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1) Gates are technically sort of two-way. The actual wormhole stargates produce is indeed two-way but it's too small for a human to fit through, however, energy signals (like teleportation beams) can travel both ways. It's just that when a gate connects, the teleporters built into the gate are set as an entrance and an exit. And well, the exit teleporter vaporises things trying to enter it. So you could get singals back. Additionally, it is possible to disguise the origin of a gate connection. This is difficult, and would be one of the major difficulties of this project even with The Toddler Test, but the Nox have been shown to be able to produce connections without the Dialling sequence or the energy wave using a bog standard gate - presumably this is an advanced control method that doesn't use the DHDs, but honestly we mainly see the SGC using those and they are absolutely terrible at R&D. Apophis also is implied to have done something similar in the first or second episode. As such, this project is mainly focused on improved gate understanding with a comparatively simpler design for the scout, probably a spirit of some kind. Honestly I think I might have underestimated the scale a little when I proposed it so it might end up running over if you do pick it.

2) This is intended to be a starter project to show what you are capable of to Ainsley and give him hope that you can create a fighting force capable of holding off the Hunt. A Hero Weapon may not seem much to something like us, but to the level of war that he's used to and the sort of war the Goa'uld regularly employs, powerful single units are extremely useful. The weapon in this case would likely be an upgrade to a Goa'uld staff weapon, or something along those lines, capable of piercing known examples of Goa'uld armour and allowing you to be mobile enough to dodge retalliation or withstand shots from a staff. Probably wouldn't be enough to stand up to aircraft, but it's the easiest of the tthree projects.

3) This is where me not explaining things too well bites me in the ass. You've heard of the Hunts before to get some idea of how things work but I didn't go into too much detail at the time because it felt superflous. That said, the Goa'uld use a slave army of Jaffa and arm them for terror more than battle. Staff weapons are fairly powerful, but have a rate of fire and accuracy more in line with a musket - that's their standard weapon. Beyond that they have intars (stunning weapons that they use for training) and Tok'Kals basically sci-fi stun grenades. There are stun guns (that also do disintigration) but those are generally limited to actual goa'uld.

They do have air support but it's mostly air-to-air fighters and a few bombers these wouldn't see much use in hunts simply because the weapons are too powerful and wouldn't be useful for taking slaves. Most of their land infrastructure is legitimately medieval outside of personal equipment, mainly because the Goa'uld fear jaffa rising up against them - something which has happened in the past.

Jaffa are humans with minor genetic modifications. The modifications generally mean close to peak human physiology (in a generalist sense, not in any particular field) but it is mainly there to remove their immune system and make them dependent on symbiotes - baby goa'uld - those symbiotes do grant them some additional strength and healing but it is relatively minor, they aren't bulletproof or anything. Their armour also does nothing to protect them from staff weapons, more from arrows, bolts, knifes and other tools primitive cultures may be able to access.

Hunts are also notably distinct from wars, they are slave-capturing and culling missions. Sure, some of it is to ensure that technology doesn't progress too far, but beyond that sort of scouting and elimination, Connaing and his forces don't expect a great deal of resistance.

Thank you very much for these answers. The clarification of the wormhole is quite appreciated -- and I think that'll be a more major project, later.

Argh. My brain. I'm going to repeat back to you because I think I'm missing stuff. (I blame me, and incorrect amounts of coffee...)

From stories, we know their rough order of battle for a hunt: they transport a slave army plus some specialist support kit for the high mucketies of the hunt. There is signal return, so if we do a "We're not trapped here with you, you're trapped here with us" play, they'll know about it. And we know the general historical patterns of a hunt.

I think I'm going to keep my vote the same, since logistics will benefit us regardless of when the hunt occurs. (And the modular nature means that the project will just... run for however long this plot-time is). Gets us a go-to-hell-plan (everyone sprints down the trod to a hidden cave), and enables rapid movement between the gate, the village, the smelter, and ... other relevant locations. Now that you've explained the attack-weapon, I can see it's utility for morale.

I could be argued into other logistics-benefiting tasks, to awaken a genius loci, or the weapon if we really need a morale demonstrator two years out. But other folks' ideas are absolutely appreciated here.

