturing pirates for a profit is a nice side income.
--[X] Slavery thou is super mega illegal even though there's those nobles and rich ass merchants and governers. We just their map and sail to were the slaves were being sent to, gonna raid the buyers of their riches
--[X] Of course those buyers had to be hidden and they chose to settle on an island in the middle of a storm with dangerous seas filled with monstrous wildlife
--[X] now normally this is when a ship turns around, too much trouble and we just freed some kids from slavery, but we may have a lapse of judgment at the time and I may have argued to sail truough the storm and convinced crew and captain on it so . . .
--[X] when we got to the island problems may have arose, ship broke, jostle wildlife and . . . Maybe there was a cult what was buying slaves from nobles and their sailors in the navy, just to sacrifice them to their dark heretical gods
--[X] Now we have some of the crew calling to kill the cultists, a few might be a tad too religious, others to make more money after our merchandise sank in the sea
--[X] Now we killing the peculiar but then a third party arrives, dark elder; the foul Xenos were raiding the island for slaves. Know this I'm not 100% sure about this and is just a theory, but the nobles in the navy planned to sell to both the cultist and elder and have them kill each other, get rid of the heresy and xenos
--[X] the cultists want to sacrifice us and the elder to their gods while the xenos we're having a competition on who can cause the most fear and pain between them while they capture some new slaves.
--[X] As you can tell by the fact I'm living we had slain the cultists and driven off the eldar; after scraping the cultists' ships nad some local trees for materials the repaired trade ship left that island with some modest treasure and coin and few casualties
--[X] Now we sail to one of the tech monk temples to get repairs, we got some aristocracy's that need cleansing and locked in the deepest depths of their fortress monasteries
--[X] now you may or may not have heard of some pirates at a traitor tech monk monastery fortress, and all I got to say is that one how did they know we sank a navy ship? One that was working with heretics, xenos, were traitors that sank other trade and other navy ships? They were in on it so when we fought them, me and the crew wlaren't traders, just people that got stuck between the royal knights, or where they titans? Doesn't matter, and between the neutral tech monks
--[X] oh and they were shooting at my shops so property damage. I want to emphasize I didn't kill any of the nobles piloting the giant machines, but may have tricked them into shooting one another
--[X] now on how I got into the palence . . . Well you tell me cause I got no idea, like you help one drunk noble lady and a pale về guard says I'm kidnapping her, like kidnapping is when you move someone onto another room with out consent, you think I gave consent to be whisked away into the palace? Like the talk with you gals was nice and mech girl needed the rest and relaxation, you say how she was from joining my wacky adventure only halfway
--[X] . . . Oh yeah I forgot their some cool robot skeleton pirate noble abominable intelligence that the tech monks were containing to protect the world but evil noble titan army may have unleashed them onto the world with their stupidity, last I checked the AI skeleton pirates were destroying the nobles so you may start hearing about an army heading to the capital or palace or going around destroying any humans they can fine . . .
--[X] So . . . I guess I'm the most unlucky person alive and I'm hiding here cause there's an army coming and the palace SHOULD be the safest place, I rather deal with some hide and seek with some palace guards than fight an evil AI army the nobles unleashed
--[X] now with all that information, what you ladies gonna do with the potential end to the nation?

Click to shrink...

 

[HalfTangible]

Spoiler: Winning vote

Technically a tie, but ultimately came down to 'tell the story'.

XXXV. Negotiation

You put an arm around Aki, but keep talking to Bao. "Let's not be hasty here, there's a perfectly reasonable explanation, there's no need-"

Bao throws out her hand. Before her muscles even contract you grab Aki, carry her bridal style, and leap to the side, avoiding the sudden burst of cold right where you were before. The concubines (and Dalnim) are all stunned momentarily by how fast you move, and Aki's grip on you tightens.

"Try that again," you growl, tone low with warning, "and I'll leave her to die in it as I cut your throat."

Bao turns to look at you, entirely unimpressed by your threat. "Who are you?" She asks again, as if she didn't just try to kill you.

You breathe in and breathe out. "What do you think I am?"

"An invader pretending to be a concubine so he can peek in on the harem." Uta says, entirely fairly.

"Hey, you assumed I was a new concubine and I saw no reason to tell you no," you scowl. "What makes you so sure I'm an invader here anyway?"

"Tell me who you are and why you're here, and maybe I'll consider telling you." Bao growls, as hoarfrost gathers in the air.

"… Fine. So, first things first, I'm a pirate. Ching Sun-Sin, captain of the Cutting Dagger. You may have heard of me."

Aki shakes her head but holds on tighter. Uta tilts her head, trying and failing to remember where she'd heard the name 'Ching'.

"Nope." Bao shrugs.

That… stings a lot more than it should. "Anyway, a few weeks ago, my crew and I were sailing the seas, and we saw a ship flying the Reaver Queen's colors."

"Hold on." Bao frowns. "This story starts a few weeks ago?"

"Yeah, sorry, but it's important to the story, and I'll try to minimize the filler." You clear your throat. "So we dispatched them easy enough, but discovered they were taking children to this island in the Dajufeng. Now, when we arrived at their island…"

-

"-and she passed out. I picked her up, decided to bring her along. Not like I could just leave her unconscious in the treasure room I'd just robbed."

"You kidnapped her for ransom." Bao growls.

"I mean, I was thinking human shield, but yeah," you shrug, seeing little point in denying it. "Point is, we ran from an overzealous guard, Ning pointed out the secret passage we used to get here, and I decided we should lay low for a while." You nod to Dalnim. "She needed to relax and frankly I like pretty women, sue me."

Mei snorts, her hair curling in on itself. "Flatterer."

Bao doesn't laugh. "Okay… try again, but don't lie like a rug with a head injury this time."

You glance at Dalnim. "How does a rug get a head injury?"

The tech monk shrugs.

Aki hugs you and places her cheek against yours. "I believe him."

"… WHY?!" Bao yells. "That was the most insane pack of bullshit I've ever heard in my life! And I've heard more political speeches than love confessions!"

Aki frowns at her. "Easy, it's too stupid to make up."

"… What."

"It's too stupid to make up," Aki repeats, turning to nuzzle you again. "If he was, for example, trying to sneak into the harem, wouldn't it make more sense to portray himself as a shipwreck survivor? Or as Dalnim's secret lover he was trying to run away with? Or the janitor? Depths below, even a concerned citizen that happened upon Ning would be more believable than a magic portal in a space temple filled with undead robots that lead to a spaceship filled with weirdo magic knife-eared space babes that had ANOTHER magic portal that happened to lead to one of the palace's treasure rooms."

Bao's expression at that point lies somewhere between 'are you fucking kidding me right now' mixed with resting bitch face. "That's what happens when you lie, your story is full of holes!"

"On inspection, yeah, but this has holes from the get-go. It's like that guy who was late to his appointment with you because he forgot his pants."

You blink, train of thought derailed. "Wait, what?"

Bao breathes in deeply and exhales. "Okay, let's say for one wild moment that you're telling the truth, what's next then?"

"Which way is it to the docks?"

Aki frowns and holds on tighter to you. "Why?"

"It is my intention to steal a ship, sail it back to my crew, and hopefully save their lives from the soulless skeleton robots." You say calmly.

"That so?" Ning asks.

You look at her, surprised. "How long have you been awake?"

"Long 'nuff." She says, pulling herself up and rubbing her head. "What're you going to do about the skeleton robots?"

"Fight them, obviously."

"You'll lose." She says bluntly.

"I'm not going to kill them all." You fold your arms. "I'm going to get my crew out."

"Okay. Say they're not dead and you do. How long are you gonna last before these robots take over the world?"

You bite back your insults, your insistence that they're fine. "Shouldn't you be at your meeting?"

She waves a dismissive hand. "They don't let me talk anyway, fuck 'em. Don't change the subject."

"What else, exactly, am I supposed to do? Unlike you I don't have a noble house to call on."

Ning snorts. "You've got me."

"And why would that matter?"

She blinks at you, confusion evident in her eyes. "Wow you really don't know do you."

"… Ning's full name is Shenzhou Ning," Bao growls, standing up. "Divine Empress of Tabgach, Emissary of Heaven, Blood of Jade."

…

"What."

"I know I don't look it right now," Ning snaps, dusting off one of her shoulders.