With regards to Toddler, @Emizaquel -- does that mean that we don't have a risk of an accidental activation of the helmet if we repair it? I'd quite like to use that as a vector for intelligence gathering, but I'm not quite sure toddler gets us to that point. Do you have a sense of what prereqs we're lacking?
 
With regards to Toddler, @Emizaquel -- does that mean that we don't have a risk of an accidental activation of the helmet if we repair it? I'd quite like to use that as a vector for intelligence gathering, but I'm not quite sure toddler gets us to that point. Do you have a sense of what prereqs we're lacking?
Toddler would mean that within 10 minutes maximum of messing around with something you would be able to get a solid idea of how to access main functions and you would get a hang of any advanced features with a little more practice, maybe few hours tops. Perhaps not the most skilled, but you can get it to do everything it was meant to do. That said, you have limited insight into how it works, so it likely wouldn't help much with unintended use cases.

Messing with the helmet would be a lower DC than before as you would have it locked down in 10 minutes max, but you do run the risk of the helmet sending out signals. Though I don't think I'll get into exactly where the DC is set on the helmets.
 
Toddler would mean that within 10 minutes maximum of messing around with something you would be able to get a solid idea of how to access main functions and you would get a hang of any advanced features with a little more practice, maybe few hours tops. Perhaps not the most skilled, but you can get it to do everything it was meant to do. That said, you have limited insight into how it works, so it likely wouldn't help much with unintended use cases.

Messing with the helmet would be a lower DC than before as you would have it locked down in 10 minutes max, but you do run the risk of the helmet sending out signals. Though I don't think I'll get into exactly where the DC is set on the helmets.

Also reasonable. And none of our perks have given us a theory of how the helmets send signals and we don't have any deconstruction perks. Good to know!

It may be worth moving some of your explanation into your primary post for folks who don't read the thread.
 
Also reasonable. And none of our perks have given us a theory of how the helmets send signals and we don't have any deconstruction perks. Good to know!

It may be worth moving some of your explanation into your primary post for folks who don't read the thread.
might do, it's just late so it may have to be for the morning
 
[X][PERK] The Toddler Test
[X][PLAN] A defensive construct capable of swatting even the chariots of Connaing from the skies.
DRAGON
[X][SWORD] she can have it
 
[X][PERK] The Toddler Test
[X][PLAN] A defensive construct capable of swatting even the chariots of Connaing from the skies.
[X][SWORD] she can have it
 
Vote closed
Scheduled vote count started by Emizaquel on Apr 12, 2023 at 10:08 PM, finished with 16 posts and 8 votes.
  • 7

    [X][PERK] The Toddler Test
    [x] [PERK] Telekinesis
  • 4

    [X][SWORD] she can have it
  • 1

    [X][SWORD-more] she can also have anything we have to spare as startup capital to facilitate her trades for useful items and material.
  • 4

    [X][PLAN] Modular runes for a faerie trod to allow for rapid and protected movement by the villagers within extensible, but pre-defined routes.
    [X][PLAN] A defensive construct capable of swatting even the chariots of Connaing from the skies.
 
Interlude 35.1
[PERK] The Toddler Test
[SWORD] she can have it
[PLAN] A defensive construct capable of swatting even the chariots of Connaing from the skies.

You see Anna off and get to work, setting up your plan for your creation. You delve into the forest seeking the reagents for:

[] A tree with animated razor-sharp leaves. As a sapling it won't be able to do much, but it will give a good idea of how powerful it could be when it gets bigger and moving it into the village won't be too hard. The force animating the leaves is powerful enough to pull fighter-jets from the sky and the leaves move fast enough to swat missiles out of the air.
[] A flock of artificial Stymphalian Birds. By crafting metal bodies and binding the spirits of dead birds into them, you will be able to create a weapon capable of slicing through exposed flesh with their wings and boring through steel with their hardend beaks. Making more for the swarm will take more effort, but each bird will be a potent weapon.
[] An animated cloud of poisonous smoke. From what you have been able to gather, none of Connaing's forces make use of resparatory protection of any kind. Indeed, even the aircraft sent out on Hunts are open-canopy 'chariots'. An animate mobile poison would be a silent and perhaps even invisible killer, depending on the potency of the poison you are able to cook up.

A/N: I voted for the defensive emplacement because of three things -
first, that you are trying to make an impression, so having something viceral will be more important than having something strategic.