That's a bit of an understatement.

As she pulls herself up, she sways and almost falls over again. In every description you've ever heard of the Empress (save for those composed by pirates that really need to just pay for a cheap whore or something), she is portrayed as an imperious and majestic being, looking down her nose and speaking in a voice like thunder, commanding respect, adoration and fear in equal parts.

Seeing her now she looks more like a middle-aged mother going through a bad divorce after waking up from a bad hangover. Her hair is a complete mess, as is her make-up. She's missing jewelry (save for a neck brace) and while her clothing is of fine make it's wrinkled, messed up, and covered in spilled sake. The smell is about what one would expect.

You shrug. "Eh, I live with pirates, I've seen worse."

Ning snorts. "A bit backhanded but I'll take it. I don't think I got your name?"

"Ching Sun-Sin."

"Ching…?" She frowns. "I know that name…"

She's quiet for a moment, then shrugs. "Eh, can't recall specifics. Girls, boys, leave us."

"Uh, ma'am-" One of the men asks.

She sighs. "Yes, you can give Dalnim another foot rub before she leaves. Just get out of earshot."

The concubines bow to Ning before moving away, taking a confused Dalnim with them. You keep expecting someone to laugh and say they were joking, but no one does. And you also realize that if the Empress was talking poorly about herself, then either she was full of self-loathing or she'd been quoting other people…

"Do you really have no plan beyond 'show up and shoot things'?" She asks.

"It's not like I have any other options." You say, making the bait obvious.

"Au contrare," Ning wags her finger at you. "I have access to something that can end this threat to my planet and save your people all in a single go."

You raise an eyebrow, pretending your curiosity has been piqued.

"Tell me, Ching Sun-Sin," She grins wide, "Have you ever heard of my personal Knight?"

You raise an eyebrow further, this time genuinely surprised. You'd been hoping for some of her subordinate houses to come, but her personal knight?!

"It would doubtless turn the tide against these machines. I don't care how powerful they are, the Staff would be more than powerful enough to wipe them from existence."

You have your doubts that any single Knight could turn the tide, but you see the confidence in her eyes, and you do know the legends around it.

The Staff of the Azure Sky was the largest and strongest Knight on the planet, said to have been crafted from the bones of the moon. (It's doubtful that's what actually happened, but the fact that a legend of such a thing exists tells you all you need to know about that thing's size). All fear it, and from what your mother tells you, rightly so. It'd been damaged once or twice, but rarely rendered immobile, and never left survivors once it decided to kill.

Which begged the question of where the stories came from, but 'never' probably meant 'few'.

"And in exchange for this boon, you want…?"

"I want you kill Lord Chan. Or at least make sure he dies to these robots." She says without preamble. "You said you got a meeting with him earlier. Which suggests he trusts you."

You frown and fold your arms, glaring at the Empress.

"What?!"

"Your knights asked for him to be brought in alive when they went to the temple."

"Yeah, well. My generals and I disagree on that point." she growls. "Taking men alive hasn't done anything so far."

You raise an eyebrow. "Seems a dishonorable thing you ask, to kill a man who thinks me his ally."

"Tell the corpses of the last twenty years honor matters!" She snaps. "I want the war to be over! Chan is keeping this going. If he dies, then it would break the morale of his houses and maybe we can get some actual negotiations in! The war can stop. We can drop a few taxes, get some infrastructure projects in, do something with my power besides offer condolences to dead farmers!

"Normally I'd give you a title, but you don't seem like the type. So I'll offer a full pardon for you, your mother and your father. I'll throw in a letter of marque for your pirate armada while I'm at it."

Not bad. While the Reaver Queen's armada has always been fiercely independent, you know that some pirates are granted these papers, allowing them to raid and pillage the enemies of one house or another while being protected by the nobles.

She glances back at the harem girls who are trying very hard to pretend they're not listening. "And you can take the girls. You'll be nice to them, won't you?"

You scowl. "What kind of man do you take me for?"

"The kind in charge of a group of criminals I know nothing about. Besides, we'll need a reason to sell deploying the Staff to my advisors, and frankly they get bored in here."

"… fair enough. But that's all things that benefit you. What am I getting out of this?"

She frowns. "Saving your people at the temple, legalizing your piratical activities, and restoring the good name of your father isn't payment enough?"

Mental note, she did recognize his name.

"What makes you think I care about whether or not the law approves of what I do?" You hold up your fingers and rub them together, grinning. "If I'm going to be killing a man on your order, I expect proper compensation."

"How about that sword of mine you stole?"

You snort, not even mentioning why that's not enough.

"… Fine. Name your price." She growls, grudgingly folding her arms. "And make it reasonable, please."

You grin.

Reasonable payment is for chumps. You're gonna extort the shit out of her.

-

Voting

In exchange for bringing the Staff of the Azure Sky to bear against the Necron menace, the Empress has promised you a letter of marque, full pardons for your family, and other stuff you don't care about. But she's just handed you a blank check to demand anything you want from her in exchange.

(Note: No, you will not be locked in to killing Chan Len by this decision. That will come later. For now you're extorting the Empress, so have fun with it)

[] – Marriage

The fastest way to be put in charge of this planet is to wed the Empress. Technically you'd be her consort rather than her equal, but you've never really cared about titles. You'd be all but divine, and the planet would be under your control, de facto if not de jure.

[] – Treasures

You want all the Necron treasure that the Empress and her forces have acquired, and your own pick from the rest. No one would ever challenge your mother's armada again, and you'd have free reign of the seas to do as you please.

[] – Help for the children

The kids you collected from the slavers need to get home. The Empress would surely have information and be able to help with a speed you couldn't match without her.

(Note: You can do this with the marriage as well but this option dodges tying yourself down to potential responsibility)

[] – Knights

She was half right. You don't want a noble title, but the giant robots? Now that sounds like fun. You're pretty sure there are ways to transport them over the ocean…

[] – Write-in

Suggested by @w34v3r
[] write-in: Witch academy - There's a lot of witch kids running around untrained, hell we had to figure our powers out all on our own and we come from money. In order to prevent similar incidents as to what started this mess, there needs to be a proper school for these kids.

Submitted by @*name*
[] Write In: Friendship – she's gonna go on an adventure with us and join our crew; she can think of it as a vacation

 

[HalfTangible]

XXXVI. Marriage

You expected an immediate denial. You expected her to lash out that some lowly pirate would never be worthy of her, or perhaps that she needed to save her marriage for a political alliance of true import. She does not say any of these things. The Empress of the planet that nominally rules over everything you have ever known stares at you for what feels like months.

Long enough, in fact, that you tilt your head with a cocky grin. "What? Can't believe your luck?"

"I'm waiting for you to give me a serious offer." She says bluntly, folding her arms defensively.

"Oh that wasn't an offer," you say sweetly, patting her head in the most infuriating way you know how. "It was a demand."

"Who do you think you are, the star's gift to Tabgach?"

"Eh. Kinda." To be fair that's not so much 'wrong' as 'incomplete'.

She balks. "No, y-you are actually insane."

"Don't sell yourself short honey." You give her your most dazzling smile, and see her blush deep. You're quite the handsome lad when you want to be. "You really want the war to end? This is how you do it. Unless you've already got a fiancé or are carrying out some secret love affair with one of your servants or something? … And if so my demand becomes 'tell me everything about them.'"

"W-well no, but-"

"Then I don't see the problem." You shrug. "Take it or leave it."

She pushes your hand off of her head, scowling. "Ya know what? F-fine. Make it back, none of my girls get hurt while they're with you, and I'll…… make you my consort." She mumbles out that last part like it's causing her physical pain.

"Up-up-up!" You hold up your finger. "Husband. I'm not settling for less."

She folds her arms, scowling. "I will not be your meek tavern whore, I'm the Empress and you will treat me as such. I still have my pride."

"Fine, that'd be boring anyway." You say with a dismissive wave of your hand as you fall to one knee. "Look, we can discuss the exact details later. But, pending those negotiations… Shenzhou Ning the Indomitable, Divine Empress, the Emissary of the Heavenly Court and blood of the Jade, will you marry me?"