The second is based on your description of Faerie Trods. You basically introduced them as this enchantment on the forests that made it so that everyone but the Goa'uld would be able to use a sort of intent-based magic that would allow them to pass through the forests more quickly. I don't know if you mean that in the sense of being less hindered by the forest because it seems to move out of the way (a sort of Favoured Terrain kind of thing? to use D&D terminology) or if it's because you effectively teleport through the forest when not directly observed or somesuch.

Assuming you mean it's the Friend of the Forest style effect, then it's going to be more reasonable, definitely something you could implement. Not the most impressive, but doable in the time period and would have some benefit at least in terms of hunting and perparation. Not sure how much it will impact logistics since I've only thought about it for like ten minutes, but I could see an argument for it. But I think it wouldn't have enough of an effect to be used to prove your powers.

The teleportation however, would be very difficult to implement. This breaks down in a few different ways. From easiest to hardest:
  • short ranged teleportation when unobserved. This automatically limits itself to anyone who knows the trick of focusing more on where you want to go and not focusing on where you are, this will teleport you every so often that it cuts down your travel time significantly, but only by an order of magnitude or so - months become weeks, weeks become days that sort of thing.
  • short ranged teleportation with different restrictions. You include some sort of trigger for the teleportation effect - perhaps rounding specific trees, and you set up a network of them. Easier for you, but would take a lot more effort to set up en-mass. Other implementations have their own strengths. Other ideas could include specific songs, deliberately diving into a bush or some other act. The less specific the trigger is the harder it is to implement. What I descibed above would also be possible in the timeframe at hand.
  • mid range teleportation - this is significantly harder, taking you several months to half a year to achieve at your current level definitely out of scope for the demonstration, but woudl allow free teleportation within a single forest more or less.
  • long-range teleportation - i.e. between any two forests on the network. This would take you at least a year (and a day) to achieve something on this level even with Mystic Passage.
Also sorry for the delay, things have been really unpredictable lately.
 
[X] A tree with animated razor-sharp leaves and the ability to be guided by a human-intelligence to know friend from foe. As a sapling it won't be able to do much, but it will give a good idea of how powerful it could be when it gets bigger and moving it into the village won't be too hard. The force animating the leaves is powerful enough to pull fighter-jets from the sky and the leaves move fast enough to swat missiles out of the air. The tree also, given sufficient supplies and supplication by other people, should be able to produce acorns.

A demonstration of this sapling can be as a hunting blind and sniping facility for nearby deer.

Edited your prompt to add two essential bits.

Regarding the trod, neither favoured terrain nor teleportation -- though much closer to favoured terrain. At the "sapling" level, it would be favoured terrain, but due to luck rather than skill. (The branches are never in your face, but there are good odds that a branch would be between you and an enemy). As it becomes more advanced and more nodes added to the network, it would be an enshortening of space as well. "Underhill" or "Astral plane" so that a step on the trod would be more than one step IRL. And the movement within the network would be essential to power the network.

Basically, *secret*, *secure*, and *lucky* is more important than *fast.* But fast will emerge over time and with energy. The primary strategic goal is to keep the ground lines of communication open and to provide good evac routes for villages in the wild hunt's path.
 
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[X] A tree with animated razor-sharp leaves and the ability to be guided by a human-intelligence to know friend from foe. As a sapling it won't be able to do much, but it will give a good idea of how powerful it could be when it gets bigger and moving it into the village won't be too hard. The force animating the leaves is powerful enough to pull fighter-jets from the sky and the leaves move fast enough to swat missiles out of the air. The tree also, given sufficient supplies and supplication by other people, should be able to produce acorns.

Trod was an auto corruption from roads. But yes, it was essentially an attempt to create a limited feywild dimension. at first, probably just favored terrain, maybe with some camouflage, and lucky branch emplacement, then scaling to include seven steps in the space of single step with maybe with a notice-me-not charm, up to seven mile boots on everyone, scaling up until its its own feywild, or web way.

Travel on the roads being a way to ritually widen them and depending them. Roads not traveled could be risking shrinking and weakening. If going for Fey roads, possibly needing fairy gates at exit points, such as toadstool rings or crossed trees.
 
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Hi! I just discovered this story a while ago and just finished catching up, though I gotta admit that I just started skimming through it near the end.