Ning stares at you. For a moment, the air seems to hang still. Even the concubines listening in that think they're too stealthy for you hold their breath. In the garden, cherry blossoms fall around the two of you, and for the briefest of instances you feel a flicker of fear she'll say no. You don't have a plan for if she decides to damn the consequences…

"… Bring me Lord Chang's head," she says quietly, "And I will be yours until the last star falls from the night."

A bit more dramatic than you'd expected, but eh. All things can be worked on. You grin and stand up, pecking her cheek and eliciting another blush.

"Okay. Now… I need one more thing from you: a ship."

-

Dalnim takes her sweet time saying goodbye to the concubine that gave her a foot rub, but at the very least you're underway now. Bao and Aki come along with you, both of them manacled (you don't ask where they got the cuffs from) to keep up the illusion that you're absconding with them. You make your way through several secret passageways, easily avoiding the guards. Partly because you're just that awesome, partly because the mistress of the place gave you a step-by-step guide to the docks.

You find a small private ship,

Dalnim gapes. "That engine is a tripolar hydroaccelerant?!" She whispers, excited. "Oh I wish we had more time."

Bao chuckles at Dalnim's apparent enthusiasm for nerd stuff you don't care about as you put Aki into the boat. "Yes, well, it's rare nowadays, but the Temple of Unfounded Repentance used to have an entire luxury yacht line in its archives. Unfortunately, it was lost."

When you lift Aki into the boat, she giggles in your arms and embraces you. "I heard someone's becoming our new emperor!"

You smirk and leave her in the boat. "You're supposed to be my prisoner, at least until we're out on the sea."

"Oh I know but still!" She squeals. "I love weddings! Please tell me you've got cuties to be groomsmen!!"

You roll your eyes. Ping seems to know more about the noble stuff than you'd expect of a pirate, maybe he can help you with the ceremony. Or better idea, a way to skip past it to the fun part where you sail off into the sunset with her at the altar… or…

Hrm. Will you do that? Seems like a bad idea to do that to the empress of the world, even if she doesn't seem fully on board as of yet.

Dalnim raises an eyebrow, the boat engine momentarily forgotten. "Wait, you're getting married? Didn't you and that Caihong chick have something going on?"

"… no?" You say, raising an eyebrow at her. "Caihong's my first mate and she tried to kill me once."

"Oh… I could've sworn…" She shook her head. "Well one of your crew told me that he was hoping someone you had would come around after something bad they did on the trip."

"Oh, Eun?"

Just as your thoughts turn back to your crew, you feel a sense of foreboding. You're not sure what the necrons are doing, but you hope your crew can survive it…

-

Voting

It will take time for you to reach your crew, days at the very least, even with your control over the storms. In that time, much has the potential to go wrong. Fortunately, your crew is lead by Caihong, and she is no fool. You are on your way, but they'll have to survive without you.

How bad is the situation for Caihong and the crew? (Next post will focus on them)

[Good news]

[] [Good news] - Crew Escaped

By threats, by luck, perhaps sheer unbridled gumption, Caihong is able to rally the crew, cast the ship off, and get out onto open waters before the necrons can do them serious harm.

[] [Good news] - The Necrons are mad

Driven into madness by their long sleep, the necrons fight as a mindless, uncoordinated horde, only attacking immediate threats and things they find in their explorations.

[] [Good news] - A knight fights

The Tech Monks are able to repair Chan's war machine enough to fight against the necrons.

[Bad news]

[] [Bad news] - City gone

The tech monks' temple and the city connected to it have been wiped out by the necrons, and the land around it is dying.

[] [Bad news] - Crew bloodied

Half of your crew is dead.

[] [Bad news] – Warp rift

A hole is torn in reality, from which scream the neverborn.

[] - Write-in:

Good news and bad news write ins will be counted separately but I ask you label them. If the Good News and Bad News votes contradict each other, we'll go with the higher vote between the two, and then the secondary for the other.

Suggested by @Tabascoheath
[] – [Bad News] Write in: Green Pirates From the Sky?

The whole city is an ugly three way brawl between the Monks, the Necrons, and... buff green pirates? Seemingly intent on fighting and looting to their hearts content, it seems this eclectic not-quite-jade horde with surprisingly good taste in hats is just as intent on fighting the "glowin' metalboyz" just as much as the "not glowin' metalboyz"

Suggested by @*name*
[] - [Good & Bad] Write-in: All of the Above — good and bad news, the city is being sieged, 1 half of your crew is in the thick of it, and now the sky is being ripped apart and spitting 4 different kinds of daemons for a 6 way free for all. Meanwhile the other half of your crew has sailed off and providing cannon fire to the first half, the robots are mad and infighting making it a 7 to 11 way brawl, and a knight is now punching a huge daemon in the face and stepping on some skeletons. some would say that charging in is a guaranteed death, but Nah, your a Primarch, you'll Win

Clarification:

only the default ones consolidated, if people want extra shit, they should add extra sub-blocks (like -[] ); i'm assuming that for every [Good] sub block they provide a [Bad news] sub-block for balanceand to make the mess even funnier

Click to shrink...

Yes.

 

[HalfTangible]

Spoiler: Winning vote

All of the above.

XXXVII. Chaos Erupts

-

Caihong

-

The voices never stopped. They always got louder when Sun-Sin was gone. But they were being particularly loud and annoying today.

Normal stuff for the most part. I'm hungry, imagine what power we offer, turn your friend's skin into living swimwear. That kind of thing. But some of them were panicking, and it was getting on Caihong's nerves. She had enough to be worried about. Xiulan's cultists were all over the city, telling everyone how wonderful and amazing their 'Stormbreaker' was. For all of Xiulan's insanity and zealotry she was one hell of a persuasive speaker, and the people were listening to her extoll his virtues. All two and a half of his virtues.

"-and the Stormbreaker did deliver us from false hope and falser gods! Know this, prodigal children of our wondrous world, there is no safety in false gods! Praise be to the Stormbreaker!"

"Praise be" echoed from the crowd, some more enthusiastic than others.

"Thank you for coming. I will speak here again tomorrow. If you desire further blessings, please give me a moment to confer with my colleague, and then I will give out personal benedictions." Xiulan stepped down from her makeshift pulpit.

Caihong places her hands on her hips and glares at the cult leader, not bothering to hide her annoyance. "Weren't you supposed to give up this whole religion thing?"

"I gave up worship of the three we had come to know in the storm," Xiulan tilts her nose up, letting the shine of her shaved head reflect the sun in the most annoyingly imperious manner Caihong had ever seen outside of a noble party. "Your captain did not preclude me from telling of his exploits."

You'll regret this.

"I don't think he was expecting you to turn him into your new god," Caihong snaps. Gods, something is prickling her skin today. "Where's your son? What's his name?"

"Son," Xiulan shrugs. "He's back on the ship. Doesn't seem to like the city, once the novelty wore off."

"Can't be worse than being a tiny cult on an island."

"It isn't, but I think he prefers the ship." Xiulan muses. "There's surprisingly few children here… or perhaps it's not that surprising with the monks nearby."

Gods… where was this headache coming from?

"Well maybe you should go put your eye back on him before he does something stupid."

Xiulan snorts. "I will not be lectured on how to properly raise a child by your crew, not after that stunt at the city walls. Fan nearly died."

"And you thought it was a good idea to leave your son in the hands of that same crew?"

"… okay fair enough." Xiulan sighs. "Are you going to tell Sun-Sin about this?"

"If you don't, yeah. And trust me, I'll make it sound much worse."

"Do it and I'll tell him what you're doing with that navigator fellow – Jiang Wei, was it?"

"Go right ahead, I'm sure he knows."

A bluff. If Sun-Sin knew she was seeing the navigator he'd never stop teasing her-

Her headache suddenly flared, like an axe cleaving her skull open.

A rumble shakes the ground, and Xiulan stumbles. Caihong falls to her knees as a sudden wave of nausea rushes through her, worse than any bout of seasickness. The voices all began screaming at once, all in some flavor of fear.

RUN

LEAVE

FLEE

"First mate?" Xiulan asks, suddenly concerned. "What-"

IT'S BAD

GET OUT

SHUT UP AND RUN!

Caihong screams and grabs her forehead just as an emerald light erupts from the stupa overlooking the port. Something is pounding in the base of her skull, and she hurls. She scratches at her forehead, trying to tear something out of her mind… something is wrong, she knows it, but-

Her eyepatch burns away, and something forces its way out of her eye socket, screaming all the while.