While the premise is VERY interesting, the execution leaves a lot to be desired, and several things jumped out at me while reading through it, so if you're ok with receiving criticism in order to improve (I'm assuming you are, since you're posting this in a public space where people can comment on it), I'd like to point out those things

First of all, please for the love of God, keep responses, quotes and author notes separate from the actual chapters. The fact that you have no separation whatsoever between the story and random replies to people in the thread completely ruins any chance of building immersion in the story.

Either put all of the notes hidden under a spoiler at the end, or outright make separate posts for them. This is a serious issue, because as it is, there are a lot of chapters that are more replies or notes than actual story.

Same thing applies to vote choices. Try to put them under blank quotes to separate them better.


Now, leaving formatting issues aside, there's several big issues with the story itself that I'd like to bring up.

First, the protagonist, or rather, the lack of one. Seriously, the main character is for all intents and purposes a nonentity here. If you ignored the first chapters where people voted for her appearance, you wouldn't even know their gender, let alone anything about their appearance, because it has never even been brought up. She doesn't seem to have a personality either. And let's not even talk about the fact that the amount of times she's said anything out loud can be counted on one hand. She doesn't read like much of a person at all.

Hell, the characters barely even talk, period. I don't think I've seen dialogue quotes more than 5 times throughout the entirety of the story. You're on the bad end of the "show, don't tell" side of the scale here. Way too much telling, and barely any showing at all.

As things stand, the audience has no reason to become invested in the story, because none of the characters seem to matter. Not even the protagonist. The story pretty much amounts to a dry retelling of "and then the numbers went up".

The overall structure for an actual story is there, yes, but it all feels empty and detached, like the author itself is skimming over everything. Like walking into a ghost town. It feels like there is no soul, no character, no life to any of it. Brigitte is pretty much the only character that even hints at having a personality and being alive so far.

If you want to improve as an author and story writer, you need to invest effort into improving characterization and change the way you do things. Because at the end of the day, the absolute most crucial part of a story are its characters, and without them, then there isn't really much of a story to tell at all.


I'm sorry if some of this comes across as rude, but the premise was really interesting and had enough potential to make me feel disappointed once I saw the actual state of the story.
 
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Trod was an auto corruption from roads. But yes, it was essentially an attempt to create a limited feywild dimension. at first, probably just favored terrain, maybe with some camouflage, and lucky branch emplacement, then scaling to include seven steps in the space of single step with maybe with a notice-me-not charm, up to seven mile boots on everyone, scaling up until its its own feywild, or web way.

Old corruption: Trod - Wikipedia. Relates to faerie rings and paths.
 
[X] A tree with animated razor-sharp leaves and the ability to be guided by a human-intelligence to know friend from foe. As a sapling it won't be able to do much, but it will give a good idea of how powerful it could be when it gets bigger and moving it into the village won't be too hard. The force animating the leaves is powerful enough to pull fighter-jets from the sky and the leaves move fast enough to swat missiles out of the air. The tree also, given sufficient supplies and supplication by other people, should be able to produce acorns.

I'm sorry if some of this comes across as rude, but the premise was really interesting and had enough potential to make me feel disappointed once I saw the actual state of the story.
How about you let the QM format/run their quest the way they want? While I acknowledge there are some issues, it's mostly stylistic stuff.
 
Fair. I just think there should be more dialogue and separation between actual story and replies/notes, that's all.
dialogue is pretty difficult for me. I'm trying but the only way I've gotten good results in the past is if I can listen to the voices in my head and I haven't had these characters for long enough to build up their voices, for anyone except Beth right now.
 
Fair. I just think there should be more dialogue and separation between actual story and replies/notes, that's all.
I've been enjoying adding Omakes to the story to try to flesh this out.

dialogue is pretty difficult for me. I'm trying but the only way I've gotten good results in the past is if I can listen to the voices in my head and I haven't had these characters for long enough to build up their voices, for anyone except Beth right now.

Want me to write viewpoint Omakes for anyone else?
 
[x] A flock of artificial Stymphalian Birds. By crafting metal bodies and binding the spirits of dead birds into them, you will be able to create a weapon capable of slicing through exposed flesh with their wings and boring through steel with their hardend beaks. Making more for the swarm will take more effort, but each bird will be a potent weapon.
 
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