-

Tech Monks

-

There is a low boom within the hill, and the entire edifice sags downward.

Virtuous Whim and Paradise in Labor stand just outside of what was once an entrance to the tomb complex of the ancient men of Iron – well, no, Whim supposed, their called themselves the Necrons – that was now filled with fallen stones.

"How long will that hold?" Paradise rasps, trying to catch his breath. Both monks are exhausted, having worked as quickly as they could to set up explosives. They's given Ching Sun-Sin and their lay-sister as much time as they could afford, but the moment they'd seen the necrons coming, they'd detonated.

"If we're lucky, the rest of eternity," Whim says in turn, wiping his forehead.

"Bad odds?"

"7.63% percent. Another 68% says they get out within a couple of days," He says, taking a deep breath. "Regardless, we need to enact containment protocols. Inform Lotus immediately and ready our defenses. The real ones, this time."

Paradise nods. The Kuji-Nan kept many secrets from the people of Tabgach. Especially the true extent of their weaponry. After all, most of it would never be used on humans.

"That thing down there. Think it will be able to command our alien artifacts as well?"

Whim hesitates. "… no way of knowing. Assume yes."

"Advanced human weaponry only," Paradise breathes deep, finally seeming to catch his breath. "Okay. Lotus won't like it."

"Lotus is not going to like anything that happens in the next 48 hours but at least we'll live to see it! Now. The rubble buried them. They should be immobilized, if not outright destroyed for now. We'll have some time to prepare -"

There's a low boom, and a flash of emerald light as if from a source deep within the caves.

Whim stares. Paradise stares.

Another boom. The light grows brighter.

The monks bolt as another flash goes off.

They have minutes at best.

-

Thaszar

-

It had been a long and uneventful sleep, and an exile so boring Thaszar almost welcomed the hairless apes poking about his tomb and stealing his artifacts. Almost.

The ape had his hat, but whatever. He could retrieve it later, not like the ape was going to get off-world anyway.

His personal vessel had been toyed with by the apes, of course. Doubtless they had determined he was some sort of god and in their fumbling ignorance attempted to repair it to his pleasure, not realizing the vessel's inability to hold oxygen was no impediment to him or his servants.

That was where the decent news ended, however, and his frustrations began.

For one thing, it seemed the Necron's great sleep had done far more damage to their people than anticipated. The near-mindless warriors should have obeyed his commands instantly (so long as those commands weren't to harm other members of the Sarnekh dynasty) but almost all of them were instead following basic cleansing protocols. Non-friendlies were detected and eliminated one by one, leaving only dust and screams in their wake.

Which, well, fine. It wasn't as useful as they could be right now but at least they were shutting up the stupid apes.

Thaszar's sensors turned towards the primitive settlement and what they told him gave even he pause. There was an immaterial disturbance there?

Such an event had occasionally happened during the ending centuries of the war in heaven, but never to this extent, and… what were those things coming out of the hole? They didn't look like the kind of constructs the Aeldari or the Old Ones preferred… Eurgh, they almost made Krorks look appealing. Almost.

Whatever they were, his warriors' weapons seemed less effective than they should've been… hrm. Time to leave.

He lifted his vessel off of the planet, paying no thought or mind to the apes below, nor the warriors he was about to lose. None of them were thinking machines, after all, and the exiled noble had much greater sources of treasure and servants waiting for him.

Starting with the fools who had exiled him. And then, the stars.

-

Eun

-

For whatever reason, Caihong had put Eun in charge of watching the ship. Maybe she wanted to help her show she was loyal and capable, maybe she wanted to deny her shore leave. Either way, the die was cast, and Eun was outside of the city when… whatever was happening began.

Something was moving through the streets, killing at random, but not looting like a pirate crew might, oh no. More like an extermination. She saw women, men, children, turned to dust with cracks of emerald lightning. Skeletal monstrosities with guns that hunched them over strode silently through the streets. She saw one of the robots, tearing apart a living, screaming man and… was it trying to eat the flesh?

She looked away quickly from that one. What madness was this?

Something bright and shining with witch-light was happening near the center of the city too, though every time Eun tried to look in that direction she couldn't tell what she was seeing. Fan clutched to her side like the scared child she was, but Eun had no words of comfort for her.

She wanted to run. Cast off before those… whatever-they-weres made it to the vessel.

Repairs had been completed ahead of schedule and some of the many modifications the tech-monks had promised applied. The ship had been brought out of drydock to make room for other vessels.

But barely half the crew was on the ship. Caihong was out in the city, tracking down Xiulan. Sun-Sin was being seen to by medics, or maybe visiting Maia, Eun wasn't sure. The important thing was that none of them were on the ship and she had no idea where they were or when they'd show up.

Casting off would be as good as sentencing them to die.

Sun wouldn't forgive her if she betrayed him again… but he'd never forgive her if the crew died, either.

Fan whimpered and clutched closer to her.

Eun turned and shouted. "Cast off."

Han gaped at her. "Eun, we can't leave the captain or Caihong and I am not-"

A bolt of green light flew from the shore and struck one of the cultists. She didn't have time to scream before she became dust, and her disintegrating bones clattered to the ground. The remaining crew looked up, and in the distance they saw skeletons marching towards their ship.

To their credit, the crew moved instantly.

"LAUNCH!!" Eun grabbed Fan in her arms and ran for the cabin. "We'll have to support from the sea!"

Han didn't raise any further objections as he pulled his guns and shot at the skeletons. One of them was struck in the head and stopped walking, but the rest kept coming.

As the ship pulled out of the harbor, the skeletons raised their strange guns and fired, and crew turned to dust with barely enough time to scream. Eun kept Fan close, trying not to hurl from what she was seeing. Fan sobbed.

"Be brave," Eun said quietly to the girl, holding her tight. "Sun-Sin will be here soon. We'll be okay."

She wasn't sure if she was telling Fan or herself.

The Cutting Dagger quickly pulled out of port. Flashes of green energy fired over their heads, occasionally striking a crewmember who would scream and die. Eun hoped the reason that they weren't shooting at the ship because their weapons would be ineffective.

"HARD TO STARBOARD, READY THE CANNONS!" Eun roared. The gunwales opened, and on Eun's command they fired.

She bit her lip. Half the crew was still in the city. So were thousands of people. Eun was a pirate, she could and would kill (and occasionally have fun doing it), but usually with the goal of gathering treasure or staying alive. This was apocalypse.

And to her horror, she saw the robot Han had shot move again, the hole in its skull gone.

Gods save the crew.

And may Sun-Sin be here soon.

-

Voting

Sun-Sin will not be here soon. But what happens in the meantime?

[] – Tech Monks abandon the city

The Tech Monks, seeing that the city is lost, choose to shut themselves off and wait out the storm. An emergency signal has been broadcast, and other temples will bring reinforcements to help them cleanse the city. But for now, the Tech Monks must protect themselves and wait out the storm.

(The Tech Monks seal themselves up, leaving the city to its fate.)

[] – The Cutting Dagger is boarded

The Cutting Dagger thinks itself safe, until once more skeletal hands reach up from beneath the waters and begin climbing their way onto the ship. Floating necrons with massive cannons make their way to the deck and slaughter all who stay.

(The half of the crew you voted to die last round actually end up being the crew on the Cutting Dagger. Fan lives. So does Eun, as a treat.)

[] – A demon appears

A creature from beyond the deepest nightmare of man and woman steps from the void. Many will find the necrons kinder masters.

(A demon appears.)

[] – Chang's Knights arrive

The houses loyal to Lord Chang and against the Empress arrive to rescue their lord. Unfortunately, in the chaos of the city's destruction, they do not discriminate; they don't know what's happening or where the most danger to their lord is.

(Knights arrive at the city, and begin their own purge)

[] – Write in

[] – Write in – All of the above (VETO)

Suggested by @keykingdom
[] Write in: Green Pirates From the Sky?

Suggested by @Tabascoheath
[] Write in: Pretty Space Wizard! (and her *really* angry friends)
- Belathala's back and she brought some of her craft world to stop the warp incursion! or the Necrons. or something else. Whatever the case she and the rest of her buddies look really angry and they don't seem to be in the mood to focus on anything but... whatever it is they're here for.